The Simpsons Movie script

(DRUMROLL)
(ROUSING ORCHESTRAL
FANFARE PLAYING)
(RALPH SCREECHILY
SINGING WITH FANFARE)
(FANFARE ENDS)
(LOW, PULSATING RUMBLE)
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
(TRIUMPHANT THEME PLAYING)
(ORCHESTRA CRESCENDOES)
(PERCUSSION BOOMING)
We come in peace
for cats and mice everywhere.
(SCREAMING)
(GLASS BREAKS, AIR HISSING)
(POPPING)
(LAUGHING)
(ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.
Thanks for coming out.
(PRESIDENTIAL SONG PLAYING)
SCRATCHY: Itchy... Itchy...
(AIR HORN BLASTS)
(QUIET, OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
GROWS LOUDER)
(SNAPS FINGERS)
(CLICK)
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
(MUSIC CRESCENDOES)
(LOUD BUZZING)
(MISSILES RUMBLING)
(MISSILES WHIZZING
THROUGH AIR)
(SCREAMING)
(MISSILE WHIZZING)
(MECHANICAL RATCHETING)
(METALLIC CLUNK)
(LOUD EXPLOSION)
Boring!
LISA: Dad, we can't see the movie!
I can't believe we're paying to see
something we get on TV for free.
If you ask me, everybody
in this theater is a giant sucker,
especially you!
(CHORUS SINGING)
♪ Movie on the big screen!
(THEME PLAYING)
(CREAKING, THUD)
(PEN SQUEAKS)
(MARTIN HOWLING)
(ROCK BAND JOINS IN
ON THE SIMPSONS THEME)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
Excuse me, my heinie is dipping.
-(OTHERS GROAN IN DISGUST)
-(LOUD THUD, GRUNT)
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
♪ Hey! Hey!
♪ Hey! Hey!
(TO THE SIMPSONS THEME)
♪ Da, da, da, da-da, da, da
♪ Da, da-da-da-da
CROWD: ♪ Da-da-da-da-da
♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
(SONG ENDS, CHEERING)
All right, well,
thanks a lot for coming.
We've been playing
for three and a half hours.
Now we'd like just a minute of your time
to say something
about the environment!
-(CROWD QUIETS)
-CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(LOUD BOOING)
MAN 1: You suck!
MAN 2: Shut up and play!
-Preachy!
-We're not being preachy.
But the pollution in your lake,
it's dissolving our barge!
(CROWD BOOING)
I thought they touched on a vital issue.
I beg to differ.
(GRUNTS)
(SCREECHY GASP)
Gentlemen, it's been an honor
playing with you tonight.
(PLAYING
"NEARER MY GOD TO THEE")
(ORGAN PLAYING)
For the latest rock band
to die in our town,
Lord, hear our prayer.
CONGREGATION:
Lord, hear our prayer.
(CAR SCREECHES TO A HALT)
MARGE: I hate being late.
HOMER: Well, I hate going.
Why can't I worship the Lord
in my own way...
by praying like hell on my deathbed?
MARGE: Homer,
they can hear you inside.
HOMER: Relax. Those pious
morons are too busy
talking to their phony-baloney God.
(QUIETLY) How you doing?
Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.
(GRAMPA SNORING)
(ORGAN PLAYING QUIETLY)
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
-(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)
-(BABIES SCREAMING)
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS STOP)
Now, today I'd like to try
something a little different.
I'm going to call on one of you!
(MAN YELPS)
(CHUCKLES) Now, the word
of God dwells within everyone.
I want you to let that word out.
-Let your spirit...
-NED: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
(FRUSTRATED SIGH) What is it, Ned?
The good Lord is telling me
to confess to something.
(QUIETLY)
Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
An immodest sense of pride
in our community!
Somebody else?
Let the Lord's light shine upon you.
-(HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGING)
-(SNORING)
Feel the spirit.
Let it out!
Horrible, horrible things
are going to happen!
And they're gonna happen to you
and you and you!
-And you!
-(GASPS)
Whoa, Nelly.
(GOOFY GASPING)
(GRUNTING)
(BEEP)
People of Springfield,
heed this warning!
Twisted tail!
A thousand eyes!
Trapped forever!
(GRUNTING LIKE THREE STOOGES)
Dad, do something!
This book doesn't have any answers!
Beware, beware! Time is short!
EPA! EPA! EPA!
(LOUD THUD)
Believe me! Believe me!
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Thanks for listening.
Okay, who wants waffles?
ALL: I do! I do! I do!
Wait a minute. What about Grandpa?
-I want syrup.
-I want strawberries!
Something happened to that man.
I'll tell you what happened to him. A
certain someone had a senior moment.
But that's okay, because we love him
and we got a free rug out of it.
What is the point of
going to church every Sunday
when if someone we love has a
genuine religious experience,
we ignore it? Right, Grandpa?
I want bananas on my waffles!
I rest my case.
I'm not dropping this.
Wait a minute! I'm still in the car.
Oh, right.
Hmm...
"Take out hornets' nest."
(HORNETS BUZZING)
(FRENZIED BUZZING)
Check. "Fix sinkhole."
(QUIET SUCKING)
(SUCKING CONTINUES)
-(PLOP)
-(SUCKING STOPS)
Check.
"Reshingle roof"?
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
Steady...
Steady...
-(LOUD SQUISH)
-HOMER: Ow-how-how!
-Ow-how-how!
-(BART LAUGHING)
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
(YELLS) Why, you little...
I'll teach you to laugh
at something that's funny!
(EXHALES) You know, we are on
the roof. We could have some fun.
What kind of fun?
How about a dare contest?
That sounds fun. I dare you to...
climb the TV antenna.
Piece of cake.
-Earthquake!
-(LAUGHING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING AND GASPS)
(GRUNTING)
Aftershock!
-(PLAYFUL GRUNTING)
-(BART LAUGHING)
NED: Homer, I don't mean to be
a nervous Pervis or anything,
but if he falls, couldn't that
make your boy a parapleg-erino?
Shut up, Flanders.
-Yeah, shut up, Flanders.
-Well said, boy.
BOTH: Yeah!
Steady... Steady...
Steady...
HOMER: Ah!
-(THUDS)
-(BART LAUGHING)
(KNOCKING)
LISA: Hello. Sorry to
bother you on a Sunday,
but I'm sure you're as worried about
the pollution in Lake Springfield as I am.
(DOOR SLAMS)
(KNOCKING)
LISA: Lake Springfield has
higher levels of mercury than even...
(DOOR SLAMS)
WOMAN: Why, it's the little
girl who saved my cat.
LISA: Lake Springfield is...
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-(SIGHS)
(DOORS SLAMMING)
(DOG YELPS)
(DOOR SLAMS)
-(BELL RINGS)
-(SHIP'S HORN BLOWS)
(GROANS) Oh...
-(DOOR CREAKS)
-Come on over, Lisa.
You can canvass me
as long as you want.
Milhouse, you don't care
about the environment.
Hey! I am very passionate
about the planet!
Say global warming is a myth!
It's a myth! Further study is needed!
(GRUNTS)
That's for selling out your beliefs!
Oh, poor Milhouse.
-Dream coming true.
-(KNOCKING)
COLIN: Are you aware that
a leaky faucet can waste over...
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-2,000 gallons a year.
-And turning off your lights can save...
-Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
And if we just kept our
thermostats at 68 in winter...
We'd be free from our dependency
on foreign oil in 17 years!
-I'm Colin.
-(GASPS SOFTLY)
I haven't seen you at school.
Just moved from Ireland.
My dad's a musician.
-Is he...
-He's not Bono.
I just thought because you're
Irish and you care about...
He's not Bono.
Do you play?
Just piano, guitar,
trumpet, drums and bass.
LISA: (THINKING) He's pure gold!
For once in your life, be cool.
So is your name as pretty as your face?
Oh!
(SCREECHES) Ha! Ha!
You okay there?
(LISA GAGGING)
(CHOKING AND GIGGLING)
Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!
Trapped forever! EPA! EPA!
"EPA." What could that be?
I believe it's the sound
the Green Lantern made
when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.
Epa!
Yeah. Uh, thanks for coming over.
Thanks for giving me
your pregnancy pants.
I've never known comfort like this.
(ELASTIC SLAPS)
-(BB'S PINGING)
-(HOMER GRUNTING)
D'oh! Oh, why did I... Oh! Suggest this?
(SHRIEKING) Oh! Aah!
Ow! Ee! Aah! Aah!
(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)
(TIMER DINGS)
All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare.
I dare you to skateboard
to Krusty Burger and back...
naked.
-How naked?
-Fourth base.
But girls might see my doodle.
(MOCKING) Oh, I see. Then
I hereby declare you "chicken for life."
Every morning, you'll wake up
to "Good morning, chicken."
At your wedding, I'll sing,
(CLUCKING WEDDING SONG)
(SURPRISED CLUCK)
(SURF ROCK PLAYING)
(PEOPLE GASP)
I like men now.
Don't look where I'm pointing!
(SIREN WAILING)
WIGGUM: Stop in the name of
American squeamishness!
-(TIRES SCREECH)
-(DRIVERS GASPING)
Boys, before we eat, don't forget
to thank the Lord for this bountiful...
Penis!
BOTH: Bountiful penis.
Amen.
(GLASS SQUEAKING)
Listen, kid, nobody
likes wearing clothes in public,
but, you know, it-it's the law.
Lunchtime!
You can't just leave me out here.
Don't worry. We found
a friend for you to play with.
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
(HOARSELY) Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha...
Nelson, honey, where have you been?
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
Dad!
What seems to be the problem, officers?
Tell them you dared me to do it.
If that's true, then you should be
taking the rap here, not your son.
And what happens to me if it's my fault?
You'll have to attend
a one-hour parenting class.
It was all his idea!
He's out of control, I tell you!
I'm at my wit's end!
(SOBBING) It's so...
WIGGUM: See you in court, kid.
Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
Did you at least bring my clothes?
Shirt, socks, everything you need.
-You didn't bring my pants!
-Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
(SIGHS) Oh, this is
the worst day of my life.
The worst day of your life so far.
-Say, Bart?
-What do you want, Flanders?
If you need pants, I carry an extra pair.
I mean, you know how boys are,
always praying through the knees.
Why are you helping me?
I'm not your kid.
We're neighbors. I'm sure your father
would do the same for my boys.
HOMER: Thank you.
(CHOMPING) Mm, mm, mm...
(MUMBLING)
-Hey, what's with you?
-You really want to know?
Of course I do.
What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...
A pig wearing a hat!
MAN: Action.
Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty, for
my new pork sandwich, the Klogger!
If you can find a greasier sandwich,
you're in Mexico!
(GOOFY LAUGHING)
Mmm!
MAN: And we're clear.
Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.
(SQUEALING)
What? You can't kill him
if he's wearing people clothes.
(SQUEALS)
(SQUEAKS, SNORTS)
(MAN SINGING
ROMANTIC POP SONG)
-You're coming home with me.
-(SQUEALS AND SNORTS)
(GUNSHOTS AND BABIES CRYING)
"A thousand eyes." What could that be?
Hmm, I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
Actually, it's aged me horribly.
Then say hello
to the newest Simpson!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
(GASPS)
Homer!
(QUIET GRUNT)
I believe what happened in church
was a warning about precisely this.
Please, get rid of that pig!
Oh, you're gonna love him.
Look, he does an impression of you.
(SQUEALS LOUDLY)
(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHING) You nailed her.
He also does me.
(BELCHES)
(MARGE LAUGHING)
You smiled! I'm off the hook!
Ooh.
(HOMER HUMMING)
Oh, you have so many looks.
(PLOPPER SNORTS)
(SIGHS)
(KISSING)
(VACUUM WHIRRING)
Hmm, so that's what snug is.
HOMER: Who's a good pig?
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
Who's a good pig?
NED: Rough day, huh, son?
You don't know what rough is, sister.
(CHUCKLES)
Bart, you know, whenever my boys
bake up a batch of frownies,
I take them fishing.
Does your dad ever take you fishing?
-(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)
-Dad!
It's not fair to use a
bug zapper to catch the fish.
If you love fish like I do,
you want them to die with dignity.
(LOUD ZAPPING)
(GURGLING)
I think I have a nibble. (SCREAMS)
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
-(SCREAMING)
-(SCREAMING)
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
-(SCREAMING)
I think fishing might be
more fun with you.
Oh, great. Now, how about
I fix you some cocoa?
No way, cocoa's for wusses.
Well, sir, if you change your mind,
it's on the windowsill.
(GRUNTS)
(SLURPING)
BART: Oh, my God.
Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the
best part. He loves the environment.
Oh, wait, I still didn't tell you
the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.
No, no, wait, wait! I still
didn't tell you the best part!
He's not imaginary.
Oh, honey, that's great.
But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.
Because nothing means more
than for a man to...
How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?
♪ Spider Pig, Spider-Pig
♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
♪ Can he swing from a web?
♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
♪ Look out He is the Spider-Pig.
(DUCKS QUACKING)
Are we having fun yet?
We are now. You've got a bite.
Whoa, mama!
Oh, no, my good pole!
(CHOKING)
Huh? You're not strangling me.
What the...
Why, strangling's only good for...
Well, it's not really good for anything.
I think the only time
you should lay hands on a boy
is when you're giving him
a good old pat on the back.
Hey, what the hell are you...
Oh... One more time.
-(INCOHERENT RAMBLING)
-(MEOWING)
-(BOTTLES CLINKING)
-Honey, I'm home.
(SHRIEKS)
(GROWLS)
(GUITAR PLAYING SWEETLY)
LISA: We are at the
tipping point, people.
If we don't do something now, uh...
I'm sorry, I lost my train
of thought. Isn't he dreamy?
-Agreed.
-(GAVEL BANGS)
Okay, so here's the bottom line.
If we don't change our ways right now,
pollution in Lake Springfield
will be at this level.
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
That's not so bad.
-No, the lift is stuck.
-(GEARS GRINDING)
(WHIRRING AND GRINDING)
(CRASHING)
Am I getting through to anyone?
Hell, yeah. We need
a new one of those things.
All in favor of a new scissor lift say aye.
-CROWD: Aye.
-No!
This lake is just one piece of trash
away from a toxic nightmare.
But I knew you wouldn't listen,
so I took the liberty of pouring water
from the lake
in all your drinking glasses.
(SPITTING AND GROANING)
MOE: This is why we should hate kids.
This is serious, people.
No more dumping in the lake.
I hereby declare a state of emergency.
Code black.
(GASPING)
Black? That's the worst color there is.
-No offense there, Carl.
-I get it all the time.
(TRIUMPHANT
ORCHESTRATION PLAYS)
(SIZZLING)
(MACHINERY WHIRRING)
Uh, sorry, sorry. No dumping in the lake.
Fine. I will put my yard
trimmings in a car compactor.
Uh... Chief, I think there
was a dead body in there.
I thought that too,
until he said "yard trimmings."
You got to learn to listen, Lou.
Let us now make sure this barrier
is completely idiotproof.
-Cletus.
-Yessum?
Try to dump something in the lake.
Okay.
I can't. I-I simply can't.
-Brilliant.
-Very effective.
(SNORTS)
(KISSING)
Ayayay!
Un burro amoroso!
Don't get any ideas. Huh?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Maybe we should kiss
just to break the tension.
What's going on here?
Uh, nothing, nothing.
I'm not sure that pig
should be in the house.
And by the way, what are
you doing with his leavings?
Don't worry. I've devised
a most elegant solution.
(GROANS) Oh, it's leaking.
It's not leaking, it's overflowing.
He filled up the whole silo
in just two days?
Well, I helped.
Homer, stop. I know it's easy
for your mind to wander...
(CYMBALS CLICKING)
(MUFFLED) I want you
to really concentrate on me.
I can't escape the feeling that this
is the crisis Grandpa warned us about.
You have to dispose
of that waste properly.
Okay, Marge, I will.
You can take Spider Pig with you.
He's not Spider-Pig anymore.
He's Harry Plopper.
(SNORTS)
(FAINT CELL PHONE CHIMING)
(GRUNTS)
Y'ello.
Homer, you got to get over here.
Health inspector just
shut down the doughnut store,
and they're giving out free doughnuts.
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
I just got one thing I got to do first.
Well, you better hurry!
They're going fast.
(GUNSHOT)
Whoa, that was close.
Oh!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(GRUNTS)
(GURGLING)
(GURGLING)
(FIZZING)
Uh-oh.
DEEP VOICE: Evil!
Drive, drive, drive!
-(SNORTING)
-Oh, right.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CHITTERING)
(SNARLING)
(BUBBLING)
(GROWLING)
(GIGGLES)
Look at that. You can see the
four states that border Springfield.
Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.
Oh, yeah.
And if you look real close,
you can almost... (SHRIEKS)
Well, this certainly seems odd,
but who am I to question
the work of the Almighty?
Oh, we thank you, Lord, for
this mighty fine intelligent design.
Good job.
BART: Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab!
Hey, jab one more eye,
and it's a federal crime.
-Who are you?
-Environmental Protection Agency.
Russ Cargill, head of the E.P.A.,
here to see the president.
(BUZZING)
(RAPID BUZZING)
Mr. President.
Ja. That is me.
Pollution in Springfield
has reached crisis levels.
Oh... I hate this job. Everything's
crisis this and end of the world that.
Nobody opens with a joke.
I miss Danny DeVito.
You want a joke, huh?
Stop me if you've heard this one.
-(GROWLING)
-(GASPS)
Look at those angry
eyes and giant teeth.
It's like Christmas
at the Kennedy compound.
You know, sir, when you
made me head of the E.P.A.,
you were applauded for appointing one
of the most successful men in America
to the least successful
agency in government.
And why did I take the job?
'Cause I'm a rich man who
wanted to give something back.
Not the money, but something.
So here is our chance to kick
some ass for Mother Earth.
I'm listening.
Well, I've narrowed your choices down
to five unthinkable options.
Each will cause untold misery...
I pick number three.
You don't even want to read them first?
I was elected to lead,
not to read. Number three!
(LOW RUMBLING)
(INHALER WHOOSING)
(CHOKING)
(RUMBLING)
(SCREAMING)
(ROTORS WHIRRING)
(CRACKING AND RUMBLING)
(GASPING) We're being
sealed in a dome! (YELLS)
(THUDS) Whoa!
Oh, what do I do?
I don't know what to do.
If I stay I'm trapped, if I leave I'm alone.
Oh, God! In, out, in, out...
I never saw Venice.
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
(CRASHING)
EPA! EPA! Trapped forever.
It's all come true.
That crazy old man in church was right.
(SUCTION POPPING)
(SCREAMING) D'oh-ome!
(INDISTINCT MURMURING)
(SIRENS APPROACHING)
(GASPING AND SHRIEKING)
All right, men, open fire.
-(GUNSHOTS RICOCHETING)
-COPS: Ow!
Who's hurt? Raise your hands.
(GROANING)
Without the attitude.
People, people. I have
an important announcement.
I have just perfected
an acid-firing super-drill
which can cut through anything.
-Hey, that's cool.
-(CROWD GASPING)
It's right there.
Just outside... of the dome.
(CROWD GROANING)
(BANGING)
What ruthless madmen
could have done this to us?
CARGILL:
The United States government.
(GASPING AND MURMURING)
(STATIC HISSES)
My name is Russ Cargill,
and I'm head of the E.P.A.
(INSDISTNICT MURMURING)
The what?
-Environmental Protection Agency.
-LENNY: Come again?
Look, I'm a man on a big TV. Just listen.
-Springfield has become...
-MAN 1: Whoo! Springfield!
the most polluted city
in the history of the planet.
KRUSTY: Drama queen!
To keep your poisons from spreading,
your government has
sealed you all within this dome.
(GASPING)
Believe me, it's the
last thing we wanted to do.
I do own the company that makes
the dome, but that's beside the point.
What, are you telling us
we're trapped like rats?
No, rats can't be trapped this easily.
You're trapped like... carrots.
Wait. We couldn't be more polluted.
Everyone stopped dumping in the lake.
Apparently someone
didn't get the message.
Act natural.
(SNORTS)
Hey, buddy, sooner or later, people
are going to come by and discover this.
Don't worry about that. We found
a way to take you off the map.
G.P.S.: Coming up on your right...
-(BEEP)
-Nothing.
This is Kent Brockman,
reporting to you on a crisis so serious
it has its own name and theme music.
(DRAMATIC THEME PLAYING)
The dome has put
an end to life as we know it.
The town is running low on supplies
of everything from gasoline to Botox.
Moment, please.
Now, as always, (CHUCKLES)
we end our news on the lighter side.
It's the time of year when
the swallows return to Springfield.
(CHIRPING)
(THUDDING)
(SCREECHING ALONG GLASS)
(MEOWING)
(WIND RUSTLING TREES)
(MARGE SIGHS DEEPLY)
I think the thing I miss most
is a simple summer breeze.
(GASPS)
Maggie?
(SUCKS PACIFIER)
MAN ON TV: We've got dome wax,
dome polish, dome freshener,
all your dome needs at Dome Depot,
located at the intersection
of the 105 Freeway and the dome.
CHORUS: Dome Depot!
(BELL DINGS)
-Maggie got out! Maggie got out!
-Huh?
Maggie was right there.
Just outside the dome.
Marge, she's right here.
Hmm?
This dome can play tricks on you.
You just have to keep calm and...
Oh, my God!
I'm out of the dome.
Fresh air! Freedom!
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
I'll write you. Lead good lives.
(HOMER GROANS)
(MARGE SIGHS HEAVILY)
(SUCKS PACIFIER)
Good evening, this is Kent Brockman.
Efforts to find out whose selfish crime
against the environment caused
our entrapment have been fruitless.
(CHUCKLES)
-Until moments ago,
-(SHRIEKS)
a shocking discovery has
been made here at Lake Springfield.
That could be anybody's pig-crap silo.
-(SHRIEKS)
-(GASPS) Homer!
It was you!
You single-handedly killed this town.
I know. It's weird.
Just a reminder. This station
does not endorse vigilante justice.
Unless it gets results. Which it will.
(BUZZER SOUNDING)
You didn't listen to me
after I warned you!
Don't worry, nobody
watches this stupid show.
Hmm, what's that ominous
glow in the distance?
(CLAMORING)
MOB: (CHANTING)
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
Marge, look, those idiots
don't even know where we live.
-MOB: Kill! Kill! Kill!
-D'oh!
MOB: (CHANTING)
We want Homer! We want Homer!
You monster! You monster!
Uh, did you see the news?
Honey, come on,
we have bigger problems.
But I'm so angry.
You're a woman.
You can hold on to it forever.
(SNIFFLES)
Okay.
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
Homer, you have to go out there,
face that mob
and apologize for what you did.
I would, but I'm afraid if I
open the door, they'll take all of you.
CARL: No, we won't.
We just want Homer!
Well, maybe not you,
but they'll kill Grandpa.
GRAMPA: I'm part of the mob!
Teeny, take out the baby!
(SCREECHES)
(SQUEALING)
(CLAMORING)
(SWEET, ROMANTIC
THEME PLAYING)
(GASPS)
Here, let me get that for you.
(DISAPPOINTED SIGH)
(RATTLING)
Stay back. I got a chain saw!
(IMITATES CHAIN SAW REVVING)
(SLOWLY, WEAKLY MAKING
CHAIN SAW SOUNDS)
Uh-oh.
(MOB SHOUTING)
Bart! Crawl across, hurry!
But if they see you
trying to help us, they'll kill you.
Oh, pshaw! I'm sure your
father would do the same for...
Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.
Archers!
I'm using a red arrow,
so I know who I kill.
(GRUNTING)
No, Plopper.
If you push that, daddy will die.
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
Hey, my luck's beginning to turn.
Wait! There's something I have to get.
(GASPS) Ooh!
(GRUNTS)
-What'd you get?
-Our wedding video.
-We have a wedding video?
-KRUSTY: Torch his gas tank!
We lost 'em.
Yahoo!
(HOMER LAUGHING)
Ooh! Up here!
Get 'em! Get 'em!
HOMER: Little help?
(HOMER HOWLS)
You know, the word "apology"...
is tossed around a lot these days,
but when it comes from in here...
D'oh!
(HOMER SCREAMS)
Mom, what are we gonna do?
Maggie, not now.
We'll play later.
(GASPS)
The sinkhole. Follow me, kids.
BART: Geronimo!
LISA: Sacajawea!
So long, losers.
(THUD)
Uh-oh.
The top of his head
is still showing. Claw at it!
(HOMER SHRIEKING)
NELSON: Ha-ha!
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
(CAR ALARM WAILING)
(DEEP RUMBLING)
(CROWD SCREAMING)
(CLOCK CHIMING)
(CUCKOOS)
Well, they're China's problem now.
(KNOCKING)
Colin!
(NO AUDIO)
I can't hear you!
(MARKER SQUEAKING)
Oh!
♪ Da, da-da, da-da, da, da... ♪
I never thought my life would have an
absolutely perfect moment, but this...
(SINGSONGY) Lisa's got a
boyfriend that she'll never see again!
(GRUNTS)
Perfect.
(SIRENS WAILING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
-What do we do?
-Now we run.
I'm afraid we lost them, sir.
Damn it.
Well, then you find them and
you get them back in the dome.
And to make sure nobody else gets out,
I want roving death squads
around the perimeter 24/7.
I want 10,000 tough guys,
and I want 10,000 soft guys
to make the tough guys look tougher.
And here's how I want them arranged:
Tough, tough, soft, tough, soft,
soft, tough, tough,
soft, soft, tough, soft.
Sir, I'm afraid you've
gone mad with power.
Of course I have. Did you ever
try going mad without power?
It's boring. No one listens to you.
Whew!
(SIREN WAILS)
(GASPS)
-(GROANING PASSIONATELY)
-(SMOOCHING)
Oh!
(SUCKS PACIFIER)
(HELICOPTER BLADE WHIRRING)
-Bart, are you drinking whiskey?
-I'm troubled.
-Bart.
-I promise I'll stop tomorrow.
You'll stop right now.
You come back here, little man.
(GROANS)
(DRUNKENLY)
I miss Flanders. There, I said it!
-Where's your father?
-He went out.
Let's quickly rebuild
our lives while he's gone.
HOMER: Hey, guys?
What's the secret knock again?
Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.
It's huge! We're homeless!
Our friends wanna kill us!
Before we can even stay
in the same room with you,
I need to know what
was going through your mind
when you didn't listen to me
and dumped that silo in the lake.
-(CLUELESS WHIMPER)
-Homer!
I don't know what to tell you, Marge.
I don't think about things.
I respect people who do,
but I just try to make the days not hurt
until I get to crawl in next to you again.
(SWEETLY) Oh...
(STERNLY) I mean, oh.
Look, I'm really sorry.
But I'm more than just sorry.
I'm prepared with a solution.
I've always been afraid
I'd screw up our lives so badly
that we'd need a backup plan.
And that plan is right here. (CHUCKLES)
No...
Nope.
Bingo.
Bear with me.
Ta... da!
(ANGELIC CHORUS SINGING)
Alaska?
Alaska. A place where you
can't be too fat or too drunk.
Where no one says things like:
"Let's see your high school
equivalency certificate."
Oh, I don't know, Homie.
Oh, I'm not saying it right.
Look, the thing is,
I can't start a new life alone.
And I've really come to like you guys.
I just don't see it.
Marge, in every marriage,
you get one chance to say:
"I need you to do this with me."
And there's only one answer
when somebody says that.
Okay, Homie. I'm with you.
Thank you, my sweetheart.
-BART: Mom?
-Yes, honey?
You just bought another load of crap
from the world's fattest
fertilizer salesman.
You'll pay for ruining
this golden family moment!
Homer!
How are we supposed to get
to Alaska without any money?
All right, son, if you don't
believe in me, believe in America.
America, where any man can make
quick money with no questions asked.
Step right up and win my truck.
All you have to do is conquer
the Ball of Death.
-What's the catch?
-No catch.
Just ride the motorcycle
all the way around just one time.
Three tries for $10.
Marge, how much money do we have?
-Ten dollars.
-Whoo-hoo!
That counts as a try.
(ENGINE REVVING)
HOMER: Ow! 
BARKER: That's two.
(ENGINE REVS)
HOMER: Ow!
BARKER: And that's three.
Tell you what I'm going to do, just
'cause I like seeing you hurt yourself:
I'll give you one on the house.
-You're the best.
-LISA: Dad!
When you get to the top,
don't slow down, speed up!
-But that's when it's the scariest!
-Just do it!
Ooh! Oh!
Whoo-hoo!
(CROWD CHEERING
AND WHISTLING)
BART: Yes!
LISA: Yay, Dad!
I'll take that truck now.
Oh, man. My wives are gonna kill me.
HOMER: Next stop, Alaska!
Day 37 under the dome.
We are facing intermittent
power failures which...
Okay, very funny. Now, I'm
going to turn the lights off again.
When they come back on, I want
all my booze back the way it was.
Yeah, okay. Okay.
I'm very proud of you, Bart.
Over 24 hours sober.
-You are, aren't you?
-I'll prove it.
(MOANING WITH PLEASURE)
Look, we're giving
your father another chance,
and we owe it to him to... (GASPS)
-Oh, my God.
-Can I help you?
Uh.. Uh, we need diapers.
-Okay.
-No, no, we don't. We don't.
-Ladies' razorblades.
-Right.
No, no, no, we don't.
I forgot, we're European.
(MARGE GIGGLING)
-Uh-huh.
-Just give us beef jerky.
Lots and lots of beef jerky.
That's right. That's what we need.
That's all we came in for.
Sure.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, my God,
there they... There they are!
(SUCKS PACIFIER)
(BART LAUGHING)
(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
(ZAPPING AND CRACKLING)
So you want some of
my electricity, do you?
(SNICKERING)
Well, for once,
the rich white man is in control.
I have two buttons behind this desk.
One will supply your town with power,
the other releases the hounds.
Reach me, make me your brother.
The hospital's generator
is about to give out.
Lives will be lost!
Lives... lost. Go on.
We got a convict we were going to
fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
Tempting... Tempting.
Look, all our reasons mean nothing.
Just look into your heart
and you'll find the answer.
(APU SCREAMING)
BURNS: First door on the right.
APU: Thank you.
-(ALL SCREAMING)
-(HOUNDS BARKING)
What? This isn't the way
I pictured Alaska at all!
Oh, that's better.
Homer!
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
Well, at least my poster didn't get torn.
(FINGERS SQUEAK
AGAINST GLASS)
(GASPING)
(GRAND ORCHESTRAL
THEME SWELLS)
Welcome to Alaska.
Here's a thousand dollars.
Well, it's about time, but why?
We pay every resident
a thousand dollars
to allow oil companies to
ravage our state's natural beauty.
I'm home.
Oh, thanks.
(LUSH ORCHESTRAL
THEME PLAYING)
What are you doing, Bart?
Eh, just passing the time.
(CLAP ECHOING)
(CLAP ECHOING)
(CLAPPING)
Aw. My boy loves Alaska
so much, he's applauding it.
-Lisa, why aren't you clapping?
-But, Dad...
Clap for Alaska.
(CLAPPING)
(DEEP RUMBLING)
Huh?
(HOMER SCREAMING)
(SNOW CRUNCHING)
Well, Marge, we're separated
from the kids by a wall of snow.
All my dreams are coming true.
(DISNEY-STYLE
ORCHESTRATION PLAYS)
(BIRDS SINGING)
(CHORUS VOCALIZING MELODY)
(FABRIC TEARING)
(BIRDS TWEETING)
(WHISTLES)
(SCREECHES)
(FABRIC TEARING)
(ORCHESTRATION CONTINUES)
Day 93 under the dome.
With necessities
growing dangerously low,
who knows what spark
will set off this powder keg.
Okay, let's discuss
Tuesdays with Morrie.
Again?
If we don't get a new book,
I'm going to puke.
You're the five people
I'm going to meet in hell!
-(GRUNTING)
-(GLASS BREAKING)
We're out of coffee!
(SCREAMING)
BARNEY: I can't take another
minute in this dome!
(YELLING)
(SHOUTING AND GRUNTING)
Y'ar! Y'ar!
Take that!
Oh, no! Blowback.
(SHOUTING)
(WHIRRING)
Look what they're doing to our dome.
(GRUNTING)
(TRUMPETING)
(CRACKING)
You know what that is, sir?
-A crack?
-Exactly.
First, let me state the problem.
People got out of the dome before,
they're going to get out again.
And when they do, there's going
to be hearings, investigations.
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
I'll have to go back to
making family comedies.
(SIGHS)
Don't worry,
I have a solution for you, sir.
In fact, I have five solutions.
You don't have to read them.
You'll have deniability.
I'll take care of it. You know nothing.
No. I need to know what I'm approving.
Absolutely. But on the other hand,
knowing things is overrated.
Anyone can pick something
when they know what it is.
It takes real leadership to pick
something you're clueless about.
Okay, I pick three.
-Try again.
-One.
-Go higher.
-Five?
-Too high.
-Three?
-You already said three.
-Six?
-There is no six.
-Two?
-Double it.
-Four!
As you wish, sir.
(HAPPY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
HANKS ON TV: Are you tired
of the same old Grand Canyon?
Here we are, kids, the Grand Canyon.
It's so old and boring.
I want a new one. Now!
Hello. I'm Tom Hanks.
The U.S. government
has lost its credibility...
so it's borrowing some of mine.
-Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks.
-Sure thing, son.
(HANKS LAUGHS)
Now, I'm pleased to tell you all
about the New Grand Canyon.
Coming this weekend. It's east of
Shelbyville and south of Capitol City.
That's where Springfield is!
It's nowhere near where
anything is or ever was.
This is Tom Hanks saying
if you're going to pick a government
to trust, why not this one?
Did you see that?
Yes, they're going to destroy Springfield.
But we're going to stop them.
Homie, get your clothes on. Homie?
I'm happy here. Screw Springfield.
(GASPING)
I can't believe you'd
say something so selfish.
Marge, those people chased us
with pitchforks and torches.
Torches! At 4:00 in the afternoon!
-It was 7:00 at night.
-It was during Access Hollywood.
-Which is on at 4:00 and 7:00.
-D'oh!
Dad, how can you turn your back
on everyone who loved us?
Flanders helped
when we were in trouble.
Who cares what Flanders did?
He's not your father.
I wish he was.
You don't mean that. You worship me.
Oh, yeah?
Look what I did to your picture.
-(GASPING)
-Look at it!
Howdilly-doodilly. Howdilly-doodilly.
-Howdilly-doodilly.
-HOMER: Why, you little...
(GRUNTING)
-I'll strangle-angle you.
-BART: Diddily, diddily.
Bart, stop it! Leave this to me.
Homer...
in every marriage you
get one chance to say
I need you to do this with me.
That is the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
Homer Simpson!
We're saving Springfield!
Listen to me, all of you. We are staying.
We have a great life in Alaska,
and we're never going
back to America again.
I have spoken! Hmm!
(WIND WHISTLING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING)
(HOMER CHUCKLING)
Well, I guess I've let her
worry about me long enough.
-(WHISTLING)
-(TRUCK HORN BLOWS)
Marge? Kids?
Huh?
(STATIC HISSING)
MARGE: Okay, here goes.
Homer...
I've always stood up for you.
When people point out your flaws,
I always say,
"Well, sometimes you have to
stand back to appreciate a work of art."
(LAUGHING)
Way back.
Lately, what's keeping us together
is my ability to overlook
everything you do.
And I overlook these things because...
Because?
Well, that's the thing.
I just don't know how to finish
that sentence anymore.
So I'm leaving with the kids
to help Springfield,
and we're never coming back.
And to prove to myself
that this is the end...
I taped this over our wedding video.
Good-bye, Homie.
(STATIC HISSES)
(WOMAN SINGING
ROMANTIC BALLAD)
I love you.
(SINGING CONTINUES)
-(SINGING CONTINUES)
-Marge? Kids?
(CRACKING)
(SINGING CONTINUES)
(SINGING FADES)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(ROARING)
(SHOUTING GIBBERISH)
(GRUNTING)
(YELPS)
Huh?
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
(SNIFFLING)
-So, Mom, what's our plan?
-What are you doing up there?
Looking through people's luggage.
(HIGH-PITCHED) I'm the
mascot of an evil corporation.
(LAUGHS)
Get down from there.
We have to keep a low profile
till we get to Seattle to tell the world
of the plot to destroy Springfield.
(WHISPERING) I don't know
if you guys should be talking so loud.
Oh, Lisa, it's not like the government
is listening to everybody's conversation.
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
(BEEPING)
(CONVERSATIONS OVERLAPPING)
WOMAN: Hi. I'm calling
about our Meat Lover's Pizza.
I like meat, but I don't know
if I'm ready to love again.
WOMAN 2: You hang up first.
MAN: No, you hang up first.
WOMAN 2: Okay.
(DIAL TONE HUMS)
MAN: She hung up on me!
LISA: But we're fugitives. We should
just lay low till we get to Seattle.
Hey, everybody! I found one!
The government actually found
someone we're looking for!
Yeah, baby! Yeah!
MEDICINE WOMAN: Homer Simpson,
do you know why you are here?
'Cause my family cares more about
other people than they do about me.
Drink this liquid.
(SCREAMING)
More, please.
Now we will cleanse your spirit
by the ancient Inuit art of throat singing.
Throat singing?
(GUTTURAL CHANTING)
(BOTH CHANTING)
How long are we doing this?
-Until you have an epiphany.
-Okay.
(CHANTING)
What's an epiphany?
Sudden realization of great truth.
Okay.
(CHANTING)
(MUSIC PLAYS)
CHORUS: ♪ Spider Pig, Spider Pig
♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
-(RUMBLING)
-♪ Look out!
♪ He's a Spider Pig ♪
Unless you have an epiphany,
you will spend the remainder
of your days alone.
(BELL TOLLS)
Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany. Ooh!
Bananas are an excellent
source of potassium.
(GRUNTS)
Americans will never embrace soccer?
More than two shakes
and it's playing with yourself?
Hey, what are you doing?
Oh, do whatever you want to me.
I don't care about myself anymore.
MEDICINE WOMAN: Because?
(GASPS)
Because other people
are just as important as me.
Without them, I'm nothing.
In order to save myself...
I have to save Springfield!
That's it! Isn't it?
-(THE SIMPSONS THEME PLAYING)
-(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
(CHANTING)
That was the most
incredible experience of my life.
And now to find my family,
save my town and drop ten pounds.
Thank you, boob lady.
This is it, kids. Seattle.
(GASPING) Russ Cargill!
Do you think he saw us?
Yes, I did.
(DOGS BARKING)
Run! Run! Run! Run!
Run! Run!
Jump! Jump!
Land! Land!
Rest! Rest!
Run! Run!
Now, I know we've had a rough day,
but I'm sure we can put
all that behind us and just...
(GROWLING, SCREAMING)
Ow! Ow! That's my whipping arm!
(BARKING)
Why does everything I whip leave me?
-(WIND WHISTLING)
-Must keep going.
Must keep going.
(WHIMPERING)
No, I can't. I can't keep going.
Yes, you can.
No, I can't.
Oh, shut up.
You shut up.
No, you. No, you.
No, you. Oh, real mature.
How could you say that?
Oh, what's the point?
It's hopeless.
Don't give up, Homer.
You are closer than you think.
But which way do I go?
Much obliged.
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
(MEN SHOUTING IN DISTANCE)
Ten-hut!
(SAXOPHONE PLAYING)
Lisa, knock off that racket!
(GASPS) Lisa!
(PLAYING BLUESY TUNE)
They captured my family.
What do I do? What do I do?
(TIRES SCREECHING)
There's something strange
about that "sop" sign.
(ENGINE ROARING)
(SOFTLY CLINKS)
-(GASPS) Did you hear something?
-Probably just a moth.
I hope it's okay.
HOMER: (SCREAMING) Oh!
(GRUNTS)
Oh!
D'oh!
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Look, look, look, look, look.
We can't keep stopping at every
"sop," "yeld", or "one vay" sign.
Just move on.
(GRUNTING)
Let us out! Let us out!
Stop that. You'll scratch your shackles.
I hope I do.
(GRUNTING)
(HISSING)
LISA: Oh, way to go, Bart.
You stink.
No, you stink.
(MOANING)
(GRUNTS)
Ow. (GROANS)
(BIRD CAWS)
(DOG HOWLS IN DISTANCE)
MARGE: (GASPS) Springfield.
I can't believe it, but it got even crappier.
Oh, man.
(MUTTERING)
(CLANKING)
Oh, hiya, Midge.
Moe, what happened?
With the town sealed off
from the rest of the world,
things got a little nutty here.
Why are you dressed like that?
Well, I don't like to brag, but
I am now the emperor of Springfield.
BARNEY: No, you're not!
Yes, I am!
(EXPLOSION)
BARNEY: Okay. Hail, emperor.
CARGILL: Attention, Springfield.
Your government realized
that putting you inside this dome
was a terrible mistake.
Therefore, we're commencing
with Operation Soaring Eagle.
-(CHEERING)
-Which involves killing you all.
(GROANING)
(WHIRRING)
As I speak, we're lowering a small
but powerful bomb into your midst.
(BEEPING)
(SCREAMING)
Despite everything, I miss your father.
Me too.
His big fat ass could shield us all.
HOMER: Ten-hut!
At ease. I'm General Marriott Suites,
and I have an urgent
note from the president.
It says to release
this town immediately.
Why is it written on a leaf?
(GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLES)
(HANDS SQUEAKING)
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
Perfect.
Now Homer Simpson's going
to show he has cojones! Oops.
(GRUNTING)
(YELLS)
(GRUNTING AND CRYING GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING) D'oh!
(WHIMPERING) D'oh!
D'oh! D'oh!
Mom, I've gotta go find Colin.
Not now, sweetie.
Doomsday is family time.
-(GLASS SQUEAKING)
-HOMER: Oh! Oh!
-(BEEPING)
-(HARMONCIA PLAYING BLUES)
Hey. If one of us distracts Cargill,
the rest of us can climb up that thing.
Who'd be dumb enough to stay behind
while we escape with our lives?
(CLEARS THROAT) My time to shine.
Hey! Mr. Big TV Man, look-a here.
What do you want?
Um... Look what
I can do with my thumb.
You wanna know how I do it?
Four generations of inbreeding?
Oh...
(GRUNTING)
(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
(GRUNTING)
(SHOES SQUEAKING)
I can smell fresh air.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
I can hear birds.
I taste freedom.
HOMER: Excuse me! Watch out!
Coming through!
(HOMER YELLING)
(LOUD THUD)
(BEEPING)
(GROANS QUIETY)
I was tricked by an idiot!
Hey, I know how you feel. I was
beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken.
Goodbye.
(STAMMERS)
Homer do good?
Actually, you doomed us all. Again.
Nice knowing you, Homer.
HOMER: But I...
(CRYING) Oh...
I can't do anything right. (GRUNTS)
(RAPID BEEPS)
-(STEADY BEEPING RESUMES)
-Get out of here!
-(PEOPLE JEERING)
-(HOMER WHIMPERING)
I've spent my entire life doing
nothing but collecting comic books,
and now there's only time to say...
Life well spent!
Okay, boys, when you meet Jesus,
be sure to call him Mr. Christ.
Will Buddha be there too?
-No.
-(DOOR CREAKS)
-Hey, Flanders.
-Bart.
How good to see ya.
And how terrible you're here.
Thanks.
Listen. I was just wondering if...
before I died,
I could pretend I had a father who...
cared for me.
Come here, son.
There's always room
for one more in the Flanders clan.
(QUIET HISSING)
(BEEP)
Come on, bomb-disarming robot.
You're our last hope.
ROBOT: Red wire. Blue wire.
Black is usually the ground.
-(GROANS) Uh, so much pressure.
-(METAL RATTLING)
Pressure!
(GUNSHOT)
He'd been talking about it,
but I didn't take him seriously.
Marge.
Marge! Marge!
-(SMACK)
-(THUD)
Oh, no, the epipha-tree!
Hey, I tried my best.
What am I supposed to do?
(WIND RUSHES)
But how am I supposed to get up there?
(HEAVENLY MSUIC PLAYS)
Oh...
Here, buy yourself something nice.
Homer? What the hell
are you doing now?
HOMER: Risking my life
to save people I hate
for reasons I don't
quite understand. Got to go!
First, one stop.
(BEEP)
(TIRES SQUEALING)
Bart? Son?
You think you could find it in your heart
to give your foolish old man
one more chance?
(MUMBLING) Oh, I don't know...
It seems to me, son,
that your father's saying that
he wants to spend
his last minute with you.
No! I can't do it.
I want a father who's the same
in the morning as he is at night. Oh...
What's that word?
BOTH: Consistency.
Thanks, losers.
Sorry, Homer.
I'll let you hold the bomb.
-(BEEPING)
-The man knows me.
(BART LAUGHING)
I wish Homer was my father.
And I wish you didn't have
the devil's curly hair.
(CRYING)
I've been taking your crap all my life!
(GRUNTING)
Whew! This feels good.
No wonder you do it.
(GRUNTING)
(ENGINE ROARING)
Okay, Bart, you've only got one shot
to throw that bomb through the hole.
Dad, in case I miss,
I'm sorry I said
I wish you weren't my father.
I don't blame you, son.
I wasn't much of a father.
Maybe it starts with the way
my dad raised me.
Yes. It's clear to me. It's just been
one long, unbroken cycle of...
Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!
(ENGINE REVS)
(GASPS)
(HOMER SCREAMING)
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
HOMER: D'oh!
(WATER BURBLING)
What? What's going on?
(WILD CHEERING)
(THUMPING)
(ANXIOUS STAMMERING)
(RELIEVED SIGHS)
(LOUD EXPLOSION)
(HIGH-PITCHED WHOOSH)
HOMER: We did it, boy!
Uh, Dad?
-(CRACKING)
-(HOMER YELPS)
(CRACKING CONTINUES)
(BOTH YELLING)
(YELLS)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(DISTANT SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING LOUDLY)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(HOMER CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(YELPS)
(GRUNTS)
BOTH: Whoo-hoo!
-(EXPLOSION)
-(SHATTERING)
(EXCITED CHATTER)
Magnificent!
It's amazing no one was hurt!
(LOUD THUD)
Bye, everybody.
(DYING GROAN)
(WIND WHISTLING)
Now, that was a
great father-son activity.
CARGILL: Hello, Homer.
So we meet at last, whoever you are.
There's a couple of things they don't
teach you at Harvard Business School.
One is how to cope with defeat,
and how to handle a shotgun.
I'm going to do both right now.
Wait! If you kill my dad,
you'll never know
where the treasure is buried.
What treasure?
The Treasure of Ima Wiener.
I'm a wiener?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
-Classic.
-Well, always leave them laughing.
(CHUCKLES) Goodbye, sir.
(THUMP)
Maggie! What a great little
accident you turned out to be.
(SUCKING)
Colin? Colin!
Lisa? Colin's dead.
(GASPS)
But his last words were,
(IRISH ACCENT) "Milhouse,
take care of Lisa. Hold her hand."
Uh... I got her all warmed up for you.
Colin! Whoo! Hi.
-Hey, you wanna go...
-Clean up the lake!
Well, I was gonna say
"get some ice cream," but okay.
(LAUGHS) Oh, I like ice cream.
Kind of sweaty. Sorry.
(LOUD CHEERING)
(GASPS) Boy, you survived! How?
(BARKING)
I love you, too.
(CHEERING AND WHISTLING)
Best kiss of my life.
Best kiss of your life so far.
(ELECTRIC SAW WHIRRING)
HOMER: Steady.
Steady.
Steady.
Uh, Dad?
Thanks, boy.
Steady.
(GRUNTS)
Whoo-hoo!
-Waah!
-(BART LAUGHING)
(LOUD THUD)
(ROCK VERSION OF THE 
SIMPSONS THEME PLAYING)
SMITHERS:
They've taken everything, sir.
Smithers, I don't believe in suicide,
but if you'd like to try it,
it might cheer me up to watch.
(ROCK BAND
SHOUTING RHYTHMICALLY)
(ROCK BAND VOCALIZING)
(SONG ENDS)
This is Tom Hanks saying,
If you see me in person,
please, leave me be.
(CHORUS SINGING)
♪ Spider Pig, Spider Pig
♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
♪ Can he swing from a web?
♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
♪ Look out!
♪ He is a Spider Pig
♪ Look out!
♪ He is a Spider Pig
(SONG FADES OUT)
Come on, Dad, let's go.
I've been holding it since
they put the dome over the town.
You can wait. A lot of people
worked really hard on this film,
and all they ask is for you
to memorize their names.
Well, I want to make sure
no animals were harmed
during the filming of this movie.
LISA: Phew!
HOMER: Okay.
-(CRUNCH)
-Ooh, floor popcorn!
-(CHOMPING)
-CRUNCHING)
Wait, wait, wait! It looks like
Maggie has something to say.
Oh, my God, her first word!
Sequel?
MAN: (TO "LA MARSEILLAISE") ♪ Springfield doesn't have an anthem
(OTHERS JOIN IN) ♪ We thought we had one, but we don't
(MORE JOIN IN) ♪ We paid a short guy to write it
♪ But we never saw him again
♪ The tune we stole from the French
♪ There's a few things they do well
♪ Like making love, wine and cheese
♪ Like Roqueforts, Camemberts and Bries
♪ Springfield
♪ We're going to die
♪ Springfield
♪ I'm scared to die ♪
Assistant manager
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Four years of film school for this?

Olaf's Frozen Adventure & Tinker Bell's NeverEnding Beyond movie storybook

Disney Olaf's Frozen Adventure: Big Golden Book (October 10, 2017)
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Tinker Bell (Mae Whitman, 29) was in the middle of another exciting adventure. She had made her way to the top of a thundering pirate ship, where she battled the villainous Captain Ro (Rosetta) (Megan Hilty, 36). But Tink wasn't alone–her sister Periwinkle (Lucy Hale, 28) and Blaze the firefly were flying nearby, ready to help. Still, all might have been lost without the swooping strength of Captain Zarina (Christina Hendricks, 42)! But the fight wasn't over. Ro and the evil Dr. Hurricane struck back–attacking with their force-field fast-flying fairy and a pack of Aliens (Jeff Pidgeon, 52). By working together, the unstoppable Tinker Bell and Captain Zarina saved at last!
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When Wendy (Eleanor Worthington Cox, 16) was young, her fairies had enjoyed exciting adventures every day. Wendy's imagination could take them anywhere–Never Land, Pixie Hollow, the mainland, the future, and the past. Wendy loved her fairies. And Tink, Zarina, Peri, Iridessa (Raven-Symoné, 31), Silvermist (Lucy Liu, 48), Vidia (Pamela Adlon, 51), and the rest of the fairy gang loved her right back. For the fairies, being played with–and being loved–by a kid was the best feeling in the whole world.
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Scrat (Chris Wedge, 60), the saber-toothed squirrel, zoomed through space on a spaceship. His ship was out of control. It smashed into an asteroid, sending the asteroid hurtling right toward Earth!
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The years went by. Wendy (Sarah Bolger, 26) grew up into a teenager and played with her fairies less and less. Feeling neglected, Tinker Bell and the fairies finally came up with a plan to get Wendy's attention. First, Queen Clarion (Anjelica Huston, 66) and the seasons' ministers crept through the nursery and nabbed Wendy's cell phone. Then they hauled it back to the fairy hideout. Once the cell phone was hidden inside, Periwinkle turned to a nearby cordless phone. She began pressing numbers as the others gathered around nervously.
The cell phone started ringing. Suddenly, Wendy's footsteps pounded up the stairs as she approached the fairy hideout. The fairies held still as she reached inside and pulled out her phone. "Hello...?" Anyone there?" Wendy asked. But no one answered. The fairies held their breath. Would she play with them? "Victoria, stay out of my room!" Wendy shouted to her little sister (Eleanor Worthington Cox, 16). Then she rolled her eyes and closed the lid on her old friends.
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Olaf (Josh Gad, 36) burst out of a kransekake. Pieces of cake fell every which way. "Surprise!" he shouted. "Olaf, not yet!" said Anna (Kristen Bell, 37). Elsa (Idina Menzel, 46) smiled. "The surprise holiday party starts after the Yule Bell rings." It was Arendelle's first holiday season in forever, and the two sisters would be spending it with the people of their kingdom.
Down on Earth, Manny (Ray Romano, 59) and her daughter, Peaches (Keke Palmer, 24) were playing hockey on the ice with a turtle shell. Crash (Seann William Scott, 41) and Eddie (Josh Peck, 31) watched. "She dominates again!" she exclaimed as she scored. Julian (Adam DeVine, 34), Peaches' fiancé, gives Ellie (Queen Latifah, 47) some flowers, which Manny is annoyed with. "And for you, I give the greatest gift of all." Julian said, giving Manny a bear hug.
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The castle courtyard was filled with festive townspeople. Excitement grew as Kristoff (Jonathan Groff, 32) and Sven brought in the Yule Bell. "The Yule Bell signals the start of the holidays in Arendelle," Elsa told Olaf. "Okay...now," Anna whispered. The bell rang out, and all the villagers cheered. Bong! Bong! Bong!
"Surprise!" Olaf shouted to the crowd. And with that, Elsa and Anna flung open the castle doors to invite everyone in. But instead of staying for the surprise party, the townspeople began to leave!
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"Wait!" Anna said. "Going so soon?" "The Yule Bell rang," replied one woman, "so I must get home for my family's tradition: rolling the lefse!" "Our tradition is putting out porridge for the tomte," added a man. "We're baking traditional bordstabelbakkels!" two sister exclaimed.
Elsa invited a couple named Mr. and Mrs. Olsen to the castle, but they shook their heads. "Thank you," said Mr. Olsen, "but Olga and I need to get home to knit socks for our grandchildren." He smiled. "And we wouldn't want to intrude on your family traditions."
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After Wendy was gone, the fairies spilled out of the toy box, feeling disappointed. In a few days, Wendy would go to the academy school. That meant playtime was over–maybe forever. Then Zarina noticed Queen Clarion preparing to parachute out the window. "What are you doing?" Zarina asked. "When the trash bags come out, we ministers are the first to go." Lord Milori (Timothy Dalton, 71 or 73) replied.
Trash bags? The other fairies started squeaking and shouting, terrified at the idea of being thrown out. "Hold on!" shouted Tinker Bell. She reminded them that through the years, Wendy had always kept them. "She must care about us, or we wouldn't still be here," Tink reasoned. They'd just be put into the attic, where they could all be together. "I'd better find my other eye," said Fawn (Ginnifer Goodwin, 39). She sighed as the fairies all gathered their parts together and got ready for the attic.
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Sid (John Leguizamo, 53) is practicing a proposal for another sloth named Francine (Melissa Rauch, 37), who thinks the date was fourteen minutes. "You look nothing like your profile picture!" she said, leaving Sid alone with his mariachi band, who got poisoned by a ivy leaf.
Manny asks his friend Diego (Denis Leary, 60) over Ellie having been acting weird and if his wife Shira (Jennifer Lopez, 48) ever giggle. "She's not a big giggler." said Diego, watching Shira chasing a gazelle.
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With the villagers gone, the sisters needed some cheering up. Kristoff serenaded them with "The Ballad of Flemingrad," a traditional holiday song he had learned from the trolls. But it took a strange turn when he started singing about nostrils. Then Kristoff revealed another odd troll tradition: Flemmy the Fungus Troll! "Now you lick his forehead and make a wish!" Kristoff said. "Whoa, gross," said Anna. Everyone laughed.
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Just then, the fairies heard someone coming. They scrambled back into the fairy hideout as Wendy came into the room. His mother, Mrs. Darling (Grey DeLisle, 44) followed–carrying trash bags! She reminded Wendy that she needed to begin sorting her things. She also told Victoria to donate some of her toys to the Joyland Daycare center. Turning to Wendy, she asked if she wanted to donate her old fairies as well. Wendy shook her head. "No one's going to want those old fairies," she told her. "They're junk."
Inside the fairy hideout, the fairies felt hurt. Did Wendy really think they were junk? They were even more upset when Wendy started scooping them up and dumping them into a trash bag! But when she picked up Tinker Bell and Zarina, she paused. They had always been her two favorites. She looked back and forth between them, then made her decision. Zarina went into the trash bag. Tink went into a box marked ACADEMY. Zarina couldn't believe this was happening!
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Tinker Bell couldn't believe it, either. As Wendy carried the bag away. Tink followed her into the hallway. Then Wendy pulled down the ladder to the attic. Whew! Everyone would be safe after all. But just as Wendy started up the ladder, Victoria called her. Wendy left the trash bag in the hall. When Mrs. Darling walked by moments later, she grabbed the bag and carried it out of the house. She was throwing Tink's friends away!
Mrs. Darling tossed the bag onto the sidewalk, by the garbage cans. The fairies began to panic. "There's got to be a way out!" shouted Zarina, looking around desperately. Finally, she had an idea: they could use Iridessa to tear through the bag. Everyone pushed Iridessa against the plastic as hard as they could, but they were running out of time. "I can hear the garbage truck!" Iridessa cried.
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Watching from the window, Tinker Bell was frantic! She grabbed a pair of scissors, climbed out the window, and raced to the pile of trash. She sliced open one bag after another. Where were her friends? Moments later, the garbage truck arrived. The neighborhood trash collector hurled all the bags into the truck. Then the truck rumbled off, leaving Tink sad and alone.
Just then, Tink noticed an upside-down recycling bin making its way across Wendy's driveway. Her friends had escaped! Inside the garage, the fairies were in an uproar. "Wendy threw us out!" exclaimed Vidia. "Like we were garbage!" added Silvermist. Luckily, Periwinkle had a plan. By the time Tink reached the garage, she and the other fairies were all climbing into the donation box for Joyland Daycare.
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Manny, Sid, and Diego find Ellie and all their other animal friends having organized a wedding anniversary party. Manny totally forgot, but fireworks went off in the sky and everyone thinks is Manny's gift to her. During the party, Julian lets it slip that he and Peaches will be moving away after their wedding, but Manny and Ellie thought the two of them would live near them as neighbors. "Aren't I the part of your family?" Julian asked. Manny told him that he is not yet.
Moments later, a meteor comes falling toward them all, followed by more of them. "Meteor shower!" cried one of the animals as they ran for cover. "I suppose this is all part of your magic show for me?" Ellie told Manny. The herd runs into a cave and took cover. "We might wanna think about moving underground for a while." Manny said, as the meteor shower cleared.
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Olaf followed the sisters into the ballroom. He couldn't wait to hear about their holiday tradition. "Do we have any traditions from when we were little, Elsa?" asked Anna. "After the gates were closed, we were never together," Elsa replied. "I'm sorry, Anna. It's my fault that we don't have a tradition." Olaf realized that everyone in Arendelle had a holiday tradition–except Anna and Elsa.
Tinker Bell tried to explain that Wendy didn't mean to throw them out. But the fairies weren't convinced. Then, suddenly, Mrs. Darling slammed the hatchback shut. As they drove to Joyland, Tink told her friends–even the poor Barbie doll (Jodi Benson, 56) that daycare was a sad, lonely place. "You'll be begging to go home," she warned. But when the car pulled up in front of Joyland, it didn't seem sad at all. The floating building looked cheerful, and children laughed and played outside. The fairies could hardly contain their excitement–maybe they would get played with again!
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The little snowman ran to the stables. "Sven! Anna and Elsa don't have a holiday tradition." Then he had an idea. "Let's go find the best tradition Anna and Elsa have ever seen and bring it back to the castle!" Olaf hooked Sven to Kristoff's sleigh, and the two immediately set out.
Manny and the rest of their herd learned about the approaching asteroid. If it hits the planet, their Ice Age home would be destroyed. Luckily, Buck (Simon Pegg, 47) the one-eyed weasel found a stone tablet that he thought could hold the answer to saving their home. "Every hundred million years or so, the world gets a cosmic cleansing," Buck told them. "The last two asteroids have pummeled the Earth in the same spot. We've got to go to the crash site and figure out how to send the asteroid somewhere else." Despite being scared, the others agreed that Buck's plan was worth a shot. And so, the herd started their march to find the site.
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Once inside the building, the fairies got so excited that they accidentally knocked the box over. A crowd of daycare toys swarmed around them. "Welcome to Joyland!" a big pink bear (Ned Beatty, 80) called warmly. "I'm Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear! But please, call me Lotso!" After everything they had been through that day, the fairies were happy to see a friendly face.
"Mr. Lotso,"asked Iridessa. "Do fairies here get played with every day?" "All day long. Five days a week," Lotso replied. "But what happens when the kids grow up?" Periwinkle wanted to know. "When the kids get old, new ones come in," Lotso told her. "You'll never be outgrown or neglected. Never abandoned or forgotten. No owners means no heartbreak." To the Never fairies, Joyland sounded like a dream come true!
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"Now let's get you all settled in," Lotso said. The friendly bear led everyone on a complete tour of the daycare center. During the tour, Barbie meets Ken (Greg Kinnear, 54) and instantly falls in love with him. By the time, they reached the Golden Chick Room, their new home, the Never fairies were amazed. Joyland seemed to have everything they needed!
But one fairy wasn't completely won over by Joyland. Tinker Bell reminded Zarina and the others that they were still the Never fairies. Joyland might be nice, but it wasn't home. "We can have a new life here, Tink," Periwinkle argued. "A chance to make kids happy again." "So this is it?" Tink asked. "After all we've been through?" No one answered, so Tinker Bell walked away–all by herself.
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Tinker Bell slipped out of the Golden Chick Room just as the janitor was passing by. Tink jumped onto the rolling trash can and hopped off at the bathroom. Then she climbed through a window and onto the roof. But how would she get over the tall wall that surrounded the daycare center? Luckily, Tink spotted an old kite on the roof. Holding it above her head, she leaped off the roof and soared over the wall! But instead of gliding down, Tink flew upward on a gust of wind!
Suddenly, the kite snapped, and the tinker fairy tumbled down into a tree. Her hair ribbon fell to the sidewalk, and she got caught on a branch, leaving her dangling above the ground. At that moment, a little girl named Bonnie (Alyvia Alyn Lind, 10) spotted her. She was just leaving the daycare center to go home. Bonnie reached up, stuffed Tinker Bell into her backpack, and climbed into her mom's (Jennifer Hale, 45) waiting car. Tink was glad to be rescued–but she still needed to get home to Wendy!
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The group of dino birds, Gavin (Nick Offerman, 47), Roger (Max Greenfield, 38), and Gertie (Stephanie Beatriz, 36) heard Buck's plan from the underground. Gavin thinks they can stop him from stopping the asteroid crash. "It's a good thing you got your mother's eyes, or you'd be totally useless." Gavin said to Roger. He spotted the herd with his great eyesight. Roger told Gavin if we can take out the weasel if the asteroid is just gonna take us out. Gavin agrees. "Now let's make sure that asteroid hits." Then they head off.
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During the long trek to the crash site, Buck looked around and picked up some meteor fragments he found on the ground. Then Crash and Eddie picked two of them up. "Hey, look! I found another one." Crash said, as they suddenly flew through the air, heading right at each other! KA-RASH!! The two possums smashed and attracted into each other. The rocks are magnets! "If these space rocks are magnetic, so is the mother of all asteroids." Buck said.
Buck brings Eddie and Crash inside his mind as the astronomer named Neil deBuck Weasel (Neil deGrasse Tyson, 59), along with Pythagorus Buck (Simon Pegg, 47) and Robo Buck (Simon Pegg, 47) explain the magnetic attraction of the rocks. If the herd figures that if they could launch enough of these magnetic rocks into space, they could propel the asteroid off course and save Earth.
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Olaf knocked on the door of the first house they came to. "What is your holiday tradition?" he asked a boy and his mother. "We male candy canes together." The boy handed one to Olaf. Olaf pulled out his carrot nose and popped in the candy cane. His eyes whirled. "Ohhh, sugar rush!" The boy stared at Olaf. "You're supposed to eat it." "Eat my new nose? Why would I do that?" asked Olaf. "Because it's that time of year!" the boy said.
Olaf and Sven stopped at home after home to learn about the villagers' holiday traditions. Then they loaded the sleigh with things to take back to Anna and Elsa.
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Back in the Golden Chick Room, the Never fairies waited eagerly as they heard the children approaching, Suddenly, a crowd of energetic toddlers burst into the room. The children grabbed the fairies, shrieking happily. But this playtime was not what the fairies expected. The toddlers tangled Vidia's hair, broke off Iridessa's shoe, and used Zarina as a hammer.
One of the toddlers threw Zarina into the air, and she landed beside a window that looked into the daycare center's other classroom. There, in the Golden Goose Room, Zarina saw a group of preschoolers playing gently with Lotso and other daycare toys. There must have been a mistake! Why weren't Zarina and her friends in the Golden Goose Room, too? That was where they should be–not in the chaos of the Golden Chick Room.
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Meanwhile, Tinker Bell was having a very different experience at Bonnie's nursery house. The little girl loved to play, and happily launched into an amazing game of make-believe, the best Tink had enjoyed in years! After Bonnie left the room, though, Tink quickly explained her situation to the other toys. Buttercup the unicorn (Jeff Garlin, 55) and Mr. Pricklepants the hedgehog (Timothy Dalton, 71 or 73) were very kind, but Tinker Bell still wanted to get home to Wendy.
The herd continues the journey but when Scrat used a spaceship to cause trouble on Earth, they wandered into an electrical storm! "I suggest we all stay away from the trees." Buck said. "Mother Nature sure is in a bad mood lately." Manny replied. The animals protect each other from the threat. After escaping the storm, Buck adopts the baby pumpkin as his own, naming her Bronwyn.
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Once the herd stopped for the night, Manny and Ellie try to get in the way of Peaches and Julian's plan to move away. Ellie sets Peaches up with some problems she and Julian could face as parents, with the help of Sid, Crash, and Eddie. The possums played as the children as Sid plays the rabid beast. Manny plays hockey with Julian, but the guy isn't very coordinated. "Looks like you got a new hockey partner to replace your dad!" Julian called to Peaches. Manny suddenly whacks him in the face with the puck–sending Julian into the icy water.
Peaches was mad that her fiancé got soaking wet and cold. "How could you do that to Julian?! I thought you liked him?" Manny and Ellie tried to explain but her daughter thinks that she sees Julian who tries hard to impress Manny. "If we survive, I'm still getting married and I'm still leaving home! Whether you're happy for me or not!" Peaches declared.
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Back at Joyland, the fairies were exhausted and sore. "These toddlers!" exclaimed Rosetta. "They don't know how to play with us!" Zarina decided to talk to Lotso about being moved to the big-kids' room. But the doors and windows were locked! Luckily, Zarina found one open window at the top of the door. She scrambled out to find the pink bear.
Zarina found Ken and Lotso's crew in the teachers' lounge, inside the top of a snack machine. "What do you guys think of the new recruits?" Zarina heard him ask. "Any keepers?" "All of them fairies are disposable." replied the bug warrior named Twitch (John Cygan, 63). "We'll be lucky if they last us a week!" Zarina was shocked. Lotso had put the Never fairies in the Golden Chick Room on purpose! Zarina whirled around, anxious to warn her friends–and ran right into the gigantic doll named Big Baby.
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As the herd rests for the night, Roger flies into the cave to get Buck, but he ends up taking Granny (Wanda Sykes, 53), Sid's grandmother instead. She isn't afraid of the dino birds, even when Gavin swallows her. "I can still see the light!" Granny exclaimed, dragging Gavin around, trying to get out. Luckily, Gertie helps Gavin cough up Granny.
Back in the Golden Chick Room, Fawn gasped suddenly. "I see Wendy!" she cried. But she wasn't seeing the daycare center. Fawn was seeing Wendy's nursery through the eye scope she had accidentally left there! Wendy seemed upset. "Wendy's looking for us! I think she did mean to put us in the attic!" Fawn said. The fairies realized that Tinker Bell had been right. They needed to go home to Wendy right away!
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Down the hall, Zarina demanded Ken to talk to Lotso. The pink bear was friendly at first. But when Zarina explained that she and her friends belonged in the Golden Goose Room, Lotso stopped being nice. "Those Golden Chick kids need someone to play with," he growled. He wanted the Never fairies to stay with the little kids so he wouldn't have to! Lotso strapped Zarina to a chair and prepared to switch the pirate fairy back to her original factory setting. "Nooooo!" Zarina yelled.
Not long after, Lotso entered the Golden Chick Room. Fawn and the Never fairies hurried over to explain that they had been donated by accident and needed to get home right away. "You ain't leavin' Joyland," Lotso snarled. Out of the shadows, Zarina appeared. For a moment, her friends were relieved. But then they noticed her blank stare. Suddenly, Zarina went into karate mode and knocked Periwinkle and the others to the ground. "Silence, pirates of Hook!" she shouted. "You're in the custody of the Seven Seas!"
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Lotso's gang herded the Never fairies into storage cubbies and trapped them inside. "We've got a way of doing things here at Joyland," Lotso explained. "Life here can be a dream come true. But if you break the rules..." The pink bear threw Tinker Bell's hair ribbon on the floor in front of them. Then he chuckled wickedly as he walked out. Zarina saluted Lotso, then turned and glared at her horrified prisoners. There would be no escapees on her watch.
Meanwhile, Tinker Bell had discovered that she was only a few blocks from Wendy's house! As she prepared to leave, Tink told Bonnie's toys that her friends were still at Joyland. "Joyland?!" an old clown toy named Chuckles (Jonathan Banks, 70) gasped. A long time ago, Chuckles, Lotso, and Big Baby had all belonged to a little girl named Daisy. Unfortunately, they were accidentally left behind during a trip. By the time they finally made their way home, Daisy owned a new Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear. Lotso told Big Baby that Daisy didn't love them anymore. The toys wandered aimlessly until they reached Joyland. But Lotso's heart had hardened. Since then, he had ruled Joyland with a furry iron paw. New fairies didn't stand a chance.
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Tinker Bell felt torn. Wendy was leaving for the academy the next day. And if Tink wasn't in the ACADEMY box, she might never see her best friend again. But she knew she couldn't leave Zarina, Periwinkle, and the others in Lotso's clutches!
At their last stop, Olaf found the entire Oaken (Chris Williams, 49) family celebrating in the sauna. Olaf thought this was a great tradition... so he added a portable sauna to the pile on the sleigh.
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After the herd noticed Granny is missing, they arrived at the crash site and were amazed by what they saw. Huge walls of shining, shimmering crystals rose all around them. The herd found Brooke (Jessie J, 29), a sloth with long blond hair, and Sid instantly falls in love with her. "Allow your spirit to roam free, in Geotopia!" exclaimed Brooke, as the herd rose through the gleaming crystal levels of Geotopia where they met the leader of Geotopia–the Shangri-Llama (Jesse Tyler Ferguson, 42). He was twisting himself into all kinds of yoga positions.
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Buck tried to explain that the asteroid in the sky is heading straight for Earth. "It must desire our magnetic crystals." replied the Shangri-Llama, as he began twisting himself into some yoga positions. "Did you know their power grants eternal youth? We are young, happy and safe, thanks to Geotopia." It was clear that he was not going to help the herd save Earth. They were doomed!
While Olaf and Sven were heading back to the castle, hot coals from the sauna caused problems. The sleigh caught fire! When it went over a cliff, Sven and Olaf landed on opposite sides of a ravine and all the holiday items they'd collected for Anna and Elsa were gone–except a fruitcake! Olaf was still hopeful. But Sven was worried. He could hear wolves howling in the dark forest.
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The next morning, Tinker Bell stowed away in Bonnie's backpack when she left for Joyland. After Bonnie hung up her backpack, Tink crawled out and sneaked over to the Golden Chick Room.
Tinker Bell's friends were overjoyed to see her. They handed her hair ribbon back to her with relieved smiles. "Oh, Tink." cried Periwinkle. "we were wrong to leave Wendy!" "From now on, we stick together," Tinker Bell replied. Everyone knew that Tink needed to get home quickly so she could go to the academy with Wendy. Luckily, Tink had a plan with the advice given by the Robo-Phone (Alan Tudyk, 46). She pointed out the window at the trash chute. That would be their escape route!
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That night, the fairies put their escape plan into action. Some of them distracted Zarina and Ken while Tinker Bell and Vidia snatched the daycare center's master key. Rosetta tossed her parts into the playground, where they attached themselves to a tortilla. In her new identity as Miss Tortilla, she watched for Lotso and his gang. Periwinkle unlocked the door and led the Never fairies out onto the playground, while Iridessa and Silvermist tried to reset Zarina.
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Suddenly, Zarina beeped–and began speaking Spanish (Penelope Cruz, 43)! Tinker Bell tried to hustle Zarina along, but when the pirate fairy saw Periwinkle, she dropped to her knees. "¡Mi florecita del desiero!" she declared romantically. "Did you fix Zarina?" asked Peri, confused. "Sort of," Tink replied.
Soon Miss Tortilla joined them as well. In no time, she was reunited with her old name Rosetta–and a very relieved Fawn. Together, the friends crept past Big Baby and across the playground, avoiding a spotlight that swept over the yard. Quickly, the group headed toward the trash chute.
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Back at the castle, Elsa found Anna in the attic. "What are you doing up here?" she asked. "Looking for traditions," said Anna. She had been pulling items out of a trunk filled with her childhood belongings.
"What's in your trunk?" asked Anna. "Mostly gloves," said Elsa. But as she reached into the trunk, she heard a ringing. She lifted out a small box with bells on top and handed it to Anna. When Anna opened it, she couldn't believe her eyes.
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After the twelve minute date with Brooke, Sid spotted a beautiful crystal in one of Geotopia's shiny walls. He could not resist it. He reached for it. "No, Sid, don't do that!" Brooke cried out. But Sid couldn't help himself. He pulled the crystal from the shiny wall. KA-RACK! BOOM! The wall began to crack, then it shattered into a million pieces. The Shangri-Llama went extremely nuts at Sid for destroying Geotopia as the residents grew older. "That wall was the one thing keeping us young!" he cried.
Everyone stared at the huge hole in the wall. In the distance, they saw a tall volcano rising to the sky. Steam and smoke drifted out of the top of the volcano. "That's it!" Buck cried. "Pent-up energy. Earth's most powerful propulsion device is right in front of us. The volcano! That's our magnet launcher." "That doesn't even make any sense." said Diego. "All we need to do is seal the steam vents around it." said Buck.
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"We need all the crystals loaded into the volcano." Buck explained. Everyone knew that if when the volcano erupts, the crystals will shoot into space–and their magnetic fields will pull the asteroid away from Earth! "I'm not giving you my crystals." the Shangri-Llama said. "We need them to rebuild our sanctuary."
"Geotopia is not yours to keep," said Brooke. "It came from the sky, and now it's time to give it back." Then Brooke turned to all the members of the herd and the creatures of Geotopia. "Come on, everybody!" she shouted. "Grab every crystal you can find."
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The herd and the Geotopians gathered up all the crystals they could carry. They marched in a long line to the volcano. Everyone threw what crystals they had into the volcano and its vents. Wherever steam came out, they pushed in a crystal to keep the steam trapped and build up pressure. Manny took a large net made out of vines and filled it with crystals. Then he and Julian started dragging the net up the side of the volcano.
One by one, a long line of Geotopia creatures rolled heavy crystals up the volcano. When each one reached the top, they pushed the crystals over the edge, into the opening. "This is it, friends. Down the hatch." said Brooke. "Every crystal counts!"
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Meanwhile, Buck figured out just how close to Earth the asteroid was at that moment. "Good news, everyone!" Buck announced. "We're six minutes ahead of schedule." The whole crowd cheered. Buck rechecked his calculations. "Bad news," he said. "We're six minutes behind schedule!" Manny pointed to a huge crystal near the base of the mountain. "Double time, everyone," he said. "We need that big crystal!"
Suddenly, the two sisters heard a kerfuffle outside. They ran down to the stables, where Sven was trying to tell Kristoff something. The girls knew immediately what he was trying to communicate. "Olaf is lost in the forest!" said Anna. "And being chased by hungry wolves!" said Elsa. The sisters had to gather everyone to search for Olaf right away.
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Tinker Bell slid down the chute, then called for her friends to follow. Soon they were all outside, perched above an open Dumpster. Vidia stretched herself across the Dumpster so that the fairies could climb across to safety. But suddenly, Lotso stepped into view. "You lost, little girlie?" he asked with a nasty grin. Lotso kicked Vidia's hands, almost knocking the fast-flying fairy into the trash below.
"Why don't you come back and join our family again?" Lotso asked the fairies. "You're a liar and a bully and I'd rather rot in this Dumpster than join any family of yours!" Periwinkle declared. Lotso glared at her. "I didn't throw you away," he replied. "Your kid did. There isn't one kid who ever loved a toy, really." "What about Daisy?" Tink demanded. "She lost you. By accident." She held up a pendant Chuckles had given her–long ago, it had belonged to Big Baby. It read: MY HEART BELONGS TO DAISY.
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"She never loved me!" Lotso shouted. "She left me!" Big Baby stepped toward the pendant and picked it up. His eyes filled with tears as he remembered Daisy. "Mama!" he cried sadly. Lotso shoved Big Baby. "You want your mommy back?" Furious, Big Baby picked Lotso up, threw him into the Dumpster, and shut the lid! Then, at last, Big Baby smiled. Lotso couldn't bully anyone anymore.
The fairies could hear a flying garbage truck approaching as they hurried across the Dumpster. Everyone made it–except for one Alien, whose foot got caught. Tinker Bell ran back to help, but Lotso reached up and grabbed her ankle! Periwinkle, Zarina, and the rest of the Never fairies tried to help. But just then, the garbage truck arrived. The Dumpster was lifted into the air, and everyone–including Lotso–tumbled into the back of the truck.
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Inside, Tinker Bell heard the truck starting to pick up another Dumpster. "Against the wall! Quick!" she shouted. Periwinkle was caught under some trash, so Zarina raced over to free her. She pushed her safety out of the path of falling garbage. Just then a TV dropped directly on top of Zarina! Quickly, her friends dug the pirate fairy out, hoping she was okay. In fact, she was better than okay. The bump had knocked Zarina out of Spanish mode–she was herself again!
Buck got a family of dino birds to help. "Reinforcements have arrived!" shouted Buck. Gavin, Roger, and Gertie grabbed the vine net. They flew up, lifting the heavy crystal toward the top of the volcano. Manny and Julian waited at the top. They watched as Buck guided the dino birds. In the opening, steaming lava bubbled up. The dino birds released the net. The giant crystal plunged toward the opening at the top of the volcano. But it fell short! The crystal began rolling down the side of the volcano. Manny and Julian ran and caught the rolling crystal. They began pushing it back up the volcano. "This isn't working!" said Manny.
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At the garbage dump, the truck dumped its load of trash. Dirty and frightened, the fairies struggled free. In the distance, they could see the silhouette of a huge crane. "The Claaaaw!" shouted the Aliens excitedly, toddling off toward it. Tinker Bell tried to stop them, but a bulldozer cut her off. The fairies were pushed along, caught in a churning tide of smelly garbage.
The fairies tumbled down onto a conveyor belt. Suddenly, a big magnet began pulling metal from the trash. Vidia was pulled up first–and she could see that her friends were heading toward a shredder! The rest of the fairies grabbed whatever metal they could find and were pulled up by the powerful magnet. Suddenly, a pink paw reached out from under a golf bag. "Help!" begged Lotso. Tinker Bell and Zarina pried the bag off with a golf club, then pointed the metal club upward. All three fairies were lifted into the air just in the nick of time.
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Julian had a plan. "We have to let the crystal go." Manny looked at Julian as if he were crazy. "You know we're trying to get it in the volcano, right?" asked Manny. "The only thing I want is a life with Peaches." said Julian. "Okay, let's do it!" said Manny. "On my count," said Julian. "One, two, three!" They let go of the crystal. It rolled down the side of the volcano, moving faster and faster. "What are they doing?" cried Shira, as she and other others looked on in disbelief.
When the speeding crystal reached the bottom, it rolled onto a curved section of the volcano. The speed of the rolling boulder and the curve of the volcano sent the crystal flying back up into the air. The crystal flew right to the top, then fell into the volcano. "Yes!" cried Manny. "I take back everything I ever said about you!" The volcano continued to rumble and steam, but it didn't erupt. Manny, Julian, and the others waited.
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Everyone cheered to see that Lotso was safe. "Thank you, Miss Bell," Lotso said humbly. "We're all in this together," replied Tinker Bell. Unfortunately, the new conveyor wasn't truly safe–it led to a flaming incinerator! Lotso spotted an emergency stop button, and the others boosted him up to reach it. Lotso was about to push the button. But as he looked at the other fairies, his expression hardened again. Instead of saving them, he ran away!
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Just then–BOOM! The volcano erupted, sending all the magnetic crystals into space. Up in space, the cluster of magnetic crystals pulled the asteroid off its course. It sped past Earth, zooming harmlessly off into space. From inside the his spaceship, Scrat watched his planet get saved.
Terrified, the fairies tumbled toward toward the fiery blaze. It looked as if there was no escape. They held each other's hands, together till the end. Suddenly, a giant crane came down. Its jaws opened, scooping them away from the inferno! As they soared through the air, the fairies could see the Aliens at the controls of the crane! "The Claaaaw!" the Aliens cried joyfully.
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Back at the volcano, everyone was shocked. They couldn't believe their eyes. "We did it!" cried Manny. They had saved their home! Julian had been welcomed into the herd. Then Manny turned to Buck. "And you, I'll never doubt you again." he said.
Anna and Elsa headed into the forest, calling Olaf's name. Kristoff and Sven were close behind with a search party of villagers. "Olaf, where are you?" cried a worried Anna. Just when they thought they'd never find him, the sisters spotted a carrot sticking out a snowdrift. Olaf! Olaf explained how he had collected traditional holiday items for the sisters but then lost them–even the fruitcake, which had been grabbed by a large bird.
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The Aliens set the fairies gently on the ground. "Come on, Tink," said Periwinkle. "We've got to get you home." Fortunately, their neighborhood garbage collector was just climbing into his truck. The fairies jumped aboard, eager to hitch a ride. Behind them, Lotso was going somewhere, too. A different truck driver had found him and happily tied the pink bear to the front grille of his garbage truck. "I had me one o' these when I was a kid!" the driver exclaimed.
"I'm sorry you still don't have a tradition," the little snowman said. "But, Olaf, we do," said Anna. "Look!" She opened the box with the bells on top and showed Olaf what was inside. The box was filled with sketches Anna had made of Olaf when she was a little girl! "You're the one who first brought Elsa and me together," said Anna. "And kept us connected when we were apart," added Elsa.
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"Every Christmas, I made Elsa a gift," Anna continued. "It was always an image of you." Elsa nodded. "And I saved every one of them." "All those long years alone, we had you to remind us of our childhood," Elsa said. "And how much we still loved each other," Anna agreed.
"It's you, Olaf! You are our holiday tradition," said Anna. "Surprise!" The sisters hugged the little snowman.
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Sid and Brooke say goodbye to each other. He gave each other drawings to remember one another. "You'll always be my one true love." said Brooke. Meanwhile, the crystal falls into the tub, making the Geotopia animals, including the Shangri-Llama, Brooke, and even Granny restore their eternal youth.
Tinker Bell and the gang arrived home at Bloomsbury as Wendy was loading up the car. They were just in time. After hosting themselves off in the yard, the fairies sneaked back into Wendy's nursery. As soon as they were inside, Fawn picked up her missing eye from under the bed. She was happy to be all together again!
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As the other fairies climbed into the box marked ATTIC, Tinker Bell and Zarina shook hands. After so many adventures together, the two friends couldn't believe they were parting. "This isn't goodbye," Tink said. Finally, Zarina turned to go. "You know where to find us, tinker fairy," she said, climbing into the ATTIC box with the rest of the fairies.
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While Wendy finished packing, Tinker Bell gazed at a photo of Wendy with her fairies. Then she watched as Wendy and Mrs. Darling said goodbye to each other. Tink realized that she and Wendy would always have memories of their time together, too–even the adventures in Pixie Hollow. No matter what happened, they'd never really lose each other. Suddenly, Tinker Bell knew what she had to do. She scribbled something on a sticky note, then stuck the note on the ATTIC box.
When Wendy returned, she was thrilled to see her fairies! She'd thought they were gone forever. Then she looked at the sticky note. "Hey, Mom," she called. "So you really think I should donate these?" "It's up to you, honey," she replied.
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At the wedding with Julian, Manny and Ellie finally accept that Peaches will be starting her own family soon. "I always knew it would it would take someone very special to match your spirit." said Ellie. "And whatever you decide to come back, we'll be here." replied Manny. After the ceremony, Sid reunited with Brooke who was young again. Then the herd finally knew where they belong!
Soon glowing lanterns emerged from the dark forest. The villagers were relieved to see that Olaf was safe. That was when Elsa had a brilliant idea.
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Because it was Anna and Elsa's first winter holiday together in forever, the celebration had to be extra special. With a little help from the villagers, they hosted their big party after all, right there in the forest!
Anna and Elsa had rediscovered their holiday tradition and started a new tradition for Arendelle. They would plan a forest party every year–thanks to Olaf!
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Wendy loaded the box into his car and drove to the address written on the sticky note. It was a small nursery house with a little girl playing out front. It was Bonnie's house! Wendy pulled her fairies from the box and introduced each one to Bonnie. And at the bottom of the box, there was Tinker Bell! Wendy was surprised–Tink was supposed to go to the academy with her. But Bonnie recognized Tinker Bell immediately. "My tinker!" she exclaimed. When Wendy saw how much Bonnie loved Tinker Bell, she decided to leave her favorite fairy with her, too. Then Wendy played with Bonnie and all her old fairies. After so many years, Tinker Bell, Zarina, and the others were finally getting what they wanted: one last playtime with Wendy.
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Back in the car, Wendy took a last look at Bonnie, surrounded by her fairies. "Bye, guys," she said quietly. Bonnie ran inside for lunch, leaving the fairies alone to watch Wendy drive away. "So long, partner," said Tinker Bell with a wave. Zarina put her arm around Tink. Yes, their life with Wendy and Pixie Hollow was ending. But their adventures with Bonnie had just begun.