Disney NeverEnding Chronicles (Spring 2018 Part 1) - Subtitles (en)

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March 2018

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I'm home.

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Fluffy? Here, kitty.

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(CLICKING)

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-(THUNDER RUMBLING)

-Milo James Thatch?

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Who... Who are you?

How did you get in here?

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I came down the chimney. Ho, ho, ho.

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My name is Helga Sinclair.

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I'm acting on behalf of my employer,

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who has a most intriguing

proposition for you.

_________________________________

Are you interested?

_________________________________

(STUTTERS)

You employer? (SCOFFS)

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Who is your employer?

_________________________________

(THUNDER CRASHING)

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This way, please.

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And don't drip on the Caravaggio.

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Step lively.

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Mr. Whitmore does not like

to be kept waiting.

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You will address him

as "Mr. Whitmore" or "sir."

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You will stand unless

asked to be seated.

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Keep your sentences short

and to the point.

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-Are we clear?

-(GULPS)

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And relax.

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He doesn't bite...often.

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Grandpa?

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Finest explorer I ever met. (SIGHS)

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Preston Whitmore.

Pleasure to meet you, Milo.

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

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Join me in a little yoga?

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No, no. Thank you.

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Did you really know my grandfather?

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Oh, yeah. Met old Thaddeus

back in Georgetown.

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Class of '66. We stayed close friends

till the end of his days.

_________________________________

Mmm... Even dragged me along

_________________________________

on some of his danged fool expeditions.

_________________________________

Thatch was crazy as a fruit bat, he was.

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He spoke of you often.

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Funny. He never mentioned you.

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Oh, he wouldn't.

He knew how much I like my privacy.

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Ah!

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I keep a low profile.

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Mr. Whitmore, should I be

wondering why I'm here?

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Look on that table.

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Ah!

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It's for you.

_________________________________

It's from my grandfather.

_________________________________

He brought that package

to me years ago.

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He said if anything

were to happen to him,

_________________________________

I should give it to you

when you were ready.

_________________________________

Whatever that means.

_________________________________

It...

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It can't be.

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It's The Shepherd's Journal.

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Mr. Whitmore, this journal is the key

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to finding the lost continent of Atlantis!

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Atlantis. (LAUGHS)

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I wasn't born yesterday, son.

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No, no, no. Look. Look at this.

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Coordinates. Clues. It's all right here.

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Yeah, looks like gibberish to me.

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That's because it's been written

in a dialect that no longer exists.

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-So it's useless.

-No, no, just difficult.

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I've spent my whole life

studying dead languages.

_________________________________

It's not gibberish to me.

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Ah, it's probably a fake.

_________________________________

Mr. Whitmore,

my grandfather would have known

_________________________________

if this were a fake. I would know.

_________________________________

I will stake everything I own,

everything that I believe in,

_________________________________

that this is

the genuine Shepherd's Journal.

_________________________________

All right, all right.

So, what do you want to do with it?

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Well, I'll get funding.

_________________________________

-I mean, I'll... The museum...

-They'll never believe you.

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I'll show them! I will make them believe.

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Like you did today?

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Yes! Well, no. How did you...

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Forget about them, okay? Never mind!

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I will find Atlantis on my own.

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I mean, if I have to rent a rowboat!

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Congratulations, Milo.

_________________________________

This is exactly what I wanted to hear.

_________________________________

But forget the rowboat, son.

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We'll travel in style.

_________________________________

It's all been arranged,

the whole ball of wax.

_________________________________

Why?

_________________________________

For years, your granddad bent my ear

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with stories about that old book.

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I didn't buy it for a minute.

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So, finally, I got fed up

and I made a bet with the old coot.

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I said, "Thatch, if you ever

actually find that so-called journal,

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"not only will I finance the expedition,

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"but I'll kiss you full on the mouth."

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Imagine my embarrassment

when he found the darn thing.

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Now, I know

your grandfather's gone, Milo.

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God rest his soul,

_________________________________

but Preston Whitmore

is a man who keeps his word.

_________________________________

You hear that, Thatch?

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I'm going to the afterlife

with a clear conscience, by thunder!

_________________________________

Ah! (CHUCKLES)

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(SIGHS)

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Your grandpa was a great man.

_________________________________

You probably don't realize how great.

_________________________________

Those buffoons at the museum

dragged him down,

_________________________________

made a laughing stock of him.

_________________________________

He died a broken man.

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If I could bring back

just one shred of proof,

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that'd be enough for me.

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Ah, Thatch.

_________________________________

What are we standing around for?

We got work to do.

_________________________________

But, Mr. Whitmore,

you know, in order to do

_________________________________

what you're proposing,

you're gonna need a crew.

_________________________________

Taken care of.

_________________________________

You'll need engineers and geologists.

_________________________________

Got 'em all. The best of the best.

_________________________________

Gaetan Moliere,

geology and excavation.

_________________________________

The man has a nose for dirt.

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Vincenzo Santorini, demolitions.

_________________________________

Busted him out of a Turkish prison.

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Audrey Ramirez.

Don't let her age fool you.

_________________________________

She's forgotten more about engines

that you and I will ever know.

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They're the same crew that

brought the Journal back.

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-Where was it?

-Iceland.

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I knew it! I knew it!

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All we need now is

an expert in gibberish.

_________________________________

So, it's decision time.

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You can build on

the foundation your grandfather left you

_________________________________

or you can go back to your boiler room.

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-This is for real.

-Now you're catching on.

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All right. Okay. I'll have to quit my job.

_________________________________

It's done. You resigned this afternoon.

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-I did?

-Yep. Don't like to leave loose ends.

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My apartment.

I'm gonna have to give notice.

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-Taken care of.

-My clothes?

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-Packed.

-My books?

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-In storage.

-My cat?

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(MEOWS)

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My gosh.

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Your granddad had a saying.

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"Our lives are remembered,

by the gifts we leave our children."

_________________________________

This journal is his gift to you, Milo.

_________________________________

Atlantis is waiting.

_________________________________

What do you say?

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I'm your man, Mr. Whitmore.

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You will not regret this.

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Boy, I am so excited,

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I can't even hold it in.
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(SIGHS)
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(COCKROACH SQUEAKING)
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(WIND GUSTS)
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Uh-oh.
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(RUMBLING)
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(GASPS)
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(WALL-E CHATTERING)
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(COCKROACH CHATTERING)
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EVE!
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EVE!
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EVE!
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(WALL-E YELLING)
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EVE!
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No!
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(CHATTERING)
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Whoa!
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(EXCLAIMS)
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(SQUEAKS)
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(YELPS)
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(EXCLAIMING IN ALARM)
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(RUMBLING)
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(ENGINES FIRING)
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EVE.

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(YELPS)
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Whoa!
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(WALL-E SCREAMING)
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(SQUEAKING)
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Oh! Uh-oh.

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(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY IN WONDER)
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Oh!
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EVE.

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(WALL-E SIGHS)

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(POWERING UP SOUND)
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(EXCLAIMS IN AWE)
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(IN WONDERMENT) Whoa!

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DOPPLER:

I just spoke with the constabulary.

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Those blaggard pirates

have fled without a trace.

_________________________________

I'm sorry, Sarah.

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I'm afraid the old Benbow Inn

has burned to the ground.

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Ahem. Well, certainly a lot of trouble

_________________________________

over that odd little sphere.

_________________________________

Those markings baffle me.

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Unlike anything I've ever encountered.

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Even with my vast experience

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-and superior intellect,

-(BEEPING AND WHIRRING)

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it would take me years

to unlock its... Hey!

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(GASPS)

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Why, it's a map!

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Wait. Wait, wait, wait!

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This is us, the planet Montressor.

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(GASPS)

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That's the Magellanic Cloud!

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Whoo! The Coral Galaxy!

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That's the Cygnus Cross,

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and that's the Kerian Abyss.

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Wait. What's this? What's this?

Why, it... It's...

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Treasure Planet.

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No!

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That's Treasure Planet!

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DOPPLER: Flint's trove?

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The loot of a thousand worlds?

_________________________________

You know what this means?

_________________________________

It means that all that treasure

is only a boat ride away.

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Whoever brings it back

would hold an eternal place

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atop the pantheon of explorers!

He'd be able to experience...

_________________________________

-(CLICK)

-Whoo! What just happened?

_________________________________

Mom, this is it. This is

the answer to all our problems.

_________________________________

Jim, there is absolutely no way...

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Don't you remember, all those stories?

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That's all they were. Stories!

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With that treasure,

_________________________________

we could rebuild the Benbow

a hundred times over!

_________________________________

Well, this is... It's just... Oh, my.

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Delbert, would you please

explain how ridiculous this is?

_________________________________

It's totally preposterous,

_________________________________

traversing the entire galaxy alone.

_________________________________

Now, at last, we hear some sense!

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-That's why I'm going with you.

-Delbert!

_________________________________

I'll use my savings

to finance the expedition.

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I'll commission a ship,

hire a captain and a crew.

_________________________________

You're not serious.

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All my life I've been waiting

for an opportunity like this,

_________________________________

and here it is screaming,

"Go, Delbert! Go, Delbert!"

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Okay. Okay! You're both grounded!

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(SIGHS)

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JIM: Mom, look,

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I know that

I keep messing everything up,

_________________________________

and I know

_________________________________

that I let you down.

_________________________________

But this is my chance

to make it up to you.

_________________________________

I'm gonna set things right.

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Sarah?

_________________________________

If I may?

_________________________________

You said yourself,

you've tried everything.

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There are much worse remedies

_________________________________

than a few character-building

months in space.

_________________________________

Are you saying this

because it's the right thing,

_________________________________

or because you really want to go?

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I really, really, really, really want to go,

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and it's the right thing.

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(SIGHS)

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Jim,

_________________________________

I don't want to lose you.

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Mom, you won't.

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I'll make you proud.

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DOPPLER: Well, uh, ahem...

_________________________________

There we are then.

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We'll begin preparations at once.

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Jim, my boy, soon we'll be

off to the spaceport.

_________________________________

(SQUAWKING)

_________________________________

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(WIND HOWLING)

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BERNARD: Miss Bianca,

I'm not sure it's a good idea

_________________________________

to fly this soon after eating!

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BIANCA: Darling, you'll be just fine!

_________________________________

But aren't you supposed

to wait 45 minutes?

_________________________________

Oh, just knock on the door

and see if Orville is there!

_________________________________

Nobody's home, let's go.

_________________________________

This is no time to play in the snow.

_________________________________

I wasn't playing in the snow.

It was an avalanche.

_________________________________

Look, Bernard!

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"Under new management, see Wilbur."

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(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS)

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Come on, darling. Let's get a move out!

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(MUSIC PLAYING)

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(SINGING ALONG)

I'm the cat's pajamas

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 Always run around

with crazy little mamas

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Whoo!

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Yoo-hoo! Mr. Wilbur!

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Get down there, son!

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Hello?

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Pick it, boy, pick it! Yeah!

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Whoo! Here we go! Let's walk!

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Whoo!

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Look out! Excuse me, sir.

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Do something! He can't hear us!

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WILBUR: Big time, big time!

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The girls all look when I go by...

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-(MUSIC STOPS)

-Who killed the music?

_________________________________

That's better.

_________________________________

Excuse us for interrupting.

We're from the Rescue Aid Society.

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I am Miss Bianca, and this is my...

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The Miss Bianca? I don't believe it.

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My brother, Orville, told me all about

you. Boy. This is an honor to have...

_________________________________

May I just say, "Enchanté. Señorita,"

to you? May I?

_________________________________

-(SMOOCHING)

-(CLEARS THROAT)

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We need to charter a flight.

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You've come to the right place,

buddy boy. Welcome to...

_________________________________

"Albatross Air.

A fair fare from here to there."

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) Get it? A fair fare?

It's a play on... Never mind.

_________________________________

I've got tons of exotic

destinations, faraway places,

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custom designed for

_________________________________

(IN ACCENT)

A romantic weekend getaway.

_________________________________

The finest in-flight accommodations.

_________________________________

Speaking of which, what can I get you?

_________________________________

How about a nice mango Maui cooler?

Very nice, very tasty.

_________________________________

No, thank you.

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A coconut, guava nectar?

It's carbonated.

_________________________________

I got little umbrellas for each one,

and a little coconut thing.

_________________________________

-It's urgent that we leave immediately!

-Nothing? Nothing at all?

_________________________________

-How about a cream soda?

-We need a flight to Australia.

_________________________________

Australia? The land down under?

_________________________________
That's a fabulous idea!

So when can I pencil you in?

_________________________________

After spring thaw?

Mid-June would be very nice.

_________________________________

We must leave tonight.

_________________________________

Tonight? (GASPING)

_________________________________

Come on, you're kidding me, right?

_________________________________

Have you looked outside?

It's suicide out there.

_________________________________

Oh, no. Oh, no.

_________________________________

I'm afraid your jolly little holiday

will have to wait.

_________________________________

What a bunch of jokers.

_________________________________

But you don't understand,

a boy needs our help. He's in trouble.

_________________________________

Boy? You mean, a little kid kinda boy?

_________________________________

He was kidnapped.

_________________________________

Kidnapped? Oh, that's awful.

_________________________________

Locking up a little kid.

_________________________________

A kid should be free.

_________________________________

Free to run wild through the house

on Saturday mornings.

_________________________________

Free to have cookies and milk,

and get those little white mustaches.

_________________________________

Nobody's gonna take

a kid's freedom away while I'm around.

_________________________________

Does that mean you'll take us?

_________________________________

Storm or no storm,

Albatross Airlines, at your service!

_________________________________

Passengers are requested

to fasten their seat belts

_________________________________

and secure all carry-ons.

_________________________________

We'll be departing following our

pre-flight maintenance. Thank you.

_________________________________

Loosen up, get the blood flowing

up to the head.

_________________________________

And a couple of these...

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(BACK CRACKS)

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Okay, one's enough, there we go.

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Ah, yeah! That feels better. Oh, baby.

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Tie your kangaroos down, sports fans!

_________________________________

Here we come!

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Let's go for it! Whoa! Hey!

I didn't adjust for the winds.

_________________________________

All right, we're gonna make it!

Gotta duck down lower.

_________________________________

Go under the wind, go under it!

Here we go! Whoo-hoo!

_________________________________

Ow! This is cold!

_________________________________

Slippery! Ice!

_________________________________

We got ice!

_________________________________

Whoa! Hang on now!

_________________________________

Here we go!

_________________________________

Whoa! Cowabunga!

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(TIRES SCREECHING)

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BIANCA: Captain, is this a
non-stop flight to Australia?

_________________________________

Well, not exactly no.

I could definitely say no.

_________________________________

We're gonna have to make

connections with a bigger bird.

_________________________________

Non-stop? What do I look like,

Charles Lindbergh?

_________________________________

_________________________________

-Whoo-hoo!

-(MARLIN SCREAMING)

_________________________________

Righteous, righteous, righteous!

_________________________________

(LAUGHTER)

_________________________________

Totally sick. Totally sick.

_________________________________

I know. Isn't it great?

_________________________________

No! I'm gonna be totally sick.

_________________________________

It's the California current, dude.

It's got some gnarly chop.

_________________________________

-(GROANING)

-Surf's up, dude!

_________________________________

(MARLIN SCREAMS AND GAGS)

_________________________________

Hey, dude, if you're gonna hurl,

just do me a solid...

_________________________________

head to the back of the shell,

lean out, and go for distance.

_________________________________

We call that "feeding the fishes."

_________________________________

Correctamundo, Squirt!

_________________________________

And now we're looking for my parents

at the Brooch of the Atlantic? Or the...

_________________________________

-The Jewel of Morro Bay, California.

-Exactly!

_________________________________

How are you gonna find your parents?

_________________________________

Do you remember what they look like?

_________________________________

I'm a bit new to the memory thing,

so I can't say for sure...

_________________________________

but something tells me they were

mostly blue, with s... Maybe yellow.

_________________________________

That sounds right.

_________________________________

Also I'm pretty sure I'm gonna know

them when I see them. We're family.

_________________________________

By the way crossing the ocean

is the kind of thing you should...

_________________________________

only do once. One time!

_________________________________

Morro Bay, California's

coming up, dudes.

_________________________________
DORY: Whoo-hoo!

Let's find my family.

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CRUSH: Go! Go! Go, go, go.

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NEMO: Just go, Dad.
MARLIN: Don't push me, Nemo.

_________________________________

(MARLIN SCREAMING)

_________________________________

-(MARLIN GROANS)

-(NEMO LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Whoo-hoo! (LAUGHS)

_________________________________
SQUIRT: So long, Little Blue!

Hope you find your parents.

_________________________________
CRUSH: And good luck

"feeding the fishes."

_________________________________

(TURTLES LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Too late. Already fed.

_________________________________

Oh.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Hey, Surge, (SIGHS)
are we glad to see you.
_________________________________

We want to report some malfeasance
_________________________________
over by the Whac-a-Mole.
_________________________________

Yeah, we saw some undesirables
_________________________________
causing a real donnybrook over there.
_________________________________

(SCOFFS) Oh, heck no.
Not on my watch.
_________________________________

Appreciate the tip.
_________________________________
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

_________________________________

_________________________________

-(BARKS)
-No, no, no, no.
_________________________________

Dante, stop! Cállate! Shh!
_________________________________
(CONTINUES BARKING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(FIREWORKS CONTINUE
EXPLODING)

_________________________________

I'm sorry.
_________________________________
(GLASS SHATTERS)

_________________________________
-(STONE SHIFTS)
-(GASPS)
_________________________________

 Señor de la Cruz, please don't be mad.

_________________________________

(STAMMERS) I'm Miguel.

_________________________________

Your great-great grandson.

I need to borrow this.

_________________________________

(SIGHS) Our family thinks

music is a curse.

_________________________________
None of them understand

but I know you would have.

_________________________________

You would have told me

to follow my heart.

_________________________________

To seize my moment!

_________________________________

So, if it's all right with you,

_________________________________

I'm gonna play in the plaza.

Just like you did!

_________________________________

(STRUMS GUITAR)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(CREATURES SPEAKING

ALIEN LANGUAGES)

_________________________________

DOPPLER: Jim! Oh, Jim! Wait for me!

_________________________________

(CLANKING)

_________________________________

Well, Jim, this should be

a wonderful opportunity

_________________________________

for the two of us

to get to know one another.

_________________________________

You know what they say,

familiarity breeds, um,

_________________________________

well, contempt, but in our case...

_________________________________

Look, let's just find the ship. Okay?

_________________________________

_________________________________

So, all we gotta do
is find this eboy place.
_________________________________

-ebay.

-Right, ebay.
_________________________________

So we go there,
get the steering wheel...
_________________________________

we have it delivered to Litwak
before Friday.
_________________________________

He'll fix your game.
_________________________________
Everything goes back to the way it was.
_________________________________

Boom! Happily ever after.
_________________________________

VANELLOPE:
This is a shockingly sound,
_________________________________
well-thought-out idea for you, Ralph.
_________________________________
No offense.
_________________________________

I know. And none taken.
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Ooh, here it comes.
_________________________________
Ladies and gentlemen,
boy and girls...
_________________________________
I give you the Internet!
_________________________________
RALPH: Huh.
_________________________________

The Internet is not nearly as impressive
_________________________________
as how Sonic described it.
_________________________________

Yeah, I gotta admit,
I'm underwhelmed.
_________________________________

Where do you think
they keep their ebay?
_________________________________

RALPH: Beats me.
_________________________________

Hello, anybody here?
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Anyone? Hello?
_________________________________

(ECHOING)
We're looking for ebay!
_________________________________

Ooh. Did you hear that, kid?
Sweet echo.

_________________________________

Check this out.
_________________________________
(MIMICS CAWING SOUNDS)
_________________________________
VANELLOPE: Hoolie-hoo!
Hoolie-hoo!

_________________________________

_________________________________

-(SHIP HORN BLARING)

-(RETCHING)

_________________________________

Carrots. Why is there always carrots?

_________________________________

I didn't even eat carrots.

_________________________________
MRS. PACKARD: Attention.

All hands to the launch bay.

_________________________________

To whoever took the "L"

from the Motor Pool sign,

_________________________________

ha-ha, we are all very amused.

_________________________________

Excuse me? I need to, uh, report in?

_________________________________

Yes, Mr. Thatch?

_________________________________

(GASPS) It's you!

_________________________________

Blondie, I got a bone to pick with you.

_________________________________

Hold that thought.

_________________________________

What is it this time, Cookie?

_________________________________

You done stuffed my wagon full

to busting with non-essentials.

_________________________________

Look at all this.

_________________________________

Cinnamon, oregano, cilantro.

_________________________________

What in the cockadoodle is cilantro?

_________________________________

And what is this?

_________________________________

That would be lettuce.

_________________________________

Lettuce? Lettuce?

_________________________________

It's a vegetable, Cookie.

_________________________________

The men need

the four basic food groups.

_________________________________

I got your four basic food groups!

_________________________________

Beans, bacon, whiskey, and lard!

_________________________________

All right, cowboy.

Pack it up and move it out.

_________________________________
MRS. PACKARD: Attention.

All hands to the launch bay.

_________________________________

Final loading in progress.

_________________________________
_________________________________

-Second berth on your right!

-You can't miss it.

_________________________________

Hey, thanks.

_________________________________

It's the suit, isn't it?

I should never have listened

_________________________________

to that pushy two-headed saleswoman.

_________________________________

This one said it fit,

that one said it was my color.

_________________________________

I didn't know what to do.

I get so flustered. Ooh!

_________________________________

Oh, Jim! This is our ship!

The R.L.S. Legacy!

_________________________________

Whoa!

_________________________________
VINNY: Hey, Junior.

_________________________________

If you're looking for the pony rides,

they're back there.

_________________________________

Excuse me. Excuse me?

_________________________________

You dropped your

(STUTTERS) dynamite.

_________________________________

(NERVOUSLY CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

What else have you got in there?

_________________________________

Oh, gunpowder,

nitroglycerin, notepads,

_________________________________

fuses, wicks, glue, and...

_________________________________

Paper clips. Big ones.

_________________________________

You know, just office supplies.

_________________________________

Milo! Where you been?

_________________________________

I want you to meet Commander Rourke.

_________________________________

He led the Iceland team

that brought the Journal back.

_________________________________

Milo Thatch.

_________________________________

Pleasure to meet the grandson

of old Thaddeus.

_________________________________

I see you got that journal. Nice pictures,

_________________________________

but I prefer a good western myself.

_________________________________

Pretty impressive, eh?

_________________________________

Boy, when you settle a bet,

you settle a bet.

_________________________________

Well, your granddad always believed

_________________________________

you couldn't put a price

on the pursuit of knowledge.

_________________________________

Well, believe me,

this'll be small change

_________________________________

compared to the value

of what we're gonna learn on this trip.

_________________________________

Yes, this should be

enriching for all of us.

_________________________________
MRS. PACKARD: Attention, 

all personnel.

_________________________________

Launch will commence in 15 minutes.

_________________________________

-Mr. Whitmore.

-Rourke.

_________________________________

It's time.

_________________________________

-Bye, Mr. Whitmore!

-Make us proud, boy!

_________________________________

_________________________________

ARROW: Stow those casks forward!

_________________________________

Heave together now!

_________________________________

How cool is this?

_________________________________

(SQUISHING NOISE)

_________________________________

-Sorry about that. I didn't mean...

-(ANGRY FARTING NOISES)

_________________________________

Allow me to handle this.

_________________________________

(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)

_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)

_________________________________

(HAPPY FART NOISES)

_________________________________

I'm fluent in Flatula, Jim.

_________________________________

Took two years of it in high school.

(BLOWS)

_________________________________

Flatula? Cool.

_________________________________

Good morning, Captain.

Everything shipshape?

_________________________________

Shipshape it is, sir,

but I'm not the captain.

_________________________________

The captain's aloft.

_________________________________

(MEOWS)

_________________________________

Mr. Arrow, I've checked

this miserable ship

_________________________________

from stem to stern

and, as usual, it's spot on.

_________________________________

Can you get nothing wrong?

_________________________________

You flatter me, Captain.

_________________________________

Ah.

_________________________________

Dr. Doppler, I presume?

_________________________________

Uh, um... Yes. I...

_________________________________

-Hello! Can you hear me?

-Yes, I can! Stop that banging!

_________________________________

If I may, Doctor,

this works so much better

_________________________________

-when it's right-way up and plugged in.

-Ooh!

_________________________________

Lovely. There you go.

_________________________________

If you don't mind,

I can manage my own plugging!

_________________________________

I'm Captain Amelia,

_________________________________

late of a few run-ins

with the Protean Armada.

_________________________________

Nasty business, but I won't

bore you with my scars.

_________________________________

You've met my first officer, Mr. Arrow.

_________________________________

Sterling, tough, dependable,

honest, brave, and true.

_________________________________

Please, Captain.

_________________________________

Shut up, Arrow. You know

I don't mean a word of it.

_________________________________

Ahem. Excuse me. I hate to

interrupt this lovely banter,

_________________________________

but may I introduce to you

Jim Hawkins?

_________________________________

Jim, you see, is the boy

who found the treasure...

_________________________________

Doctor, please!

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

I'd like a word with you in my stateroom.

_________________________________

Doctor, to muse and blabber

about a treasure map

_________________________________

in front of this particular crew

_________________________________

demonstrates a level of ineptitude

_________________________________

that borders on the imbecilic,

_________________________________

and I mean that in a very caring way.

_________________________________

"Imbecilic," did you say?

Foolishness, I've...

_________________________________

May I see the map, please?

_________________________________

Here.

_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

Fascinating.

_________________________________

Mr. Hawkins, in the future,

_________________________________

you will address me

as "Captain" or "ma'am. "

_________________________________

Is that clear?

_________________________________

Ugh...

_________________________________

Mr. Hawkins?

_________________________________

-Yes, ma'am.

-That'll do.

_________________________________

Gentlemen, this must be kept

under lock and key

_________________________________

when not in use. And, Doctor, again,

_________________________________

with the greatest possible respect,

_________________________________

zip your howling screamer.

_________________________________

Captain, I assure you I...

_________________________________

Let me make this

as monosyllabic as possible.

_________________________________

I don't much care

for this crew you hired.

_________________________________

They're... How did

I describe them, Arrow?

_________________________________

I said something rather good

this morning before coffee.

_________________________________

"A ludicrous parcel

of driveling galoots," ma'am.

_________________________________

-There you go. Poetry.

-Now, see here...

_________________________________

Doctor, I'd love to chat,

tea, cake, the whole shebang,

_________________________________

but I have a ship to launch,

_________________________________

and you've got your outfit to buff up.

_________________________________

Mr. Arrow, please escort

these two neophytes

_________________________________

down to the galley straightaway.

_________________________________

Young Hawkins will be working

for our cook, Mr. Silver.

_________________________________

What? The cook?

_________________________________

That woman! That feline!

_________________________________

Who does she think

is working for whom?

_________________________________

It's my map,

and she's got me bussin' tables?

_________________________________

I'll not tolerate a cross word

about our captain!

_________________________________

There's no finer officer

in this or any galaxy.

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

ARROW: Mr. Silver?

_________________________________

Why, Mr. Arrow, sir.

_________________________________

Bringin' in such fine

and distinguished gents

_________________________________

to grace my humble galley.

_________________________________

Had I known,

I'd have tucked in me shirt.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

A cyborg!

_________________________________

May I introduce Dr. Doppler,

_________________________________

the financier of our voyage.

_________________________________

Love the outfit, Doc.

_________________________________

Well, thank you. Um, love the eye.

_________________________________

Uh, this young lad is Jim Hawkins.

_________________________________

Jimbo!

_________________________________

Now, don't be too put off

by this hunk of hardware.

_________________________________

(HUMMING)

_________________________________

Whoa!

_________________________________

These gears have been

tough getting used to,

_________________________________

but they do come in mighty handy

from time to time.

_________________________________

Mmm!

_________________________________

Here, now, have a taste

of me famous bonzabeast stew.

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)

_________________________________

Mmm! Delightfully tangy, yet robust.

_________________________________

SILVER: Old family recipe.

_________________________________

Aah!

_________________________________

In fact, that was part of the old family!

_________________________________

(LAUGHS)

_________________________________

I'm just kiddin', Doc!

_________________________________

Yeah, well...

_________________________________

I'm nothin' if I ain't a kidder.

_________________________________

Go on, Jimbo. Have a swig.

_________________________________

(GIGGLING)

_________________________________

SILVER: Morph!

_________________________________

You jiggle-headed blob of mischief!

_________________________________

So that's where you was hiding!

_________________________________

(CHATTERING)

_________________________________

(BELCH)

_________________________________

What is that thing?

_________________________________

"What is that thing?"

_________________________________

SILVER: He's a morph.

_________________________________

I rescued the little shape-shifter

on Proteus 1.

_________________________________

(COOING)

_________________________________

Aw, he took a shine to me.

_________________________________

We been together ever since.

_________________________________

Right? Yeah. Nice boy.

_________________________________

We're about to get underway.

_________________________________

Would you like to observe

the launch, Doctor?

_________________________________

Would I?

_________________________________

Does an active galactic nucleus

have superluminal jets?

_________________________________

I'll follow you.

_________________________________

Mr. Hawkins will stay here

in your charge, Mr. Silver.

_________________________________

(COUGHING)

_________________________________

Beggin' your pardon, sir, but...

_________________________________

Captain's orders! See to it

the new cabin boy's kept busy.

_________________________________

-But, no, but...

-No, you can't...

_________________________________

(BOTH SIGH)

_________________________________

So, Captain's put you with me, eh?

_________________________________

Whatever.

_________________________________

Well, who be a humble cyborg

to argue with a captain?

_________________________________

Yeah.

_________________________________

You know, these purps,

_________________________________

they're kind of like the ones

back home on Montressor.

_________________________________

You ever been there?

_________________________________

I can't say as I have, Jimbo.

_________________________________

Come to think of it, just before I left,

_________________________________

I met this old guy who was, um...

_________________________________

He was kind of looking

for a cyborg buddy of his.

_________________________________

Is that so?

_________________________________

Yeah.

_________________________________

What was that old salamander's name?

_________________________________

Oh, yeah. Bones.

_________________________________

Billy Bones?

_________________________________

Bones? Bones?

_________________________________

T'ain't ringin' any bells.

_________________________________

Must have been a different cyborg.

_________________________________

There's a slew of cyborgs

roamin' this port.

_________________________________

-(WHISTLE ON DECK)

-ARROW: Prepare to cast off!

_________________________________

Off with you, lad, and watch the launch.

_________________________________

There'll be plenty work

a- waitin' for you afterwards.

_________________________________

-(HUMMING)

-(CHATTERING)

_________________________________

We best be keepin' a sharp eye

on this one, eh, Morph?

_________________________________

We wouldn't want him strayin'

into things he shouldn't.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Okay, connect to network.
_________________________________
-(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
-Bingo.
_________________________________
Password is "high score"

with a zero instead of an "o."
_________________________________

Yes.
_________________________________
And we are online.

_________________________________

We're all clear, Captain!

_________________________________

Well, my friend. Are we ready

to raise this creaking tub?

_________________________________

My pleasure, Captain.

_________________________________

All hands to stations!

_________________________________

Smartly now!

_________________________________

Come on, you scurvy scum!

I'll race you!

_________________________________

Loose all solar sails!

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Come on!

_________________________________

ARROW: Heave up the braces.

_________________________________

Brace up.

_________________________________

Ooh! Oh!

_________________________________

Mr. Zoff, engage artificial gravity.

_________________________________

(FARTING)

_________________________________

(CLANKING)

_________________________________

(CLATTERING)

_________________________________

South by southwest,

Mr. Turnbuckle, heading 2-1-0-0.

_________________________________

Aye, Captain. 2-1-0-0.

_________________________________

DIVING OFFICER: Rig ship for dive!

_________________________________

CHIEF OF THE WATCH:

Aye, sir! Rig ship for dive.

_________________________________

Lieutenant, take her down.

_________________________________

Diving officer, submerge the ship.

_________________________________

-DIVING OFFICER: Aye!

-Make the depth one-five-zero feet.

_________________________________

DIVING OFFICER:

Make the depth one-five-zero feet.

_________________________________

MAN ON INTERCOM:

Dive, dive! Five degrees down bubble.

_________________________________

DIVING OFFICER: Take us down.

CREW MEMBER: Take us down!

_________________________________
-VANELLOPE: Hoolie-hoo!
-(RALPH CAWING)
_________________________________
-VANELLOPE: Hoolie-hoolie-hoo!
-(RALPH CAWING)
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Ooh, Ralph, look.
_________________________________
Cool. Mood lighting.
_________________________________
(BOTH SHOUT)
_________________________________
(RALPH GASPS)
_________________________________

Ahhh! That's a gremlin!
Stay away! It's a gremlin!
_________________________________
It looks like a tiny Mr. Litwak.

_________________________________

Full speed, Mr. Arrow, if you please.

_________________________________

Take her away!

_________________________________
AUTOMATED VOICE:
IP address 415-1037-483.
_________________________________

Oh, cool! Come on, Ralph,
let's follow him!
_________________________________

Hey, wait for me!
Kid, come back! Wait!

_________________________________
(GRUNTING) Hey!
Don't leave without me!
_________________________________
AUTOMATED VOICE:
IP address 415-1037-483.
_________________________________
(VANELLOPE SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Vanellope!
_________________________________
(YELPS)
_________________________________
(MUFFLED) I can't breathe.
I don't fit.
_________________________________
(SHOUTING)

_________________________________

Brace yourself, Doctor.

_________________________________

(SNIDELY) "Brace yourself. "

_________________________________

Aah! Oof!

_________________________________
VANELLOPE: Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________
Yeah! Whoo!
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS, GASPING)
_________________________________

Kid!
_________________________________

Ralph! Isn't this great?
_________________________________

No, it is not!
_________________________________
Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________
No, no, no.
_________________________________
(DISTORTED SHOUTING)
_________________________________
Whoa!
_________________________________
(EXCLAIMS, SHOUTS)
_________________________________
-(VANELLOPE EXCLAIMS)
-(EXCLAIMING, GROANS)
_________________________________
(RALPH GASPING)
_________________________________

Sweet mother of monkey milk!
_________________________________
Whoa!
_________________________________

Kid, I don't think
we're in Litwak's anymore.
_________________________________

We most certainly are not,
friendo.
_________________________________

We are in the Internet!
Come on, Ralph!

_________________________________

Whoa.

_________________________________

(CALLING)

_________________________________

Upon my word, an Orcus Galacticus.

_________________________________

Smile.

_________________________________

Doctor, I'd stand clear...
_________________________________

_________________________________

-MAN 1: The guitar! It's gone!

-(GASPING)

_________________________________

MAN 2: Somebody stole

de la Cruz's guitar!

_________________________________

WOMAN: The window's broken. Look!
_________________________________
-(PANTING)
-(KEYS JANGLING)

_________________________________

All right, who's in there?

_________________________________

I'm sorry. It's not what it looks like.

_________________________________

De la Cruz is my...

_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-There's nobody here.
_________________________________
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
_________________________________
(GASPING)

_________________________________

-MAMÁ: Miguel!

-Mamá!

_________________________________

Miguel, come home.
Where are you, Miguel?

_________________________________
(YELPING)
_________________________________
(GROANS)
_________________________________

 Dios mio! Little boy. Are you okay?

_________________________________

Here. Let me help you.

_________________________________

Thanks. I...

_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(RATTLING)

_________________________________

(YELPING)
_________________________________

-Do you mind? Whoa!
-(YELPS)

_________________________________
-(PANTING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

_________________________________
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-Look how big she's getting.
-(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
_________________________________

 (GASPS) Dante!

_________________________________

-You can see me? Wait!
-(BARKING)
_________________________________
What's going on? Dante!
_________________________________
(BOTH GRUNT)
_________________________________

-Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-Miguel?

_________________________________

-Miguel?

-Miguel?

_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________

You're here? Here, here.

And you can see us?

_________________________________

-Our Migueli-ti-ti-ti-to!
-(YELPING)

_________________________________

Remind me how I know you.

_________________________________

-We're your family, mijo.
-(GASPING)

_________________________________

-MIGUEL: Tía Rosita?

-Sí.

_________________________________

-MIGUEL: Papá Julio?

-Hola.

_________________________________
MIGUEL: Tía Victoria?

_________________________________

He doesn't seem entirely dead.

_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)
-He's not quite alive, either.

_________________________________

We need Mamá Imelda.

She'll know how to fix this.

_________________________________

Oye! It's Mamá Imelda.

_________________________________

-She couldn't cross over!
-(ALL GASP)

_________________________________

-She's stuck!

-On the other side!

_________________________________

Tío Oscar? Tío Felipe?

_________________________________

-Oh. Hey, Miguel.
-(BOTH GASP)

_________________________________

I have a feeling this has

something to do with you.

_________________________________

But if Mamá Imelda can't come to us...

_________________________________

Then we are going to her! Vámonos!

_________________________________

(DANTE BARKING)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
Whoa.

_________________________________

Come on, Miguel. It's okay.

_________________________________

_________________________________

'Tis a grand day for sailing, Captain,

_________________________________

and look at you.

_________________________________

You're as trim and as bonny as a sloop

_________________________________

with new sails and a fresh coat of paint.

_________________________________

You can keep that kind of flim-flammery

_________________________________

for your spaceport floozies, Silver.

_________________________________

"Spaceport floozy, spaceport floozy... "

_________________________________

You cut me to the quick, Captain.

_________________________________

I speaks nothing

but me heart at all times.

_________________________________

MORPH: "Nothing but me heart."

_________________________________

And, by the way,

isn't that your cabin boy

_________________________________

aimlessly footling about

in those shrouds?

_________________________________

Yep, it...

_________________________________

A momentary aberration, Cap'n,

soon to be addressed. Jimbo!

_________________________________

I got two new friends

I'd like you to meet.

_________________________________

Say hello to Mr. Mop and Mrs. Bucket.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Yippie.

_________________________________

_________________________________
MRS. PACKARD: Attention.

_________________________________

Tonight's supper will be baked beans.

_________________________________

Musical program to follow.

_________________________________

(SHUDDERING)

_________________________________

-Who wrote this?

-(YAWNING)

_________________________________

Ah!

_________________________________

You have disturbed the dirt.

_________________________________

-Pardon me?

-You have disturbed the dirt!

_________________________________

Dirt from around the globe,

spanning the centuries!

_________________________________

What have you done?

_________________________________

England must never merge with France!

_________________________________

-What's it doing in my bed?

-You ask too many questions.

_________________________________

Who are you? Who sent you?

Speak up!

_________________________________

-Me? I'm...

-I will know soon enough.

_________________________________

Hey, hey, hey! Let go!

_________________________________

Do not be such a crybaby. Hold still.

_________________________________

A-ha! There you are.

_________________________________

(GASPS) Now,

tell me your story, my little friend.

_________________________________

Parchment fiber from

the Nile delta circa 500 B.C.

_________________________________

Lead pencil, number 2.

_________________________________

Paint flecks of a type

used in government buildings.

_________________________________

You have a cat,

shorthaired Persian, two years old,

_________________________________

third in a litter of seven.

_________________________________

There are all the microscopic

fingerprints of the mapmaker.

_________________________________

And linguist.

_________________________________

-Hey, how did you...

-This is an outrage!

_________________________________

You must leave at once!

Out, out, out, out, out!

_________________________________

Uh-oh. Sat in the dirt, didn't you?

_________________________________

Moliere, now what have I told you

_________________________________

about playing nice with the other kids?

_________________________________

Get back. I've got soap,

_________________________________

-and I'm not afraid to use it.

-(HISSES)

_________________________________

Back, foul creature!

Back to the pit from which you came!

_________________________________

The name's Sweet.

_________________________________

Joshua Sweet. Medical officer.

_________________________________

Yeah, Milo Thatch.

_________________________________

Milo Thatch. You're my 3:00.

_________________________________

Well, no time like the present.

_________________________________

-Oh, boy.

-Nice, isn't it?

_________________________________

The catalog says that this little beauty

_________________________________

can saw through a femur in 28 seconds.

_________________________________

I'm betting I can cut that time in half.

_________________________________

Now, stick out your

tongue and say, "Ah."

_________________________________

Oh, no, really. I have a... Ah!

_________________________________

-So, where you from?

-(BABBLING)

_________________________________

Really? I have family up that way.

_________________________________

Beautiful country up there.

Do you do any fishing?

_________________________________

(MUMBLING)

_________________________________

Me? I hate fishing. I hate fish.

_________________________________

Hate the taste, hate the smell,

and hate all them little bones.

_________________________________

Here, I'm gonna need you

to fill these up.

_________________________________

(SPUTTERS) With what?

_________________________________
MRS. PACKARD: Will Milo Thatch

please report to the bridge?

_________________________________

Thank you.

_________________________________

I mean, nice meeting you.

_________________________________

Uh-huh, nice meeting you, too.

_________________________________

So I says to him,

"What's wrong with my meatloaf?"

_________________________________

-And he says to me...

-(BUZZING)

_________________________________

Hold on a second, Margie.

I got another call.

_________________________________

Sir, we're approaching coordinates.

_________________________________

Hello, Margie?

Yeah, so anyways, he says...

_________________________________
ROURKE: All right,

let's have a look around.

_________________________________
HELGA: Aye, sir.

Set course to two-four-zero.

_________________________________

SAILOR: Aye, aye, sir.

_________________________________
HELGA: 15 degrees down angle

on the bow planes.

_________________________________

Come right two-four-zero.

_________________________________
ROURKE: Welcome to

the bridge, Mr. Thatch.

_________________________________

Okay, everybody,

_________________________________

I want you to give Mr. Thatch

_________________________________

your undivided attention.

_________________________________

Good afternoon.

Can everyone hear me okay?

_________________________________

Uh.

_________________________________

Okay, how about some slides?

_________________________________

The first slide is

a depiction of a creature.

_________________________________

A creature so frightening

_________________________________

that sailors were said

to be driven mad by the mere sight of it.

_________________________________

-(ALL LAUGHING)

-MRS. PACKARD: Hubba, hubba.

_________________________________

Uh, I'm sorry. That's wrong.

_________________________________

Geez, I used to take lunch money

_________________________________

-from guys like this.

-(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Anyway, this... Okay.

_________________________________

This is an illustration of the Leviathan,

_________________________________

the creature guarding

the entrance to Atlantis.

_________________________________

With something like that,

_________________________________

I would have white wine, I think.

_________________________________

It's a mythical sea serpent.

_________________________________

He's described in The Book of Job.

_________________________________

The Bible says,

_________________________________

"Out of his mouth go burning lights,

_________________________________

"sparks of fire shoot out."

_________________________________

But more likely, it's a carving or

a sculpture to frighten the superstitious.

_________________________________

So we find this masterpiece.

Then what?

_________________________________

When do we dig?

_________________________________

Actually, we don't have to dig.

_________________________________

You see, according to the Journal,

_________________________________

the path to Atlantis

will take us down a tunnel

_________________________________

at the bottom of the ocean,

and we'll come up a curve

_________________________________

into an air pocket right here,

_________________________________

where we'll find the remnants

_________________________________

of an ancient highway

that will lead us to Atlantis.

_________________________________

Kind of like the grease trap in your sink.

_________________________________

Cartographer, linguist, plumber.

_________________________________

Hard to believe he's still single.

_________________________________

-You said there'd be digging.

-HELGA: Go away, Mole.

_________________________________

Captain, you'd better

come look at this, sir.

_________________________________

Okay, class dismissed.

_________________________________

Give me exterior lights.

_________________________________

Look at that.

_________________________________

There are ships here from every era.

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

(BEEPING)

_________________________________

(STATIC)

_________________________________

Commander, I think

you should hear this.

_________________________________

(SPEAKING ATLANTEAN LANGUAGE)

_________________________________
MRS. PACKARD:

Commander? Commander?

_________________________________

"Enter the lair of the Leviathan."

_________________________________
MRS. PACKARD: Commander?

_________________________________

"There you will find the path

to the gateway."

_________________________________

-Commander?

-Yes, Mrs. Packard. What is it?

_________________________________

I'm picking up something

on the hydrophone

_________________________________

-I think you should hear.

-Put it on speakers.

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

What is it? A pod of whales?

_________________________________

Uh-uh... Bigger.

_________________________________

It sounds metallic.

_________________________________

Could be an echo off one of the rocks.

_________________________________

Do you want to do my job? Be my guest.

_________________________________

Is it just me, or is that getting louder?

_________________________________

Well, whatever it was, it's gone now.

_________________________________

Helmsman! Bring us about.

_________________________________

Tighten our search pattern

and slow us to...

_________________________________

-(CRASHING)

-Ah!

_________________________________

-(ALARM RINGING)

-Out of my way!

_________________________________

(CREW SHOUTING)

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

(CRASHING)

_________________________________

Tell Cookie to melt the butter

and break out the bibs.

_________________________________

I want this lobster served up

on a silver platter.

_________________________________

Load the torpedo bays!

Sub pod crews, battle stations!

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

ENSIGN: Battle stations!

_________________________________
ROURKE: (ON INTERCOM)

Steady, boys. Don't panic.

_________________________________

Jimmy Christmas! It's a machine!

_________________________________

(ALARM RINGING)

_________________________________

Wait, wait! (GRUNTS)

_________________________________

Launch subpods!

_________________________________

ENSIGN: Subpods away!

_________________________________
ROURKE: Fire!

_________________________________

We're free. All ahead full.

_________________________________

Fire torpedoes!

_________________________________

ENSIGN: Fire torpedos!

_________________________________

Get me the bridge!

_________________________________

Sir, it's Engineering on four.

_________________________________
AUDREY:

Rourke! We took a big hit down here,

_________________________________

and we're taking on water fast.

_________________________________

I don't want to be around

when it hits the boilers.

_________________________________

How much time do we have?

_________________________________

Twenty minutes, if the bulkhead holds.

_________________________________

(CLANGS) You better make that five.

_________________________________

You heard the lady. Let's move!

_________________________________

Move! Where? Move where?

_________________________________

Packard, sound the alarm!

_________________________________

He took his suitcase?

_________________________________

Marge, honey,

I don't think he's coming back.

_________________________________

-Packard!

-I have to call you back.

_________________________________

No, no, I'll call you.

_________________________________

(SIREN WAILING)

_________________________________
MRS. PACKARD: All hands, 

abandon ship.

_________________________________

Move it, people!

Sometime today would be nice!

_________________________________

Come on! Everybody

grab a seat and buckle in.

_________________________________

Lieutenant, get us out of here!

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

-ROURKE: Lieutenant!

-I'm working on it!

_________________________________

Hang on.

_________________________________

Where to, Mr. Thatch?

_________________________________

We're looking for

a big crevice of some kind.

_________________________________

There! Up ahead.

_________________________________

All craft, make your mark

20 degrees down angle.

_________________________________

Roger! 20 degrees down angle.

_________________________________

Right behind you!

_________________________________

-MOLE: Sacré bleu!

-We're getting killed out here!

_________________________________

Look out!

_________________________________

It's only a grease trap.

It's just like a sink.

_________________________________

It's only a grease trap.

It's just like a sink.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Let me out of here!

Let me go! You can't do this!

_________________________________

Help!

_________________________________

Breaker, breaker, little mate.

_________________________________

I forgot to tell you around here,

you need to be quiet!

_________________________________

Or the rangers might hear you.

_________________________________

Now sit down and relax,

enjoy the view.

_________________________________

Nothing but abandoned opal mines

as far as the eye can see.

_________________________________

And dead ahead, is home sweet home.

_________________________________

(SINGING) Home, home on the range

_________________________________

Where the critters

are tied up in chains

_________________________________

I cut through their sides

And I rip off their hides

_________________________________

And the next day, I do it again

_________________________________

Everybody!

_________________________________

Home, home on the range...

_________________________________

WOMAN: Cody! Cody!

_________________________________

Cody!

_________________________________

MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, Flight 12

is now approaching Sydney airport.

_________________________________

Make sure your seat belts

are fastened and tables secured.

_________________________________

Enjoy your stay in Australia.

_________________________________

-Are we there yet?

-Yes.

_________________________________

Perhaps we should wake up Wilbur.

_________________________________

All right, I'll get him up.

_________________________________

-Wilbur.

-(SNORING)

_________________________________

Wilbur!

_________________________________

-Just five more minutes, Ma.

-(BIANCA SCREAMS)

_________________________________

-Wilbur!

-That's all I need, five more minutes.

_________________________________

Wilbur, are you awake?

_________________________________

-Get up, we're there!

-I'm up, I'm up.

_________________________________

Watch out!

_________________________________

Must have been sleeping on a bolt.

_________________________________

Oh, boy.

_________________________________

Throw another shrimp on the barbie,

'cause here I come!

_________________________________

-Here we go again!

-Cannonball!

_________________________________

Wee! (GIGGLING)

_________________________________

Gangway! Coming through.

Mice on board!

_________________________________

Clear the way!

Move over madam, there you go!

_________________________________

Coming through, sir. Thank you.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

Next stop, Mugwomp Flats.

_________________________________

Did we lose anyone back there?

_________________________________
BERNARD: Miss Bianca, from now on,

can't we just take the train?

_________________________________

_________________________________
(DANTE BARKS)
_________________________________
(DANTE CONTINUES BARKING)

_________________________________

Dante? Dante! Dante, wait up!

_________________________________

You got to stay with me, boy.

You don't know... where...

_________________________________

This isn't a dream, then.

You're all really out there.

_________________________________

-You thought we weren't?

-Well, I don't know.

_________________________________

I thought it might've been one of those
made up things that adults tell kids.
_________________________________
Like vitamins.

_________________________________

Miguel, vitamins are a real thing.

_________________________________

Well, now I'm thinking

maybe they could be.

_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-Mija, it's not nice to stare at...

_________________________________

Ay! Santa Maria!
_________________________________
(WHOOSHING)

_________________________________

Are those... Alebrijes! But those are...

_________________________________
OSCAR: Real alebrijes. Spirit creatures.

_________________________________

They guide souls on their journey.

_________________________________

Watch your step.

They make caquitas everywhere.

_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Welcome back

to the Land of the Dead.

_________________________________

Please have all offerings

ready for re-entry.

_________________________________

Welcome back.
Anything to declare?

_________________________________

Some churros. From my family.

_________________________________
ARRIVALS AGENT:

How wonderful. Next.

_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: If you are

experiencing travel issues,

_________________________________

agents at the Department of Family...

_________________________________

Reunions are available to assist you.

_________________________________
DEPARTURES AGENT:

Next family, please.
_________________________________
(DINGS)

_________________________________

 Oh! Your photos are

on your son's ofrenda.

_________________________________

Have a great visit.

_________________________________

BOTH: Gracias.

_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: And remember

to return before sunrise.

_________________________________

Enjoy your visit.

_________________________________

-Next.
-(DINGS)

_________________________________

Your photo's on your dentist's
ofrenda. Enjoy your visit.

_________________________________

-Gracias.
-Next?

_________________________________

Yes! It is I. Frida Kahlo.

_________________________________

Shall we skip the scanner?

_________________________________

I'm on so many ofrendas

it'll just overwhelm your blinky thingy.
_________________________________
(BUZZING)

_________________________________

Well, shoot, looks like no one

put up your photo, Frida.

_________________________________

Okay, when I said I was Frida,
just now, that was a lie.

_________________________________

And I apologize for doing that.

_________________________________

No photo on an ofrenda,

no crossing the bridge.

_________________________________

I'm just gonna zip right over.

You won't even know I'm gone.

_________________________________

-Hey!
-(LAUGHS)
_________________________________
(WOMAN YELPS)
_________________________________
(PANTING)

_________________________________

Almost...there. Just a little further.
_________________________________
(PANTING)
_________________________________
(SIGHS)

_________________________________

Upsy daisy...

_________________________________

Fine. Okay. Fine, who cares?

_________________________________

Dumb flower bridge!

_________________________________

Aw. I don't know what I'd do

if no one put up my photo.

_________________________________

-ARRIVALS AGENT: Next?

-Oh! Come, mijo. It's our turn.

_________________________________

Welcome back, amigos.

Anything to declare?

_________________________________

As a matter of fact, yes.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

_________________________________

Hola.

_________________________________

MALE ANNOUNCER:

Paging Marta Gonzales-Ramos.

_________________________________

Please report to Level Seven.

_________________________________
MIGUEL: Whoa!
_________________________________
(ALL GASP)

_________________________________

(SIGHS) I miss my nose.

_________________________________

_________________________________
JAKE: Well, Sparky,

you've had this coming for a long time.

_________________________________

And now, you're gonna get it.

_________________________________

Ha!

_________________________________

Wise fly.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________
WILBUR: Mugwomp tower,

_________________________________

this is Albatross 1-3

requesting permission to land. Over?

_________________________________

Albatross? Let's see.

_________________________________

Finch, wren, scrub-bird, lorikeet,

_________________________________

freckled duck, galah,

kookaburra, parrot,

_________________________________

cockatoo, alba... It's a jumbo!

_________________________________

Negative, you'll have to turn back.

_________________________________

-Our runway isn't long enough for you.

-WILBUR: Not long enough?

_________________________________

Look pal,

I can land this thing on a dime!

_________________________________
BERNARD: Wilbur,

if the runway isn't long enough...

_________________________________
WILBUR: You can't let radar jockeys

push you around. Leave it to me.

_________________________________

I say again, mate,

our runway is too short.

_________________________________

And I say again, mate, I'm coming in!

_________________________________

Crazy Yank. Quick, Sparky,

we gotta extend the runway.

_________________________________

Here we go!

_________________________________

We'll never make it!

_________________________________

Hot!

_________________________________

Passengers, please remain seated

_________________________________

until the aircraft comes

to a full and complete stop.

_________________________________

Thank you.

_________________________________

Whoa!

_________________________________

Quick, Sparky,

we need to make a drag line!

_________________________________

Don't try and tell me

the runway's too short.

_________________________________

Hold this for me, will you, pal?

_________________________________

Bloke ought to have his wings clipped.

_________________________________

Captain thanks you

for flying Albatross Airlines...

_________________________________

Crazy Yanks.

_________________________________

They think they can do any fool thing

without regard for...

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

Welcome to Australia, ma'am.

_________________________________

Name's Jake. If there's any way

I can make your stay pleasant,

_________________________________

don't hesitate to ask.

_________________________________

-Oh, how kind.

-Allow me to get that bag for you.

_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)

I've got a lot of luggage here.

_________________________________

Let me give you a hand with those.

_________________________________

Part of the friendly service

at Albatross...

_________________________________

-(BACK CRACKS)

-Ow! Big time hurt!

_________________________________

Back! It's out!

_________________________________

-Are you all right?

-Don't worry, I'll handle this.

_________________________________

Sparky, watch the tower.

We gotta get this bird to the hospital.

_________________________________

Can't go down, can't go up.

Take the bags!

_________________________________
MICE: Heave! Ho!
WILBUR: What are you doing?

_________________________________

What's going on? Wait!

_________________________________

-Wait a minute. Just stop everything.

-BIANCA: Wilbur, don't worry.

_________________________________

We'll come back the moment

we find the boy.

_________________________________

Wait! Wait a minute!

Don't leave me here, please!

_________________________________

I'm feeling much better now.

I'm even ready to hit the beaches.

_________________________________

I'm even ready to mambo. (HUMMING)

_________________________________

-(BACK CRACKS)

-Ow!

_________________________________

Doctor, will he be all right?

_________________________________

Now, my dear. Keep a stiff upper lip.

_________________________________

They all come in with a whimper,

and leave with a grin.

_________________________________

Off with you now. Leave everything

to me. Shoo, shoo. Off you go.

_________________________________

Hop to it, ladies.

We've got a bent bird on our hands.

_________________________________

-Move, bustle, bustle. That's it.

-Will it hurt, Doc?

_________________________________

Dear boy, you won't feel a thing.

_________________________________

-Launch the back brace!

-WILBUR: Hey, wait!

_________________________________

(SCREAMS) I've been skewered!

_________________________________

I've already missed tea, Mr. Albatross.

_________________________________

Now don't force me to take

drastic measures. You must relax.

_________________________________

Relax? I have never been

more relaxed in my life!

_________________________________

If I were any more relaxed, I'd be dead!

_________________________________

I'm not convinced.

_________________________________

60 milligrams!

_________________________________

60 milligrams.

_________________________________
WILBUR: Hey! What?

_________________________________

Are you guys crazy?

You can't do that to me!

_________________________________

I'm an American citizen, buddy!

_________________________________

-Better double it!

-Double?

_________________________________

-Double, coming up!

-WILBUR: No!

_________________________________
Prepare the albatross for medication.

_________________________________

I'm dreaming!

Come on, Wilbur. Wake up, boy!

_________________________________

-DOCTOR: Three degrees right.

-Come on!

_________________________________

-Three degrees right.

-Down two degrees.

_________________________________

Don't go down two!

_________________________________

-Down two degrees.

-Ready!

_________________________________

No, I'm not ready! No, please!

_________________________________

Aim!

_________________________________

Please don't do this to me.

_________________________________
DOCTOR: Fire!

_________________________________

-(GUNSHOT)

-WILBUR: Ow!

_________________________________

Oh! Oh! (MOANING)

_________________________________

Now we just gotta

figure out how to get there.

_________________________________

So are you and your husband here

on a little outback excursion?

_________________________________

No, we're not married.

_________________________________

In fact, we're here

on a top secret mission.

_________________________________

Very hush-hush.

_________________________________

Gonna rescue that kid

McLeach nabbed?

_________________________________

Why, that's right! How did you know?

_________________________________

You'll find it's tough

to keep secrets in the outback, miss.

_________________________________

So which way you taking?

_________________________________

Suicide Trail through Nightmare

Canyon, or shortcut at Satan's Ridge?

_________________________________

-"Suicide Trail"?

-Good choice.

_________________________________

More snakes, less quicksand.

_________________________________

Then once you cross Bloodworm Creek,

you're scot-free, that is until...

_________________________________

Dead Dingo Pass.

_________________________________

Wait a minute, I don't see

any of that stuff on the map.

_________________________________

A map's no good in the outback!

_________________________________

What you really need is someone

who knows the territory.

_________________________________

Mr. Jake, will you guide us?

_________________________________

At your service!

_________________________________

Better take my arm, miss.

It's gonna be a treacherous hike.

_________________________________

I remember the time it was just me

and 400 of these big, giant...

_________________________________

Doesn't even know how to fold a map.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Holy cow!
_________________________________
Look at all this stuff.
_________________________________
VANELLOPE: Whoa.
_________________________________

This is the most beautiful
miracle I've ever seen.

_________________________________

But it's so big.
_________________________________
It goes on forever and ever.
_________________________________

(GLITCHING) How are we
possibly gonna find
_________________________________

ebay out there?
_________________________________

Hey, kid. Kid, don't worry.
_________________________________
I'm sure there's someone out here
_________________________________

who could give us directions.
Oh!
_________________________________

Look at that little egg guy.
_________________________________

He's got on one of those hats

that smart people wear.
_________________________________

I bet he could help us.
Come on.
_________________________________

Welcome back
to the search bar, madam.
_________________________________

I hope you are able to find
_________________________________
a satisfactory breakfast burrito...
_________________________________

based upon the search results

I provided this morning.
_________________________________

What can KnowsMore

help you find now?
_________________________________

Where can I find ballet...?
_________________________________

Ballet shoes? Ballet classes?

Ballet folklorico?
_________________________________

BALLET MOM: ...tights?
_________________________________
Girls' size small.
_________________________________

Oh, little Madeline's

trying ballet now, is she?
_________________________________

I hope this lasts longer
than the soccer phase.

_________________________________
(CHIMES)
_________________________________
Hmm.
_________________________________

I found 23 million results
_________________________________

for ballet tights,
girls' size small.

_________________________________
Isn't that interesting?
_________________________________

AUTOMATED VOICE: Redirecting
to DesmondsTutus.com.

_________________________________
They never say thank you.
_________________________________

Oh, hello, sir.
_________________________________
Interesting, you don't seem to
have a search history.
_________________________________

Well, let's start one for you.
_________________________________

What can KnowsMore
help you find today?
_________________________________

-Um...

-Umbrella. Umbrage.
_________________________________
-Umami. Uma Thurman.

-No.
_________________________________

Noah's Ark. No Doubt.
Nordstrom Rack.
_________________________________

(GROWLS) Err.
_________________________________

Ergonomics. Urban Outfitters.

Urkel, played by Jaleel White.

_________________________________
Looks like no one put
Humpty Dumpty together again.
_________________________________

This guy's a little soft-boiled.
_________________________________

I'm pretty sure he's just trying to
_________________________________
guess what you're gonna say.
_________________________________

Yes. I'm sorry,
_________________________________
but my autofill
is a touch aggressive today.
_________________________________

Let me try. (CLEARS THROAT)
ebay Sugar Rush

_________________________________
-steering wheel.
-(CHIMES)
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________
I only found one result for your query.
_________________________________

Hmm. Isn't that interesting?
_________________________________

What? How did you...?
_________________________________
Ah, the Internet's very intuitive.
_________________________________

Thank you, Mr. KnowsMore.
_________________________________

Well, you're welcome.
_________________________________
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Redirecting to ebay.
_________________________________
(RALPH GROANING)
_________________________________
KNOWSMORE: I like her.
What a delightful girl.

_________________________________
AUTOMATED VOICE: Slow traffic
will be fined for speeds
_________________________________
less than three megabytes per second.
_________________________________
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

Wow, I guess we know where to go
_________________________________
if we ever need a pair of goggles.
_________________________________

There's a whole building full of them.
_________________________________

Oh! There it is! ebay!
_________________________________
(YELPS)
_________________________________

Ralph,
we're really gonna do it.
_________________________________

We're actually gonna save my game.
_________________________________

Told you not to worry.
_________________________________
We just gotta keep our eyes on
the prize and stay focused.
_________________________________

Get rid of belly fat
using this one weird trick.
_________________________________

Ooh! I love weird tricks.
_________________________________

Sassy housewives want to meet you.

_________________________________
They do?
_________________________________

Congratulations,
you're a winner!
_________________________________

Really?
_________________________________

These ten child stars went to prison.
_________________________________

Number six will amaze you.
_________________________________

Ooh. That sounds interesting.
_________________________________

Wanna get rich playing video games?
_________________________________

Click here to find out how.
_________________________________

Ralph, come on!
_________________________________

But there's a lot of cool stuff here.
_________________________________

I'll be right here if you

change your mind, brother.
_________________________________

Ooh, how about you, lady?
_________________________________

You wanna get rich
playing video games?

_________________________________

_________________________________
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
_________________________________

 Come on, help us out, amigo.

_________________________________

We got to get to
a dozen ofrendas tonight.

_________________________________

We are not visiting your ex-wife's family

for Día de Muertos!

_________________________________

I demand to speak
to the person in charge!

_________________________________

I'm sorry, señora,
it says here no one put up your photo.

_________________________________

My family always put my photo
on the ofrenda.

_________________________________

That devil box tells you nothing but lies!

_________________________________

-Mamá Imelda? (GASPS)

-Oh, mi familia!

_________________________________

They wouldn't let me cross the bridge.

_________________________________

Tell this woman and her devil box

_________________________________

that my photo is in the ofrenda.

_________________________________

(STAMMERS) Well, we never

made it to the ofrenda.

_________________________________

-What?

-We ran into... (STAMMERS)

_________________________________

-(GASPS) Miguel?

-Mamá Imelda.

_________________________________

What is going on?

_________________________________

You the Rivera family?
_________________________________
(COMPUTER EXPLODES)

_________________________________

Well, you're cursed.

_________________________________

-(ALL GASP)
-What?

_________________________________

Día de los Muertos is

the night to give to the dead.

_________________________________

You stole from the dead!

_________________________________

But I wasn't stealing the guitar.

_________________________________

Guitar?

_________________________________

It was my great-great-grandfather's.

_________________________________

He would have wanted me to have it.

_________________________________

Ah, ah, ah. We do not speak

of that musician.

_________________________________

He is dead to this family.

_________________________________
MIGUEL: Uh, you're all dead.

_________________________________

(SNEEZES)

_________________________________

I am sorry. Whose alebrije is that?

_________________________________

That's just Dante.

_________________________________

He sure doesn't look like an alebrije.

_________________________________

He just looks like a plain old dog.

_________________________________

Or a sausage someone dropped
in a barbershop.

_________________________________

Whatever he is,
I am (SNEEZES) terribly allergic.

_________________________________

But Dante doesn't have any hair.

_________________________________

And I don't have a nose,

and yet, here we are.

_________________________________

(SNEEZES)

_________________________________

But none of this explains

why I couldn't cross over.

_________________________________

Oh! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

_________________________________
(ALL GASP)
_________________________________

You took my photo off the ofrenda?

_________________________________

-It was an accident.

-How do we send him back?

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Well,
since it's a family matter...

_________________________________

the way to undo a family curse
_________________________________
-is to get your family's blessing.

-That's it?

_________________________________

Get your family's blessing

_________________________________

and everything should go
back to normal.

_________________________________

But you got to do it by sunrise.

_________________________________

(STAMMERS)
What happens at sunrise?

_________________________________

Híjole! Your hand!

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________
(GROANS)
_________________________________

Whoa, Miguel,

can't have you fainting on us.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) But not to worry.

Your family's here.

_________________________________

You can get your blessing right now.

_________________________________

Cempasúchil, cempasúchil.

Aha! Perdón, señora.

_________________________________

Oh. (GIGGLES)

_________________________________

Now, you look at the living

and say his name.

_________________________________

Miguel.

_________________________________

Nailed it. Now say,

"I give you my blessing."

_________________________________

I give you my blessing.

_________________________________

I give you my blessing to go home...

_________________________________

to put my photo back on the ofrenda,

_________________________________

and to never play music again.

_________________________________

What? She can't do that!

_________________________________

Well, technically, she can add

any condition she wants.

_________________________________

(SIGHS) Fine.

_________________________________
CLERK: Then you hand

the petal to Miguel.

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________
(LAUGHS IN RELIEF)

_________________________________

 No skeletons!
_________________________________
(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Mariachi Plaza, here I come.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
Two seconds and you already
break your promise.

_________________________________

This isn't fair. It's my life.

You already had yours.

_________________________________

Papá Julio, I ask for your blessing.

_________________________________

-(WHIMPERS)
-Tía Rosita? Oscar?

_________________________________

-(ALL WHIMPERING)
-Felipe? Tía Victoria?

_________________________________

Don't make this hard, mijo.

You go home my way or no way.

_________________________________

You really hate music that much?

_________________________________

I will not let you go down

the same path he did.

_________________________________

The same path he did. He's family.

_________________________________

Listen to your Mamá Imelda.

_________________________________

She's just looking out for you.

_________________________________

Be reasonable.

_________________________________

Con permiso,

I need to visit the restroom.

_________________________________

Be right back.

_________________________________

Uh, should we tell him

there are no restrooms
_________________________________

in the Land of the Dead?

_________________________________

_________________________________
(AUCTIONEER CHATTERING)
_________________________________

Ladies and gentlemen,
the next item up...

_________________________________

a black velvet painting
of a sorrowful kitten.
_________________________________
Bidding starts at 49.99.
_________________________________
850 for the beaver,
_________________________________

the beautifully taxidermied beaver...

_________________________________

...a gently used artificial hip...
_________________________________
and the bidding's open at $10.
Do I hear 20?
_________________________________
AUCTIONEER: Do I hear 350?
Who'll give me 350?
_________________________________
50, 50, 50 now.
_________________________________
-who'll give me 350?
-MALE BIDDER: 400!
_________________________________

Going once,
going twice and sold!
_________________________________
-(BELL DINGS)

-The tortilla chip shaped like
_________________________________

international superstar
Beyoncé Knowles...
_________________________________
goes for 400.
_________________________________

Yay! So happy.

_________________________________
Are you understanding
how this game works?

_________________________________

I think all you have to do is
yell out the biggest number...
_________________________________
and then you win this stuff.
_________________________________

(SCOFFS) And I thought
Q*bert's game was weird.
_________________________________

Hey, kid, hop up here...
_________________________________
and see if you can tell
_________________________________
where they keep their steering wheels.
_________________________________

Uh, there's a bunch of sports
memberabilia.
_________________________________

And big baby clothes called "lingerie."

_________________________________

-RALPH: Huh.
-Go to the right, move right.
_________________________________

Oh. There's a row with a bunch

of old video game junk!
_________________________________

Oh, there it is! There it is!
I see it!
_________________________________

Oh, someone else is trying to win it.
_________________________________

Come on. Hurry, let's go!
_________________________________

We got 275.
_________________________________
And with 30 seconds left
in the auction, we have 275.
_________________________________
RALPH: Move! Move! Hey!
_________________________________
-That's ours! Out of the way!
-Do I hear a three?
_________________________________

-I'll give you three!

- I got three!
_________________________________
Can I get a 305? 305?
Can I give a 3-5?
_________________________________

-305.
-305, can I get a 310?
_________________________________
-Can you bid 310?

-310.
_________________________________
-315.

-320.
_________________________________
325.
_________________________________

Oh, man, this guy is good!
_________________________________

He keeps coming up with

numbers like it's nothing.
_________________________________

I hear three-and-a-quarter.
Do I hear 350?
_________________________________

-350? 350?

-Watch this.
_________________________________

1,000!
_________________________________

1,000!
Now we have a bid of 1,000!
_________________________________

Way to go, kid!
That is a huge number.

_________________________________

-Thank you.

-Check this out.
_________________________________
15,000!
_________________________________

15,000! Do I hear 15-5?
_________________________________
(STAMMERS)
_________________________________
15-fiver!
_________________________________

-16!

-17!
_________________________________

-18!

-20!
_________________________________

-23!

-25!
_________________________________

-27!

-27 and one!
_________________________________

And sold! For 27,001...
_________________________________
to the barefoot hobo
in the broken overalls.
_________________________________

Hey, that's me!
_________________________________

-We won!
-We won!
_________________________________

Congratulations.
Here's your voucher
_________________________________

for auction item 197324579.
_________________________________

Please take it to checkout
for processing.
_________________________________

EBAY ELAYNE:
So, we are set to ship
_________________________________
one Sugar Rush steering wheel...
_________________________________

-RALPH: Mmm-hmmm.
-...to a Litwak's Family
_________________________________
FunLand in Los Aburridos,
California.
_________________________________

Yep.
_________________________________

With expedited shipping,
_________________________________
that should arrive Wednesday morning.
_________________________________

That's two whole days before

Litwak scraps your game.
_________________________________

We're way ahead of schedule.
_________________________________

We rule!
_________________________________

I'll just need a credit card number.
_________________________________

Sorry, what's a credit card number?
_________________________________

A credit card number.
_________________________________

Number. Right.
Uh, seven.

_________________________________

Excuse me?
_________________________________

Sorry, no. You're right,
ridiculous. I meant 11.

_________________________________

Those aren't credit card numbers.
_________________________________

I'm pretty sure they are.
_________________________________

How exactly do you intend

to pay for this item, sir?
_________________________________

You owe $27,001.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

Dollars? Dollars like money?
_________________________________

Yes, and if you don't have a credit card...
_________________________________

we also accept PayPal,
Venmo,
_________________________________

ProPay, SquareCash and BuzzzyBucks.
_________________________________
-Uh...
-(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

You're gonna laugh. Okay.
_________________________________

So this big galoot,
he left his wallet at home.
_________________________________

Yeah, yeah, I did leave
my wallet at home,
_________________________________
in my wallet room.
And the door's locked.
_________________________________
Uh-huh.
_________________________________
Look. If you don't pay within 24 hours...
_________________________________
you will be in violation
of the unpaid item policy...
_________________________________

you will forfeit the bid,
and you will lose this item.
_________________________________

Next!
_________________________________

Hey, buddy, you going to eboy?
_________________________________

Well, I got some free advice
for you. Don't.
_________________________________
What a scam!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING) We were so close,
and we would have gotten...
_________________________________
Look, their signs aren't even real!
_________________________________
(SHOUTS)
_________________________________

What the heck? Dang Internet.
_________________________________
(CHIMING)
_________________________________
(SHOUTING)
_________________________________
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
_________________________________

Hey, kid. What's going on?
What's wrong?
_________________________________

If I don't have the steering wheel,
_________________________________
I don't have the game,
I'm gameless.
_________________________________

There's only one steering
wheel on the whole Internet...
_________________________________
and we blew our chance
to get it. We blew it!

_________________________________

Hey, hey, hey, calm down.
_________________________________

We came here to save your game,
_________________________________

and that's what we're gonna do.
_________________________________
Right.
_________________________________

-Okay?

-Okay, yeah.
_________________________________
(EXHALES)
_________________________________

There you go.
_________________________________
Now look, all we gotta do...
_________________________________

is figure out a way
to earn a little bit of moola.
_________________________________

We're video game characters,
Ralph! We don't have moola.
_________________________________

Unless you can think
of some magical way

_________________________________
to get rich playing video games.
_________________________________
(BOTH GASP)

_________________________________

_________________________________
(PANTING)
_________________________________
(GASPS)

_________________________________

Vámonos.

_________________________________

PATROLWOMAN: We got a family

looking for a living boy.

_________________________________

If I want to be a musician,

I need a musician's blessing.

_________________________________

We got to find my great-great-grandpa.

_________________________________

-Hold it, muchaco.

-(GASPS)

_________________________________
(SHOUTS)
_________________________________

I found that living boy!

_________________________________

Oh, whoa, excuse me. Excuse me, folks.

_________________________________

Excuse me.

_________________________________
Oh.

_________________________________

No, no. Dante!

_________________________________

Disturbing the peace. Fleeing an officer.

_________________________________

Falsifying a unibrow.

_________________________________

-That's illegal?

-Very illegal.

_________________________________

You need to clean up your act, amigo.

_________________________________

Amigo? Oh, that's so nice

to hear you say that
_________________________________
because I have just had a...
_________________________________
really hard Día de Muertos

and I could really use
_________________________________

-an amigo right now.
-(SIGHS)

_________________________________

And amigos, they help their amigos.

_________________________________

You get me across that bridge tonight,

and I'll make it worth your while.

_________________________________

Oh! You like de la Cruz?

He and I go way back.

_________________________________

I can get you front row seats

to his Sunrise Spectacular show.

_________________________________

I'll get you backstage.

You can meet him.

_________________________________

You just got to let me cross that bridge!

_________________________________

I should lock you up

for the rest of the holiday.

_________________________________

But my shift's almost up
and I want to visit my living family.

_________________________________

So I'm letting you off with a warning.

_________________________________

Can I at least get my costume back?

_________________________________

Uh... No.

_________________________________

(GROANS) Some amigo.

_________________________________

Hey! Hey! You really know de la Cruz?

_________________________________

Who wants to... Ahh! Ay! You're alive!

_________________________________

Shh! Yeah, I'm alive.

_________________________________

And if I want to get back to

the Land of the Living...

_________________________________

I need de la Cruz's blessing.

_________________________________

That's weirdly specific.

_________________________________

He's my great-great-grandfather.

_________________________________

(STAMMERING) He's your Gr... What?

_________________________________

Ugh.

_________________________________

Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. (GASPS)

_________________________________

Wait. No, wait, wait, wait.
_________________________________
Wait! Yes! You're going back

to the Land of the Living!

_________________________________

You know what?
Maybe this isn't such a good...

_________________________________

No, no, niño! Niño, niño,
I can help you. You can help me.
_________________________________

We can help each other.

_________________________________

But most importantly, you can help me.

_________________________________

-Miguel!

-I'm Héctor.
_________________________________

-That's nice.
-(YELPS)

_________________________________

Espérame, chamaco!

_________________________________

(ALL GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Ay, he is going to get himself killed!

_________________________________

I need my spirit guide...

Pepita. (WHISTLES)

_________________________________
(SCREECHING)
_________________________________

Who has that petal Miguel touched?

_________________________________

-(GROWLING)
-Here. Nice alebrije.

_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
_________________________________
(SNARLING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

Yeah, I got your Mr. Mop.

_________________________________

Watch it, twerp.

_________________________________

(MURMURING)

_________________________________

What are you looking at, weirdo?

_________________________________

Yeah, weirdo.

_________________________________

(HISSING)

_________________________________

Cabin boys should learn

to mind their own business.

_________________________________

Why? You got something to hide,

bright eyes?

_________________________________

Maybe your ears don't work so well.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS) Yeah. Ahem.

_________________________________

Too bad my nose works just fine.

_________________________________

Why, you impudent little...

_________________________________

(CREW SHOUTING)

_________________________________

-Go ahead! Slice him! Dice him!

-(FARTING NOISE)

_________________________________

Any last words, cabin boy?

_________________________________

Mr. Scroop,

_________________________________

you ever see what happens

to a fresh purp

_________________________________

when you squeeze real hard?

_________________________________

ARROW: What's all this, then?

_________________________________

You know the rules.

_________________________________

There'll be no brawling on this ship.

_________________________________

Aye-aye, sir.

_________________________________

Any further offenders

will be confined to the brig

_________________________________

for the remainder of the voyage.

_________________________________

Am I clear, Mr. Scroop?

_________________________________

Transparently.

_________________________________

SILVER: Well done, Mr. Arrow, sir!

_________________________________

A tight ship's a happy ship, sir.

_________________________________

Jimbo, I gave you a job.

_________________________________

Hey, I was doing it until that bug thing...

_________________________________

Belay that! Now, I want

this deck swabbed spotless,

_________________________________

and heaven help you

if I come back and it's not done.

_________________________________

Morph? Keep an eye on this pup,

_________________________________

and let me know if there be

any more distractions.

_________________________________

Okay. Aye-aye.

_________________________________

(CHATTERING)

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

(CREW GRUMBLING)

_________________________________

So, we're all here, then.

_________________________________

-Excuse me.

-Fine.

_________________________________

Now, if you pardon

my plain speaking, gentlemen,

_________________________________

are you all

_________________________________

-stark-raving, totally blinking daft?

-(CHATTERS)

_________________________________

After all me finagling getting us hired

_________________________________

as an upstanding crew,

_________________________________

you want to blow the whole mutiny

before its time?

_________________________________

The boy was sniffing about.

_________________________________

You just stick to the plan,

you bug-brained twit.

_________________________________

As for the boy, I'll run him so ragged,

_________________________________

he won't have time to think.

_________________________________

_________________________________
HELEN: What are we gonna do?
_________________________________

BOB: I don't know.
_________________________________

Maybe Dicker will find something?
_________________________________

Dicker is gone, Bob.
_________________________________

Any thought we had about being
Supers again is fantasy.

_________________________________

One of us has gotta get a job.
_________________________________

One of us?
_________________________________

You did a long stint at Insuricare.
_________________________________

Hated every minute of it.
_________________________________

I know it was hard on you.

_________________________________
Maybe it's my turn in the private sector
_________________________________
and you take care of the kids...

_________________________________

No, I'm doing this.
I need to do this.

_________________________________

You know where my suit and ties are?
_________________________________

Burned up when...
_________________________________

BOTH:
The jet destroyed our house.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
_________________________________

We can't count
on anyone else now, Bob.
_________________________________
It's just us.

_________________________________

-We can't wait for...
-(DOOR BANGS)
_________________________________

LUCIUS: No lifeguard on duty!
_________________________________

Swim at your own risk.
_________________________________

Oh, where'd you go today?
_________________________________

I noticed you missed all the fun.
_________________________________

LUCIUS: Don't be mad because
I know when to leave a party.

_________________________________

I'm just as illegal as you guys.
_________________________________
Besides, I knew the cops
would let you go.

_________________________________

Yeah, in spite of Bob's best efforts.
_________________________________

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
_________________________________

I heard the program shut down.

_________________________________
How much longer are you in this motel?
_________________________________

Two weeks.
_________________________________

Now, you know the offer still stands.
_________________________________

You're very generous,
but there are five of us.
_________________________________

We wouldn't do that to you and Honey.
_________________________________

Well, door's always open.
_________________________________

You know,
the news isn't all bad.
_________________________________

While you guys were being detained...
_________________________________

I was approached by a dude

who represents this tycoon.
_________________________________

BOB: Winston Deavor.

LUCIUS: Wants to talk...
_________________________________
with me, with you two,
about hero stuff.

_________________________________

LUCIUS: I checked him out.
_________________________________
He's legit.
_________________________________

Trained under Dicker.
He wants to meet.

_________________________________

Ah, jeez!
More superhero trouble.
_________________________________

We just came from the
police station, Lucius.

_________________________________

When?
_________________________________

Tonight. I'm going there now.
_________________________________

You enjoy,
I'm sitting this one out.
_________________________________

He wants all three of us.
_________________________________

Honey, let's just at least
hear what he has to say.
_________________________________

You got the address,
I'll meet you guys there.

_________________________________

Go in our Supersuits?
_________________________________

Yeah.
_________________________________
Might wanna wear the old Supersuits.
_________________________________

Got a feeling he's nostalgic.
_________________________________

Where are you going?
_________________________________

The fresh air is especially good tonight.

_________________________________
If Jack-Jack wakes up...
_________________________________

I know the drill.
_________________________________
(DOOR CLOSES)
_________________________________

Your security badges.
Please, this way.

_________________________________

Hey, listen,
you're my biggest fan.
_________________________________
-Good to see you.
-(STAMMERING)
_________________________________

I'm your biggest fan.
Shoot!

_________________________________
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
_________________________________

WINSTON: I love superheroes!
_________________________________

The powers, the costumes...
_________________________________

the mythic struggles.
_________________________________

Winston Deavor.
You can call me Win.
_________________________________

Genuine pleasure to meet you.
_________________________________

-Frozone!
-It's good to see you.
_________________________________

-Elastigirl.

-Nice to meet you.

_________________________________
-Mr. Incredible!

-Hello.
_________________________________

♪ Mr. Incredible, Incredible
_________________________________
BOTH:
♪ Incredible
_________________________________

♪ Catching the bad guys

Pow, pow, pow ♪
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGH)
_________________________________

♪ Who's the cat
Who's always chill
_________________________________

♪ When survival odds
Are close to nil
_________________________________

♪ Frozone
Frozone
_________________________________

BOTH:
♪ Frozone ♪

_________________________________

-Yeah!
-(ALL LAUGH)
_________________________________

Can't tell you what a thrill
this is. And this...
_________________________________

Oh, hello there, superheroes.
I'm so sorry I'm late.

_________________________________

...is my tardy sister, Evelyn.
_________________________________

And I'm scolding myself
so you don't have to, Winston!
_________________________________

Spectacular.
_________________________________

My father was so proud
_________________________________
that I was even remotely
connected to you guys.

_________________________________

He used to call you
the last line of defense.
_________________________________

He was your top supporter.
_________________________________

He donated to superhero causes.
_________________________________

He raised money
_________________________________
for the Dynaguy statue in Avery Park.

_________________________________

He got to know many Supers personally.
_________________________________

Even installed a phone
_________________________________
with direct lines
to Gazerbeam and Fironic...

_________________________________
in case of emergencies.
_________________________________

He loved that,
showed it off to everyone.

_________________________________

He was heartbroken
_________________________________
when you were all forced
to go underground.

_________________________________

Father believed the world
_________________________________
would become more dangerous
without you.

_________________________________

He didn't know how right he was.
_________________________________

There was a break-in.
_________________________________
(BOTH GASP)
_________________________________

WINSTON:
My father called Gazerbeam.
_________________________________
The direct line.
_________________________________

-(LINE BEEPS)
-No answer.
_________________________________

He called Fironic, no answer.

_________________________________

Superheroes had just been
made illegal...
_________________________________

The robbers discovered him
on the phone...

_________________________________
-and shot him.
-(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

So...
_________________________________

ELASTIGIRL:
It must've been hard.
_________________________________

EVELYN: Especially for Mother.
_________________________________

She died a few months later.
Heartbreak.

_________________________________

If superheroes had not been
forced underground...

_________________________________
it never would've happened.
_________________________________

Or Dad could've taken Mom
to the safe room
_________________________________

as soon as he knew there was trouble.
_________________________________

I disagree strongly!
_________________________________
But we're not going into it right now.

_________________________________

The point is...
_________________________________
nobody expected us
_________________________________

to be able to actually run
Dad's company.

_________________________________

But with Evelyn as designer,

and myself as operator...
_________________________________

uh, we threw ourselves
into building DEVTECH
_________________________________
into what it is today.

_________________________________

FROZONE: A world-class

telecommunications company.
_________________________________

Bigger than ever.
_________________________________

Perfectly positioned to make
some wrong things right.

_________________________________

Hence, this meeting.
_________________________________

Let me ask you something.
_________________________________

What is the main reason
_________________________________
you were all forced underground?

_________________________________

-Ignorance.

-Perception.
_________________________________

Take today for example,
with the Underminer.

_________________________________

Difficult situation.
_________________________________
You were faced
with a lot of hard decisions.

_________________________________

Oh, tell me about it.
_________________________________

WINSTON: I can't.
_________________________________

Because, I didn't see it...
_________________________________

neither did anyone else.
_________________________________

So, when you fight bad guys like today...
_________________________________

people don't see the fight
or what led up to it.

_________________________________

They see what politicians
tell them to see.

_________________________________

They see destruction and they see you.
_________________________________

So, if we wanna change
_________________________________
people's perceptions
about superheroes...

_________________________________

we need you
_________________________________
to share your perceptions with the world.

_________________________________

-How do we do that?

-EVELYN: With cameras.
_________________________________

We need you to share your

perceptions with the world.
_________________________________

ELASTIGIRL: How do we do that?
_________________________________

EVELYN: We embed tiny cameras,
like those,
_________________________________

into your Supersuits.
_________________________________

Wow, so small.
_________________________________

And the picture is outstanding.
_________________________________

Thanks! Designed 'em myself.
_________________________________

WINSTON: We've got resources,
lobbyists,
_________________________________
worldwide connections...
_________________________________
and very important, insurance.
_________________________________

Insurance is key.

_________________________________
All we need now
are the super-est superheroes.

_________________________________

It needs you three.
Come on!
_________________________________

Help me make all Supers legal again.
_________________________________

This sounds great!
_________________________________

Let's get this going.
What's my first assignment?

_________________________________
That enthusiasm is golden.
(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

Now hold on to it.
But for our first move...

_________________________________
Well, Elastigirl is our best play.

_________________________________

-Better than me?

-(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

I mean, she's good.
_________________________________

(STAMMERING)
Really, a credit to her...
_________________________________

You know. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
You know.
_________________________________

With great respect...
_________________________________
let's not test the whole
_________________________________

"insurance-will-pay-
for-everything" idea...
_________________________________

-on the first go 'round, okay?
-(FROZONE CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Wait a minute.
You're saying what? I'm messy?

_________________________________

Well, Evelyn did
a cost-benefit analysis...
_________________________________
comparing all your last
five years of crime-fighting

_________________________________

before going underground.
_________________________________

And Elastigirl's numbers
are self-explanatory.
_________________________________

Well, it's not a fair comparison!
_________________________________

Heavyweight problems

need heavyweight solutions.
_________________________________

Of course! We're gonna solve
_________________________________

all kinds of problems together.
_________________________________

After the perfect launch with Elastigirl!
_________________________________

So, what do you say?
_________________________________

What do I say? (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________
I don't know.
_________________________________

What do you mean,
you don't know?
_________________________________

A few hours ago,
you were saying it was over...
_________________________________

and being a superhero was a fantasy.
_________________________________

Now, you get the offer of a lifetime
_________________________________

and you don't know?
_________________________________

It's not that simple, Bob.

I wanna protect the kids!
_________________________________

So do I.
_________________________________

From jail, Bob!
_________________________________

-(SPITS)
-BOB: And how do you do that?
_________________________________

By turning down the chance
to change the law

_________________________________
that forces them to hide what they are?

_________________________________

They haven't decided what
they are. They're still kids.

_________________________________

Kids with powers,
which makes them Supers...

_________________________________

whether they decide
to use those powers or not.

_________________________________

This will benefit them.
_________________________________

It's not a good time to be away.

_________________________________
Dash is having trouble with homework...

_________________________________

Vi is worried about her first date
_________________________________
with that boy she likes,
Tony...

_________________________________

and Jack-Jack...
_________________________________

Jack-Jack?
What's wrong with him?

_________________________________
Okay, nothing's wrong with Jack-Jack.
_________________________________

But, even a normal baby

needs a lot of attention.
_________________________________

I'm just not sure I can leave.
_________________________________

Of course you can leave.

_________________________________
You've got to. So that I...
_________________________________

we could be Supers again,
_________________________________

so our kids can have that choice.
_________________________________

(SCOFFS)
So you can have that choice.
_________________________________

All right, yes!
_________________________________

So I can have that choice.
_________________________________

And I would do a great job!
_________________________________

Regardless of what Deavor's

pie charts say or whatever...
_________________________________

But they want you.
_________________________________

(STRAINED)
And you'll do a great...
_________________________________

job...
_________________________________
too.
_________________________________

(INHALES SHARPLY) Well, that
was excruciating to watch.

_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES)
-I can't lie to you.
_________________________________
It's nice to be wanted.

Flattery, you know, but...
_________________________________
But what's the choice?

_________________________________
One, do this right,
_________________________________
get well paid,
we're out of the motel...

_________________________________

and things get better for all Supers,
_________________________________

including our kids.
_________________________________

Or two...
_________________________________
I find a job in two weeks
or we're homeless.

_________________________________

You know it's crazy, right?
_________________________________

To help my family,
I gotta leave it.
_________________________________

To fix the law,
I gotta break it.
_________________________________

You'll be great.
_________________________________

I know I will.
_________________________________

But what about you?
We have kids.
_________________________________

I'll watch the kids,
no problem.

_________________________________
-Easy.

-Easy, huh?
_________________________________
You're adorable.
_________________________________

Well, if there is a problem,
_________________________________
I'll drop this thing and come right back.

_________________________________

You won't need to.
_________________________________

I got it,
you go do this thing.
_________________________________

Do it so...
_________________________________

I can do it better. (GRUNTS)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(DIM ROARING)
_________________________________

Get back! Get back!

Get back, you horrible beast!
_________________________________

I have no fear!
_________________________________

Oh, my goodness.
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

(CROWD BOOING)
_________________________________

(BAND PLAYS FLOURISH)
_________________________________

Oh, I'm so sorry, Dim. An owie?
_________________________________

Okay, show Rosie the owie.

All right, Dim. It's okay.
_________________________________

(BUZZING)
_________________________________

I have been in outhouses

that didn't stink that bad.
_________________________________

This is ridiculous.

What a disappointment.
_________________________________

-(GASPS) No!

-You! Come here!
_________________________________

I want my money back!
_________________________________

No refunds after the first two minutes.
_________________________________

Popcorn! Stale popcorn!
_________________________________

We're losing the audience!

You clowns get out there now!
_________________________________

I hate performing

on an empty stomach!
_________________________________

Do your act, Heimlich.
_________________________________

-Then you can eat.

-SLIM: P.T., what's the point?
_________________________________

Not now, Slim.
_________________________________

What's the point of going out there?

They'll only laugh at me.
_________________________________

-That's because you're a clown!

-No, it's because I'm a prop!
_________________________________

You always cast me as the broom,

the pole, the stick, a splinter.
_________________________________

You're a walking stick. It's funny!
_________________________________

-Now go!

-You parasite.
_________________________________

(CROWD BOOING)
_________________________________

(PLAYING FLOURISH)
_________________________________

Tra la, la, la, la.
_________________________________

Spring is in the air.
_________________________________

And I'm a flower

with nothing interesting to say. A bee!
_________________________________

I am a cute little bumblebee!
_________________________________

Here I come!
_________________________________

(SLIM SHOUTING)
_________________________________

(PANTING) Slow down, you flowers!
_________________________________

Candy corn! Here. Here.

Let me help you to finish it.
_________________________________

Hey, cutie!

Want to pollinate with a real bug?
_________________________________

(LAUGHING RAUCOUSLY)
_________________________________

Come to Papa, yeah!
_________________________________

So, being a ladybug

automatically makes me a girl,
_________________________________

is that it, fly boy?
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

-She's a guy!

-Francis, leave them alone.
_________________________________

-They are poo-poo heads!

-Not again.
_________________________________

Judging by your breath,
_________________________________

you must have been

buzzing around a dung heap all day.
_________________________________

Come on, Francis.

You're making the maggots cry.
_________________________________

(OPERATIC VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

All right, we're dying out there.

Gypsy, quick! You and Manny...
_________________________________

Shh. He's in a trance.
_________________________________

Well, get him out of it!

You and your husband are up now.
_________________________________

Manny, we're on.
_________________________________

Oh? Yet again it is up to me

to rescue the performance.
_________________________________

Gypsy, come.
_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

(CRASH)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

-The stage is the other way, dear.

-Yes, of course.
_________________________________

Anytime, pal! I'm gonna pick

the hairs out of your head one by one!
_________________________________

-Take your best shot!

-You name the place!
_________________________________

-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah, 'cause when you get there,
_________________________________

-you are dead!

-Francis, let me handle this.
_________________________________

-That's no way to speak to a lady.

-I heard that, you twig.
_________________________________

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me

to present Manto the Magnificent
_________________________________

and his lovely assistant, Gypsy!
_________________________________

(GONG SOUNDING)
_________________________________

From the most mysterious regions

of uncharted Asia,
_________________________________

I give you the Chinese Cabinet
_________________________________

of Metamorphosis!
_________________________________

Rosie, whole troupe.

On stage! Finale! Now!
_________________________________

-Okay, I just need a little time to...

-Now!
_________________________________

Coming. Coming. Tuck, Roll,

let's get moving, guys. We're up next.
_________________________________

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
_________________________________

Don't you understand? We are up!
_________________________________

"Up-a."
_________________________________

-BOTH: Hey!

-Hey! They don't understand me.
_________________________________

I summon the voice of Confucius...
_________________________________

Get off the stage, you old hack!
_________________________________

I demand to know who said that!
_________________________________

How dare you!
_________________________________

(CROWD BOOING)
_________________________________

Ingrates!
_________________________________

Manny? Manny!
_________________________________

I only got 24 hours to live,

and I ain't gonna waste it here.
_________________________________

Come on.
_________________________________

(BUZZING)
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

I've just about had it with these losers!
_________________________________

Flaming death!
_________________________________

I hold in my hand the match,
_________________________________

the match that decides whether

two bugs live or die this very evening.
_________________________________

In a moment, I will light

this trail of matches,
_________________________________

leading to a sheet of flypaper

doused in lighter fluid!
_________________________________

Aimed directly at the flypaper

are Tuck and Roll,
_________________________________

the pill-bug cannonballs!
_________________________________

The cannon will be triggered by Dim,
_________________________________

trained to jump

at the sound of this bell,
_________________________________

set to go off in 15 seconds.
_________________________________

Our pill bugs' only hope of survival
_________________________________

is our mistress of the high wire, Rosie!
_________________________________

Secured to a web line of exact length,
_________________________________

Rosie will plummet down

to these two posts,
_________________________________

spinning a web of safety

in less than 15 seconds!
_________________________________

Not good enough, you say?

Well, what if they were all
_________________________________

blindfolded?
_________________________________

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I suggest that those of you
_________________________________

with weak constitutions

leave the arena,
_________________________________

for this act is so dangerous
_________________________________

that if the slightest thing

should go wrong...
_________________________________

-No!

-Go? Okay, through the tunnel...
_________________________________
GYPSY: Whoa!

_________________________________

(TIMER DINGS)
_________________________________

-Okay, that's done!

-Whoa!
_________________________________

-P.T.!

-Oh, no!
_________________________________
P.T. FLEA: Rosie!

_________________________________

-We need some water!

-Water, water, water, water!
_________________________________

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
P.T. FLEA: Get me out of here!

_________________________________

Wow!
_________________________________

-It's the web. I'm sorry. It's...

-You're all fired.
_________________________________
SLIM: We got the water!
HEIMLICH: Here we come, P.T.!

_________________________________

(CLAPPING)
_________________________________

Whoo! Whoa!
_________________________________

Burn him again!

_________________________________

_________________________________

And here's what you've been

waiting for, fellas.

_________________________________

Your very own Oozma Kappa bedroom.

_________________________________

Oh... Great! We're sharing this room?

_________________________________

We'll let you guys get settled.

_________________________________

Anything you need,

you just give a big holler-oonie!

_________________________________

Okay, thanks, buddy.

Are you kidding me?

_________________________________

Look, they don't need to be good.

I'm going to carry the whole team.

_________________________________

Really? And who's going to carry you?

_________________________________

Hey, if you want to go back

to can design,

_________________________________

you know where the door is.

_________________________________

(FLICKING LIGHT SWITCH)

_________________________________

Great.

_________________________________

Guys?

_________________________________

Anybody home?

_________________________________

(CREAKING)

_________________________________

Um...

_________________________________

(STAMMERS) Hello?

_________________________________

Fellas?

_________________________________

Do you pledge your souls

_________________________________

to the Oozma Kappa brotherhood?

_________________________________

-Ow!

-Do you swear to

_________________________________

-keep secret...

-...all that you learn here?

_________________________________

No matter how horrifying?

_________________________________

Hey!

_________________________________

Will you take the sacred oath

of the... (GASPS)

_________________________________

-For crying out loud.

-Sweetie!

_________________________________

Turn the lights on

while you're down here!

_________________________________

You're going to ruin your eyes!

_________________________________

Mom! We're doing an initiation!

_________________________________

Oh, scary. Well, carry on.

_________________________________

Just pretend I'm not here.

_________________________________

This is my mom's house.

_________________________________

Do you promise to look out

for your brothers...

_________________________________

(DIAL CRANKING)

_________________________________

...no matter what the peril?

_________________________________

(WASHING MACHINE WHIRRING)

_________________________________

Will you defend Oozma Kappa

no matter how dangerous?

_________________________________

No matter how insurmountable

the odds may be?

_________________________________

From evils both great and small?

_________________________________

In the face of unending pain and...

_________________________________

Oh, forget it! You're in.

_________________________________

Look, we know

we're no one's first choice

_________________________________

for a fraternity,

_________________________________

so it means a lot

to have you here with us.

_________________________________

Can't wait to start Scaring

with you, brothers.

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)

_________________________________

-Time for a celebration!

-Yeah!

_________________________________

Grab the couch cushions, gentlemen,

_________________________________

because we're building a fort!

_________________________________

Mom, can we stay up late tonight?
_________________________________

_________________________________

MAN 1: Forty seconds.

MAN 2: All right. Here we go.

_________________________________

(TRUCK ENGINE STARTS)

_________________________________

-(CAR HORNS HONKING)

-(SIRENS WAILING)

_________________________________

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

_________________________________

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)

_________________________________

You see the feet walkin'

down the street in the fast lane
_________________________________

Walkin' on the street where they goin'
_________________________________

Just makin' a move tryin' to survive
_________________________________

Find a way or not to stay alive
_________________________________

Cool cat in a cruel world knows

good from bad, his mind is in a swirl
_________________________________

Got to look out and open your eyes
_________________________________

If you're in a jam you got to realize
_________________________________

-You're in the fast lane

-Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute

_________________________________

-In the fast lane

-Wait, wait, wait

_________________________________

-Hi. Sorry I'm late.

-That's all right.

_________________________________

Come on, sweetheart. We're late.

_________________________________

You can play with the kitty

some other time, honey. Come on.

_________________________________

-(TIRES SCREECHING)

-(HORN HONKING)

_________________________________

-MAN: (HUMMING) Hey, 'scusa me.

-(MEOWS)

_________________________________

Don't ya see I'm pushin'

somethin' here? Thank you.

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(LOUIE SINGING IN ITALIAN)

_________________________________

(CONTINUES SINGING)

_________________________________

Hey, come on, folks! Step right up.

_________________________________

-Get your hot dogs.

-(SNIFFING)

_________________________________

The best hot dogs in New York.

_________________________________

(SINGING)

_________________________________

Hey, it's a beautiful day, eh?

Come on, folks.

_________________________________

Step right up. (WHISTLING)

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)

_________________________________

Hey! Go on. Get outta here. Shoo!

_________________________________

Get outta here. Go on, kitty.

_________________________________
Get your sausages.

_________________________________

All right, let's go, folks.

_________________________________

Step right up.

I got the hottest dogs in the Big Apple!

_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

Psst. Psst.

_________________________________

(KISSING)

_________________________________

Hiya.

_________________________________

-(GASPS) Hmph!

-Ooh. La-de-da.

_________________________________

LOUIE: Hey! Hey, get off of me!

_________________________________

-What's the matter with you?

-Well, well.

_________________________________

LOUIE: I said get outta here.

_________________________________

DODGER:

Looks like Louie's got a visitor.

_________________________________

Could be time for the Dodge to turn

this into a total "cat-astrophe."

_________________________________

Get off me! Get outta here. Go on! Shoo!

_________________________________

Ooh, you sure picked the wrong guy

to get hot dogs from, kid.

_________________________________

-Get away from me!

-Whoa! Chill out, man.

_________________________________

I don't eat cats. It's too much fur.

_________________________________

I've been watching you,

_________________________________

and I think you're in serious need

of some professional guidance.

_________________________________

Now what do ya say we team up

and change old Louie's mind

_________________________________

about sharing those hot dogs?

_________________________________

I'm not goin' back there again.

_________________________________

Hey. It'd be a snap, kid.

I'm an expert at these things.

_________________________________

All you gotta do is learn some moves.

_________________________________

-Moves?

-You know. Tempo.

_________________________________

Ooo-cha-ba. A rhythm.

_________________________________

This city's got a beat.

You gotta hook into it.

_________________________________

And once you got the beat,
you can do anything.

_________________________________

-Loan?

-"Absitively posolutely."

_________________________________

The man you see before you

is affectionately known as "Old Louie."

_________________________________

A well-known enemy

of the four-legged world.

_________________________________

Our mission, cat, is to liberate

those all-beef kosher franks

_________________________________

and hightail it outta here.

_________________________________

-Startin' to feel that rhythm?

-Well, uh...

_________________________________

Yeah! Yeah!

_________________________________

I do feel it! When are we gonna get

those hot dogs?

_________________________________

Right now.

_________________________________

-(BARKING)

-(YELPING)

_________________________________

Hey! Dog.

_________________________________

(GASPS) Hey! Get outta here! Hey!

_________________________________

(GIGGLING)

_________________________________

Hey! Hey. Get outta there!

_________________________________

-(OLIVER SCREECHING)

-(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

I'll get you! (GROANS)

_________________________________

Kitty!

_________________________________

-(DODGER HUMMING)

-(GASPS)

_________________________________

Hey, you really got that rhythm, kid.

_________________________________

Uh... Yeah?

_________________________________

We were good, huh?

So when are we gonna eat?

_________________________________

-We?

-Yeah. I'm starvin'.

_________________________________

Listen, kid. I hate to break it to ya,

_________________________________

but the dynamic duo

is now the dynamic uno.

_________________________________

What do ya mean?

_________________________________

What I mean is,

our partnership is herewith dissolved.

_________________________________

But, wait! Wait. You're not being fair!

_________________________________

Fairs are for tourists, kid. Consider it

a free lesson in street savoir faire

_________________________________

from New York's coolest quadruped.

_________________________________

Check ya later.

_________________________________

Hey, wait! I helped you get those!

_________________________________

Half of those are mine!

_________________________________

Ya want 'em? Come and get 'em.

(HOWLS)

_________________________________

Uh-huh

_________________________________

But I'm warnin' ya, kid.

_________________________________

(SINGING)

One minute, I'm in Central Park

_________________________________
Then I'm down on Delancey Street

_________________________________

What the... Hey!

_________________________________

Say, from the Bowery

to St. Mark's
_________________________________

There's a syncopated beat
_________________________________

Like I said

Woo-hoo
_________________________________

Woo-hoo-oo
_________________________________

I'm street wise
_________________________________

I can improvise
_________________________________

Said ooo-hoo woo-hoo-oo
_________________________________

I'm street smart
_________________________________

I've got New York City heart
_________________________________

Why should I worry
_________________________________

Why should I care
_________________________________

I may not have a dime
_________________________________

But I got street savoir faire
_________________________________

Why should I worry
_________________________________

Why should I care
_________________________________

It's just be-bopulation
_________________________________

I got street savoir faire
_________________________________

Mmm-hmm
_________________________________

The rhythm of the city
_________________________________

Boy, once you get it down
_________________________________

Then you can own this town
_________________________________

You can wear the crown
_________________________________

Why should I worry
_________________________________

Tell me why should I care
_________________________________

Say, I may not have a dime
_________________________________

Oh, but I got street savoir faire
_________________________________

Why should I worry
_________________________________

Why should I care
_________________________________

It's just doo-wopulation
_________________________________

And I got street savoir faire
_________________________________

Everything goes, everything fits
_________________________________

They love me at the Chelsea

They adore me at the Ritz
_________________________________

Why should I worry
_________________________________

Why should I care Yeah
_________________________________

And even when I cross that line
_________________________________

I got street savoir faire
_________________________________

Woo-hoo
_________________________________

Said ooo-ooo woo-hoo-oo

_________________________________

-Whoa!

-(DOGS BARKING)

_________________________________

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-oo

_________________________________

-(BLUBBERING)

-(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

Woo-ooo woo-hoo-oo

_________________________________

Woo-hoo woo-ooo-oo

_________________________________

Come on. Where you goin'? No! No!

_________________________________

Woo-hoo woo-hoo-oo
_________________________________

Woo-hoo-woo-ooo-oo
_________________________________

(HORNS HONKING)
_________________________________

(HOWLING)
_________________________________

Woo-hoo woo-hoo-oo
_________________________________

Woo-hoo woo-hoo-oo

_________________________________

(HOWLING)

_________________________________

Woo-hoo-woo-hoo-oo

_________________________________

Woo-hoo woo-hoo-oo

_________________________________

(CAWING)

_________________________________

(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)

_________________________________

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

_________________________________

(MAN SCATTING)

_________________________________

(SNORING)

_________________________________

Huh?

_________________________________

Tito! Stop that racket!

I'm trying to watch this show.

_________________________________

There would have been a time

for such a word.
_________________________________

Oh, tomorrow, tomorrow

and tomorrow creeps...

_________________________________
(MOUTHING WORDS)
_________________________________

In this petty pace from day to day

and all our yesterdays
_________________________________

have lighted fools

the way to dusty death.

_________________________________
Hey, Frankie, whatcha watchin'?

_________________________________
Hey, does he get the girl?

I mean, what happens?

_________________________________
Shut up, you little rodent.

_________________________________
Hey, man, this stuff is boring, man.

_________________________________
Come on, let's watch some boxing.

I wanna see some action.

_________________________________
(LAUGHING) Hey, Frankie. Que' peso'?

You're getting slow, man.

_________________________________
-(LAUGHS)

-My name is Francis.

_________________________________
Francis. Not Frank.

_________________________________
Not Frankie. Francis.

_________________________________

No kidding, man? Hey, so what did

you bring in today, "Frahn-cees"?

_________________________________
It's none of your business,

you intrusive little pipsqueak.

_________________________________
Look what I got.

_________________________________
Oh, good show, Einstein.

Now all we need is the court and the net.
_________________________________

You think this place is big enough?
_________________________________

Hey, come on. What we need is

some good quality stuff, man.
_________________________________

-Check it out.

-Oh, shredded leather.

_________________________________
Shredded what? What you talkin' about,

man? That's a primo wallet, man.

_________________________________
-Rubbish, you mean.

-All right, that does it, Frankie, man!

_________________________________
You insulted my pride!

That means death!

_________________________________
-FRANCIS: Behold. The runt of the litter.

-Cut it out, you two.
_________________________________

-Frankie! Frankie!

-Arf!
_________________________________

Fagin's not gonna be too happy
about this.
_________________________________

So, Francis, you got the food, right?
_________________________________

-Well, no. I...

-Ooh, Frankie.

_________________________________
Frankie.

It was your turn to get the food today.

_________________________________
-It's newspaper burritos again!

-DODGER: Hey.

_________________________________
Whoa. Whoa. Cool it, Dodger fans.

_________________________________
I'd like to introduce you to...

Your dinner.

_________________________________

-Hot dogs à la Dodger.

-Hot dogs! All right, Dodger man!

_________________________________
FRANCIS: You remain

our preeminent benefactor.

_________________________________
EINSTEIN: Yeah. And you're okay, too.

_________________________________
RITA: So how'd you do it

this time, Dodgie baby?
_________________________________

Let me tell you, Rita. It was tough.

Only I could have done it.
_________________________________

Did you have to fight, man?

Did you fight? How many were there?
_________________________________

Picture the city.
_________________________________

Eighth and Broadway.

The crowds hustling.
_________________________________

The traffic roaring.

The hot dogs are sizzling.
_________________________________

I love a story with food in it.
_________________________________

Enter Dodger, one bad puppy.
_________________________________

Not just out for himself,
but community minded.
_________________________________

But he's not the only one out there.
_________________________________

-Enter the opposition.

-(SIGHS)

_________________________________
-A greedy, ugly, psychotic monster...

-(GULPS)
_________________________________

With razor-sharp claws, dripping fangs,
_________________________________

and nine lives, all of them hungry.
_________________________________

He comes at me, eyes burning.

I knew my time had come.
_________________________________

-Suddenly...

-(SCREECHES)

_________________________________
Gang war! Gang war!
_________________________________

Watch out! Here comes a gang war!

_________________________________
-Help!

-FRANCIS: Take cover!

_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Well, what is it?
_________________________________

Hey, man, check it out.
_________________________________

(SNIFFING) Ay, it's a alien!
_________________________________

Cool it, guys. It's just a cat.
_________________________________
-Mi madre, un gato!

-Felis domesticus!

_________________________________

Now, how'd you find this place, cat?

_________________________________

(STAMMERS) I followed this dog.

_________________________________

He's lying! He's lying!

He's lying! He's lying!

_________________________________

Shut up, Tito!

_________________________________

-Why would a cat follow a dog?

-Yeah?

_________________________________

I... I just wanted some of the sausages

I helped him get.

_________________________________

He's a spy, man! Come on,

let's eat him. You're dead meat, kitty.

_________________________________

I... I saw him come down.

_________________________________

Hey! That's...

Hey, that's him! Over there.

_________________________________

-Hmm?

-Hey, kitty. What took you so long?

_________________________________

-RITA: Relax, kid.

-(DOGS LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Dodger, razor-sharp claws?

_________________________________

-Dripping fangs?

-I kind of like those burning eyes.

_________________________________

Hey, keep it down, guys.

The game's on.

_________________________________

Oh, boy, Dodger.

Top dog has to get help from a cat.

_________________________________

(GIGGLING)

_________________________________

Hey, Tito, cool it, man.

_________________________________

Come on. Let's see this big,

bad kitty fight in action.

_________________________________

Hey, Tito, look!

_________________________________

(SHOUTS)

_________________________________

Oh, boy! Dog pile!

_________________________________

-(GRUNTING)

-Oh, what a bunch of overgrown... Oof!

_________________________________

All right. That's it.

_________________________________

(FIGHTING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

-(BARKING)

-(YELPING)

_________________________________

All right, all right, knock it off! Enough!

What's the matter with you guys?

_________________________________

Don't you understand?

_________________________________

Sykes will be here any minute.

(WHIMPERS) And I don't have...

_________________________________

-No, no, no, no, no!

-(BARKING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

No, no. Stop it.

_________________________________

No. No. No licking.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

What a joke! All right, settle down.

_________________________________

-(HORN HONKING)

-Sykes!

_________________________________

All right, all right. I'm coming.
_________________________________

(WHIMPERING) I'll be right there.
_________________________________

You guys, listen. Don't let me down.
_________________________________

What do you got?

Let's see what you got.
_________________________________

(GASPS) It's worthless!

What have you done?
_________________________________

Oh, how are we ever going

to pay Sykes off with a pussycat?
_________________________________

-(POUNDING)

-(FEROCIOUS GROWLING)
_________________________________

Oh. (NERVOUS CHUCKLING)

Look who's here, kids.
_________________________________

Company. Nice doggies.
_________________________________

I was just on my way out.
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

ROSCOE: You guys miss us?

_________________________________

Mr. Sykes. I, uh... (STAMMERING)
_________________________________

He's gonna kill me.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Hello. Oh, lovely evening.
_________________________________

I was just saying this to your two lovely

purebred Dobermans.
_________________________________

The money, Fagin.
_________________________________

Actually, I've got something

much better than money.
_________________________________

Some luxury items that should make

a considerable dent in my debt to you.
_________________________________

Oh, my!

You waxed your car, didn't you?
_________________________________

Did they use the buffer on it,

because I can see myself.
_________________________________

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
_________________________________

I don't want your garbage, Fagin!
_________________________________

Oh, please, Sykes.

Oh, please. Oh, please.
_________________________________

SYKES: I don't think you grasp
_________________________________

the severity of the situation.
_________________________________

Oh, no! Oh, no, I did grasp it.
_________________________________

This is how I grasp. Look. (SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(STAMMERING)
_________________________________

Accident.
_________________________________

Accident! Ooh-hoo-hoo!
_________________________________

-Mr. Fagin!

-Sorry.

_________________________________
Now, I lent you money and I don't see it.
_________________________________

Do you know what happens when

I don't see my money, Fagin?
_________________________________

-(WHEEZING)

-People get hurt.
_________________________________

-People like you get hurt.

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

-Do I make myself clear?

-(COUGHS)
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING) Clear! Perfectly clear!
_________________________________

Ya know, Rita, I can't figure out,
_________________________________

why you'd rather
hang around a dump like this,
_________________________________

when you could be living uptown

with a class act like myself.
_________________________________

Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's

entire vocabulary in a single sentence?
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Hey, Frankie, get down,

brother. You bad, man.
_________________________________

Hey, you got something to say
to me, fat boy?
_________________________________

(STAMMERING)
_________________________________

Come on, you guys don't scare me.

I'll kill you both.
_________________________________

Come on, let me at 'em! (GROWLING)

I'll kill 'em! I'll kill 'em!
_________________________________

(ROSCOE CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Go ahead. Let him go.
_________________________________

Why don't you pick on someone
your own size?
_________________________________

-Like you, old man?

-DODGER: Hey, Roscoe.
_________________________________

Roscoe, is this us
losing our sense of humor?
_________________________________

Nah. I ain't lost my sense of humor.
_________________________________

(CRASH)
_________________________________

See? I find that funny. (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Oh, please.
_________________________________

(CRYING) Please. Oh, please!
_________________________________

Three sunrises. Three sunsets.
_________________________________

Three days, Fagin.
_________________________________

Three sunrises. Three sunsets.
_________________________________

Three days. Three, three, three.

That's nine.
_________________________________

-Nine?

-No, Fagin.
_________________________________

-Three.

-Three!
_________________________________

Oh, you mean, just three days?
_________________________________

Oh, my goodness! (SOBBING)
_________________________________

Oh, I'm having a bad day!
_________________________________

-(HORN BLARING)

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

(WATER SPLASHING)
_________________________________

Hey, hey, Roscoe. Look what I found.
_________________________________

Forget it, DeSoto. We gotta go.
_________________________________

I like cats. I like to eat 'em.
_________________________________

(YELPING)
_________________________________

(GROWLS)
_________________________________

(BOTH GROWLING)
_________________________________

Get out of my way, Dodger.
_________________________________

That's enough, Roscoe.
_________________________________

(HORN HONKING)
_________________________________

RITA: Run along, Roscoe.
_________________________________

Your master's calling.
_________________________________

-(GROWLING)

-(HONKING)
_________________________________

Come on, DeSoto.
_________________________________

We ain't finished, Dodger.

You guys are gonna pay for this,
_________________________________

starting with that cat.
_________________________________

Oh, yeah? You guys don't scare me!

Come on and say it to my face!
_________________________________

Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on!
_________________________________

Yeah, those creeps'll think twice

before hassling us, man. (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

All right, kid. What'd I tell you guys?
_________________________________

Ol' Dodge can really pick 'em, huh?
_________________________________

(DOOR CLOSING)
_________________________________

Ooh, three days.
_________________________________

(WHIMPERING)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

How am I ever gonna come up

with all that money? (CRYING)
_________________________________

What's the use? I'll never get out

from under that maniac.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) My days are numbered
_________________________________

and the number is three.
_________________________________

It's hopeless.

_________________________________
Thanks, guys.

_________________________________
(LAUGHING) That reminds me.
_________________________________

I saw DeSoto's nose. Who did that?

_________________________________
You? You.

_________________________________
-(LAUGHING) That took a lot of guts.

-(PURRING)

_________________________________
We've never had a cat
in the gang before.

_________________________________
We can use all the help we can get.

_________________________________
(GROANING)
_________________________________

-(CRACKING NECK)

-Ahhh. All right. Time for bed.
_________________________________

We've got a big day tomorrow.

_________________________________
-(WHINING)

-Aww, no.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Oh, all right.

_________________________________
But just one chapter tonight.

_________________________________
Um, let's see. (MUTTERING)

_________________________________
Here we are. Here we are. Chapter 7.

(CLEARS THROAT)

_________________________________
"Sparky stopped

and he rolled in a field of wildflowers.

_________________________________
"The dandelions tickled his nose,

_________________________________
-"till he laughed out loud.

-(HEAVY PANTING)
_________________________________

"And then something caught his eye.

_________________________________
"It was Bumper the rabbit.
_________________________________

"Sparky jumped to his feet,
_________________________________

"and ran toward Bumper

barking loudly."
_________________________________

(WEAKLY) Woof. Woof.

_________________________________
Well, you try it sometime.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT) Ruff! R-Ruff!
_________________________________

Well, that's because you're a dog.
_________________________________

"Sparky knew that Bumper would run
_________________________________

"and that he could chase him
over the field.
_________________________________

"But Sparky would never
catch him or hurt him
_________________________________

"because Sparky was not

that kind of a dog."
_________________________________

(SNORING)
_________________________________

(PURRING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Day 37 under the dome.
_________________________________

We are facing intermittent

power failures which...
_________________________________

Okay, very funny. Now, I'm

going to turn the lights off again.
_________________________________

When they come back on, I want
all my booze back the way it was.

_________________________________

Yeah, okay. Okay.

_________________________________

I'm very proud of you, Bart.

Over 24 hours sober.
_________________________________

-You are, aren't you?

-I'll prove it.
_________________________________

(MOANING WITH PLEASURE)
_________________________________

Look, we're giving
your father another chance,

_________________________________

and we owe it to him to... (GASPS)
_________________________________

-Oh, my God.

-Can I help you?
_________________________________

Uh... Uh, we need diapers.
_________________________________

-Okay.

-No, no, we don't. We don't.
_________________________________

-Ladies' razorblades.

-Right.
_________________________________

No, no, no, we don't.
I forgot, we're European.

_________________________________

(MARGE GIGGLING)
_________________________________

-Uh-huh.

-Just give us beef jerky.
_________________________________

Lots and lots of beef jerky.
_________________________________

That's right. That's what we need.

That's all we came in for.
_________________________________

Sure.
_________________________________

Mmm-hmm.
_________________________________

Oh, my God, there they...
There they are!
_________________________________

(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________

(BART LAUGHING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

FLY: No, Harry, no!

Don't look at the light!
_________________________________
HARRY: I can't help it! It's so beautiful!

_________________________________

(SIZZLING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Try not to look like a country bug.
_________________________________

Blend. Blend in.
_________________________________

BUG 1: Hey, buggy!
_________________________________

BUG 2: What do you expect?

The guy's a tick.
_________________________________

(DRONING BUZZ)
_________________________________

Wow, the city!
_________________________________

(FLIK EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Making all stops to the septic tank,

including standing water,
_________________________________

empty bean can and dead rat.
_________________________________

-Watch your stingers. All aboard!

-BUG 3: Hey, watch it.
_________________________________

-BUG 4: Get out of the way!

-Oh, sorry.
_________________________________

-Watch where you're going!

-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that.
_________________________________

Oh, sorry!
_________________________________

(OFF-KEY VIOLIN SAWING)
_________________________________
FLIK: Oh. I'm really, really sorry.

_________________________________

That was an... An accident.
_________________________________

BUG 5: Hey, tough guy!
_________________________________

-BUG 6: Hey, let go of me!

-I'll show you who's tough!
_________________________________

-And stay out!

-Tough bugs!
_________________________________

(SALOON PIANO PLAYING)
_________________________________

I knew an old lady

who swallowed a fly...
_________________________________

-Move it!

-Whoa.
_________________________________

Hey, waiter! I'm in my soup!
_________________________________

I've been working out. Feel my wing.
_________________________________

Yo! Two Black Flags over here!
_________________________________

-All right.

-(CHUCKLES) Hair of the dog you bit.
_________________________________

Hey, who ordered the poo-poo platter?
_________________________________

Here you go, slick. Enjoy.
_________________________________

Hey, I said no salt!
_________________________________

-BUG 7: Buzz off!

-Pardon me, sir.
_________________________________

I was wondering

if I could talk to you for a moment.
_________________________________

I represent a colony of ants,

and I'm looking for tough bugs,
_________________________________

you know, mean bugs,

the sort of bugs...
_________________________________

Fired by a flea. How humiliating!
_________________________________

Let's face it. We stink.
_________________________________

-You fired! You fired!

-You fired!
_________________________________

-Oh, will you shut up?

-You fired!
_________________________________

Someday I will be a beautiful butterfly,
_________________________________

and then everything will be better.
_________________________________

I can't believe

the troupe is breaking up.
_________________________________

We've always been together.
_________________________________

-Farewell, my friends.

-To the audience we'll never have.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Francis! Your boyfriends

from the circus are here!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

There she is.
_________________________________

-Hello there, girlie bug.

-Shoo, fly. Don't bother me.
_________________________________

Say, why don't you tell our pal, Thud,
_________________________________

-what you said to us at the circus.

-Yeah.
_________________________________

Something about buzzing

around a dung heap?
_________________________________

Excuse me. Hi.

I represent an ant colony, and we're...
_________________________________

Hey, bartender!

Bloody Mary, O-positive.
_________________________________

Sir?
_________________________________

Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home
_________________________________

Not so tough now, are you?
_________________________________

All right, clown.

Get up and fight like a girl.
_________________________________

-Get ready to do the Robin Hood act.

-I want to be Little John!
_________________________________

-What part can I play?

-I'm looking for tough warrior bugs.
_________________________________

Stand back, ye flies! We are

the greatest warriors in all bugdom!
_________________________________

-Warrior bugs!

-My sword!
_________________________________

Swish, swish. Clang, clang.
_________________________________

-Little John?

-What ho, Robin?
_________________________________

Justice is my sword

and truth shall be my quiver!
_________________________________

Wait, wait! No, no! I want to watch this!
_________________________________

Thrust, parry, lunge!
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

Me thinketh it's not working!
_________________________________

-HEIMLICH: Back to Sherwood Forest!

-What's going on in there?
_________________________________

(BUGS SCREAMING)
_________________________________
SLIM: (MUFFLED) Help! Help!

Get me out!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Wow.
_________________________________
FLIK: You're perfect!

_________________________________

Oh, great ones! I have been scouting

for bugs with your exact talents!
_________________________________

-(GASPS) A talent scout.

-My colony's in trouble.
_________________________________

Grasshoppers are coming! We've been

forced to prepare all this food.
_________________________________

-Dinner theater!

-Food?
_________________________________

Please! Will you help us?
_________________________________
THUD: (GROWLING) Where are they?

_________________________________

-We'll take the job!

-Really?
_________________________________

Yes! You can explain the details

on the way.
_________________________________

Hey!
_________________________________

-Okay, come on, everyone. Break a leg!

-Whoa, you're vicious!
_________________________________

Hold on, Mr. Ant.
_________________________________
FLIK: Amazing!

This is too good to be true!
_________________________________
FLIK: So you see, it was my fault

that Hopper's coming back.
_________________________________

But then, Princess Atta...

Boy, is she one in a million.
_________________________________

She let me go out and find you.
_________________________________

And after seeing you

fight off those flies...
_________________________________

Boy, are those grasshoppers in

for a big surprise!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING TRIUMPHANTLY)
_________________________________

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
_________________________________

_________________________________