Disney NeverEnding Chronology (Spring 2017 Part 2) - Subtitles (en)

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April 2017

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(VIOLIN PLAYS)

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Good evening, madam. Is this

the residence of Basil of Baker Street?

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I'm afraid it is.

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He's not here at the moment,

but you're welcome to come in and wait.

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Oh, I... I don't want to impose.

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It's... it's just, the girl...

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Oh, my!

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You poor dear!

You must be chilled to the bone!

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(CHUCKLING) Oh.

But I know just the thing.

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Let me fetch you a pot of tea

and some of my fresh cheese crumpets.

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(PUFFING)

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A-ha! The villain's slipped this time!

I shall have him!

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-(THUNDERING)

-Out of my way! Out of my way!

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I say... Oh!

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-Who are you?

-What? Oh.

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Basil of Baker Street, my good fellow.

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-Mr. Basil, I need your help. And...

-All in good time.

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But you don't understand.

I'm in terrible trouble.

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If you'll excuse me.

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-(SIGHS)

-(BASIL HUMMING)

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Now... Now see here!

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This young lady is

in need of assistance.

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-I think you ought to listen...

-Hold this, please, doctor.

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Of course.

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-(STAMMERING)

-(BASIL HUMMING)

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Wait just a moment.

How did you know I was a doctor?

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A surgeon, to be exact.

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Just returned from military duty

in Afghanistan, am I right?

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Why... (CHUCKLES)

Oh, yes. Major David Q. Dawson.

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-Uh... But how could you possibly...

-Quite simple, really.

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You've sewn your torn cuff together

with a Lembert stitch,

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which, of course, only a surgeon uses.

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And the thread is

a unique form of catgut

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easily distinguished

by its peculiar pungency,

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found only in the Afghan provinces.

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-Amazing!

-Actually,

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it's elementary, my dear Dawson.

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(GUN COCKING)

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(GUNSHOT)

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(BLOWS)

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What in heaven's name?

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Oh! Oh... My... (SPITS)

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My good pillows.

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Mr. Basil! (SPITS)

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-How many times have I told you...

-Mrs. Judson, it's quite all right.

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Uh... (SNIFFS) Mmm.

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I believe I smell some of those

delightful cheese crumpets of yours.

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-Why don't you fetch our guests some?

-But... (STAMMERING)

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Now,

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I know that bullet's here somewhere.

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-Thank you, Miss...

-Flaversham. Olivia Flaversham.

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-Whatever.

-Yes, but you don't understand.

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(SOFTLY) Yes.

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Yes!

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No!

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Drat!

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Another dead end.

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He was within my grasp.

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(STRINGS TWANGING)

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(PLAYING VIOLIN)

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Now, will you please listen to me?

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My daddy's gone, and I'm all alone.

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Young lady, this is

a most inopportune time.

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Surely your mother knows where he is.

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I... I don't have a mother.

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(VIOLIN SCREECHES)

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Well... Um...

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Then perhaps...

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See here, I simply have

no time for lost fathers.

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I didn't lose him. He was taken by a bat.

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-Did you say bat?

-(STUTTERING) Yes.

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-Did he have a crippled wing?

-I don't know, but he had a peg leg!

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I say, do you know him?

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Know him? That bat,

one Fidget, by name,

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is in the employ of the very fiend

who was the target of my experiment!

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The horror of my every waking moment.

The nefarious Professor Ratigan!

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(THUNDERING)

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-Uh... Ratigan?

-He's a genius, Dawson.

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A genius twisted for evil.

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-The Napoleon of crime.

-(THUNDERING)

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-As bad as all that, eh?

-Worse!

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For years, I've tried to capture him,

and I've come close, so very close.

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But each time,

he's narrowly evaded my grasp.

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Not a corner of London's safe

while Ratigan's at large.

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There's no evil scheme

he wouldn't concoct!

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No depravity he wouldn't commit.

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Who knows what dastardly scheme

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that villain may be plotting,

even as we speak?

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(RATTLING, POPPING)

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(GEARS GRINDING)

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(CHUCKLING)

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Quite an ingenious scheme,

eh, Flaversham?

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And aren't you proud to be a part of it?

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This whole thing is...

It... it's monstrous.

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RATIGAN: We will have our little device

ready by tomorrow evening, won't we?

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You know what will happen if you fail.

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(BELL RINGS)

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I... I... I don't care!

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(POPPING, RATTLING)

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(SPUTTERING)

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You can do what you want with me.

I won't be a part of this... this...

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-...this evil any longer.

-(EXHALES SLOWLY)

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Very well, if that is your decision.

(CHUCKLES)

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Oh, uh, by the way,

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I'm taking the liberty

of having your daughter brought here.

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-(GASPS) Olivia?

-Yes. Yes.

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-Yes. (CHUCKLES) Yes.

-(SOFT MUSIC PLAYS)

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I would spend many a sleepless night

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if anything unfortunate

were to befall her.

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-(CHUCKLES)

-FLAVERSHAM: You... You wouldn't.

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(SQUEAKING)

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Finish it, Flaversham!

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(DOOR CLOSES)

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(HUMMING)

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Oh, I love it when I'm nasty.

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-(GRUMBLING)

-Fidget.

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(SNORING, CHUCKLING)

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Fidget!

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Bright and alert as always.

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Here's the list.

You know what to do, and no mistakes!

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(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

No mistakes, sir.

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"Tools, gears, girl, uniforms..."

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-Now, Fidget!

-I'm going! I'm going! I'm going!

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(CREAKING)

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(INDISTINCT CHEERING)

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(CLAPPING)

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My friends, we are

about to embark on the most odious,

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the most evil, the most diabolical

scheme of my illustrious career.

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A crime to top all crimes.

A crime that will live in infamy!

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(ALL CHEER AND CLAP)

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Tomorrow evening,

our beloved monarch

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celebrates her Diamond Jubilee.

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And with the enthusiastic help

of our good friend, Mr. Flaversham,

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(SNICKERING)

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it promises to be a night

she will never forget.

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Her last night, and my first

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as supreme ruler of all mousedom!

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(ALL CHEER)

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(CHUCKLES)

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From the brain that

brought you the Big Ben Caper

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The head that made headlines

in every newspaper

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And wondrous things like

the Tower Bridge Job

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That cunning display

that made Londoners sob

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Now comes the real tour de force

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Tricky and wicked, of course

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My earlier crimes

were fine for their times

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But now that I'm at it again

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An even grimmer plot

has been simmering

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In my great criminal brain

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Even meaner?

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You mean it?

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Worse than the widows

and orphans you drowned

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You're the best of the worst around

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Oh, Ratigan

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The rest fall behind

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To Ratigan

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The world's greatest criminal mind

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Thank you, thank you.

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But it hasn't all been

champagne and caviar.

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I've had my share of adversity,

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thanks to that miserable

second-rate detective,

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-Basil of Baker Street.

-(ALL BOOING)

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For years, that insufferable pipsqueak

has interfered with my plans.

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I haven't had

a moment's peace of mind.

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ALL: Aww...

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(SNIFFLING, SOBBING)

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But all that's in the past!

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This time nothing, not even Basil,

can stand in my way!

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All will bow before me!

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Oh, Ratigan

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You're tops and that's that

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To Ratigan

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To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat

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-(HICCUPS)

-(GASPS, COUGHS)

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-(ALL GASPING)

-What was that?

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-(HICCUPS)

-What did you call me?

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-He didn't mean it, professor.

-It was just a slip of the tongue.

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I am not a rat!

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-'Course you're not. You're a mouse!

-That's right. A mouse.

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-Yeah, a big mouse.

-Silence!

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Oh, my dear Bartholomew,

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I'm afraid that

you've gone and upset me.

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You know what happens

when someone upsets me.

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(ALL SHUDDERING)

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-(BELL RINGS)

-(ALL GASP)

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(DRUNKENLY) Oh, Ratigan

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Oh, Ratigan

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You're the tops and that's that

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(HICCUPS) Oh, dear.

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To Ratigan

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-To Ratigan

-(MOANING)

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The world's greatest...

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-(GULPING)

-(GASPING)

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(CAT SMACKING, MEOWING)

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(SNIFFLES)

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Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby.

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Did Daddy's little honey bun

enjoy her tasty treat?

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(BURPS)

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I trust there will be

no further interruptions.

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(MURMURING INDISTINCTLY)

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(CLEARS THROAT) And now,

as you were singing...

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(GASPING)

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Even louder

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We'll shout it

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No one can doubt

what we know you can do

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-(LAUGHING)

-You're more evil than even you

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Oh, Ratigan

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-Oh, Ratigan

-Ah...

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-You're one of a kind

-(RATIGAN LAUGHING)

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To Ratigan

To Ratigan

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Hey.

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The world's greatest criminal

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Mind

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(THUNDERING)

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BASIL: This case is most intriguing

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with its multiplicity of elements,

its many twists and turns.

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Now, you're certain

you've told me everything?

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The slightest detail may be important.

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It's just as I said.

And then my father was gone.

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What do you make of it?

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Ratigan's up to something.

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A crime of the most

sinister nature, no doubt.

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The question is...

What would he want with a toymaker?

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-(THUNDERING)

-(SCREAMS)

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Quickly, we've not a moment to lose!

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(STUTTERING)

I'm right behind you, Basil.

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No... No sign

of the blackguard anywhere.

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Not quite, Dawson.

He left some rather unusual footprints.

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They belong to the same fiend

who abducted the girl's father.

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-Ratigan's peg-legged lackey.

-Uh... Basil?

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A-ha!

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Excellent work, old man.

(LAUGHS)

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Now there's nothing

to be afraid of, my dear.

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-The scoundrel's quite gone.

-But not for long, Miss Flamhammer.

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-Flaversham!

-Whatever. Now...

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We simply pursue

our peg-legged friend

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until he leads us to the girl's father.

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-Then you'll get my daddy back?

-Yes!

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And quite soon, if I'm not mistaken.

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Now, hurry along, Dawson.

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We must be off to Toby's.

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-Toby's?

-Oh, you must meet him.

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-He's just the chap for this.

-You... You want me to come?

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I should think

a stout-hearted army mouse like you

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would leap at the chance for adventure.

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-Well, I am rather curious.

-Wait for me! I'm coming too!

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What? Certainly not!

This is no business for children.

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-Are we going to take a cab?

-(SIGHING)

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My dear, I don't think you understand.

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-It will be quite dangerous.

-(CRUNCHING, STRINGS TWANG)

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Oh! Why, you... Look what...

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(INHALES SHARPLY, GROANS)

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Young lady, you are most definitely

not accompanying us.

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And that is final!

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And not a word out of you.

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(BOTH GRUNTING)
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-(DISTANT ROAR)

-(ALL GASP)
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Uh...
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Hello?
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(ECHOING)
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(ROAR)
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(SCREAMS)
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(GROWLING)
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(SCREAMS)
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(GASPS)
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(GRUNTS) Yeah!
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Oh! Hello, mammals.
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Hi, Buck!
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Hi. (SCREAMING)
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Bye, Buck!
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BUCK: Um, a little help.

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(GRUNTING)
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(SCREAMING)
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(GROANING)
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Right on the spleen!
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Utterly useless, but totally hurts.
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(LAUGHS) Hey, Buck.

Welcome back, buddy.
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Wait. This half-a-snack

is the dinosaur whisperer?
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And expert salsa dancer.
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-(SINGING)

-(SALSA MUSIC PLAYING)
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-(MUSIC STOPS)

-Whoo!
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I have one eye but all my original teeth.
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Would you like to count them? Ah...
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No, thank you.
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And this must be Nectarine.
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-Um... Peaches.

-Semantics, my dear.
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I am deeply honored.
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Sweet eye patch. Very gangsta.
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Thank you.
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-I like this kid.

-MANNY: Buck.
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-Whoa!

-What are you doing here?
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Well, I... What?
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I'm trying!
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But how do you tell someone

they're doomed?
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He's stumped. (LAUGHS)
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We're not doomed, Buck.
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It was just a meteor shower,

and the show's over.
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Ahh!
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Oh, quite the contrary, old chap.
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It's just beginning.
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You see, I found a prophecy.
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(DRAMATIC DRUMMING)
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Do you mind?
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Boy, he really sucks the fun

out of everything. Doesn't he?
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Fun sucker!
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I read this tablet front to back.
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And the story it tells is very disturbing.
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Every hundred million years or so,
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the world gets a cosmic cleansing.
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Before the dinosaurs,
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there were these horseshoe

crab-looking thingies.
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Ugh! Yuck.
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Then, at the bottom

of this mountain range,
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an asteroid hit.
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Boom! Bye-bye.
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Next, dinosaurs,

mountain range, asteroid.
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Boom! Bye-bye.
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And coming up next, mammals.
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Mountain range, asteroid, boom!
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Bye-bye.
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-(GIGGLES) Stupid mammals.

-That's us.
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(GASPS)
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Mmm.
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Yep, and there she is.
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The mother of all asteroids

screaming towards us.
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Even going underground

won't save us this time.
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Hey, that wasn't there before.
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And look what it's doing to the sky.
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No worries. Because I've got a plan.
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Really? To stop an asteroid?
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Look, the last two asteroids
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have pummeled the earth

in the same spot.
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And it's about to happen again.
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We've got to go there and see

what's attracting the asteroid.
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Once we know why it's coming...
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we can figure out

how to send it somewhere else.
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That plan is so dumb,
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I wish it had a face so I could smack it.
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Let me get this straight.
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Instead of running away from

a deadly asteroid...
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you want us to run directly towards it?
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I know it sounds suboptimal,

but the good news is...
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it'll kill us no matter where we went.
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Well, that's reassuring.
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Okay, but even if we get

to the crash site...
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how are we supposed to change
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what is literally written in stone?
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Ah, my cynical friend.
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The dinos were wiped off

the face of the Earth,
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but some escaped.
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They changed their fate

and we can change ours, too.
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Who's with me?
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(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
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So, what do you think?
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Honestly. I'm worried the weasel's right.
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(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) No!

Don't listen to the weasel.
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He's a raving loon!
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(LAUGHS) Sorry, I just

love playing devil's advocate.
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And looking fabulous!
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Well, Buck has saved

our lives before, right?
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But what if he can't this time?
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I don't know what to believe.
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But I'm afraid our lives will be over
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before they begin.
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(CHISELING)
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Okay.
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I guess we're in.
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Crash and Eddie, reporting for duty.
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(LAUGHS) Doody.
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(BOTH LAUGHING)
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Excellent! And dirty word processed.
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Now, we better get on the road
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because time till impact is roughly...
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2 days, 4 hours, 1 minute

and 16 seconds.
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15 seconds, 14 seconds...
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I think we get it.
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I think we're all gonna get it.

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Whoo! We look so cool.
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Whoa!
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(CHUCKLING)
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(COUGHING)
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Ugh. What is this stuff?
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(SCREAMING)
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-(EXHALES)

-(GROANS)

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(ROARING)
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Where is he? When I am through

with that one-eyed weasel...
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he's going to need two eye patches.
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I admire your bloodthirstitude, Gertie.
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But you heard them.
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An asteroid is coming.
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(LAUGHS) This changes things.
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(YELPS)
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Holy snowballs! It's freezing up here.
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Parts are retracting

into other parts. (SCREAMS)
_________________________________

Would you please

stop acting like a parakeet?
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It's a good thing

you got your mother's eyes...
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or you'd be totally useless.
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Well, that's just hurtful. (SCREAMS)
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-(NECK CRACKS)

-(SCREAMS)
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What do you see?
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-(SIGHS) Nothing. Nothing.

-(SCREAMING)
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Deadly asteroid

screaming towards Earth.
_________________________________

Wait! There he is.
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That's too bad. He is really far away.
_________________________________

Probably too far to reach by flight.
_________________________________

Oh, well. Let's just go home.
_________________________________

We are not retreating!
_________________________________

Until that weasel came along...
_________________________________

our family made an honest living
_________________________________

stealing dino eggs.
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An honest living. Stealing.
_________________________________

Kind of fronic, don't you think?
_________________________________

Besides, why take out the weasel
_________________________________

if the asteroid is just gonna take us out?
_________________________________

So much sight. So little vision.
_________________________________

If we stop the weasel and his friends
_________________________________

from diverting the asteroid...
_________________________________

Kablooie!
_________________________________

It kills the weasel and everyone else...
_________________________________

while we glide safely above it all.
_________________________________

It'll be our paradise.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING EVILLY)
_________________________________

That's seems highly implausible.
_________________________________

Just from a scientific standpoint.
_________________________________

(BOTH GROWL)
_________________________________

Fine. It's a great plan. Dynamite!
_________________________________

One of the top three or four species

annihilation plans I've ever heard.
_________________________________

That's better.
_________________________________

Now let's make sure that asteroid hits.
_________________________________

Why can't we just fear the

apocalypse like a normal family?

_________________________________
_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

(WHIMPERING)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(ALL WHIMPERING)

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(SHOUTING IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)

_________________________________

(SHOUTING)

_________________________________

(WHIMPERING)

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NANI: We're looking for something

that can defend itself...

_________________________________

Something that won't die...

Something sturdy, you know?

_________________________________

Like a lobster.

_________________________________

Lilo, you lolo.

Do we have a lobster door?

_________________________________

No. We have a dog door.

We are getting a dog.

_________________________________

(FRANTIC GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(JUMBA LAUGHS IN DISTANCE)

_________________________________
JUMBA: So nice to see

your pretty face again!

_________________________________

Jumba?

_________________________________

We need your name and address

at the bottom of the form...

_________________________________

The kennel's back this way.

_________________________________

Go. Pick someone out.

_________________________________

(ECHOING) Hello?

_________________________________

(THUMPING)

_________________________________

Are there any "aminals" in here?

_________________________________

(PANTING AND WHINING)

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)

_________________________________
LILO: Hello!

_________________________________

Hi.

_________________________________

Hoh... Ha...

_________________________________

Hi...

_________________________________

Wow!

_________________________________

Oh, yes. Mm-hmm.

All of our dogs are adoptable.

_________________________________

Except that one!

_________________________________

What is that thing?

_________________________________

A dog, I think.

But it was dead this morning.

_________________________________

It was dead this morning?

_________________________________

Well, we thought it was dead.

It was hit by a truck.

_________________________________

I like him! Come here, boy.

_________________________________

(STRAINING GROWL)

_________________________________

Oh! Aah!

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

Wouldn't you like a different dog?

_________________________________

We have better dogs, dear.

_________________________________

Not better than him.

He can talk! Say hello.

_________________________________

He... Hel...

_________________________________

Dogs can't talk, dear.

_________________________________
LILO: He did.

_________________________________

Does it have to be this dog?

_________________________________

(PANTING)

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(SMACKING)

_________________________________

Yes, he's good. I can tell.

_________________________________

WOMAN: You'll have to think

of a name for him.

_________________________________

His name is... Stitch.

_________________________________

-Now, that's not a real name...

-Hmm. Uh-uh, uh-uh-uh.

_________________________________

...In Iceland...

But here, it's a good name.

_________________________________

Stitch it is.

_________________________________

And there's a two dollar license fee.

_________________________________

I want to buy him!

_________________________________

(WHISPERING)

Can I borrow two dollars?

_________________________________

He's all yours.

_________________________________
JUMBA: You're all mine.

_________________________________
PLEAKLEY: Well, what's he doing?

_________________________________

Shh! Keep quiet. He's listening for us.

_________________________________

(WHISPERING) How good

is his hearing? I mean, can he...

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

(CHOKING)

_________________________________

(LASER HUMS)

_________________________________

Why don't you run?

_________________________________

(BARKING)

_________________________________

Coming! I'm coming!

_________________________________

Stop!

_________________________________

I have just determined this situation

to be far too hazardous!

_________________________________

Don't worry, I won't hit her.

_________________________________

No! That girl is a part

of the mosquito food chain.

_________________________________

Here! Educate yourself.

_________________________________

Using a little girl for a shield.

This is low, even for you!

_________________________________

-(TAUNTINGLY) Whoo-hoo!

-Bah!

_________________________________

(YELLS)

_________________________________

Tear him apart

with all both my bare hands!

_________________________________

Have you lost your mind?

_________________________________

(BARKING)

_________________________________

What is it, Stitch?

_________________________________

We cannot be seen!

_________________________________

(BARKING)

_________________________________

Bad dog, barking at nothing!

_________________________________

(MUTTERING)

_________________________________

You can't shoot, and you can't be seen.

_________________________________

Look at you!

_________________________________

(WHISPERING)

You look like a monster.

_________________________________

We have to blend in.

_________________________________
NANI: Okay, I got to get to work.

_________________________________

Stick around town

and stay out of the roads, okay?

_________________________________

-I'll meet you at 1:00.

-Hmm?

_________________________________

Oh! Ah!

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

(GROWLING AND SNARLING)

_________________________________
NANI: Okay, I guess

we should be going.

_________________________________

(RASPBERRY KISS)

_________________________________

(GIGGLES) What about Stitch?

_________________________________

(DISGUSTED GRUNT)

_________________________________

(BICYCLE BELL CHIMES)

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

My friends!

_________________________________

(GASPING AND SHRIEKING)

_________________________________

(ALL PANTING)

_________________________________

What do you want?

_________________________________

I'm sorry I bit you and pulled your hair

and punched you in the face.

_________________________________

Apology not accepted.

_________________________________

Now get out of my way

before I run you over.

_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)

_________________________________

I got a new dog. His name is Stitch.

_________________________________

That is the ugliest thing

I have ever saw.

_________________________________

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

_________________________________

Eww! Get it away from me!

I'm gonna get a disease!

_________________________________

(STITCH GASPS)

_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)

_________________________________

(CRYING)

_________________________________

Somebody do something!

_________________________________

Oh, great! He's loose.

_________________________________

His destructive programming

is taking effect.

_________________________________

He will be irresistibly drawn

to large cities

_________________________________

where he will back up sewers,

_________________________________

reverse street signs

and steal everyone's left shoe.

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(FRUSTRATED GRUNTING)

_________________________________

It's nice to live on an island

with no large cities.

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(BABBLING)

_________________________________

Are you okay?

_________________________________

_________________________________

(CREAKING)
_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
_________________________________
(WIND WHISTLING)
_________________________________
(ECHOING GROWL)
_________________________________
-(GRUNTING)
-(GLASS BREAKING)
_________________________________
(BABY CRYING)
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
_________________________________
(SNEEZE)
_________________________________
(COUGHING)
_________________________________
(COOING)
_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
_________________________________
(GROWLING)
_________________________________
(GROWLING)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
(GROWLING)
_________________________________
(GIGGLING)
_________________________________
-(GASPS)
-(GROWLS)
_________________________________
(GASPING)
_________________________________
-(COOING)
-(GASPS)
_________________________________
-(GASPS)
-(ROARS)
_________________________________
(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________
Ah! Ah! Ah!
_________________________________
(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________
(SABOR GROWLS)
_________________________________

Every moment now

The bond grows stronger
_________________________________

Two worlds, one family

_________________________________

Trust your heart

Let fate decide
_________________________________

To guide these lives we see

_________________________________
Mama, look! Look over there!

_________________________________

APE 1: Kala!

APE 2: She's back.
_________________________________
(APES ALL TALKING)

_________________________________

APE 3: We looked everywhere for you.
_________________________________
(SIGHS)

_________________________________

-APE: Are you all right, dear?

-I'm fine. No, really, honestly.

_________________________________

It's just that I got a little bit sidetracked.
_________________________________

(ALL GASP)
_________________________________

Well, isn't that, uh...
_________________________________

-Well, it's so...

-Why, it's just so...
_________________________________

It's freaky-lookin', okay?

That's what it is.
_________________________________

-Terkina!

-Well, it is!
_________________________________

I mean, what the heck is it anyway?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) He's a baby.
_________________________________
Well... Ah!
_________________________________

I can't...
_________________________________

So, where's his mama?
_________________________________

Well, I'm going to be his mother now.
_________________________________

(BABY COOING)
_________________________________

You know, he's not so bad,

once you get used to him.
_________________________________

Kala's gonna be its mother now.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
_________________________________
-(SNEEZES)
-(GIGGLES)
_________________________________

Kerchak, I saved him from Sabor.
_________________________________

Kala, it won't replace the one we lost.
_________________________________

I know that. But he needs me.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

But it...
_________________________________

Kala, look at it. It's not our kind. (SIGHS)
_________________________________

No, you have to take it back.
_________________________________

Take him back? But he'll die.
_________________________________

-If the jungle wants him...

-I want him.
_________________________________

Kala, I cannot let you
put our family in danger.
_________________________________

Does he look dangerous to you?
_________________________________

(ROARS)
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

Was it alone?
_________________________________

Yes. Sabor killed his family.
_________________________________

-Are you sure?

-Yes. There are no others.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Then you may keep him.
_________________________________

Kerchak, I know he'll be a good son.
_________________________________

KERCHAK: I said he could stay.
_________________________________

That doesn't make him my son.
_________________________________

We will nest here for the night.
_________________________________

So, um, what you gonna call it?
_________________________________

I'm gonna call him...
_________________________________

Tarzan.
_________________________________

Tarzan? Okay, he's your baby.
_________________________________

All right, little lady, come on.

It's way past your nest time.
_________________________________

-Oh, Mom.

-No.

_________________________________
TERK: Five more minutes?

Two more minutes?

_________________________________

One more minutes?

_________________________________
-(GASPS)
-(CRYING)
_________________________________
KALA: Oh! Oh, no. Shh. Shh.
_________________________________
Don't cry. I'm here. Come on. Come on.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Come stop your crying
_________________________________
It will be all right

_________________________________
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

_________________________________
I will protect you from all around you

_________________________________
I will be here
Don't you cry

_________________________________

For one so small
You seem so strong

_________________________________
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm

_________________________________
This bond between us can't be broken

_________________________________
I will be here
Don't you cry

_________________________________

'Cause you'll be in my heart

_________________________________
Yes, you'll be in my heart

_________________________________
From this day on
_________________________________
Now and forever more

_________________________________

You'll be in my heart

_________________________________
No matter what they say

_________________________________
You'll be here in my heart

_________________________________
Always

_________________________________

KALA: Always.
_________________________________
(BIRDS CALLING)
_________________________________
(WATER FLOWING)
_________________________________

(SOFT MOAN)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

Tarzan.
_________________________________

KALA: Tarzan?
_________________________________

-(TRUMPETS LOUDLY)
-(GASPS)
_________________________________

I sure scared you, Mom.
_________________________________
You sure did.
_________________________________

Can't you imitate any quieter animals?
_________________________________

Oh, Mom, they're no fun.
_________________________________

Wanna see me be a leopard?

(GROWLS)
_________________________________

Why don't you just come up

with your own sound?
_________________________________

-(SCREECHES)

-Hmm.
_________________________________

(SILLY NOISES)
_________________________________

ALL: Kala.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Oops.
_________________________________

(GROWLS)
_________________________________

(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)
_________________________________

Tarzan! Thank goodness

you're all right!
_________________________________

Kala and I have been so worried.
_________________________________

Thank you. Thank you so much

for finding him, Kerchak.
_________________________________

You are such a wise and caring leader.
_________________________________

-(WHISPERS) Run.
-(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Um. Hmm.
_________________________________

Hello.
_________________________________

-Are you thick in the head?

-What?
_________________________________

How many times do I have to tell you?
_________________________________

If you want Kerchak to like you,

stay away from him.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Come on, step on it!
_________________________________

Last one there is a dung beetle!
_________________________________

Yeah, the first one's gotta eat it.
_________________________________

Terk, can I come?
_________________________________

Well, you could if you could keep up,
_________________________________
but, you know, you can't really keep up.
_________________________________

Wait up, guys!

Wait up! Right behind you!
_________________________________

(ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING)

_________________________________

CHIMP: You're standing on my spleen.

_________________________________

Take that! Stop hitting yourself.
_________________________________

-Stop hitting yourself.

-Ow! Ow!
_________________________________
Stop hitting yourself.
_________________________________

(SINGING) The fun has arrived

_________________________________
-Thank you very much.

-Hey, what took you so long?
_________________________________

I had a little pest control problem,

but it's all taken care of. Whoa!
_________________________________

Hi, guys.
_________________________________

Terk, what is this, some kind of joke?
_________________________________

Tell me I'm not looking
at the hairless wonder.
_________________________________

Well, Terk said I could come
along if I could keep up.
_________________________________

-Oh! No, no.
-Terk. Come on.
_________________________________

I'll handle this, guys, okay?

Listen, buddy. Come here.
_________________________________
We got a tiny, little,
itsy-bitsy problem here, okay?
_________________________________

Personally, I'd love to hang out

with you. You know I would.
_________________________________

But the guys... They need

a little convincing, you know?
_________________________________

Okay, what do I gotta do?
_________________________________

Do? What do you gotta do?
_________________________________

-(LAUGHING) It's so stupid.

-What?
_________________________________

Well, you gotta...

You gotta go get a hair.

_________________________________

-A hair?

-TERK: Yeah, a hair.

_________________________________
-Uh-huh.

-(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)
_________________________________

An elephant hair.
_________________________________

(ANGRY TRUMPETING)
_________________________________

An elephant hair?
_________________________________

Like I said, it's stupid, right?
_________________________________

Listen, take it from me.

Go home. Okay?
_________________________________

Who needs this aggravation?
_________________________________
You know, I'm probably
gonna leave soon myself.
_________________________________

You go, I'll catch up, all right?
_________________________________

You see? Leave it to me.

I told you I could...
_________________________________
-Tarzan! Tarzan!

-(TARZAN SHOUTING)
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

ALL: Ooh!
_________________________________

That one hurt him.
_________________________________

Look! Oh! Oh! There he is!
_________________________________
He's alive!
_________________________________

-Hey, guys!

-ALL: Hi.

_________________________________

-(LAUGHTER)

-TERK: Oh, no. No, no.

_________________________________

Come back! Come back.
_________________________________

This guy's great.
_________________________________
If he lives, you should
bring him around more often.
_________________________________

Come on, come one.
Let's go get a better seat.

_________________________________

ELEPHANT: You can never get

enough sleep, let me tell you.

_________________________________

-ELEPHANT 2: I get enough.

-Mom?

_________________________________

ELEPHANT: It burns calories.

_________________________________

Are you sure this water's sanitary?
_________________________________

It looks questionable to me.
_________________________________

It's fine, honey.
_________________________________

Ick! But what about bacteria?
_________________________________

Tantor, can't you see Mummy's talking?
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________
(ELEPHANTS CHATTING)
_________________________________

Huh! Watch out!
There's something swimming!
_________________________________
It's coming right at you!
_________________________________

Honey, Mummy's losing her patience.
_________________________________

But this time I really see something.

_________________________________
MOM: Oh, boy.

_________________________________

(GASPS) Piranha! It's a piranha!
_________________________________

Sweetheart, there are no
piranhas in Africa.
_________________________________

Don't tell the kid that.
_________________________________
Of course there are piranhas in Africa.
_________________________________

No, she's right.

They're native to South America.

_________________________________

ELEPHANT 1: Get outta here.

ELEPHANT 2: It's true.

_________________________________

ELEPHANT 1: No way.

ELEPHANT 2: Come on, now.
_________________________________
Think I'd be here if there were?
_________________________________

Ah! It's right behind you! Run!
_________________________________

For the last time, honey,

there are no piranhas in...
_________________________________

My butt!
_________________________________

-Told you!

-There's something on my butt!
_________________________________

-What is it?

-Are there any more of them?
_________________________________

Ah!
_________________________________

-What is it?

-It's a piranha.
_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-ALL: Piranha!
_________________________________
(ALL TRUMPETING)
_________________________________

Tantor, where are you?
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

-He's dead.

-(TRUMPETING)
_________________________________

We're dead!
_________________________________
(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

We didn't do it! They're the ones!
_________________________________

(SCREECHING)
_________________________________

Oh, thank you, Kerchak.
_________________________________

Tarzan, buddy! Buddy, come on!
_________________________________

Tarzan, don't die on me!

Don't die on me!
_________________________________

-You weren't supposed to do it!

-Get away from there.
_________________________________

Don't you know a piranha

can strip your flesh in seconds?
_________________________________

-What? He's not a piranha! He's...

-(COUGHING)
_________________________________

He's alive!
_________________________________

He's alive! He's alive!
_________________________________

-He's alive!

-He's...
_________________________________

You idiot!
_________________________________

You nearly gave me
a heart attack! You happy?
_________________________________

Uh-huh.
_________________________________

You...
_________________________________
I don't believe it. You got the hair?
_________________________________

Is that what this is all about?

I got a whole tail of them.

_________________________________
KALA: Tarzan?

APE MOTHER: Terkina?

_________________________________
TERK: Oh, no.

_________________________________

-Who's that?

-BOTH: My mom.

_________________________________

-KALA: Tarzan.

-Hi.

_________________________________

-Hi, Aunt Kala.

-Oh, you scared me!
_________________________________
-What happened?

-Well, I...
_________________________________

Um, it's sort of a long... It's involved.
_________________________________
Because what happened,

it was a weird...
_________________________________

What happened?
_________________________________

-It was my fault, Kerchak.

-Tarzan.
_________________________________

We were playing, and...
Well, I'm sorry, Kerchak.
_________________________________

You almost killed someone.
_________________________________

-It was an accident.

-He's only a child.
_________________________________

That's no excuse.

You can't keep defending him.
_________________________________

-He'll learn.

-He will not.
_________________________________

You can't learn to be one of us.
_________________________________

-You never give him a chance.

-Give him a chance?

_________________________________
KERCHAK: Kala, look at him.

He will never be one of us.

_________________________________
KALA: Kerchak!

_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)
-Tarzan.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Tarzan, what are you doing?
_________________________________

Why am I so different?
_________________________________

Because you're covered with mud.
_________________________________
No! Kerchak said I didn't belong in...
_________________________________

KALA: Close your mouth.
_________________________________

Kerchak said I don't
belong in the family.
_________________________________

Never mind what Kerchak said.
_________________________________

-Hold still.

-But, look at me!
_________________________________

I am, Tarzan.
_________________________________

And do you know what I see?
_________________________________

I see two eyes, like mine,
_________________________________

and a nose, somewhere. Ah!
_________________________________
Here.
_________________________________

Two ears.
_________________________________

-And let's see, what else?

-Two hands?
_________________________________

That's right. (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Close your eyes.
_________________________________

Now, forget what you see.
_________________________________

What do you feel?
_________________________________

My heart.
_________________________________

Come here.
_________________________________

-Your heart.

-See?
_________________________________

They're exactly the same.
_________________________________

Kerchak just can't see that.
_________________________________

I'll make him see it.
_________________________________

I'll be the best ape ever.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Oh, I bet you will.
_________________________________

Oh, the power to be strong
_________________________________

And the wisdom to be wise
_________________________________

All these things will come to you in time
_________________________________

On this journey that you're making
_________________________________

There'll be answers that you'll seek
_________________________________

And it's you who'll climb the mountain
_________________________________

It's you who'll reach the peak
_________________________________

Son of Man, look to the sky
_________________________________

Lift your spirit, set it free
_________________________________

Someday you'll walk tall with pride
_________________________________

Son of Man, a man in time you'll be
_________________________________

Though there's no one there

To guide you
_________________________________

No one to take your hand
_________________________________

But with faith and understanding
_________________________________

You will journey from boy to man
_________________________________

Son of Man, look to the sky
_________________________________

Lift your spirit, set it free
_________________________________

Someday you'll walk tall with pride
_________________________________

Son of Man, a man in time you'll be
_________________________________

In learning you will teach
_________________________________

And in teaching you will learn
_________________________________

You'll find your place

Beside the ones you love
_________________________________

And all the things you dreamed of
_________________________________

The visions that you saw
_________________________________

Well, the time is drawing near now
_________________________________

It's yours to claim it all
_________________________________

Son of Man, look to the sky
_________________________________

Lift your spirit, set it free
_________________________________

Someday you'll walk tall with pride
_________________________________

Son of Man, a man in time you'll be
_________________________________

Son of Man
_________________________________

Son of Man's a man for all to see

_________________________________

_________________________________
Olympus Coliseum
_________________________________

_________________________________

-(SHEPHERD BELL CLANKING)

-(SHEEP BLEATING)

_________________________________

(BRAYING)

_________________________________

Hercules, slow down!

_________________________________

Look out!

_________________________________

(MEN GASPING)

_________________________________

Sorry, guys.

_________________________________

-Hey, watch where you're goin'.

-Sunday driver!

_________________________________

(CROWD YELLING)

_________________________________

Thanks, son.

_________________________________

When old Penelope twisted her ankle

back there, I thought we were done for.

_________________________________

No problem, Pop.

_________________________________

Uh, don't unload just yet.

First, I have to finagle with Phideas.

_________________________________

Okay.

_________________________________

-(BRAYING)

-Oops.

_________________________________

Sorry, Penelope.

_________________________________

Now, Hercules, this time, please just...

_________________________________

I know. I know.

_________________________________

-Stay by the cart.

-(SIGHS)

_________________________________

That's my boy.

_________________________________

-(SIGHS)

-(MAN GROANING)

_________________________________

Oh, my goodness. Whoa!

_________________________________

-Careful!

-(SHUDDERS)

_________________________________

-Why, thank you.

-No problem.

_________________________________

Why, Hercules! (SPUTTERING)

_________________________________

It's you!

_________________________________

-Let me help you with that.

-No, no, no, no, no. I got it!

_________________________________

(STRAINING) I'm fine.

You just run along.

_________________________________

-Are you sure?

-Oh, yes.

_________________________________

Absolutely.

_________________________________

Yo! Give it here! (GASPS)

_________________________________

Hey, you need an extra guy?

_________________________________

Uh...

_________________________________

Sorry, Herc.

_________________________________

Uh, we already got five,

and we want to keep it an even number.

_________________________________

Hey, wait a second. Five isn't an even...

_________________________________

-See ya, Herc.

-What a geek!

_________________________________

-Destructo Boy.

-Maybe we should call him "Jerkules."

_________________________________

(LAUGHTER)

_________________________________

BOY: Heads up!

_________________________________

I got it!

_________________________________

No! Stop!

_________________________________

-(RUMBLING)

-Uh-oh.

_________________________________

-(CROWD MURMURING)

-HERCULES: No.

_________________________________

It's okay.

_________________________________

(CROWD YELLING)

_________________________________

Hey! Whoa!

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

-Son!

-Hang on, Pop! Be right back!

_________________________________

Oh, my! No! Don't! No, no, no, no!

_________________________________

No, no, no, no, no, no!

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

(SIGHS, CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

-Watch out!

-(YELLS)

_________________________________

(CRASHING)

_________________________________

(CROWD MURMURING)

_________________________________

Nice catch, Jerkules.

_________________________________

-Son...

-(MAN SPUTTERING)

_________________________________

This is the last straw, Amphitryon!

_________________________________

That boy is a menace!

_________________________________

He's too dangerous

to be around normal people!

_________________________________

(CROWD GRUMBLING, MUTTERING)

_________________________________

He didn't mean any harm.

He's just a kid.

_________________________________

He just can't control his strength.

_________________________________

I'm warning you.

_________________________________

You keep that freak away from here!

_________________________________

-BOY: Freak! Yeah, go away!

-(CROWD AGREEING)

_________________________________

(SIGHS) Son, you shouldn't let those

things they said back there get to you.

_________________________________

But, Pop, they're right. I am a freak.

I try to fit in. I really do.

_________________________________

(SIGHS) I just can't.

_________________________________

Sometimes I feel like

I really don't belong here,

_________________________________

like I'm supposed to be someplace else.

_________________________________

Hercules, son...

_________________________________

I know it doesn't make any sense.

_________________________________

I have often dreamed of a far off place

_________________________________

Where a great, warm welcome

will be waiting for me

_________________________________

Where the crowds will cheer

when they see my face

_________________________________

And a voice keeps sayin'

this is where I'm meant to be

_________________________________

I will find my way

_________________________________

I can go the distance

_________________________________

I'll be there someday

_________________________________

If I can be strong

_________________________________

I know every mile

_________________________________

Will be worth my while

_________________________________

I would go most anywhere to feel like I

_________________________________

Belong

_________________________________

Hercules,

_________________________________

there's something your mother and I

have been meaning to tell ya.

_________________________________

But if you found me,

then where did I come from?

_________________________________

Why was I left here?

_________________________________

This was around your neck

when we found you.

_________________________________

It's the symbol of the gods.

_________________________________

This is it! Don't you see?

Maybe they have the answers!

_________________________________

I'll go to the temple of Zeus and...

_________________________________

Ma, Pop,

_________________________________

you're the greatest parents

anyone could have, but...

_________________________________

I gotta know.

_________________________________

(COCK CROWING)

_________________________________

I am on my way

_________________________________

I can go the distance

_________________________________

I don't care how far

_________________________________

Somehow, I'll be strong

_________________________________

I know every mile

_________________________________

Will be worth my while

_________________________________

I would go most anywhere

_________________________________

To find where I belong

_________________________________

Oh, mighty Zeus,

_________________________________

please, hear me and answer my prayer.

_________________________________

I need to know.

_________________________________

Who am I?

_________________________________

Where do I belong?

_________________________________

(WIND WHISTLING)

_________________________________

Huh?

_________________________________

(ROCK CREAKING)

_________________________________

My boy.

_________________________________

My little Hercules.

_________________________________

-(CREAKING)

-Ahhhh!

_________________________________

-(GRUNTING)

-Hey, hey, hey. Hold on, kiddo!

_________________________________

What's your hurry?

_________________________________

After all these years, is this the kind of

hello you give your father?

_________________________________

Father?

_________________________________

Didn't know you had a famous father,

did you?

_________________________________

-Surprise!

-(COUGHING)

_________________________________

Look how you've grown.

_________________________________

Why, you've got your mother's

beautiful eyes and my strong chin. Hah!

_________________________________

I don't understand.

_________________________________

If you're my father,

that would make me a...

_________________________________

-A god.

-A god.

_________________________________

A god!

_________________________________

Hey, you wanted answers,

_________________________________

and by thunder, you're old enough

now to know the truth.

_________________________________

But why did you leave me on Earth?

Didn't you want me?

_________________________________

Of course we did.

_________________________________

Your mother and I

loved you with all our hearts.

_________________________________

Someone stole you from us

and turned you mortal,

_________________________________

and only gods

can live on Mount Olympus.

_________________________________

And you can't do a thing?

_________________________________

I can't, Hercules, but you can.

_________________________________

Really? What? I'll do anything.

_________________________________

Hercules, if you can prove yourself

a true hero on Earth,

_________________________________

your godhood will be restored!

_________________________________

A true hero. Great!

_________________________________

Exactly how do you

become a true hero?

_________________________________

First, you must seek out Philoctetes,

the trainer of heroes.

_________________________________

Seek out Philoctetes.

Right. I'll... Whoa!

_________________________________

Whoa! Hold your horses!

_________________________________

Which reminds me.

_________________________________

(WHISTLES)

_________________________________

(TRILLING WHISTLING)

_________________________________

ZEUS: Ha ha!

_________________________________

You probably don't remember Pegasus,

but you two go way back, son.

_________________________________

(WHINNYING, SNIFFING)

_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

(LAUGHS)

_________________________________

Oh, Pegasus!

_________________________________

He's a magnificent horse

with the brain of a bird.

_________________________________

(WHISTLING) Huh?

_________________________________

I'll find Philoctetes

and become a true hero.

_________________________________

That's the spirit!

_________________________________

I won't let you down, Father!

_________________________________

Yee-haw!

_________________________________

Good luck, son.

_________________________________

I will beat the odds

_________________________________

I can go the distance

_________________________________

I will face the world

_________________________________

Fearless, proud and strong

_________________________________

I will please the gods

_________________________________

I can go the distance

_________________________________

Till I find my hero's welcome

right where I

_________________________________

Belong

_________________________________
_________________________________

Um...

_________________________________

Good timing. Give me a hand, will ya?
_________________________________
Move that pedestal over there for me.
_________________________________
I gotta spruce this place up
for the games.
_________________________________
_________________________________
It weighs a ton!
_________________________________

_________________________________

It's way too heavy!

_________________________________

What? Too heavy?
_________________________________
Since when have you
been such a little...
_________________________________
Oh. Wrong guy. What're you doing here?
_________________________________
This here's the world-famous Coliseum,
_________________________________
heroes only!
_________________________________
And I got my hands full
preparing for the games.
_________________________________
So run along, pip-squeaks.
_________________________________
Look, it's like this.
_________________________________
Heroes are coming from all over
_________________________________
to fight ferocious monsters
right here in the Coliseum.

_________________________________

You got heroes standing
right in front of you.

_________________________________

Yup. He's a real hero
chosen by the Keyblade!

_________________________________

And we're heroes, too.

_________________________________

Hero? That runt?

_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

What's so funny?
I've fought a bunch of monsters!

_________________________________

Hey, if you can't even move this...
_________________________________
you can't call yourself...
_________________________________
a hero!

_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Okay, so it takes more than brawn.
Well, well, let's see what you can do.
_________________________________
_________________________________

This trial is tough. You got what it takes?
_________________________________
-You ready?

-I'm ready!

_________________________________

Okay, kid. Let's see what you've got.
_________________________________

_________________________________

You know, you ain't bad, kid.

_________________________________

Looks like I'm headed for the games.

_________________________________

Afraid not.

_________________________________

Why not?

_________________________________

Two words.
_________________________________
You guys ain't heroes.

_________________________________

Come on!
_________________________________
_________________________________
Wanna become a real hero?
Start by mastering this spell.
_________________________________

_________________________________

-(BIRDS SCREECHING)

-(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

(GOAT BLEATING)

_________________________________

(BLEATING)

_________________________________

-(BLEATING)

-Whoa!

_________________________________

You sure this is the right place?

_________________________________

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHTER ECHOES)

_________________________________

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

_________________________________

(BLEATING)

_________________________________

What's the matter, little guy?

You stuck?

_________________________________

Hey, butt out, buddy!

_________________________________

-Ugh!

-(ALL GASPING)

_________________________________

Girls! Stop! Stop!

Come back, come back, come back.

_________________________________

Whoa, whoa! Oh. Geez!

_________________________________

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, Nymphs!

_________________________________

-They can't keep their hands off me.

-Hey!

_________________________________

(GRUMBLING)

_________________________________

What's the matter?

You never seen a satyr before?

_________________________________

Uh, no. Can you help us?

_________________________________

We're looking for someone

called Philoctetes.

_________________________________

Call me Phil.

_________________________________

-Phil!

-Ow!

_________________________________

Boy, am I glad to meet you!

I'm Hercules.

_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-This is Pegasus.

_________________________________

Animals! Disgusting!

_________________________________

-(SNORTS)

-I need your help.

_________________________________

I want to become a hero, a true hero.

_________________________________

-Sorry, kid. Can't help ya.

-Wait!

_________________________________

Uh, sorry.

_________________________________

-Why not?

-Two words, I am retired.

_________________________________

Look, I gotta do this.

_________________________________

Haven't you ever had a dream,

_________________________________

something you wanted so bad

you'd do anything?

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

Kid, come inside.

I want to show you something.

_________________________________

(NEIGHING, GRUNTING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(SIGHS) Rather a stubborn old goat,
wouldn't you say?

_________________________________

Who are you?

_________________________________

Whoa, hold on there, fuzz boy.
Wait, let me guess.
_________________________________
You want to enter the games, right?
_________________________________
Well, then, hey, get a load of this.

_________________________________

A pass?

_________________________________

It's all yours. Good luck, kid.
I'm pulling for you, little shorty.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Hey, how'd you get this?

_________________________________

Can we enter the games now?

_________________________________

Well... I guess so.
We start with the preliminaries!
_________________________________
-Ready for the preliminaries?

-Yeah, let's go!

_________________________________

Some real weirdos
signed up for the games.
_________________________________
Better watch yourself.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Watch it!

That was part of the mast of the Argo.

_________________________________

-The Argo?

-Yeah.

_________________________________

Who do you think

taught Jason how to sail?

_________________________________

Cleopatra?

_________________________________

I trained all those would-be heroes.

_________________________________

Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus.

A lot of "yeuseus."

_________________________________

And every single one of those bums

let me down flatter than a discus.

_________________________________

None of 'em could go the distance.

_________________________________

And then there was Achilles.

_________________________________

Now, there was a guy who had it all,

the build, the foot speed.

_________________________________

He could jab, he could take a hit,

he could keep on comin'.

_________________________________

But that furshlugginer heel of his!

_________________________________

He barely gets nicked there once

and kaboom!

_________________________________

He's history.

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

Yeah, I had a dream once.

_________________________________

I dreamed I was gonna train

the greatest hero there ever was.

_________________________________

So great, the gods would hang a picture

of him in the stars all across the sky,

_________________________________

and people would say,

"That's Phil's boy."

_________________________________

That's right.

_________________________________

Eh, but dreams are for rookies.

_________________________________

A guy can only take

so much disappointment.

_________________________________

But I'm different than

those other guys, Phil!

_________________________________

I can go the distance.

Come on. I'll show you.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

-(WHINNYING)

-Geez! You don't give up, do ya?

_________________________________

Watch this.

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Holy Hera.

_________________________________

(MUTTERING) You know, maybe if I...

No! Snap out of it!

_________________________________

I'm too old

to get mixed up in this stuff again.

_________________________________

But if I don't become a true hero, I'll

never be able to rejoin my father, Zeus.

_________________________________

Hold it!

_________________________________

Zeus is your father, right?

_________________________________

-Uh-huh.

-(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Zeus. The big guy. He's your daddy.

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Mr. Lightning Bolts!

_________________________________

Read me a book, would ya, Da-da?

_________________________________

Zeus!

(MIMICS ZEUS) "Once upon a time..."

_________________________________

It's the truth!

_________________________________

Please!

_________________________________

So you wanna be a hero, kid

_________________________________

Well, whoop-de-do

_________________________________

I have been around the block before

_________________________________

With blockheads just like you

_________________________________

Each and every one a disappointment

_________________________________

Pain for which there ain't no ointment

_________________________________

So much for excuses

Though a kid of "Zeus" is

_________________________________
Askin' me to jump into the fray

_________________________________

My answer is two words

_________________________________

Okay.

_________________________________

-You mean you'll do it?

-You win.

_________________________________

-You won't be sorry, Phil.

-Oh, gods.

_________________________________

So when do we start?

Can we start now?

_________________________________

Oy vey.

_________________________________

I'd given up hope

that someone would come along

_________________________________

A fella who'd ring the bell for once

Not the gong

_________________________________

The kind who wins trophies

_________________________________

Won't settle for low fees

_________________________________

At least semipro fees

_________________________________

But, no, I get the greenhorn

_________________________________

I've been out to pasture, pal

My ambition gone

_________________________________

Content to spend lazy days

and to graze my lawn

_________________________________

But you need an advisor

_________________________________

A satyr, but wiser

_________________________________

A good merchandiser and... Whoa

_________________________________

There goes my ulcer

_________________________________

I'm down to one last hope

and I hope it's you

_________________________________

Though, kid, you're not exactly

a dream come true

_________________________________

I trained enough turkeys

Who never came through

_________________________________

You're my one last hope

So you'll have to do

_________________________________

Rule number six.

_________________________________

When rescuing a damsel...

(SHRILL WHISTLE)

_________________________________

...always handle with care.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

No!

_________________________________

Rule number 95, kid. Concentrate!

_________________________________

Rule number 96.

_________________________________

Aim!

_________________________________

Demigods have faced the odds

And ended up a mockery

_________________________________

Don't believe the stories

That you read on all the crockery

_________________________________
To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art

_________________________________

Like paintin' a masterpiece

_________________________________

It's a work of heart

_________________________________

It takes more than sinew

_________________________________

Comes down to what's in you

_________________________________

You have to continue to grow

_________________________________

Now, that's more like it!

_________________________________

I'm down to one last shot

And my last high note

_________________________________

Before that blasted underworld

gets my goat

_________________________________

My dreams are on you, kid

_________________________________

Go make 'em come true

_________________________________

Climb that uphill slope

_________________________________
Keep pushin' that envelope

_________________________________

You're my one last hope

_________________________________

And, kid, it's up to you

_________________________________
Yeah!

_________________________________

(HERCULES LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Did you see that?

_________________________________

Next stop, Olympus.

_________________________________

All right, just take it easy, champ.

_________________________________

I am ready. I want to get off this island.

_________________________________

I want to see battles and monsters.

_________________________________

-Rescue some damsels.

-(WHINNYING SIGH)

_________________________________

You know, heroic stuff.

_________________________________

-Well...

-Aw, come on! Phil!

_________________________________

Well, okay. Okay, you want a road test?

Saddle up, kid.

_________________________________

We're going to Thebes!

_________________________________

_________________________________

(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

We need to loosen those ancient joints.

_________________________________

First the wheels.

_________________________________

And forward, and rest,

and forward, and rest.

_________________________________

Join me! Rest. (HUFFING) And rest.

_________________________________

Is all this resting necessary?

_________________________________

We're working you in slowly.

And reach for your lunch.

_________________________________

Reach for your lunch.

_________________________________

Now reach, to the front.

_________________________________

What is there? It's your lunch.

_________________________________

Now backwards. Is lunch there?

_________________________________
McQUEEN: When do we go

on the simulator?

_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

This is not working.

Are we getting close?

_________________________________
SADNESS: Yeah, just another right.

_________________________________

And... a left and then another... left and...

_________________________________

Uh, are you sure

you know where we're going?

_________________________________

Because we seem to be

walking away from Headquarters.

_________________________________

Riley's awake.

_________________________________

Ooh! Oh!

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS NERVOUSLY)

_________________________________

Don't touch. Remember?

_________________________________

If you touch them, they stay sad.

_________________________________

Oh, sorry, I won't. Starting now.

_________________________________

Oh, I can't take much more of this.

_________________________________
FORGETTER BOBBY: Forget them!

_________________________________

Mind workers!

_________________________________

But, Joy, we're almost...

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

Phone numbers.

_________________________________

We don't need all these.

They're in her phone.

_________________________________

-Excuse me, hi.

-Just forget all of that. Please. Forget it!

_________________________________

-I need to find Friendship Island.

-Look at this.

_________________________________

Four years of piano lessons.

_________________________________
FORGETTER BOBBY: Yeah,

it looks pretty faded.

_________________________________

You know what'? Save Chopsticks

_________________________________

and Heart and Soul, get rid of the rest.

_________________________________

-Are you...

-US Presidents. What do you think?

_________________________________

Yeah, just keep

Washington, Lincoln and the fat one.

_________________________________

-Forget 'em!

-Hey!

_________________________________

You can't throw those away!

_________________________________

Those are perfectly good memories.

_________________________________

The names of

every "Cutie Pie Princess" doll?

_________________________________

Yes! That is critical information!

_________________________________
JOY: Glitterstorm, Honeypants...

_________________________________

Forget 'em!

_________________________________

Hey! Bring those back!

_________________________________

They're in the dump. Nothing

comes back from the dump.

_________________________________

Yeah. Look, lady, this is our job, okay?

_________________________________

When Riley doesn't care

about a memory, it fades.

_________________________________

-Fades?

-Happens to the best of them.

_________________________________

Yeah, except for this bad boy.

(LAUGHS) This one will never fade.

_________________________________

MAN: ♪ TripleDent gum

WOMAN: ♪ Will make you smile ♪

_________________________________

(GASPS) The song

from the gum commercial?

_________________________________

You know, sometimes we send that one

_________________________________

up to Headquarters for no reason.

_________________________________

It just plays in Riley's head

over and over again.

_________________________________

-Like a million times!

-(LAUGHS)

_________________________________

Let's watch it again!

_________________________________

♪ TripleDent gum ♪

_________________________________

Yeah, I know. We all know the song.

_________________________________

Okay. Yeah, real catchy. Okay.

_________________________________

Hey, what do you think?

Should we do it?

_________________________________

Yeah!

_________________________________

Okay, here we go!

_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)

_________________________________

♪ TripleDent gum ♪

_________________________________

What the... This again?

_________________________________

(SINGING ALONG)

_________________________________

Wait! Do you know how to

get to Friendship Island?

_________________________________

(ROCK INTRO TO ELVIS PRESLEY

SINGING "STUCK ON YOU")

_________________________________

Doo-doo

_________________________________

You Can Shake An Apple

Off An Apple Tree

_________________________________

Shake-a, Shake-a, Sugar,

But You'll Never Shake Me

_________________________________

Uh-uh-uh

_________________________________

Doo-doo-doo

_________________________________

No, Siree, Uh-uh...

_________________________________

-Uh-uh.

-...Doo-doo-doo

_________________________________

Doo-doo-doo

_________________________________

I'm Gonna Stick Like Glue

_________________________________

Stick Because I'm...

_________________________________

Stuck On You

_________________________________

I'm Gonna Run My Fingers

_________________________________

Through Your Long, Black hair...

_________________________________

Hey, over here, little buddy.

_________________________________

...Squeeze You Tighter

Than A Grizzly Bear

_________________________________

-Uh-uh-uh

-Doo-doo-doo

_________________________________

Yes, Siree, Uh-huh

_________________________________

Doo-doo-doo, Doo-doo-doo

_________________________________

I'm Gonna Stick Like Glue

_________________________________

Stick Because I'm...

_________________________________

Stuck On You

_________________________________

Hide In The Kitchen

_________________________________

Hide In The Hall

_________________________________

Ain't Gonna Do You No Good At All

_________________________________

'Cause Once I Catch Ya

And The Kissin' Starts
_________________________________

A Team O' Wild Horses

Couldn't Tear Us Apart

_________________________________

Try To Take A Tiger

From His Daddy's Side...

_________________________________

(LAUGHS)

_________________________________

When you're ready to give up

just let us know, heh?

_________________________________

Whee!

_________________________________

...Uh-uh-uh...

_________________________________
_________________________________
CRUZ: Good morning,

Mr. McQueen. Looking good.

_________________________________

(YELPS AND GRUNTS)

_________________________________

Why?

_________________________________

This'll get oil to places
it hasn't been in a long time.

_________________________________

-Is that a drip pan?

-Just in case.

_________________________________

How old do you think I am?

_________________________________

Visualize yourself driving fast

down a steep hill.

_________________________________
I'll be back in a few.

_________________________________

Visualize... Wait. Cruz! A few what?

_________________________________

I just want to go on the simulator.

_________________________________

KURT: How's it hanging, Drip Pan?
_________________________________
_________________________________

You're no heroes yet,
but you ain't doing bad.
_________________________________
Lucky you came to me for coaching.
_________________________________

Something tells me
he'll be a tough one to beat.
_________________________________
Who knows,
maybe you'll end up facing him.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(ENGINES ROARING)

_________________________________

-'Sup?

-Okay, day three...

_________________________________
Treadmill. I've set a maximum

speed to conserve your energy.

_________________________________

What I want you to do is

visualize beating this guy.

_________________________________

(McQUEEN GRUNTS)

_________________________________

-Storm!
-Uh-huh, that's right.

_________________________________

Get him! Get him, Mr. McQueen!

_________________________________

Get him? This thing's only

going like 5 miles an hour!

_________________________________

We'll work up to the higher speeds

right after you take your nap.

_________________________________

-Nap? I don't need a nap!

-(RACERS LAUGHING)

_________________________________

KURT: Hit him with the bugs! (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

I am not taking a nap!
_________________________________

_________________________________

-HERCULES: So what's in Thebes?

-A lot of problems.

_________________________________

It's a big, tough town.

Good place to start buildin' a rep.

_________________________________

-(WOMAN SCREAMING)

-(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

Sounds like your basic DID,

Damsel in Distress.

_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-(EVIL LAUGHTER)

_________________________________

Not so fast, sweetheart.

_________________________________

I swear, Nessus. Put me down or I'll...

_________________________________

Whoo! I like 'em fiery!

_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-Now, remember, kid.

_________________________________

First, analyse the situation.

_________________________________

Don't just barrel in there

without thinking.

_________________________________

-(NESSUS GROWLING)

-He's losin' points for this!

_________________________________

-You don't know what you're...

-Halt!

_________________________________

Step aside, two legs.

_________________________________

Pardon me, my good sir.

_________________________________

I'll have to ask you to

release that young...

_________________________________

-Keep movin', junior.

-Lady.

_________________________________

But you...

Aren't you a damsel in distress?

_________________________________

I'm a damsel, I'm in distress.

_________________________________

I can handle this. Have a nice day.

_________________________________

Uh. (CLEARS THROAT)

_________________________________

Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be

too close to the situation to realize...

_________________________________

Ohhh!

_________________________________

-What are you doin'? Get your sword!

-Sword. Right, right.

_________________________________

Rule number 15,

a hero is only as good as his weapon!

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(FISH SHRIEKING)

_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

Whoa! Hold it! Hold on!

He's gotta do it on his own.

_________________________________

Come on, kid! Concentrate!

_________________________________

-Use your head!

-(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

Oh.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

All right! Not bad, kid!

_________________________________

Not exactly what I had in mind,

but not bad.

_________________________________

(GROANS, COUGHS)

_________________________________

Oh, gee, miss, I'm really sorry.

That was dumb.

_________________________________

-Yeah.

-(SPLASHING)

_________________________________

Excuse me.

_________________________________

Nice work! Excelente!

_________________________________

Is Wonderboy here for real?

_________________________________

What are you talkin' about?

Of course he's real.

_________________________________

Whoa!

_________________________________

And by the way, sweet cheeks,

I'm real, too.

_________________________________

-(KISSING SOUNDS)

-Ugh!

_________________________________

Yee-hah! Yahoo!

_________________________________

Whoa!

_________________________________

(PUFFS)

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

-How was that, Phil?

-Rein it in, rookie.

_________________________________

You can get away with mistakes

like those in the minor decathlons,

_________________________________

but this is the big leagues!

_________________________________

At least I beat him, didn't I?

_________________________________

Next time, don't let your guard down

because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes!

_________________________________

It's like I keep tellin' ya.

You gotta stay focused, and... You...

_________________________________

(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

-(SNORTING)

-(BLEATING)

_________________________________

Are you all right, Miss...

_________________________________

Megara. My friends call me Meg.

At least, they would if I had any friends.

_________________________________

So did they give you a name

along with all those rippling pectorals?

_________________________________

(SHY CHUCKLE)

Uh, I'm, um, uh...

_________________________________

(STAMMERING)

_________________________________

Are you always this articulate?

_________________________________

Hercules. My... (CLEARS THROAT)

My name is Hercules.

_________________________________

Hercules. I think I prefer Wonderboy.

_________________________________

So, how'd you get mixed up with the...

_________________________________

Pinhead with hooves?

Well, you know how men are.

_________________________________

They think that "No" means "Yes, " and

"Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."

_________________________________

(CONFUSED WHINNY)

_________________________________

Don't worry.

Shorty here can explain it to ya later.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

Well, thanks for everything, Herc.

It's been a real slice.

_________________________________

Wait! Can we give you a ride?

_________________________________

(SNORTING, WHINNYING)

_________________________________

I don't think

your pinto likes me very much.

_________________________________

Pegasus? Oh, no. Don't be silly.

He'd be more than happy to... Ow.

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough girl.

I tie my own sandals and everything.

_________________________________

Bye-bye, Wonderboy.

_________________________________

Bye.

_________________________________

-She's something. Isn't she, Phil?

-(GROWLS)

_________________________________

Yeah. Yeah. She's really something.

_________________________________

A real pain in the patella!

_________________________________

Earth to Herc!

Come in, Herc! Come in, Herc!

_________________________________

We got a job to do, remember?

(WHISTLES)

_________________________________

Thebes is still waitin'.

_________________________________

HERCULES: Yeah. Yeah. I know.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Say, you're better than I thought, kid!
Wish he was here to see this.

_________________________________

-Who?

-Hercules.
_________________________________
He's a hero if ever there was one.
Too bad he's off visiting his father.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Yeah!

_________________________________

(FAST-TEMPO DRUMMING)

_________________________________

(DRUMMING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

(SLURPS)

_________________________________

(FLAMES ROAR, AUDIENCE GASPS)

_________________________________

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

This is you.

_________________________________

This is your badness level.

_________________________________

It's unusually high

for someone your size.

_________________________________

We have to fix that.

_________________________________

Ay-yi-yi, Lilo!

_________________________________

Your dog cannot sit at the table.

_________________________________

Stitch is troubled. He needs desserts.

_________________________________

Oh, you didn't even eat

your sweet potato.

_________________________________

I thought you liked them.

_________________________________

Desserts!

_________________________________
(SIGHS)

_________________________________

(PEOPLE LAUGHING AND CHATTING)

_________________________________
LILO: David!

_________________________________

I got a new dog.

_________________________________

-Oh! You sure it's a dog?

-Uh-huh.

_________________________________

He used to be a collie

before he got ran over.

_________________________________

Yum!

_________________________________

(GOBBLING)

_________________________________

-Hey...

-Blah!

_________________________________

Eww!

_________________________________

Howzit, Nani?

_________________________________

Did you catch fire again?

_________________________________

Nah, just the stage.

_________________________________

Listen, I was wondering

if you're not doing anything this...

_________________________________

David, I told you, I can't. I...

_________________________________

I got a lot to deal with right now.

_________________________________

I know. I just figured

you might need some time...

_________________________________

You smell like a lawn mower.

_________________________________

(EXHALES AND SNIFFS)

_________________________________

Look, I got to go.

_________________________________

The kid at Table 3's throwing poi again.

_________________________________

Maybe some other time, okay?

_________________________________
LILO: Don't worry.

_________________________________

She likes your butt and fancy hair.

_________________________________

I know. I read her diary.

_________________________________

She thinks it's fancy?

_________________________________

(GRUMBLING)

_________________________________

Blech!

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)

_________________________________

(EXCITED GRUNT)

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)

_________________________________

Oh! Mmm!

_________________________________

Aha! Look what I find! Get restraints!

_________________________________

-Right.

-Ow! Take that! Hurry!

_________________________________

Uh, hold still just a...

_________________________________

(PLEAKLEY SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(GASPING) Aah!

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

(NANI GRUNTING WITH EFFORT)

_________________________________

(SHOUTS)

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

(PLEAKLEY SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(COUGHING)

_________________________________

MAN: Hey, Nani!

_________________________________

-Is that your dog?

-Uh...

_________________________________
PLEAKLEY: (WITH WOMAN'S VOICE)

All is well.

_________________________________

Please, go about your business.

I'm okay.

_________________________________

Oh, your head looks swollen.

_________________________________

Actually, she's just ugly.

_________________________________

(NERVOUS LAUGHTER)

_________________________________

Darling... He's joking.

_________________________________

Ugly, look at me...

_________________________________

Uh, this is not working out.

_________________________________

-Uh, b-but...

-Mm-mm.

_________________________________

Yeah?

_________________________________

Well, who wants to work

at this stupid...

_________________________________

Fakey luau anyway.

_________________________________

Come on, Lilo.
_________________________________

_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: All cars in
the test bay simulator...
_________________________________
(YAWNING)

_________________________________

How was your nap, Mr. McQueen?

_________________________________

It was kind of refreshing actually.

_________________________________

Oh! Okay, what are you... Hey!

_________________________________

You've been driving on tires a long time.

_________________________________

Have you ever stopped

to get to know them?

_________________________________

I'm sorry, what?

_________________________________

Tires are individuals.
You should give each a name.

_________________________________

Name them? (SCOFFS)
I won't be doing that.

_________________________________

Mine are named Maria, Juanita,

Ronaldo, and Debbie Richardson.

_________________________________

-What?
-Long story.

_________________________________

 May I have my tires back so I can go
on the simulator please?

_________________________________

Name them!

_________________________________

Uh, Lefty, Righty, Backy,

Backy Junior. Okay?

_________________________________

-Does this make you mad?
-Yes, it does!

_________________________________

Use that! And merge, and yield,

_________________________________

-and merge, and yield.

-(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

_________________________________

Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Now you got some tire damage.

_________________________________

Speed bump, speed bump.

_________________________________

Now clean up your messy garage.

_________________________________

-Bug in your windshield.

-Thank you, Cruz, I'm done.

_________________________________

Mr. McQueen, where are you going?

_________________________________
McQUEEN: To the future.
_________________________________

_________________________________
HADES: That little punk is your
next opponent, okay?

_________________________________

Now, don't blow it. Just take him out.

_________________________________

The great god of the Underworld
is afraid of a kid?
_________________________________
Sorry, but my contract says...

_________________________________

I know! You think I don't know?
I wrote the contract!
_________________________________
I know it says you're only required
to kill Hercules in this tournament.
_________________________________
But you've gotta fight that
kid to get to him. Come on.
_________________________________
Hey, it's like that old goat says,
_________________________________
rule 11. It's all just a game,
so let loose and have fun with it!
_________________________________
I mean, a casualty or two along
the way is no big deal, right?

_________________________________

Geez. Stiffer than the stiffs back home.
_________________________________
Still, suckers like him are
hard to come by...
_________________________________

_________________________________

(ANIMALS TITTERING)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

Aw... How cute.

_________________________________

A couple of rodents

looking for a theme park.

_________________________________

Who you callin' a rodent, sister?

I'm a bunny!

_________________________________

And I'm his gopher.

_________________________________

TOGETHER: Ta-da!

_________________________________

I thought I smelled a rat.

_________________________________

HADES: Meg?

_________________________________

Speak of the devil.

_________________________________

Meg, my little flower, my little bird,

my little nut, Meg.

_________________________________

What exactly happened here?

_________________________________

I thought you were gonna

persuade the river guardian

_________________________________

to join my team for the uprising,

_________________________________

and here I am,

kind of river guardian-less.

_________________________________

I gave it my best shot,

but he made me an offer I had to refuse.

_________________________________

Fine. So, instead of subtracting

two years from your sentence,

_________________________________

hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay?

_________________________________

Give that your best shot.

_________________________________

It wasn't my fault.

It was this wonderboy, Hercules.

_________________________________

Hercules?

Why does that name ring a bell?

_________________________________

I don't know.

Maybe we owe him money?

_________________________________

-What was that name again?

-Hercules.

_________________________________

He comes on with

this big, innocent farm boy routine,

_________________________________

but I could see through that

in a Peloponnesian minute.

_________________________________

Wait a minute.

_________________________________

Wasn't Hercules the name

of that kid we were supposed to...

_________________________________

-Oh, my gods!

-Oh, my gods!

_________________________________

-Run for it!

-(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

So you took care of him, huh?

_________________________________

Dead as a door nail.

_________________________________

Weren't those your exact words?

_________________________________

This might be a different Hercules.

_________________________________

Yeah! I mean, Hercules

is a very popular name nowadays!

_________________________________

Remember, like, a few years ago,

every other boy was named Jason,

_________________________________

and the girls were all named Brittany?

_________________________________

I'm about to rearrange the cosmos,

_________________________________

and the one schlemiel who can louse

it up is waltzing around in the woods!

_________________________________

(PANTING)

_________________________________

Wait. Wait, big guy.

_________________________________

-We can still cut in on his waltzing.

-That's right!

_________________________________

And at least we made him mortal.

That's a good thing.

_________________________________

Didn't we?

_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

Fortunately for the three of you,

_________________________________

we still have time to correct

this rather egregious oversight.

_________________________________

And this time, no foul-ups.

_________________________________

Wow!

_________________________________

-Is that all one town?

-One town, a million troubles.

_________________________________

The one and only Thebes.

The Big Olive itself.

_________________________________

If you can make it there,

you can make it anywhere.

_________________________________

(CROWD BUSTLING)

_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)

_________________________________

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

_________________________________

Stick with me, kid.

This city is a dangerous place.

_________________________________

-Look where you're goin', numbskull!

-Hey, I'm walkin' here!

_________________________________

You see what I mean?

I'm tellin' you, wackos.

_________________________________

MAN: Pitta bread. Pitta bread.

Get your pitta bread here.

_________________________________

Hey, Mack.

_________________________________

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

_________________________________

-You wanna buy a sundial?

-He's not interested, all right?

_________________________________

Come on, kid.

_________________________________

The end is coming! Can't you feel it?

_________________________________

Yes, yes. Thank you for the info. Yes.

We'll ponder that for a while.

_________________________________

Just stare at the sidewalk. Come on.

_________________________________

Don't make eye contact.

People here are nuts.

_________________________________

That's because

they live in a city of turmoil.

_________________________________

Trust me, kid.

_________________________________

You're gonna be

just what the doctor ordered.

_________________________________

It was tragic!

We lost everything in the fire.

_________________________________

Everything except old Snowball here.

_________________________________

(WEAK MEOW)

_________________________________

Now, were the fires

before or after the earthquake?

_________________________________

They were after the earthquake.

I remember.

_________________________________

But before the flood.

_________________________________

Don't even get me started

on the crime rate.

_________________________________

Thebes has certainly

gone downhill in a hurry.

_________________________________

OLD MAN: Tell me about it.

_________________________________

It seems like every time I turn around,

_________________________________

there's some new monster

wreaking havoc and I...

_________________________________

All we need now is a plague of locusts.

_________________________________

-(CHIRPING)

-(CROWD SCREAMING)

_________________________________

That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!

_________________________________

HERCULES: Excuse me.

_________________________________

It, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

_________________________________

...seems to me that what

you folks need is a hero.

_________________________________

Yeah, and who are you?

_________________________________

I'm Hercules, and I happen to be a hero.

_________________________________

(CROWD LAUGHING)

_________________________________

-Is that so?

-WOMAN: (LAUGHING) A hero!

_________________________________

-Have you ever saved a town before?

-Uh, no. Not exactly, but I...

_________________________________

Have you ever

reversed a natural disaster?

_________________________________

Well, uh, no.

_________________________________

Listen to this.

He's just another chariot chaser.

_________________________________

-This we need.

-WOMAN: That's a laugh.

_________________________________

-Don't you pea brains get it?

-WOMAN: Hmm?

_________________________________

This kid is the genuine article.

_________________________________

Hey, isn't that the goat-man

who trained Achilles?

_________________________________

Watch it, pal.

_________________________________

Yeah, you're right.

_________________________________

Hey, nice job on those heels!

_________________________________

Ya missed a spot! (LAUGHING)

_________________________________

I got your heel right here!

_________________________________

I'll wipe that stupid grin

off your face! You...

_________________________________

Hey, Phil! Phil! Phil! Take it easy. Phil.

_________________________________

What are you, crazy? Sheesh!

_________________________________

Young man, we need

a professional hero, not an amateur.

_________________________________

Well, wait. Stop!

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

How am I supposed to prove myself

a hero if nobody will give me a chance?

_________________________________

You'll get your chance.

_________________________________

You just need some kind of

catastrophe or disaster.

_________________________________

MEG: (PANTING) Please.

_________________________________

Help! Please!

There's been a terrible accident!

_________________________________

-Meg?

-Speakin' of disasters.

_________________________________

Wonderboy! Hercules!

Thank goodness!

_________________________________

What's wrong?

_________________________________

Outside of town, two little boys.

They were playing in the gorge.

_________________________________

There was this terrible rockslide.

_________________________________

-They're trapped!

-Kids? Trapped?

_________________________________

Phil, this is great!

_________________________________

You're really choked up about this,

aren't ya?

_________________________________

Come on!

_________________________________

No, I... You don't...

I have this terrible fear of heights!

_________________________________

-(GROANS)

-(SNICKERS)

_________________________________

-(PANTING)

-(CROWD CHATTERING)

_________________________________

I'm right behind ya, kid! Whoo!

_________________________________

I'm way behind ya, kid.

_________________________________

(SPUTTERING) I got a fur wedgie.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Oh, right, there was
one other rule I forgot.
_________________________________
Accidents happen.

_________________________________

Herc!

_________________________________

Phil, get them out of here!
_________________________________
_________________________________

Whew, that was close!
_________________________________
That was Cerberus,
the guardian of the Underworld.
_________________________________
Herc should be able to handle him.
_________________________________
But then again, maybe not...
This doesn't look good.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Hey, what are you doing up here?

_________________________________

(WILBUR COOING)

_________________________________

(COOING)

_________________________________

Would you quit that, please?

I know you're not a pigeon.

_________________________________

(SHUSHING)

_________________________________

You're blowing my cover.

_________________________________

We're the only ones up here.

_________________________________

That's just what they want you to think.

_________________________________

Now, enough moping.

_________________________________

Take this back to the science fair

and fix that Memory Scanner.

_________________________________

Stop! Stop! Get away from me!

_________________________________

Maybe you've forgotten.

_________________________________

I'm a time cop from the future,

should be taken very seriously.

_________________________________

That's no badge.

_________________________________

This is a coupon for a tanning salon!

You're a fake.

_________________________________

Okay, you got me. I'm not a cop,

_________________________________

but I really am from the future,

_________________________________

and there really is this Bowler Hat Guy.

_________________________________

Here we go again.

_________________________________

He stole a time machine,

came to the science fair

_________________________________

and ruined your project.

_________________________________

My project didn't work

because I'm no good.

_________________________________

There is no Bowler Hat Guy,

there is no time machine,

_________________________________

and you're not from the future!

_________________________________

You're crazy!

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING) I am not crazy.

_________________________________

Oh, yeah, Captain Time Travel?

Prove it.

_________________________________

Um...

_________________________________

Yeah, that's what I thought.

_________________________________

I'm just gonna go lock myself

in my room

_________________________________

and hide under the covers

for a couple years.

_________________________________

If I prove to you I'm from the future,

will you go back to the science fair?

_________________________________

Yeah, sure, whatever you say.

_________________________________

Hey, let go of me!

_________________________________

-What are you doing? Let go of me!

-Okay.

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(ENGINE WHIRRING)

_________________________________

What is this? Where are we going?

_________________________________

To the future!

_________________________________

(THE FUTURE HAS ARRIVED 

PLAYING)

_________________________________

(SINGING) The future has arrived

_________________________________

The future has arrived today

_________________________________

The future has arrived

_________________________________

The future has arrived today

_________________________________

(INAUDIBLE)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Kid, you're not entering the arena,
are ya?
_________________________________
This ain't just some match.
This is for real!

_________________________________

I'm not afraid.
_________________________________
You can decide if I'm
hero material or not.

_________________________________

Careful, kid!
_________________________________

_________________________________

-(WHINNYING)

-(MEG GASPING)

_________________________________

-(TRILLING WHISTLE)

-(GROANING)

_________________________________

-Are you okay?

-I'll be fine.

_________________________________

Just get me down

before I ruin the upholstery.

_________________________________

PAIN: Help! I can't breathe!

PANIC: (COUGHING) Hurry!

_________________________________

-Get us out!

-We're suffocating!

_________________________________

Somebody call IX-I-I! (COUGHING)

_________________________________

Easy, fellas. You'll be all right.

_________________________________
-We can't last much longer!

-Get us out before we get crushed!

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(LIGHT APPLAUSE)

_________________________________

-How you boys doin'?

-We're okay now.

_________________________________

Jeepers, mister. You're really strong.

_________________________________

Well, try to be a little more careful

next time, okay, kids?

_________________________________

We sure will.

_________________________________

HADES: A stirring performance, boys.

_________________________________

I was really moved. (SLURPING)

_________________________________

"Jeepers, mister"?

_________________________________

I was going for innocence.

_________________________________

And, hey, two thumbs

way, way up for our leading lady.

_________________________________

What a dish. What a doll.

_________________________________

Get outta there, you big lug,

while you still can.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Okay. Here we go. How do I do this?

_________________________________

-Come on, baby.
-Mr. McQueen...

_________________________________

Cruz, thank you for the old-man

training, as crazy as it was,

_________________________________

but I'm... warmed up enough

and now I need you to launch this thing.

_________________________________

Wait until you can handle it. Please?

_________________________________

-There are no shortcuts.

-(CLICKING)

_________________________________

Okay. We'll just see about that.

_________________________________
STERLING: All right.

My star racer is on the simulator!

_________________________________

Why, yes, I am!

_________________________________

Well, let's see you

take it out for a spin.

_________________________________

Right away, Mr. Sterling,

owner of the company.

_________________________________

Is this proof enough for you?

_________________________________

Is it ever!

_________________________________

I never thought that time travel

could be possible in my lifetime,

_________________________________

and here it is, right in front of me!

_________________________________

The truth will set you free, brother.

_________________________________

This is beyond anything

I could've imagined.

_________________________________

This means

I could really change my life.

_________________________________

That's right. You can.

_________________________________

Next stop, science fair,

to fix your Memory Scanner.

_________________________________

Okay. Have fun.

_________________________________

(CLICKS SWITCH)

_________________________________

This is what I'm talking about.

_________________________________

Whoa. Didn't know about those.
(GASPS)

_________________________________

SIMULATOR: Prepare to race.

The green flag is out.

_________________________________

I don't see the flag. What do I do?

_________________________________

-Go.
-Go?
_________________________________

_________________________________

(PANTING) Phil, I did great.

_________________________________

They even applauded, sort of.

_________________________________

-(GROWLING)

-Huh!

_________________________________

I hate to burst your bubble, kid,

but that ain't applause.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

Phil? What do you call that thing?

_________________________________

PHIL: Two words.

_________________________________

(THUNDERING ROAR)

_________________________________

Am-scray!

_________________________________

-(MONSTER HISSING)

-(CROWD SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(ECHOING) Let's get ready to rumble!

_________________________________

_________________________________

Kid, I got two words of advice for you.
_________________________________
Attack!
_________________________________

_________________________________

That's it. Dance around! Dance around!

_________________________________

Watch the teeth. Watch the teeth.

Keep going. Come on. Come on.

_________________________________

Lead with your left.

Lead with your left! Your other left!

_________________________________

(MONSTER SNARLING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Whoa! (YELLING)

_________________________________

-(SWALLOWS HARD)

-(GROANING)

_________________________________

(LOUD BURP)

_________________________________

-(GROANS)

-(CROWD MUTTERING)

_________________________________

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

(LOUD APPLAUSE)

_________________________________

All right! All right! You're bad! Okay!

_________________________________

See, Phil? That... That wasn't so hard.

_________________________________

Kid, kid, kid.

_________________________________

How many horns do ya see?

_________________________________

Six?

_________________________________

Eh, close enough.

Let's get you cleaned up.

_________________________________

(NERVOUS MUTTERING)

_________________________________

(GULPS)

_________________________________

Guys, guys, relax.

_________________________________

It's only half-time.

_________________________________

(FAINT RUMBLING)

_________________________________

That doesn't sound good.

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

Definitely not good!

_________________________________

(MONSTER HISSING)

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(REVVING)

_________________________________

Whoa.

_________________________________

That's sensitive. (YELPING)

_________________________________

SIMULATOR: You have hit a wall.

_________________________________

-It shouldn't be this hard, should it? Ah!
-You have hit a wall.

_________________________________

You're fighting the simulator.

Just race like you always do.

_________________________________

-You have hit a wall.
-Whoa.

_________________________________

There can't be this many walls
on a regular track!

_________________________________

You have been passed by
Jackson Storm.

_________________________________

-Wait, Storm's in here?

-For motivation.

_________________________________

Storm races at 207.
Pick it up, Mr. McQueen!

_________________________________

I'm trying!

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

Whoa! Whoa!

_________________________________

Will you forget the head-slicing thing?

_________________________________

Hyah!

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

Phil, I don't think we covered

this one in basic training!

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

(MONSTER HISSING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

Uh, she did not just say that.

_________________________________

A new girl? Meg has

a new friend already?

_________________________________

-(ANGER GRUMBLING)

-Hey, hey! Stay happy!

_________________________________

We do not want to lose

any more islands here, guys!
_________________________________

_________________________________

Hey, I'm not gonna fix

that stupid Memory Scanner.

_________________________________

(SCREECHING)

_________________________________

-What?

-Wilbur, this is a time machine!

_________________________________

Why should I fix my dumb invention

_________________________________

when you can take me

to see my mom now in this ship?

_________________________________

Uh... Um...

_________________________________

I could actually go back to that night

and stop her from giving me up.

_________________________________

The answer is not a time machine.

It's this.
_________________________________

_________________________________

You like to read minds, Meg?

_________________________________

I got something

for you to read, right here!

_________________________________

Let's just be calm for one second! Ahhh!

_________________________________

(YELLING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

This? You want to know

what I think about this?

_________________________________

What are you doing?

_________________________________

I'm sorry, Wilbur,

_________________________________

but you don't know

what I've lived through.

_________________________________

-Ahhh!
-You have hit a wall.

_________________________________

Mr. McQueen, come down from there

and we'll work you up to this.

_________________________________

I am fine, Cruz. I can do it, okay?

_________________________________

-Lewis, no!
-Let go!

_________________________________

-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

-(TIRES SCREECHING)

_________________________________

-(CRASHING)
-Ahh!

_________________________________

-You have jumped a barrier.
-Oh!

_________________________________

-You let go!

-You're not the boss of me!

_________________________________

Yes, I am, 'cause you're 12, and I'm 13.

_________________________________

That makes me older.

_________________________________

(BABBLING)

_________________________________

(GASPS) Sorry!

_________________________________

You have maimed two vehicles.

_________________________________

Well, I was born in the past,

_________________________________

which makes me older

and the boss of you!

_________________________________

You have destroyed a drinking fountain.

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

You have disabled an ambulance.

_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)

_________________________________

You are on fire. Danger. Danger.

_________________________________

You are going the wrong way.

_________________________________

My favourite part of the game,

_________________________________

-(ROARING)

-(GROANING)

_________________________________

sudden death.

_________________________________

Look out! Turn it off!

_________________________________

Get these things off of me!

_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-(ROCK CREAKING)

_________________________________

ALL: Huh?

_________________________________

-(SCREAMING)
-(CRASHING)

_________________________________

(CROWD GASPING)

_________________________________

SIMULATOR: You have crashed.

You have crashed.

_________________________________

Oh!

_________________________________

There goes another one.

Just like Achilles.

_________________________________

-Are you all right?

-You have crashed.

_________________________________

I have crashed.
_________________________________

(ELECTRICITY BUZZING)

_________________________________

(POWER SHUTS DOWN)

_________________________________

I am so dead.

_________________________________
CRUZ: It's not easy for him.
STERLING: Cruz, just relax.

_________________________________

-Give him another chance.

-STERLING: I will talk to him.
_________________________________
CRUZ: I can still work with him.
STERLING: I know he's your project.

_________________________________

Okay, could you just please

tell me which way is...

_________________________________

(BOTH CHATTERING)

_________________________________

-(RUMBLING)

-Oh, no!

_________________________________

Friendship Island! What?

_________________________________

Oh, not Friendship.

_________________________________

Oh, Riley loved that one.

And now it's gone.

_________________________________

Goodbye, friendship.

_________________________________

-(SIGHS)

-Hello, loneliness.

_________________________________

(GRUMBLING)

_________________________________

-CRUZ: Are you sure?
-Cruz.

_________________________________

-CRUZ: Well, can't you just...
-Cruz.

_________________________________
CRUZ: It's not easy for him.

_________________________________
STERLING: Look, I'm trying to help you.
McQUEEN: Whoa.

_________________________________

I'm not allowed to look at this thing,

let alone drive it!

_________________________________

Mom and Dad are gonna kill me,

_________________________________

and I can tell you this.

It will not be done with mercy.

_________________________________

Isn't there like

a time machine repair shop

_________________________________

-or something?

-No!

_________________________________

There's only two time machines

in existence,

_________________________________

and the Bowler Hat Guy

has the other one!

_________________________________

Well, somebody's gonna have

to fix this.

_________________________________

Good idea. You're smart. You fix it.

_________________________________

Are you crazy? I can't fix this thing.

_________________________________

Yes, you can. You broke it. You fix it.

_________________________________

You're all warshed up, McQueen.

_________________________________

(STUTTERS) I'm sorry. What?

_________________________________

I said, the floor's
all washed up and clean.

_________________________________

Oh, right. (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

We'll just have to go the long way.

_________________________________

Yeah. The long, long, long, long way.

_________________________________
SADNESS: I'm ready.

_________________________________

Game.

_________________________________

Set.

_________________________________

Match.

_________________________________

-STERLING: Thank you very much.
-Uh...

_________________________________

Good luck.

_________________________________
STERLING: Hey, Lightning.

_________________________________

Come on in.
Got something to show you. You ready?

_________________________________

Uh, for what?

_________________________________

Wow.

_________________________________

You are about to become
the biggest brand in racing.

_________________________________

We are talking saturation on all

continents for every demographic.

_________________________________

Movie deals, infomercials,

product endorsements.

_________________________________

-McQUEEN: Mudflaps?
-Of course.

_________________________________

We'll be rich beyond belief.

You think you're famous now?

_________________________________

-(LAUGHS)
-(CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY)

_________________________________

I thought you'd be mad

about the simulator.

_________________________________

I mean, this is all great, Mr. Sterling,
I guess, but I don't know.

_________________________________

I've never really thought

of myself as a brand.

_________________________________

Oh, nor do I. I'm a fan.

Maybe your most avid.

_________________________________

I think of this as your legacy!

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

_________________________________

It sounds like something that

happens after you're done racing.

_________________________________

Mr. Sterling, what is this about?

_________________________________

Look, Lightning. I'm not gonna race you.

_________________________________

What? What do you mean not race me?

_________________________________

-Hold on. Hold on.

-I'm not going to Florida?

_________________________________

You have no idea how excited I was
to get you here because...

_________________________________

I knew you'd be back.

_________________________________

It was gonna be the

comeback story of the year!

_________________________________

But your speed and performance

just aren't where they need to be.

_________________________________

I'm sorry.

_________________________________

We're talking about speed
on a simulator.

_________________________________

-Listen to how crazy that sounds.

-Look, I'm trying to help you.

_________________________________

As your sponsor, yes,
but also as your friend.

_________________________________

Your racing days are coming to an end.

_________________________________

Every time you lose,

you damage yourself.

_________________________________

Damage the brand, you mean?

_________________________________

Oh, Lightning, come on.

You've done the work.

_________________________________

Now move on to the next phase
and reap the reward.

_________________________________

The racing is the reward. Not the stuff.

_________________________________

I don't want to cash in.

_________________________________

I want to feel the rush
of moving 200 miles an hour...

_________________________________

inches from the other guys,

_________________________________

pushing myself faster
than I thought I could go!

_________________________________

That's the reward, Mr. Sterling!

_________________________________

Oh, Lightning, come on.

_________________________________

Look, I can do this. I can, I promise!

_________________________________

I'll train like I did with Doc.

_________________________________

I'll get my tires dirty
on every dirt track from here to Florida.

_________________________________

I can start on Fireball Beach
where all the old greats used to race.

_________________________________

Get your tires dirty.

_________________________________

That's how you're gonna

get faster than Storm?

_________________________________

Yes! Exactly! I mean, sacred dirt, right?

_________________________________

Mr. Sterling, if you care about
my legacy, the one that Doc started,

_________________________________

you'll let me do this.
I promise you, I will win.

_________________________________

(SIGHS) I don't know.

What you're asking, it's too risky.

_________________________________

Come on. You like it, I can tell.

_________________________________

It's got that little "comeback story

of the year" feel to it, doesn't it?

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

One race?

_________________________________

If you don't win at Florida,
you'll retire?

_________________________________

Look, if I don't win
I'll sell all the mudflaps you got.

_________________________________

But if I do win,
I decide when I'm done. Deal?

_________________________________

Deal.

_________________________________

Thank you, Mr. Sterling.

You won't be sorry.

_________________________________

Just one thing and this is only because

I don't like taking chances.

_________________________________

You're taking someone with you.

_________________________________

All right, under one condition.

_________________________________

I fix it,

you take me back to see my mom.

_________________________________

What? You didn't even follow through

on our last deal.

_________________________________

How can I trust you?

_________________________________

Well, you told me you were a time cop

from the future.

_________________________________

How can I trust you?

_________________________________

Touché.

_________________________________

So do we have a deal?
_________________________________

_________________________________

-(GROANS)

-(ROCK CREAKING)

_________________________________

(CROWD GASPING)

_________________________________

(CHEERING)

_________________________________

Phil, you gotta admit.

That was pretty heroic.

_________________________________

Ya did it, kid! Ya did it!

You won by a landslide!

_________________________________

(STRAINING)

_________________________________

Hades mad.

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

Well, what do ya know?

_________________________________

_________________________________

Thus, I do hereby
dub thee junior heroes,
_________________________________
and confer upon thee full rights
_________________________________
and privileges to participate
in the games. Further...

_________________________________

Hey! What do you mean
"junior heroes"?

_________________________________

You rookies still don't understand
what it takes to be a true hero.

_________________________________

So, what does it take?

_________________________________

Well, that's just something you'll
have to find out for yourselves.
_________________________________
Just the way that I did.

_________________________________

No problem. We'll start by
proving ourselves in the games.

_________________________________

There ain't gonna be
any games for a while.
_________________________________
Gotta clean up the mess
from that last battle first.

_________________________________

Okay, we'll be back.

_________________________________

I still can't believe that squirt
actually beat Cerberus.

_________________________________

Just between us,
_________________________________
I'd already worn Cerberus down
by the time the little guy jumped in.

_________________________________

My lips are sealed.
_________________________________

_________________________________

SORA: Hey, are you all right?

_________________________________

CLOUD: Yeah.

_________________________________

So why did you go along
with him, anyway?

_________________________________

I'm looking for someone.
Hades promised to help.
_________________________________
I tried to exploit the power of
darkness, but it backfired.
_________________________________
I fell into darkness,
and couldn't find the light.

_________________________________

SORA: You'll find it.
_________________________________
I'm searching, too.

_________________________________

For your light?
_________________________________
Don't lose sight of it.

_________________________________

How about a rematch sometime?
Fair and square,
_________________________________
no dark powers involved.

_________________________________

I think I'll pass.
_________________________________

_________________________________

HADES: He's strong, he's kind.
_________________________________
He's always there for you,
and he's handsome to boot.
_________________________________
He's perfect. Perfect. Perfectly
infuriating! He makes me crazy.
_________________________________

Wait a minute.
What are you worried about?
_________________________________
All the pieces are in place. Relax.
_________________________________
Here's what you do.
Let Hercules train the kid.
_________________________________
In the next games,
I'll take care of them both.

_________________________________

Who invited you to the party?
Stay out of this. This is my show.

_________________________________

As you wish.
Fight to your heart's content.

_________________________________

_________________________________
May 2017

_________________________________

_________________________________

(CAR HONKING)

_________________________________

Good day, madam.

_________________________________

-I'm here to change the future.

-Yes, sir?

_________________________________

I must speak with the man

in charge immediately.

_________________________________

-Yes, sir.

-I have an appointment with destiny.

_________________________________

Very good, sir. I'll let Smith know,

_________________________________

and I'll have your dry cleaning

delivered directly to your suite.

_________________________________

-What?

-Now, what time is your appointment?

_________________________________

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

_________________________________

-Are you talking to me?

-Yes.

_________________________________

What time is your appointment?

_________________________________

(DORIS TWITTERING)

_________________________________

Big hand is on the... Oh, 2:00!

_________________________________

You're the 2:00?

_________________________________

Yes. Yes, I am.

_________________________________

You're Mary Johnson?

_________________________________

Yes.

_________________________________

Mary is short for...

_________________________________

Marian?

_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)

_________________________________

-Can that be a boy name?

-(SIGHS) Yes.

_________________________________

-(CLICKING TONGUE) Then yes.

-(SIGHING) Have a seat.

_________________________________

Oh, goody!

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

"Pass off invention as my own." Check.

Oh, I love checklists.

_________________________________
RECEPTIONIST: The board is ready

to see you now.

_________________________________

Wait. What am I going to say?

_________________________________

(DORIS TWITTERING)

_________________________________

I'm never gonna remember that.

_________________________________

Would you... Why don't you go?

You do it so much better than me.

_________________________________

(DORIS TWITTERING)

_________________________________

That's true.

_________________________________

A hat without a head

couldn't really pass off an invention

_________________________________

as its own.

_________________________________

(TWITTERING)

_________________________________

Fantastic! Great idea!

I'm so glad I have you!

_________________________________

"Prepare to be amazed." Oh, I got it!

_________________________________

Prepare to be amazed!

_________________________________

"This is my invention."

_________________________________

"I doubt any of you have seen

anything as brilliant as this device."

_________________________________

Very well,

_________________________________

Miss Johnson?

_________________________________

It's Ms.

_________________________________

You have two minutes. Please begin.

_________________________________

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

_________________________________

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________

-It's shiny!

-What is that thing?

_________________________________

Well, I like to call it my...

_________________________________

To call it my...

_________________________________

-What are you looking at?

-No! I... The sun, in my eyes.

_________________________________

Well, then let me close the blinds.

_________________________________

Now, the name?

_________________________________

(STAMMERING) Well, what...

_________________________________

We can quibble about names

at a later date.

_________________________________

The point is,

what I have here is special, unique.

_________________________________

Yes. Yes, you must love it

and buy it and mass produce it,

_________________________________

and the best part is,

it's got really comfy headphones.

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

I wonder, could you lean forward

just a little bit, please?

_________________________________

Yes, thank you.

_________________________________

Yes, they are quite comfortable.

_________________________________

What do you hope

to accomplish with this?

_________________________________

Oh, nothing of consequence.

_________________________________

I simply wish to crush the dreams

of a poor little orphan boy!

_________________________________

After that, it's all a little fuzzy.

_________________________________

You mean,

you haven't thought this through?

_________________________________

Thirty seconds.

_________________________________

Allow me to show you how it works.

_________________________________

First, we turn it on.

_________________________________

Uh... Hmm.

_________________________________

That's not it.

_________________________________

Ten seconds.

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)

_________________________________

(DINGS)

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

So where do I sign?

_________________________________

(BOWLER HAT GUY READING)

_________________________________

Doris, it's all over.

_________________________________

All our hopes and dreams dashed,

_________________________________

like so many pieces

of a broken machiney thing.

_________________________________

(TWITTERING)

_________________________________

You're right.

_________________________________

Success is still ours for the taking.

_________________________________

We must find that boy.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(SNIFFS)
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

(SNIFFS)
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Mmm.
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Mmm?
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(TOILET FLUSHING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(GROANS) There's got to be

a better way.

_________________________________

-(BING BONG HUMMING)

-(GASPS)

_________________________________
BING BONG: Ooh! Look at you!

_________________________________

Huh?

_________________________________

I will take you, but not you.

_________________________________

Oh, who am I kidding? I can't leave you.

_________________________________

-Hello!

-(BING BONG EXCLAIMS)

_________________________________

Wait! Hey! Wait!

_________________________________

(CLATTERING)

_________________________________

Oh, wait! Stop!

_________________________________

(BING BONG PANTING)

_________________________________

-Excuse me.

-Ah!

_________________________________

Uh, I was looking for, um... Diversion!

_________________________________

-JOY: What?

-Ha-ha! So long, sucker!

_________________________________

(CLATTERING)

_________________________________
BING BONG: Ow, I hurt all over.

_________________________________

Wait. I know you.

_________________________________

No, you don't. I get that a lot.

_________________________________

I look like a lot of people.

_________________________________

No, no, no. I do. (GASPS)

_________________________________

Bing Bong! Riley's imaginary friend!

_________________________________

-You really do know me?

-Well, of course!

_________________________________

Riley loved playing with you!

You two are best friends!

_________________________________

Oh! Oh, you would know.

_________________________________

We're trying to get

back to Headquarters.

_________________________________

Headquarters? You guys

are from Headquarters?

_________________________________

Well, yeah. I'm Joy. This is Sadness.

_________________________________

-You're Joy? The Joy?

-JOY: Mmm-hmm.

_________________________________

What the heck are you doing out here?

_________________________________

That's a good question.

You want to answer that, Sadness?

_________________________________

Wow. Without you,

Riley won't ever be happy.

_________________________________

We can't have that.

We got to get you back.

_________________________________

I'll tell you what. Follow me!

_________________________________

Oh, thank you!

_________________________________

It is so great to see you again.

_________________________________

I gotta tell you, I am such

a huge fan of your work.

_________________________________

Do you remember when you

and Riley were in a band?

_________________________________

(LAUGHS) I went to all of your concerts.

_________________________________
BING BONG: Yeah, I blow a mean nose.

_________________________________
JOY: Watching you play tag

was such a treat.

_________________________________
BING BONG: Two-time world champ.

_________________________________
JOY: Oh! And remember your rockets?

_________________________________
BING BONG: Of course!

It runs on song power!

_________________________________

That's right! Your theme song!

_________________________________

♪ Who's your friend who likes to play?

_________________________________

♪ Bing Bong

Bing Bong

_________________________________

♪ His rocket makes you yell "Hooray!"

_________________________________

BOTH: ♪ Bing Bong, Bing Bong ♪

_________________________________

What exactly are you supposed to be?

_________________________________

You know, it's unclear.

I'm mostly cotton candy.

_________________________________

But shape-wise I'm part cat,

part elephant, part dolphin.

_________________________________

Dolphin?

_________________________________

(MIMICS DOLPHIN CLICKING)

_________________________________

You got to remember,

when Riley was three,

_________________________________

animals were all the rage.

_________________________________

The cow goes moo.

The horse goes neigh.

_________________________________

That's all people talked about back then.

_________________________________

Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's true.

_________________________________

What are you doing out here?

_________________________________

Well, there's not much call

for imaginary friends lately.

_________________________________

So, uh, I, you know, um...

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

Hey, hey. Don't be sad.

_________________________________

Tell you what. When I get

back up to Headquarters,

_________________________________

I'll make sure Riley remembers you.

_________________________________

-You will?

-Of course!

_________________________________

-She'd love that.

-(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

This is the greatest day of my life!

_________________________________

Ha, cha, cha, cha, cha. Ow!

_________________________________

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

_________________________________

Oh, are you okay?

_________________________________

Hey, what's going on?

_________________________________

I cry candy.

_________________________________

Try the caramel. It's delicious.

_________________________________

Ooh. Whoa!

_________________________________

Ooh, here, use this.

_________________________________

-Thanks!

-Whoa, hold on, wait a second.

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

It always gets stuck at the bottom.

_________________________________

-(TRUMPET BLOWS)

-(CAT SCREECHING)

_________________________________

Here. What? It's imaginary.

_________________________________

Thanks. This will make it a lot easier

_________________________________

to walk back to Headquarters.

_________________________________

Walk? We're not walking.

_________________________________

We're taking the Train of Thought!

_________________________________

(HORN BLARING)

_________________________________
JOY: The train, of course!

_________________________________

That is so much faster!

But how do we catch it?

_________________________________

Well, it kind of goes all over the place,

_________________________________

but there is a station

in Imagination Land.

_________________________________

I know a shortcut. Come on, this way!

_________________________________
JOY: Oh, I am so glad we ran into you!

_________________________________

The station is right

through here. After you.

_________________________________

-Joy.

-What?

_________________________________

I read about this place

_________________________________

in the manual. We shouldn't go in there.

_________________________________

Bing Bong says

it's the quickest way to Headquarters.

_________________________________

No, but, Joy, this is abstract thought.

_________________________________

What are you talking about?

_________________________________

I go in here all the time.

It's a shortcut, you see?

_________________________________

D-A-N-G-E-R. Shortcut.

I'll prove it to you.

_________________________________

Look at me. I'm closer to the station

_________________________________

because I'm taking the shortcut.

_________________________________

Let's go around. This way.

_________________________________
BING BONG: Almost there!

_________________________________

If you want to walk the long way,
go for it.

_________________________________

But Riley needs to be happy.

_________________________________

I'm not missing that train.

_________________________________

Bing Bong knows what he's doing.

_________________________________
JOY: He's part dolphin.

They're very smart.

_________________________________
SADNESS: Well, I guess.

_________________________________

Okay, what abstract concept

_________________________________

are we trying to comprehend today?

_________________________________

Um... Loneliness.

_________________________________

Hmm. Looks like

there's something in there.

_________________________________

I'm going to turn it on for a minute

_________________________________

and burn out the gunk.

_________________________________
BING BONG: What did I tell you?

You'll be at Headquarters in no time.

_________________________________
SADNESS: Whoa!

_________________________________
BING BONG: Say,

would you look at that?

_________________________________

Whoa! What's happening?

_________________________________

Oh, no, they turned it on.

_________________________________

Huh. Never seen this before.

_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)

_________________________________

My face! My beautiful face! Oh!

_________________________________

-What is going on?

-We're abstracting!

_________________________________

There are four stages. This is the first:

_________________________________

Non-objective Fragmentation!

_________________________________

All right. Do not panic.

_________________________________

What is important is that

we all stay together. Oh!

_________________________________

(JOY EXCLAIMS)

_________________________________

We're in the second stage.

We're deconstructing!

_________________________________

Run! Ah!

_________________________________

I can't feel my legs!

_________________________________

Oh, there they are.

_________________________________

Come here, me!

_________________________________

(SADNESS GRUNTING)

_________________________________

We've got to get out of here

(YELLS IN PAIN)

_________________________________

before we're nothing

but shape and color!

_________________________________

Ow! We'll get stuck here forever!

_________________________________

Stuck? Why did we come in here?

_________________________________

I told you, it's a shortcut!

_________________________________

-(TRAIN HONKING HORN)

-(GASPS) The train!

_________________________________

(ALL GRUNTING)

_________________________________
SADNESS: Oh, no. We're

two-dimensional! That's stage three!

_________________________________

We're getting nowhere!

_________________________________

-Depth! I'm lacking depth!

-Come on.

_________________________________

(JOY GRUNTING)

_________________________________

We can't fit.

_________________________________
SADNESS: Oh, no, we're Nonfigurative.

_________________________________

This is the last stage!

_________________________________
BING BONG: We're not going to make it!

_________________________________

(SADNESS GROANING)

_________________________________
SADNESS: Wait! We're

two-dimensional. Fall on your face!

_________________________________

(BELL RINGING)

_________________________________

(JOY GRUNTING)

_________________________________
JOY: Stop! Stop!

_________________________________

Oh, no! I thought you said

that was a shortcut.

_________________________________

I did, but wow,

we should not have gone in there.

_________________________________

That was dangerous!

They really should put up a sign.

_________________________________

How long until the next train?

_________________________________

-Who knows. But don't worry.

-(GROANING)

_________________________________

There's another station. That way.

_________________________________

The train always stops there.

_________________________________

Right before it goes to Headquarters.

_________________________________

If we hurry, we can catch it.

_________________________________

This isn't another one

of your shortcuts, is it?

_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Yeah!

_________________________________

(WHISPERING) Is there

really another station?

_________________________________

Uh-huh. Through there.

_________________________________
BING BONG: Welcome to

Imagination Land!

_________________________________

(GASPS) Imagination Land?

_________________________________
BING BONG: Sure!

_________________________________

I come here all the time.

I'm practically the mayor.

_________________________________

Hey, you guys hungry?

There's French Fry Forest!

_________________________________

-Mmm! Delicious.

-No way!

_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)

-(BING BONG EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________
BING BONG: Check it out!

Trophy Town!

_________________________________

Medals! Ribbons! Everyone's a winner!

_________________________________

I won first place!

_________________________________

-Me too!

-Oh, participation award.

_________________________________

Wait, is that... Sadness,

look, it's Cloud Town!

_________________________________

(GASPS) That is my favorite!

_________________________________

(WHOOPING) Oh, it's so soft!

_________________________________

Oh! Let me try.

_________________________________

Hey! What's the big idea?

_________________________________

You better fix that wall,

or else you're in big troub...

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

Oh, no! Lava! Whoo! Oh!

_________________________________

Imagination Land is the best!

_________________________________

Oh, is it all going to be so interactive?

_________________________________

Hey, look! The House of Cards!

_________________________________

Oh, wait. Hang on just a minute.

_________________________________

-JOY: (GASPS) Your rocket!

-Yeah.

_________________________________

I stashed it in there for safekeeping,

_________________________________

and now I'm all set to

take Riley to the moon!

_________________________________

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Great.

_________________________________

Oh, I love Imagination Land.

_________________________________

Isn't it great? And there's

always something new, like...

_________________________________
BING BONG: Who the heck is that?

_________________________________

Imaginary boyfriend.

_________________________________

I would die for Riley.

_________________________________

-(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

-Oh, I've never seen him before.

_________________________________

I live in Canada.

_________________________________

Anyway, this way.

Through Preschool World!

_________________________________

We're nearly to the train!

_________________________________

Riley, here we come! Whoo-hoo!

_________________________________

(BING BONG LAUGHS)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

What are you doing, Buck?
_________________________________

All rocks tell a tale.
_________________________________

Where we've been
and where we're heading.

_________________________________

-(SNIFFING)

-(BOTH GASP)
_________________________________

(BOTH SNIFFING)
_________________________________

Ah!
_________________________________

That, however, is a turd.
_________________________________

Julian...
_________________________________

I want you to know
that if we don't make it...

_________________________________

if we never get married...
_________________________________

you were the only one for me.
_________________________________

Hey, come on!
_________________________________

Of course we'll make it,

and we will get married.
_________________________________

But maybe it's the universe

telling us we won't.
_________________________________
SID: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

_________________________________

You're going to let one tiny little...
_________________________________

300-mile-wide asteroid ruin your plans?
_________________________________

How can we think about our future
_________________________________

when we may not have one?
_________________________________

Hey, we're going to stop this thing
_________________________________

and you'll get married.
_________________________________

Bada-bing, bada-boom!
_________________________________

Well, not boom. Forget I said boom.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

I know! I'll be your wedding planner!
_________________________________

It'll take your mind

off all this end-of-the-world stuff.
_________________________________

Actually, we were just gonna wing it!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Keep it low-key.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

Peaches. Peaches. Sweetheart.
_________________________________

you don't just wing

the happiest day of your life!
_________________________________

No, you seize it and you cherish it.
_________________________________

You strangle it with good intentions.
_________________________________

Ooh. Let's start with your hair.
_________________________________

Updo with a top bun? Traditional.
_________________________________

Or updo with a fishtail braid. Flirtatious.
_________________________________

(GIGGLING)
_________________________________

But maybe be a little trashy.
_________________________________

Ugh.
_________________________________

And garter belts!
_________________________________

Today, Ed is modelling laced daisies.
_________________________________

While Crash is rocking

a more elegant ivy...
_________________________________

that's all about the calves.
_________________________________

Ooh. We need a seating chart!
_________________________________

The singles table, the kids table,
_________________________________

the weird relatives table...
_________________________________

the smelly table,
two-more, smelly tables.

_________________________________

(SCOFFS) Look at him.
_________________________________
JULIAN: Oh, you're gonna love it.

_________________________________

Who walks like that?
_________________________________

(MIMICKING JULIAN) Oh! Look at me!

 _________________________________

I'm Julian.
_________________________________

Forget the asteroid.
_________________________________

Gimme a hug, Bro-Dad!
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROATS) Look at

that pretty bird there.
_________________________________

(SQUAWKS)
_________________________________

Yeah! That is a pretty bird.

Good eye, Manny.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
_________________________________

The sky is literally falling...
_________________________________

and she thinks we're just gonna
_________________________________

let her stroll into the wilderness...
_________________________________

with Mr. No Plans Bouncy Walk.
_________________________________

Stop picking on him.
_________________________________

Come on, Ellie, you're not

still mad at me, are you?
_________________________________

No. I'm not still mad.
_________________________________

Because that's not how I want to spend
_________________________________

what could be our final days together.
_________________________________

But if we somehow survive that

planet-killing hunk of space rock...
_________________________________

you're in for it.
_________________________________

If we survive, we lose our daughter.
_________________________________

Well, I've been thinking about that, too.
_________________________________

What if...
_________________________________

Ooh. I know! We destroy

the relationship, right?
_________________________________

That way we never have to let her go...
_________________________________

and she'll just stay our little girl forever!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

No, you psychopath!
_________________________________

What if we convince them

to stay near us?
_________________________________

Oh! That's better.
_________________________________

I like it. But how?
_________________________________

The way we always

get her to do what we want.
_________________________________

We make her think it's her idea.
_________________________________

You sneaky, sneaky minx! (GIGGLES)
_________________________________

Let's just hope we

haven't lost our touch.
_________________________________

Found it!
_________________________________

Behold, mammals!
_________________________________

A sneak preview

of the asteroid to come.
_________________________________

A space rock. Fresh from the cosmos.
_________________________________

Mmm, mmm, mmm.
_________________________________

I taste iron, carbon.
_________________________________

(GARGLES)
_________________________________

Oh! And a hint of nickel.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Space tastes lonely.
_________________________________

Hey, look! I found another one.
_________________________________

Me too!
_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Hmm...
_________________________________

Hey! Yours is attracted to me.
_________________________________

No. Yours is attracted to me.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING AND SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(EDDIE SOBS)
_________________________________

We're just too attractive!
_________________________________

Stupendous! Now we have something
_________________________________

to play with during our final hours.
_________________________________

You're missing the point, Tiger.

They're magnets.
_________________________________

And if these space rocks are magnetic...
_________________________________

so is that.
_________________________________

This can only mean one thing.
_________________________________

And that would be...
_________________________________

Allow me.
_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAM)
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

Where are we?
_________________________________

(ECHOING) You are in my brain.
_________________________________

Hmm. Kind of chilly.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
Gentlemen, here's what we know.

_________________________________

Space rocks? Magnetic.

Asteroid? Also, magnetic.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Famed astrophysicist

Neil deBuck Weasel!
_________________________________

He knows the cosmos.
_________________________________

Ipso facto, thusly and ergo...
_________________________________

the crash site must have

a heap of these things
_________________________________

attracting the asteroid.
_________________________________

Ooh. Pythagoras Buck.

He's got the right angle.
_________________________________

What if we use the magnets to

attract the asteroids somewhere else?
_________________________________

As in, not towards Earth.
_________________________________

Theoretically speaking,
_________________________________

if we can launch

enough of these into space...
_________________________________

they will pull the asteroid off course.
_________________________________

Thus, saving the world.
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

So, we just need to go
to the crash site...

_________________________________

and launch a bunch of rocks into space.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) That's easy, right?
_________________________________

Oh, yeah.

Sounds like a real piece of cake.
_________________________________

This is progress!
_________________________________

Now we know exactly

what we don't know how to do.
_________________________________

Vamanos, mammals!
_________________________________

This trail will take us

directly to the crash site.

_________________________________

All right, kids.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Let's have some fun.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHS)

-Oh!
_________________________________

(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

Okay, everyone. Follow the trail.
_________________________________

Never leave the trail.
_________________________________

-(DISTANT SCREECHING)

-Hmm?
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Okay, everyone. Leave the trail.
_________________________________

Into the forest. Chop, chop.
_________________________________

-But you just said...

-(STAMMERS)
_________________________________

You know I'm crazy. Come on.
_________________________________

(ROARING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(BUCK SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(ALL GASP)
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)

I love the shade. Don't you?
_________________________________

Well played, weasel.
_________________________________

Stay sharp, kids.
_________________________________

They can't hide forever.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

_________________________________

(OWL HOOTING)

_________________________________

Did you lose your job

because of Stitch and me?

_________________________________

Nah. The manager's a vampire

_________________________________

and he wanted me to join

his legion of the undead.

_________________________________

I knew it.

_________________________________

This is a great home. You'll like it a lot.

_________________________________

(HISSES)

_________________________________

See?

_________________________________

Uh, Lilo...

_________________________________

Comfy.

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

-(GRUNTS) Hey!

-Hey!

_________________________________

What is the matter with you?

_________________________________

Be careful of the little angel!

_________________________________

It's not an angel, Lilo.

I don't even think it's a dog.

_________________________________

We just have to take him back.

_________________________________

He's just cranky

because it's his bedtime.

_________________________________
NANI: He's creepy, Lilo.

_________________________________

I won't sleep

while he's loose in the house.

_________________________________
LILO: You're loose in the house

all the time and I sleep just fine!

_________________________________

Hey, what are you doing?

Stop that, Stitch!

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

Hey!

_________________________________

(GROWLING AND GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Look at him, Lilo.

_________________________________

He's obviously mutated

from something else.

_________________________________

We have to take him back.

_________________________________

He was an orphan and we adopted him!

_________________________________

What about "'ohana"?

_________________________________

He hasn't been here that long.

_________________________________

Neither have I.

Dad said 'ohana means family.

_________________________________

-Huh?

-'Ohana means family.

_________________________________

Family means...

_________________________________

BOTH: Nobody gets left behind.

_________________________________

Or?

_________________________________

Or forgotten.

_________________________________

I know. I know. I hate it

when you use 'ohana against me.

_________________________________

Mmm.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

(GIGGLES) Don't worry,

you can sleep right next to me.

_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

(EXHAUSTED SIGH)

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)

_________________________________

Look how curious the puppy is.

_________________________________

This is my room, and this is your bed.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

This is your dolly and bottle.

_________________________________

See? Doesn't spill.

_________________________________

I filled it with coffee.

_________________________________

Good puppy. Now get into bed.

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

Hey! That's mine!

_________________________________

Down!

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

Mmm!

_________________________________

Be careful of that! You don't touch this!

Don't ever touch it!

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

(STITCH MUTTERING

IN ALIEN LANGUAGE)

_________________________________

(CLOTH TEARING)

_________________________________

No! Don't pull on her head!

She's recovering from surgery.

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

No! That's from my blue period.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

(GULPS)

_________________________________

Mmm...

_________________________________

There.

_________________________________

(PURRING)

_________________________________

You know, you wreck

everything you touch.

_________________________________

Why not try and make something

for a change?

_________________________________

(PURRS AND GRUNTS)

_________________________________

(STITCH HUMMING)

_________________________________

(MUTTERING)

_________________________________

-Ah!

-Wow. San Francisco.

_________________________________

(HUMMING)

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

(IN HIGH VOICE) Save me!

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

Eek!

_________________________________

(CHOMPING)

_________________________________

No more caffeine for you.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

 This little girl is wasting her time.

_________________________________

6-2-6 cannot be taught to ignore

its destructive programming.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Ooh!

_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Push that over.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

-What are you doing?

-Nothing!

_________________________________

-Uh, say, I want to try it on.

-No!

_________________________________

Share! Let me try it!

_________________________________

Hey! Ow! You're just jealous

'cause I'm pretty!

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

Don't move. A mosquito has

chosen me as her perch.

_________________________________

She's so beautiful.

_________________________________

(BUZZING)

_________________________________

Look, another one.

_________________________________

And another one!

Why, it's a whole flock.

_________________________________

And they like me!

_________________________________

They're nuzzling my flesh

with their noses.

_________________________________

Now, they're, um, they're...

_________________________________

(PLEAKLEY SCREAMING PAINFULLY)

_________________________________
NANI: I think it might be a koala.

An evil koala.

_________________________________

I can't even pet it.

_________________________________

It keeps staring at me,

like it's going to eat me.

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________
DAVID: (OVER PHONE) Hello?

_________________________________

Nani?

_________________________________

Hello?

_________________________________

Are you there?

_________________________________

(GULPING)

_________________________________

(BURPS)

_________________________________
JUMBA: Now, this is interesting.
PLEAKLEY: What?

_________________________________

6-2-6 was designed to be a monster

_________________________________

but now he has nothing to destroy.

_________________________________

You see, I never gave him

a greater purpose.

_________________________________

What must it be like to have nothing...

_________________________________

Not even memories to visit

in the middle of the night?

_________________________________

Nah!

_________________________________

(SPUTTERS)

_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

Hmm...

_________________________________

(GROWLS AND GRUNTS)

_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

(YAWNS)

_________________________________

That's the Ugly Duckling.

_________________________________

See? He's sad because he's all alone

and nobody wants him

_________________________________

but on this page,

his family hears him crying

_________________________________

 and they find him.

_________________________________

Then the Ugly Duckling is happy

_________________________________

because he knows where he belongs.

_________________________________

Hmm...

_________________________________

(GROWLS AND GRUNTS)

_________________________________
LILO: Want to listen to the King?

_________________________________

You look like an Elvis fan.

_________________________________

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

_________________________________
LILO: Nani.

_________________________________

Nani!

_________________________________

Uh... Yeah?

_________________________________

Look.

_________________________________

(RECORD SCRATCHES AND POPS)

_________________________________

(ELVIS PRESLEY'S VOICE)

We Can't Go On Together

_________________________________

With Suspicious Minds...

_________________________________

(JAWS CREAKING)

_________________________________

...Cious Minds...
_________________________________

(CREAKING)

_________________________________

...Can Build Our Dreams...

_________________________________

(CREAKING)

_________________________________

...On Suspicious Minds...

_________________________________

(POUNDING ON DOOR)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(CREAKS, MUSIC STOPS)

_________________________________

(FRIGHTENED GASP)

_________________________________

Heard you lost your job.

_________________________________

Well, uh, actually, I just quit that job

because, you know,

_________________________________

the hours are just not conducive

to the challenges of raising a child...

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(GRUNTS) Hey!

_________________________________

(GASPS) I am so sorry about that.

_________________________________

What is that thing?

_________________________________

That's my puppy.

_________________________________

Really?

_________________________________

(CRACKING NECK)

_________________________________

Thus far, you have been adrift

in the sheltered harbor of my patience,

_________________________________

but I cannot ignore you being jobless.

_________________________________

Do I make myself clear?

_________________________________

Perfectly.

_________________________________

And next time I see this dog, I expect it

to be a model citizen... Capisce?

_________________________________

Uh... Yes?

_________________________________

New job.

_________________________________

Model citizen.

_________________________________

(PLINKS AND CLATTERS)

_________________________________

Good day.

_________________________________
_________________________________

-(BAT CRACKS)

-(CROWD CHEERING)

_________________________________

(STIR IT UP PLAYING)

_________________________________

Yeah

_________________________________

Ohh

_________________________________

I can't sit here while I go nowhere

_________________________________

Chase my dreams 
through the polluted air

_________________________________

I'm walking on a wire

_________________________________

Running out of time

_________________________________

There's no room in this old heart of mine

_________________________________

Hungry minds will stare you in the eyes

_________________________________

Spread it thick and lay the biggest lies

_________________________________

Words jump off the pages

_________________________________

Passion hits the street

_________________________________

Anger's cookin' in the city heat

_________________________________

World's too crazy I can't take no more

_________________________________

I won't stay here locked behind the door

_________________________________

Got to stir it up

_________________________________

I got to break it up now

_________________________________

When I think about tomorrow

_________________________________

Ooh, I can't wait to

_________________________________

Stir it up 

Got to shake it up now

_________________________________

If I had to beg or borrow

_________________________________

I'm not gonna take it anymore

_________________________________

-Oh-oh oh-ohh-oh oh-ohh-oh

-Come on

_________________________________

-So much pressure to keep holding on

-Whoa

_________________________________

Pack my clothes up, baby

_________________________________

I'll be gone

_________________________________

Stir it up Got to break it up now

When I think about tomorrow

_________________________________

-I can't wait to

-Stir it up

_________________________________

I got to shake it up now

_________________________________

If I have to beg or borrow

_________________________________

I'm not gonna take it no more

_________________________________
_________________________________

Hey, Donald, maybe
King Mickey's down there.

_________________________________

In a backwater place like that? No way!
_________________________________
Let's move on.

_________________________________

Hold on, Riku and Kairi
might be down there.
_________________________________
Let's just check it out.

_________________________________

Forget it!
We're on an important mission!

_________________________________

-Just land!

-No!

_________________________________

-Come on!

-Aw, phooey!

_________________________________

We're landing!

_________________________________

Don't touch that! (QUACKING) No!

_________________________________

_________________________________
Deep Jungle
_
To see the whole adventure, go to: Tarzan – Subtitles (en)
_________________________________

_________________________________