Disney PhilharMagic Fantasia of Spring & Autumn (2019) subtitles (Summer 2019 Part 2)

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(BREATHES DEEPLY)
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Okay.
_________________________________

Huh.
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(SQUEAKING)
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(EXCLAIMS)
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Huh? What...
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
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FLYNN: Is this hair?

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Struggling... Struggling is pointless.
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(RAPUNZEL CLAMBERING DOWN)
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I know why you're here,

and I'm not afraid of you.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

Who are you?

And how did you find me?
_________________________________

(STAMMERING SOFTLY)
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(ENUNCIATING) Who are you,

and how did you find me?
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
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I know not who you are,

nor how I came to find you.
_________________________________

But may I just say...
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Hi.
_________________________________

How you doing?

The name's Flynn Rider.
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How's your day going? Huh?
_________________________________

(GRUNTS IN CONFUSION)
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Who else knows my location,

Flynn Rider?
_________________________________

-All right, blondie.

-Rapunzel.
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Gesundheit. Here's the deal.
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I was in a situation,

gallivanting through the forest.
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I came across your tower and...
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Oh! Oh, no.
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Where is my satchel?
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I've hidden it.

Somewhere you'll never find it.
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It's in that pot, isn't it?
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(CLANGING)
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(GROANING)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS) Would you stop that?
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Now it's hidden

where you'll never find it.
_________________________________

So, what do you want with my hair?

To cut it?
_________________________________

-What?

-Sell it?
_________________________________

No! Listen, the only thing

I want to do with your hair
_________________________________

is to get out of it, literally.
_________________________________

You...
_________________________________

Wait. You don't want my hair?
_________________________________

Why on earth would I want your hair?
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Look, I was being chased,

I saw a tower, I climbed it.
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End of story.
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(STAMMERING) You're telling the truth?
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Yes!
_________________________________

Hmm.
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(GROWLING)
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(GROWLING)
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(SQUEAKING)
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(WHISPERING) I know.

I need someone to take me.
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-(SQUEAKING)

-I think he's telling the truth, too.
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He doesn't have fangs.

But what choice do I have?
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(SIGHS)
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Okay, Flynn Rider,

I'm prepared to offer you a deal.
_________________________________

-Deal?

-Look this way.
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(EXCLAIMING)
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Do you know what these are?
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You mean the lantern thing

they do for the princess?
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Lanterns? I knew they weren't stars.
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Well, tomorrow evening,
_________________________________

they will light the night sky

with these lanterns.
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You will act as my guide,

take me to these lanterns,
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and return me home safely.
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Then, and only then,

will I return your satchel to you.
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That is my deal.
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Yeah.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

No can do.
_________________________________

Unfortunately the kingdom and I

aren't exactly simpatico at the moment,
_________________________________

so I won't be taking you anywhere.
_________________________________

Something brought you here,

Flynn Rider.
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Call it what you will,
_________________________________

-fate, destiny...

-A horse.
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So I have made the decision

to trust you.
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A horrible decision, really.
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But trust me when I tell you this.
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You can tear this tower apart

brick by brick,
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but without my help, you will never find

your precious satchel.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

Let me get this straight.
_________________________________

I take you to see the lanterns,

bring you back home,
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and you'll give me back my satchel?
_________________________________

I promise.
_________________________________

And when I promise something,

I never, ever break that promise.
_________________________________

-Ever.

-(SQUEAKS IN AGREEMENT)
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All right, listen.

I didn't want to have to do this,
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but you leave me no choice.
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Here comes the smolder.
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This is kind of an off day for me.

This doesn't normally happen.
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Fine! I'll take you to see the lanterns.
_________________________________

Really?
_________________________________

Oops.
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(GASPING) You broke my smolder.
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(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Are you coming, blondie?
_________________________________

(SINGING) Look at the world so close
And I'm halfway to it
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Look at it all so big
Do I even dare
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Look at me, there at last
I just have to do it

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Should I? No

Here I go

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(GRUNTS)
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(CHUCKLES)
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(LAUGHING)
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(LAUGHING)
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Just smell the grass, the dirt

Just like I dreamed they'd be
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Just feel that summer breeze

The way it's calling me
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(GASPS)
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For, like, the first time ever
I'm completely free

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I could go running and racing
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And dancing and chasing

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And leaping and bounding
Hair flying, heart pounding

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And splashing and reeling
and finally feeling

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That's when my life begins

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I can't believe I did this!
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(GASPS) I can't believe I did this.
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(LAUGHING) I can't believe I did this!
_________________________________

Mother would be so furious.
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But that's okay. What she doesn't know

won't kill her, right?
_________________________________

(CRYING) Oh, my gosh!

This would kill her.
_________________________________

This is so fun!
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I am a horrible daughter.

I'm going back.
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(LAUGHING) I am never going back!
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I am a despicable human being!
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(WHOOPING)
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Best day ever!
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(KING YELLING)
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KING: My son has been avoiding his
responsibilities long enough.
_________________________________

It's high time he married
and settled down.
_________________________________

Of course, Your Majesty.
_________________________________

But we must be patient.
_________________________________

I am patient!
_________________________________

But I'm not getting any younger,
you know.
_________________________________

I want to see my grandchildren
before I go.
_________________________________

-I understand, Sire.

-No.
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No, you don't know

what it means to see your only child
_________________________________
grow farther, farther,
and farther away from you.
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I'm...
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I'm lonely in this desolate old palace.
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I... I want to hear
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the pitter-patter of little feet again.
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-(SOBBING)

-Now, now, Your Majesty.
_________________________________

-Perhaps if we just let him alone...

-Let him alone?
_________________________________

(STAMMERING)
With his silly romantic ideas?
_________________________________

But, Sire, in matters of love...
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Love. Bah!
_________________________________

Just a boy meeting a girl

under the right conditions.
_________________________________

So, we're arranging the conditions.
_________________________________

But, Your Majesty,

if the Prince should suspect.
_________________________________

Suspect!
_________________________________

Look, the boy's coming home today,
isn't he?
_________________________________

Yes, Sire.
_________________________________

Well, what could be more natural than a
ball to celebrate his return?
_________________________________

(STAMMERS) Nothing, Sire.
_________________________________

If all the eligible maidens

in my kingdom just
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(LAUGHS) happened to be there,
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why, he's bound to show interest
in one of them, isn't he?
_________________________________

Isn't he?
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(STAMMERS) Yes, Sire.
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The moment he does...
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Soft lights.
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Romantic music.
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All the trimmings!
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It can't possibly fail.
_________________________________

Can it?
_________________________________

(STAMMERS) Yes, Sire. No, Sire!
_________________________________

Very well, Sire.
_________________________________
I shall arrange the ball for...
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-Tonight.

-Tonight? Tonight!
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-Oh, but, Sire...
-Tonight!
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And see that every
eligible maid is there.
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Understand? (ECHOING)
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Yes, Your Majesty.
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(FOGHORN)

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(SINGING)
A sailor's life is the life for me
_________________________________

How I love to sail o'er the bounding sea
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I never, ever do
a thing about the weather
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For the weather never ever
does a thing for me
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Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me

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(HOOTS)
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And I never...
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Ahoy, and other nautical expressions.

_________________________________

Land ho, by jove.
_________________________________

-Where away, Dodo?

-Dodo?
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Three points to starboard.

Away, me hearties.

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Have you in port in no time at all now.

_________________________________

Mr. Dodo. Please. Please help me.

_________________________________

Pardon me, but would you
mind helping me? Please?

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ALICE: Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!
_________________________________

Help me. Please.
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(GURGLES) Help me.
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(SINGING) Forward, backward,
inward, outward
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Come and join the chase
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Nothing could be drier
than a jolly caucus race
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Backward, forward, outward, inward

Bottom to the top
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Never a beginning

There can never be a stop
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Skipping, hopping, tripping

Fancy free and gay
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Started it tomorrow
but will finish yesterday
_________________________________

Round and round and round we go

until for ever more
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Once we were behind,
but now we find we are
_________________________________

Forward, backward, inward, outward

Come and join the chase
_________________________________

Nothing could be drier
than a jolly caucus race
_________________________________

-I say, you'll never get dry that way.

-Get dry?
_________________________________

Have to run with the others.

First rule of the caucus race.

_________________________________

But how can I...
_________________________________

That's better.

Have you dry in no time now.

_________________________________

No one can ever get dry this way.

_________________________________

Nonsense. I'm as dry as a bone already.

_________________________________
-Yes, but...
-DODO: All right, let's have it now.
_________________________________
DODO: Look lively.
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The White Rabbit. Mr. Rabbit.

_________________________________

-My goodness. I'm late.

-Don't go away. I'll be right back.

_________________________________
-I'm late.
-DODO: Don't step on the fish.
_________________________________
DODO: Watch it. Stop kicking that
mackerel. Brilliant. Jolly well done.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(SINGING)

Oh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life

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A-rovin' over the sea

Give me a career as a buccaneer

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It's the life of a pirate for me, oh

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The life of a pirate for me

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Oh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life

They never bury your bones

_________________________________

For when it's all over a jolly sea rover

drops in on his friend, Davy Jones

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Oh, my good friend, Davy Jones

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-Good morning, shipmates.

-And what's good about it, Mr. Smee?

_________________________________

Here we are, collecting barnacles

on this miserable island.

_________________________________

While his nibs plays

ring-around-the-rosy with Peter Pan.

_________________________________

Look out. It might go off.

_________________________________

We ought to be tending

to the business of looting ships.

_________________________________

Why, I've almost forgotten

how to slit a throat.

_________________________________

Better hop it.

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And tell the captain

we wants to put to sea, see?

_________________________________

(PIRATES LAUGHING)

_________________________________

MAN: Peter Pan...

_________________________________

Blast that Peter Pan!

_________________________________

If I could only find his hideout,

I'd trap him in his lair.

_________________________________

But where is it?

_________________________________

Mermaid Lagoon?

_________________________________

No, we've searched that.

_________________________________

We've combed Cannibal Cove.

_________________________________

Here!

_________________________________

No. No, no, no! That's Indian terri...

_________________________________

But wait.

_________________________________

Those redskins know this island

better than I do me own ship.

_________________________________

Ah...

_________________________________

I wonder.

_________________________________

-Good morning, captain.

-I've got it!

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Tiger Lily, Smee!

_________________________________

T... Tiger Lily, captain?

_________________________________

The chiefs daughter.

She'll know where Pan is hiding.

_________________________________

В... But... But will she talk, captain?

_________________________________

Oh, a little persuasion might be in order.

_________________________________

Now let me see.

_________________________________

Boiling in oil?

_________________________________

Keelhauling? Marooning?

_________________________________

(SINGING)

A pirate's life is a wonderful life

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You'll find adventure and sport

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But live every minute

for all that is in it

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The life of a pirate is short

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Oh, the life...

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(GUNSHOT)

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(SPLASH)

_________________________________

Now let me see, where was I?

_________________________________

Oh, dear, dear, dear Captain Hook.

_________________________________

Shooting a man

in the middle of his cadenza?

_________________________________

It ain't good form, you know.

_________________________________

"Good form", Mr. Smee?

_________________________________

Blast good form!

_________________________________

Did Pan show good form

when he did this to me?

_________________________________

Why, captain, cutting your hand off was

only a childish prank, you might say.

_________________________________

Aye! But throwing it to the crocodile!

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That cursed beast liked

the taste of me so well,

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he's followed me ever since,

licking his chops

_________________________________

for the rest of me.

_________________________________

And he'd have had you by now, captain,

_________________________________

if he hadn't swallowed that alarm clock.

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But now when he's about,

he warns ya, as ya might say,

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with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

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(TICKING CONTINUES)

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Smee? Smee!

_________________________________

Save me, Smee!

Please, don't let him get me, Smee!

_________________________________

Please, don't let him get me, Smee!

Smee!

_________________________________

Here now, shame on ya.

Upsettin' the poor captain.

_________________________________

There'll be no handouts today.

Shoo now, shoo!

_________________________________

Go on, go on, off it. Off with ya,

I say, go away, go away, out of here.

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-Is he gone, Smee?

-Aye, captain, all clear.

_________________________________

-Nothin' to worry about.

-Oh, Smee, Smee.

_________________________________

I can't stand it any longer.

I tell you, I can't.

_________________________________

Now, now, now, now, captain.

Just relax.

_________________________________

What you need is a shave.

_________________________________

A nice, soothing shave. There now.

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SMEE: (SINGING)

Oh, a pirate's life is a wonderful life

_________________________________

А-sailing over the sea

Give me a career as a...

_________________________________

Captain, you know, I can't help noticin'

_________________________________

you just ain't been

your usual jolly self of late.

_________________________________

Give me a career as a buccaneer

_________________________________

The crew's gettin'

a might uneasy, captain.

_________________________________

That is, what's left of it.

_________________________________

Now, why don't we put to sea, see?

Leave Never Land.

_________________________________

Forget Peter Pan. There now!

_________________________________

Give me a career as a buccaneer

_________________________________

We'd all be a lot happier,

not to mention a lot healthier.

_________________________________

Oh...

_________________________________

Captain? Oh, dear!

I never shaved him this close before.

_________________________________

Ooh... Ooh... Ooh!

_________________________________

Now, don't worry, captain.

It must be somewhere about.

_________________________________

Get up, you idiot!

_________________________________

Aye, aye, sir.

_________________________________

Ooh! I found it, captain. Good as new.

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

Why, you blithering blockhead!

_________________________________

-MAN: Peter Pan ahoy!

-What? What? Where away?

_________________________________

Three points off the starboard bow!

_________________________________

Swoggle me eyes! It is Pan!

_________________________________

Headed this way

with some more of those scurvy brats!

_________________________________

Mr. Smee, pipe up the crew!

_________________________________

Aye, aye, sir. Pipe up the crew.

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All hands on deck! (WHISTLES)

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All hands on deck! (WHISTLES)

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All hands on deck!

_________________________________

All hands on deck!

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(WHISTLING)

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Look alive, you swabs!

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-We've got him this time, Mr. Smee.

-That we have, captain.

_________________________________

Man the Long Tom, you bilge rats!

_________________________________

-I've waited years for this.

-Not countin' holidays either.

_________________________________

-Double the powder, shorten the fuse!

-Shorten the powder, double the fuse!

_________________________________

A pretty sight, Mr. Smee.

We'll pot 'em like sitting ducks.

_________________________________

-All right, men! Range 42.

-Range 42.

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HOOK: Elevation 65.

SMEE: Elevation 65.

_________________________________

-Three degrees west.

-Three degrees west.

_________________________________

Steady now!

_________________________________

Steady!

_________________________________

Oh, Peter, it's just as

I've always dreamed it would be.

_________________________________

Oh, look, John, there's Mermaid Lagoon.

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JOHN: By Jove!

And the Indian encampment!

_________________________________

Oh, look, there's Captain Hook

and the pirates.

_________________________________

Look out!

_________________________________

Tink, take Wendy and the boys

to the island.

_________________________________

I'll stay here and draw Hook's fire.

_________________________________

(WHISTLES)

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Hook! Hook! You codfish! Here!

_________________________________

Tinker Bell? Not so fast.

Please, Tinker Bell.

_________________________________

We can't keep up with you.

_________________________________

WENDY: Tinker Bell! Wait!

_________________________________

(JINGLING)

_________________________________

Ouch!

_________________________________

So!

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

-Who ya shovin'?

-Who ya shovin'?

_________________________________

-You! That's who!

-I'll show you!

_________________________________

-(CLAMOURING)

-(JINGLING)

_________________________________

Huh? Orders from Pan?

_________________________________

-Hold it, men!

-What's the orders, Tink?

_________________________________

-A terrible what?

-Wendy Bird.

_________________________________

Wendy Bird?

_________________________________

Flying this way?

_________________________________

Pan's orders are... What?

_________________________________

-Smash it?

-Kick it?

_________________________________

-Stomp it?

-Stomp it?

_________________________________

-Oh! Shoot it down!

-Shoot it down!

_________________________________

-Yeah, shoot it down!

-Come on, follow Tink!

_________________________________

-Yeah, come on. Let's go then!

-We're gonna get 'er!

_________________________________

-I see it!

-Me too!

_________________________________

ALL: Ready, aim...

_________________________________

ALL: Fire!

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

Oh, Peter, you saved my life.

_________________________________

-Are you hurted, Wendy?

-No, Michael.

_________________________________

Good heavens, Wendy,

you might have been killed.

_________________________________

-Hey! Hey! Pan!

-We followed your orders, Pan!

_________________________________

(BOYS CHATTERING)

_________________________________

-Pan, I got it with my skull buster!

-Ya did not! We did!

_________________________________

-I did it, Pan! I did it!

-No, I did!

_________________________________

Attention!

_________________________________

Well, I'm certainly proud of you.

_________________________________

You blockheads!

_________________________________

-I bring ya a mother to tell stories...

-A mother?

_________________________________

-And you shoot her down.

-Well, Tink said it was a bird!

_________________________________

PETER: Tink said what?

_________________________________

RABBIT: Well, she said you said

to shoot it down!

_________________________________

PETER: Tinker Bell. Tink!

_________________________________

Come here.

_________________________________

PETER: You're charged

with high treason, Tink.

_________________________________

Are you guilty or not guilty?

_________________________________

(JINGLES)

_________________________________

Guilty? But don't ya know

ya might have killed her?

_________________________________

Tinker Bell!

_________________________________

I hereby banish you forever.

_________________________________

Please, not forever.

_________________________________

Well, for a week then.

_________________________________

Come on, Wendy,

I'll show you the island.

_________________________________

Oh, Peter, the mermaids?

_________________________________

-Aw, let's go huntin'!

-Tigers?

_________________________________

-Naw, bears.

-Naw, bears.

_________________________________

Personally,

I prefer to see the aborigines.

_________________________________

And the Indians too.

_________________________________

All right, men!

Go out and capture a few Indians.

_________________________________

-PETER: John, you be the leader.

-I shall try to be worthy of my post.

_________________________________

Forward! March!

_________________________________

Come on, bear.

_________________________________

WENDY: Oh, Michael, do be careful.

_________________________________

Come on, Wendy.

I'll show you the mermaids.

_________________________________

(SINGING) Following the leader

The leader, the leader

_________________________________

We're following the leader

wherever he may go

_________________________________

Tee dum, tee dee

A teedle ее do tee day

_________________________________

Tee dum, tee dee

It's part of the game we play

_________________________________

Tee dum, tee dee

The words are easy to say

_________________________________

Just a teedle ее dum

a teedle ее do tee day

_________________________________

Tee dum, tee dee

A teedle ее do tee dum

_________________________________

We're one for all

and all of us out for fun

_________________________________

We march in line

and follow the other one

_________________________________

With a teedle ее do

A teedle ее di tee dum

_________________________________

(WHISTLING TUNE)

_________________________________

Following the leader

The leader, the leader

_________________________________

We're following the leader

wherever he may go

_________________________________

We're out to fight the Injuns

The Injuns, the Injuns

_________________________________

We're out to fight the Injuns

because he told us so

_________________________________

Tee dum, tee dee

A teedle ее do tee day

_________________________________

We march along

and these are the words we say

_________________________________

Tee dum, tee dee

A teedle ее do tee day

_________________________________

Oh, a teedle dee dum

A teedle ее do tee day

_________________________________

Oh, a teedle ее dum

A teedle ее do tee day

_________________________________

Indians!

_________________________________

Oh, Blackfoot tribe.

_________________________________

Belongs to the Algonquin group.

_________________________________

-Quite savage, you know.

-Let's go get 'em.

_________________________________

-Come on! We'll get 'em!

-Gentlemen, gentlemen.

_________________________________

-First, we must plan our strategy.

-Uh, what's stragety?

_________________________________

A plan of attack.

_________________________________

The initial phase

is an encircling manoeuvre, thus!

_________________________________

-(CHATTERING)

-John! Indians! Indians!

_________________________________

(BOYS CHATTERING)

_________________________________

Let me in!

_________________________________

JOHN: Remember,

the Indian is cunning...

_________________________________

-Hey...

-... but not intelligent.

_________________________________

Therefore, we simply surround them

and take them by surprise.

_________________________________

-(WHOOPING)

-(HOLLERING)

_________________________________

(PLAYING DRUMS)

_________________________________

I'm frightfully sorry, old chaps.

It's all my fault.

_________________________________

-Aw, that's all right, Wildcat.

-Oh, we don't mind.

_________________________________

That's okay.

_________________________________

(DRUMMING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

How.

_________________________________

-How, chief!

-How.

_________________________________

For many moons red man

fight paleface Lost Boys.

_________________________________

-Ugh. Ugh.

-Sometime you win.

_________________________________

Sometime we win.

_________________________________

Okay, chief. You win this time.

Now turn us loose.

_________________________________

"Turn us loose"?

You mean this is only a game?

_________________________________

Sure! When we win,

we turn them loose.

_________________________________

 When they win, they turn us loose.

_________________________________

This time, no turn 'em loose.

_________________________________

-BOYS: Huh?

-(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

-The chiefs a great spoofer.

-Me no spoof 'em.

_________________________________

Where you hide Princess Tiger Lily?

_________________________________

Uh, Tiger Lily?

_________________________________

-We ain't got your old princess.

-I've never seen her.

_________________________________

-Me neither.

-Honest, we don't.

_________________________________

Heap big lie.

_________________________________

If Tiger Lily not back by sunset,

_________________________________

burn 'em at stake.

_________________________________

_________________________________
(ANIMALS SQUAWKING)
_________________________________

Oh. (GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Buenos días.

I hope you sleep very, very good.
_________________________________

Huh? (GASPS) Who are you?
_________________________________

?Nosotros? We are the very happy
family Singers de España.

_________________________________

These are my sons Mozo, Gringo...
_________________________________
and Grundel.

_________________________________
-We are very rich and famous.
-Rich and famous? Oh.
_________________________________

Sí, sí. Mucho. I bring you here to
become famous singer like me.

_________________________________
Oh, uh, goodbye.
_________________________________
Uh, my mother will be very worried.

_________________________________

-(THUMBELINA GASPS)
-Mama no worry.
_________________________________
Mama proud. When you are a star,

she make big fiesta...
_________________________________

and invite all the neighbors
to come and see her little niña,

_________________________________
who have become big, big, big...
Very big.
_________________________________

Big?
_________________________________

-Oh! You mean big?

-And important.
_________________________________

And loved by everyone.
_________________________________

But, uh, Cornelius loves me already.
_________________________________

I think I'm gonna marry him.
_________________________________

Marry him?

_________________________________
!Ay, Chihuahua!
That will be a very big mistake.
_________________________________

It will get in the way of your career
in show business,
_________________________________
while doing all the time
those things domésticos.

_________________________________

What things?
_________________________________

MRS. TOAD: (SINGING)

The scrubbings and the washings

_________________________________
And the noses with the drippings

_________________________________
And the sopas always boiling

_________________________________
BROTHERS: Sí, sí.
_________________________________

The panes of windows falling
_________________________________

With the diapers changing

With the roof... She's leaking
_________________________________

And the enchiladas spoiling

_________________________________
-Ooh.
-Do you know how to do these things
_________________________________

Like you will have to do these things?

_________________________________
Or does the very thought of it

make you wince?

_________________________________
-(TOADS GROANS)
-I thought so.

_________________________________

Then don't marry
_________________________________
The prince

_________________________________
-(CONGA RHYTHM)
-Oh, dear.
_________________________________

You see, hey?

You become big star, like me.

_________________________________
We make big moneys together.
_________________________________

You make Mama rich.

You're important person.
_________________________________

You are famous.
_________________________________
You are a star.
_________________________________

A star?
_________________________________
Well, I suppose.
_________________________________

Now repeat after me.
_________________________________

We are the Singers de España,

the original cast
_________________________________

And there hasn't been a town

we haven't played

_________________________________
We're the Singers de España

and we sing very fast
_________________________________

-We get on

-We get off
_________________________________

-We get paid
-MRS. TOAD: Sing!

_________________________________
Uh, could you say that a little slower?
_________________________________

Slower? We don't do ballads.
_________________________________

Oh, maybe I can take notes.
_________________________________

We are free and independent

We go everywhere

_________________________________
And we coochie-coochie-coochie
all the way

_________________________________
We gonna teach you how to samba

and to rumba y la bamba

_________________________________
Every number, Thumbelina
Say olé!

_________________________________
Come on the road, my little castanet

_________________________________
Come on the road,
and famous you will get

_________________________________
I'll make you star, get you small guitar

_________________________________
You'll be hot muchacha

once I gotcha on the road

_________________________________
Thumbelinacita

No one could be "sweeta"

_________________________________
Sing with mamacita

We go on the road

_________________________________
Uh!
!Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!
_________________________________

(ALL WHOOPING)
_________________________________
(SINGING IN SPANISH) !La conga!
_________________________________

Now we sing We open Monday
in Medina then we do Babylon

_________________________________
-Then we hop to Barcelona for a week

-We do
_________________________________
Then for a month in Athens

at the Parthenon

_________________________________
Where they love us 'cause
we do the show in Greek

_________________________________
We're the finest in the business

It's a well-known fact

_________________________________
And you'll forgive us

if we have to blow the horn

_________________________________
MRS. TOAD: Because this isn't
any ordinary animal act
_________________________________

And today, a star is born

_________________________________
Go on the road you'll hear
the people's roar

_________________________________
You're not a toad
_________________________________

But that's what makeup's for

_________________________________
Just sing on pitch

We'll get very rich

_________________________________
Wait until they see the Thumbelina
on the road
_________________________________

Sing it, Thumbelina

Dance it, Thumbelina

_________________________________
Something, Thumbelina
_________________________________
Now I make her sing (SHOUTS)

_________________________________
-Ow!
-Bueno. Muy bueno. You got it.

_________________________________
-Come on the road

-(THUMBELINA VOCALIZING)
_________________________________
We make you big success

_________________________________
Come on the road

_________________________________
You're in the union, yes?
_________________________________

-The life, she's sweet
-!Sí!
_________________________________
-Lots of flies to eat

-Yum-yum!
_________________________________
So why be a little fish in little pond
_________________________________
When you can go so far beyond?

_________________________________
I think perhaps we make you blonde

_________________________________
When we get on the road

_________________________________
MRS. TOAD: !Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!
(TRILLS)
_________________________________
On the road

_________________________________
ALL: Let's hit the road
_________________________________
-ALL: Olé!
-(CHEERING)

_________________________________
GRUNDEL:
Mama, you'll give her to me.

_________________________________
I marry her.
_________________________________

MRS. TOAD: Very well.
You can marry la niña.
_________________________________

We can keep the money
she earns in the family.

_________________________________

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Toad. Thank you.
_________________________________

They really like me.
_________________________________

-Am I a star?

-Yes.
_________________________________
-And you can call me Mama.

-Mama?
_________________________________

You are going to marry
my son, Grundel.
_________________________________

-I what?

-I love Thumbelina.
_________________________________
You wait right here,
Thumbelina, chiquitita.
_________________________________

-We'll be right back with the padre.

-Oh, no, no, no.
_________________________________

See, I love Cornelius.
_________________________________

Today you marry my son.
_________________________________

-(CHEERING)
-THUMBELINA: Oh, no. No, no.
_________________________________

THUMBELINA: No, I'm not
marrying... No, come back here.
_________________________________

No. Now wait. No. Now wait a second!
Where are you going?
_________________________________

Doesn't anybody care what I think? Oh!
_________________________________
(HUMMING)
_________________________________

-THUMBELINA: Help!

-Whoa! Whoa!
_________________________________
Help? Who is saying help?
_________________________________

-THUMBELINA: Mr. Bird, over here!

-Oh!
_________________________________
Oh, little one,
are you having a bad day?

_________________________________
Oh, I was...
I was sleeping on the windowsill,
_________________________________

waiting for Prince Cornelius
to come back,
_________________________________

and he said he would come before
morning, because he loves me, and...

_________________________________
-JACQUIMO: (GASPS) He loves you?

-Yes.
_________________________________

Congratulations!
_________________________________

Thanks.
_________________________________
But, well... (SNIFFLES)
_________________________________

But I was stolen away by Mrs. Toad,
_________________________________

who says I have to marry her son,
and I just...

_________________________________
A toad? Ptooey! Toad.
_________________________________
That is a very bad day, Mademoiselle.

Uh, Mademoiselle...
_________________________________

-Uh, Thumbelina.

-Ah. Thumbelina. I am Jacquimo.

_________________________________
How can I be of service to you?
_________________________________

Well, I must get off this lily pad,
_________________________________

but... that's impossible.

_________________________________
JACQUIMO: (LAUGHS)
Nothing is impossible.
_________________________________
-Voilá!

-Oh, my.
_________________________________
-(CHUCKLES) Well, that was easy.
-(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Now, if I could just reach the shore

before those awful toads come back.
_________________________________

Ah, the shore. You mean if you can
reach the shore...
_________________________________

-before you go over the waterfall?
-(RUMBLING)
_________________________________

-What waterfall?

-That one!
_________________________________

-Is it bad?

-JACQUIMO: Ah!
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________

-I am slipping!
-Oh!
_________________________________

-Hey! Don't let go!

-Can you swim?
_________________________________

No, I can't swim! I can't even float!
_________________________________

BOTH: Help! Help!
_________________________________
-(JACQUIMO SHOUTING)
-THUMBELINA: Help! Please!
_________________________________

Somebody help!
_________________________________

Help! Somebody help!
_________________________________

JACQUIMO: Help!
_________________________________
THUMBELINA: Help!
_________________________________

JACQUIMO: Jitterbugs, help!
_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________
THUMBELINA: (SCREAMING)
Look out!
_________________________________
JACQUIMO: Whoa-ho!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Pull, mes amis. Pull!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS) That is it! That is it!
Higher! Higher!
_________________________________
(GASPING, COUGHING)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________
(GROANS)
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Ah, bon.
_________________________________
C'est bon. (EXHALES)
_________________________________

ALL: (WHISPERING)

What? What is it?
_________________________________

-What is it?
-Yeah, who is it?
_________________________________

Look, Mama. She's waking up.

_________________________________
JACQUIMO: Aw, are you feeling
better, little one, hmm?
_________________________________

Yes, I think so.
_________________________________

But who... Who are you?
_________________________________

Thumbelina, these are the Jitterbugs.
_________________________________

The Jitterbugs? Oh, how do you do?
_________________________________

Are you really gonna
marry the fairy prince?

_________________________________

(GIGGLES) If he asks me.
_________________________________
He will call for me at my house.

_________________________________
Oh, that's why I want to go home.
_________________________________

Besides, Mother will be terribly worried.
_________________________________
-(CHATTERING)
-(THUMBELINA SIGHS)
_________________________________

If only I could find my way home.
_________________________________

Oh, we'll help you, Thumbelina.
_________________________________

-Yeah, nobody'll hurt you, Thumbelina.

-Yeah.
_________________________________
-Not with us on the job, right?
-Right!
_________________________________

Oh, you are all very brave. Thank you,

_________________________________
but I'm afraid I'll never
see my home again.
_________________________________

Oh, do you love the prince?
_________________________________

Yes.
_________________________________

Well, then follow your heart.
_________________________________
It will lead you home.
_________________________________

Now, where does the prince live?
_________________________________
Oh. Oh, he... He lives in the, um...
_________________________________

the Vale of the Fairies.
_________________________________

Oh, but I don't know
where that is either.

_________________________________
Do not worry. I, Jacquimo, will find it
and bring him home to you.

_________________________________

-(JACQUIMO CHUCKLES)
-Oh.
_________________________________

It's impossible.
_________________________________

Impossible? Nothing is impossible.
_________________________________

(SINGING) You're sure to do
impossible things
_________________________________

If you follow your heart

Ha-ha
_________________________________

Your dreams will fly on magical wings

_________________________________
When you follow your heart

_________________________________
If you have to journey far,

here's a little trick

_________________________________
You don't need a guiding star
_________________________________

Trust your ticker, get there quicker

Ha-ha
_________________________________

You're sure to do impossible things

_________________________________
If you follow your heart

_________________________________
Come on, Thumbelina!
_________________________________
You are going home!

_________________________________
-Your mother is waiting! Get up! Get up!
-(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________
(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

You're sure to do impossible things

_________________________________
If you follow your heart

_________________________________
Your dreams will fly on magical wings

_________________________________
JACQUIMO: Sing, my little chickadees!
_________________________________

When you follow your heart

_________________________________
North or south or east or west

_________________________________
Where to point your shoes?

_________________________________
Which direction is the best?

_________________________________
If the choosing gets confusing
_________________________________

Maybe it's the map you're using

_________________________________
You don't need a chart to guide you
_________________________________

Close your eyes and look inside you

Ha-ha
_________________________________

You're sure to do impossible things
_________________________________

If you know where to start

Ha-ha
_________________________________

Your dreams will fly on magical wings
_________________________________

When you follow
_________________________________

Just trust the swallow

_________________________________
And always follow
_________________________________

Your heart

_________________________________
(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________
Bon voyage, Thumbelina! Never fear!

_________________________________
-I will find the prince!
-(THUMBELINA CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Goodbye!
_________________________________

Oh, he's wonderful.
_________________________________
And... I'm going home.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Mr. Rabbit. Oh, Mr. Rabbit.
_________________________________

Oh, dear. I'm sure he came this way.
_________________________________

Do you suppose he could be hiding?
_________________________________

Hmm. Not here.

_________________________________

I wonder...

_________________________________

No. I suppose he must have... (GASPS)
_________________________________
Why. What peculiar little figures.

_________________________________

-Tweddle Dee and Tweddle Dum.

-(HONKS)
_________________________________

If you think we're waxworks,

you ought to pay, you know.

_________________________________

If you think we're alive,
you ought to speak to us.

_________________________________

(BOTH HONK)

_________________________________

-That's logic.

-Well...
_________________________________
It's been nice meeting you. Goodbye.

_________________________________

-(HONKS)

-(BEEPS)

_________________________________

-You're beginning backwards.

-First thing in a visit is to say...

_________________________________
(SINGING) How do you do
And shake hands
_________________________________
Shake hands, shake hands

_________________________________

How do you do and shake hands,

state your name and business
_________________________________

-BOTH: That's manners.

-Really?
_________________________________

Well my name is Alice and I'm
following a White Rabbit, so...
_________________________________

-You can't go yet.

-No, the visit has just started.

_________________________________

-I'm very sorry.

-Would you like to play hide-and-seek?

_________________________________

-Or Button? Who's got the button?

-No, thank you.

_________________________________

If you stay long enough,
we might have a battle.

_________________________________

(HONKING AND BEEPING)
_________________________________

That's very kind of you,
but I must be going.

_________________________________

-Why?

-Because I'm following a White Rabbit.
_________________________________

-Why?

-I'm curious to know where he's going.

_________________________________

Oh, she's curious.

_________________________________

The oysters were curious, too,
weren't they?
_________________________________

Aye, and you remember
what happened to them.
_________________________________

Poor things.

_________________________________

Why? What did happen to the oysters?
_________________________________

-Oh, you wouldn't be interested.

-But I am.

_________________________________

Oh, no. You're in
much too much of a hurry.

_________________________________

Well, perhaps I could spare a little time.

_________________________________

You could? Well...

_________________________________

"The Walrus and the Carpenter."

_________________________________

Or "The Story of the Curious Oysters."
_________________________________

(HONKS)
_________________________________

(BEEPING)
_________________________________

(HONKING)
_________________________________

(SINGING)
The sun was shining on the sea
_________________________________

Shining with all its might
_________________________________

He did his very best to make

the billows smooth and bright
_________________________________

And this was odd because it was
_________________________________

The middle of the night
_________________________________

The walrus and the carpenter

were walking close at hand
_________________________________

The beach was wide from side to side,

but much too full of sand
_________________________________
TWEEDLEDEE:
Mr. Walrus, said the carpenter
_________________________________

My brain begins to perk
_________________________________

We'll sweep this clear in half a year

if you don't mind the work
_________________________________

Work? (GRUMBLES)

_________________________________
-The time has come
-TWEEDLEDEE: The walrus said
_________________________________

To talk of other things

_________________________________

Of shoes and ships and sealing wax

and cabbages and kings
_________________________________

And why the sea is boiling hot

and whether pigs have wings
_________________________________

Caloo, callay, no work today
_________________________________

We're cabbages and kings
_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

Oysters, come and walk with us

_________________________________

The day is warm and bright
_________________________________

A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk

would be a sheer delight
_________________________________

And should we get hungry on the way,

we'll stop and have a bite
_________________________________

(GRUMBLES)
_________________________________
TWEEDLEDEE: But Mother Oyster
winked her eye
_________________________________
And shook her heavy head

_________________________________

She knew too well this was no time
to leave her oyster bed

_________________________________
The sea is nice, take my advice

_________________________________
-And stay right here
-TWEEDLEDEE: Mum said
_________________________________

Yes, yes, of course, of course.
_________________________________
But, ha-ha, the time has come,
my little friends,

_________________________________

to talk of other things
_________________________________

Of shoes and ships and sealing wax,
cabbages and kings

_________________________________

And why the sea is boiling hot

and whether pigs have wings
_________________________________
ho ho
_________________________________

Caloo, callay, come run away
_________________________________

With cabbages and kings
_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, now, let me see.

_________________________________

Ah. A loaf of bread
is what we chiefly need.

_________________________________

And how about some pepper
and salt and vinegar, eh?
_________________________________

Yes, yes. Splendid idea.
Very good indeed.

_________________________________

Now, if you're ready, oysters, dear,

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) we can begin the feed.

_________________________________

-OYSTERS: Feed?

-Oh, yes.

_________________________________

The time has come, my little friends,

to talk of food and things
_________________________________

Of peppercorns and mustard seed

and other seasonings
_________________________________

We'll mix them all together

in a sauce that's fit for kings
_________________________________

Caloo, callay, we'll eat today
_________________________________

Like cabbages and kings

_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

I, er, I weep for you, I... (HICCUPS)
_________________________________
Excuse me, I deeply sympathize

_________________________________

For I've enjoyed your company

much more than you realize

_________________________________

Little oysters, little oysters
_________________________________
TWEEDLEDEE:
But answer there came none
_________________________________
TWEEDLEDUM: And this was
scarcely odd because
_________________________________

They'd been eaten, every one
_________________________________

Hmm. Well, er...
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Mmm, uh...
_________________________________

The time had come
_________________________________

With cabbages and kings

_________________________________

The end.
_________________________________

-That was a very sad story.

-Aye.
_________________________________
-And there's a moral to it.

-Oh yes, a very good moral.
_________________________________

If you happen to be an oyster.

_________________________________

-Well, it's been a very nice visit.

-Another recitation.
_________________________________
Entitled "Father William".
_________________________________
First verse:

_________________________________

(SINGING) You are old Father
William, the young man said

_________________________________

And your hair has become very white
_________________________________

And yet you incessantly
stand on your head
_________________________________

Do you think at your age it is right?

Do you think at your age it is right?
_________________________________

In my youth,
Father William replied to his son

_________________________________

I'd do it again and again and again...

_________________________________

_________________________________

Oh.

_________________________________

Aladdin. Wake up.

_________________________________

Aladdin.

_________________________________

Oh! My head.

_________________________________

We're trapped.

_________________________________

That two-faced son of a jackal!

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

Whoever he was,

he's long gone with that lamp.

_________________________________

Aha!

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

Why, you hairy little thief.

_________________________________

Looks like such a beat-up,

worthless piece of junk.

_________________________________

Hey, I think there's

something written here,

_________________________________

but it's hard to make out.

_________________________________

Aaaaahhhhh!

_________________________________

Oy!

_________________________________

10,000 years will give you

such a crick in the neck.

_________________________________

Hang on a second.

_________________________________

Whoa! Whoa!

_________________________________

Does it feel good to be outta there.

_________________________________

I'm telling you,

nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen.

_________________________________

Hi. Where you from?

What's your name?

_________________________________

Uh... Uh, Aladdin.

_________________________________

Aladdin. Hello, Aladdin.

Nice to have you on the show.

_________________________________

Can we call you AI?

Or maybe just Din?

_________________________________

How about Laddie? Sounds like,

"Here, boy. C'mon, laddie."

_________________________________

I must have hit my head

harder than I thought.

_________________________________

Do you smoke? Mind if I do?

(GIGGLING)

_________________________________

Oh, sorry, Cheeta.

Hope I didn't singe the fur.

_________________________________

Yo, Rugman. Haven't seen you

in a few millennia.

_________________________________

Give me some tassel. Yeah. Yo, yo.

_________________________________

Say, you're a lot smaller

than my last master.

_________________________________

Either that or I'm gettin' bigger.

_________________________________

Look at me from the side.

Do I look different to you?

_________________________________

Wait a minute. I'm your master?

_________________________________

That's right. He can be taught.

What would you wish of me?

_________________________________

The ever impressive,

_________________________________

the long contained,

_________________________________

the often imitated,

_________________________________

but never duplicated...

_________________________________

(ECHOING) Duplicated, duplicated...

_________________________________

Genie of the Lamp!

_________________________________

Right here direct from the lamp,

_________________________________

right here

for your very much wish fulfilment.

_________________________________

Thank you.

_________________________________

-Whoa. Wish fulfilment?

-Three wishes, to be exact.

_________________________________

And ixnay on the wishing

for more wishes.

_________________________________

That's it. Three. Uno, dos, tres.

_________________________________

No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.

_________________________________

Now I know I'm dreaming.

_________________________________

Master, I don't think you quite realise

what you've got here.

_________________________________

So why don't you just ruminate

whilst I illuminate the possibilities.

_________________________________

(SINGING)

Well, Ali Baba had them 40 thieves

_________________________________

Scheherazade had a thousand tales

_________________________________

But, master, you're in luck

'Cause up your sleeves

_________________________________

You got a brand of magic never fails

_________________________________

You got some power

In your corner now

_________________________________

Some heavy ammunition in your camp

_________________________________

You got some punch, pizzazz

Yahoo and how

_________________________________

See, all you gotta do

Is rub that lamp and I'll say

_________________________________

"Mr. Aladdin, sir

What will your pleasure be?"

_________________________________

Let me take your order

Jot it down

_________________________________

You ain't never had a friend like me

_________________________________

Life is your restaurant

And I'm your maitre d'

_________________________________

Come on, whisper what it is you want

_________________________________

You ain't never had a friend like me

_________________________________

Yes, sir

We pride ourselves on service

_________________________________

You're the boss, the king, the shah

_________________________________

Say what you wish

It's yours, true dish

_________________________________

How 'bout a little more baklava?

_________________________________

Have some of column A

Try all of column B

_________________________________

I'm in the mood to help you, dude

_________________________________

You ain't never had a friend like me

_________________________________

Oh, my

_________________________________

No, no

_________________________________

My, my

_________________________________

(SCATTING)

_________________________________

Can your friends do this?

_________________________________

Can your friends do that?

_________________________________

Can your friends pull this

_________________________________

Out their little hat?

_________________________________

Can your friends go poof

_________________________________

Hey, looky here

Ha-ha!

_________________________________

Can your friends go

"Abracadabra, let her rip"

_________________________________

And then make the sucker disappear?

_________________________________

So don't you sit there

Slack-jawed, buggy-eyed

_________________________________

I'm here to answer

All your midnight prayers

_________________________________

You got me bona fide certified

_________________________________

You got a genie

For your charge d'affaires

_________________________________

I got a powerful urge to help you out

_________________________________

So what's your wish?

I really wanna know

_________________________________

You got a list

That's three miles long, no doubt

_________________________________

All you gotta do is rub like so

_________________________________

Mr. Aladdin, sir

Have a wish or two or three

_________________________________

I'm on the job, you big nabob

_________________________________

You ain't never had a friend

Never had a friend

_________________________________

You ain't never had a friend

_________________________________

Like me

_________________________________

Ah-ha-ha!

_________________________________

-Wah-ha-ha!

-(GREEDY LAUGH)

_________________________________

You ain't never had a friend like me

_________________________________

-(BUZZING)

-(WEAK APPLAUSE)

_________________________________

(CHATTERING) Huh?

_________________________________

-(GROANS)

-So, what'll it be, master?

_________________________________

You're gonna grant me

any three wishes I want, right?

_________________________________

Ah, almost.

_________________________________

There are a few provisos,

a couple of quid pro quos.

_________________________________

Like?

_________________________________

Ah, rule number one, I can't kill anybody.

_________________________________

So don't ask.

_________________________________

Rule number two.

_________________________________

I can't make anybody

fall in love with anybody else.

_________________________________

You little ponem there.

_________________________________

Rule number three. I can't bring

people back from the dead.

_________________________________

It's not a pretty picture.

I don't like doing it.

_________________________________
Other than that, you got it.

_________________________________

-Hmm.

-Oh!

_________________________________

Provisos? You mean limitations?

_________________________________

On wishes? Some all-powerful genie.

_________________________________

Can't even bring people

back from the dead.

_________________________________

I don't know, Abu. He probably

can't even get us out of this cave.

_________________________________

Looks like we're gonna have to

find a way out of here.

_________________________________

Excuse me?

_________________________________

Are you lookin' at me?

Did you rub my lamp?

_________________________________

Did you wake me up?

Did you bring me here?

_________________________________

And all of sudden

you're walking out on me?

_________________________________

I don't think so, not right now.

_________________________________

You're gettin' your wishes, so sit down!

_________________________________

-(ABU SCREECHES)

-In case of emergency,

_________________________________

the exits are here, here,

here, here, anywhere.

_________________________________

Keep your hands and arms

inside the carpet.

_________________________________

We're...

_________________________________

Outta here!

_________________________________

_________________________________

-(BIRDS SCREECHING)

-(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

(GOAT BLEATING)

_________________________________

(BLEATING)

_________________________________

-(BLEATING)

-Whoa!

_________________________________

You sure this is the right place?

_________________________________

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHTER ECHOES)

_________________________________

(BLEATING)

_________________________________

What's the matter, little guy?

You stuck?

_________________________________

Hey, butt out, buddy!

_________________________________

-Ugh!

-(ALL GASPING)

_________________________________

Girls! Stop! Stop!

Come back, come back, come back.

_________________________________

Whoa, whoa! Oh. Geez!

_________________________________

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, Nymphs!

_________________________________

-They can't keep their hands off me.

-Hey!

_________________________________

(GRUMBLING)

_________________________________

What's the matter?

You never seen a satyr before?

_________________________________

Uh, no. Can you help us?

_________________________________

We're looking for someone

called Philoctetes.

_________________________________

Call me Phil.

_________________________________

-Phil!

-Ow!

_________________________________

Boy, am I glad to meet you!

I'm Hercules.

_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-This is Pegasus.

_________________________________

Animals! Disgusting!

_________________________________

-(SNORTS)

-I need your help.

_________________________________

I want to become a hero, a true hero.

_________________________________

-Sorry, kid. Can't help ya.

-Wait!

_________________________________

Uh, sorry.

_________________________________

-Why not?

-Two words, I am retired.

_________________________________

Look, I gotta do this.

_________________________________

Haven't you ever had a dream,

_________________________________

something you wanted so bad

you'd do anything?

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

Kid, come inside.

I want to show you something.

_________________________________

(NEIGHING, GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Watch it!

That was part of the mast of the Argo.

_________________________________

-The Argo?

-Yeah.

_________________________________

Who do you think

taught Jason how to sail?

_________________________________

Cleopatra?

_________________________________

I trained all those would-be heroes.

_________________________________

Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus.

A lot of "yeuseus."

_________________________________

And every single one of those bums

let me down flatter than a discus.

_________________________________

None of 'em could go the distance.

_________________________________

And then there was Achilles.

_________________________________

Now, there was a guy who had it all,

the build, the foot speed.

_________________________________

He could jab, he could take a hit,

he could keep on comin'.

_________________________________

But that furshlugginer heel of his!

_________________________________

He barely gets nicked there once

and kaboom!

_________________________________

He's history.

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

Yeah, I had a dream once.

_________________________________

I dreamed I was gonna train

the greatest hero there ever was.

_________________________________

So great, the gods would hang a picture

of him in the stars all across the sky,

_________________________________

and people would say,

"That's Phil's boy."

_________________________________

That's right.

_________________________________

Eh, but dreams are for rookies.

_________________________________

A guy can only take

so much disappointment.

_________________________________

But I'm different than

those other guys, Phil!

_________________________________

I can go the distance.

Come on. I'll show you.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

-(WHINNYING)

-Geez! You don't give up, do ya?

_________________________________

Watch this.

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Holy Hera.

_________________________________

(MUTTERING) You know, maybe if I...

No! Snap out of it!

_________________________________

I'm too old

to get mixed up in this stuff again.

_________________________________

But if I don't become a true hero, I'll

never be able to rejoin my father, Zeus.

_________________________________

Hold it!

_________________________________

Zeus is your father, right?

_________________________________

-Uh-huh.

-(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Zeus. The big guy. He's your daddy.

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Mr. Lightning Bolts!

_________________________________

Read me a book, would ya, Da-da?

_________________________________

Zeus!

(MIMICS ZEUS) "Once upon a time..."

_________________________________

It's the truth!

_________________________________

Please!

_________________________________
(SINGING) So you wanna be a hero, kid

_________________________________

Well, whoop-de-do

_________________________________

I have been around the block before

_________________________________

With blockheads just like you

_________________________________

Each and every one a disappointment

_________________________________

Pain for which there ain't no ointment

_________________________________

So much for excuses

Though a kid of "Zeus" is

_________________________________
Askin' me to jump into the fray

_________________________________

My answer is two words

_________________________________

Okay.

_________________________________

-You mean you'll do it?

-You win.

_________________________________

-You won't be sorry, Phil.

-Oh, gods.

_________________________________

So when do we start?

Can we start now?

_________________________________

Oy vey.

_________________________________

I'd given up hope

that someone would come along

_________________________________

A fella who'd ring the bell for once

Not the gong

_________________________________

The kind who wins trophies

_________________________________

Won't settle for low fees

_________________________________

At least semipro fees

_________________________________

But, no, I get the greenhorn

_________________________________

I've been out to pasture, pal

My ambition gone

_________________________________

Content to spend lazy days

and to graze my lawn

_________________________________

But you need an advisor

_________________________________

A satyr, but wiser

_________________________________

A good merchandiser and... Whoa

_________________________________

There goes my ulcer

_________________________________

I'm down to one last hope

and I hope it's you

_________________________________

Though, kid, you're not exactly

a dream come true

_________________________________

I trained enough turkeys

Who never came through

_________________________________

You're my one last hope

So you'll have to do

_________________________________

Rule number six.

_________________________________

When rescuing a damsel...

(SHRILL WHISTLE)

_________________________________

...always handle with care.

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

No!

_________________________________

Rule number 95, kid. Concentrate!

_________________________________

Rule number 96.

_________________________________

Aim!

_________________________________

Demigods have faced the odds

And ended up a mockery

_________________________________

Don't believe the stories

That you read on all the crockery

_________________________________
To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art

_________________________________

Like paintin' a masterpiece

_________________________________

It's a work of heart

_________________________________

It takes more than sinew

_________________________________

Comes down to what's in you

_________________________________

You have to continue to grow

_________________________________

Now, that's more like it!

_________________________________

I'm down to one last shot

And my last high note

_________________________________

Before that blasted underworld

gets my goat

_________________________________

My dreams are on you, kid

_________________________________

Go make 'em come true

_________________________________

Climb that uphill slope

_________________________________
Keep pushin' that envelope

_________________________________

You're my one last hope

_________________________________

And, kid, it's up to you

_________________________________
Yeah!

_________________________________

(HERCULES LAUGHING)

_________________________________

_________________________________
TIANA: Rise and shine,

sleeping beauty! Gators are gone.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

We got to get back to New Orleans

and undo this mess you got us into.

_________________________________

I was not the one parading around

with a phony-baloney tiara.
_________________________________

Music to paddle by.
_________________________________

I could use a little help.
_________________________________

Oh! I will play a little louder.
_________________________________

(PLAYING UPBEAT TUNE)

_________________________________

How about a little less picking and a...
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________

I know that tune! Dippermouth Blues!
_________________________________

(PLAYING UPBEAT TUNE)
_________________________________

Play it, brother!
_________________________________

Oh, yeah!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Where you been all my life?
_________________________________

Where did you learn to play like that?
_________________________________

Why, the bayou's the best jazz school

in the world.
_________________________________

All the greats play the riverboats.
_________________________________

Old Louis would give anything to be

up there jamming with the big boys.
_________________________________

-Why don't you?

-Oh, I tried once.
_________________________________

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
_________________________________

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
_________________________________

It didn't end well.
_________________________________

Uh-huh. It has been a real pleasure

meeting you, Louis.
_________________________________

And thank you kindly for not eating us,

but we best be on our way.
_________________________________

Where... Where y'all going?
_________________________________

To find somebody to break this spell.
_________________________________

What spell?
_________________________________

Brace yourself, my scaly friend.
_________________________________

We are not frogs.
_________________________________

We are humans.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Y'all serious?
_________________________________

I am Naveen, Prince of Maldonia.

And she is Tiana, the waitress.
_________________________________

(SOFTLY) Do not kiss her.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Now, just a second.
_________________________________

This goon here got himself turned into

a frog by a voodoo man, and now...
_________________________________

Voodoo? Like the kind Mama Odie do?
_________________________________

Mama who-dee?
_________________________________

Mama Odie.

She the voodoo queen of the bayou.
_________________________________

She got magic and spells,

all kind of hoodoo.
_________________________________

-Could you take us to her?

-Could you take us to her?
_________________________________

(GASPS) Through the deepest,

darkest part of the bayou?
_________________________________

Facing razor-sharp pricker bushes

and trappers and hunters with guns?
_________________________________

No.
_________________________________

(PLAYING SOULFUL TUNE)
_________________________________

Watch and learn.
_________________________________

Louis, it is too bad we cannot help you

with your dream.
_________________________________

If only you were smaller, less toothy,
_________________________________

you could play jazz to adoring crowds

without scaring them.
_________________________________

(STOPS PLAYING)
_________________________________

Anyway, enjoy your loneliness,

my friend.
_________________________________

(BIDS GOODBYE

IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

_________________________________

Cute, but it's not going to...
_________________________________

Hey, guys, I just had me a crazy idea!
_________________________________

What if I ask Mama Odie

to turn me human?
_________________________________

Louis! You are a genius!
_________________________________

Hallelujah!
_________________________________

(PLAYING UPBEAT TUNE)
_________________________________

(SINGING) If I were a human being
I'd head straight for New Orleans

_________________________________
And I'd blow this horn
so hot and strong

_________________________________
Like no one they've ever seen

_________________________________
You heard of Louis Armstrong

_________________________________
Mr. Sidney Bechet
_________________________________

All those boys gonna step aside
when they hear this old gator play

_________________________________

Listen

_________________________________
Oh, yeah!
_________________________________

(BOTH YELP)
_________________________________

When I'm human
as I hope to be

_________________________________
I'm gonna blow this horn
till the cows come home

_________________________________
And everyone's gonna
bow down to me

_________________________________
Thank you, thank you.
_________________________________

Oh, thank you. I love you, too, baby.
_________________________________

When I'm myself again
I want just the life I had
_________________________________

A great big party every night

That doesn't sound too bad
_________________________________

A redhead on my left arm
A brunette on my right
_________________________________

A blonde or two to hold the candles

Now that seems just about right
_________________________________

Eh, Louis?
_________________________________

Life is short
When you're done, you're done
_________________________________

We're on this earth to have some fun
_________________________________

-And that's the way things are

-Tell it, brother!
_________________________________

When I'm human, and I'm gonna be
_________________________________

I'm gonna tear it up like I did before

And that's a royal guarantee
_________________________________

You are getting married!
_________________________________

Oh, right.
_________________________________

I'll just have to leave
a string of broken hearts behind me!
_________________________________

Your modesty becomes you
and your sense of responsibility
_________________________________

I've worked hard for everything I've got
_________________________________

And that's the way it's supposed to be
_________________________________

When I'm a human being
at least I'll act like one

_________________________________
If you do your best
each and every day
_________________________________

Good things are sure
to come your way

_________________________________
What you give is what you get
_________________________________

My daddy said that and I'll never forget
_________________________________

And I commend it to you

_________________________________
-When we're human

-When we're human
_________________________________

-And we're gonna be

-And we're gonna be
_________________________________

I'm gonna blow my horn
_________________________________

I'm gonna live the high life
_________________________________

I'm gonna do my best
to take my place in the sun
_________________________________

-When we're

-When we're
_________________________________

-Human

-Human

_________________________________
_________________________________

Did you see that?

_________________________________

Next stop, Olympus.

_________________________________

All right, just take it easy, champ.

_________________________________

I am ready. I want to get off this island.

_________________________________

I want to see battles and monsters.

_________________________________

-Rescue some damsels.

-(WHINNYING SIGH)

_________________________________

You know, heroic stuff.

_________________________________

-Well...

-Aw, come on! Phil!

_________________________________

Well, okay. Okay, you want a road test?

Saddle up, kid.

_________________________________

We're going to Thebes!

_________________________________

-HERCULES: So what's in Thebes?

-A lot of problems.

_________________________________

It's a big, tough town.

Good place to start buildin' a rep.

_________________________________

-(WOMAN SCREAMING)

-(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

Sounds like your basic DID,

Damsel in Distress.

_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-(EVIL LAUGHTER)

_________________________________

Not so fast, sweetheart.

_________________________________

I swear, Nessus. Put me down or I'll...

_________________________________

Whoo! I like 'em fiery!

_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-Now, remember, kid.

_________________________________

First, analyse the situation.

_________________________________

Don't just barrel in there

without thinking.

_________________________________

-(NESSUS GROWLING)

-He's losin' points for this!

_________________________________

-You don't know what you're...

-Halt!

_________________________________

Step aside, two legs.

_________________________________

Pardon me, my good sir.

_________________________________

I'll have to ask you to

release that young...

_________________________________

-Keep movin', junior.

-Lady.

_________________________________

But you...

Aren't you a damsel in distress?

_________________________________

I'm a damsel, I'm in distress.

_________________________________

I can handle this. Have a nice day.

_________________________________

Uh. (CLEARS THROAT)

_________________________________

Ma'am, I'm afraid you may be

too close to the situation to realize...

_________________________________

Ohhh!

_________________________________

-What are you doin'? Get your sword!

-Sword. Right, right.

_________________________________

Rule number 15,

a hero is only as good as his weapon!

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(FISH SHRIEKING)

_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

Whoa! Hold it! Hold on!

He's gotta do it on his own.

_________________________________

Come on, kid! Concentrate!

_________________________________

-Use your head!

-(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

Oh.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

All right! Not bad, kid!

_________________________________

Not exactly what I had in mind,

but not bad.

_________________________________

(GROANS, COUGHS)

_________________________________

Oh, gee, miss, I'm really sorry.

That was dumb.

_________________________________

-Yeah.

-(SPLASHING)

_________________________________

Excuse me.

_________________________________

Nice work! Excelente!

_________________________________

Is Wonderboy here for real?

_________________________________

What are you talkin' about?

Of course he's real.

_________________________________

Whoa!

_________________________________

And by the way, sweet cheeks,

I'm real, too.

_________________________________

-(KISSING SOUNDS)

-Ugh!

_________________________________

Yee-hah! Yahoo!

_________________________________

Whoa!

_________________________________

(PUFFS)

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

-How was that, Phil?

-Rein it in, rookie.

_________________________________

You can get away with mistakes

like those in the minor decathlons,

_________________________________

but this is the big leagues!

_________________________________

At least I beat him, didn't I?

_________________________________

Next time, don't let your guard down

because of a pair of big goo-goo eyes!

_________________________________

It's like I keep tellin' ya.

You gotta stay focused, and... You...

_________________________________

(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

-(SNORTING)

-(BLEATING)

_________________________________

Are you all right, Miss...

_________________________________

Megara. My friends call me Meg.

At least, they would if I had any friends.

_________________________________

So did they give you a name

along with all those rippling pectorals?

_________________________________

(SHY CHUCKLE)

Uh, I'm, um, uh...

_________________________________

(STAMMERING)

_________________________________

Are you always this articulate?

_________________________________

Hercules. My... (CLEARS THROAT)

My name is Hercules.

_________________________________

Hercules. I think I prefer Wonderboy.

_________________________________

So, how'd you get mixed up with the...

_________________________________

Pinhead with hooves?

Well, you know how men are.

_________________________________

They think that "No" means "Yes, " and

"Get lost" means "Take me, I'm yours."

_________________________________

(CONFUSED WHINNY)

_________________________________

Don't worry.

Shorty here can explain it to ya later.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

Well, thanks for everything, Herc.

It's been a real slice.

_________________________________

Wait! Can we give you a ride?

_________________________________

(SNORTING, WHINNYING)

_________________________________

I don't think

your pinto likes me very much.

_________________________________

Pegasus? Oh, no. Don't be silly.

He'd be more than happy to... Ow.

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

I'll be all right. I'm a big, tough girl.

I tie my own sandals and everything.

_________________________________

Bye-bye, Wonderboy.

_________________________________

Bye.

_________________________________

-She's something. Isn't she, Phil?

-(GROWLS)

_________________________________

Yeah. Yeah. She's really something.

_________________________________

A real pain in the patella!

_________________________________

Earth to Herc!

Come in, Herc! Come in, Herc!

_________________________________

We got a job to do, remember?

(WHISTLES)

_________________________________

Thebes is still waitin'.

_________________________________

HERCULES: Yeah. Yeah. I know.

_________________________________

_________________________________
CHARLOTTE: Prince Naveen, dear,

I am positively mortified
_________________________________

you had to endure

that frog fiasco last night.
_________________________________

Well, when you're next in line

for the throne,
_________________________________

you're poised like a panther,
_________________________________

ready to expect the unexpected.
_________________________________

(BOTH SNARL)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Your ear?
_________________________________

What? Oh!
_________________________________

(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Those pesky mosquitoes.
_________________________________

They're everywhere. Please.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

Miss Charlotte, I can no longer ignore

the throbbing of my
_________________________________

heart.
_________________________________

Even though our time together

has been brief, it's been heavenly!
_________________________________

Land sakes, Prince Naveen!
_________________________________

You got me blushing like a...
_________________________________

Would you do me the honor of

becoming Princess of Maldonia?
_________________________________

Are you serious?
_________________________________

As the plague.
_________________________________

Yes!
_________________________________

I most definitely will marry you!
_________________________________

There's so much to plan!

I mean, the guest list,
_________________________________

the dress, the music,

the flowers, the shoes...
_________________________________

(SQUEALS)
_________________________________

We're going to have ourselves

a Mardi Gras wedding!
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

What do we do now?
_________________________________

Because somebody let

our froggy prince go, Larry,
_________________________________

I'm reduced to asking for help

from my friends on the other side.

_________________________________

Now, one fine day, the east wind
_________________________________

traded places with the west wind.

_________________________________
That stirred things up a bit

all through the Hundred Acre Wood.

_________________________________
On this blustery day,

_________________________________
Pooh decided to visit

his thoughtful spot.

_________________________________
Yes, and on the way

I made up a little hum.
_________________________________

It hums something like this.
_________________________________

Hum dum, dum di di dum
_________________________________

Hum dum dum
_________________________________

Oh, the wind is lashing lustily
_________________________________

And the trees are thrashing thrustily
_________________________________

And the leaves are rustling gustily
_________________________________

So it's rather safe to say
_________________________________

That it seems
that it may turn out to be
_________________________________

It feels that it will undoubtedly
_________________________________

It looks like a rather

blustery day today

_________________________________
It seems that it may turn out to be

_________________________________
Feels that it will undoubtedly

_________________________________
Looks like a rather blustery day today

_________________________________
Fortunately, Pooh's thoughtful spot

was in a sheltered place.

_________________________________
He sat down and tried

hard to think of something.

_________________________________
Think, think, think, think, think.
_________________________________

Think... Think... Think.
_________________________________

Say, what's wrong, sonny?
_________________________________

-Got yourself a headache?

-No, I was just thinking.
_________________________________

Is that so? What about?
_________________________________

I... Oh, bother, you made me forget.
_________________________________

If I was you, I'd think about

skedaddling out of here.
_________________________________

Why?
_________________________________

Because it's Winds-day.
_________________________________

Winds-day?
_________________________________
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

I think I shall wish

everyone a happy Winds-day.
_________________________________

I shall begin with

my very dear friend, Piglet.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: Piglet lived

in the middle of the forest

_________________________________

in a very grand house,

in the middle of a beech tree.

_________________________________
Piglet loved it very much.

_________________________________
Phew.
_________________________________
Yes.
_________________________________

Whoops!
_________________________________
You see, it's been

in the family a long time.
_________________________________

It belonged to my grandfather.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________
That's his name up there.

Trespassers Will.
_________________________________

That's short for Trespassers William.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: Trespassers William?

_________________________________

Yes. And Grandma. Oh!
_________________________________

She called him T.W.
_________________________________

That's even shorter.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: Yes, yes, yes.

And on this blustery day...

_________________________________

Whoo!
_________________________________

-...the wind was giving you a bother.

-Now, you've been here before.
_________________________________

I don't mind the leaves that are leaving.
_________________________________

It's the leaves that are coming! Whoops!
_________________________________

Happy Winds-day, Piglet.
_________________________________

Well, it isn't very happy for me.
_________________________________

Where are you going, Piglet?
_________________________________

That's what I'm asking myself, where?
_________________________________

Whoops!
_________________________________
Pooh!
_________________________________

What do you think

you will answer yourself?
_________________________________

Oh, I'm unravelling!
_________________________________

Whoops!
_________________________________

Oh, that was a close one!
_________________________________

Hang on tight, Piglet.
_________________________________

Oh, dear. Oh, dear, dear!
_________________________________

Look, Mama, look! A kite!
_________________________________

Oh, my goodness, it's Piglet!
_________________________________

Happy Winds-day, Kanga.

Happy Winds-day, Roo.
_________________________________

Can I fly Piglet next, Pooh?
_________________________________

Oh, dear. Oh, dear, dear!
_________________________________

There, that should

stand against anything.
_________________________________

Oh, help, help! Somebody, save me!
_________________________________

-Happy Winds-day, Eeyore.

-Thanks for noticing me.
_________________________________

Oh, bother!
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Oh, what a refreshing day
for harvesting.
_________________________________

Happy Winds-day, Rabbit.
_________________________________

Pooh bear! Stop! Oh, go back!
_________________________________
Oh, no! Oh, no!
_________________________________
Oh, no!
_________________________________

Oh, yes!
_________________________________

Next time, blow through
my rutabaga patch.
_________________________________
(SNORING)
_________________________________

Whoops!
_________________________________

Who, who, who... Who is it?
_________________________________

It's me. Please, may I come in?
_________________________________

Well, I say now.
_________________________________

Someone has pasted

Piglet on my window.
_________________________________

Well, well! Pooh, too.
_________________________________

This is a surprise.
_________________________________

Do come in and make yourselves
_________________________________

comfortable.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Am I correct in assuming it is

a rather blustery day outside?
_________________________________

Yes, sir, Owl.
_________________________________
It's a very, very blustery day outside.
_________________________________

Oh, yes. That reminds me.
_________________________________

Happy Winds-day, Owl.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) My good fellow,
_________________________________
I wouldn't go so far
as to call it a Winds-day,
_________________________________

just a gentle spring zephyr.
_________________________________

Excuse me, Owl,
_________________________________
but is there honey in that pot?
_________________________________

Oh, yes, of course. Help yourself.
_________________________________

Now, as I was saying,
_________________________________

this is just a mild spring zephyr,

compared to the big wind of '67.
_________________________________

Or was it '76? Oh, well, no matter.
_________________________________

Oh, I remember the big blow well.
_________________________________

I'll remember this one, too.
_________________________________

It was the year my Aunt Clara

went to visit her cousin.
_________________________________

Now, her cousin was not only
_________________________________

gifted on the glockenspiel,

but being a screech owl,
_________________________________
also sang soprano in the London opera.
_________________________________

Thank you, Piglet.
_________________________________

You see, her constant practicing

so unnerved my aunt,
_________________________________
that she laid a seagull egg by mistake.
_________________________________
Whoo!
_________________________________
(WHISTLING WIND)

_________________________________

PIGLET: Oh, dear. Oh, dear, dear.

_________________________________

Well, I say now, someone has...
_________________________________

Pooh, did you do that?
_________________________________

I don't think so.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: As soon as

Christopher Robin

_________________________________

heard of the disaster,

_________________________________
he hurried to the scene

of Owl's misfortune.

_________________________________
What a pity.
_________________________________

Owl, I don't think we will

ever be able to fix it.
_________________________________

If you ask me,

when a house looks like that,
_________________________________

it's time to find another one.
_________________________________

That's a very good idea, Eeyore.
_________________________________

Might take a day or two,

but l'll find a new one.
_________________________________

Good, that will just give me time

to tell you about my Uncle Clyde,
_________________________________

a very independent barn owl,

he didn't give a hoot for tradition.
_________________________________

He became enamored of a pussycat,
_________________________________

and went to sea in
a beautiful pea green boat.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________

When Igor Stravinsky wrote his ballet,

The Rite of Spring...
_________________________________
(CHIMES CLATTERING)
_________________________________
(CROWD MURMURING,
CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

I repeat,
_________________________________
when Igor Stravinsky wrote his ballet,
The Rite of Spring,
_________________________________

his purpose was, in his own words,

"to express primitive life."
_________________________________

And so Walt Disney and his fellow
artists have taken him at his word.
_________________________________

Instead of presenting the ballet

in its original form,
_________________________________

as a simple series of tribal dances,

they've visualized it as a pageant,
_________________________________

as the story of the growth

of life on Earth.
_________________________________

And that story,

as you're going to see it,
_________________________________

isn't the product

of anybody's imagination.
_________________________________

It's a coldly accurate reproduction

of what science thinks went on
_________________________________

during the first few billion years
of this planet's existence.
_________________________________

Science, no art,
wrote the scenario of this picture.
_________________________________

According to science,

the first living things here
_________________________________

were single-celled organisms,
_________________________________

tiny little white or green blobs

of nothing in particular
_________________________________

that lived under the water.
_________________________________

And then, as ages passed,

the oceans began to swarm
_________________________________

with all kinds of marine creatures.
_________________________________

Finally, after about a billion years,
_________________________________

certain fish, more ambitious

than the rest,
_________________________________

crawled up on land and became

the first amphibians.
_________________________________

And then,
several hundred million years ago,
_________________________________

nature went off on another tack

and produced the dinosaurs.
_________________________________

Now, the name "dinosaur"

comes from two Greek words
_________________________________

meaning "terrible lizard."
_________________________________

And they certainly were all of that.
_________________________________

They came in all shapes and sizes,
_________________________________

from little crawling horrors

about the size of a chicken
_________________________________

to hundred-ton nightmares.
_________________________________

They were not very bright.
_________________________________

Even the biggest of them

had only the brain of a pigeon.
_________________________________

They lived in the air and the water
as well as on land.
_________________________________

As a rule, they were vegetarians,
_________________________________

rather amiable
and easy to get along with.
_________________________________

However, there were bullies

and gangsters among them.
_________________________________

The worst of the lot,

a brute named tyrannosaurus rex,
_________________________________

was probably the meanest killer

that ever roamed the Earth.
_________________________________

The dinosaurs were lords of creation

for about 200 million years.
_________________________________

And then... Well,
we don't exactly know what happened.
_________________________________

Some scientists think that
great droughts and earthquakes
_________________________________

turned the whole world

into a gigantic dustbowl.
_________________________________

In any case,
the dinosaurs were wiped out.
_________________________________

That is where our story ends.
_________________________________

Where it begins is at a time

infinitely far back,
_________________________________

when there was no life at all on Earth,
_________________________________

nothing but clouds of steam,
_________________________________

boiling seas and exploding volcanoes.
_________________________________

So now,
imagine yourselves out in space
_________________________________

billions and billions of years ago,
_________________________________

looking down on this lonely,

tormented little planet,
_________________________________

spinning through
an empty sea of nothingness.
_________________________________
(SONG BEGINS)
_________________________________
(SONG ENDS)
_________________________________

_________________________________
On My Way – Brother Bear
_________________________________
_________________________________
KODA: If you really want to know
how me and my mom got separated...
_________________________________
I was saving this story
for the salmon run, but I'll tell you.
_________________________________
It was probably the fifth or sixth
most coldest day in my entire life.
_________________________________
-Sounds good. You should save it.
-You think so?
_________________________________
-Oh, yeah. For your friends.
-Oh.
_________________________________
-Well, I have this other story.
-Tell you what.
_________________________________
-How about no talking?
-Okay.
_________________________________
-Then I'll sing.
-No, no, no.
_________________________________
(SINGING)
Tell everybody I'm on my way
_________________________________
Will you stop it?
_________________________________
New friends and new places to see
_________________________________
Come on, quit it. Shh!
_________________________________
-Koda, stop singing.
-(MUFFLED)
_________________________________
Yes, I'm on my way
_________________________________
And there's nowhere else
that I'd rather be
_________________________________
Tell everybody I'm on my way
_________________________________
And I'm loving every step I take
_________________________________
With the sun beating down
Yes, I'm on my way
_________________________________
And I can't keep this smile off my face
_________________________________
'Cause there's nothing like
seeing each other again
_________________________________
No matter what the distance between
_________________________________
And the stories that we tell
will make you smile
_________________________________
Oh, it really lifts my heart
_________________________________
So tell them all I'm on my way
_________________________________
New friends and new places to see
_________________________________
And to sleep under the stars
Who could ask for more?
_________________________________
With the moon keeping watch over me
_________________________________
Not the snow, not the rain
can change my mind
_________________________________
The sun will come out, wait and see
_________________________________
And the feeling of the wind in your face
_________________________________
Can lift your heart, whoa
_________________________________
There's nowhere I would rather be
_________________________________
'Cause I'm on my way now
_________________________________
Well and true
_________________________________
I'm on my way now
_________________________________
RUTT: Hey, hold on, eh?
_________________________________
KODA: Wait up.
_________________________________
(RUTT AND TUKE PANTING)
_________________________________
-How's it going, bear boy?
-And, uh, smallish bear.
_________________________________
I didn't know you had a little brother.
He's cute.
_________________________________
-Actually, he's...
-There was this hunter following us.
_________________________________
We was thinking if we could
maybe just hang out with you guys.
_________________________________
-Just hang out.
-Yeah, it'd be fun.
_________________________________
-If the hunter was going to catch up...
-Then you'd eat him.
_________________________________
-That's what we was thinking.
-We lost the hunter at the glacier.
_________________________________
You don't think he'll follow those?
_________________________________
-They are quite nice.
-I've got an idea.
_________________________________
Okay, this is really weird.
_________________________________
(TRUMPETS)
_________________________________
-I'm driving.
-When can I have a turn?
_________________________________
It's not as easy as it looks.
Just watch what I do.
_________________________________
Let's get a back seat or something.
I look like you hunted me.
_________________________________
Tell everybody I'm on my way
_________________________________
Hey, come on.
_________________________________
And I just can't wait to be there
_________________________________
Blue skies ahead
Yes, I'm on my way
_________________________________
Nothing but good times to share
_________________________________
So tell everybody I'm on my way
_________________________________
And I just can't wait to be home
_________________________________
With the sun beating down
Yes, I'm on my way
_________________________________
With nothing but good times to show
_________________________________
I'm on my way
_________________________________
Yes, I'm on my way
_________________________________
RUTT: Beauty, eh?
_________________________________

_________________________________

And now we'll have
a 15-minute intermission.
_________________________________
(LIGHT AUDIENCE CHATTER)
_________________________________
(INDIVIDUAL
INSTRUMENTS PLAY)
_________________________________

_________________________________
(CARS PLAYING)
_________________________________

-So where do we go first?

-I shall take the liberty
_________________________________

of using my modem
to locate the Muppets.
_________________________________

-(DIAL TONE, DIALING)

-Okay.
_________________________________

-(LOUD STATIC)

-Oh, stop it!
_________________________________

In the name of all
that's sacred, let it end!
_________________________________

R-E-N-O. That spells "Reno."
_________________________________

You have reached your destination.

My guidance ends here.
_________________________________
KERMIT: Well, I guess this is the place.

_________________________________
FOZZIE: Good evening, folks,

and welcome to Pechoolo Casino!
_________________________________

(SINGING)
Why are there such great deals

_________________________________
On our hotel rooms?
_________________________________

Free parking for cars
_________________________________

-Not RVs

-Not RVs
_________________________________

Our wedding chapel is 24 hours
_________________________________
-No marriage certificate is needed

-No marriage certificate is needed

_________________________________
We're glad you found it
_________________________________

Pechoolo Casino
_________________________________

The owners, the Moopets and me

_________________________________
Cha-cha-cha!
_________________________________

Thank you, thank you.
_________________________________

We'll be back in six minutes.
_________________________________

Mmm.
_________________________________

-Hi-ho, Fozzie.

-Hi-ho, Kermit.
_________________________________

Kermit? (STUTTERING)

What are you doing here?
_________________________________

Uh, well, I... I just want to tell you
that was a great, uh, show.

_________________________________

Uh, it was, uh, uh... Very informative.
_________________________________

I do my best to keep it fresh each night.
_________________________________

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, I'm Fozzie, by the way.
_________________________________

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

Uh, this is Gary and Mary.
_________________________________

And this here is Walter.

Uh, he's a personal friend.
_________________________________

-Yeah.

-So I said, "What are you looking at?"
_________________________________

-So I punched him in the face! I mean...

-(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________

-Let's talk in my dressing room.

-Uh, sure.
_________________________________

Here we are.
_________________________________

Make yourselves at home.
_________________________________

-(DOG BARKING)

-Wow.
_________________________________

Huh. This is, uh, not

quite what I expected,
_________________________________

-based on your Christmas cards.

-Oh, yeah. Uh, about that...
_________________________________

Oh, oh, but it's nice. And... And airy.
_________________________________

Maybe we should
give them some space.
_________________________________

I know, but I just wanna hear

what they're gonna say. Okay.

_________________________________

Fozzie, an evil oil baron wants to

tear down our old Muppet studio.
_________________________________

-What? Oh, no!

-(GUNSHOTS)
_________________________________

-I mean, uh, that's a shame.

-(GUNFIRES, POLICE SIREN)
_________________________________

POLICEMAN: Step out of the vehicle!
_________________________________

Hey, Fozzie...
_________________________________

Um, I'm sorry I haven't
been in touch more.
_________________________________

It's fine, Kermit. Look at me!

Living the dream!
_________________________________

-(THUNDER CRASHES)

-Uh-oh.
_________________________________

Oh, no! Not this again!
_________________________________

-Quick, save the cushions!

-The cushions?
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

I'm sorry, Fozzie.
_________________________________

If I'd known you were here
in this place...
_________________________________

That's all right, Kermit.

It's not your fault.
_________________________________

-We had a good run.

-Yeah.
_________________________________

Yeah, it's just that...
_________________________________

Well, we haven't seen each other

in a really long time, and I...
_________________________________

I just thought maybe we could raise

the money to buy the theater back
_________________________________

if we all got together

and put on one last show.
_________________________________

A show? But I've spent years

building a solo career.
_________________________________

I have a whole new show-biz
family that loves me.
_________________________________

Fozzie! What the heck

are you doing, hibernating?
_________________________________

Next show starts in 30 seconds.
_________________________________

We hired you, and we can fire you,

so get your butt in here now!
_________________________________

(BOTH GRUNT)
_________________________________

-They terrify me. Let's go.

-Hmm, let's go.

_________________________________
KERMIT:

Watch out for the forklift, Fozzie.
_________________________________
FOZZIE: Thanks.

_________________________________

Wow! Gonzo's doing really well!
_________________________________

According to '80s Robot,
_________________________________

he's the richest plumbing magnate
in the Rust Belt.

_________________________________

You! Order 28,000 tons of

plumber's putty from Beijing.
_________________________________

-MAN: Right away, sir.

-And, you, send the 28,000 tons
_________________________________

of Silly Putty back to Beijing.
_________________________________

-MAN: You bet.

-Oh, and you?
_________________________________

A memo to the waterless

toilet department.
_________________________________

I don't care about the mess,

just keep trying.
_________________________________

-Hi, Gonzo.

-Uh... Kermit? Fozzie?
_________________________________
This is a surprise.
_________________________________

-Uh, we need to speak to you.

-All right. Have a seat.
_________________________________

Ah! Thank you!
_________________________________

-I think I'll stand.

-No, really, you should try one! Comfy.

_________________________________

It's our executive line of used toilets.
_________________________________

-ALL: Mmm...

-Anyway, I'm very busy.
_________________________________

-I've got 30 seconds. Go.

-(TICKING)
_________________________________

Uh, Gonzo, I'm not quite

sure how to say this, but...
_________________________________

Don't forget to mention

the evil oil baron.
_________________________________

Yes, Fozzie, I was about to.

Just give me a moment, okay?
_________________________________

Uh, Gonzo, it would appear...
_________________________________

Remember, evil oil baron.
_________________________________

Fozzie, I'm going to get to that. Please!
_________________________________

-As I was trying to say...

-Evil oil baron.
_________________________________

-(BUZZER RINGS)

-Okay, time's up. Thank you, guys.
_________________________________

Gonzo, we're trying to get the

old gang back together again.
_________________________________

-We really need you.

-My answer is no. Good day!
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________

Uh, come on, guys. We should go.
_________________________________

I just want to say, when I was a kid,

I saw you recite Hamlet
_________________________________

while jumping your motorbike

through a flaming hoop,
_________________________________
and it made me feel

like I could do anything.
_________________________________

Thank you. Yeah.
_________________________________

(CLUCKING) Gonzo...
_________________________________
You don't have to pretend anymore.
I know what you really want.
_________________________________

-Good try, Walter.
-GONZO: Hey, guys, up here!

_________________________________

-Yee-haw!

-Huh?
_________________________________

I've been wearing this under

my suit every single day for years!
_________________________________

Look out below! Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________

Whoa, where you going?

You threw me off-balance!
_________________________________

I can't see! Apollo 13!
_________________________________

-(CLUCKING)

-(GONZO GROANING)
_________________________________

Citizens of Earth,

the Great Gonzo is back.
_________________________________

I pledge never to hold a plunger again!
_________________________________

-(BEEPING)

-Run!
_________________________________
Run! Run for your lives! Run, run, run!
_________________________________

-(SHOUTING)

-Run, guys!
_________________________________

-(CLUCKING)

-Run!
_________________________________

Oh, my gosh, run everybody!
_________________________________

It's gonna be big!
It's gonna be a big one!

_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

Wow! That was an

expensive looking explosion!
_________________________________

I can't believe we had that in the budget.
_________________________________
TEACHER: So maybe if you

look inside yourself,
_________________________________

the person you should be
most angry at is you. It's you.
_________________________________

How have you been feeling?

Any more control issues?
_________________________________

In control.
_________________________________

-Good.

-KERMIT: Psst! Animal!
_________________________________

-TEACHER: Excellent.

-It's me, Kermit.
_________________________________

Hey, we're having a meeting here, man.
_________________________________

You're being really rude, frog!
_________________________________

Pardon us, please. Animal,
I need to talk to you for a second.
_________________________________

We're getting the Muppets back together.

We need you to drum again.
_________________________________

-Animal drum?

-Yes!
_________________________________

-Please, sir.

-Drum! Drum, drum!
_________________________________

-Drum, drum, drum!

-Okay, Okay.
_________________________________

-In control.

-Good.
_________________________________

I'm Animal's court-appointed sponsor.
_________________________________

We don't use the "d-r-u-m" word.
_________________________________

-It's his trigger word.

-His trigger word?
_________________________________

Excuse me, Mr. Black.

I'm so sorry to interrupt,
_________________________________

but it's very important to these guys

that they get their drummer...
_________________________________
Gary!

_________________________________

It's my trigger word, too.
_________________________________

Jack, we talked about this on Tuesday.
_________________________________

Tuesday's another one

of my trigger words!
_________________________________

Oh! Oh, I don't think so!
_________________________________

Sorry.
_________________________________

-Let's go, Animal.

-ANIMAL: Bye-bye!
_________________________________

-Animal, heel.

-Go, Animal! Be free, man!
_________________________________

But remember! No drumming!
_________________________________
'80S ROBOT: Mr. Kermit,

may I suggest we save time
_________________________________
and pick up the rest of the Muppets
using a montage?
_________________________________
KERMIT: Ah, great idea, '80s Robot.

_________________________________

-(PLAYS GUITAR CHORD)

-We greatly appreciate
_________________________________

-your financial support.

-Whoa!
_________________________________
'80S ROBOT: Eighty-seven
point three miles to go.

_________________________________
-Eighty-seven point two...
-KERMIT: '80s Robot,
_________________________________

do you have to do that?
_________________________________

...the secrets of the universe...
_________________________________

Whoa! (SCREECHING)
_________________________________

(SHOUTING)
_________________________________

I guess we're in.
_________________________________
(BACK IN BLACK PLAYING)
_________________________________

Welcome to this week's edition
_________________________________

of "Everything Stinks." Whoa!

_________________________________

Bye, Lisa.
Off to the TED Conference. Whoa!

_________________________________

Three, two, one.
_________________________________

Think we should've rented a bigger car?
_________________________________

Hey, wait for me!

I wanna help save the studio!
_________________________________

I wanna go with you! Oh, not again.
_________________________________

Wow. I can't believe

we're all back together.
_________________________________

Even all you guys

who weren't in the montage!
_________________________________

Yeah, uh, how come you

didn't use me in the montage?
_________________________________

I thought my story was pretty interesting.
_________________________________

-(SNORING)

-Rowlf?
_________________________________

-Huh? What?

-Wanna get back together?
_________________________________

-Okay.

-Good.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Classic.
_________________________________

Anyhow, looks like we got everybody,
_________________________________

so we can plan our telethon

and raise that ten million dollars.
_________________________________

-Well, not everybody.

-No, I think everybody's here.
_________________________________

-Where's...?

-All good!
_________________________________

-Miss...

-All done here!
_________________________________

Piggy?
_________________________________

Kermit, we're going

to get Miss Piggy, right?
_________________________________

Okay, okay, okay, you're right.

We'll go get Piggy!
_________________________________

-(PHONE DIALING)

-My Minitel tells me
_________________________________

she is in Paris, France.
_________________________________

Oh! Well, then we drive to France.
_________________________________

You can't drive to France, Walter.
_________________________________

Yeah. It's way too far.
_________________________________

Then maybe we should travel by map!
_________________________________

-Good idea, Fozzie.

-ALL: Yeah!
_________________________________

(PEOPLE SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

(SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________

ALL: To Paris!
_________________________________
Paris! Paris!

_________________________________
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________
WALTER: Look at these ceilings!

_________________________________
FOZZIE: Yeah. They must

be very tall here.
_________________________________
KERMIT: Yeah, very nice.

_________________________________

Uh, hi there.
_________________________________
Uh, excuse me.
_________________________________

Uh, miss? Uh, pardon me, ma'am?
_________________________________

Hi there! Uh, we're here to see

Miss Piggy, and it's urgent.
_________________________________

-Mmm-hmm.

-Urgent! Urgent!
_________________________________

-Is it urgent?

-Very. Yes.
_________________________________

Let's have a look then, shall we?
_________________________________

She has an opening in
_________________________________

-early September.

-Early September?
_________________________________

That's like six months from now!
_________________________________

That's nothing. Once I waited

a whole year for September.
_________________________________

She is the plus-size editor.
She's a huge deal and extremely busy.
_________________________________

You can't just pop in
without an appointment.
_________________________________

-Oh. Okay, then.

-Thank you.
_________________________________
RECEPTIONIST: All right.
ANIMAL: Mean lady.

_________________________________

-Close the door on your way out.

-KERMIT: Thanks a lot.
_________________________________
-She wasn't very nice.
-KERMIT: Yeah.

_________________________________

(SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________

-Guys! Muppet Man!

-Huh?
_________________________________

-Yeah!

-Huh?
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-That could work!
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

Hello.
_________________________________

(MUPPETS GROANING)
_________________________________

I have an appointment.
_________________________________

Oh. Okay.
_________________________________

Um, will you wait here a moment?
_________________________________
MISS PIGGY: Decisions, decisions.

_________________________________

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.

I choose you. (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

-(CHEWING)

-Mademoiselle Cochonnet?
_________________________________

-Can't you see I'm busy?

-Of course.
_________________________________

There's a, um, man here to see you.
_________________________________

He does have an appointment.
_________________________________

An appointment? That's weird.
_________________________________

Well, why didn't you say so?

Send him in!
_________________________________

Right away. Sorry.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHS)

-Remember, left foot, right foot.
_________________________________

Hello.
_________________________________

Whoa! Oh, what?
_________________________________

-(GLASS SHATTERS)

-Oop, sorry.
_________________________________

That looked expensive.
_________________________________

Wah!
_________________________________

Whoa! Oh! (SIGHS)
_________________________________

-You look familiar.

-So do you!
_________________________________

-Whoa!

-Please, have a seat.
_________________________________

Yes, we're going to have a seat now.
_________________________________

-No, no, no, don't sit down!

-Oh, sorry! Whoa!
_________________________________

Uh-oh! Message to head.
Left leg in trouble!
_________________________________

Going down. Left leg going down!
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

I can't believe I fell for Muppet Man.
_________________________________
MARY: You guys okay?
GARY: Is anyone hurt?

_________________________________

Kermit?
_________________________________

-Hello, Piggy.

-Kermie!
_________________________________

Oh, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie,

Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie,
_________________________________

Kermie!
_________________________________

Mmm. Kissy-kissy, mmm-mmm.
_________________________________

Wait! What am I doing?

I promised myself I'd never go back!
_________________________________

I am woman! I am strong!

You must leave at once!
_________________________________

-(SPEAKS FRENCH)

-Okay.
_________________________________

No, no, wait, wait!
_________________________________

Miss Piggy!

The Muppet Studios are in danger.
_________________________________

In danger? Our studios? Kermit!
_________________________________

It's true, Piggy. And we need
to do The Muppet Show again.

_________________________________

-We need you.

-Oh.
_________________________________

Before I decide anything,

I need to talk with you, frog.
_________________________________

(SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________

Alone.
_________________________________

Piggy? Last time we were together,
_________________________________

I said some things I regret.
_________________________________

No. No, Kermit.

You were just being honest.
_________________________________

You never intended to marry me.
_________________________________

Not even after I built us a house
_________________________________

where we could raise tadpoles

and grow old together.
_________________________________

Well, who do you think's been looking

after that house all these years, huh?
_________________________________

Piggy, why do you have to always

be so overdramatic about things?
_________________________________

You know, it leaves me no choice

but to do things that hurt you.
_________________________________

I am who I am. Why can't
you accept that about me?
_________________________________

Look, this is not about you and me.
_________________________________

It's never about you and me, is it?
_________________________________

It's always "we." "We" this, "we" that.
_________________________________

"We need you." You can't even say,

"I need you," can you?
_________________________________

Piggy, uh...
_________________________________

I'm sorry, Kermit, but I have a life here.
_________________________________

A life I've made for myself.
_________________________________

Oh. Piggy!
_________________________________

Just remember, Kermit,

I cannot be replaced.
_________________________________

Kermit? What happened?

Where's Miss Piggy?
_________________________________

She's not coming, Fozzie.
_________________________________

-(ALL GASPING)

-But, Kermit,
_________________________________
we always worked together.

We can't do this without Miss Piggy.
_________________________________

No one would give
us a show without her.
_________________________________

We'll be fine, Fozzie.
_________________________________

We'll be fine.
_________________________________

We just...
_________________________________

We'll just have to
come up with something else.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Kermie.
_________________________________

Hmm...
_________________________________
KERMIT: Okay, I've got an idea.

We need a pig that can sing.
_________________________________
FOZZIE: But, Kermit, who could

possibly replace Miss Piggy?
_________________________________

_________________________________

GASTON: Who does she think she is?

_________________________________

That girl has tangled

with the wrong man.

_________________________________

-No one says no to Gaston.

-(SCOFFS) Darn right.

_________________________________

Dismissed. Rejected.

Publicly humiliated.

_________________________________

Why, it's more than I can bear.

_________________________________

-More beer?

-What for? Nothing helps.

_________________________________

-I'm disgraced.

-Who, you? Never.

_________________________________

Gaston, you've got

to pull yourself together.

_________________________________

(SINGING) Gosh, it disturbs me

to see you, Gaston

_________________________________

Looking so down in the dumps

_________________________________

Every guy here'd

love to be you, Gaston

_________________________________

(CHEERING)

_________________________________

Even when taking your lumps

_________________________________

There's no man in town

as admired as you

_________________________________

You're everyone's favourite guy

_________________________________

Everyone's awed

and inspired by you

_________________________________

And it's not very hard

_________________________________

To see why

_________________________________

(WOMEN SIGHING)

_________________________________

No one's slick as Gaston

_________________________________

No one's quick as Gaston

_________________________________

No one's neck's

as incredibly thick as Gaston

_________________________________

For there's no man in town

half as manly

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Perfect, a pure paragon

_________________________________

You can ask any

Tom, Dick or Stanley

_________________________________

And they'll tell you

whose team they prefer to be on

_________________________________

No one's been like Gaston

_________________________________

A kingpin like Gaston

_________________________________

No one's got a swell cleft

in his chin like Gaston

_________________________________

As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating

_________________________________

My, what a guy, that Gaston

_________________________________

Give five hurrahs

Give 12 hip-hips

_________________________________

Gaston is the best

and the rest is all drips

_________________________________

ALL: No one fights like Gaston

_________________________________

Douses lights like Gaston

_________________________________

In a wrestling match

nobody bites like Gaston

_________________________________

For there's no one

as burly and brawny

_________________________________

As you see, I've got biceps to spare

_________________________________

-Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny

-That's right

_________________________________

And every last inch of me's

covered with hair

_________________________________

-No one hits like Gaston

-Matches wits like Gaston

_________________________________

In a spitting match

nobody spits like Gaston

_________________________________

I'm especially good at expectorating

_________________________________

Ptooey!

_________________________________

Ten points for Gaston

_________________________________

When I was a lad

I ate four dozen eggs

_________________________________

Every morning to help me get large

_________________________________

And now that I'm grown

I eat five dozen eggs

_________________________________

So I'm roughly the size of a barge

_________________________________

No one shoots like Gaston

_________________________________

Makes those beauts like Gaston

_________________________________

Then goes tromping around

wearing boots like Gaston

_________________________________

I use antlers in all of my decorating

_________________________________

My, what a guy

_________________________________

Gaston

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________

(CHEERING)

_________________________________

-Help! Someone help me!

-Maurice?

_________________________________

Please! Please, I need your help.

_________________________________

He's got her...

He's got her locked in the dungeon.

_________________________________

-Who?

-Belle. We must go.

_________________________________

Not... Not a minute to lose.

_________________________________

Whoa! Slow down, Maurice.

_________________________________

-Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon?

-A beast!

_________________________________

A horrible, monstrous beast!

_________________________________

(ALL LAUGHING)

_________________________________

-Is it a big beast?

-Huge.

_________________________________

-With a long, ugly snout?

-Hideously ugly.

_________________________________

-And sharp, cruel fangs?

-Yes, yes! Will you help me?

_________________________________

All right, old man. We'll help you out.

_________________________________

You will?

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

_________________________________

Oh!

_________________________________

-Crazy old Maurice.

-(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

He's always good for a laugh.

_________________________________

Crazy old Maurice, hmm?

_________________________________

Crazy old Maurice.

_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

(SINGING)

LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking

_________________________________

A dangerous pastime

_________________________________

I know

_________________________________

But that wacky old coot

is Belle's father

_________________________________

And his sanity's only so-so

_________________________________

Now, the wheels in my head

have been turning

_________________________________

Since I looked at that loony old man

_________________________________

See, I promised myself

I'd be married to Belle

_________________________________

And right now, I'm evolving a plan

_________________________________

-If I... (WHISPERING)

-Yes?

_________________________________

-Then we... (WHISPERING)

-No, would she?

_________________________________

-Guess.

-Now I get it!

_________________________________

-Let's go!

-Let's go!

_________________________________

(SINGING) No one plots like Gaston

_________________________________

Takes cheap shots like Gaston

_________________________________

Plans to persecute harmless crackpots

like Gaston

_________________________________

ALL: So, his marriage

we soon will be celebrating

_________________________________

My, what a guy

_________________________________

Gaston

_________________________________

Will no one help me?
_________________________________

_________________________________

I wonder who lives here.

_________________________________
RABBIT: Mary Ann. Drat that girl.
Where could she have put them?
_________________________________

-The Rabbit.

-Mary Ann?
_________________________________

No use, can't wait, I'm awfully late.

Oh me, oh my.

_________________________________

Excuse me, sir, but I've been trying to...
_________________________________

Mary Ann,
what are you doing out here?
_________________________________

Mary Ann?
_________________________________

Don't just do something, stand there.
_________________________________

-No, no. Go get my gloves. I'm late.

-For what? That's just what I...
_________________________________

My gloves! At once! Do you hear?
_________________________________

Goodness. I suppose I'll be taking
orders from Dinah next.

_________________________________

Hmm. Now, let me see.

_________________________________

If I were a rabbit,

where would I keep my gloves?
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________
Thank you. Don't mind if I do.

_________________________________

(HUMS)
_________________________________

Oh, no, no. Not again.
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS) Mary Ann!
_________________________________

You see here, Mary Ann.

_________________________________

Help!
_________________________________

(SCREAMS) Help!
_________________________________
Help! Monster!
_________________________________

-Help! Assistance!

-(TRUMPET TOOTS)
_________________________________

(ALICE STRAINS)

_________________________________
RABBIT:
A monster, Dodo, in my house.
_________________________________

Dodo?
_________________________________
-My poor house.

-Steady, old chap.

_________________________________

-Can't be as bad as all that.

-My poor roof and rafters.
_________________________________

All my walls. There it is!
_________________________________

By jove. Jolly well is, isn't it?
_________________________________

Do something.
_________________________________

Yes, indeed.
Extraordinary situation, but...

_________________________________

But... But what?
_________________________________

(HOOTS)
_________________________________

But I have a very simple solution.

_________________________________
-Thank goodness.
-RABBIT: What is it?
_________________________________

-Simply pull it out the chimney.

-Go ahead. Pull it out.
_________________________________

Who? Me? Don't be ridiculous.

_________________________________

What we need is a...

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

...a lizard with a ladder.
_________________________________

Oh! Bill! Bill,
we need a lazard with a lidder.
_________________________________

-Can you help us?

-At your service, guv'nor.

_________________________________

Bill, me lad, have you ever
been down a chimney?
_________________________________

Guv'nor, I been down more chimneys...
_________________________________

Excellent.
_________________________________
You just pop down the chimney
and haul that monster out of there.
_________________________________

Righto, guv'nor. Monster? (SCREAMS)
_________________________________
(RABBIT AND DODO SHOUT)
_________________________________

Come now. That's better, m'lad.

_________________________________

You're passing up a golden opportunity.

_________________________________

I am?
_________________________________

-You can be famous.

-I can?
_________________________________

Of course. There's a brave lad.
_________________________________

In you go, now. Nothing to it, old boy.

_________________________________

Simply tie your tail around the
monster's neck and drag it out.

_________________________________

-But, guv'nor...
-Good luck, Bill.

_________________________________

(PREPARES TO SNEEZE)
_________________________________
(SNEEZES)
_________________________________

Well, there goes Bill.
_________________________________

Poor Bill.

_________________________________

Perhaps we should try
a more energetic remedy.
_________________________________

Yes, anything, anything, but hurry.
_________________________________

I propose that we...

_________________________________

-Yes, go on. Yes? Yes?
-I propose that we...
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

By jove, that's it.
We'll burn the house down.
_________________________________

Yes. Burn the house... What?

_________________________________

Oh, no.
_________________________________

(SINGING) We'll smoke the brighter out
_________________________________

We'll put the beast to rout

_________________________________
Some kindling, just a stick or two
_________________________________
-This bit of rubbish ought to do

-Oh, dear.

_________________________________

We'll smoke the blighter out

_________________________________
We'll smoke the monster out
_________________________________

No, no. Not my beautiful bird house.
_________________________________

We'll roast the blighter's toes
_________________________________

We'll toast the bounder's nose
Just fetch that gate
_________________________________
We'll make it clear that monsters
aren't welcome here
_________________________________

-Oh me, oh my.
-A match. Thank you.

_________________________________

Without a single doubt
We'll smoke the monster out
_________________________________

We'll smoke the monster out
_________________________________

No. My poor house and furniture.
_________________________________

Oh, dear. This is serious.

_________________________________

I simply must... (GASPS) A garden.
_________________________________

Perhaps if I eat something,
it will make... Me... Grow small.
_________________________________

Ow! Let go! Help!
_________________________________

-I'm sorry, but I must eat something.
-Not me, you... You... Barbarian.
_________________________________

Help!
_________________________________

Monster!
_________________________________
Help!
_________________________________

I'm late. Oh, dear. I'm here.
I should be there. I'm late.
_________________________________
-I say, do you have a match?
-Must go. Goodbye, hello.
_________________________________
-I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.
-Wait. Please wait.
_________________________________

Ah, young lady, do you have a match?
_________________________________

No, I'm sorry but... Mr. Rabbit.
_________________________________

No cooperation, no cooperation at all.

_________________________________

Well, can't have monsters about.

_________________________________

Jolly well have to carry on alone.

_________________________________
(BLOWS)
_________________________________

Wait. Please. Just a minute.
_________________________________

Oh, dear. I'll never catch him
while I'm this small.

_________________________________
-Curious butterflies.
-FLOWER: Bread-and-butterflies.
_________________________________

Yes, of course... Hmm?
_________________________________

Who do you suppose...
_________________________________

(WHINNIES)
_________________________________

A horsefly. I mean, a rocking-horsefly.

_________________________________
-FLOWER: Naturally.
-I beg your pardon, but did you...
_________________________________

That's nonsense. Flowers can't talk.
_________________________________

But of course we can talk, my dear.

_________________________________

If there's anyone worth talking to.

_________________________________

Or about. (GIGGLES)
_________________________________

-And we sing, too.
-You do?
_________________________________

Oh, yes. Would you like to hear
Tell It To The Tulips?
_________________________________

-No, let's sing about us.
-We know one about the shy violet.
_________________________________

-Not that old thing.
-Lovely lily of the valley.
_________________________________

-A daisy duet?
-She wouldn't like that.

_________________________________

Girls. We shall sing Golden Afternoon.

_________________________________

That's about all of us.

_________________________________

Sound your A, Lily.
_________________________________

(SINGS) La!
_________________________________
(ALL SING) Me, me, me, me, me!

_________________________________

(SINGS) La, la, la, la, la!
_________________________________

(SINGS ARPEGGIO)
_________________________________

(SINGS BASS NOTES)
_________________________________

(ALL HUM IN HARMONY)

_________________________________
(SINGING) Little bread-and-butterflies
kiss the tulips

_________________________________
And the sun is like a toy balloon

_________________________________

There are get-up-in-the-morning glories
_________________________________

In the golden afternoon

_________________________________

There are dancing daffodils
on the hillside

_________________________________

Strings of violets are all in tune
_________________________________

Tiger lilies love the dandelions

_________________________________

In the golden afternoon

_________________________________

The golden afternoon
_________________________________

There are dog-and-caterpillars
and a copper centipede

_________________________________

Where the lazy daisies love
_________________________________

The very peaceful life they lead

_________________________________

You can learn a lot of things
from the flowers
_________________________________

For especially in the month of June
_________________________________

Ah ah ah ah
_________________________________

There's a wealth
of happiness and romance
_________________________________

All in the golden afternoon

_________________________________
(RINGING)

_________________________________
(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

(BRASS PLAYING)
_________________________________

(STRINGS PLAYING)
_________________________________

All in the golden afternoon
_________________________________

The golden afternoon

_________________________________

You can learn a lot of things
from the flowers

_________________________________

For especially in the month of June
_________________________________

There's a wealth
of happiness and romance

_________________________________

All...
_________________________________

In the golden afternoon
_________________________________

(BRASSES PLAYING)

_________________________________

(CYMBALS CRASH)
_________________________________

(CLAPPING)
_________________________________

-That was lovely.
-Thank you, my dear.

_________________________________

What kind of garden do you come from?
_________________________________

-I don't come from any garden.
-Do you suppose she's a wild flower?
_________________________________

No, I'm not a wild flower.
_________________________________

Just what specie or shall
we say genus are you, my dear?
_________________________________

Well, I suppose you'd call me
a genus humans Alice.

_________________________________
FLOWER: Ever see an Alice
with a blossom like that?
_________________________________

Come to think of it,
did you ever see an Alice?
_________________________________

And did you notice her petals?
_________________________________

What a peculiar color.
_________________________________

And no fragrance.

_________________________________

-Just look at those stems.
-Rather scrawny, I'd say.
_________________________________

-I think she's pretty.
-Quiet, Bud.
_________________________________

-But I'm not a flower.
-Ah-ha! Just as I suspected.
_________________________________

She's nothing but a common
mobile vulgaris.
_________________________________

ALL: Oh, no!
_________________________________

-A common what?
-To put it bluntly, a weed.
_________________________________

I'm not a weed.
_________________________________

-You wouldn't expect her to admit it.
-Can you imagine?
_________________________________

-Well, goodness.
-Don't let her stay and go to seed.
_________________________________

-Go on.
-Please go.
_________________________________

-We don't want weeds in our bed.
-Move along.
_________________________________

(TRUMPETING)
_________________________________

(SQUEALS)
_________________________________

(BARKS)
_________________________________

All right.
If that's the way you feel about it.

_________________________________

If I were my right size, I could pick
every one of you if I wanted to.
_________________________________

And I guess that'd teach you.
_________________________________
(SCREAMS)

_________________________________
You can learn a lot of things
from the flowers. (HARRUMPHS)

_________________________________
Seems to me they could learn a
few things about manners.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Oh, Cornelius, my sunshine.
_________________________________
First you buzzed in here the other day
on that wretched thing...

_________________________________
and announced in front of
the entire court...
_________________________________
that you'd found the girl of your dreams.

_________________________________

And now you've come back
to say she's vanished?

_________________________________

Kidnapped, Mother.
She's been kidnapped.
_________________________________

-You're joking.

-Tabitha.
_________________________________

Look, Father, please delay
the winter frost as long as you can.

_________________________________

I need time to find Thumbelina.
_________________________________

Cornelius!
_________________________________

Don't worry, Mother. I'll be back.
_________________________________

BOTH: Cornelius!
_________________________________

CORNELIUS: I'll find her!
_________________________________

Oh, my poor boy.
_________________________________

Colbert, my love,
_________________________________
we can't delay the frost
for more than a day.
_________________________________
(ANIMALS SQUAWKING)

_________________________________

Hey, bro.
_________________________________

Go away.
_________________________________

Pond talk has said
Thumbelina give you the slip...

_________________________________
and is going to marry a fairy prince.
_________________________________

What fairy prince?
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) You'll not be able to show

your ugly face on the stage no more.
_________________________________

-Everybody laugh at you.

-Nobody laugh.
_________________________________

-(BOTH LAUGHING)

-I said, nobody laughs!
_________________________________
(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

I'll go get Thumbelina
and bring her back.
_________________________________
(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

-(SPLASH)
-I marry her!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(CHATTERING)
_________________________________

_________________________________
-(CHATTER)
-(INSTRUMENTS TUNING)
_________________________________
(PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC)
_________________________________
Oh, yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
-(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
Before we get into
the second half of the programme,
_________________________________

I'd like to introduce somebody to you,
_________________________________

somebody who's very important

to Fantasia.
_________________________________

He is very shy and very retiring.
_________________________________

I just happened to run across him

one day at the Disney studios.
_________________________________

But when I did, I suddenly realized
_________________________________
that here was not only an indispensable
member of the organization,
_________________________________

but a screen personality whose

possibilities nobody around the place
_________________________________
had ever noticed.
_________________________________

And so I'm very happy to have
this opportunity to introduce to you
_________________________________

the soundtrack.
_________________________________

TAYLOR: All right. Come on.
_________________________________

That's all right. Don't be timid.
_________________________________

Atta soundtrack.
_________________________________

Now, watching him, I discovered

that every beautiful sound
_________________________________

also creates
an equally beautiful picture.
_________________________________

Now look. Will the soundtrack

kindly produces a sound?
_________________________________

Go on, don't be nervous.

Go ahead. Any sound.
_________________________________
(UNPLEASANT SOUND)
_________________________________

TAYLOR: (CHUCKLES) Well, that
isn't quite what I had in mind.
_________________________________

Suppose we hear and see the harp.
_________________________________
(MIMICS HARP)
_________________________________

TAYLOR: Now one of the strings,

say, oh, the violin.
_________________________________
(MIMICS VIOLIN)
_________________________________

TAYLOR: And now... Now,
one of the woodwinds, a flute.
_________________________________
(MIMICS FLUTE)
_________________________________

TAYLOR: Very pretty.
_________________________________

Now, let's have a brass instrument,
the trumpet.
_________________________________
(MIMICS TRUMPET)
_________________________________

TAYLOR: All right. Now, how about
a low instrument, the bassoon?
_________________________________
(MIMICS BASSOON)
_________________________________

TAYLOR: Go on. Go on.

Drop the other shoe, will you?
_________________________________
(VERY LOW NOTE)
_________________________________

TAYLOR: Well, now to finish,
_________________________________
suppose we see some of
the percussion instruments,
_________________________________

beginning with the base drum.
_________________________________
(IMITATES DRUM)
_________________________________
(CYMBALS CLASHING)
_________________________________
(IMITATES SNARE DRUM)
_________________________________
(DRUMROLL)
_________________________________
(DINGS SOFTLY)
_________________________________
(TAYLOR LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Thanks a lot, old man.
_________________________________

The symphony that Beethoven
called the "Pastoral,"
_________________________________

his sixth, is one of the few pieces
of music he ever wrote
_________________________________
that tells something like a definite story.
_________________________________

He was a great nature lover,

and in this symphony
_________________________________

he paints a musical picture

of a day in the country.
_________________________________

Now, of course,
the country that Beethoven described
_________________________________

was the countryside

with which he was familiar.
_________________________________

But his music covers
a much wider field than that,
_________________________________

so Walt Disney has given the "Pastoral
Symphony" a mythological setting.
_________________________________

And that setting is of Mount Olympus,

the abode of the gods.
_________________________________

And here, first of all,
we meet a group of fabulous creatures
_________________________________

of the field and forest,
_________________________________

unicorns, fauns, Pegasus,
the flying horse,
_________________________________

and his entire family, the centaurs,

_________________________________
those strange creatures

that are half-man and half-horse.
_________________________________

And their girlfriends, the centaur-ettes.

_________________________________

Later on, we meet our old friend,

Baccus, the god of wine,
_________________________________

presiding over a baccchanal.
_________________________________

The party is interrupted by a storm.
_________________________________

And now we see Vulcan

forging thunderbolts
_________________________________

and handing them over to the
king of all the gods, Zeus.
_________________________________

who plays darts with them.
_________________________________

As the storm clears, we see Iris,

the goddess of the rainbow.
_________________________________

and Apollo, driving
his sun chariot across the sky.
_________________________________

And then Morpheus, the god of sleep,
_________________________________

covers everything

with his cloak of night,
_________________________________

as Diana, using the new moon as a bow,
_________________________________

shoots an arrow of fire

that spangles the sky with stars.
_________________________________
(SONG BEGINS)
_________________________________
(SONG ENDS)
_________________________________

_________________________________
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious – Mary Poppins
_________________________________
_________________________________
(SINGING) It's
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________________________
Even though the sound of it
is something quite atrocious
_________________________________
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious
_________________________________
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________________________
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
_________________________________
'Cause I was afraid to speak
when I was just a lad
_________________________________
Me father gave me nose a tweak
and told me I was bad
_________________________________
But then one day I learned a word
that saved me aching nose
_________________________________
The biggest word you ever heard
and this is how it goes
_________________________________
Oh, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________________________
Even though the sound of it
is something quite atrocious
_________________________________
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious
_________________________________
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________________________
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
_________________________________
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
_________________________________
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
_________________________________
he traveled all around the world
And everywhere he went
_________________________________
He'd use his word and all would say,
"There goes a clever gent"
_________________________________
When dukes and maharajas
pass the time of day with me
_________________________________
I say me special word
and then they ask me out of tea
_________________________________
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________________________
Even though the sound of it
is something quite atrocious
_________________________________
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious
_________________________________
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________________________
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
_________________________________
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
_________________________________
You can say it backwards...
Dociousaliexpiistifragicalirupes.
_________________________________
Bit too much?
_________________________________
So when the cat has got your tongue
There's no need for dismay
_________________________________
Just summon up this word
and then you've got a lot to say
_________________________________
But better use it carefully
or it could change your life
_________________________________
For example, I said it to me girl.
_________________________________
Now me girl's me wife.
_________________________________
And a lovely thing she is.
_________________________________
She's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________________________
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
_________________________________
_________________________________
That's What Makes the World Go Round – The Sword in the Stone
_________________________________
_________________________________
Now, that gives you the forward thrust.
Now, let's get a rhythm.
_________________________________
(SINGING) Right, left, right, left
_________________________________
One, two, left and right
_________________________________
By day and night
_________________________________
That's what makes the world go round
_________________________________
In and out
Thin and stout
_________________________________
That's what makes the world go round
_________________________________
For every up there is a down
_________________________________
-For every square
-There is a round?
_________________________________
Yes.
_________________________________
-For every high
-There is a low?
_________________________________
And for every to
_________________________________
-There is a...
-Fro.
_________________________________
-Fro?
-Yes, fro.
_________________________________
To and fro, stop and go
_________________________________
That's what makes the world go round
_________________________________
In and out
Thin and stout
_________________________________
Merlin? Merlin?
_________________________________
-I swallowed a bug.
-Oh.
_________________________________
What's wrong with that?
After all, boy, you are a fish.
_________________________________
Instincts, you know.
_________________________________
But you said I had no instinct.
_________________________________
Yes. Oh.
_________________________________
Oh, I did. That's neither here nor there.
_________________________________
The main thing is, you must...
_________________________________
Set your sights upon the heights
_________________________________
Don't be a mediocrity
_________________________________
-Mediocrity?
-That's right.
_________________________________
Don't just wait and trust to fate
_________________________________
And say that's how it's meant to be
_________________________________
It's up to you how far you go
_________________________________
If you don't try you'll never know
_________________________________
And so, my lad, as I've explained
_________________________________
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
_________________________________
(MERLIN HUMMING TUNE)
_________________________________
(MERLIN GIGGLING)
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Let's... Let's swim through
that tall grass again. It tickles.
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Oh. Oh, I beg your pardon.
_________________________________
Me, too.
_________________________________
For every to there is a fro
_________________________________
For every stop there is a go
_________________________________
And that's what makes
the world go round
_________________________________
Oh, let go, let go, let go.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(ANIMALS TITTERING)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

Aw... How cute.

_________________________________

A couple of rodents

looking for a theme park.

_________________________________

Who you callin' a rodent, sister?

I'm a bunny!

_________________________________

And I'm his gopher.

_________________________________

TOGETHER: Ta-da!

_________________________________

I thought I smelled a rat.

_________________________________

HADES: Meg?

_________________________________

Speak of the devil.

_________________________________

Meg, my little flower, my little bird,

my little nut, Meg.

_________________________________

What exactly happened here?

_________________________________

I thought you were gonna

persuade the river guardian

_________________________________

to join my team for the uprising,

_________________________________

and here I am,

kind of river guardian-less.

_________________________________

I gave it my best shot,

but he made me an offer I had to refuse.

_________________________________

Fine. So, instead of subtracting

two years from your sentence,

_________________________________

hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay?

_________________________________

Give that your best shot.

_________________________________

It wasn't my fault.

It was this wonderboy, Hercules.

_________________________________

Hercules?

Why does that name ring a bell?

_________________________________

I don't know.

Maybe we owe him money?

_________________________________

-What was that name again?

-Hercules.

_________________________________

He comes on with

this big, innocent farm boy routine,

_________________________________

but I could see through that

in a Peloponnesian minute.

_________________________________

Wait a minute.

_________________________________

Wasn't Hercules the name

of that kid we were supposed to...

_________________________________

-Oh, my gods!

-Oh, my gods!

_________________________________

-Run for it!

-(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

So you took care of him, huh?

_________________________________

Dead as a door nail.

_________________________________

Weren't those your exact words?

_________________________________

This might be a different Hercules.

_________________________________

Yeah! I mean, Hercules

is a very popular name nowadays!

_________________________________

Remember, like, a few years ago,

every other boy was named Jason,

_________________________________

and the girls were all named Brittany?

_________________________________

I'm about to rearrange the cosmos,

_________________________________

and the one schlemiel who can louse

it up is waltzing around in the woods!

_________________________________

(PANTING)

_________________________________

Wait. Wait, big guy.

_________________________________

-We can still cut in on his waltzing.

-That's right!

_________________________________

And at least we made him mortal.

That's a good thing.

_________________________________

Didn't we?

_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

Fortunately for the three of you,

_________________________________

we still have time to correct

this rather egregious oversight.

_________________________________

And this time, no foul-ups.

_________________________________

_________________________________

SULTAN: Jafar, this is an outrage.

_________________________________

If it weren't for all your years

of loyal service...

_________________________________

From now on, you are to discuss

sentencing of prisoners with me,

_________________________________

before they are beheaded.

_________________________________

I assure you, Your Highness,

it won't happen again.

_________________________________

Jasmine...

_________________________________

Jafar. Let's put this whole

messy business behind us.

_________________________________

Please.

_________________________________

My most abject and humblest apologies

to you as well, Princess.

_________________________________

At least some good will come

of my being forced to marry.

_________________________________

When I am queen,

I will have the power to get rid of you.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

_________________________________

There, now. That's nice.

All settled, then.

_________________________________

Now, Jasmine, getting back

to this suitor business... Jasmine?

_________________________________

Jasmine!

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

If only I had gotten that lamp.

_________________________________

"I will have the power to get rid of you."

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

To think we gotta keep kissing up

_________________________________

to that chump and his chump daughter

_________________________________

-for the rest of our lives...

-No, Iago.

_________________________________

Only until she finds a chump husband.

_________________________________

Then she'll have us banished.

_________________________________

Or beheaded.

_________________________________

BOTH: Eww!

_________________________________

Oh. Wait a minute. Jafar.

_________________________________

What if you were the chump husband?

_________________________________

What?

_________________________________

Okay, you marry the princess, all right?

_________________________________

And, uh, then you become the sultan.

_________________________________

Oh.

_________________________________

Marry the shrew.

_________________________________

I become the sultan.

_________________________________

-The idea has merit.

-Yes, merit. Yes.

_________________________________

And then we drop papa-in-law

and the little woman off a cliff.

_________________________________

Yaaah!

_________________________________

Kersplat!

_________________________________

(WICKED LAUGHTER)

_________________________________

I love the way

your foul little mind works.

_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGH SINISTERLY)

_________________________________

_________________________________
(SINGING) The pear-shaped toad
_________________________________
(OUT OF TUNE)
_________________________________
Ooh
_________________________________
Sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
Sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
High
_________________________________
Above me
_________________________________
Oh, sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
Sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
CINDERELLA: (SINGING) High
_________________________________
Above
_________________________________
Oh, sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
Sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
High
_________________________________
Oh, sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
Sing, sweet
_________________________________
Nightingale
_________________________________
Oh, sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
Sing, sweet
_________________________________
Oh, sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
Sing
_________________________________
Oh, sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
Oh, sing, sweet
_________________________________
Oh
_________________________________
Sing
_________________________________
Oh! Oh, Lucifer!
_________________________________
You mean old thing.
_________________________________
I'm just going to have to
teach you a lesson.
_________________________________
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
_________________________________
Open in the name of the King.
_________________________________
An urgent message
from His Imperial Majesty.
_________________________________
-Thank you.
-JAQ: From the King!
_________________________________
What's it say, Cinderelly?
_________________________________
What's it say, huh?
_________________________________
I don't know.
_________________________________
He said it's urgent.
_________________________________
DRIZELLA: Ohhh
_________________________________
Maybe I should interrupt
the, uh, music lesson.
_________________________________
Sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
Sing, sweet nightingale
_________________________________
High
_________________________________
High
_________________________________
You clumsy! You did it on purpose.
_________________________________
-DRIZELLA: It's her fault.
-Girls, girls. Remember,
_________________________________

above all, self-control.
_________________________________
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
_________________________________

Yes!

_________________________________
Cinderella!
I've warned you never to interrupt...
_________________________________
-This just arrived from the palace.
-BOTH: From the palace!
_________________________________
-Give it here.
-Let me have it.
_________________________________
-(SHRIEKING)
-I'll read it.
_________________________________
Well, there's to be a ball.
_________________________________
-BOTH: A ball!
-In honor of His Highness, the Prince.
_________________________________
BOTH: Oh, the Prince!
_________________________________
And, by royal command,
_________________________________
every eligible maiden is to attend.
_________________________________
Why, that's us!
-And I'm so eligible.
_________________________________
-That means I can go, too.
-DRIZELLA: Ha!
_________________________________
Her, dancing with the Prince. (LAUGHS)
_________________________________
(MOCKING) I'd be honored,
Your Highness.
_________________________________
Would you mind holding my broom?
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Well, why not?
_________________________________
After all, I'm still a member of the family.
_________________________________
And it says, "By royal command,
_________________________________
"every eligible maiden is to attend."
_________________________________
Yes, so it does.
_________________________________
Well, I see no reason why you can't go.
_________________________________
If you get all your work done.
_________________________________
Oh, I will. I promise.
_________________________________
And if you can find
something suitable to wear.
_________________________________
I'm sure I can.
Oh, thank you, Stepmother.
_________________________________

Mother, do you realize
what you just said?
_________________________________

Of course.
_________________________________

I said "if."
_________________________________

Oh. "If."
_________________________________
(SNICKERS)
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

_________________________________

Just imagine, real live mermaids.

_________________________________

-Would you like to meet 'em?

-Oh, Peter, I'd love to.

_________________________________

All right, come on.

_________________________________

(PLAYING PANPIPES)

_________________________________

-It's Peter.

-BOTH: Oh!

_________________________________

Hello, Peter!

_________________________________

Hello, Peter!

_________________________________

Hello, Peter!

_________________________________

Hello, girls.

_________________________________

MERMAID 1: I'm so glad to see you.

_________________________________

Why did you stay away so long?

Did you miss me?

_________________________________

-Tell us one of your adventures.

-MERMAID 2: Something exciting.

_________________________________

Want to hear about the time

I cut off Hook's hand?

_________________________________

-Oh, I've always liked that one.

-Me too.

_________________________________

There I was on

Marooner's Rock surrounded...

_________________________________

-Oh, Peter!

-Who's she?

_________________________________

Huh? Her? Oh, that's Wendy.

_________________________________

-A girl?

-What's she doing here?

_________________________________

And in her nightdress too.

_________________________________

Come on, dearie. Join us for a swim.

_________________________________

-I'm not dressed for it.

-But you must!

_________________________________

-We insist!

-No, please!

_________________________________

-MERMAID 3: Too good for us, eh?

-Peter!

_________________________________

-If you dare to come near me again...

-Wendy! Wendy!

_________________________________

They were just having

a little fun, weren't you?

_________________________________

-That's all.

-We were only trying to drown her.

_________________________________

-Ya see?

-Well, if you think for one minute

_________________________________

that I'm going to put up with a...

_________________________________

Shh. Hold it, Wendy.

_________________________________

Yep, it's Hook.

_________________________________

-Hook!

-Hook!

_________________________________

Hook! Oh!

_________________________________

Quick, Wendy.

_________________________________

PETER: They've captured Tiger Lily.

_________________________________

(TICKING)

_________________________________

Looks like they're headin'

for Skull Rock. Come on, Wendy.

_________________________________

Let's see what they're up to.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(SINGING) A, E, I O, U
_________________________________

O, U, E, I, O, A
_________________________________

U, E, I, A
_________________________________

A, E, I, O, U
_________________________________

Who are you?
_________________________________

Well, I... I hardly know, sir.

_________________________________

I've changed so many times, you see.
_________________________________

I do not see.

_________________________________

-Explain yourself.
-I'm afraid I can't explain myself.
_________________________________

-Because I'm not myself, you know.
-I do not know.
_________________________________

I can't put it any more clearly,
for it isn't clear to me.

_________________________________

You? Who are you?
_________________________________

Well, don't you think you
ought to tell me...
_________________________________

(COUGHS) ...who you are first?
_________________________________

Why?
_________________________________

Oh, dear. Everything is so confusing.

_________________________________
-It is not.
-ALICE: Well, it is to me.
_________________________________

-Why?
-I can't remember things as I used to.
_________________________________

Recite.

_________________________________

Hmm? Oh, yes, sir. Erm...

_________________________________

How doth the little busy bee
improve each...

_________________________________
CATERPILLAR: Stop!
_________________________________

That is not spoken correcitally. It goes:

_________________________________

How...

_________________________________

(GIGGLES)

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

How doth the little crocodile
improve his shining tail
_________________________________

And pour the waters of the Nile
on every golden scale?
_________________________________

How cheer...
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

(ALICE GIGGLES)
_________________________________

How cheerfully he seems to grin.

_________________________________

How neatly spreads his claws.

_________________________________

And welcomes little fishes in.
_________________________________

With gently smiling jaws.
_________________________________

I've never heard it that way before.

_________________________________

I know. I have improved it.

_________________________________

Well... (COUGHS)
_________________________________

-If you ask me...
-You?
_________________________________

Who are you?
_________________________________

(COUGHS)
_________________________________

(SNEEZES)
_________________________________

(HARRUMPHS)
_________________________________

You, there. Girl.
_________________________________

Wait. Come back.
_________________________________

I have something important to say.
_________________________________

Oh, dear.

_________________________________

I wonder what he wants now.

_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

Well?
_________________________________

Keep your temper.

_________________________________

-Is that all?

-No.

_________________________________

Exatically what is your problem?
_________________________________

It's exatically... Exat... It's precisely this.

_________________________________

I should like to be a little larger, sir.
_________________________________

Why?
_________________________________

After all, three inches is such
a wretched height.
_________________________________

I am exatically three inches high
_________________________________

and it is a very good height indeed!
_________________________________

But I'm not used to it,
and you needn't... Shout!
_________________________________

Oh, dear.

_________________________________
CATERPILLAR: By the way,
I have a few more helpful hints.
_________________________________

-One side will make you grow taller.

-One side of what?
_________________________________

And the other side
will make you grow shorter.

_________________________________

-The other side of what?
-The mushroom, of course!
_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

One side will make me grow...

_________________________________

But which is which?
_________________________________

After all that's happened, I...
I wonder if I...

_________________________________

I don't care.

_________________________________

I'm tired of being only three inches high.

_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________
(BIRD SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

A serpent!
_________________________________

Help! Serpent! Serpent!
_________________________________

-But, please, please.
-Off with you. Shoo. Go away. Serpent!
_________________________________
Serpent!
_________________________________

But I'm not a serpent.
_________________________________

Indeed? Then just what are you?
_________________________________

-I'm just a little girl.
-Little? Little?
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Well, I am. I mean, I was.

_________________________________

And I suppose you don't eat eggs, either.

_________________________________

-Yes, I do.
-I knew it. I knew it.
_________________________________

Serpent. Serpent!
_________________________________

For goodness' sake.
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________
-And the other side will...
-The very idea.
_________________________________
Spend all my time laying eggs
for serpents like her.
_________________________________

(BIRD SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Goodness. I wonder if I'll ever
get the knack of it.

_________________________________

There. That's much better.

_________________________________

Better save these.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(THUMBELINA HUMMING,
CHUCKLING)
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________
Look out!
_________________________________

-Aha!

-(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(CACKLES)
_________________________________

Hiya, toots! Beetle's my name,
_________________________________

and razzmatazz is my game.
_________________________________

How do you do? How you feeling?
Everything okay?
_________________________________

I'm not your toots.

Where do you come from?
_________________________________

Where? Up there. I'm a connoisseur
of sweet nectars,
_________________________________

a designer of rare threads...

_________________________________
and a judge of beautiful women.

_________________________________
And you are beautiful, Miss, um...
_________________________________

Uh, Thumbelina. And I'm going home.
_________________________________

What's your hurry, toots?
_________________________________

Relax. Take a load off.
_________________________________

Oh, I wish you wouldn't do that.
_________________________________

Perhaps you'd prefer this?

_________________________________
-(KISSING)

-Oh! Mr. Beetle!
_________________________________
I don't even know you! Would you stop!

_________________________________

Stop? How can I stop?

I'm crazy about you, toots.
_________________________________
-(GIGGLES) Stop!
-You're gorgeous!

_________________________________
-(CHUCKLES)
-Ooh. You're exciting. Ooh. Delicious!
_________________________________

-I am?

-And I love the sound of your voice.

_________________________________
-My voice?

-Don't talk. Sing. Sing to me.
_________________________________
Hmm.

_________________________________
(SINGING) I have an idea
_________________________________

Can you fly me up there?

_________________________________
MR. BEETLE: Um, why should I, toots?
_________________________________

Well, from the treetops
I could see my house.

_________________________________
Then I'd know if I'm traveling

in the right direction to get home.

_________________________________
Ah, gee. I don't know.
_________________________________
That would be
a big, big, oh, very big favor.

_________________________________

I'll sing
_________________________________
I'll sing for you

_________________________________
No, no. You'll sing
at the beetle ball... And dance.

_________________________________
-(THUMBELINA GASPS)
-(MR. BEETLE CACKLES)
_________________________________

We are gonna be

the talk of the town, toots.
_________________________________

I'm not your toots!
_________________________________

And I don't even look like a beetle!
_________________________________

BABY BUG: Come on. Let's get help.
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRA PLAYS "FANFARE")
_________________________________
(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________
(DRUMS BEATING)

_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlebugs

Berkley Beetle proudly presents...
_________________________________
Thumbelina!

_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
(FUNKY MUSIC)
_________________________________
(SINGING) Baby, it's the beetle ball

_________________________________
And bugs are crawlin' to get in

_________________________________
When they hear that beetle beat
_________________________________

Those beetle feet'll start to spin

_________________________________
And how they'll cheer

_________________________________
For you, my dear

_________________________________
You're beautiful, baby

_________________________________
(CHEERING)
_________________________________

Oh, my little butterfly

_________________________________
-You flutter by, and there's romance

-Wah, wah, wah
_________________________________
Every chance to dance with you

_________________________________
Puts the ants back in my pants
_________________________________
Wow, wow!
_________________________________

Let's cut a rug
_________________________________

My ladybug

_________________________________
You're beautiful, baby
_________________________________
(CHEERING)
_________________________________

I get a burst when I have you
on my wing

_________________________________
You tie my antennae in a knot

_________________________________
Now the room's reelin'

_________________________________
And I'm feelin'
_________________________________
So ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho...

_________________________________
Hot to trot

_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING, WHISTLING)
_________________________________
Let's dance, baby!
_________________________________

-Isn't she beautiful?

-Just adorable, darling.
_________________________________

What a piece of work.
Will you look at her!
_________________________________
Hmph!

_________________________________

Okay, toots. Let's wing it!
_________________________________

I... I can't wing it.
_________________________________

I don't have any wings! I'm getting dizzy!
_________________________________

BOTH: Ew!
_________________________________
ALL: Ew!
_________________________________

(CROWD LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

_________________________________
Hee-hee-hee-hee, ho-ho-ho-ho

_________________________________
She, she, she, she's

so, so, so, so

_________________________________
Hey, that bug is a dog

_________________________________
-WOMAN 1: My, my!

-Unattractive.
_________________________________

The word, my dear, is ugly.
_________________________________

MAN 1: She's so ugly,
she's hurting my feelers.
_________________________________

-(GASPS)
-I hope it ain't catching.

_________________________________
MAN 2: Disgraceful.

_________________________________
Would you look at that

She ain't got no wings

_________________________________
Good gracious me

What are those things?

_________________________________
-She ain't got no feelers

-No feelers

_________________________________
-She ain't got no shell

-Do tell

_________________________________
She's got scrawny legs
and knobby knees

_________________________________
For all we know, the gal's got fleas

_________________________________
She can't even fly

No, that won't do

_________________________________
So say goodbye

She's not for you

_________________________________
I'm sorry, toots
I guess you're too
_________________________________
Too ugly
_________________________________
-(GRUNTS)
-(CROWD LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Don't worry. You'll get over me.
_________________________________

I'm ugly? Hmm.
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________
Hey, wait for me!
_________________________________

Hurry up. Thumbelina needs help.
_________________________________
(GROWLING, LAUGHS)
_________________________________

(ALL SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Do I hear one of you say

Thumbelina needs help?
_________________________________

-GNATTY: Yes.

-Gnatty!
_________________________________

The beetle took her
and flew way up there.
_________________________________

Shh. Be quiet.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________
The beetle?
_________________________________
(SPITS) I want her back!
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Come on. Let's go!
_________________________________

You big ugly wart face!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________
Now we see about this beetle.
_________________________________

JACQUIMO: (SINGING)

You're sure to do impossible things

_________________________________
If you follow your heart

_________________________________
You're sure to fly on magical wings

_________________________________
If you follow your heart

_________________________________
(WINGS FLAPPING)
_________________________________
(GASPS) Why,
what is the matter, Thumbelina?
_________________________________

(SNIFFLES) I'm cold,
_________________________________
I'm lost and... I'm hungry.
_________________________________

And the beetle says I'm ugly.
_________________________________

The beetle? (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

-You love the beetle?

-No.
_________________________________

Then never mind the beetle.
_________________________________

Good riddance to the beetle

and good riddance to the toad.
_________________________________
(BLOWS)
_________________________________

Does Prince Cornelius
think you are ugly?
_________________________________

(SNIFFLES) No,
_________________________________
He thinks I'm beautiful.
_________________________________

Hmm. And so you are, mon amie. Look.
_________________________________
(EXHALES)
_________________________________

I'm going home. (SIGHS)
_________________________________

-Jacquimo.

-Hmm?
_________________________________

Will you find the Vale of the Fairies?
_________________________________

I promise.
_________________________________

(YAWNS) I promise.
_________________________________
But now we must sleep.
_________________________________

(SNIFFS) Bonne nuit.
_________________________________
Bonne nuit, Thumbelina. (YAWNING)
_________________________________

Thank you, Jacquimo. Thank you.
_________________________________
(JACQUIMO YAWNS)
_________________________________
Tomorrow is a new day,
_________________________________

and I will go to the forest...
_________________________________
and see if I can find
your Prince Cornelius, hmm?

_________________________________

_________________________________

(SOBBING)

_________________________________

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

_________________________________

-Who is it?

-Mrs. Potts, dear.

_________________________________

-I thought you might like a spot of tea.

-(GASPS)

_________________________________

But you're... You're a...

_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-Oh!

_________________________________

-Careful.

-This is impossible.

_________________________________

I know it is, but here we are.

_________________________________

I told you she was pretty, Mama,

didn't I?

_________________________________

All right, Chip, now, that'll do.

Slowly now. Don't spill.

_________________________________

Thank you.

_________________________________

Wanna see me do a trick?

_________________________________

(INHALES)

_________________________________

-MRS. POTTS: Chip!

-(GIGGLES) Oops! Sorry.

_________________________________

That was a very brave thing

you did, my dear.

_________________________________

We all think so.

_________________________________

But I've lost my father,

my dreams, everything.

_________________________________

Cheer up, child.

It'll turn out all right in the end.

_________________________________

You'll see.

_________________________________

Oh, listen to me jabbering on

_________________________________

while there's a supper

to get on the table.

_________________________________

Chip?

_________________________________

Bye.

_________________________________

Well, now,

what shall we dress you in for dinner?

_________________________________

Oh, let's see what I got in my drawers.

_________________________________

Oh, how embarrassing! (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT) Ah, here we are.

You'll look ravishing in this one.

_________________________________

That's very kind of you,

but I'm not going to dinner.

_________________________________

(GASPS) But you must.

_________________________________

Ahem, ahem, ahem.

_________________________________

Dinner is served.

_________________________________

What's taking so long?

_________________________________

I told her to come down.

_________________________________

-Why isn't she here yet?

-Try to be patient, sir.

_________________________________

The girl has lost her father

and her freedom all in one day.

_________________________________

Master, have you thought

_________________________________

that perhaps this girl could be the one

to break the spell?

_________________________________

Of course I have! I'm not a fool.

_________________________________

Good! So, you fall in love with her,

_________________________________

she falls in love with you, and poof!

The spell is broken.

_________________________________

We'll be human again by midnight.

_________________________________

It's not that easy, Lumiere.

These things take time.

_________________________________

But the rose has already begun to wilt.

_________________________________

Oh, it's no use.

_________________________________

She's so beautiful and I'm...

_________________________________

Well, look at me!

_________________________________

You must help her to see past all that.

_________________________________

I don't know how.

_________________________________

Well, you can start

by making yourself more presentable.

_________________________________

Straighten up.

Try to act like a gentleman.

_________________________________

Yes. When she comes in,

give her a dashing, debonair smile.

_________________________________

Come, come, show me the smile.

_________________________________

-But don't frighten the poor girl.

-Impress her with your rapier wit.

_________________________________

But be gentle.

_________________________________

-Shower her with compliments.

-But be sincere.

_________________________________

And above all,

_________________________________

-you must control your temper!

-You must control your temper!

_________________________________

LUMIERE: Here she is!

_________________________________

Good evening.

_________________________________

-Well, where is she?

-Who?

_________________________________

Oh! (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

The girl, yes. The girl.

_________________________________

Well, actually, she's in the process of...

_________________________________

Circumstances being what they are...

She's not coming.

_________________________________

BEAST: What?

_________________________________

Oh, dear. Your Grace! Your Eminence!

_________________________________

Let's not be hasty!

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

I thought I told you

to come down to dinner!

_________________________________

BELLE: I'm not hungry.

_________________________________

You'll come out or I'll... I'll...

I'll break down the door!

_________________________________

Master, I could be wrong,

_________________________________

but that may not be the best way

to win the girl's affections.

_________________________________

Please attempt to be a gentleman.

_________________________________

But she is being so difficult.

_________________________________

Gently, gently.

_________________________________

-Will you come down to dinner?

-BELLE: No!

_________________________________

-Hmm?

-Eh-eh.

_________________________________

Suave, genteel.

_________________________________

It would give me great pleasure

_________________________________

if you would join me for dinner.

_________________________________

And we say "please."

_________________________________

-Please.

-No, thank you.

_________________________________

-You can't stay in there forever!

-Yes, I can.

_________________________________

Fine! Then go ahead and starve!

_________________________________

If she doesn't eat with me,

then she doesn't eat at all!

_________________________________

(DOOR SLAMS)

_________________________________

Oh, dear.

That didn't go very well at all, did it?

_________________________________

Lumiere, stand watch at the door

_________________________________

and inform me at once

if there is the slightest change.

_________________________________

You can count on me, mon capitaine.

_________________________________

Well, we might as well go downstairs

and start cleaning up.

_________________________________

I ask nicely, but she refuses.

_________________________________

What does she want me to do, beg?

_________________________________

Show me the girl.

_________________________________

But the master's really not so bad,

once you get to know him.

_________________________________

Why don't you give him a chance?

_________________________________

I don't want to get to know him.

_________________________________

I don't want to have anything

to do with him.

_________________________________

I'm just fooling myself.

_________________________________

She'll never see me as anything

_________________________________

but a monster.

_________________________________

It's hopeless.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: Owl talked

from page 41 to page 62.

_________________________________

On page 62, the blustery day

turned into a blustery night.

_________________________________
To Pooh, it was a very
anxious sort of night,

_________________________________
filled with anxious sorts of noises.

_________________________________
One of the noises was a sound

that had never been heard before.

_________________________________
(GROWLS)
_________________________________
Ah, is that you, Piglet?
_________________________________
(GROWLS)
_________________________________

Well, tell me about it tomorrow...
Eeyore?
_________________________________
(GROWLS)
_________________________________

Oh, come in, Christopher Robin.
_________________________________
(BANGING ON DOOR)

_________________________________

NARRATOR: Now, Pooh, being a bear

of very little brain,

_________________________________

decided to invite the new sound in.

_________________________________
Hello, out there.
_________________________________

Oh, I hope nobody answers.
_________________________________
(GROWLS)
_________________________________

Hello, I'm Tigger!
_________________________________

Oh, ha, ha.
_________________________________
-You scared me.

-Sure I did. (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Everyone's scared of tiggers.
_________________________________

-Who are you?

-I'm Pooh.
_________________________________

Oh, a Pooh, sure.
_________________________________

-What's a Pooh?

-You're sitting on one.
_________________________________

I am?
_________________________________
Oh, well, glad to meet ya.

Name's Tigger.
_________________________________

T, I, double "guh," err.
_________________________________

That spells "Tigger."
_________________________________

But what is a tigger?
_________________________________

Well, he asked for it.
_________________________________
Oh, hoo-hoo-hoo!
_________________________________

(SINGING)
The wonderful thing about tiggers
_________________________________

is tiggers are wonderful things
_________________________________

Their tops are made out of rubber

their bottoms are made out of springs
_________________________________

They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy

pouncy fun, fun, fun, fun, fun
_________________________________

But the most wonderful thing

about tiggers is I'm the only one
_________________________________

I'm the only one

_________________________________
(PURRING)
_________________________________
Then what's that over there?
_________________________________

Huh? Oh, hey, hey, look, look, look.
_________________________________

Oh, what a strange looking creature.
_________________________________
Hmm.
_________________________________

Look at those beady little eyes,
_________________________________

and that pur-posti-rus chin,
_________________________________

and those ricky-diculus

striped pajamas.
_________________________________

Looked like another tigger to me.
_________________________________

Oh, no, it's not! I'm the only tigger.
_________________________________

Watch me scare the stripes

off of this impostor.
_________________________________
(GROWLS)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________

Is he gone?
_________________________________

All except the tail.
_________________________________

He's gone.
_________________________________

You can come out now, Tigger.
_________________________________

Tigger?
_________________________________

-Hello, I'm Tigger.

-You said that.
_________________________________

Oh, well, did I say I was hungry?
_________________________________

-I don't think so.

-Well, then l'll say it.
_________________________________

I'm hungry!

_________________________________

POOH: Oh, not for honey, I hope.

_________________________________

Honey! Oh, boy, honey!
_________________________________

That's what tiggers like best.
_________________________________

I was afraid of that.
_________________________________

Mmm... Oh, say... Mmm...
_________________________________

Yuck!
_________________________________
Tiggers don't like honey!
_________________________________

But you said...
_________________________________

That icky, sticky stuff
is only fit for heffalumps and woozles.

_________________________________
You mean elephants and weasels.
_________________________________

That's what I said.

Heffalumps and woozles.
_________________________________

Well, what do heffa... Halla...

What do they do?
_________________________________

-Oh, nothing much. Just steal honey.

-Steal honey?
_________________________________

They sure do. Well, I'd better
be bouncing along now, chum.
_________________________________
Cheerio! Hoo, hoo, hoo!

_________________________________

The wonderful thing about tiggers

is tiggers are wonderful things
_________________________________

Their tops are made out of rubber

their bottoms are made out of springs
_________________________________

They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy,

pouncy fun, fun, fun, fun, fun
_________________________________

But the most wonderful thing

about tiggers is I'm the only one
_________________________________

I'm the only one

_________________________________

NARRATOR: Well, if what Tigger

said was true,

_________________________________

and there really were

heffalumps and woozles about,
_________________________________

there was only one thing to do.
_________________________________

Take drastic precautions

to protect his precious honey.

_________________________________
Oh, hello.
_________________________________

Am I glad to see you!
_________________________________

It's more friendly with two.
_________________________________

Now, you go that way,

and l'll go this way.
_________________________________

You didn't see anything, did you?
_________________________________

Neither did I.
_________________________________
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

_________________________________

NARRATOR: Now, the very blustery

night turned into a very rainy night,

_________________________________

and Pooh kept his lonely vigil,
_________________________________

hour after hour after hour.

_________________________________
Until, at last,
_________________________________

Pooh fell fast asleep

and began to dream.

_________________________________

GHOSTLY VOICE:

Heffalumps and woozles.

_________________________________

Heffalumps and woozles steal honey.

_________________________________
Beware. Beware.

_________________________________
(SINGING) They're black, they're brown

they're up, they're down
_________________________________

They're in, they're out

They're all about
_________________________________

They're far, they're near

they're gone, they're here
_________________________________

They're quick and slick

they're insincere
_________________________________

Beware, beware

Be a very wary bear
_________________________________

A heffalump or woozle

is very confusil
_________________________________

A heffalump or woozle's

very sly, sly, sly
_________________________________

They come in ones and twosles
_________________________________

But if they so choosles
_________________________________

Before your eyes
you'll see them multiply
_________________________________
Ply, ply, ply
_________________________________

They're extraordinary

So better be wary
_________________________________

Because they come
in every shape and size
_________________________________
Size, size, size
_________________________________

If honey's what you covet

You'll find that they love it
_________________________________

Because they guzzle up

the thing you prize
_________________________________

They're green, they're blue

they're pink, they're white
_________________________________

They're round, they're square

they're a terrible sight
_________________________________

They tie themselves in horrible knots

They come in stripes or polka dots

_________________________________

Beware, beware

Be a very wary bear
_________________________________
(PLAYING A TUNE)
_________________________________
(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________
-(SQUEAK)
-(BOING)
_________________________________
(BOING)
_________________________________
(GIGGLING)
_________________________________
(EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

They're extraordinary

So better be wary
_________________________________

Because they come in
every shape and size
_________________________________
Size, size, size
_________________________________

If honey's what you covet

You'll find that they love it
_________________________________

Because they'll guzzle up

the things you prize
_________________________________
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
_________________________________

They're black, they're brown

they're up, they're down
_________________________________

They're in, they're out

they're all about
_________________________________

They're far, they're near

they're gone, they're here
_________________________________

They're quick and slick

they're insincere
_________________________________

Beware, beware
Beware, beware
_________________________________

Beware

_________________________________

_________________________________

Poor child. Poor, sweet child.

_________________________________

She has a very serious problem.

_________________________________

If only there were

something we could do.

_________________________________

But there is something.

_________________________________

Who... Who are you?

_________________________________

Don't be scared.

_________________________________

We represent someone
who can help you.

_________________________________

Someone who can make

all your dreams come true.

_________________________________

BOTH: Just imagine...

_________________________________

You and your prince...

_________________________________

BOTH: Together forever.

_________________________________
I don't understand.

_________________________________

Ursula has great powers.

_________________________________

(GASPS) The sea witch?

_________________________________

Why, that's... I couldn't possibly.

_________________________________

No! Get out of here. Leave me alone!

_________________________________

Suit yourself.

_________________________________

That was only a suggestion.

_________________________________

Wait.

_________________________________

BOTH: Yes?

_________________________________

-(SNIFFLES) Poor Ariel.

-I didn't mean to tell.

_________________________________

It was an accident. (MUTTERS)

_________________________________

Ariel? Where are you going?

_________________________________

Ariel, what are you doing here

with this riffraff?

_________________________________

I'm going to see Ursula.

_________________________________

(GASPS) Ariel, no! No!

She's a demon. She's a monster.

_________________________________

Why don't you go tell my father?

You're good at that.

_________________________________

But... But, I...
_________________________________
Come on!

_________________________________

BOTH: This way.

_________________________________

(CREATURES MOAN)

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

(PANTS)

_________________________________
URSULA: Come in. Come in, my child.

_________________________________

We mustn't lurk in doorways. It's rude.

_________________________________

One might question

your upbringing. (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Now, then, you're here

_________________________________

because you have a thing
for this human, this prince fellow.

_________________________________

Not that I blame you.

He is quite a catch, isn't he?
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Well, angelfish,

_________________________________

the solution to your problem is simple.

_________________________________

The only way to get what you want

_________________________________

is to become a human yourself.

_________________________________

(GASPS) Can you do that?

_________________________________

My dear, sweet child. That's what I do.

_________________________________

It's what I live for.

_________________________________

To help unfortunate merfolk,

like yourself,

_________________________________

poor souls with no one else to turn to.

_________________________________

(SINGING) I admit that in the past

I've been a nasty

_________________________________

They weren't kidding when

they called me, well, a witch

_________________________________

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

_________________________________

Repented, seen the light

and made a switch

_________________________________

True? Yes.

_________________________________

And I fortunately know a little magic

_________________________________

It's a talent that

I always have possessed

_________________________________

And here lately, please don't laugh,
I use it on behalf

_________________________________

Of the miserable, lonely and depressed

_________________________________

Pathetic.

_________________________________

Poor unfortunate souls

_________________________________

In pain, in need

_________________________________

This one longing to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl

_________________________________

And do I help them?
Yes, indeed

_________________________________

Those poor, unfortunate souls

_________________________________
So sad, so true

_________________________________

They come flocking to my cauldron

Crying spells, Ursula, please

_________________________________

And I help them

Yes, I do

_________________________________

Now it's happened once or twice

_________________________________

Someone couldn't pay the price

_________________________________

And I'm afraid I had to

rake 'em across the coals

_________________________________

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

_________________________________

But on the whole I've been a saint

_________________________________

To those poor unfortunate souls

_________________________________

Now, here's the deal.

_________________________________

I will make you a potion that will turn
you into a human for three days.

_________________________________

Got that? Three days.

_________________________________

Now, listen, this is important.

_________________________________

Before the sun sets on the third day,

_________________________________

you've got to get
dear old princie to fall in love with you.

_________________________________

That is, he's got to kiss you.

_________________________________

Not just any kiss, the kiss of true love.

_________________________________

If he does kiss you
before the sun sets on the third day,

_________________________________

you'll remain human permanently.

_________________________________

But if he doesn't,
you'll turn back into a mermaid,

_________________________________

and you belong to me!

_________________________________

No, Ariel! (MUFFLED)

_________________________________

Have we got a deal?

_________________________________

If I become human,

_________________________________

I'll never be with

my father or sisters again.

_________________________________

That's right!

_________________________________

But you'll have your man.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Life's full
of tough choices, isn't it?

_________________________________

(CACKLES)

_________________________________

Oh! And there is one more thing.

_________________________________

We haven't discussed

the subject of payment.

_________________________________

You can't get something
for nothing, you know.

_________________________________

-But I don't have any...

-I'm not asking much.

_________________________________

Just a token really, a trifle.

You'll never even miss it.

_________________________________

What I want from you is
_________________________________
your voice.

_________________________________

-My voice?

-You've got it, sweetcakes.

_________________________________

No more talking, singing. Zip!

_________________________________

But without my voice, how can I...

_________________________________

You'll have your looks, your pretty face.

_________________________________

And don't underestimate the

importance of body language!

_________________________________

Ha!

_________________________________

(SINGING) The men up there

don't like a lot of blabber

_________________________________

They think a girl who gossips is a bore

_________________________________

Yes, on land it's much preferred

for ladies not to say a word

_________________________________

And, after all, dear

What is idle prattle for?

_________________________________

Come on, they're not all that

impressed with conversation

_________________________________

True gentlemen avoid it when they can

_________________________________

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On a lady who's withdrawn

_________________________________

It's she who holds her tongue

who gets her man

_________________________________

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul

_________________________________

Go ahead, make your choice

_________________________________

I'm a very busy woman
and I haven't got all day

_________________________________

It won't cost much, just your voice

_________________________________

Ya poor, unfortunate soul

_________________________________

It's sad, but true

_________________________________

If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
you've got to pay the toll

_________________________________

Take a gulp and take a breath

and go ahead and sign the scroll

_________________________________

Flotsam, Jetsam

Now I've got her, boys

_________________________________

The boss is on a roll

_________________________________

This poor, unfortunate soul

_________________________________

Beluga, sevruga

_________________________________

Come, winds of the Caspian Sea

_________________________________

Larynxis, glossitis

Et max laryngitis

_________________________________

La voce to me

_________________________________

Now, sing!

_________________________________

(VOCALIZES)

_________________________________

Keep singing!

_________________________________

(VOCALIZING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

(CACKLES)

_________________________________

_________________________________

Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet

for all your travel needs.

_________________________________

Don't stand until the rug

has come to a complete stop.

_________________________________

Thank you. Goodbye now.

Good-bye. Thank you.

_________________________________

Well, how about that,

Mr. Doubting Mustafa?

_________________________________

Oh, you sure showed me.

Now, about my three wishes.

_________________________________

Dost mine ears deceive me?

_________________________________

Three? You are down by one, boy.

_________________________________

Ah, no. I never actually wished

to get out of the cave.

_________________________________

You did that on your own.

_________________________________

Well, I feel sheepish.

_________________________________

All right, you bad boy,

but no more freebies.

_________________________________

Fair deal. So, three wishes.

_________________________________

I want them to be good.

_________________________________

What would you wish for?

_________________________________

Me?

_________________________________

No one's ever asked me that before.

_________________________________

Well, in my case... Ah, forget it.

_________________________________

-What?

-No, I can't. I...

_________________________________

Come on. Tell me.

_________________________________

Freedom.

_________________________________

You're a prisoner?

_________________________________

It's all part and parcel

of the whole genie gig.

_________________________________

Phenomenal cosmic powers...

_________________________________

Itty bitty living space.

_________________________________

Genie, that's terrible.

_________________________________

But, oh, to be free...

_________________________________

Not have to go,

"Poof. What do you need?

_________________________________

"Poof. What do you need?

Poof. What do you need?"

_________________________________

To be my own master.

_________________________________

Such a thing would be greater

than all the magic

_________________________________

and all the treasures in all the world.

_________________________________

But what am I talking about?

_________________________________

Let's get real here.

It's not gonna happen.

_________________________________

Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.

_________________________________

Why not?

_________________________________

The only way I get outta this

is if my master wishes me out.

_________________________________

So you can guess how often

that's happened.

_________________________________

I'll do it. I'll set you free.

_________________________________

-Uh-huh, yeah, right.

-No, really, I promise.

_________________________________

After I make my first two wishes,

_________________________________

I'll use my third wish to set you free.

_________________________________

Well, here's hopin'. All right.

_________________________________

Let's make some magic.

_________________________________

So how 'bout it?

What is it you want most?

_________________________________

Well, there's this girl.

_________________________________

Wrong.

_________________________________

I can't make anybody

fall in love, remember?

_________________________________

Oh, but, Genie,

she's smart and fun and...

_________________________________

-Pretty?

-Beautiful.

_________________________________

She's got these eyes that just...

And this hair. Wow.

_________________________________

And her smile... (SIGHS)

_________________________________

Ami.

_________________________________

C'est l'amour.

_________________________________

But she's the princess.

_________________________________

To even have a chance, I'd have to be...

_________________________________

Hey, can you make me a prince?

_________________________________

Let's see here.

_________________________________

Chicken à la king? Nope.

_________________________________

Alaskan king crab.

Ow. I hate it when they do that.

_________________________________

Caesar salad. Ah! Et tu, Brute? No.

_________________________________

Aha. "To make a prince."

_________________________________

Is that an official wish?

Say the magic words.

_________________________________

Genie, I wish for you

to make me a prince.

_________________________________

All right!

_________________________________

Yo, yo! Woof! Woof!

_________________________________

First, that fez-and-vest combo

is much too third century.

_________________________________

These patches.

What are we trying to say, beggar?

_________________________________

No. Let's work with me here.

_________________________________

Ooh. I like it. Muy macho.

_________________________________

Now, it still needs something.

What does it say to me?

_________________________________

It says mode of transportation.

_________________________________

Excuse me, monkey boy.

Aquí. Over here.

_________________________________

-Uh-oh.

-GENIE: Here he comes.

_________________________________

What better way to make your

entrance on the streets of Agrabah

_________________________________

than riding

your very own, brand-new camel?

_________________________________

Watch out. They spit.

_________________________________

Mmm. Not enough.

_________________________________

Still not enough.

Let's see. What do you need?

_________________________________

Yes!

_________________________________

Esalalumbo shimin Dumbo.

_________________________________

-Whoa!

-(TRUMPETS)

_________________________________

Talk about your trunk space.

Check this action out.

_________________________________

(TRUMPETS)

_________________________________

(FRIGHTENED MONKEY NOISES)

_________________________________

Abu, you look good.

_________________________________

GENIE: He's got the outfit.

He's got the elephant.

_________________________________

But we're not through yet.

_________________________________

Hang on to your turban, kid.

We're gonna make you a star.

_________________________________

_________________________________
Tinker Bell's Tinkering Talents
_________________________________
_________________________________
(BUZZING)
_________________________________
ROSETTA: Okay, okay, now stop.
_________________________________
Hey, hey, hey. Where are you going?
_________________________________
Now, you stay put.
_________________________________
-Have you seen her?
-Afraid not, Orange Blossom.
_________________________________
Clank and Bobble
haven't seen her either.
_________________________________
-Hey! Have you guys seen...
-ALL: No.
_________________________________
I hope Tink's not too mad at us.
_________________________________
Tink can't change her talent.
_________________________________
IRIDESSA: If she's still angry,
she only has herself to blame.
_________________________________
Why doesn't she just stick
to being a tinker?
_________________________________
She just wants to
go to the mainland, Dess.
_________________________________
And we'd said we'd help her.
_________________________________
Yeah, well, you shouldn't
have promised her that, Sil.
_________________________________
ROSETTA: Girls, enough.
Now, Tink may drive us a little crazy,
_________________________________
but I think we all
just want what's best for her.
_________________________________
I just wish she could see
what a rare talent she is.
_________________________________
Yeah, I mean, what we saw her doing,
_________________________________
I've never seen anyone do anything
as amazing as that.
_________________________________
Even Vidia.
_________________________________
Well, Vidia is a rare talent, too.
But with one big difference.
_________________________________
Tink's not a complete stinkweed.
_________________________________
(ALL LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Hey, I'm still missing one.
_________________________________
(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________
There you are.
_________________________________
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

You know,

I can't help but notice you seem
_________________________________

a little at war with yourself here.
_________________________________

-What?

-I'm only picking up bits and pieces.
_________________________________

Overprotective mother,

forbidden road trip. This is serious stuff.
_________________________________

But let me ease your conscience.

This is part of growing up.
_________________________________

A little rebellion, a little adventure,

that's good. Healthy, even.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) You think?
_________________________________

I know. You're way over-thinking this,

trust me.
_________________________________

Does your mother deserve it? No.
_________________________________

Would this break her heart

and crush her soul? Of course!
_________________________________

But you've got to do it.
_________________________________

"Break her heart"?
_________________________________

-In half.

-"Crush her soul"?
_________________________________

Like a grape.
_________________________________

She would be heartbroken. You're right.
_________________________________

I am, aren't I? Oh, bother.
_________________________________

All right. I can't believe I'm saying this,

but I'm letting you out of the deal.
_________________________________

-What?

-That's right, but don't thank me.
_________________________________

Let's turn around and get you home.

Here's your pan, here's your frog.
_________________________________

I get back my satchel,
_________________________________

you get back a mother-daughter

relationship based on mutual trust,
_________________________________

and voilá,

we part ways as unlikely friends.
_________________________________

No! I am seeing those lanterns.
_________________________________

Oh, come on! What is it going to take

for me to get my satchel back?
_________________________________

I will use this.
_________________________________

-(TWIG SNAPPING)

-(PASCAL SQUEALS)
_________________________________

(GASPS) Is it ruffians? Thugs?

Have they come for me?
_________________________________

Stay calm. It can probably smell fear.
_________________________________

Oh! (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Sorry! Guess I'm just a little bit jumpy.
_________________________________

Probably be best if we avoid ruffians

and thugs, though.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES SELF-CONSCIOUSLY)

Yeah, that would probably be best.
_________________________________

Are you hungry?

I know a great place for lunch.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Where?
_________________________________

Oh, don't you worry.

You'll know it when you smell it.
_________________________________

_________________________________
(BAD TO THE BONE PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SCRAPING)
_________________________________

Hey, what's everybody
so quiet about, huh?
_________________________________

Well, she's sorta like Miss Piggy.
_________________________________

Come on, everybody.

Let's go pitch our telethon
_________________________________

and get the Muppets back on TV, okay?
_________________________________

-No.

-No.
_________________________________

-(SPEAKS SPANISH)

-(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________

Oh, my goodness! Oh, that's wonderful!
_________________________________

-That means "no."

-(SILENCES)
_________________________________

-Oh.

-Uh, come on, guys.
_________________________________

-Awkward.

-(ALL SIGH)
_________________________________

Listen, Kermit, I like you.
_________________________________

I remember you guys

from when I was a kid.
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-So I'm gonna shoot straight.
_________________________________

-You guys aren't famous anymore.

-Yeesh!
_________________________________

I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.
_________________________________

Take a look at this diagram
the research department drew up.
_________________________________

This circle represents
everything that's currently popular.
_________________________________

And this tiny speck is you guys.
_________________________________

So the answer's no.
It's not gonna happen.

_________________________________

Take a look at the shows that

are popular now. Punch Teacher.
_________________________________

-Ooh, I love that show.

-It's time to punch teacher!
_________________________________

-(ALL CHEERING)

-HOST: Finish him!
_________________________________

It's my favorite.
_________________________________

MAN: I just thought
_________________________________

I could make a difference.
_________________________________

I'm sorry, but in this market,
_________________________________
you guys are no longer relevant.
Have a good day.
_________________________________

(ALL MUMBLING)
_________________________________

Before I go,

I'd just like to say something.
_________________________________

I think kids are smarter and better

than all this junk, and if you...
_________________________________

-Whoa!

-Veronica, bad news.
_________________________________

Punch Teacher has stopped production.
_________________________________

It's being sued by the

Teachers Society of America.
_________________________________

-What's their problem?

-No idea. I just found out.
_________________________________

What are we supposed to do

with that 120-minute black hole
_________________________________

in the schedule coming up in two days?
_________________________________
(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________

Okay, Muppets.

You've got yourselves a show.
_________________________________

-Oh, yes!

-(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

Thank you so much. You will not

be sorry, I promise, I promise!
_________________________________

Okay, enough! One, no more going nuts
in my office. These are new carpets.
_________________________________

-Yes, ma'am.

-And two, you need a celebrity host.
_________________________________

Okay. Whatever, whatever.

Come on, guys, let's go. Yeah!

_________________________________
BOBO: Let me wipe that down.
_________________________________
DEADLY: You've missed a spot.

_________________________________

-I don't see it.

-Just a little lower! Ah!
_________________________________

-Oh, I am so sorry. Did I get you...

-Yes.
_________________________________

Well, gentlemen. It appears

we have some competition
_________________________________

on the Muppet property.
_________________________________

The Economist says they've

gotten back together again.
_________________________________

The Muppets got back together?
_________________________________

Ooh, ooh, remember?
_________________________________

(SINGING) Together again
Gee, it's good to be...
_________________________________

Gentlemen, please!
_________________________________

-(WHIMPERS)

-No singing in my office!
_________________________________

-Yes, sir.

-But, of course, it was all his fault.
_________________________________

-Mostly his fault.

-No matter.
_________________________________

Point is that studio and

that oil belong to me.
_________________________________

Yeah, those Muppets
are gonna be running home
_________________________________
with their tails between their legs.
_________________________________

Some of 'em literally.

Because those ones have tails.
_________________________________

Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

That's a maniacal laugh moment.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

(TWIG SNAPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING SOFTLY)
_________________________________

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
_________________________________

(NEIGHING MENACINGLY)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

A palace horse.
_________________________________

Where's your rider?
_________________________________

Rapunzel.
_________________________________

Rapunzel!
_________________________________

(NEIGHS IN CONFUSION)
_________________________________

Rapunzel! Let down your hair!
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(POUNDING)
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

Rapunzel!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

_________________________________
KERMIT: Okay, this is it.
_________________________________
'80s Robot, let's park around back.

_________________________________

(CHAIN RATTLES)
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________
KERMIT: It's The Muppet Show, with
our special guest star, Mr. Bob Hope!

_________________________________
(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: Time once again

for Veterinarian's Hospital,

_________________________________
the continuing story of...

_________________________________
And now, Pigs in Space!

_________________________________
Gary. Can you believe it?
_________________________________

The Muppet Theater.
_________________________________

Yeah.
_________________________________

-Welcome back, everyone.

-Thanks.
_________________________________

Well, I know the old place is
not quite at its best right now.
_________________________________

Yeah! Who cancelled
the maid service? (LAUGHS)
_________________________________

But don't worry. We'll be fine.
_________________________________

Uh, Kermit, there's no way we can

rehearse with the place like this.
_________________________________

Wait. Kermit, don't say another word.
_________________________________

Mary, Walter and I, well, we would be
happy to help you rebuild the theater.

_________________________________

Honestly, it would be an honor
for all three of us.
_________________________________

So would.
_________________________________

Okay. Well, let's clean this place up!
_________________________________

ALL: Yeah!
_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

-This is boring.

-But don't you guys remember?
_________________________________

You're the Muppets!
You do this to music!
_________________________________

-Well, all right!
(WE BUILT THIS CITY PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) We built this city
_________________________________

We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
Built this city
_________________________________

-Hey, Animal!

-Yeah?
_________________________________

-Look what I found!

-(SCREAMING)

_________________________________
We built this city

_________________________________
We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
-Built this city

-(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
-Beauregard!

-Scooter! Good to see you!
_________________________________

Uh, where's everybody been?
_________________________________

Celebrity... Celebrity!
_________________________________

Hello! Yes. Could I speak

with President Carter, please?
_________________________________

Oh, he moved, huh?
_________________________________

Well, you don't happen to have

a number where I could reach...
_________________________________

-(DIAL TONE)

-Hello?
_________________________________

Walter, I thought we were gonna
clean the balcony.
_________________________________

-Doing a great job, pal.
-You're doing a great job.
_________________________________
Wocka wocka.

_________________________________

Hey, guys!
_________________________________
Look at these old photos I just found.
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-Ah,
_________________________________

can you believe that

'80s haircut I used to have?
_________________________________

I looked totally ridiculous!
_________________________________

(SINGING) Don't you remember

_________________________________
We built this city

_________________________________
Yes, it's Kermit. The frog.
_________________________________

Could you come to our celebrity
telethon this weekend?
_________________________________

Sure. Sure, I understand.
_________________________________

We built this city

_________________________________
We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
(BABBLING)
_________________________________

-Hey, shut the door!

-What is that?
_________________________________

(GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES)

-We built this city on rock and roll
_________________________________

We built this city
_________________________________

Ah

_________________________________
We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
-Built this city

-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

We built this city on rock and roll

_________________________________
Wow! Great job, everybody!
_________________________________

Oh, hey, Kermit.

Listen, um, have a great night,
_________________________________

and I just want you to know,

Walter and I are really good sewers,
_________________________________

so we'll have those costumes

ready for you in no time.
_________________________________

Oh, good.
_________________________________

-Well, you two have a great night.

-Okay. Thank you!
_________________________________

-Bye.

-ROWLF: Uh, Kermit?
_________________________________

Gary, I was kind of hoping
that we could go to the beach tomorrow

_________________________________

-or see the Hollywood Sign.

-We'll have plenty of time
_________________________________

to do that stuff.
_________________________________
It's just, right now,
I don't wanna leave Walter.
_________________________________

You know, he needs me.
_________________________________

I don't know, sweetheart.

He seems pretty happy.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHTER)
-FOZZIE: Like that.
_________________________________
WALTER: Oh, okay.

FOZZIE: Now you.

_________________________________

Yeah, that's it! Yeah, yeah, good job!
_________________________________

Well, just one more day, okay?

And then I'm all yours.
_________________________________

Tell you what. Why don't you get
a head start on sightseeing tomorrow,

_________________________________

and then I'll be waiting
for you when you get back.

_________________________________

Okay. Just... Don't forget about me.
_________________________________

-Never.

-(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Well, we're still on

for dinner Friday, right?
_________________________________

Yeah, of course.
_________________________________

-Oh, Walter!

-Oh, yes, Kermit.
_________________________________

Hey, listen, Walter, I just wanna tell you
_________________________________

that none of this would have happened
without you, so thank you.
_________________________________

-Oh, well...

-Oh. And, uh, welcome aboard.
_________________________________

Night, everybody. Just sleep

anywhere you can find a spot.
_________________________________

"Welcome aboard?"

_________________________________

_________________________________

Now, this restaurant of yours,

is it going to have étouffée?
_________________________________

Jambalaya, gumbo.

It's going to have it all.
_________________________________

I've always wanted to try red beans

and rice, muffulettas, po' boys.
_________________________________

Stop, Louis.
_________________________________

You two are making me so very hungry.
_________________________________

Interesting.
_________________________________

What are you doing?
_________________________________

(SOFTLY) Shh!

You are frightening the food.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

This is harder than it looks.
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

What? Oh, no. No, no, no.
_________________________________

There is no way I am kissing a frog

and eating a bug on the same day.
_________________________________

(SHOUTS)
_________________________________

(MUFFLED) No! No, no.
_________________________________

-Hello.

-Hold still.
_________________________________

Stop moving!

You are making this very difficult!
_________________________________

Y'all find anything to eat yet? Oh, my.
_________________________________

Hang on. Old Louis got it covered.
_________________________________
NAVEEN: No, no...
TIANA: Don't...

_________________________________
LOUIS: How's that?

_________________________________

This could be a little better.
_________________________________

You know what this needs?
_________________________________

A sharp stick! Be right back.
_________________________________

(SCATTING)
_________________________________

-This is all your fault.

-My fault? My fault...
_________________________________

Let me tell you something.

I was having a wonderful time until...
_________________________________

Coo! Well, looky here!
_________________________________

Girl, I guess you and your boyfriend

got a little carried away. Am I right?
_________________________________

-Oh, no, no!

-Do not be ridiculous!
_________________________________

-He's not my boyfriend!

-I am the Prince of Maldonia!
_________________________________

Let me shine a little light

on the situation.
_________________________________

(FARTS)
_________________________________

Excuse me. One more time now.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

That's more better. Yeah.
_________________________________

It's okay, baby. I don't explode me.
_________________________________

I ain't no firecracker!
_________________________________

I just got my big butt glowing!

That's right!
_________________________________

The women like a man

with a big back porch!
_________________________________

Lord, you done this up

real good, for sure.
_________________________________

Now where this go to at?
_________________________________

Hang on, Cap.

I'm just going to give a little twist here.
_________________________________

We're getting to know each other now!
_________________________________

(RAY WHOOPS)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Won't you catch a fish?
Catch one, catch two

_________________________________
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
_________________________________

We're back in the bayou
'round fishin' time

_________________________________
(BOTH SCREAM)
_________________________________

It's about time I introduce myself.
_________________________________

My name Raymond,

but everybody call me, "Ray."
_________________________________

Pardon me, but your accent,

it's funny, no?
_________________________________

I'm a Cajun, brah.

Born and bred in the bayou.
_________________________________

Y'all must be new around here, huh?
_________________________________

Actually, we are from a place

far, far away from this world.
_________________________________

Go to bed! Y'all from Shreveport?
_________________________________

No. No, no, no. We are people.
_________________________________

Prince Charming here

got himself turned into a frog
_________________________________

by a voodoo witch doctor.
_________________________________

Well, there you go.
_________________________________

And we were on our way

to Mama Odie's.
_________________________________

-We think maybe she can...

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
_________________________________

Mama Odie? Y'all headed

the wrong directional, chére.
_________________________________

Now what kind of chucklehead

told y'all to go this way?
_________________________________

I found a stick!
_________________________________

Louis.
_________________________________

Ray here says you've been taking us

in the wrong direction.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

I was... Well, listen.
_________________________________

I was confused by the topography

and the geography
_________________________________

and the choreography and...
_________________________________

First rule of the bayou,

never take direction from a gator.
_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

Why, me and my relationals

will help show y'all the way.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Hey, Cousin Randy!

You ready for a little bayou zydeco?
_________________________________

Ready when you are, Cousin Ray.
_________________________________

All right, Lulu. Let's get to it, darling.
_________________________________

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
_________________________________

Come on, chére!

Just follow the bouncing butt!
_________________________________

(SINGING) We're gonna take you there
We're gonna take you there

_________________________________
We're gonna take you all the way there

_________________________________
Gonna take you there
We're gonna take you there

_________________________________
We're gonna take you all the way

_________________________________
Oh, yeah!
_________________________________

Goin' down the bayou
Goin' down the bayou
_________________________________

Goin' down the bayou
Takin' you all the way
_________________________________

We got the whole family.
_________________________________

There goes Mimi, Cousin Beaudreaux.
_________________________________

Oh, Grandmama! Your light out!
_________________________________

Hmm?
_________________________________

We all gonna pull together
Down here that's how we do

_________________________________
Me for them and them for me
_________________________________

We all be there for you
_________________________________

We goin' take ya
We goin' take ya

_________________________________
We goin' take ya all the way there

_________________________________
We know where you're goin'
and we're goin' with you

_________________________________
Takin' you all the way

_________________________________
Goin' down the bayou

Goin' down the bayou
_________________________________

Goin' down the bayou
_________________________________

Takin' you all...

_________________________________
Yeah, you know!
_________________________________

Come on, y'all!
_________________________________

Keep that line flowin'

and the lights a-glowin'!
_________________________________

Yeah, you're right!

_________________________________

_________________________________

FEATHERDUSTER: Oh, no.

LUMIERE: Oh, yes.

_________________________________

-Oh, no.

-Oh, yes, yes, yes.

_________________________________

(FEATHERDUSTER GIGGLING)

_________________________________

I've been burned by you before.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES MISCHIEVOUSLY)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

Zut alors! She has emerged!

_________________________________

I know it's around here somewhere.
_________________________________

Ah, there it is! The Snuggly Duckling.
_________________________________

Don't worry. Very quaint place.

Perfect for you.
_________________________________

Don't want you scaring and giving up

on this whole endeavor now, do we?
_________________________________

-Well, I do like ducklings.

-Yay!

_________________________________

Come on, Chip. Into the cupboard

with your brothers and sisters.

_________________________________

(YAWNS)

_________________________________

But I'm not sleepy.

_________________________________

-Yes, you are.

-No, I'm not.

_________________________________

I work and I slave all day long,

and for what?

_________________________________

A culinary masterpiece gone to waste!

_________________________________

Stop your grousing.

It's been a long night for all of us.

_________________________________

Well, if you ask me,

she was just being stubborn.

_________________________________

After all, he did say "please."

_________________________________

But if the master doesn't learn

to control that temper,

_________________________________

-he'll never break the...

-Splendid to see you

_________________________________

out and about, mademoiselle.

_________________________________

I am Cogsworth, head of the household.

_________________________________

-This is Lumiere.

-Enchanté, chérie.

_________________________________

If there's, stop that,

anything we, please,

_________________________________

can do to make your stay

more comfortable... Ow!

_________________________________

-I am a little hungry.

-You are?

_________________________________

Hear that? She's hungry.

_________________________________

Stoke the fire.

Break out the silver. Wake the china.

_________________________________

Remember what the master said.

_________________________________

Oh, pish tosh. I'm not about

to let the poor child go hungry.

_________________________________

All right, fine. Glass of water,

crust of bread and then...

_________________________________

Cogsworth, I am surprised at you.

_________________________________

She's not a prisoner. She's our guest.

_________________________________

We must make her feel welcome here.

Right this way, mademoiselle.

_________________________________

Well, keep it down.

_________________________________

If the master finds out about this,

it will be our necks.

_________________________________

Of course, of course.

_________________________________

But what is dinner

without a little music?

_________________________________

Music?

_________________________________

(MEN CHATTERING)
_________________________________

Garcon, your finest table, please!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

You smell that? Take a deep breath

through the nose. (INHALES DEEPLY)
_________________________________

Really let that seep in.

What are you getting?
_________________________________

To me, it's part man-smell and the other

part is really bad man-smell.
_________________________________

I don't know why,

but overall it smells like the color brown.
_________________________________

-Your thoughts?

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

That's a lot of hair.
_________________________________

She's growing it out.

Is that blood in your mustache?
_________________________________

Goldie, look at all the blood

in his mustache!
_________________________________

Good sir, that's a lot of blood!
_________________________________

(GROWLS)
_________________________________

You don't look so good, blondie. Maybe

we should get you home, call it a day.
_________________________________

Probably better off.

This is a five-star joint.
_________________________________

If you can't handle this place, maybe

you should be back in your tower.
_________________________________

-(RAPUNZEL GASPS)

-Is this you?
_________________________________
FLYNN: (GRUNTS)

Now they're just being mean.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) It's him, all right.
_________________________________

Greno, go find some guards.
_________________________________

That reward

is going to buy me a new hook.
_________________________________

-I could use the money.

-What about me? I'm broke!
_________________________________

Get back!
_________________________________

-Mine!

-Ruffians, stop!
_________________________________

-We can work this out!

-Hey! Leave him alone!
_________________________________

Gentlemen, please!
_________________________________

Give me back my guide! Ruffians!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Not the nose! Not the nose!
_________________________________

Put him down!
_________________________________

I don't know where I am, and I need him

to take me to see the lanterns
_________________________________

because I've been dreaming about them

my entire life!
_________________________________

Find your humanity!

Haven't any of you ever had a dream?
_________________________________

I had a dream once.
_________________________________

(PLAYING NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

(SINGING) I'm malicious,
mean and scary
_________________________________

My sneer could curdle dairy

_________________________________
And violence-wise
my hands are not the cleanest

_________________________________
But despite my evil look
And my temper and my hook
_________________________________

I've always yearned
to be a concert pianist
_________________________________

(PLAYING PIANO)
_________________________________

Can't you see me on the stage
performing Mozart

_________________________________
Tickling the ivories till they gleam
_________________________________

Yep, I'd rather be called deadly

For my killer show tune medley
_________________________________

Thank you!
_________________________________

'Cause way down deep inside
I've got a dream

_________________________________
ALL: He's got a dream
He's got a dream

_________________________________
See, I ain't as cruel and vicious
as I seem
_________________________________

Though I do like breaking femurs

You can count me with the dreamers
_________________________________

Like everybody else I've got a dream
_________________________________

(MEN HUMMING DISTANTLY)
_________________________________

I've got scars and lumps and bruises

Plus something here that oozes
_________________________________

And let's not even mention
my complexion
_________________________________

But despite my extra toes
And my goiter and my nose
_________________________________

I really want to make a love connection
_________________________________

Can't you see me
with a special little lady?
_________________________________

Rowing in a rowboat down the stream
_________________________________

Though I'm one disgusting blighter
I'm a lover not a fighter

_________________________________
'Cause way down deep inside
I've got a dream

_________________________________
-I've got a dream

-ALL: He's got a dream
_________________________________

-I've got a dream

-He's got a dream
_________________________________

And I know one day
romance will reign supreme
_________________________________

Though my face
leaves people screaming

_________________________________
There's a child behind it dreaming

_________________________________
Like everybody else, I've got a dream

_________________________________
Thor would like to quit and be a florist

_________________________________
Gunther does interior design

_________________________________
-Ulf is into mime

-Attila's cupcakes are sublime
_________________________________

Bruiser knits, Killer sews
Fang does little puppet shows
_________________________________

And Vladimir collects ceramic unicorns
_________________________________

(DINGING)
_________________________________

-What about you?

-I'm sorry, me?
_________________________________

What's your dream?
_________________________________

No, no, no. Sorry, boys. I don't sing.
_________________________________

(SINGING) I have dreams like you
No, really

_________________________________
Just much less touchy-feely

_________________________________
They mainly happen
somewhere warm and sunny

_________________________________
On an island that I own
Tanned and rested and alone
_________________________________

Surrounded by enormous
piles of money
_________________________________

-I've got a dream

-ALL: She's got a dream
_________________________________

-I've got a dream

-She's got a dream
_________________________________

I just want to see
the floating lanterns gleam
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

And with every passing hour
I'm so glad I left my tower
_________________________________

Like all you lovely folks
I've got a dream
_________________________________

She's got a dream
He's got a dream
_________________________________

They've got a dream
We've got a dream
_________________________________

So our differences
ain't really that extreme
_________________________________

We're one big team
_________________________________

-Call us brutal

-Sick
_________________________________

-Sadistic

-And grotesquely optimistic
_________________________________

'Cause way down deep inside
we've got a dream

_________________________________
-I've got a dream

-I've got a dream
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Yes, way down deep inside
I've got a dream
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

Ma chère mademoiselle!

_________________________________

It is with deepest pride

and greatest pleasure

_________________________________

that we welcome you tonight.

_________________________________

And now, we invite you to relax.

_________________________________

Let us pull up a chair,

as the dining room proudly presents

_________________________________

your dinner.

_________________________________

(SINGING) Be our guest, be our guest

_________________________________

Put our service to the test

_________________________________

Tie your napkin

'round your neck, chérie

_________________________________

And we provide the rest

_________________________________

Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres

_________________________________

Why, we only live to serve

_________________________________

Try the grey stuff, it's delicious

_________________________________

Don't believe me?

Ask the dishes

_________________________________

They can sing, they can dance

_________________________________

After all, miss, this is France

_________________________________

And a dinner here

is never second best

_________________________________

Go on, unfold your menu

_________________________________

Take a glance

and then you'll be our guest

_________________________________

Oui, our guest

Be our guest

_________________________________

Beef ragout, cheese soufflé

_________________________________

Pie and pudding, en flambé

_________________________________

We'll prepare and serve with flair

_________________________________

A culinary cabaret

_________________________________

You're alone and you're scared

_________________________________

But the banquet's all prepared

_________________________________

No one's gloomy or complaining

_________________________________

While the flatware's entertaining

_________________________________

We tell jokes, I do tricks

_________________________________

With my fellow candlesticks

_________________________________

Und it's all in perfect taste

_________________________________

That you can bet

_________________________________

Come on and lift your glass

_________________________________

You've won your own free pass

_________________________________

To be our guest

_________________________________

If you're stressed

it's fine dining we suggest

_________________________________

ALL: Be our guest, be our guest

_________________________________

Shh!

_________________________________

Be our guest

_________________________________

LUMIERE: Life is so unnerving

_________________________________

For a servant who's not serving

_________________________________

He's not whole

without a soul to wait upon

_________________________________

Get off!

_________________________________

Ah, those good old days

_________________________________

When we were useful

_________________________________

Huh?

_________________________________

Suddenly, those good old days

are gone

_________________________________

Oh.

_________________________________

Ten years we've been rusting

_________________________________

Needing so much more than dusting

_________________________________

Needing exercise

_________________________________

A chance to use our skills

_________________________________

(YOWLING)

_________________________________

Most days

we just lay around the castle

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Flabby, fat and lazy

_________________________________

You walked in and oops-a-daisy

_________________________________

It's a guest, it's a guest

_________________________________

Sakes alive, well, I'll be blessed

_________________________________

Wine's been poured

and thank the Lord

_________________________________

I've had the napkins freshly pressed

_________________________________

With dessert, she'll want tea

_________________________________

And, my dear, that's fine with me

_________________________________

While the cups do their soft-shoeing

_________________________________

I'll be bubbling, I'll be brewing

_________________________________

I'll get warm, piping hot

_________________________________

Heaven sakes, is that a spot?

_________________________________

Clean it up

We want the company impressed

_________________________________

We've got a lot to do

_________________________________

Is it one lump or two?

_________________________________

For you, our guest

_________________________________

-ALL: She's our guest

-She's our guest

_________________________________

ALL: Be our guest

_________________________________

Be our guest, be our guest

Our command is your request

_________________________________

Let's go, people. Fun's over.

Over here. Line up.

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

It's 10 years

since we've had anybody here

_________________________________

And we're obsessed

_________________________________

With your meal, with your ease

_________________________________

Yes, indeed, we aim to please

_________________________________

While the candlelight's still glowing

_________________________________

Let us help you, we'll keep going

_________________________________

Course by course

_________________________________

One by one

_________________________________

Till you shout, "Enough, I'm done!"

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

Then we'll sing you off to sleep

as you digest

_________________________________

Tonight, you'll prop your feet up

_________________________________

But for now, let's eat up

_________________________________

Be our guest

_________________________________

Be our guest

_________________________________

Be our guest

_________________________________

Please be our

_________________________________

Guest

_________________________________

-Bravo! That was wonderful.

-Thank you. (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Thank you, mademoiselle.

Good show, wasn't it? Everyone!

_________________________________

(YAWNING) My goodness, look at

the time. Now it's off to bed, off to bed.

_________________________________

I couldn't possibly go to bed now.

_________________________________

It's my first time in an enchanted castle.

_________________________________

Enchanted! (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

Who said anything

about the castle being enchanted?

_________________________________

It was you, wasn't it?

_________________________________

I figured it out for myself.

_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

I'd like to look around, if that's all right.

_________________________________

-Would you like a tour?

-Wait a second. Wait a second.

_________________________________

I'm not sure that's such a good idea.

_________________________________

We can't let her go poking around

in certain places,

_________________________________

if you know what I mean.

_________________________________

Perhaps you'd like to take me.

_________________________________

I'm sure you know everything there is

to know about the castle.

_________________________________

Oh, well. Actually, I...

_________________________________

Yes, I do.

_________________________________

As you can see,

the pseudo-facade was stripped away

_________________________________

to reveal the minimalist Rococo design.

_________________________________

Note the unusual

inverted vaulted ceilings.

_________________________________

This is yet another example

of the late-neoclassic Baroque period.

_________________________________

And, as I always say,

if it's not Baroque, don't fix it.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

Where was I?

_________________________________

As you were!

_________________________________

Now, then, if I may draw your attention

to the flying buttresses above the...

_________________________________

Uh, mademoiselle?

_________________________________

(BARKING)

_________________________________

-What's up there?

-Where? There? Oh, nothing.

_________________________________

Absolutely nothing of interest at all

in the west wing.

_________________________________

Dusty, dull, very boring.

_________________________________

Ah, so, that's the west wing!

_________________________________

Nice going.

_________________________________

I wonder what he's hiding up there.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Hiding?

_________________________________

-The master is hiding nothing.

-Then it wouldn't be forbidden.

_________________________________

(STAMMERING) Perhaps mademoiselle

would like to see something else?

_________________________________

We have exquisite tapestries

dating all the way back to...

_________________________________

-Maybe later.

-The gardens.

_________________________________

Or... Or the... The library, perhaps?

_________________________________

You have a library?

_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES) Oh, yes. Indeed.

-With books.

_________________________________

-Scads of books.

-Mountains of books.

_________________________________

-Forests of books.

-Cascades.

_________________________________

-Cloudbursts.

-Swamps of books.

_________________________________

COGSWORTH: More books than

you'll ever be able to read in a lifetime.

_________________________________

Books on every subject ever studied

_________________________________

(BARKING)

_________________________________

by every author

who ever set pen to paper.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Friends, I know I'm in hock

to y'all pretty deep already,
_________________________________

but seems our little froggy prince

lost his way
_________________________________

and I need your generous assistance

getting him back.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

I hear you! Now, what's in it for y'all?
_________________________________

Well, as soon as I dispose

of Big Daddy LaBouff
_________________________________

and I'm running this town,
_________________________________

(LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)
_________________________________

I'll have the entire city of New Orleans

in the palm of my hand.
_________________________________

And you'll have all the wayward souls

your dark little hearts desire.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Y'all love that, don't you?
_________________________________

So, we got ourselves a deal?
_________________________________

(SHRIEKING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Now we're cooking!

We're going to find ourselves a frog!
_________________________________

Search everywhere!

The bayou, the Quarter.
_________________________________

Bring him to me alive.

I need his heart pumping for now.
_________________________________

(SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Wow!

_________________________________

-Is that all one town?

-One town, a million troubles.

_________________________________

The one and only Thebes.

The Big Olive itself.

_________________________________

If you can make it there,

you can make it anywhere.

_________________________________

(CROWD BUSTLING)

_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)

_________________________________

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

_________________________________

Stick with me, kid.

This city is a dangerous place.

_________________________________

-Look where you're goin', numbskull!

-Hey, I'm walkin' here!

_________________________________

You see what I mean?

I'm tellin' you, wackos.

_________________________________

MAN: Pitta bread. Pitta bread.

Get your pitta bread here.

_________________________________

Hey, Mack.

_________________________________

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

_________________________________

-You wanna buy a sundial?

-He's not interested, all right?

_________________________________

Come on, kid.

_________________________________

The end is coming! Can't you feel it?

_________________________________

Yes, yes. Thank you for the info. Yes.

We'll ponder that for a while.

_________________________________

Just stare at the sidewalk. Come on.

_________________________________

Don't make eye contact.

People here are nuts.

_________________________________

That's because

they live in a city of turmoil.

_________________________________

Trust me, kid.

_________________________________

You're gonna be

just what the doctor ordered.

_________________________________

It was tragic!

We lost everything in the fire.

_________________________________

Everything except old Snowball here.

_________________________________

(WEAK MEOW)

_________________________________

Now, were the fires

before or after the earthquake?

_________________________________

They were after the earthquake.

I remember.

_________________________________

But before the flood.

_________________________________

Don't even get me started

on the crime rate.

_________________________________

Thebes has certainly

gone downhill in a hurry.

_________________________________

OLD MAN: Tell me about it.

_________________________________

It seems like every time I turn around,

_________________________________

there's some new monster

wreaking havoc and I...

_________________________________

All we need now is a plague of locusts.

_________________________________

-(CHIRPING)

-(CROWD SCREAMING)

_________________________________

That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!

_________________________________

HERCULES: Excuse me.

_________________________________

It, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

_________________________________

...seems to me that what

you folks need is a hero.

_________________________________

Yeah, and who are you?

_________________________________

I'm Hercules, and I happen to be a hero.

_________________________________

(CROWD LAUGHING)

_________________________________

-Is that so?

-WOMAN: (LAUGHING) A hero!

_________________________________

-Have you ever saved a town before?

-Uh, no. Not exactly, but I...

_________________________________

Have you ever

reversed a natural disaster?

_________________________________

Well, uh, no.

_________________________________

Listen to this.

He's just another chariot chaser.

_________________________________

-This we need.

-WOMAN: That's a laugh.

_________________________________

-Don't you pea brains get it?

-WOMAN: Hmm?

_________________________________

This kid is the genuine article.

_________________________________

Hey, isn't that the goat-man

who trained Achilles?

_________________________________

Watch it, pal.

_________________________________

Yeah, you're right.

_________________________________

Hey, nice job on those heels!

_________________________________

Ya missed a spot! (LAUGHING)

_________________________________

I got your heel right here!

_________________________________

I'll wipe that stupid grin

off your face! You...

_________________________________

Hey, Phil! Phil! Phil! Take it easy. Phil.

_________________________________

What are you, crazy? Sheesh!

_________________________________

Young man, we need

a professional hero, not an amateur.

_________________________________

Well, wait. Stop!

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

How am I supposed to prove myself

a hero if nobody will give me a chance?

_________________________________

You'll get your chance.

_________________________________

You just need some kind of

catastrophe or disaster.

_________________________________

MEG: (PANTING) Please.

_________________________________

Help! Please!

There's been a terrible accident!

_________________________________

-Meg?

-Speakin' of disasters.

_________________________________

Wonderboy! Hercules!

Thank goodness!

_________________________________

What's wrong?

_________________________________

Outside of town, two little boys.

They were playing in the gorge.

_________________________________

There was this terrible rockslide.

_________________________________

-They're trapped!

-Kids? Trapped?

_________________________________

Phil, this is great!

_________________________________

You're really choked up about this,

aren't ya?

_________________________________

Come on!

_________________________________

No, I... You don't...

I have this terrible fear of heights!

_________________________________

-(GROANS)

-(SNICKERS)

_________________________________

-(PANTING)

-(CROWD CHATTERING)

_________________________________

I'm right behind ya, kid! Whoo!

_________________________________

I'm way behind ya, kid.

_________________________________

(SPUTTERING) I got a fur wedgie.

_________________________________

_________________________________
RAY: I'll take them the rest of the way.

_________________________________

-Nice meeting y'all!

-Bye-bye, Pookie!
_________________________________

(RAY SPEAKING FRENCH)
_________________________________

BEAUDREAUX: Will do, Cousin Ray!
_________________________________

And don't forget to tell Angela,

Ray say, "Bonne chance!"
_________________________________

-That's your girl?

-Oh, no, no.
_________________________________

My girl? Ho, ho, ho. That's Evangeline.
_________________________________

Evangeline?
_________________________________

She the most prettiest firefly

ever did glow.
_________________________________

(SQUEALS)
_________________________________

You know, I talk to Evangeline

most every night.
_________________________________

She's kind of shy. Don't say much.
_________________________________

And I know in my heart
_________________________________

someday we are

going to be together. Yeah.
_________________________________

-Aw! That's so sweet.

-NAVEEN: Yeah, so sweet.
_________________________________

Just do not settle down so quickly,

my friend.
_________________________________

There are plenty of fireflies

in the swamp.
_________________________________

(TIANA GROANS)
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

(SHOUTS IN PAIN)
_________________________________

Pricker bushes got me!
_________________________________

Gator down! Gator down!
_________________________________

The darkness is closing in! I'm so cold.
_________________________________
RAY: Will you hold still, you big baby?

_________________________________

(LOUIS SCREAMING)
_________________________________
RAY: I ain't touched it yet.

_________________________________

(CLATTERING)
_________________________________

Oh! Take a look at them two jumpers.
_________________________________

I can taste them frog legs already.
_________________________________

Bet they taste real good

with the sauce piquant, right, Pa?
_________________________________

(SOFTLY) Will you keep quiet?
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
_________________________________

(MUMBLING)
_________________________________

Oh! My thoughts exactly, Two Fingers.
_________________________________

It is time to catch us some frogs!
_________________________________

(BOTH CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

_________________________________

-(WHINNYING)

-(MEG GASPING)

_________________________________

-(TRILLING WHISTLE)

-(GROANING)

_________________________________

-Are you okay?

-I'll be fine.

_________________________________

Just get me down

before I ruin the upholstery.

_________________________________

BOY 1: Help! I can't breathe!

BOY 2: (COUGHING) Hurry!

_________________________________

-Get us out!

-We're suffocating!

_________________________________

Somebody call IX-I-I! (COUGHING)

_________________________________

Easy, fellas. You'll be all right.

_________________________________
-We can't last much longer!

-Get us out before we get crushed!

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(LIGHT APPLAUSE)

_________________________________

-How you boys doin'?

-We're okay now.

_________________________________

Jeepers, mister. You're really strong.

_________________________________

Well, try to be a little more careful

next time, okay, kids?

_________________________________

We sure will.

_________________________________

HADES: A stirring performance, boys.

_________________________________

I was really moved. (SLURPING)

_________________________________

"Jeepers, mister"?

_________________________________

I was going for innocence.

_________________________________

And, hey, two thumbs

way, way up for our leading lady.

_________________________________

What a dish. What a doll.

_________________________________

Get outta there, you big lug,

while you still can.

_________________________________

_________________________________

I found the guards!
_________________________________

Where's Rider? Where is he?
_________________________________

I know he's in here somewhere.

Find him.
_________________________________

Turn the place upside down

if you have to!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CHAINS RATTLING)
_________________________________

Go. Live your dream.
_________________________________

-I will.

-Your dream stinks.
_________________________________

I was talking to her.
_________________________________

Thanks for everything.
_________________________________

I believe

this is the man you're looking for.
_________________________________

(SLURRING) You got me!
_________________________________

Sir, there's no sign of Rider.
_________________________________

(NEIGHING)
_________________________________

Maximus!
_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

What's he doing?
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

(SNUFFLES)
_________________________________

A passage! Come on, men. Let's go.
_________________________________

Conli! Make sure those boys

don't get away.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Play it safe
_________________________________

or go get the crown?
_________________________________

(BOTH CHUCKLE)
_________________________________

(SLURRING) I got a dream
I got some dreams

_________________________________
Oh! Somebody get me a glass!
_________________________________

Because I just found me

a tall drink of water.
_________________________________

Oh, stop it, you big lug.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Where does that tunnel let out?
_________________________________

Knife!

_________________________________

(SEAGULLS CALLING)

_________________________________

HOOK: Now, me dear princess,

this is me proposition.

_________________________________

You tell me the hiding place

of Peter Pan,

_________________________________

and I shall set you free.

_________________________________

-You dog.

-Poor Tiger Lily.

_________________________________

Am I not a man of me word, Mr. Smee?

_________________________________

Oh, yes. Always, captain.

_________________________________

You'd better talk, me dear,

for soon the tide will be in

_________________________________

and then it will be too late.

_________________________________

I'll show the old codfish.

Stay here, and watch the fun.

_________________________________

Fun?

_________________________________

HOOK: Remember,

_________________________________

there is no path through water

_________________________________

to the happy hunting ground.

_________________________________

This is your last chance, Tiger Lily!

_________________________________

Manatoa, great spirit

of mighty seawater, speak!

_________________________________

Beware, Captain Hook!

_________________________________

(ECHOING) Beware! Beware!

_________________________________

-Did you hear that, Smee?

-It's an evil spirit, captain.

_________________________________

Stand by, Smee,

while I take a look around.

_________________________________

Spirit of the great seawater, is it?

_________________________________

Psst... Wendy. Watch this.

_________________________________

(IMITATING HOOK) Mr. Smee!

_________________________________

Uh, yes, captain?

_________________________________

Release the princess

and take her back to her people.

_________________________________

Aye, aye, sir. Release the princess...

_________________________________

But... But, captain...

_________________________________

Those are me orders, Mr. Smee!

_________________________________

Aye, aye, sir.

_________________________________

SMEE: Captain Hook's

comin' to his senses.

_________________________________

Odd's fish!

_________________________________

I told him you Indians

wouldn't betray Peter Pan. But...

_________________________________

And just what do you think

you are doing, Mr. Smee?

_________________________________

Just what you told me, captain.

Carryin' out your orders.

_________________________________

My orders?

_________________________________

Yes, captain. Didn't you just say to go...

_________________________________

Put her back! You blithering idiot!

_________________________________

My orders. Of all the bumbling...

_________________________________
PETER: (AS HOOK) Mr. Smee!

_________________________________

Just exactly what do you

think you are doing?

_________________________________

Putting her back like you said, captain.

_________________________________

I said nothing of the sort!

_________________________________

(STAMMERING) But, captain,

didn't you? I thought that...

_________________________________

For the last time, Mr. Smee.

_________________________________

Take the princess back to her people.

_________________________________

Understand?

_________________________________

(ECHOING)

_________________________________

Aye, aye, sir.

_________________________________

Oh. And one more thing.

_________________________________

When you return to the ship,

tell the whole crew

_________________________________

to help themselves to me best rum.

_________________________________

(GASPING) Peter!

_________________________________

Here's your spirit, Smee!

_________________________________

Why, it's Peter Pan.

_________________________________

Whew.

_________________________________

-Scurvy brat!

-Thank you, captain.

_________________________________

Come down, boy,

if you've a taste for cold steel.

_________________________________

Watch this, Wendy.

_________________________________

Oh, Peter, do be careful.

_________________________________

-Try your luck, Mr. Smee?

-HOOK: Let him have it!

_________________________________

HOOK: Well, come on, you idiot!

Blast him!

_________________________________

Right here, Mr. Smee.

_________________________________

Hold it, you fool! No! No!

_________________________________

Captain?

_________________________________

Oh, how dreadful.
_________________________________

_________________________________

You know, waitress,
_________________________________

I have finally figured out

what is wrong with you.
_________________________________

Have you now?
_________________________________

You do not know

how to have fun. There.
_________________________________

-Somebody had to say it.

-Thank you,
_________________________________

because I figured out

what your problem is, too.
_________________________________

I'm too wonderful?
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

No, you're a no-'count, philandering,

lazy bump on a log.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

(COUGHS) Killjoy.
_________________________________

-What did you say?

-Nothing.
_________________________________

-(COUGHS) Stick in the mud.

-Listen here, mister.
_________________________________

This stick in the mud has had to work

two jobs her whole life
_________________________________

while you've been

sucking on a silver spoon
_________________________________

chasing chambermaids

around your ivory tower!
_________________________________

Actually, it's polished marble.
_________________________________

(NAVEEN SHOUTS)
_________________________________

I got me one, boys!

Y'all get that little one over there!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(YELPS)
_________________________________
REGGIE: That's good hunting today,

yes, indeed!
_________________________________

Hunters with guns!
_________________________________

(LOUIS SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Look at them big frog legs.
_________________________________

I want me some corn bread

with this dinner!
_________________________________

Oh, no! A bug got to do

what a bug got to do!
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

I think I done chipped my favorite tooth.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Here I come, Two Fingers! I'll help...
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Pa! We got one!
_________________________________

Shush now! Get on quiet there!
_________________________________

What happened to yours?
_________________________________

Shut your trap, Darnell!
_________________________________

_________________________________

(PANTING) Phil, I did great.

_________________________________

They even applauded, sort of.

_________________________________

-(GROWLING)

-Huh!

_________________________________

I hate to burst your bubble, kid,

but that ain't applause.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

Phil? What do you call that thing?

_________________________________

PHIL: Two words.

_________________________________

(THUNDERING ROAR)

_________________________________

Am-scray!

_________________________________

-(MONSTER HISSING)

-(CROWD SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(ECHOING) Let's get ready to rumble!

_________________________________

That's it. Dance around! Dance around!

_________________________________

Watch the teeth. Watch the teeth.

Keep going. Come on. Come on.

_________________________________

Lead with your left.

Lead with your left! Your other left!

_________________________________

(MONSTER SNARLING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Whoa! (YELLING)

_________________________________

-(SWALLOWS HARD)

-(GROANING)

_________________________________

(LOUD BURP)

_________________________________

-(GROANS)

-(CROWD MUTTERING)

_________________________________

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

(LOUD APPLAUSE)

_________________________________

All right! All right! You're bad! Okay!

_________________________________

See, Phil? That... That wasn't so hard.

_________________________________

Kid, kid, kid.

_________________________________

How many horns do ya see?

_________________________________

Six?

_________________________________

Eh, close enough.

Let's get you cleaned up.

_________________________________

(NERVOUS MUTTERING)

_________________________________

(GULPS)

_________________________________

Guys, guys, relax.

_________________________________

It's only half-time.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(DOOR CREAKS)

_________________________________

Oh, oh.

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

-Why did you come here?

-I'm... I'm sorry.

_________________________________

-I warned you never to come here!

-I didn't mean any harm.

_________________________________

Do you realize

what you could have done?

_________________________________

Please! Stop!

_________________________________

-Get out!

-No!

_________________________________

Get out!

_________________________________

Where are you going?

_________________________________

Promise or no promise,

I can't stay here another minute.

_________________________________

-No, wait, please! Please, wait!

-(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________

_________________________________

I didn't know you had that in you

back there. That was pretty impressive.
_________________________________

I know!
_________________________________

I know.
_________________________________

So... Flynn? Where are you from?
_________________________________

Whoa! Sorry, blondie,

I don't do back-story.
_________________________________

However, I am becoming

very interested in yours.
_________________________________

I know I'm not supposed

to mention the hair.
_________________________________

-Nope.

-Or the mother.
_________________________________

-Uh-uh.

-I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
_________________________________

-Chameleon.

-Nuance.
_________________________________

Here's my question, though,

if you want to see the lanterns so badly
_________________________________

why haven't you gone before?
_________________________________

Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

Well...
_________________________________

(RUMBLING)
_________________________________

Uh, Flynn?
_________________________________

Flynn?
_________________________________

-Rider?

-(MAXIMUS NEIGHING)
_________________________________

Run. Run!
_________________________________

_________________________________

(FAINT RUMBLING)

_________________________________

That doesn't sound good.

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

Definitely not good!

_________________________________

(MONSTER HISSING)

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

-Who's that?

-They don't like me.
_________________________________

-Who's that?

-They don't like me either.
_________________________________

-(NEIGHING FIERCELY)

-Who's that?
_________________________________

Let's assume that everyone in here

doesn't like me.
_________________________________

-Here.

-(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

-(CHUCKLING)

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

I waited a long time for this.
_________________________________

(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Oh, mama!

I have got to get me one of these!
_________________________________

Ha!
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

(NEIGHING CHALLENGINGLY)
_________________________________

(FLYNN GRUNTING)
_________________________________

You should know that this

is the strangest thing I've ever done!
_________________________________

(DISTANT CLATTERING)
_________________________________

How about two out of three?
_________________________________

Flynn!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(NEIGHS IN SURPRISE)
_________________________________

Flynn, look out!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Ha! You should see your faces,

because you look...
_________________________________

(GASPING) ...ridiculous.
_________________________________

(THUDDING)
_________________________________

Come on, blondie! Jump!
_________________________________

(NEIGHING FIERCELY)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Whoa! Whoa!

_________________________________

Will you forget the head-slicing thing?

_________________________________

Hyah!

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

Phil, I don't think we covered

this one in basic training!

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

What a pity, Mr. Smee.

I'm afraid we've lost the dear captain.

_________________________________

Captain!

_________________________________

In the back, captain?

_________________________________

Give it to him, captain!

_________________________________

Cleave him to the brisket!

_________________________________

I've got you this time, Pan.

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

Well, well, a codfish on a hook.

_________________________________

I'll get you for this, Pan,

if it's the last thing I do!

_________________________________

(TICKING)

_________________________________

I say, captain, do you hear something?

_________________________________

No.

_________________________________

No!

_________________________________

No!

_________________________________

PETER: Oh, Mr. Crocodile,

do you like codfish?

_________________________________

-You do?

-Oh, Peter, no!

_________________________________

No!

_________________________________

-Smee!

-D... Don't go away, captain!

_________________________________

Stay right there now, sir. I'll save ya, sir.

_________________________________

Smee!

_________________________________

Smee!

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(MUFFLED) Smee!

_________________________________

Ow!

_________________________________

Captain! Captain!

_________________________________

Smee! Smee!

_________________________________

-Give him back!

-Smee...

_________________________________

Row for the ship! Row for the ship...

_________________________________

Smee!
_________________________________

_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Free!
_________________________________

(SCATTING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(SHOUTS)
_________________________________

(THUDS)
_________________________________

Pa, did you hear that suspicious thud?
_________________________________

Yeah. I sure did.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(SHUSHING)
_________________________________

What are you two gawking at?
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Just missed him!
_________________________________

I will make him pay for his insolence!
_________________________________

Two Fingers!

I need some help over here!
_________________________________

-Now! Go!

-Would you stop that?
_________________________________

(RIFLE COCKING)
_________________________________

Hold still.
_________________________________

No, no, no. No, you idiot, not there!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Watch this.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Missed it!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Get them froggies!
_________________________________

(ALL GROANING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

These two ain't like

no frogs I ever seen.
_________________________________

They smart.
_________________________________

And we talk, too.
_________________________________

(ALL SCREAMING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

(MAN SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(RAPUNZEL SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

(BARKING)

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

No!

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

(YELPING)

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

(MONSTER HISSING)

_________________________________

My favorite part of the game,

_________________________________

-(ROARING)

-(GROANING)

_________________________________

sudden death.

_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-(ROCK CREAKING)

_________________________________

ALL: Huh?

_________________________________

_________________________________

(INHALES)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(INHALES)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
_________________________________

(INHALES)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

It's no use. I can't see anything.
_________________________________

(BREATHING SHALLOWLY)
_________________________________

(INHALES)
_________________________________

Hey, there's no point.

It's pitch-black down there.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(CROWD GASPING)

_________________________________

Oh!

_________________________________

There goes another one.

Just like Achilles.

_________________________________

Game.

_________________________________

Set.

_________________________________

Match.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(DEJECTEDLY) This is all my fault.
_________________________________

She was right.

I never should have done this.
_________________________________

(SNIFFLES)
_________________________________

I'm so...
_________________________________

I'm so sorry, Flynn.
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Eugene.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

My real name is Eugene Fitzherbert.
_________________________________

Someone might as well know.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
_________________________________

I have magic hair

that glows when I sing.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

I have magic hair that glows

when I sing!
_________________________________

(SINGING) Flower gleam and glow
Let your power shine
_________________________________

(BOTH INHALING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(BOTH COUGHING)
_________________________________

We made it.
_________________________________

-Her hair glows.

-We're alive. I'm alive!
_________________________________

-I didn't see that coming.

-Eugene?
_________________________________

The hair actually glows.
_________________________________

-Why does her hair glow?

-Eugene!
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

It doesn't just glow.
_________________________________

Why is he smiling at me?

_________________________________

(CROWS LIKE ROOSTER)

_________________________________

Peter, what about Tiger Lily?

_________________________________

Tiger Lily? Oh, Tiger Lily.

_________________________________

Help...

_________________________________

Peter. Wait for me.
_________________________________

_________________________________
(THUNDER CLAPPING)
_________________________________
Is it raining in there?
_________________________________

It's raining out here, too.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: As a matter of fact,

_________________________________

it was raining

all over the Hundred Acre Wood.

_________________________________
There was a thunderstorm on page 71.

_________________________________
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
_________________________________
And on page 73,

there was a bit of a cloudburst.

_________________________________
It rained and it rained and it rained.

_________________________________
The rain, rain, rain

came down, down, down
_________________________________

In rushing rising rivulets
_________________________________

Till the river crept out of its bed
_________________________________

And crept right into Piglet's
_________________________________

Poor Piglet he was frightened
_________________________________

With quite a rightful fright
_________________________________

And so in desperation
_________________________________

A message he did write

_________________________________
(READING)
_________________________________

He placed it in a bottle
_________________________________

And it floated out of sight
_________________________________

And the rain, rain, rain

came down, down, down
_________________________________

So Piglet started bailing
_________________________________

He was unaware atop his chair

while bailing he was sailing
_________________________________

And the rain, rain, rain

came down, down, down
_________________________________

And the flood rose up, up, upper
_________________________________

Pooh too was caught

and so he thought
_________________________________

I must rescue my supper
_________________________________

Ten honey pots he rescued

Enough to see him through
_________________________________

But as he sopped up his supper
_________________________________

The river sopped up Pooh
_________________________________

And the water twirled and tossed him
_________________________________

In a honey pot canoe
_________________________________

Rain, rain, rain

came down, down, down
_________________________________

When the rain, rain, rain

came down, down, down

_________________________________

NARRATOR: So the Hundred

Acre Wood got floodier and floodier.

_________________________________

But the water couldn't come up

to Christopher Robin's house...
_________________________________

so that's where

everyone was gathering.
_________________________________

It was a time of great excitement.

_________________________________
But in the midst of all the excitement,

_________________________________
Eeyore stubbornly stuck to his task

of house-hunting for Owl.

_________________________________

EEYORE: There's one.

_________________________________

Cozy cottage. Nice location.
_________________________________

A bit damp for Owl, though.
_________________________________

Meanwhile, little Roo made

an important discovery.

_________________________________
Look! I've rescued a bottle.
_________________________________

And it's got something in it, too.
_________________________________

It's a message, and it says...
_________________________________

(READING)
_________________________________

Owl, you fly over to Piglet's house,
_________________________________

and tell him we'll make a rescue.
_________________________________

A rescue? Yes, yes.

Of course, of course.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: So Owl flew out

over the flood

_________________________________

and he soon spotted two
tiny objects below him.

_________________________________
One was little Piglet

caught in the whirlpool,

_________________________________
and the other was Pooh,
_________________________________
trying to get the last bit
of honey from the pot.
_________________________________

Yum, yum.
_________________________________

Oh, Owl, I don't mean to complain,

but I'm afraid. I'm scared.
_________________________________

Now, now, Piglet, chin up

and all that sort of thing.
_________________________________

A rescue is being thought of.
_________________________________

Be brave, little Piglet.
_________________________________

It's awfully hard to be brave

when you're such a small animal.
_________________________________

To divert your small mind from
your unfortunate predicament,
_________________________________

I shall tell you an amusing anecdote.
_________________________________

It concerns a cousin of mine,
_________________________________

who became so frightened

during a flood that he...
_________________________________

I beg your pardon, Owl, but I think
_________________________________

we're coming to a flutterfall,

a flatterfall, a very big waterfall.
_________________________________

Please, no interruptions.
_________________________________

Ah, there you are, Pooh bear.
_________________________________

Now, to continue my story...
_________________________________

Look, there's Pooh. Over here, Pooh!
_________________________________

Oh, hello, Christopher Robin.
_________________________________

Pooh, thank goodness you're safe.

_________________________________

-Have you seen Piglet?

-PIGLET: Excuse me, I have...

_________________________________

What I mean is, here I am!
_________________________________

-Pooh, you rescued Piglet.

-I did?
_________________________________

Yes, and it was a very brave thing to do.
_________________________________

It was?
_________________________________

-You are our hero.

-I am?
_________________________________

As soon as the flood is over,

I shall give you a hero party.
_________________________________

_________________________________

-(GROANS)

-(ROCK CREAKING)

_________________________________

(CROWD GASPING)

_________________________________

(CHEERING)

_________________________________

Phil, you gotta admit.

That was pretty heroic.

_________________________________

Ya did it, kid! Ya did it!

You won by a landslide!

_________________________________

(STRAINING)

_________________________________

Hades mad.

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

Well, what do ya know?

_________________________________

From that day forward,

our boy Hercules could do no wrong.

_________________________________

He was so hot, steam looked cool.

_________________________________
(SINGING) Oh, yeah

_________________________________

Bless my soul

Herc was on a roll

_________________________________

Person of the week

in every Greek opinion poll

_________________________________

-What a pro

-Herc could stop a show

_________________________________

Point him at a monster

and you're talkin' SRO

_________________________________

-He was a no one

-A zero, zero

_________________________________

-Now he's a honcho

-He's a hero

_________________________________

Here was a kid with his act down pat

_________________________________

Zero to hero in no time flat

_________________________________
-Zero to hero

-Just like that (SNAPS)

_________________________________

When he smiled the girls went wild

_________________________________

With oohs and aahs

_________________________________

And they slapped his face

on every vase

_________________________________

On every "vahse"

_________________________________

From appearance fees and royalties

_________________________________

Our Herc had cash to burn

_________________________________

Now nouveau riche and famous

_________________________________

He could tell you what's a Grecian urn

_________________________________

Say amen, there he goes again

_________________________________

-Sweet and undefeated

-And an awesome 10-for-10

_________________________________

Folks lined up just to watch him flex

_________________________________

And this perfect package

packed a pair of pretty pecs

_________________________________

Hercie, he comes

he sees, he conquers

_________________________________

Honey, the crowds were goin' bonkers

_________________________________

He showed the moxie

brains and spunk

_________________________________

Yeah

_________________________________

-From zero to hero

-A major hunk

_________________________________

-Zero to hero

-And who'd have thunk?

_________________________________

Who put the glad in gladiator?

_________________________________

Hercules

_________________________________

Who's darin' deeds are great theatre?

_________________________________

Hercules

_________________________________

-Isn't he bold?

-No one braver

_________________________________

-Is he sweet?

-Our favourite flavour

_________________________________

Hercules

_________________________________

My man.

_________________________________

-Hercules

-Hercules

_________________________________

Hercules

_________________________________

-Hercules

-Look at my Hercules

_________________________________

-Hercules, Hercules

-Yeah, yeah, yeah

_________________________________

Bless my soul, Herc was on a roll

_________________________________

-Undefeated

-Riding high

_________________________________

And the nicest guy.

_________________________________

Not conceited

_________________________________

-He was a nothing

-Zero, zero

_________________________________

-Now he's a honcho

-He's our hero

_________________________________

He hit the heights at breakneck speed

_________________________________

-From zero to hero

-(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Herc is a hero

_________________________________

Now he's a hero

_________________________________

Yes, indeed

_________________________________

(GRUNTING, PANTING)

_________________________________

Pull!

_________________________________

Nice shootin', Rex.

_________________________________

I can't believe this guy.

_________________________________

I throw everything I've got at him

and it doesn't even...

_________________________________

(RUBBER SQUEAKING)

_________________________________

What are those?

_________________________________

Um, I don't know.

I thought they looked kinda dashing.

_________________________________

I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo,

_________________________________

or the entire scheme I've been setting

up for 18 years goes up in smoke,

_________________________________

and you are wearing his merchandise!

_________________________________

(SLURPING)

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Thirsty?

_________________________________

(YELL ECHOING)

_________________________________

(BOTH GROANING)

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Looks like your game's over.

_________________________________

Wonderboy is hitting

every curve you throw at him.

_________________________________

Oh, yeah. (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

I wonder if maybe

_________________________________

I haven't been throwing

the right curves at him, Meg, my sweet.

_________________________________

Don't even go there.

_________________________________

See, he's gotta have a weakness

because everybody's got a weakness.

_________________________________

I mean, for what?

Pandora, it was the box thing.

_________________________________

For the Trojans, hey.

They bet on the wrong horse, okay?

_________________________________

We simply need to

find out Wonderboy's.

_________________________________

I've done my part. Get your little imps...

_________________________________

They couldn't handle him as a baby.

_________________________________

I need somebody

who can handle him as a man.

_________________________________

Hey, I've sworn off manhandling.

_________________________________

That's good because that's what

got you into this jam in the first place.

_________________________________

You sold your soul to me

to save your boyfriend's life.

_________________________________

And how does this creep thank you?

_________________________________

By running off with some babe.

_________________________________

He hurt you real bad,

didn't he, Meg, huh?

_________________________________

Look, I learned my lesson, okay?

_________________________________

Which is exactly why I got a feelin'

you're gonna leap at my new offer.

_________________________________

You give me the key

to bringing down Wonder Breath,

_________________________________

and I give you the thing that

you crave most in the entire cosmos,

_________________________________

your freedom.

_________________________________

(URN SHATTERS)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(SOFT GROAN)

_________________________________

Here, now. Don't do that.

_________________________________

(SNARLS)

_________________________________

Just hold still.

_________________________________

(ROARS)

_________________________________

That hurts!

_________________________________

If you'd hold still,

it wouldn't hurt as much!

_________________________________

Well, if you hadn't have run away,

this wouldn't have happened.

_________________________________

If you hadn't frightened me,

I wouldn't have run away.

_________________________________

Well, you shouldn't have been

in the west wing!

_________________________________

Well, you should learn

to control your temper.

_________________________________

Now, hold still. This might sting a little.

_________________________________

Hmm? (GRUNTS)

_________________________________

By the way,

thank you for saving my life.

_________________________________

You're welcome.

_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

You all right there, little bug?
_________________________________

I'm fine. But your breath

done near kill me to death.
_________________________________

-Would you mind?

-I got you covered, brah.
_________________________________

Much obliged, peewee.
_________________________________

Now how about the other side?
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

"And we talk, too." I like that.

You are secretly funny.
_________________________________

-Not a stick in the mud? Say it. Say it.

-Well, I wouldn't go...
_________________________________

-All right. You're not exactly...

-I can't hear you. I'm sorry. What?
_________________________________

...a complete stick deep in the mud.
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Easy. Easy!
_________________________________

-This one's in there, ain't it? Hold on.

-Holy...
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Chére, I know we gots to get

to Mama Odie lickety-split,
_________________________________

but this particular extractification

is going to take a while.
_________________________________

Yeah.
_________________________________

Poor Louis.
_________________________________

You know what would make me

feel better?
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Crawfish smothered in

remoulade sauce... Mercy!
_________________________________

-RAY: Just a little more!

-With some Bananas Foster
_________________________________

sprinkled with pralines...
_________________________________

Oh, Mama!
_________________________________

-How about some swamp gumbo?

-That will do.
_________________________________

(SHOUTING)
_________________________________

Sounds delicious.

I'll start with a pre-dinner cocktail
_________________________________

and something to nibble on

while I wait. Thanks.
_________________________________

No, no, no, your royal highness.
_________________________________

You are going to

mince these mushrooms.
_________________________________

-(STUTTERS) Do what?

-Mince the mushrooms!
_________________________________

Hop to it!
_________________________________

-Little ridiculous.

-TIANA: Are you mincing?
_________________________________

All right! Relax.
_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

(EXHALES DEEPLY)
_________________________________

One.
_________________________________

Step aside, mister.
_________________________________

Watch and learn.
_________________________________

Oh! All right.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

-There you go.

-You know,
_________________________________

I've never done

anything like this before.
_________________________________

-Really?

-All right.
_________________________________

But when you live in a castle,

everything is done for you.
_________________________________

All the time. They dress you.

They feed you. Drive you.
_________________________________

Brush your teeth.
_________________________________

Oh, poor baby.
_________________________________

I admit it was a charmed life

until the day my parents cut me off,
_________________________________

and suddenly I realized
_________________________________

I don't know how to do anything.
_________________________________

Well, hey, you got the makings

of a decent mushroom mincer.
_________________________________

You think so?
_________________________________

Keep practicing

and I just might hire you.
_________________________________

-Really?

-No.
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

Come on! What was that?

That was below the frog belt.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Great.

I failed for the third time in a row.
_________________________________

At this rate, I should get to

the mainland right about... Oh... Never!
_________________________________

(METALLIC CLANG)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

Yes!
_________________________________

Sil!
_________________________________

(MELODY PLAYS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________

Beautiful.
_________________________________

(MELODY PLAYING)
_________________________________

FAWN: You fixed it!
SILVERMIST: Wow!

_________________________________
IRIDESSA: Beautiful!
ROSETTA: Amazing!

_________________________________

What are you guys doing here?
_________________________________
IRIDESSA: It might be

the sparkliest thing I've ever seen,
_________________________________

and I've seen a lot of sparkly things!
_________________________________

It's a really pretty thingy. What is it?
_________________________________

I don't know. I just found it.
_________________________________

Tinker Bell, don't you even realize

what you're doing? You're tinkering!
_________________________________

What? No, no, this isn't... I was just...
_________________________________

Creating those gadgets,

figuring things out, fixing stuff like this,
_________________________________

that's what tinkering is, sweetie!
_________________________________

Don't you like doing this?

Isn't it what you really love?
_________________________________

Yeah! Who cares about

going to the mainland, anyway?
_________________________________

Well, I do, remember?
_________________________________

I want to see

where these things come from.
_________________________________

Why are you saying this?

Are you just giving up on me?
_________________________________

I mean, aren't you going to teach me

to be a garden fairy anymore?
_________________________________

Sweet pea, I think this is your talent.
_________________________________

Tink, we just want you to be happy.
_________________________________

If you really want me to be happy,

you'll help me get to the mainland
_________________________________

like you promised.
_________________________________

Please, Tinker Bell, just think about it.
_________________________________

_________________________________