A Never Pirate - Subtitles (en) - Search for video captions

(WHISTLING)
(GULLS SQUAWKING)
MAN: (WITH SCOTTISH ACCENT)
I was Flint's first mate that voyage,
three days east of Tortola
in the Caribie.
Flint knew an island.
That's where we buried the treasure.
Gold and blood,
they were Flint's trademarks.
He'd leave both behind him that day.
♪ Shiver my timbers shiver my soul
♪ Yo ho, heave ho
♪ There are men whose hearts are black as coal
♪ Yo ho, heave ho
♪ And they sailed their ship 'cross the ocean blue
♪ A bloodthirsty captain and a cutthroat crew
♪ It's as dark a tale as was ever told
♪ Of the lust for treasure and the love of gold
♪ Shiver my timbers shiver my sides
♪ Yo ho, heave ho
♪ There are hungers as strong as the wind and tides
♪ Yo ho, heave ho
♪ And as those buccaneers drown their sins in rum
♪ The devil himself would have to call them scum
♪ Every man aboard would have killed his mate
♪ For a bag of guineas or a piece of eight
♪ A piece of eight
-♪ A piece of eight -♪ A five, six, seven, eight
♪ Hulla wacka, ulla wacka something not right
♪ Many wicked icky things gonna happen tonight
♪ Hulla wacka, moolah wacka sailor man beware
♪ Where de money in de ground dere's murder in de air
♪ Murder in the air
One more time now
♪ Shiver my timbers shiver my bones
♪ Yo ho, heave ho
♪ There are secrets that sleep with old Davy Jones
♪ Yo ho, heave ho
♪ When the mainsail's set and the anchor's weighed
♪ There's no turning back from any course that's laid
♪ And when greed and villainy sail the sea
♪ You can bet your boots there'll be treachery
(LAUGHING)
♪ Shiver my timbers shiver my sails
♪ Dead men tell no tales ♪
(GUNSHOTS)
(FAIRIES CHATTERING
INDISTINCTLY)
(ALL LAUGHING)
♪ If I could reach the top of the world
♪ Be all I am
It'd be so beautiful
♪ If only I could be brave
and I could be strong
♪ I would know where I belong
(LAUGHING)
♪ If only
♪ I wanna feel free to be who I am
♪ What I'm about is more than I've been
♪ Ready to show the world who I am
Oh!
A little bit of sun.
Oh, look!
Hey, Zarina!
Oh.
Out of pixie dust again, sug?
(CHUCKLING) You know me, Rosetta.
I could give you some tips
on conserving your supply.
I may just take you up on that, Dessa.
A Dust Keeper Fairy
who's always out of pixie dust.
Ironic, isn't it?
Right there. Nice. Okay.
Rinse time!
Time to dry!
Hey, Z! Wings okay?
Just enjoying a stroll. But thanks, Fawn.
Nice wind, Vidia.
-Thanks. What's a "stroll"? -(CHIRPING)
(LAUGHING)
Oh, no!
♪ So I could be who I am
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ I'm closer to where I'm meant to be
♪ If I try I know that I can get there
♪ I'm not gonna stop 'cause I believe
-(BLOWS) -(FAIRY BLOWING CONCH)
♪ That there's so much more to me
♪ So much more
(GRUNTING)
♪ I wanna feel free to be who I am
♪ What I'm about is more than I've been
♪ Ready to show the world who I am
♪ Started it out, but I'm holding in
♪ Find my own place to stay
♪ So I can be who I am ♪
Uh...
We put the dust in the bags
and they stay there, right?
And yet, we sprinkle dust
on top of something,
and it floats.
(ALL GASP)
Well, that's just how pixie dust works.
Well, yes, I know,
but "Why?" is the question.
Know what I mean?
Not even a little?
Never once had the thought?
FAIRY GARY: Good morning,
-Dust Keepers! -Oh!
DUST KEEPER FAIRIES:
Good morning, Fairy Gary!
All right, let's see.
On blue dust duty today we have, uh...
-What were we on? -"Y."
Ah! Yes. Yvette.
Yvette is out for the day, Fairy Gary.
Dust-Keeper elbow flared up again.
(GASPS) That's fantastic!
I mean, poor, poor Yvette.
Well, um, that brings us to...
"Z."
(SIGHS)
Zarina, you're up!
Uh-oh.
Can you believe it?
I mean, one day early.
It's so exciting!
Uh... Six clicks to the right.
Yes, thank you.
-Wow. -Careful, now!
After last time,
I'm sure I don't have to remind you
just how potent and powerful...
-No touching, I promise. -Attagirl!
All right, then. Exactly 26 specks.
But why 26?
-And here we go. -Why not 25?
What would happen
if we put in, say, 27?
-We put in 26. -But why?
Ah, Zarina, you're the most
inquisitive fairy I've ever known.
Correction, it's a tie.
Let's just say, you're the Tinker Bell
of Dust Keepers.
But why do you say it
like it's a bad thing?
Because we don't work
with twigs and acorn caps.
We work with pixie dust.
It's our lifeblood.
There's no room for error.
(LAUGHS)
Blue dust.
One of nature's mightiest multipliers.
It takes the golden dust
from a trickle to a roar.
No matter how many times
I see it, just... Wow!
Indeed.
Okay, but if there's blue dust,
why can't there be other colors?
Because there aren't.
And maybe those other colors
do other things.
What if there was, I don't know, purple?
(GASPS)
What if there's pink?
(LAUGHS)
The day someone finds pink pixie dust
is the day I trade in my kilt for trousers.
Well, what if we don't find it?
What if we make it?
Listen carefully, Zarina.
We do not tamper with pixie dust.
It is far too powerful.
But if we don't,
we'll never fully understand
what it's capable of.
That is not our job.
We're Dust Keepers.
We nurture the dust, maintain it,
measure it, package it,
and distribute it.
A beautiful tradition, day in, day out,
-passed from one generation... -(BLOWS)
-...to the next, to the next, to the next. -Oh!
(GASPS)
(ZARINA GASPS)
-Oh! Ahh! -Oh, no!
-Fairy Gary! -(GROANS)
-Are you okay? -(GRUNTS)
Technically, I didn't touch it this time.
The cap?
Let me be absolutely clear, Zarina.
Dust Keepers are forbidden
to tamper with pixie dust.
MAN: (WITH SCOTTISH ACCENT)
Oh, aye.
Fifteen men went ashore that day,
and only Flint, his own self, returned.
Oh, aye, and then old Flinty
up and died before they could get
back to that cursed island
and get the treasure.
No one knows to this day
who has old Flint's map.
ALL: Now, isn't that a story
worth the hearing?
It was the first dozen times we heard it.
I'll drink to that.
(CHUCKLES)
But who has the map now, huh?
Some black-hearted,
squid-sucking buccaneer?
Or maybe it's
our very own Jane Hawkins!
Eh, Janny?
If I had it, my friends and I
wouldn't be here
serving you rum, Mr. Bones.
That's right.
We'd be searching for that treasure,
sailing the seven seas
on a five-year mission,
boldly going where no man
has gone before.
-Say, that's catchy! -Huh. Not me.
(CHUCKLES) If I had that treasure map,
I'd tradin' it for a decent meal.
Hey, Gonzo, you think
he's gonna eat this?
Aye! Beware the one-legged man!
He's the one to fear!
Don't worry, Captain.
We'll watch for him.
Yeah, I'll watch for him..
If he's deliverin' a pizza.
(LAUGHING) Oh!
Even old Flinty feared him.
If he comes pokin' 'round here,
you run for me whippety-quick!
-If we see him, we'll tell you. -Yeah. One leg, three heads,
couple of dozen noses,
if anything weird happens...
And it'll be nay jokin' matter, hose nose.
The one-legged man brings death.
WOMAN: Time, gentlemen!
-Closing time! -(ALL GROANING)
Ya pays your bills
and then ya shove off.
-Go on, out ya go! -(MOOING)
(GROANS, SIGHS)
-You're drunk again, are ya? -(MOOS)
Boys, look at the state of this place!
How comes it gets to be
such a pigsty, huh?
Pigsty? Hey!
No offense meant, gentlemen, sirs.
No offense meant.
-Here's to you, boys. -WOMAN: Time!
-I'm away to my room. -PATRON: Thank you, Mr. Bones.
GONZO: Thank you, Billy. WOMAN: There you go! Don't forget
to come back tomorrow
for our lunchtime special.
-Roast suckling... -TOGETHER: Huh?
Potatoes, sir.
-(CHUCKLING) Potatoes. -Oh. All right.
-No... No offense, madam. No offense. -Ha!
(GROWLS)
All right, boys.
(RASPBERRY)
When you're finished here,
you can go and clean up in the kitchen.
I left some table scraps
in there for your supper.
Oh, yes, and, boys,
last night you forgot
to put out the lantern!
If you forget that again,
there'll be no table scraps for a week!
(GROWLS)
Hmm.
No result.
No result. No result.
No result. Ugh!
Huh?
Hmm.
Two parts sunflower seed,
a dash of moonflower.
(GASPING)
Huh.
(GASPS)
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(LAUGHING)
It worked!
Oh! Hey, Zarina!
-What brings you... -Tinker Bell...
-...here? -Remember how you were
the first one to use lost things,
and everyone thought
you were kind of crazy?
I believe Fairy Mary called them "junk."
Exactly! But now, even she uses them
and tinkering is better than ever.
Well, that's nice of...
And remember how you crossed
the Winter border
when you knew it wasn't allowed,
but you just had to anyway?
I like to think it was more of a grey area.
-Good. Now, keep that in mind. -Whoa!
TINKER BELL: You...
You're bending light.
You're bending light?
But you're not a Light Fairy.
You're a Dust Keeper.
Amazing, right?
Uh, but, how?
Whoa!
You found orange pixie dust?
No, Tink. I made orange pixie dust.
That's never been done before.
Exactly! I knew you'd understand.
Now, I can finally figure out
everything pixie dust is capable of.
Oh, what does Fairy Gary
think about all this?
Uh...
-He doesn't exactly know. -What?
ZARINA: He doesn't really think
we should tamper with pixie dust.
-Do you mind stirring? -Uh, okay.
I guess he thinks it's just too powerful.
-Oh! You can't stop. -Oh! Uh...
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
Is that blue dust?
You're doing this with blue dust?
Yes, and it just takes the tiniest bit.
Can you believe it?
-Back up a little. -Uh...
ZARINA: Huh.
(SCREAMS)
(GASPS)
-Wow. -ZARINA: Purple pixie dust.
(GASPS) Wind!
Purple equals fast-flying talent!
Huh. (GASPS)
-Uh... -(GIGGLES)
-Garden talent next! -Uh...
-Zarina? -Pink pixie dust...
Maybe you should, you know,
slow down a bit.
Five pieces of petal
for every three drops of extract.
-Uh, should it be bubbling like that? -Mmm-hmm.
Two? This time you're adding two?
Uh-huh.
(BOTH YELP)
Zarina! Are you okay?
Tinker Fairy Gary some trousers,
because I just made pink pixie dust.
Zarina, this seems kind of dangerous.
Do you know what this means, Tink?
I've finally found my "lost things."
Dust-keeping will change forever!
Zarina, I really think you should stop!
What? (YELPS)
(GASPS)
(RUMBLING)
(BOTH GASP)
Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no.
-(ALL GASPING) -MALE FAIRY: Whoa! Look out!
(GASPS)
(YELPS)
(SCREAMING)
Huh?
(GASPING)
Oh, no!
No! (GRUNTING)
Ow! Oh!
Oh, no!
Whoa!
(FAIRY GARY GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
(COUGHING)
(SIGHING)
Huh?
No...
Hmm?
(PANTING)
CLARION: Oh!
How did this happen?
(PANTING)
-(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY) -Oh, no!
What happened?
-Tink, are you okay? -Oh, my.
-Yeah. -Who grew these?
(FAIRY GARY CLEARING THROAT)
I'm so sorry. I'll help rebuild the depot.
I'll come in early, I'll stay late!
You were told not
to tamper with pixie dust.
I think it's best
if you don't come in at all.
What are you saying?
You are no longer a Dust Keeper.
It's simply too dangerous.
We'll start rebuilding in the morning,
Queen Clarion.
(SIGHS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
-ELSA: Her head is so bright? -(BABY COOING)
Will it shine at night?
IDUNA: (LAUGHS) No, no.
Anna had golden hair. That's all.
♪ This flowing water
♪ Reflects the sun in your eyes
♪ I wish you could see
♪ The part of me that I must hide inside
♪ They think I can control it But as time goes by
♪ This power's getting stronger
♪ Who am I?
♪ Will I be defined by this curse I hold inside
♪ Could I be deprived of a life that I deserve
♪ Just because life thru me a curve
♪ I'm just a girl, with a touch of ice
(BOTH GIGGLING)
♪ For you, it's easy To be who you really are
♪ I wish you could give The true kiss that wakes me up inside
♪ But nothing can control this And as years go by
♪ It will only get stronger
♪ Who am I?
(LAUGHING)
♪ Will I be defined by this curse I hold inside
♪ Could I be deprived of a life that I deserve
♪ Just because life thru me a curve
♪ I'm so much more, than just a touch of ice
♪ What would I give You hold your hand in mine
♪ And really live
♪ Who am I?
Anna!
♪ Could I be deprived of a life that I deserve
♪ Just because life thru me a curve
♪ I'm warm inside, I'm warm inside
♪ With not much to hide, well...
♪ Just a touch of ice ♪
GONZO: (GRUNTING) You're standing
on my ear!
Easy. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, Rizzo!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
That's it. Steady.
-I hate my life. -I hate your life too.
If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I should just run off to sea
like my father did.
He was my age when he sailed to
China as a cabin boy.
He wound up a first mate.
Run off to sea
and just leave everybody?
Who's everybody?
I'm an orphan. I've got no family.
-Hey, you got us! -Yeah, we're family. Ah, got it.
-Whoa! Oh! -Oh!
Ow!
(BOTH GROANING)
I mean, some family we are.
Be serious, Rizzo.
We don't exactly look alike.
Okay, all right.
So I'm a rat and you're human being
-and Gonzo's a, uh... -Uh, whatever.
Yeah. I mean, we're still...
We're still family.
Yeah. Yeah,
but I wish my life were more like
one of Captain Bones' adventures.
sailing the high seas
and searching for buried treasure.
Yeah, discovering
lost islands and weird civilizations.
Navigating with
my father's old compass.
to wherever the wind may take us.
Off to Zanzibar
to meet the Zanzibarbarians.
Here they go again.
To the southwest, pirate galleons!
To the southeast, multi-armed
Zanzibanian shark women
and their exploding wigs of death!
WOMAN: To the northwest,
dirty dishes!
How does she do that?
-Might as well start. I'll wash. -Yeah. I'll dry.
GONZO: I'll break!
♪ I look around here and I want to cry
-Ah, me too! -Yeah.
♪ I feel like the world is passing me by
Hey, hey, hey!
It is.
♪ And I just can't help but wonder
♪ Am I doomed to wash and dry
♪ and is it a curse I'm under to do it 'til I die
-Oh, I hope not! -Yeah.
♪ When I could be an explorer
Sure ya could.
♪ Sailing off to distant lands
Not so fast.
♪ Instead of spending every afternoon
♪ Just getting dishpan hands
♪ My future looks like nowhere that I want to be
♪ There's gotta be something better
♪ Something better
♪ There's got to be something better than this for me
Well, now you're talkin'!
♪ If it's weird and wild let's go and finds it
(LAUGHING)
♪ The crazier, the better is what I say
Yeah, that's true.
(CHUCKLES)
♪ To tell the truth I really wouldn't mind it
Mind what?
♪ If we found someplace with 10 square meals a day
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
♪ Let danger call my name
♪ If it does I'm gonna hide
♪ I'll put my courage to the test
♪ And I'll be by your side
♪ He'll be by your side
♪ There's gotta be something better than this
-♪Something more than this -♪ I know that there's so much out there
-♪ To see -♪ To see
♪ And I know this life I'm living
♪ Can't be my destiny
♪ There's gotta be something better
♪ Something better
♪ There's got to be something better than this for me
-And me! -Wait a minute. What about me?
♪ There's something better than this for you and me ♪
Enough with this singin'!
Rum! I need rum, lads!
I got the horrors! Give me rum!
-(SHOUTS) -Rum 'til I float!
All right! All right! Just one small one.
WOMAN: Don't be giving him
any more rum!
How does she bloody do that?
-(CLANKING) -Shh! Shh!
(KNOCKING)
(LAUGHING) Billy Bones!
It's me, Blind Pew.
I know you're here, Billy.
Oh! Ah!
Ya sniveling coward!
It's some kind of a blind fiend.
I believe they prefer
"visually challenged fiend."
Ah! I heard that! There's someone here!
Ooh! Uh, no.
Over here!
(GROWLS) Hmm, over here!
(CHUCKLING)
-(TRUMPETS) -(LAUGHING)
Billy Bones! Ah, I'd know
that scurvy mug of yours anywhere.
-(TRUMPETING) -Excuse me, sir, the bar is closed.
-Oh-ho! -(GRUNTS) Ah!
Aha! A pretty little girl, is it?
Yes. Take me to Billy Bones, my pet.
JANE: (STAMMERING)
You've come to the wrong place.
There's no Billy Bones here,
and I'm not pretty.
Oh, I am visually challenged,
but I can see you're lying.
Huh?
(SHRIEKING)
Good evening, Bill.
I know it's you.
Yes. You thought
you could get away with it, didn't you?
Just take it all for yourself
and leave your shipmates with nothing.
(SIGHS) We're not pleased
with that, Bill. Not at all.
We want you to have this!
(LAUGHING)
Oh! Ah! Oh-ho-ho!
Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
Oh! Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
(CLEARING THROAT)
(CAT SCREECHES)
Watch where you're going,
you stupid cat!
The black spot!
(SCREAMS)
But I don't understand.
What is the black spot?
The black spot's
a pirate's death sentence!
-Whoa! -Fabulous.
They'll be comin' to kill me tonight!
-RIZZO: We'd better help. -Yeah, let's get some stuff.
It's my old sea chest
them lubbers are after!
Underwear.
But I'll trick them! I'll shake out
another reef and daddle 'em again!
You wanna run that
by us again in English, Mr. Bones?
It's mine!
I'm goin' for that treasure myself!
And no one-legged son
of a bilge rat will...
(GAGGING)
Captain Bones!
He died? And this is supposed
to be a kids' movie!
-Oh. -Oh.
Jimmy. Jim. Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.
You've always
been a decent sort to old Billy Bones.
But I'm not Jimmy, Jim, Jimmy,
Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.
He's Jimmy, Jim, Jimmy, Jim,
Jim, Jim, Jim.
-Jim! -Yes, Captain.
Jim, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.
-Yes, Captain. What is it? -Take the map!
-What map? -The map to old Flint's treasure!
Don't ya understand
what I been tellin' ya?
I was Flinty's first mate!
We all were! Blind Pew and me!
Ah, me old shipmates
they'll gully me for sure!
And anybody else to get
their mitts on that map!
(STAMMERING)
And gullying hurts, right?
-Oh, aye! A lot! -(WHIMPERING)
So quick! Go to my sea chest!
Get the map!
-Oh! -Oh, yeah!
-(GRUNTING) Oh! -Oh, there. There.
Oh, I think I've... Oh no.
-Hey, guys, look! -Rizzo!
(LAUGHS)
-Oh, here! How about this? -Let's see.
-(GRUNTS) -Oh.
-(GRUNTING) Whoops. -(GRUNTING)
Here, what's this?
-Hey, Rizzo, look. -(GASPS) Oh.
-It is a treasure map. -We're gonna be rich.
We're gonna be dead.
-Beware, lads! -(BOTH SCREAM)
Beware!
-What? The one-legged man? -Aye! But also,
beware runnin' with scissors
or other pointy objects.
It's all good fun 'til somebody loses an...
(GROANS)
Captain?
(GULPS)
We're standing in a room
with a dead guy!
-(BOTH SCREAMING) -(SCREAMING)
Jim! Ah!
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
-(GLASS SHATTERS) -(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
-(ALL GROWL) -(WHIMPERING)
Oh, Billy Bones! Trick or treat!
(LAUGHING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Don't try to hide, Billy!
You know what we want!
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
-(GROWLS) -(PIRATES SHOUTING)
Where are ya, Billy Bones?
Where are ya, Billy?
(SHOUTING CONTINUES)
JANE: (POUNDING ON DOOR)
Mrs. Bluveridge!
There's no use in hiding!
(GROWLS)
JANE: Please! Please!
Can't a woman get her beauty
sleep anymore?
-(GLASS SHATTERS) -Ooh! Jim, what you doing?
Aha! Aha! Ah? Oh!
Voila!
(LAUGHS)
(CHIMES RINGING)
-Okay, okay. I found the gun. Okay. -Oh, now we gotta load it.
-(GRUNTING) Oops. -(GRUNTING)
(SNEEZES)
Okay, where does
Mrs. Bluveridge keep the bullets?
-(ALL GROWLING) -Billy's dead,
and he hasn't got the bloody map!
(SNARLS)
-Those little girls must have it. -Yeah!
-Get them! -ALL: Yeah!
-Gonzo! Gonzo! -What? What?
I found the bullets.
See? Here they are. They...
-Oops. -(ALL SNARL)
Open up in there! We wants the map,
and we'll skewer anybody
that gets in the way!
Quick, Jim! The back stairs!
(PIRATES SHOUTING)
Come on.
Run! Run!
-(GUNSHOTS) -Ooh!
(ALL SNARLING, LAUGHING)
(GROWLS)
Get out of my inn,
you tattooed miseries!
(ALL SHOUTING, GRUNTING)
Can't a woman
get a night's sleep alone?
-You come here, you! -(GIBBERING)
This gun is useless!
-You lost all the bullets! -Well, you're losin' the powder.
-(BOTH SCREAM) -The map!
Tell us where it is or die!
-(BOTH SCREAMING) -BLACK DOG: Get them!
-(SCREAMING CONTINUES) -Run! Run, run, run!
(SCREAMS)
PIRATES: Hurry! Hurry!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
No! Outta the way! Get outta the way!
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
Stop!
Oh, woof.
(SCREAMS)
Ow!
-(EXPLOSION) -GONZO: Ah! Geronimo!
-(GRUNTS) -Guys!
-Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! -Wow! What an exit!
-Right through a brick wall! -I am in such pain.
-Come on. -(EXPLOSION)
-I think I smell something burning, no? -(PIRATES SHOUTING)
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
-We can't go home, so... -(SHOUTING CONTINUES)
-Ooh. -Oh, no! Uh-uh!
No way! You're not takin' me on
some crazy treasure hunt!
-I am staying right here! -Oh, good idea, Rizzo.
Then you can see what
half-burned, vicious pirates look like.
What are we waitin' for?
-Gimme that map. Let's go. -(LAUGHING)
Wait a minute.
What about Mrs. Bluveridge?
(MRS. BLUVERIDGE SNARLS)
(GROANING)
-I'll be fine, boys! Run for it! -(GROANS)
ALL: How does she do that?
-(SCREAMING) -Who's gonna clean all this up?
FAIRY ANNOUNCER:
Welcome one, welcome all
to the Four Seasons Festival!
Tonight, every talent
from every season will gather together
to celebrate all the realms
of Pixie Hollow.
Wow! Can you believe it?
Everyone in Pixie Hollow is here!
It's so great to have
the Winter Fairies join us.
I'll say it is.
(SIGHS)
It's enough to give you the vapors.
(TINKER BELL GRUNTING)
Tinker Bell, don't you Tinkers
ever stop tinkering?
Can't seem to get this latch to open!
(SIGHS) It had better not stick like that
-for our grand finale. -(BUGLE BLOWING)
-(GASPS) Is it starting? -No, that's just Clank.
(EXCLAIMING IN APPROVAL)
(LAUGHS)
-The thing is pretty loud, eh, Bobble? -(LAUGHS)
Indeed, my bugling buddy.
Sure makes me thirsty, though.
(AUDIENCE GASPING)
BOTH: It's starting!
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
(GASPS) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Bobble...
Oh, no! Already?
Hold these!
But the show just started!
-CLANK: Ask them to wait! -(LAUGHING)
-(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY) -Hey, guys, I can't see!
Oh! It's Periwinkle!
-Beautiful. -Oh, look at that.
Hi, Peri!
(GIGGLES)
That's my sister.
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
All right!
-(ALL CHEERING) -Oh, wow!
-Yeah! -Yay!
Go, fairies!
Ro, did you do those?
That wasn't in rehearsal.
ROSETTA: Wasn't me.
I never work with poppies.
The pollen makes me sleepy.
Wait. Is that...
Zarina?
-Zarina? -Hmm.
She's back?
What's with that wild hair?
(ALL CHEERING)
Oh, look at those flowers!
BOBBLE: Ooh!
Spring must be next! (CHUCKLES)
That's my favorite.
Oh, I hope Clanky doesn't miss it.
-(BLOWING) -Oh!
(ALL GASP)
-AUDIENCE: Wow! Oh! -Huh?
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Oh, lovely! Oh!
-Guys, guys! We gotta hide! -ALL: Oh!
Now, now, now!
They've really outdone
themselves this year.
(SIGHS)
(YAWNS) What a show.
(YAWNING)
(BLOWING)
(ALL SNORING)
(SCOFFS)
(GASPS) Whoo!
Excuse me. Sorry.
Yes, me again. Coming through.
No, no, don't get up.
Oh, sorry, I should have flown.
(CHUCKLES)
Thank you, Bobble.
(EXHALES) What did I miss?
(SNORING)
(BUGLE BLOWING)
Wake up!
Wake up!
Please! Anyone?
-FAIRIES: Clank, help us! Down here! -(GASPS)
TINKER BELL: Clank!
-In here! In the box! -Oh! Oh, oh...
-Ms. Bell? -TINKER BELL: Help, we're stuck.
Right. How does it open?
TINKER BELL: Push the button!
-(ALL SIGH IN RELIEF) -Thank you so much.
You've got to see this.
(ALL GASP)
Oh, no.
(ALL SNORING)
-Are they... -No. Goodness, no.
(SIGHS)
ROSETTA: They're in a deep sleep.
For how long?
ROSETTA: At least a couple of days.
Why would Zarina do this?
Clank, did you see her?
No, no.
(GASPS) Yes, yes,
I saw her flying towards the dust depot.
(GASPS)
The blue pixie dust.
Ooh, this is bad.
Uh, yeah.
Without it, the tree
can't make pixie dust.
(STAMMERING)
And if the tree can't make pixie dust...
We can't fly.
Oh! Can't... Can't fly...
-Deep breaths. -Can't fly...
-Okay. Okay. -That's it. Deep breaths.
(INHALING DEEPLY)
What could she want it for?
I don't know. But we have to find her.
Clank, stay here
and watch over everyone.
I'm on it.
Especially the Winter Fairies.
Make sure they get
a steady stream of snow.
Right!
(EXHALES)
Right.
The blue dust has a strong glow.
If we can just spot it...
(GASPS) There!
Whoa, she's moving fast!
-(SCREECHES) -(FAIRIES GASP)
FAWN: Oh, sorry!
Where is all this fog coming from?
It's mist. We must be
getting near the coast.
TINKER BELL:
(GASPS) We're losing her!
Over there!
(ALL GASP)
-ROSETTA: Oh, my! -(PIRATES LAUGHING)
TINKER BELL: Oh, no.
(STAMMERING) It's...
Pirates.
Great, now there's pirates.
Maybe they're nice pirates.
Right.
They must have captured her,
forced her to take the dust.
Well, we have to rescue her.
(STAMMERING) But they're...
Deep breaths. Deep (INHALES) breaths.
-Okay. -Hmm.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(PIRATES LAUGHING)
-JAMES: Magnificent! -Quite right.
-A fine haul. -(PIRATES LAUGHING)
PORT: We got their blue dust!
STARBOARD:
Well, it's not theirs anymore.
PORT: It is theirs no longer.
STARBOARD:
I just said that, you daft potato muncher.
-(GASPS) -PORT: Potato...
They're holding her
in the bottom of the boat.
STARBOARD: You've got a right
wee brain, you know that?
PORT: Still smart enough
-to know we got their dust! -(SHUDDERS)
Let me just say that your plan
worked perfectly, Captain.
(ALL LAUGHING)
-"Captain"? -(ALL GASP)
Here's to perfect plans.
Aye! Perfect!
Guess she doesn't need rescuing.
But now the hair makes sense.
What do we do now?
Let's just get the dust
and get out of here.
A little bit of pillage,
a little bit of plunder.
BOTH: Oh!
(YELPING)
(GASPS)
Fairies!
-Ahh! -(GRUNTING)
Get her! Get her!
PIRATES: Whoa!
(GRUNTING)
Got it.
-Here! -PORT: She's getting away!
JAMES: They took the blue dust!
(GRUNTING)
Captain!
Give me back that dust!
Zarina, why are you doing this?
-(GRUNTING) -ROSETTA: Fawn!
If you give it to me, I'll give you quarter.
Quarter? I think we need all of it.
"Quarter" means mercy!
-(GRUNTS) -Ooh.
This dust belongs to Pixie Hollow.
You had your chance.
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL GROAN)
Two for a penny, sir?
-I don't want a baked potato. -Lovely, hot baked potatoes!
-Basted with butter! -(YAWNS)
-Oh, let's see. Oh, what a night.
There it is!
BOTH: Huh? Oh!
"Trelawney and Son,
Master Ship Builders."
(PANTING)
Whoa, whoa! Reality check here, guys!
Do we actually believe some
bozo's gonna give us a ship
just because we show him
Captain Bones' map?
-It's worth a try, Rizzo. -(DOOR OPENS)
I don't know.
May I help you?
Yes. Thank you. We wish to speak
to Squire Trelawney, the ship builder.
-We need a ship. -Ah, I'm sorry.
The Squire's in Long Neddry
for the grouse season.
He will return on the feast of St Lulu.
-Thank you. -That's that.
Of course, his rich,
half-wit son, young
Squire Trelawney's here.
-(CHUCKLING) -We'll see him, then.
(RIZZO AND GONZO CHUCKLING)
Well, gentlemen,
this is definitely
a genuine, bona fide treasure map.
-Oh! -Really!
Oh, yes. Mr. Bimbo told me so.
Oh, Mr. Bimbo lives in my finger.
He's very smart. He's been to the moon.
Thank you. Twice.
-I smell a bozo. -Mmm-hmm.
-(EXPLOSION) -(SCREAMS)
-(SQUEAKING) -Ooh! (CHUCKLING)
(COUGHING) Well done, Beakie!
-(SQUEAKING) -(BLOWING)
Now we know that is definitely
too much gunpowder.
-(SQUEAKING) -(CHUCKLING)
Beaker, stop fooling around.
We've got company.
(MOANS)
Oh, hello, chappies, Everyone, this is
Dr Livesey and his assistant, Beaker.
They do research
and development for Papa.
Hello.
Actually. Squire, we were
hoping to meet your father.
-We need a ship for an ocean voyage. -Ocean? Ocean.
-Ocean? -You know, the ocean?
Uh, the big, blue, wet thing?
Oh!
(STAMMERING)
The big, blue, wet thing! Yes!
Say, I know what's happening here.
You chaps are planning
to sail to this island, aren't you?
-To dig up this treasure. -Yes, but we must be quiet about it.
-There are pirates looking for this map. -And they wanna kill us for it.
Isn't that exciting?
Pirates, eh? Well, that settles it.
We'll use one of my daddy's boats,
and I will personally finance the
voyage for the treasure myself.
You'll do that? Really?
Certainly. What are rich,
half-wit sons for?
Well, here's the dock.
Jim, where's our boat?
We're on a dock?
No wonder I'm seasick.
-Ahoy! -Ah, morning, Squire.
Welcome. Welcome. Ah, there she is.
The Hispanola.
(ALL GASP IN AWE)
RIZZO: Wow! Whoo-hoo!
Come on, let's go!
GONZO: Yeah, let's go.
-"Take a cruise," you said. -Huh?
-"See the world," you said. -Huh?
Now here we are
stuck on the front of this stupid ship.
Well, could be worse.
We could be stuck in the audience.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Well, Mr. Bimbo,
the ship is provisioned,
the crew in place,
and the Captain should be
on board within the hour.
You have been a busy little man.
Ugh.
-Look, there goes Jim. -Oh, yeah, yeah.
(GRUNTING) Ooh! Ooh, look!
It's the boat-steering thing.
-This is called the helm. -Ah.
Hey, how does it feel,
Captain Hawkins?
Feels like we're really doing it.
It feels like we're finally
having an adventure!
Yeah. I'm starvin'. Where's the kitchen?
(GRUNTS)
MAN: ♪ Heigh ho and up she rises
Something smells good.
♪ Heigh ho and up she rises
Cool!
♪ Heigh ho and up she rises
♪ early in the morning
♪ Put him in the longboat till he's sober
♪ Put him in the longboat till he's sober
♪ Put him in the longboat till he's sober
-♪ early in the morning ♪ -(CLEARING THROAT)
-What have we here? Stowaways! -(ALL GASP)
I'm afraid we shish-kebab
and barbecue stowaways on this ship!
-(WHIMPERING) -(SNARLS)
-(LAUGHING) -(LAUGHING)
Wait, I know.
You must be the cabin orphans.
-Yeah. -Hungry, lads?
Ha! Well, in my galley, you're always
welcome to help yourselves!
Yes! Thank you!
(LAUGHING)
Yahoo!
(LAUGHING)
Oh, yes!
(GOBBLING)
Well, he's got a healthy appetite.
How about you, funny-face?
-Huh? -Here.
Hey. Thank you.
My name is Gonzo
and the guy in the chicken is Rizzo.
-(GOBBLING CONTINUES) -Yo!
-And you must be Master Hawkins. -Yes, sir.
Oh, you needn't callin'
a lowly ship's cook "sir."
Long John Silver
at your humble service.
Well, we're just cabin boys, Mr. Silver.
Long John to his friends.
And believe me, lad,
a friend you can trust
is worth his weight in gold.
There's many a dark-hearted
scoundrel in these ports.
Well, what do you mean? Pirates?
-Shh! -Pirates? Oh-ho-ho! That's rich!
Pirates? What an imagination!
Give me a cracker.
Allow me to introduce
my pet lobster Polly.
Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!
(SQUAWKS, WHISTLES)
Raised him from a fingerling, I did.
As fine a crustacean
as as a man could ask.
(CHUCKLES)
But I thought sailors
had talking parrots as pets.
Talking parrots?
Heh! What an imagination.
First pirates, now talking parrots?
What's next, a singing, dancing
mouse with his own amusement park?
Whoo-hoo!
That's enough now, Polly. Go on! Shoo!
(CRASHING, POLLY SQUAWKS)
Right, me hearties, I'll gonna give you
a cook's tour of this fine ship.
(GROANS) If you're gonna be the cook
on this ship, Mr. Silver,
I am definitely gonna need
bigger pants.
(LAUGHING)
(BOTH GASP)
What's the matter, lads?
Oh, that?
Lost that timber fighting brigands off
Madagascar under Admiral Hawke.
There's many a man who lost a leg
and worse in the service of the king.
Why, look what a cannibal took off me
in exchange for me own life.
(LAUGHING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Oh, you're a fine pair of lads.
That you are!
Bright as buttons, the lot of ye.
(BELL RINGING) -MAN: All hands on deck!
Come on, then, lads!
Chop, chop. Look lively now.
The Captain will be here soon.
(CREW CHATTERING, SHOUTING)
Chop, chop!
-Ooh. -Who's that?
SQUIRE: Oh, that is Mr. Arrow,
the first mate, a capital fellow.
-(TRUMPET FANFARE PLAYS) -(GASPS)
The Captain approaches.
-(HONKING) -(NEIGHS)
Move aside! May way!
Make ready for the Captain!
Lollygaggers will suffer his wrath!
Wrath? Is this captain bad-tempered?
Is he bad-tempered?
The man is a raging volcano,
tormented by inner demons the like
of which mere mortals cannot fathom.
He's got demons? Cool!
(CLUCKING)
(WHINNIES)
(TOWNSPEOPLE SHOUTING)
(SCREAMS) Maniac!
-(PEOPLE SHOUTING, SCREAMING) -(HONKING)
(GRUNTING)
ALL: Ooh.
Hi-ho, everyone.
-What... That... -That's the raging volcano?
-JANE: He's a frog! -Maybe he gets hopping mad.
Hopping mad!
-(LAUGHING) -(LAUGHING, SIGHS)
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
Piping aboard
Captain Abraham Smollett.
Good day, Mr. Arrow.
Hmm.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Ah, I knew it. He's furious.
-Ah, you there! -Me?
You were in charge of railing dust.
Thirty lashes,
and then you walk the plank.
I didn't say that, Mr. Arrow.
I was anticipating your whim, sir.
Humph.
Oh. You must be the cabin orphans.
-Uh, yes, sir! -Which one of you is Hawkins?
I am, sir.
I knew your father, Jane.
He was a good man.
Thank you, sir.
Well, this is shapin' up
-to be a fine voyage, lads. -Mmm.
Oh, yes indeed.
(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
Uh, one leg, Jane. Count 'em. One.
Remember what Billy Bones said?
Oh, Gonzo, he seems all right.
I mean, Long John's only a cook.
How dangerous could he be?
Well, I don't know, but I...
Wait a minute. Where's Rizzo?
Enjoy your cruise, sir. Next!
All right, folks, have your checks
made out to "rat tours limited."
Remember, we put the rat in "pirate."
-(TOURISTS CHATTERING) -Ooh.
Why, thank you, Mr. Plagueman. Next!
-Rizzo, what are you doing? -What? Oh, this.
Well, I figure if the treasure map's a dud,
the trip won't be a total
loss financially speaking.
Ah, the wind seems to be freshening.
The tide is with us.
Mr. Arrow, this voyage has begun.
This voyage has begun!
Raise the gangplank.
-Rights, lads! -Let go forward line.
Let go aft line. Hard to starboard.
Any man caught dawdling
will be shot on sight.
-I didn't say that. -I was just paraphrasing.
-Uh, Mr. Arrow, just set the sails. -Set the sails!
TOURIST: Hey, where's my camera?
-I'll miss you! -We'll send postcards!
-Goodbye! -Goodbye!
-SILVERMIST: Wake up. -(GROANS)
-Tink, wake up. -(GASPS)
(GROANS)
What happened?
The last thing I remember
was Zarina throwing that dust at us.
Your dress.
I know. Um...
-(GASPS) -(FAWN GROANING)
Is everyone all right?
I guess so.
(GASPS) I'm not. Look at my outfit!
Orange is not my color.
-She's right. -(WHIMPERS)
Listen, we have to get out of here
and go after Zarina.
Silvermist, can you part the...
(ALL YELPING)
Shut it off! Shut it off!
I didn't do anything. I just...
ALL: (YELPING) Tink!
Tink, could you stop
not doing anything?
It's okay, I got this.
Whoa! (GROANS)
TINKER BELL:
Silvermist, are you okay?
Whoa!
(GROANS)
That's weird. Here, let me help you.
(ALL GASPING)
It's so bright!
-Bright! -IRIDESSA: Fawn, I can't see!
(SCREAMS)
-What did you do? -IRIDESSA: I don't know.
Ew, ew, ew, ew.
Get them off. Get them off! Get them off!
Get them off!
TINKER BELL: Wait a minute.
Do you realize what this means?
Oh, my gosh!
Zarina switched our heads!
TINKER BELL: No. No, no, no.
She switched our talents.
-Excuse me? -What?
I must be a Water Fairy now.
Oh, so, that's why your dress is blue.
And I guess you're a Fast-Flying Fairy.
I'm a... I'm a Light Fairy.
Ow.
IRIDESSA: Garden Fairy! ROSETTA: Oh.
(SIGHS)
Looks like I'm an Animal Fairy now. Huh.
Lucky me.
No, no, no, it can't be.
-(LAUGHS) You're a... -Don't say it.
Tinker Bell, take these things
back right now!
(CHUCKLING) Okay.
(SIGHS)
-Tinker. -(GROWLS)
Guys, come on,
we gotta get out of here.
Well, you're the Water Fairy.
Part the waters.
Um, use both hands this time.
(GRUNTING)
Well, you don't see that every day.
You guys better hurry! I can't hold it!
(GRUNTS) Sil!
(ALL SCREAMING)
Oops!
(ALL GROANING)
-(COUGHING) -SILVERMIST: Guys, are you...
-(GRUNTS) -(IRIDESSA WHIMPERING)
...okay?
Yeah.
Guys, I think I broke something.
(YELPS)
Whoa!
Uh...
Nice, little, harmless,
sharp-toothed, hungry croco...
(BOTH GASP)
...dile.
Fawn!
It's okay. When babies are born,
they imprint on the first thing they see.
Uh, guys, sorry to interrupt
whatever that is,
but the pirate ship is gone.
-What? -Oh, no.
VIDIA: Sil, Fast Flyer, check it out.
Oh, yeah.
(STAMMERING)
Where is she?
(SILVERMIST SCREAMING)
You guys, I saw it, up the coast!
Let's go!
(SILVERMIST STAMMERING)
Oh, right, you can't fly.
-Wet wings. -(CLICKS TONGUE)
Still, there's got to be a way to... Ah!
Excuse me, Ro.
Hmm. Structurally sound enough.
Strength-to-weight ratio seems good.
If I had some rope...
(GASPS) Oh!
You're thinking like a Tinker.
(GROWLING)
Okay, fine.
Get me some vines.
Not a problem.
(EXCLAIMING)
IRIDESSA: Will these do?
Okay, ready?
Wait for me!
(GRUNTING)
Sorry. Gotta...
Can I please have that?
-Oh! (GRUNTS) -VIDIA: Go!
(GROANS)
(SCREAMING)
(ALL GRUNTING)
There's the pirate ship!
You can slow down now!
Easy for you to say. (SCREAMS)
-Hold on! -(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL GROANING)
ROSETTA:
Well, at least our wings are dry.
♪ When the course is laid and the anchor weighed
♪ A sailor's blood begins racing
♪ With our hearts unbound and our flag unfurled
♪ We're underway and off to see the world
♪ Underway and off to see the world
♪ Heave ho, we'll go
♪ Anywhere the wind is blowing
♪ Manly men are we
♪ Sailing for adventure on the deep blue sea
Safely now, Mr. Silver. Let's not get
sloppy just because we're singing.
(LAUGHING) Aye, aye, sir!
♪ Danger walks our deck we say what the heck
♪ We laugh at the perils we're facing
♪ Every storm we ride is its own reward
♪ And people die by falling overboard
♪ People die by falling overboard
♪ Heigh ho, we'll go
♪ Anywhere the wind is blowing
♪ Hoist the sails and sing...
♪ Sailing for adventure on the big blue wet thing
♪ I love to see 'em cry when they walk the plank
♪ I prefer to cut a throat...
♪ I hang 'em high and watch their little feet
♪ try to walk in the air while their faces turn blue
Just kidding.
(CHUCKLES)
♪ It's a good life on a boat
♪ There are distant lands with burning sands
♪ that call across the oceans
♪ There are bingo games every fun-filled day
♪ And margaritas at the midnight buffet
♪ Margaritas at the midnight buffet
♪ Heigh ho, we'll go
♪ Anywhere the wind is blowing
♪ Should have took a train
♪ Sailing for adventure on the bounding main
♪ The salty breezes whisper
♪ who knows what lies ahead
♪ I just know I was born to lead
♪ the life my father led
♪ The stars will be our compass
♪ wherever we may roam
♪ And our mates will always be
♪ just like a family
♪ And though we may put into port
♪ the sea is always home
All right, Mr. Bimbo, I didn't know you
had such a good singing voice.
You're welcome.
♪ We'll chase our dreams standing on our own
♪ Over the horizon to the great unknown
♪ Heigh ho, we'll go
♪ Anywhere the wind is blowing
♪ Bold and brave and free
♪ Sailing for adventure
It's so nauseating!
♪ Sailing for adventure
So exhilarating!
♪ Sailing for adventure
We're all celebrating!
♪ On the deep blue sea ♪
-Hoo-hoo-ho! -Ahoy!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
Roll call!
Long John Silver?
-Aye, aye, sir! -Short-Stack Stevens?
-Aye! One-eyed Jack?
-Aye. -Black-Eyed Pea.
-Yeah. -Wall-Eyed Pike.
Aye.
-Polly Lobster. -(SQUAWKS, WHISTLES)
-Mad Monty. -Aye.
-Sweetums. -Aye.
(GULPS)
-Old Tom. -Aye-aye.
-Real old Tom. -Aye.
-Dead Tom? -Aye, aye.
-(SHIVERING) -Cool.
-Clueless Morgan. -Huh?
Headless Bill.
Headless Bill.
Big-fat-ugly-bug-face-baby-eating
O'Brien?
-(DEEP VOICE) Aye. -(GASPS)
(CLEARING THROAT)
Angel Marie.
Aye, aye.
Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm. Ah. Uh, uh.
Gentlemen, may I see you in my cabin?
-(GASPS) Mmm-hmm. Oh. -Immediately?
Who hired this crew?
This is undoubtedly the seediest bunch
of cutthroats, villains and
scoundrels I have ever seen!
So who hired 'em?
(PANTING)
Your finger hired the crew?
No, that's silly. The man who lives in
my finger hired the crew. Mr. Bimbo.
What? Ah!
Yeah, he relied heavily on the advice
of our excellent cook Long John Silver.
(WHIMPERS) A cook?
And a guy who lives in a bear's finger?
Exactly!
(BOTH GROAN)
Hmm. I'm starting to worry
about this voyage.
Mmm-hmm.
Uh, Jim? I know Billy Bones gave you
the treasure map, but I hope you'll
give me the map for safekeeping.
I'll be careful with it, sir.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Beggin' your pardon, gentlemen,
but I've come with a bit of a treat for you.
'Tis my very own best brandy,
laid down by the brothers
of Buckfast Abbey,
vintage 1737,
to toast to a prosperous voyage.
-Oh, spiffy! -I'm sorry, Mr. Silver, but I'm not
going to allow drinking on this voyage.
-Oh, well, rules are rules. -Oh, but, sir,
'tis a tradition for the officers to
toast to the success of a voyage.
Ah, very true.
No. We must set an
example for this questionable crew.
There will be no consumption
of alcohol of any kind.
Oh.
Oh, sir, but I can vouch
for this crew myself.
You could sail to heaven
-and back with these men. -Ah.
Well, I'm afraid I must disagree with you.
-Oh. -(SCREAMING)
You wanna knock it off with the booze?
It's peelin' paint off
of the shuffleboard court.
-Sorry. -Come on, girls.
You told him.
And that's that.
This conversation is finished.
I understand, sir.
I shall tend to my duty and see to it
that every drop of alcohol
is thrown overboard.
Come on, Jim. Don't bother Captain.
Uh, you can go if you want to, Jim.
-Come on. -Yeah.
(GASPS) Oh, well.
I guess the human beings
wanna hang out together.
don't wanna spend time
with a rat and a...
-Uh, uh, whatever. Huh. -Yeah. Huh.
(PLAYING MUSIC)
-Say cheese! -Cheese!
Oh, that's great. Heh.
Cute couple.
(CHUCKLING)
(LAUGHING)
Stop it!
I never felt like this before.
-RAT: Denise, what I'm trying to say... -Yes?
-What I'm trying to say is... -Yes?
-What I mean to say is, I... -Yes?
(KISSING)
I'm sorry your present didn't work out.
Oh, Jim, Smollett sails
by rules and laws.
That's what bein' a captain's all about.
(INHALES) Me, I sails by the stars.
Stars?
North, Jim.
Find me north out there
among them stars.
Well, that's easy.
Ah, yeah, but what if
you don't have a compass?
-(LAUGHING) -Long John, please don't drop it.
It was my father's.
It's all I have of this. Please. Please.
I'm sorry, lad. I were only foolin'.
How old were you when he died, then?
Seven.
I were eight when my father died at sea.
-First mate, he was. -My father was a first mate too.
Was he now?
By the powers. What a coincidence.
(LAUGHING)
Now, Jim,
that be Polaris, the North Star.
Even in the China Sea, that's north.
-North. Polaris. -Uh-huh.
-So we must be heading southwest. -Smart as paint you are, lad.
Smart as paint.
Now, that gets old Long John
to wonderin'.
Why would we be sailin' southwest?
The scuttlebutt among the crew
is that, uh,
we're sailin' for buried treasure.
and, uh, someone on board
has a map.
'Course, none of my concern, Jim.
I'm just a ship's cook.
(GRUNTS)
Such matters are best suited
to Captain Smollett.
He runs the ship, not I.
Come on, Long John.
You could captain this ship.
That I could, lad.
Maybe someday I will.
(CHUCKLING)
(CHUCKLING)
(LAUGHING)
-Moonlight swim? -Okay.
(LAUGHING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(LAUGHING)
(MISS PIGGY'S VOICE) Oh, Smolly,
my love for you
is deeper than the deep, blue sea.
Hmm.
(SIGHS)
(LONG JOHN LAUGHING)
Get on with you! Go on!
(LAUGHING)
GONZO: Hi, Jim!
-Yo, Jimbo! Mornin', Long... -Hi, Long John. Good morning.
Eh.
Well, at least one of
us is having a good time.
Ah, Rizzo, it's not so bad.
Angel Marie said that later on,
he'd throw a line out the back and let
me drag along the bottom.
(LAUGHING)
I don't know about this crew.
I feel like they're always watchin'
us, just waitin' to pounce.
Ah, that's just a figment
of your imagination.
-(LAUGHING) -(BOTH SCREAMING)
This is a figment of my imagination?
(GROANS)
Now, tell us where the map is,
or we'll tear you limb from limb!
-(WHIMPERS) -Never. My friend and I will never tell.
Hey, hey, there could be
extenuatin' circumstances!
(STAMMERING) I mean,
you know, uh... If, uh...
Maybe they'll ask real nice.
(CHUCKLES)
-In your dreams! Do it, Monty! Do it!
Yeah, do it to me!
(CHUCKLING)
-(GRUNTING) -Whoa! Oh! Oh!
Yes! Ah! More!
-Oh, no, I can't look. -Look at this!
I'm taller! This is so cool!
I may even have a future with the NBA.
(LAUGHING)
This won't work!
He likes it! Let's torture the rat!
-Huh? No! No, no, no, no! -(LAUGHING) Yeah!
-No, no, no, no, no! -Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yes.
-No! No! Oh, no! -(LAUGHING) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, please, no! I hate basketball!
(SIGHS) I got a lovely recipe
for blackened rat.
No!
-(PIRATES LAUGHING) -(GASPS)
Oh.
I say! This does not look safe!
(SIZZLING)
(YELLS) Whoo! Whoo!
What? What? What? What?
Oh, I... I burned my hand. Oh.
-(BLOWING) Oh, kiss it or something! -Hmm.
GONZO: (LAUGHING) Oh!
(LAUGHS) Oh!
Poodly, poodly, poodly,
poodly, poodly.
Mr. Arrow, lock those three up
for the remainder of the voyage.
-Yes, sir! -(CRYING)
You can't hold us!
-To the brig! Move along! -Will you stop crying? Will you shut up!
MR. ARROW: Move along. GONZO: Oh, good. That's good. Yeah.
Whoo!
Master Hawkins, may I see
you in my cabin, please?
Yes, sir.
-Ready, Mr. Gonzo? -Ready!
-Tie off the rope, Beaker! -(SQUEAKS)
We call this the window shade cure.
(CHUCKLES)
All right. Snip, snip, snip.
Yeow! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Oh, great! Wow! Ha! Ah!
-Whoa! -(SQUEAKS)
Hoo-hoo!
That was so cool!
(LAUGHING)
-Hmm? -(MUFFLED SQUEAKING)
Oh, sure.
-(SQUEAKS) -(LAUGHING)
-Who's the lady pig, sir? -Never mind that, Jim. Listen.
I'm hoping you're willing to
give me the map now.
considering what's just happened.
-I'd rather not, sir. -(SIGHS)
I'd hoped it wouldn't
come to this, Jim, but,
as captain, I order you
to give me the map.
-Mr. Arrow? -Aye, aye, Captain.
-Lock up this treasure map. -Hmm.
It will be safe in here, sir.
Yeah.
YANG: (LAUGHS)
Twenty-one gun salute to the captain!
OPPENHEIMER: Right, 21.
(PIRATES LAUGHING)
BONITO: Nice boom! PORT: Oh, yes! Nice!
ALL: Ohh!
(PIRATES LAUGHING)
Music to my ear!
BONITO: That's right!
STARBOARD: Encore!
PORT: Beautiful!
Yes, yes, yes!
(EXPLOSION)
Cease fire!
What? Cease fire?
(STAMMERING) What for?
That was only seven.
I say 21.
(BLOWS)
Right! (CHUCKLES)
Twenty-one, obviously,
on the metric system, which is fine.
Come on,
we've got to find that dust.
(CLEARS THROAT)
lf l may, good sirs, I believe
the proper acknowledgement
would be a toast.
(LAUGHS) A toast it is!
Now, there is a good cabin boy.
BONITO: A beautiful suggestion.
-STARBOARD: Quite thirsty, myself. -Uh-uh!
If it pleases the captain.
You tell those scurvy scallywags that...
(BELL TINKLING)
What did she say?
She said, it does!
(PIRATES CHEERING)
What is better
than a good mug of grog?
Two mugs!
Your tea, Captain. Earl Grey, hot.
Please, sir, may I have some more?
JAMES: To our cunning captain.
Okay, you gotta love the boots.
Just one year ago, we'd lost everything.
Our ship turned adrift, and then
(CHUCKLES)
-we found her. -(BELL TINKLES)
(LAUGHING)
Exactly. We needed a captain.
And when we humbly asked
if she could make us fly...
She didn't stop there.
No! She did one better, she did.
Better indeed!
Soon, she's going to
make the whole ship fly!
PIRATES: To flying!
(ALL GASP)
Fly?
♪ First the Tower of London, arr!
♪ The guards won't know what hit it
♪ We'll swoop right down and take the crown
♪ And the Crown Jewels with it
♪ And when we fly to Paris
♪ Oh, the treasures I'll be grabbin'
♪ The Mona Lisa will look lovely
♪ Hanging in me cabin
PIRATES: ♪ Hey-ho
♪ Imagine the places that we'll go
♪ No one can stop us When we're so
♪ High in the stratosphere!
PIRATES: ♪ Hey-ho
♪ We'll be the freighter that plunders
♪ Every one of the world's seven wonders
♪ When we're up in the skies
♪ For who can fight a frigate that flies?
♪ No one can fight a frigate that flies
♪ Next we'll roam to Rome, me lads
♪ And here's what I'll be stealin'
♪ I'll rob the Sistine Chapel
♪ Of the Sistine Chapel's ceilin'
♪ And for all the folks in Egypt
♪ It will be a dismal day
♪ They'll be crying for their mummies
♪ When we take their mummies away!
PIRATES: ♪ Hey-ho
♪ Imagine the places that we'll go
♪ No can stop us when we're so high!
♪ They will all cower in fear
♪ Hey-ho, from Delhi to Rio to Venice
♪ There's no city that we will not menace
♪ When we're up in the skies
♪ For who can fight a frigate that flies?
♪ No one can fight a frigate that flies
-♪ Oh, how high we will be! -♪ We will be
♪'Cause the blue fairy dust Surely packs a mighty wallop
♪ Only takes a dollop
-♪ Soon it will set us free -♪ We'll be free
♪ From the chains of gravity
♪ Then we'll hoist up the sail
♪ And we'll set course for the sun
♪ 'Cause when you've got wings
♪ No wicked deed cannot be done
♪ And we owe it all
♪ To our great and glorious captain
Although, now that you mention it,
why are we taking orders
from some fairy, anyway?
-(ALL GASP) -(SWORD UNSHEATHES)
(GASPS) Heh, heh, heh...
Two, three, four!
♪ Hey-ho, imagine the places that we'll go
♪ No one can stop us when we're so high
-♪ Givin' a pirate cheer -PIRATES: ♪ Arr!
♪ Hey-ho, we'll be the freighter that plunders
♪ Every one of the world's seven wonders
♪ When we're up in the skies
♪ For who can fight a frigate that flies?
♪ Hey-ho, there's not a town or a county
♪ That will not yield its bounty up
♪ When our ship draws near
♪ Hey-ho, there's not a city or village
♪ That we will not plunder or pillage
♪ When we're up in the skies
♪ For who can fight a frigate that flies?
♪ And every nation will give a donation
♪ When they see us sail the skies
♪ In a frigate that flies!
♪ Hey! ♪
(ALL LAUGHING)
ALL: Ah!
(SEAGULLS CAWING)
(GULL SQUAWKS)
It's been six weeks
since we left England.
Five days since we had a breeze.
(GROANS)
Oh, no. I got the madness!
I got cabin fever!
I've got it too!
Cabin fever!
♪ I got cabin fever it's burning in my brain
♪ I got cabin fever it's driving me insane
♪ We got cabin fever we're flipping our bandannas
♪ Been stuck at sea so long that we have simply gone bananas
♪ Chica chica boom chica chica boom boom chic arriba!
♪ Chica chica boom boom chica chica boom boom chic
♪ We, we got cabin fever We lost what sense we had
♪ We got cabin fever we're all going mad
♪ Grab your partner by the ears
-♪ Lash him to the wheel -Yee-haw!
♪ Do-si-do, step on his toe listen to him squeal
-Ow-hoo-hoo-hoo! -♪ Allemande left allemande right
♪ it's time to sail or sink
♪ Swing your partner over the side
♪ Drop him in the drink (CHUCKLES)
We've got cabin fever.
-No ifs, ands or buts. -We're disoriented.
-And demented. -BOTH: And a little nuts.
♪ Ach du leibe Volkswagen car
(YODELING)
♪ Sauerbraten, wiener schnitzel und wunderbar
♪ We were sailing, sailing
♪ The wind was on our side
And then it died.
I got cabin fever. I think I lost my grip.
I'd like to get my hands on
whoever wrote this script.
♪ I was floating 'neath the tropic moon
♪ and dreaming of a blue lagoon
♪ Now I'm as crazy as a loon
(CHUCKLES)
♪ Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard
♪ This once small vessel has become a floating psycho ward
♪ We were sailing, sailing heading who knows where
♪ And now though we're all here
♪ we're not all there ♪
(ALL LAUGHING, SHOUTING)
Ooh!
ALL: Cabin fever! Ah!
-(BREEZE BLOWING) -PIRATE: Look! The wind is back!
-PIRATE 2: What are we doin'? -What goin' on here?
-What was that? -I feel like such a fool.
-SQUIRE: Yeah, me too. -I hope nobody saw that.
Embarrassing.
-Get us outta here! Help! -We didn't hit him!
MONTY: Come on, let us out.
We was only joking.
Ooh! Hey, Long John!
Hey! Get us outta here!
Yeah!
-Hey, Polly. -What?
What was that song that just happened?
What are you talkin' about?
You know, uh, "Cabin Fever. Ah."
-That. -You see, John?
You gotta get us outta here now!
Clueless is startin' to go crackers!
Here you go.
-Your bread and water for today. -But I ordered shrimp scampi.
It's more than you deserve,
ya villainous dogs!
(GASPS)
Oh, Jim.
By rights, I should be locked up too
for lettin' thieves like them
aboard this ship.
Oh, it chills me.
To think that they almost
killed your little friends.
looking for some daft treasure map.
None of this would've happened if I'd
have given Captain Smollett the...
I mean...
What, lad?
I'm not really sure I should be talking
about this with you or with anyone.
You mean, you've really
got a treasure map?
Not anymore. Mr. Arrow took it and
locked it up in the Captain's cabin.
You must promise to keep it a secret.
Oh, don't bother your head about that.
You've only told old Long John.
Now, you run along and do your chores.
Go on.
Go on.
(CHUCKLING)
Safely now. Safely.
(IMITATES FOGHORN)
Steady as she goes.
Oh, Mr. Silver, good evening.
-Wicked fog tonight, sir. -Hmm. Hmm.
Reminds me of the night
we ran aground off the Pampas.
Half the crew drowned in leaky lifeboats.
Ah, it were a terrible shame.
-Leaky lifeboats? -Oh, a common occurrence, sir.
A little-used
piece of equipment falls into disrepair
-and becomes, uh, shall we say... -Unsafe?
Oh, I'm not
sayin' our lifeboats are unsafe, sir.
I'm not sayin' we got problems, uh...
Still...
Hmm. Hmm. The caulking appears tight.
No dampness under the gunwale.
This one seems seaworthy.
Oh, well, sir, they do, of course, until
you get them out in the open ocean.
-Cast me off, Mr. Silver. -Oh, yes, sir.
Oh, sir, is there anything
I can hold for you for safekeeping?
Your hat? Your coat? Um...
Your keys?
Hmm? My keys!
Of course. If they were to fell overboard,
(GRUNTS) it would be disastrous.
Oh, that it would, sir.
Oh! Cast me off, Mr. Silver!
Aye, aye, sir!
Thank you, Mr. Silver.
Just doin' my duty, sir.
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, yes, John.
(ROOSTER CROWS)
MAN: Man overboard!
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, yes.
-Oh, uh, I'm sorry, sir. -Wha...
Mr. Arrow's gone overboard, and
all we found was his hat!
-(SOBBING) -Oh, no.
And so, my friends, the sea has
claimed another loyal officer and friend.
SMOLLETT: This was a person
who served...
I got it! I got it!
Shh! Okay, after you, Monty.
-No, after you. -Oh, will you just come on?
Mr. Samuel Arrow, a wonderful man who
used to get us up from our beds
before dawn for a good flossing.
Okay, okay.
Now, spread out and find the map.
Yeah.
May the wind be ever at your back,
Samuel Arrow.
Rest in peace, my friend.
-Amen. -Amen.
-(MANIACAL LAUGHING) -Shh.
Ha-ha-ha! See? See?
Wait! Open up! Open it!
No, we gotta take it to Long John.
Come on.
-Oh. -(LAUGHING)
GONZO: (SPITS) This apple
has a worm in it.
RIZZO: That's not a worm.
That's my tail.
Oh.
-(MUNCHING) -What's wrong?
Well, it just feels so weird.
You mean, that Mr. Arrow's dead?
Yeah, that, and my pants
are filled with starfish.
You and your hobbies!
-Rizzo. (BOTH SCREAM)
-Jim, we've missed you! Climb in! -Can't. I'm doing my chores.
-Oh, come on. Share an apple. -Yeah, come on!
Whoa! Oh!
Anyway, here's the plan.
I say we should kill that captain now.
POLLY: Then we'll get that twit of a bear!
CLUELESS: Can we make a rug
out of him?
(LAUGHING)
Oh, hi, Long John.
(LAUGHTER STOPS)
I'm an easy man.
A gentleman of fortune, says most.
But it makes me sick at heart
to sail with the likes of you.
Now, get this straight.
If anyone mutinies before I says so,
I'll throw you overboard
like I did that scurvy mate Mr. Arrow!
I says, let the Captain
steer us closer to the island.
I've got the lad's treasure map now.
When the time is ripe, we'll kill 'em all!
POLLY: That's what I said!
That's what I said!
MONTY: Kill them all!
-MAN ON DECK: Land ho! -Come on, lads! Let's go!
Yea! Land ho!
(LAUGHING)
(PIRATES CHATTERING, LAUGHING)
-Oh, my goodness! -(WHIMPERING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(FAIRIES GASPING)
-Whoa. -Tink.
(ALL GASP)
IRIDESSA: It looks like...
The Pixie Dust Tree back home.
Zarina must have grown it.
So, that's how they're going to fly.
She's going to make pixie dust.
WALDORF: Land ho!
(LAUGHS)
Beachfront property!
Retirement estates!
-Bikinis! -Bikinis!
Throw the mainsail! Drop anchor!
Bring her up hard
of starboard, helmsman.
Prepare to lower the longboats.
(CHATTERING, SHOUTING)
Bring those barrels over here, lads!
Helmsman, give a hand
with the longboats.
-Captain, may I speak with you? -I'm sorta busy, Jim.
But, Captain, we just heard
Long John is planning a mutiny,
and he's got the treasure map.
-Yeah. -I see.
-Mr. Silver? -Aye, aye, Cap'n!
Mr. Silver, I want you
to take the crew ashore at once.
We need water and provisions.
Take as long as you want.
(CHEERING)
Sir!
'Tis a task to my liking, sir! That it is!
Quickly, boys. Gather the officers
and meet me to my quarters.
-Quickly. -Yes, sir.
This is a lucky break.
Captain lettin' us go ashore.
Us with the map and all.
It's like giving
the treasure to us on a silver platter.
Aye, that it is, Polly.
Never trust a silver platter.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
Jim, lad!
There's room in the boat for one more.
Come along for an adventure.
I can't. The Captain wants me.
Oh, what a shame!
I'll miss you, lad. That I will.
Uh, Jim!
I seem to have left my crutch on board.
Hand it to me like a good lad, will ya?
There's a good boy.
Ah, it'll be a bit closer than that.
I can't reach it from there.
-(GRUNTS) -Oh!
Cast away, men! Be quick now!
Go, go, go!
(LAUGHING)
The plan is simple.
Once the pirates are ashore,
we set sail and return in a year or so.
By then, all the fight
should be out of 'em.
Oh, now I understand.
That's a brilliant plan!
-Except for one thing. -What's that?
The pirates have Jim!
I'm tired!
-You're what? -I'm getting tired!
-He says go faster. -I'm getting tired!
Ahoy, you biscuit-eating bilge rats!
Prepare to dock starboard!
-PIRATES: Docking starboard! -(BELL TINKLING)
Captain says, raise the sails
and step lively!
PIRATES: Raise the sails!
Heave!
Bring her around, Mr. Yang!
(GRUNTING) Bringing her around!
-Let go anchor! -JAMES: Let go anchor!
-Get out all lines! -JAMES: Get out all lines!
PIRATES: Casting lines!
(LAUGHING)
STARBOARD: Come on, get moving. PORT: Are you talking to me?
JAMES: Captain says, restock the ship.
We set sail at dawn.
Yes, Captain. Load ship, right away.
PORT: Hey, watch where
you're swinging that thing!
YANG: (LAUGHS) Work faster, now!
That's it!
Come on.
(GRUNTING)
Locked.
PORT: Come on, you lubber,
get on with it.
Someone's coming!
-Pirate! -(GASPS)
Hide!
-(MOUSE SQUEAKS) -(ALL GASP)
(FAIRIES WHIMPERING)
(WHISPERS) Animal Fairy, you're up.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Excuse me, mouse. Uh...
Mr. Mouse. (CHUCKLES)
Would you mind terribly moving on?
We need this space to do a little hiding.
-(SQUEAKING) -Oh!
(CHUCKLES)
Much obliged.
Bye-bye!
Aw, what a cute little mouse.
-It was a rat. -(GASPS)
Ew!
JAMES: Hey, shoo, rat!
(SQUEAKING)
Uh, permission to enter, Captain.
This is our chance.
Now!
(ALL GASP)
No!
I had Oppenheimer
make you your favorite.
The dust.
I know how much you like
a little something sweet while you work.
(BELL TINKLING)
Well, you're quite welcome.
Hmm? Oh, uh...
Uh, yes, of course. Sorry.
Ah, right, second drawer.
(CHUCKLES)
Look at that.
It sparkles like a thousand sapphires.
(SIGHS)
You're quite the little genius.
It's hard to believe the other fairies
didn't appreciate your talent.
(GROANING)
-Sil? -She looks seasick.
(RETCHES) This never happened
when I was a Water Fairy.
JAMES:
You know, I remember when I couldn't
-understand a single jingle. -VIDIA: Oh, no!
Huh?
(SILVERMIST VOMITING)
I'm fine.
(SNIFFING)
-ROSETTA: Fawn! -(GASPS)
(BOTH GASP)
-Sorry! -What are you doing?
-What Dess does. -That's not what I do.
Well, stop it!
You shouldn't take light so lightly.
(GASPS)
-What? -What, what? What?
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
No, nothing, nothing!
Ooh.
(GASPS)
It's still so hard to believe
that this blue dust can make flying dust.
Yes, but only if you...
-(BELL TINKLING) -Ah!
So, the secret is the infusion
of the blue dust directly into the tree.
-(GROANS) -Sil, you okay?
Start throwing out the line.
All right, Tink, open the drawer
as much as you can.
JAMES: So, once the golden
dust has been produced...
Sil, hold the line.
JAMES: ...the sluice will coat the ship
with the perfect amount,
and at that point, we take to the skies!
Very impressive, Captain.
(GRUNTS)
JAMES: No pirate I know could
have imagined such a scheme.
-(BOTH GRUNTING) -Whoa!
Ahh!
-Oh. -Vidia!
You've turned out to be quite
the pint-sized prodigy,
if I may say.
It's been an adventure and an honor.
Your sword, Captain.
Hmm.
(ALL GASP)
(ALL EXCLAIM)
Y'all okay?
Yeah. They're headed for the tree.
Come on!
Whoa! What is up with your...
Hey, hey, we should catch up with Tink.
Shh.
STARBOARD:
All right, just give me the strap.
YANG: That's it, hold it in place.
JAMES:
Right, watch the angle of the flume.
Too much pitch, and she'll overflow.
STARBOARD: Aye aye, Captain!
JAMES:
Make sure the seams are sealed.
Captain doesn't want
to lose a single grain
of that precious dust.
STARBOARD: Oh, that golden dust.
(IRIDESSA WHIMPERS)
FAIRIES: Dess! Quiet!
Sorry. I barely touched it.
Well, don't touch it at all.
-Just hover. -Yeah, hover.
All right, all right.
As soon as she's gone,
we'll grab the dust and get out of here.
Maybe we should try and talk to her.
Yeah, because that worked out
so well back at the waterfall.
(SIGHS)
(BUZZING)
Hey, shoo.
(GRUNTS) Hey!
Shoo, shoo!
-(BUZZING) -Hey, hey, hey...
Go, go, go!
Oh, no. No!
No, no, no, no, no!
Stop growing. Stop growing.
Please, branch, no!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(WHIMPERS)
(LAUGHING)
We got you!
Did you really think
by switching our talents,
you could beat us?
(CHUCKLES) Looks that way.
-(WHISTLES) -OPPENHEIMER: Got them!
-(ALL GASPING) -TINKER BELL: Zarina!
Well done. Got them all
in one swell foop, I did.
Zarina, don't do this.
Come back with us. Come back home.
(LAUGHING)
I'll never go back to Pixie Hollow.
You don't belong here.
This is exactly where I belong, Tink.
We appreciate what she can do.
We treasure it, actually.
-(SNAP FINGERS) -(OPPENHEIMER LAUGHING)
Put them below,
and keep your eye on them.
Oh, right. Maybe I'll use, uh, this one?
While you still have it. (LAUGHING)
Captain, are you all right?
(BELL TINKLES)
Captain says, back to work, gentlemen.
YANG: All righty, mates, you heard him.
(LAUGHING)
OPPENHEIMER: And, right.
Perfect fit.
Welcome to your new cabin.
-(ALARM RINGING) -Oh.
Me stock is ready.
(GRUNTING)
(SINGING)
Oh, well, now, look at that.
(SNIFFS) Oh, lovely.
Oh, that is good eating right there.
Isn't it, Mum? "Yes, it is, darling."
Oh, let me see.
What shall I make tonight?
Well, I've still got some lard
and some old cabbage.
Okay, we need a plan.
Here we go.
(RUMBLING)
(BOTH GASPING)
-Whoa! -Mmm.
-Ah! -JAMES: Oh!
It worked!
-Yes, she did it! -YANG: It worked! (LAUGHS)
-It's working! -Pixie dust!
-Look at it! Amazing! -(ALL CHEERING)
We're going to fly!
(LAUGHS) From a trickle to a roar.
BONITO: Fly like a happy bird!
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(LAUGHTER, SHOUTING)
Hey, man!
I can't figure out what side we're on.
Are we with the pirates
or the frog captain?
Oh, hey, man, just play the gig.
Never get involved in politics.
Politics! Politics!
LONG JOHN: Jim, lad!
(LAUGHTER)
Easy, Jim. 'Tis all in good fun.
Pleased I am to initiate you
into our enterprising, um... Company.
(LAUGHTER)
Which entitles you
to all the benefits thereof.
I don't want any benefits.
This is a one-time special offer, Jim, lad.
Say no, and I will
be forced to terminate our relationship.
You're nothing but murdering pirates.
-Pirates! -(GASPS)
(LAUGHING)
Pirates. Oh, Jim.
If that's what you're thinking,
you're dead wrong.
♪ When I was just a lad
♪ Looking for my true vocation
♪ My father said now, son, this choice
♪ deserves deliberation
♪ Though you could be a doctor
♪ Or perhaps a financier
♪ My boy, why not consider a more challenging career
♪ Hey, ho, ho
♪ You'll cruise to foreign shores
Sing it, lads!
♪ And you'll keep your mind and body sound by working out of doors
♪ True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without
♪ And when you're a professional pirate
♪ That's what the job's about
Upstage, lads! This is my only number.
♪ Now take Sir Francis Drake the Spanish all despise him
♪ but to the British he's a hero and they idolize him
♪ It's how you look at buccaneers
♪ that makes them bad or good
♪ And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood
-♪ Hup -♪ Hey, ho, ho
I love it! 'Tis poetry in motion.
♪ We're honourable men
♪ and before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten
♪ On occasion there may be someone you have to execute
♪ But when you're a professional pirate
♪ you don't have to wear a suit
What?
♪ I could have been a surgeon I like taking things apart
♪ I could have been a lawyer but I just had too much heart
♪ I could have been in politics
♪ 'cause I've always been a big spender
♪ And me, I could've been a contender
(LAUGHTER)
♪ Some say that pirates steal
♪ And should be feared and hated
♪ I say we're victims of bad press
♪ It's all exaggerated
♪ We'd never stab you in the back
♪ We'd never lie or cheat
♪ We're just about the nicest guys
♪ you'd ever want to meet
-Well, look at us, Jim. -(HUMMING)
We're a festival of conviviality.
(LAUGHTER)
Congeniality!
-That's conviviality, stupid. -That's what I said.
We're ready, o capitan!
Good. You men guard
the ship while I'm gone.
We'll be back as soon as we get Jim.
-Aye, aye, Captain. -Cast off, Mr. Beaker.
Thanks for coming along, men.
Are you kidding? Jim is family.
Yeah.
Tell the truth, lad.
Do you really
think the Captain and the Squire
are planning to share the
treasure with the likes of us?
Can't hear ya. No?
And we being the rightful owners.
Flint's own crew, who shed
our blood getting it here!
Join us, lad.
Donate your compass to the treasure
hunt and get a full share!
♪ Hey, ho, ho it's one for all for one
♪ And we'll share and share alike with you
♪ and love you like a son
♪ We're gentlemen of fortune
♪ and that's what we're proud to be
♪ And when you're a professional pirate
♪ You'll be honest brave and free
♪ The soul of decency
♪ You'll be loyal and fair and on the square
♪ And most importantly
♪ When you're a professional pirate
♪ You're always in the best
♪ of company ♪
(CANNON BLAST)
Down!
There! Captain Smollett
coming to rescue me.
Don't get your hopes up, laddie.
I've taken the liberty
of hiding a few of my men aboard.
If a second round follows,
it means they've
taken over the Hispanola,
and I'm the new cap'n.
(LAUGHTER)
Now, then.
-(CANNON BLAST) -(CHEERING)
(GRUNTING, GROANING)
How infortuitous our firearms
weren't loaded, Beakie.
I'll say! We might have shot somebody.
(SIGHS)
I'm the only friend you've
got in the world now, Jim.
Let's dig up the treasure together, eh?
Shipmates, remember?
We'll be needing your compass, though.
No.
I'll be taking it either way, Jim.
-Ha! -(CHEERING)
Come on then, lads. Let's not waste time.
-(PANTING) -Well, it's too dark to do anything now.
We'll camp here and wait for first light.
(WHIMPERING)
Oh, hey, Rizzo, relax! Don't be so afraid.
Oh, I've gone way beyond afraid.
Right now I'm somewhere between
bed-wetting
and a near-death experience.
(CHUCKLING)
Good night, boys.
-Well, good night. -Right.
-'Night, Rizzo. -Yeah, sure.
(WHIMPERING CONTINUES)
(GROWLING, GRUNTING)
Gonzo? Is that you, Gonzo?
Boy, Gonzo, it sounds like you're
coming down with a little cold there.
(STAMMERING) I'm just gonna
light a match if you don't mind, here.
(SCREAMING)
PIRATE: Long John, look!
Flint hung 'em up there
after he gullied 'em
to mark the trail to the treasure.
(GROANING)
Wicked sense of humor ol' Flinty had.
-It's a sign. This is a cursed place. -Yeah!
Well, there's an informed opinion.
All right, Jim, lad, where to from here?
"On a heading of 179 degrees,
"walk 312 paces from where
the dead men hang high."
(GROANING)
That way!
-You're gonna go? You're gonna... -Come on!
Howdy, vous stinky
froggy man and friends.
I am Spa'am, high priest of the boars.
You mucho wickedness
go trespass on island.
Now you suffer the wrath of our queen,
Boom Sha-kal-a-kal.
Terrific. Captured by crazed pigs and
sacrificed before a pagan altar.
-Are we lucky or what? -Silence, smelly sailor mans!
You have violated sacred island.
Uh-oh, excuse me.
I am Captain Smollett.
We mean no harm to your culture.
We embrace all creatures
of different nations.
-Silence! -(GASPS)
Bring forth Boom Sha-kal-a-kal!
That can't be good.
♪ Boom Sha-kal-a-kal Boom Sha-kal-a-kal
♪ Boom Sha-kal-a-kal Boom Sha-kal-a-kal
♪ Boom Sha-kal-a-kal Boom Sha-kal-a-kal
♪ Boom Sha-kal-a-kal Boom Sha-kal-a-kal
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
These tropical floor shows are so exotic.
Yeah, and the food is to die for.
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)
(TRUMPETING)
♪ Boom sha-kal-a-kal ♪
Bonsoir, mes amis!
(GIGGLES)
-(GASPS) -Come, Flaubert.
(SCREAMS, GRUNTING)
(YELLING, GROANING)
(SIGHING)
Flaubert! Get away, you stupid anteater!
You spoiled my entrance!
♪ Boom Sha-kal-a-kal Boom Sha-kal-a-kal
-Oh, knock it off! -Oh.
(GIGGLING)
Greetings. Moi am Benjamina Gunn.
Maroonee, temptress
and queen of this...
(GASPS)
(SIGHING)
Smolly, can it be you?
Benjamina.
-Hi-yah! -(SCREAMING)
-(GONG) -(CHEERING)
Oh, uh, old girlfriend.
(WHIMPERS)
Tie 'em back in their stakes!
Cold gruel, with a little bit of sawdust.
A dash of rodent, sauteed of course.
Some carrots? No.
Hey, where you think
you're going, little fella?
(LAUGHING)
Now is our chance. Go, go, go, go!
-Come on, all together. -(FAIRIES QUARRELLING)
IRIDESSA: I'm going as fast as I can!
Oh, not today, my darlings.
Would you be kind enough
to hold this for me?
Perfect.
Anybody else got an idea?
...306, 307, 308, 309,
310, 311, 312.
PIRATE: This is it.
What if Clueless is right?
(STAMMERING) What if it is cursed?
-I'll show you what I think of your curse. -(GRUNTS)
You mewling little lily-livered,
toffee-hearted little
wuss of a crustacean!
"Treasure buried here."
(CHATTERING)
Oy, we don't even have to dig it up!
Come on, mates! the treasure's ours!
(CHEERING, SHOUTING)
(MURMURING)
There's no treasure, Silver!
You brought us here for nothing.
And now we'll be tried for mutiny!
Yeah!
I say... We should kill him!
(SHOUTING)
Run, lad! Save yourself!
-Why are you doing this for me? -Because I like you, boy.
I hope you didn't think
I wasn't lying about that.
-(SHOUTING) -Run!
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
Absolutely astonishing.
Just imagine, flying like a bird.
(CHUCKLES)
Of course, you do that all the time.
What's it like? How do you even steer?
It's pretty simple, actually. Lean left.
Lean right, fly right.
(STAMMERING)
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
This is... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Are you afraid?
Hmm?
Afraid? (CHUCKLES)
Lead on, Captain.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, I'm doing it.
I'm...
I'm flying!
(BOTH GASPING)
-Look out, mates! -(ALL EXCLAIMING)
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. -STARBOARD: Look at him go.
What's so funny? Whoa! Whoa, whoa...
You can't fly like that.
Put your legs together.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(YELLING)
Whoo! (LAUGHING)
Oh!
Oh. (LAUGHING)
Just try to keep up.
(JAMES PANTING)
(LAUGHING)
Whoo-hoo!
-Whoo. -(BELL TINKLING)
Aye aye, Captain!
STARBOARD: The lad is flying!
(PIRATES LAUGHING)
It works! It really works.
And pretty soon, we'll have enough dust
to make the whole ship fly.
-Right, Zarina? -(BELL TINKLES)
And as long as we have the blue dust,
we'll never run out of flying dust.
-Right again? -Right again, James.
(GASPS)
Well, then, we won't need you anymore.
(GRUNTS)
(JAMES LAUGHING)
-Our plan worked perfectly. -(PIRATES LAUGHING)
Fairies are such gullible creatures.
-Aren't they, lads? -(PIRATES CHEER)
No match for an Eton education
such as mine.
STARBOARD:
He's a smart one, isn't he?
The power of the pixie dust
is finally ours.
(ALL CHEERING)
We've had enough kissing up
to that pint-sized prima donna.
No quarter for her.
Let's make her walk a tiny little plank.
STARBOARD: Yes, tiny! PORT: A tiny plank!
She can fly, you cretins.
ALL: Oh! YANG: You know, he's right.
That is why he is the captain.
She'd just fly away. I get it.
(LAUGHS) Mi capitén.
PORT:
What if we tie her wings together?
(LAUGHS)
There's no stopping us.
We'll plunder every port
in all the seven seas.
(PIRATES CHEERING)
Prepare to get under way,
you scurvy scallywags.
We've got a ship to fly.
(ALL CHEERING)
Ha. And as for you,
you'll make a fine little nightlight.
Take greeny, flippy,
bulgy-eyed one away.
Others stay. Chop chop!
(MUTTERING)
Hey, wait! Where are you taking him?
(HUMMING)
Hmm. Take the mousie,
then skewer the mousie!
Well, how else do you think
we were gonna get him in this movie?
Yeah.
-(LAUGHING) -(MUTTERING)
I wish we were back at the Admiral
Benbow eating table scraps.
(LAUGHS) We're about
to become table scraps.
Well, this is terrible! This is the worst
thing that's ever happened to me.
Wait a second! I've been cut loose!
-Hiya, guys. -(SHRIEKS)
Jim, they've got Captain Smollett.
I know. Come on. We've got to get help.
Oh, okay. Where will we go?
(MUD BUNNY CRYING)
Tom, Tom, Tom!
Oh!
Dead Tom's dead!
(CRYING)
Long John shot him!
(SOBBING)
But Dead Tom's always been dead.
That's why he's called Dead Tom.
Oh.
Can we get on with this?
Get outta here, will ya?
-Cluless! -Yeah, yeah?
-Give it to him. -Yeah!
But, uh, it's not his birthday.
No, no, no, no! The paper!
Oh!
(CHUCKLES)
This is for you.
-The black spot? -Yeah!
You dare to give me the black spot?
-(STAMMERING) He told me to. -Shut up, will ya?
And it's drawn on a page from the Bible.
You tore a page from the holy scriptures
to make a pirate's death sentence?
Uh, here.
Oh, the red-hot gates of hell
are creeping open!
Satan is heating his pokers for you,
you blasphemous heathens!
-(WHIMPERING) -Fall down on your knees
and beg for deliverance from damnation!
-Please forgive us. -Please forgive me.
Very good. You're forgiven.
-Oh, thank you. -Now untie me!
(MUTTERING)
And let's go find the treasure!
Oh, you are a good man.
You are a kind man. A handsome man.
-Precious. -Oh, he's... You're precious and...
-Beautiful. -And he's beautiful. Oh.
Yeah, here's the boat. Oh, no!
Well, that won't help us.
We're gonna have to swim to the ship.
Hello! Earth to Jimbo.
Swimming to a ship that's
full of killer pirates
to save the Captain is not a good plan.
Look!
Yes. The gunwale and keel
are definitely safe.
-Mr. Arrow! It's me! Jim! -Mr. Arrow!
Mr. Arrow, over here!
Over here, sir!
Oh. Oh, boys. Come join me
aboard this exceptionally safe little boat.
Hmm.
By the way, that Silver
fellow may not be trustworthy.
-(CHUCKLES) Now he tells us! -Yeah.
And here's a photo opportunity
you will not want to miss.
The actual jungle location for the
movie, A Never Pirate.
-Oh, my goodness! -Keep up, people
Of all the backwater,
no-class piles of sand in the ocean,
you had to wash up on mine.
Benjamina, I just want you
to know that I'm sorry.
Sorry? No, no, sorry doesn't cut it.
You left me standing at the altar!
I was on a ship headed for Zanzibar.
I got cold feet.
You're a frog
You're supposed to have cold feet.
My mother came
all the way from France.
I was wearing her white lace dress.
The cake was filled with lemon custard!
(WHIMPERING)
Mina, fate has brought us
together again.
Well, actually, buried treasure and
pirates brought us together...
Don't you start with me about pirates!
After you jilted me I took
up with this Bernie Flint.
-The man was totally codependent. -You and Captain Flint?
Well, he was a pirate, I was a lady..
You know the story.
-(WHIMPERING) -Smolly? He marooned me.
Me!
(SOBBING)
Oh. Oh. Oh.
This is all my fault.
Oh, what have I done to you?
Mushy-mushy! Oh. Lovey-dovey!
(LAUGHTER)
Bravo, Cap'n.
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
Touching reunion, Benjamina.
This seems to be your day
for renewing old...
(INHALES) Acquaintances.
Oh, well...
(CLEAR THROAT) Hello, Long John.
-Oh, no! Him too? -If you'd married me.
What does that have to do with it?
I'm a pig! I need commitment!
Now, I'm not gonna
be really patient about this, Benjamina.
Where is the treasure?
Um, I just may not tell you.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, don't play games with me, lass.
I tell you, I'm not a patient man.
-(GASPS) -Stop! Give up now,
weak and tiny pirate mans,
or die like stinking dogs.
(SHOUTING, GRUNTING)
Hmm, we see you have
boom-boom sticks.
Bye bye.
(SHOUTING, WHIMPERING)
Oh, brother!
-Now, Benjamina. -What?
Where's the treasure?
There is no treasure.
It was all a clever ruse.
(CHUCKLES) Ha!
So where did you get that
gold necklace you're wearing?
The one made of Spanish doubloons.
PIRATE: Aye.
Um...
Shopping channel?
(LAUGHTER)
-(GRUNTS) -No!
(GRUNTS)
-(GASPS) -(LAUGHING)
Swoggle me eyes.
-Now, there's a sight. -(BELL TINKLES)
Oh, don't feel foolish.
I was just too clever for you. That's all.
Ah! Yes.
Now, you see, my little fairy,
navigating the Never Seas is one thing.
But to chart a course for the sky,
not only do you need
longitude and latitude,
but you also need altitude.
-(BELL TINKLING) -Hmm. Oh...
Now, let's not be a sore loser.
(LAUGHS)
Once we're past the second star,
the world will be my oyster.
And I don't even like oysters.
(LAUGHS)
We'll be in and out of every port so fast,
they won't even know what hit them.
(GRUNTS)
No, no, no.
Nice try, but it's fairy-proof.
Brilliant, right?
(LAUGHING)
-(CLOCK TICKING) -(GROANS)
Oppenheimer!
That ticking is driving me mad!
Right. It's just a clock, you know.
-Well, not to worry. -(BELLS TINKLING)
Pretty soon, we'll be flying so high
it'll make these high seas
look downright low!
-Crazy. -Like we have a choice.
Come on, guys,
we're gonna get out of this.
Well, we wouldn't even be in it
if our new Garden Fairy
didn't grow branches willy-nilly!
You're not saying this is my fault.
-Hmm. If the flower fits. -(GASPS)
How can I cook
with all that infernal jingle-jangling?
There's only one thing to do.
(GRUNTING)
Oh, much better. Don't you think, Mum?
None of it would've happened
if you would have come over
to help me with the bee!
Are you saying this is my fault?
Well, if the rose fits.
-(GASPS) -Let's not point fingers. It's Zarina's fault.
-Guys? Guys? -Right, what about her?
IRIDESSA: Yeah, let's talk about that.
Guys, look!
(SNIFFING)
(LAUGHS) Great. Just what I need.
(COOING)
Uh-uh-uh. Bad crocodile. Bad croc.
-(WHINES) -I am not your mother!
Wait. Rosetta,
he can get us out of here.
You're right.
Good. Good crocodile. Come here.
Come here, stocky.
Come to Mama.
Shh! Quiet.
Okay. Now, pull us off the table.
Come here. Come to Mama.
-That's right, sugar. -(ALL EXCLAIMING)
What is going on here? (GASPS)
A stowaway, is it?
Oh, no!
Oh, no, you don't. (GRUNTS)
Hello.
Hurry! Hurry!
-Gotcha! -FAIRIES: Rosetta!
-A little extra flavor. -(GROWLING)
(SCREAMS)
Ooh! (LAUGHING)
Good job, crocky.
You are such a good little boy.
Yes, you are.
What a good little
widdle snuggle wuggums.
That's his mama.
Okay, enough. Let's get out of here.
Wait, Vidia.
We can't just race out there.
They'll see us.
Hmm.
(CHATTERING)
Shh.
-Shh. -Shh.
(GASPS) Fiddle!
Make yourself useful.
Try and save us. Do something!
Shh!
Oh, Master Hawkins,
you've come to rescue us.
I should've let him live in my finger.
We're ready, Master Hawkins.
Do you think this will work, Dr. Livesey?
Oh, yes! My research indicates
that pirates are very superstitious.
Boogie, boogie, boogie!
I am the ghost of Samuel Arrow.
-Boogie! -(GASPS, WHIMPERING)
(SCREAMING)
JANE: Come on, we've got to save
the Captain!
Fantastic, Mr. Arrow.
That was beautiful.
What do we do next?
What do we do now? Uh, Jim?
-Weigh anchor? -Weigh anchor, okay.
-Set the sails. -Set the sails!
And you, Squire Trelawney.
(STAMMERING) Now,
Master Hawkins, I...
You take the helm.
Ah!
Step aside, Mr. Bimbo.
I shall be taking the helm.
Hurry, Rizzo!
(GRUNTING)
I'm going as fast as I can.
-(GROANS) -Smolly, my love!
Oh, oh!
(GROANING)
Smolly!
(SNIFFS)
You can't hurt my frog!
Don't tell him anything, Mina.
Uh, I beg you!
He'll only kill you too. Don't listen to him!
-Now... -(GASPS)
-(WHIMPERING) -For the last time,
where's the bloody treasure?
(PIRATES YELLING)
Ha!
Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop!
The treasure's at my place.
North trail, split-level hut with the pink
lawn furniture. You can't miss it.
Now free him at once, you scoundrel!
-(KISSING) -(SPITTING)
(LAUGHTER)
You know, I'm beginning to see
a pattern in the men I date.
Yeah, well, the past is behind us.
And the future... Below us.
(WHIMPERING)
Oh, it's okay, Mina.
We're together again.
Yes. Despite it all
(SNIFFS) we have each other.
Don't cry for me, Benjamina.
Pardon?
♪ Was I dumb or was I blind
♪ Or did my heart just lose its mind
♪ Why'd I go and throw
♪ our perfect dream away
♪ Looking back I'll never know
♪ How I ever let you go
♪ But destiny could see we deserved
♪ to have another day
♪ Love led us here
♪ Right back to where we belong
♪ We followed a star and here we are
♪ Now heaven seems so near
♪ Love led us here
♪ Now I know that life can take you by surprise
♪ And sweep you off your feet
♪ Did this happen to us
♪ Or are we just dreaming
♪ Love led us here
♪ Right back to where we belong
♪ We followed a star and here we are
♪ Now heaven seems so near
♪ Love led us here
♪ So take my hand
♪ And have no fear
♪ We'll be all right
♪ Love led us
♪ here ♪
(SCREAMING)
Oh, Smolly. You saved me.
(STRAINING)
(GRUNTS)
JAMES: Make ready to sail!
STARBOARD: Aye aye, Captain!
I love the life of a pirate.
-(SQUEAKING) -(GASPS)
But I hate rats.
STARBOARD: Move it, Port.
PORT: I'll move it in me own good time.
Huh, see anything?
Nope. All clear up here.
Well, it's not clear down here. It stinks!
I know, isn't it great?
-Smells just like skunk. -Huh.
Spoken like a true Animal Fairy.
I wish.
All right, you guys.
Remember, right arm, left foot. Got it?
FAIRIES: Aye aye.
Sil, I'm right, you're left.
-SILVERMIST: Right. -No, left.
-I mean, left. -What?
-And you're right. -(SCOFFS) Let's go.
Aye aye!
(FAIRIES GROAN)
SILVERMIST: Big pole.
FAIRIES: Back, back, back.
VIDIA: Forward, forward, forward.
Hey, you swabs, work faster!
Hey!
Oppenheimer!
Don't forget the kippers. (LAUGHING)
And you, back to work.
Ah, muy bien.
Ah, we're gonna fly, mate!
We're gonna fly!
ROSETTA: It's a do-si-do.
FAWN: I can't dance!
(LAUGHING)
(ALL GASP)
VIDIA: Uh-oh.
Look out!
-(ALL GASP) -VIDIA: Fly!
PORT: Would you watch
where I'm going?
FAWN: Go, go!
(BOTH GROAN)
Come on!
-Hurry up! -Okay.
We got it!
JAMES: Return that blue dust!
-Or your friend is done for. -(GASPS)
JAMES: That's right.
Captain Zarina
has been relieved of duty.
Ha.
You truly are a talented fairy.
(GRUNTS)
Prepare to cast off!
Weigh anchor and get ready to fly,
me hearties!
Casting off!
It's working!
I can't believe my eye!
YANG: Weigh anchor!
-(LAUGHING) -BONITO: We're flying!
PIRATES: We're flying!
OPPENHEIMER: It's perfect.
We can fly!
OPPENHEIMER:
Oh, my! Up, up and away!
(PIRATES LAUGHING)
STARBOARD:
Shiver me timbers, we're flying!
-Bon voyage, little captain. -(SCREAMING)
-No! -(FAIRIES GASP)
(ALL GRUNTING)
-Come on, hurry! -(ALL STRAINING)
Hurry!
(ZARINA COUGHING)
Help! Please!
Help! (GASPS)
(GRUNTING)
Help me!
(GASPS)
-Here, I'll dry you off. -(ALL PANTING)
(PIRATES LAUGHING)
JAMES: We're flying!
Are you okay?
You saved me.
Why?
Let's just say,
we're offering you quarter.
I'm so sorry.
(ZARINA SIGHS)
They're headed for the second star.
If they make it past
we'll never find them.
The blue dust will be gone forever.
Then let's stop them
before they get there.
Captain.
Come on, men!
It's back to blighty now, lads!
The treasure's all ours!
(CHATTERING, SHOUTING)
Hurry, Come on. Get in the boat.
Long John! Long John! Look! The ship!
BLACK-EYED PEA:
What are they doing?
MUD BUNNY: There's no one on board.
It's coming straight for us!
(STAMMERING) It's the ghost
of Captain Flinty.
He's coming to kill us.
(SCREAMING)
Come back, you cowards!
Hawkins.
Port, Starboard, get up the mizzen
and raise the royal.
BOTH: Aye aye, Captain!
Raising the royal!
More pixie dust!
(JAMES LAUGHING)
Who's in the mood to plunder?
You guys turn the ship around.
-I'm getting back that blue dust. -Right.
Look, it's the Captain and the pig.
Oh, no!
(WHIMPERS)
Head for those cliffs.
-Head for the cliffs, Squire. -Aye, aye! Oh!
Oh, Beakie, Beakie. Look, look!
I think we're going to need a net.
-Come on. -(WHIMPERING)
Get back there,
you yellow-bellied bilge rats!
I'm not losing that treasure now!
Get out!
We're lowering the net now.
All right, let's go.
Okay. That's it. Beautiful. Beautiful.
We're coming, Captain Smollett!
(BENJAMINA WHIMPERING)
-Steady! Steady! -Careful!
(WHIMPERING)
Au revoir, mon capitaine.
-(SCREAMING) -We got him!
-(CHEERING) -Yes!
(GRUNTS)
-Ah! -Oh, no!
(GASPS, WHIMPERS)
Waldorf, you old fool! We're heroes!
We saved the pig and the frog.
Well, it was too late to save the movie.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Welcome aboard, Captain Smollett.
And welcome to your lady pig friend.
(SCREAMS) Look out!
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING, SPITTING)
Look alive, men!
The second star, dead ahead.
-Nothing but smooth sailing. -(THUDDING)
Huh?
ALL: Yeah!
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
Fairies! Fairies!
-It's the fairies! -(LAUGHS)
She's back? Well, get them off my ship.
-Gladly. -(PIRATES LAUGHING)
(ALL GRUNTING)
(LAUGHS) It's actually
quite amusing.
Stand your ground, men!
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHING)
-Yang, the helm! -(LAUGHING)
Aye aye, Captain!
Ladies, until we meet again.
(LAUGHING)
-Great. -Ha.
You dare to fight the captain, do you?
Only until I get that dust.
(LAUGHING)
Well, this should be fun.
(GRUNTING)
The Captain must have his sword.
Whoa!
GONZO: Wow!
(YELLING)
Captain!
(YELLING)
Fight, you idiots!
(GRUNTING)
Captain!
Here!
(GRUNTS)
All right! No more Ms. Nice Guy!
No-one maroons me
and gets away with it!
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
Come here, you little cuties.
-Okay, this isn't working. -(GASPS)
Fawn, the spyglass!
Brilliant!
(LAUGHS)
-(GRUNTS) -(SCREAMS)
BONITO: You tiny thing.
(SCREAMING)
-No! -(WATER SPLASHING)
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
(STAMMERS) Man overboard!
(GASPS) I did it!
Stop them, you imbeciles.
They're six-inch fairies!
-Good to see you alive, Mr. Arrow. -Thank you, Captain.
Geronimo!
Oh, what am I gonna do?
-Come on! -Come on, you!
Oh, sorry.
-En garde! -Ah!
Me casa es su casa.
Ah, I make cheese out of you. Come on!
(KARATE YELLS)
(GRUNTS)
Cucaracha.
Ha!
Fawn, the wheel!
(GROANING)
Sil, whirlwind!
(YANG CONTINUES GROANING)
Take that! Whoa, whoa...
Blast it. The second star!
They turned the ship around!
-Yup, we sure did. -(GRUNTS)
Get this ship back on course!
Aye aye, Captain! (GRUNTING)
-Now! -(GRUNTS)
(EXCLAIMS)
Why you...
Bull's-eye!
(GRUNTING)
No fair! Come back here!
Fairies, fairies, nothing but fairies!
Stop moving so fast.
Ha-ha! Just one more, pirate.
Jingle-jingle. Ha!
(GASPS)
Uh-oh! (GROANS)
-Nice work. -Just thinking like a Tinker.
-(SNICKERS) -Ah!
Come on, Jerry! He's just a kid!
(GRUNTING, LAUGHING)
Oh!
Okay, okay, okay!
Okay, I give... Uncle. Uh, I'm dead.
No, no, no! Take that, you little...
-Oh. my! -(ROARS)
Avast, crocky! Charge!
OPPENHEIMER: No!
Get it away, get it away,
get it away, get it away!
Yeah, that's it.
Don't make me use my teaspoon.
Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't, you little...
-Oh! You ate my mummy's clock? -(CLOCK TICKING)
What was wrong with the spatula?
(LAUGHING) Sic him!
(SCREAMING)
(WATER SPLASHING)
Oh! (LAUGHING)
That's my crocky.
There's nothing I revel quite as much
-as a worthy opponent. -(GRUNTING)
(STRAINING)
(GROANS)
You're stronger than you look.
-(GRUNTING) -(FAIRIES STRAINING)
Hey, need some help?
IRIDESSA: Anchor's away!
Grow some seaweed, sunflower.
PIRATES: Whoa!
Ahh! (GROWLS)
(CHUCKLES)
Now, that's some seaweed!
I've had just about
enough of this.
(GRUNTING)
Ha!
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL GASP)
(FAIRIES GROAN)
-(GASPS) -You, too!
(GRUNTING)
(LAUGHING)
(GRUNTING)
Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Bimbo, help!
(GRUNTING, SHOUTING)
(GROANING)
Am I dead?
(CHUCKLES)
Wonderful!
(WHIMPERS, GASPS)
Mr. Bimbo!
That was some amazing swordplay!
(GRUNTING)
Take that!
Watch out, Mr. Arrow!
-(GRUNTS) -(GROANING)
Uh, well, thank you. But aren't you
supposed to be fighting against us?
Are you kiddin'? I love you, guys!
Hmm.
(LAUGHS)
Cowabunga!
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING) Come on. Fight!
Where are you?
Oh!
Hmm.
STARBOARD:
You're not going anywhere.
(LAUGHING)
These ought to fetch a hefty price, eh?
(FAIRIES WHIMPERING)
(GRUNTING)
Back on course.
(STRAINING)
(GRUNTING)
(YANG LAUGHS)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Give me that dust!
No!
(PIRATES YELPING)
(PIRATES SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
The dust! Not my dust!
No!
(SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
I got the dust.
TINKER BELL: Go on, you're okay.
ROSETTA: Oh, thank goodness.
(STRAINING)
Let's get you out of there.
-(LAUGHING) -(GASPS)
Lean right,
fly right.
-(ALL GASP) -I'll take that!
Now, where was I?
Ah, yes. The second star.
-(GROANING) -(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS) You simply don't give up.
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Well, I guess I'm stronger than I look.
(STRAINING)
The second star.
(GRUNTING)
-(GROANS) -(GRUNTS)
Oh...
(GASPS) Zarina!
You fought well, little fairy.
But it's over.
The dust is mine.
The ship is mine.
Your adventure has come to an end.
(GRUNTING)
(KISSING)
And as for you!
(WHIMPERS)
Silver!
Hmm, hmm.
Ha!
(YELLING)
Ha! Ha!
(CHUCKLES)
Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size, huh?
(LAUGHING)
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Wow!
BENJAMINA: Yes! Yes! Smolly! Yes!
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
SMOLLETT: Ha! BENJAMINA: Yes!
Ha-ha, Silver!
(HUMMING)
Ha-ha, ho-ho!
Not bad for an amphibian.
(CHEERING IN UNISON)
Smolly! Smolly, he's our man!
If he can't do it, no one can!
(HUMMING)
-Excuse me. -Pardon? Whoops.
(GASPS)
Oh!
(GRUNTS)
(BELL TINKLES)
Oh, go ahead, take it.
What's one speck between friends?
No, really, I think you should have it all!
-(ZARINA LAUGHING) -Huh?
From a trickle to a roar.
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS) Whoa!
(SCREAMING)
(FAIRIES GASP)
SILVERMIST: We're free!
(SCREAMING)
Look at him go!
He's very fast.
Yeah, you think?
(SCREAMING)
(CLEARS THROAT) Uh... Uh...
Uh... I'm a frog.
You know, slippery hands.
(CHUCKLING)
You know, I never really believed that
violence solved anything anyway.
Really? Allow me to disagree, Cap'n.
(WHIMPERS)
Kill Captain Smollett,
and you'll have to kill me.
Kill Jim, and you'll have to kill me.
Kill Gonzo, and you'll have to kill me.
Kill Squire Trelawney and Mr. Bimbo,
 and you'll have to...
Negotiate strenuously.
Going somewhere, John-John?
(MURMURING)
Well, Mr. Hawkins,
it seems your little family
has come together against me.
(SNICKERING)
Is it time to get that blue dust back?
Watch this.
(ALL SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
Can't fly without dust.
Blast!
(PIRATES YELPING)
Goodbye, James.
JAMES: Curse you, fairies!
Curse you!
Tiny she-devils they are, really.
-(CLOCK TICKING) -Huh?
(GROANING)
(PIRATES LAUGHING)
Oh, no, no, no! (GROANS)
I am not a codfish! (GROANING)
I'm a pirate!
-All right. -(FAIRIES LAUGHING)
You got the dust!
-We did it! -(ALL CHEERING)
We can go home!
Oh, I'm gonna soak in a nice,
hot milkweed bath.
Get the smell of pirates off me.
SILVERMIST:
That was what I was thinking.
-VIDIA: You said it, Ro. -(ALL GIGGLING)
Here, please,
take this back to Pixie Hollow.
TINKER BELL: Uh, Zarina,
we didn't just come for the dust.
-(LAUGHS JOYFULLY) -FAIRIES: Come on!
Um, Ro? There's something
you should know.
It's about your hair.
(ROSETTA SCREAMING)
First, I lose my talent,
then I become a mother.
I do-si-doed in a stinky shoe,
and now, my hair?
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
We're doomed.
Well, you know, I, for one,
feel better about myself.
Yeah. And I believe
that I have learned a valuable lesson.
-Why you! -Shut up!
(SHOUTING CONTINUES)
CLUELESS: Okay,
I said something wrong!
(KEYS RATTLING)
(THUD, SPLASH)
Silver!
I suppose you'll be blowing
the whistle on me now, won't you, Jim?
I suppose I will. You have to
return to Bristol to stand trial.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, I'm sorry, Jim.
I've got a terrible fear of hanging.
We're shipmates, aren't we, Jim?
Gentlemen of fortune, together.
Give us one more chance.
Oh, hell, Jim. I could never harm you.
You're honest and brave and true.
You didn't learn that from me.
I learned it from my friends, Mr. Silver.
Take your oars and row away.
I never want to see you again, ever.
Oh, Jim!
'Tis a shame, really.
We'd have made a great team, Jim.
Well done, Jim.
Your father would be proud.
Captain Smollett,
I have most distressing news.
One of the boats is missing,
and I know for a fact
that it was terribly unsafe.
♪ Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah
♪ Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah
♪ Well, you don't know who you are
♪ Sky is the limit And I just wanna flow
♪ Free as a spirit on a journey of hope
VIDIA: Hang on, guys!
♪ Cut the strings and let me go
♪ I'm weightless, I'm weightless
♪ Millions of balloons tethered to the ground ♪
Hey! There it is.
Home.
-(GRUNTING) -(FAIRIES SNORING)
(PANTING)
(GASPING)
And...now!
(EXHALES)
(SILVERMIST CHUCKLES)
(AUDIENCE SNORING)
(ALL YAWNING)
(PANTING)
(LAUGHING)
(ALL GASP)
(ALL YAWNING)
(GASPS) Bobble!
(CLANK LAUGHING)
You're awake!
(LAUGHING)
(ALL GASPING)
This is the best show yet!
Uh, girls?
Queen Clarion,
we got the blue dust back.
Which I didn't know was missing.
We also got Zarina.
-(GASPS) -FAIRY GARY: Zarina!
(LAUGHING)
-Oh, you're home! -(CHUCKLING)
Yeah. And from now on, I promise...
You know, Zarina's
pretty much mastered
that pixie dust thing of hers.
Yeah, she even grew a pixie dust tree.
Now, we've got an extra.
(GASPS)
Does this talent of yours have a name?
"Alchemy."
Pixie dust alchemy.
You should really see her in action.
-Oh, you definitely should. -Very impressive.
Hmm.
Well, we do have an audience.
(GASPS)
(BUZZING)
(AUDIENCE CHATTERING
EXCITEDLY)
AUDIENCE: Oh!
-(CHEERING) -(BLOWING BUGLE)
AUDIENCE: Wow!
Thanks.
Well, how's my hair?
It's good!
(AUDIENCE GASPING)
Yeah!
AUDIENCE: Oh!
(CHUCKLES)
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Whoo-hoo!
(ALL GASP)
(ALL CHEERING)
All right!
(ALL CHEERING)
Gorgeous.
(ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
ELSA:
Okay, okay, here we go.
So lonely.
Stiff.
(GASPS) I can't do that.
Come on, Elsa.
This is for Anna. You can do this.
KRISTOFF: Relax!
It looks great!
I just want it to be perfect.
Speaking of "perfect..."
Check this out.
(CHUCKLES)
Kristoff, are you sure I can
leave you in charge here?
Absolutely.
Because I don't want
anything to happen to this courtyard.
-What could happen? -(SNIFFLES)
It's all set.
(GASPS) Olaf, what are you doing?
(MUFFLED) I'm not eating cake.
Olaf...
But it's an ice cream cake.
And it's for Anna.
And it's for Anna.
-(BELL CHIMES) -(GASPS) Oh, it's time!
It's time!
For what?
Okay, (CHUCKLES)
you sure you got this?
I'm sure.
Don't let anyone in before we're ready.
-I won't. -And don't touch anything.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm just gonna stand here.
OLAF:
I'm probably gonna walk around a little.
-And keep an eye on that cake! -Ooh!
She thinks you're an idiot.
Well, clearly she's wrong.
Ooh! Ooh! Whoops. Whoa.
(OLAF CHUCKLES)
What? It's fine.
I can't read.
Or spell.
(SNORING)
Psst. Anna?
Yeah?
Happy birthday.
♪ ...to you
It's your birthday.
♪ ...to me
(LAUGHS)
It's my birthday.
Come on!
(GASPS) It's my birthday?
Mmm-hmm.
And it's going to be perfect because...
♪ You've never had a real birthday before
♪ Except of course the ones you spent
♪ Outside my locked door
(GASPS)
♪ So I'm here way too late to help you celebrate
(ANNA GRUNTS)
♪ And be your birthday date
♪ If I may
(SNEEZES)
(ELSA SNIFFLES)
(GROANS)
♪ Elsa, I'm thinkin' ya might have a cold
I don't get colds. Besides...
♪ A cold never bothered me anyway
Whoa.
(GASPING)
(CHUCKLES)
Fancy.
Just follow the string.
Wait, what?
♪ I've got big plans I've got surprises for today
(CHUCKLING)
♪ Nothin' but nothin's gonna get in our way
♪ I've worked for weeks
♪ Planned everything within my power
♪ I even got Kristoff and Sven to take a shower
♪ If someone want to hold me back
♪ I'd like to see them try
OLAF: Summer!
♪ I'm on the birthday plan attack
♪ I'm givin' you the sun the moon, and the sky
(SNIFFS AND SIGHS)
(SNEEZES)
Little brothers! (GASPS)
♪ I'm makin' today a perfect day for you
Ooh, sandwich.
♪ I'm makin' today a blast
♪ If it's the last thing I do
♪ For everything you are to me
♪ And all you've been through
-♪ Ugh! -♪ I'm makin' today...
♪ A perfect day for you
(GIGGLES)
(SNEEZES)
-(SNEEZES) -They come in threes.
I'm fine. (SNEEZES)
Hey!
♪ Surprise, surprise this one is specially...
(SNEEZES)
♪ Wow, you've got me reeling
♪ But I'm still concerned for you
♪ I think it's time that you go home and get some rest
♪ We are not stopping
♪ 'Cause the next one is the be...
Ah-ah...
Achoo!
♪ Elsa, you gotta go lie down
♪ No way, we have to paint the town
♪ But you need medical attention
Are you sick?
How about a cold remedy...
♪ Of my own invention?
-No, thanks. -We'll take it.
♪ We're making today a perfect day for you
♪ We're making today a special day
♪ We're singing a birthday song...
♪ To make your wishes come true
-♪ Wishes come true -♪ We love Princess Anna
(BLOWING NOSE)
♪ And I love you too
♪ So we're making today a perfect day
♪ A fabulous way in every way
♪ Yes, we are making today a perfect day
I can fix it.
No, no!
(GRUNTING)
(CHUCKLES)
OLAF: All fixed.
KRISTOFF:
"Dry Banana Hippy Hat"?
Come on. Now we climb!
Elsa, that's too much. You need to rest.
We need to get to our birthdays chills.
I mean thrills.
♪ Making dreams!
♪ Making plans!
♪ Go, go, go, go!
♪ Follow the string to the end You are my very best friend
-Elsa? -What?
♪ I'm fine
♪ We're gonna climb
♪ We're gonna sing
♪ Follow the string
♪ To the thing
♪ Happy, happy, happy
♪ Merry, merry, merry...
-♪ Hot, cold... -(GASPS)
♪ Hot birthday
Elsa, look at you, you've got a fever.
-You're burning up. -(SIGHS)
♪ All right we can't go on like this
♪ Let's put this day on hold
♪ Come on admit it to yourself
♪ Okay...
♪ I have a cold
I'm sorry, Anna.
I just wanted to give you
one perfect birthday.
But I ruined it. Again.
You didn't ruin anything.
Let's just get you to bed.
KRISTOFF: Oh, no,
please, please stop!
ALL: Surprise!
-Wow! -Wow.
♪ We're making today a perfect day...
-♪ For you -(GASPS)
♪ We're making today
(SNEEZES)
♪ A smiley face All shiny and new
♪ There's a fine line between chaos
♪ And a hullabaloo
♪ So we're makin' today a perfect day
♪ Makin' today a perfect day
♪ A-N-N-A!
♪ Makin' today a perfect day for you
Happy birthday.
♪ Makin' today a happy day
-♪ And no feelin' blue -♪ I love you, baby!
♪ For everything you are to us...
♪ And all that you do
I do.
♪ We're makin' today a perfect day
♪ Makin' today a perfect day
♪ Makin' today a perfect day
♪ A perfect day! ♪
Okay, to bed with you.
-No, wait. Wait. - Oh!
All that's left to do is for the Queen
to blow the birthday bukkehorn.
-Oh, no, no, no. -(SNEEZES)
(HORN SOUNDS)
(GRUNTING)
Ah! (GROANS)
(NEIGHING)
Best birthday present ever.
Which one?
You letting me take care of you.
(SNEEZES)
(KNOCKS)
This way, Sludge and Slush
and Slide and Ansel...
and Flake and Fridge
and Flurry and Powder...
and Crystal and Squalor
and Pat and Sphere...
and William.
Don't ask.
Ah!
(SHOUTING, LAUGHING)
This is not fun.
Flaubert, meet Da-Da.
-Ready to sail, sir. -Hmm.
Where to, Captain Hawkins?
To wherever the wind may take us.
Off to Zanzibar,
to meet the Zanzibarbarians.
Oh, brother. Here they go again.
(LAUGHTER)
(STEEL DRUMS MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ If I could reach the top of the world
♪ Be all I am It'd be so beautiful
♪ If only I could be brave and I could be strong
♪ I would know where I belong
♪ If only
♪ I wanna feel free to be who I am
♪ What I'm about is more than I've been
♪ Ready to show the world who I am
♪ Started it out, but I'm holding in
♪ And find my own place to stay
♪ I can be who I am
(VOCALIZING)
SMEE: Man in the water!
Oh, dear.
Oh, my.
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
That's a very nice hook.
(GRUNTS)
Just give me a hand.
♪ I'm closer to what I'm meant to be
♪ If I try I know that I can get there
♪ I'm not gonna stop 'cause I believe
♪ That there's so much more to me
♪ I wanna feel free to be who I am
♪ What I am about is more than I've been
♪ Ready to show the world who I am
♪ Started it out, but I am holding in
♪ Find my own place to stay
♪ So I can be who I am
(VOCALIZING)
♪ I can be who I am
♪ I can be who I am
(LOVE POWER PLAYING)
♪ Love power
♪ Love power
♪ Love power
♪ A little love power
♪ Stronger than the hurricane
♪ And softer than the summer rain
-♪ Love power -♪ What kind of power?
♪ A little love power
♪ It can lift you up Lift you up when you get low
♪ And make your life bright as a rainbow
♪ Whoa
♪ There ain't no sun in the morning sky
♪ Breeze ain't blowing and the bird don't fly
♪ Then someone kind reaches out a hand
♪ And smiles a warm sweet smile
♪ And then your heart come to understand
♪ What make de world spin
♪ Where de magic begin
♪ Someone to believe in
♪ Feels so good when everybody feels
♪ Love power There's no higher power
-♪ A little love power -♪Nothing in the world
♪ Stronger than the hurricane
♪ And softer than the summer rain
♪ Oh, love power
-♪ Everybody feel it -♪ A little love power
♪Oh-oh-oh-oh
♪ Lift you up when you get low
♪ And make you life bright as the rainbow
♪ Whoa
♪ So many people, they feel so bad
♪ Yeah, they make the money but they still so sad
♪ Nobody told them that it ain't that stuff
♪ That makes life worthwhile
♪ 'Cause even if you're got enough
♪ You got less than nothing 'Til you know for certain
♪ Enough to put your faith in
♪ It feels so good when everybody feels
-♪ Love power -♪ People, can you feel it
♪ A little love power
♪ Lift you up when you get low
♪ And make you life bright as the rainbow
♪ Let me tell you now
♪ Whoa
♪ Fell the inspiration
-♪ Hey -♪ Don't feel like heaven
♪ It makes the soul and the spirit strong
♪ When everybody come and every single one
♪ they hear the song now
♪ Oh, love power
♪ A little love power
♪ Stronger than the hurricane
♪ And softer than the summer rain
-♪ Can you feel it, oh? -♪ Love power
-♪ What kind of power -♪ A little love power
♪ It can lift you up
♪ Lift you up when you get low
♪ And make your life bright as the rainbow
♪ Lift you up when you get low
♪ And make your life bright as the rainbow ♪
So, Johnny. May I call you, Johnny?
Stop me if you've heard this one.
Why does the ocean roar?
Give up?
You would, too,
if you had crabs on your bottom...
And oysters in your bed.
(LAUGHS)
Get it? Oysters? Bed?
Ooh, I love that one.
I'm tellin' ya,
I got a million more just like that.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ First the Tower of London, arr!
♪ The guards won't know what hit it
♪ We'll swoop right down and take the crown
♪ And the Crown Jewels with it
♪ And when we fly to Paris
♪ Oh, the treasures I'll be grabbin'
♪ The Mona Lisa will look lovely
♪ Hanging in me cabin
♪ Hey-ho
♪ Imagine the places that we'll go
♪ No one can stop us When we're so
♪ High in the stratosphere!
♪ Hey-ho
♪ We'll be the freighter that plunders
♪ Every one of the world's seven wonders
♪ When we're up in the skies
♪ For who can fight a frigate that flies?
♪ No one can fight a frigate that flies
♪ Next we'll roam to Rome, me lads
♪ And here's what I'll be stealin'
♪ I'll rob the Sistine Chapel
♪ Of the Sistine Chapel's c:eilin'
♪ And for all the folks in Egypt
♪ It will be a dismal day
♪ They'll be crying for their mummies
♪ When we take their mummies away!
♪ Hey-ho
♪ Imagine the places that we'll go
♪ No can stop us when we're so high!
♪ They will all cower in fear
♪ Hey-ho, from Delhi to Rio to Venice
♪ There's no city that we will not menace
♪ When we're up in the skies
♪ For who can fight a frigate that flies?
♪ No one can fight a frigate that flies
-♪ Oh, how high we will be! -♪ We will be
♪ 'Cause the blue fairy dust Surely packs a mighty wallop
♪ Only takes a dollop
-♪ Soon it will set us free -♪ We'll be free
♪ From the chains of gravity
♪ Then we'll hoist up the sail
♪ And we'll set course for the sun
♪ 'Cause when you've got wings
♪ No wicked deed cannot be done
♪ And we owe it all
♪ To our great and glorious captain
YANG: Two, three, four!
♪ Hey-ho, imagine the places that we'll go
♪ No one can stop us when we're so high
-♪ Givin' a pirate cheer -♪ Arr!
♪ Hey-ho, we'll be the freighter that plunders
♪ Every one of the world's seven wonders
♪ When we're up in the skies
♪ For who can fight a frigate that flies?
♪ Hey-ho, there's not a town or a county
♪ That will not yield its bounty up
♪ When our ship draws near
♪ Hey-ho, there's not a city or village
♪ That we will not plunder or pillage
♪ When we're up in the skies
♪ For who can fight a frigate that flies?
♪ And every nation will give a donation
♪ When they see us sail the skies
♪ In a frigate that flies!
♪ Hey! ♪