Boat Tour
Part 1
Tinker Bell: Welcome aboard our nighttime flight boat tour! Hello everyone! My name is Tinker Bell! I'll be your skipper today on the Leaky Westbucket (NERVOUS LAUGHING)
(Boat moves)
Oh well, Wave goodbye to you families, girls! You may never see them again! Of course, if they're like my family, you may prefer that! (LAUGHING) Just kidding, Ma! Anyways, please keep your arms, legs, wings, and dress in the boat at all times! Vidia, got your cameras ready?
Vidia: All ready, Tinker Bell!
(A yellow firefly comes up)
Tinker Bell: Ooh! A Bobson's firefly! They're very rare!
(Iridessa eats the firefly)
And now, they're extinct!
Iridessa: But delicious! (BURP!)
(Polliwogs come up on the right)
Tinker Bell: Over on your right, I heard of polliwogs! Some of these babies weigh as much as 30 bullfrogs and boy do they look like it!
(Polliwogs opens her mouth)
Except for you Madam.
(Another polliwog opens his mouth)
They look hungry! Maybe we'd better go around them! Hey guys! Which way? Left or right?
Rosetta: Yeah! Pick something! And fast! They're looking at me funny!
Tinker Bell: Ro, everyone looks at you funny!
Silvermist: Hurry up and decide, would you! They're twitching their ears!
If you chose left, you'll get this:
(Rain starts)
Tinker Bell: Now as we move further downriver, Notice the sudden changes in weather! Very characteristic to the area!
Silvermist: Aah! Rain! That feels good! Very refreshing!
Tinker Bell (In disgust): (Breaths) I love the smell of wet Sil in the evening! It smells like... YYYOOOOOOOOEEE!
(Thunder crashes in the distance)
(SILVERMIST WHINES)
Tinker Bell: Sil... you're not scared of a little thunder, are you?
(Thundering thunderclap with a lightning bolt strikes the boat and Subwoofer is extremely intense)
MOMMY! (SPLASH!)
Vidia: Uh, skipper, why did you jump out of the boat?
Tinker Bell: I was just showing our passengers that the waters are perfectly safe! Hehe! Yeah, that's it!
If you chose right, you'll get this:
(Boat moves to the right, you see the Pixie Dust Tree)
Tinker Bell: OK! Over on your right, a tree! Pee! Big deal! A tree!
Vidia: Tinker Bell! Isn't that the Pixie Dust Tree? The fairy's home and metaphoric heart and soul of Pixie Hollow?
Tinker Bell: Uh, yeah that's what I meant.
Part 2
Fawn: Hey, Tinker Bell, aren't there snakes in this part of the river?
Tinker Bell: Snakes? Snakes don't swim.
Fawn: But they can CLIMB!
(Snake attacks)
SNAP!
(ALL SHRIEKING)
Tinker Bell: Quick! Go around it! Go! Go!
Iridessa: How do you know it's a him?
Tinker Bell: There's no way I'm getting close enough to find out!
(Boat stops)
OK, pal! What do you think? Left or right?
Fawn: Pick left! Pick left!
Tinker Bell: They can pick whatever they want!
Fawn: Yeah! But pick left!
Tinker Bell: Why?
Fawn: I've got a good feeling about it!
If you chose left (Fawn's recommendation), you'll get this:
CRASH!
Tinker Bell: Oh! Great choice, Fawn!
Fawn: Sorry!
Tinker Bell: Sorry Shmorry! We're caught on something! Now what are we gonna do?
Silvermist: Notice the tranquil harmony of the flowing water as it...
Tinker Bell: ...As it flows right by us because we're jammed, lodged, snagged, as in... NOT MOVING! Sheez! Rock the boat! Run back and forth! Throw your weight around, you know, to shift the boat!
Vidia: Hmm, OK!
(Vidia stomps the boat and the boat finally touches the water)
If you chose right, this is what you get:
Vidia: Tinker Bell, it's polliwogs again!
Tinker Bell: No worries! Unless they wiggle their ears!
(The polliwogs wiggle their ears!)
Silvermist: Uh oh!
(The polliwogs spray water onto the boat)
Tinker Bell: Bleeaah! Oooh! You got the water fairy wet again! Thank you!
(Polliwogs make noise in the distance)
Part 3
Tinker Bell: Now where were we? Oh yes! If you all look straight ahead, you can see the nice, calm, quiet...
(Birds make some noise)
(Gibberish)! (Gibberish)! Get out of here!
Fawn: That's...
Lyria (Hand in your face): STOP! ssssssssh!
(Birds fly off)
Tinker Bell: Show off!
(Engine stalls)
Part 4
Tinker Bell: Aah! Finally, a little peace! Completely quiet! Not a sound! Not even the sound of the boat?! Vidia? Are we stalled?
Vidia: No problem! I got it handled!
(The light turns off; the boat's battery drains)
Tinker Bell: Hurry up! These are alligator infested waters!
Rosetta (factual): Don't be silly, Tinker Bell! Alligators live in the humid, mucky swamps of North America. Nope! These tributaries are home to...
(Crocs jump onto the boat)
Cccc... CCC... CROCODILES! (SHRIEKING)
Tinker Bell: FORWARD!
(Boat races through swerves)
Oy! That was a close one! Oh! I think I'm having chest pains!
Vidia: I'm feeling windy!
Tinker Bell: No! Vidia! Don't!
Vidia: (SNEEZES)
Oy! Tell me that am swamp vapors!
OK, girls! Quickly! Left or right? Pick right! It looks well ventilated!
Vidia: Left looks nice too!
If you chose left, this is what you get:
Tinker Bell: Well, you may be right, Vidia. This does look nice! Notice the calm, pleasant... Fogbank!
Vidia: Hmm, I wonder what that sound is?
Tinker Bell: It sounds like... Water!
Louder and louder water!
(You see the edge of a waterfall!)
It's a WATERFALL! OOH! SORRY! SKIPPER KNOWS LEAST!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SPLASH!)
If you chose right, this is what you get:
Tinker Bell: See? Good choice! Your skipper knows best! Now, everyone, if you'll notice. We are...
(Rapid spinning)
Going around in circles. Wait! Vidia! The other way! You! Don't just sit there! Tell Vidia to go the other way! THE OTHER WAY!
Vidia: I can't! It's a "Whirlly Whirlly"!
Tinker Bell: (SCREAMING) A WHIRLPOOL!
Vidia: GETTING DIZZY!
Tinker Bell: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBU! (Underwater) I CAN'T BREEEEEEEEATHE!
The Conclusion
(Back at the route beginning of the route)
Tinker Bell: Well, everyone thanks for joining us! Please exit to the right! Did you enjoy yourselves?
Vidia: Well, if I were skipper, I'd make some different choices next time!
Tinker Bell: EEEEEE! OK, everyone, get your thumbs ready to choose your next ride! Ooh, wait: let's look at our pictures from the tour!
(Depending on the route you took, your pictures will be different every time you go on the ride)
END
Part 1
Tinker Bell: Welcome aboard our nighttime flight boat tour! Hello everyone! My name is Tinker Bell! I'll be your skipper today on the Leaky Westbucket (NERVOUS LAUGHING)
(Boat moves)
Oh well, Wave goodbye to you families, girls! You may never see them again! Of course, if they're like my family, you may prefer that! (LAUGHING) Just kidding, Ma! Anyways, please keep your arms, legs, wings, and dress in the boat at all times! Vidia, got your cameras ready?
Vidia: All ready, Tinker Bell!
(A yellow firefly comes up)
Tinker Bell: Ooh! A Bobson's firefly! They're very rare!
(Iridessa eats the firefly)
And now, they're extinct!
Iridessa: But delicious! (BURP!)
(Polliwogs come up on the right)
Tinker Bell: Over on your right, I heard of polliwogs! Some of these babies weigh as much as 30 bullfrogs and boy do they look like it!
(Polliwogs opens her mouth)
Except for you Madam.
(Another polliwog opens his mouth)
They look hungry! Maybe we'd better go around them! Hey guys! Which way? Left or right?
Rosetta: Yeah! Pick something! And fast! They're looking at me funny!
Tinker Bell: Ro, everyone looks at you funny!
Silvermist: Hurry up and decide, would you! They're twitching their ears!
If you chose left, you'll get this:
(Rain starts)
Tinker Bell: Now as we move further downriver, Notice the sudden changes in weather! Very characteristic to the area!
Silvermist: Aah! Rain! That feels good! Very refreshing!
Tinker Bell (In disgust): (Breaths) I love the smell of wet Sil in the evening! It smells like... YYYOOOOOOOOEEE!
(Thunder crashes in the distance)
(SILVERMIST WHINES)
Tinker Bell: Sil... you're not scared of a little thunder, are you?
(Thundering thunderclap with a lightning bolt strikes the boat and Subwoofer is extremely intense)
MOMMY! (SPLASH!)
Vidia: Uh, skipper, why did you jump out of the boat?
Tinker Bell: I was just showing our passengers that the waters are perfectly safe! Hehe! Yeah, that's it!
If you chose right, you'll get this:
(Boat moves to the right, you see the Pixie Dust Tree)
Tinker Bell: OK! Over on your right, a tree! Pee! Big deal! A tree!
Vidia: Tinker Bell! Isn't that the Pixie Dust Tree? The fairy's home and metaphoric heart and soul of Pixie Hollow?
Tinker Bell: Uh, yeah that's what I meant.
Part 2
Fawn: Hey, Tinker Bell, aren't there snakes in this part of the river?
Tinker Bell: Snakes? Snakes don't swim.
Fawn: But they can CLIMB!
(Snake attacks)
SNAP!
(ALL SHRIEKING)
Tinker Bell: Quick! Go around it! Go! Go!
Iridessa: How do you know it's a him?
Tinker Bell: There's no way I'm getting close enough to find out!
(Boat stops)
OK, pal! What do you think? Left or right?
Fawn: Pick left! Pick left!
Tinker Bell: They can pick whatever they want!
Fawn: Yeah! But pick left!
Tinker Bell: Why?
Fawn: I've got a good feeling about it!
If you chose left (Fawn's recommendation), you'll get this:
CRASH!
Tinker Bell: Oh! Great choice, Fawn!
Fawn: Sorry!
Tinker Bell: Sorry Shmorry! We're caught on something! Now what are we gonna do?
Silvermist: Notice the tranquil harmony of the flowing water as it...
Tinker Bell: ...As it flows right by us because we're jammed, lodged, snagged, as in... NOT MOVING! Sheez! Rock the boat! Run back and forth! Throw your weight around, you know, to shift the boat!
Vidia: Hmm, OK!
(Vidia stomps the boat and the boat finally touches the water)
If you chose right, this is what you get:
Vidia: Tinker Bell, it's polliwogs again!
Tinker Bell: No worries! Unless they wiggle their ears!
(The polliwogs wiggle their ears!)
Silvermist: Uh oh!
(The polliwogs spray water onto the boat)
Tinker Bell: Bleeaah! Oooh! You got the water fairy wet again! Thank you!
(Polliwogs make noise in the distance)
Part 3
Tinker Bell: Now where were we? Oh yes! If you all look straight ahead, you can see the nice, calm, quiet...
(Birds make some noise)
(Gibberish)! (Gibberish)! Get out of here!
Fawn: That's...
Lyria (Hand in your face): STOP! ssssssssh!
(Birds fly off)
Tinker Bell: Show off!
(Engine stalls)
Part 4
Tinker Bell: Aah! Finally, a little peace! Completely quiet! Not a sound! Not even the sound of the boat?! Vidia? Are we stalled?
Vidia: No problem! I got it handled!
(The light turns off; the boat's battery drains)
Tinker Bell: Hurry up! These are alligator infested waters!
Rosetta (factual): Don't be silly, Tinker Bell! Alligators live in the humid, mucky swamps of North America. Nope! These tributaries are home to...
(Crocs jump onto the boat)
Cccc... CCC... CROCODILES! (SHRIEKING)
Tinker Bell: FORWARD!
(Boat races through swerves)
Oy! That was a close one! Oh! I think I'm having chest pains!
Vidia: I'm feeling windy!
Tinker Bell: No! Vidia! Don't!
Vidia: (SNEEZES)
Oy! Tell me that am swamp vapors!
OK, girls! Quickly! Left or right? Pick right! It looks well ventilated!
Vidia: Left looks nice too!
If you chose left, this is what you get:
Tinker Bell: Well, you may be right, Vidia. This does look nice! Notice the calm, pleasant... Fogbank!
Vidia: Hmm, I wonder what that sound is?
Tinker Bell: It sounds like... Water!
Louder and louder water!
(You see the edge of a waterfall!)
It's a WATERFALL! OOH! SORRY! SKIPPER KNOWS LEAST!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SPLASH!)
If you chose right, this is what you get:
Tinker Bell: See? Good choice! Your skipper knows best! Now, everyone, if you'll notice. We are...
(Rapid spinning)
Going around in circles. Wait! Vidia! The other way! You! Don't just sit there! Tell Vidia to go the other way! THE OTHER WAY!
Vidia: I can't! It's a "Whirlly Whirlly"!
Tinker Bell: (SCREAMING) A WHIRLPOOL!
Vidia: GETTING DIZZY!
Tinker Bell: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBUBU! (Underwater) I CAN'T BREEEEEEEEATHE!
The Conclusion
(Back at the route beginning of the route)
Tinker Bell: Well, everyone thanks for joining us! Please exit to the right! Did you enjoy yourselves?
Vidia: Well, if I were skipper, I'd make some different choices next time!
Tinker Bell: EEEEEE! OK, everyone, get your thumbs ready to choose your next ride! Ooh, wait: let's look at our pictures from the tour!
(Depending on the route you took, your pictures will be different every time you go on the ride)
END
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