Wind in the Willows (The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad) subtitles

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NARRATOR: If you were asked
choose the most fabulous character
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in English literature, who would it be?

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Robin Hood?
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King Arthur?

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Becky Sharp? Sherlock Holmes?

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Oliver Twist, perhaps?

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Any one of them
would be an excellent choice.

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Still, for the most fabulous character
of all, I would nominate a toad.
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J. Thaddeus Toad, Esquire.

Have you never met him?

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You'll find his story in this delightful
book, The Wind In The Willows.
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Toad, you might say,
was the one disturbing element.

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Incurable adventurer.
Mad, reckless, tried everything.

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Positive mania for fads,
and he never counted the cost.

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Had a host of fair-weather friends,
of course,
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but there were only three
who had his best interests at heart.

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One was a badger.
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MacBadger.

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Then there was a water rat. Bit stuffy,
perhaps, but really a fine fellow.
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And a mole.

Gentle creature, kind and sympathetic.

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They all made their homes in a quaint
little community along a riverbank.

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Now, on that particular day,
Mole was in a hurry because...

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(CHIMING)
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Oh, yes, because he was late for tea.

A regrettable habit.
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Rat had more or less
learned to put up with it.
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As usual, "Sorry, Rat," says Mole.
"Quite all right," says Rat.
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"Two lumps?"
"If you please," says Mole.
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Just as they were getting
comfortably settled...

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(KNOCKING)
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-Special delivery, Mr. Rat.

-Thank you, postman.
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How's everything
on the river today, sir?
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Dashed quiet, as usual. Thank you.
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Mole. Listen to this.
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(RAT READING)
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Rat was certain Toad was making
trouble again.

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The answer to that lay
just around the bend at Toad Hall,

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the ancestral home
of J. Thaddeus himself.

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This impressive structure,
by the way, was by all odds
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the finest home on the river.

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The animals were

tremendously proud of it.

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They felt it gave the whole community
an air of respectability.

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To lose Toad Hall was,

of course, unthinkable.

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Yet it was no secret

that Toad's costly follies

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had brought him
to the brink of bankruptcy.

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As a last resort,
MacBadger volunteered

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to take over
and put Toad's house in order.

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(GROANING)
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-Smashed fence.
-(THUDDING)
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12 guineas.
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(THUDDING CONTINUES)
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Damage, lamppost.
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-$4.6s.
-(THUDDING)
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(THUDDING CONTINUES)
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Destruction o' hen house.
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Um... Ach!
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How can a man figure out all this

with all this hubbub?
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(ANGRY SHOUTING)
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-I will not be put off!

-Pay my bill!
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Silence! You'll get your money

in due course.
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Now go along with you.
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I'll pay no more today.
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Why did I ever assume
the responsibility of looking after...
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Ach.
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Didn't I tell you...
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Ah.
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It's you, Rat. And Mole, too.
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Thank goodness, lads.
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You've come at last.

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NARRATOR: Poor MacBadger.
He'd reached the end of his rope.
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-For as he said himself...

-I'm practically a nervous wreck.
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I say, MacBadger,
what seems to be the trouble?
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Summat's got to be done about Toad!
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This time he's going too far.
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-But he promised us.

-Promises?
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What good are his promises

when these wild manias take him?
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Now, look. You're his closest friends.
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-Are you not?

-Yes.
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-Very dear friends.

-Then, lads,
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you've got to find Toad and stop him.
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-What's he doing?

-He's got a new mania.
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He's rampaging about the county

in a canary-yellow gypsy cart.
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With a horse named Cyril.

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TOAD: Tally-ho!
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(SINGING) Are we on our way
to Nottingham
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Brittingham or Buckingham?
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Or any hammy hamlet by the sea?
No!
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Are we on our way to Devonshire
Lancashire or Worcestershire?
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I'm not so sure
We'll have to wait and see
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Are we on our way to Dover
Or flowing merrily over
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The jolly old road
that goes to Plymouth Ho?
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No!
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We're merrily, merrily, merrily
merrily, merrily on our way
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To nowhere in particular
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We're merrily, merrily, merrily
merrily, merrily on our way
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Through the roads are perpendicular
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-We're always in a hurry
-We have no time to stall
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We've got to be there, got to be there
Here we come to call
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We're merrily, merrily, merrily
merrily, merrily on our way
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And we may be going to Dovonshire
to Lancashire, to Worcestershire
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We're not so sure
but what do we care?
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We're only sure we've got to be there
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We're merrily on our way
to nowhere at all
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Hello, you fellows. You're the very
animals I was coming to see.
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Come along. Hop up here.

We'll go for a jolly ride.

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TOAD: The open road.
The dusty highway.
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Come! I'll show you the world.
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Travel! Change! Excitement!
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Ha, ha, ha!
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CYRIL: Ahem!
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Ahem.
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How stupid of me.
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I want you fellows to meet
my noble steed, Cyril.
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That's me. (CLICKS TONGUE)
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A bit of a trotter, a bit of a rotter.
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How do you do? How do you do?
(POSH) How do you do?
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How do you do?
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I say, guvnor, your friends seem
to be a bit on the stuffy side. What?
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We want to have a talk with you.
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Oh. A visit?
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-Splendid.
-RAT: This is serious.
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You've got to give up
that horse and cart.
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Give up my...
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But my dear Ratty, (CHUCKLES)
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this is my career.
_________________________________

-Surely you can't mean...

-I do mean it.
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You've got to stop this foolishness.
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-No.

-You must.
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-I won't do it.

-Your reckless behavior...
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I won't

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RAT: You're fast becoming
a menace to society.
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If you won't think of yourself,
think of poor, old MacBadger.
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As for that horse,
no good can ever come from
_________________________________
gadding about with such a fast
and irresponsible beast.
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-Get him, Mole.

-Come down, Toady.
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Stop it. Let me go.

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Giddy up, Cyril!
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It's no use.
You'll never get me to give this up.
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Whee! Tally-ho!
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Yikes!
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(HORN)
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(CYRIL WHINNIES)
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Hey...
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(ENGINE SPLUTTERS)
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(HORN)
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Gad!
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-What is it?

-Lumme, Guvnor!
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-It's a motor car.

-Motor car?
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(ENGINE BACKFIRES)
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(SPLUTTERING)
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(CRASHING)
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(CAR HORN)
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A motor car.
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Gad.
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What have I been missing?
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(IMITATES SOUND OF ENGINE)
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Ratty...
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It isn't... He hasn't...
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It is and he has.
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A new mania. Motor mania!

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NARRATOR: Mania. That's it.
That's what it was.
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A positive mania.

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No telling where it would end, either.

Might linger for months.
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And with Toad Hall at stake,
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well, Rat and Mole had no choice.

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There was only one thing to do.

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Lock the poor chap in his chambers
and keep him there.
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Until the poison worked
out of his system.

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(TOAD MAKES CAR NOISES)
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Hold him, Moley.
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(SPLUTTERS)

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RAT: That's better.
And you can't escape.
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There's simply no use trying.
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Let me out of here. Open up.
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Open up, I tell you.
Please! Ratty! Moley! Open the door.
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Playing jailer to one's dearest friend
wasn't exactly a pleasant situation.
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In fact, Moley weakened right at
the start and wanted to call it quits.
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But Ratty said no, definitely not.

This time, they must be firm.
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(RATTLING)
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(THUDDING)
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After all, it wasn't just a matter
of saving Toad from himself.
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There was MacBadger to consider,
and Toad Hall and all that it stood for.
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There was only one thing wrong with
Ratty's cure for Toad's motor mania.

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It didn't work.
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You see, Toad was far too clever.

and at the moment, completely mad.

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He was determined to get a motor car.

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Even if he had to beg, borrow or...

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MAN: Toad arrested!
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(VERY RAPIDLY) His Majesty's Court
of Assizes...
_________________________________
Toad of Toad Hall... 24th August...
On the following brief...
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(BLUSTERS)
_________________________________
(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

Accuses J. Thaddeus Toad

of stealing a motor car...
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In reckless manner on a high road...
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To the endangerment of the subjects
of His Majesty... Their life and limbs.
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Counsel for the Crown,

proceed with the case.
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M'lord, I call as first Crown witnesses
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Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole!
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Is it true that you had the accused
locked in his own house
_________________________________

because he threatened

to get a motor car?
_________________________________

Did you or did you not

have him locked up?
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-We did.

-Thank you. That is all.

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JUDGE: Next witness.
CLERK: Mr. Angus MacBadger!
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As trustee of the Toad estate,
_________________________________

you knew of the prisoner's mania
for motor cars.
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Well...
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Due to his reckless extravagance,

you cut off his allowance.
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Well...
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Then he was, to the best
of your knowledge, without funds.
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-Well...

-That is all. Thank you.

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COUNSEL FOR CROWN:
Gentlemen of the jury, the Crown rests.
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Counsel for the defence

will present his case.
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(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

M'lord, with the court's indulgence,
_________________________________

I rise prepared to plead
my own defense.
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(CLAPPING)
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RAT: Moley.
_________________________________

Stop it.
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Gentlemen of the jury,
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I call as my first witness
Cyril Proudbottom.
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CLERK: Cyril Proudbottom.
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(WHINNYING)
_________________________________

Are you acquainted
with the defendant, J. Thaddeus Toad?
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Lord, love a duck, yes!
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He's one of the jolliest chaps
I have ever run across.
_________________________________

And simply tons of money!
_________________________________

Good fellow, eh? Throws it away?
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But he wasn't throwing it away that day.
_________________________________

You heard Mr. MacBadger testify

that his allowance was cut off.
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Then how did he get a motor car?
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The only way a gentleman

gets anything.
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-The honest way.

-And what is the honest way?
_________________________________

Ha, ha! I thought you wouldn't know that.
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(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________

Your Lordship, I...
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The witness may testify

in his own words.
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Righto, guvnor.

Now I'll give you the facts of the case.
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For when Toady escaped
from his boudoir,
_________________________________

he come heading straight for my place.

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Soon we was off down the highway,

but hadn't gone far, I confess,

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when all of a sudden,
with a rush and a roar,
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something passed

like the London Express.

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It was big. It was red.

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It was beautiful.

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A motor car!
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A bit of all right.

_________________________________
Toady was transfixed with rapture.

_________________________________
You could tell it was love at first sight.

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The motor pulled up to a tavern,

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wherein was located a bar.

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And we watched
while some tough-looking weasels

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got out of that lovely red car.

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Now, weasels, I know, are deceitful.

And not to be trusted at all.

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But how could I know

they'd stolen that car?

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I didn't have no crystal ball.

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And the guvnor, he's not one to dally.

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He made up his mind like a flash.
He says...

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"Try it for size, my good Cyril, while
I see what they'll take for it cash."
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So into the tavern he saunters,
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where the barman was back o' the bar.

And he said...
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Cheerio, tavern-keeper,
who's the owner of that hot-looking car?

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CYRIL: The barman,
a codger named Winky,
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leaned over the bar and said...

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Why?

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-CYRIL: The guvnor answered...
-That car must be mine.
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Whatever the price is, I'll buy.
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But Toad found he hadn't no money.

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So he promptly offered a trade.

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The weasels appeared to be willing.

In a moment, the bargain was made.

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Then Toady drawed up a paper
with almost incredible speed.

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And he called on
old Winky the barman

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to pop over and witness the deed.

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Now, the guvnor's not a bit stingy.

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He never does anything small.
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The weasels gave him

the red motor car.
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And he gave the weasels Toad Hall.
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Hmm.
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Traded Toad Hall?
An estate worth $100,000.
_________________________________
For a motor car!
_________________________________

You expect me to believe that?
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I don't expect you to believe anything.
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But fortunately, I can produce a witness.
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Call Mr. Winky.
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CLERK: Mr. Winky. Mr. Winky.
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(JUDGE BANGS GAVEL)
_________________________________

M'Lord, gentlemen,
_________________________________

facing you in the witness box is
a citizen of substance and standing.
_________________________________

A man of unimpeachable honesty.
_________________________________

Now, Mr. Winky,
do you recall an incident
_________________________________
that took place in your establishment

last August 12th
_________________________________

that I was a party to?
_________________________________

Oh, yes, sir.
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That I do, sir.
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Well, then, (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
just tell the court
what actually happened.
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Well, guvnor.
_________________________________

You tried to sell me a stolen motor car.
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That's a deliberate lie,

you monkey-faced little rumpot.
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I've been framed. Let me go!
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Help!

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MAN: Toad guilty!
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NARRATOR: News of Toad's disgrace
rocked the nation.
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Seems the court was determined

to make an example of him.

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Of course, Toad's friends tried
to help him, but they were blocked.

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They must have reopened the case
at least a dozen times.

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Appealed to this court, that court,

any court.
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But the decision stood.
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The case of J. Thaddeus Toad
was closed.

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(SINGING) Merry, merry Christmastime

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Bind every heart with happiness...

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NARRATOR: Yes, once again
it was a white Christmas.
_________________________________

And once again,
the melodies of Yuletide
_________________________________
hung sweet upon the winter's air.
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Hearts were gay and spirits high.
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Indeed, in all the city,

there was but one spot
_________________________________
untouched by the warmth
of Christmas cheer.
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The tower. Grim monument to despair.
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Cold, cruel, forbidding.
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And unfortunately, the abode of Toad
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for a good many Christmases
yet to come.
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Poor Toad. Alone with the memories
of his wasted life.
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What a fool he'd been.
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With many a pang, he recalled
the kindly face of Angus MacBadger,
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and his sage advice so often scorned.
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A tear for Moley, too, for his loyalty,
his sympathy, his understanding.
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And Toad wept for Rat, and all those

little lectures so often laughed at.
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Yes, within the dark confines

of his miserable cell,
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a new Toad was born.
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A reformed Toad. A repentant Toad.
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In a flood of remorse,
he vowed once and for all
_________________________________
to forsake the follies

of the primrose path.
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Never, never again would he give way

to those mad, foolish manias
_________________________________

that had brought him to this sorry end.

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Being as it's Christmas,
you're allowed a visitor.
_________________________________

-Your grandma's here.

-Grandma?
_________________________________

(HIGH-PITCHED)
A merry Christmas, sonny.
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Granny wouldn't forget

her little Toady boy.
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-Cyril!
-Shh!
_________________________________
(CREAKING)
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Oh. (SOBS)
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Cyril. (SOBS)
_________________________________

Look, Christmas gift.
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-(STUTTERS) What is it?

-Don't you get it?
_________________________________

A disguise.
_________________________________

Now, all you've got to do is put on

this natty little costume and...

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NARRATOR: Alas, for good intentions,
Toad was incurable.
_________________________________

One whispered word
and all his high resolve
_________________________________

vanished in the mad whirl

of this new adventure, this new mania.
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Escape!

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-Toad's escaped!
-(SIRENS)
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(SIRENS CONTINUE)
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-(TOAD GASPS)
-(FRENZIED BARKING)
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(SIRENS CONTINUE TO BLARE)

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MAN: Halt!
_________________________________

-Oh, good evening, ma'am.

-Good evening to you, Officer.
_________________________________

(SINGING) We're merrily, merrily,
merrily merrily...

_________________________________
(CLANKING)
_________________________________
Begging your pardon, milady...
_________________________________
-Hey!
-(THUDDING)

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POLICEMAN: You fellows over there,
you see him?
_________________________________

NARRATOR: Gad!
What perfectly ripping luck.
_________________________________

Trap Toad, would they? Aha! Never!

_________________________________
MAN: There he goes.
_________________________________

-POLICEMAN: Where?
-Over there!
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(WHISTLE)
_________________________________
Bang, bang, bang.
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NARRATOR: Blockheads, let them
scour the countryside.
_________________________________

Once more, J. Thaddeus Toad
had the last laugh.

_________________________________
That same Christmas Eve,

along the riverbank,
_________________________________

the name of Toad
was banned from conversation,

_________________________________
lest the memory of his disgrace

becloud the merriment of the season.

_________________________________
And yet there was one home at least
in which two loyal hearts
_________________________________

still held the warmth

of Christian charity.

_________________________________
Bless this good food

we are about to enjoy.
_________________________________

Bless us, every one.
_________________________________

And bless poor Toad.
_________________________________

And may he get time off

for good behavior.
_________________________________
(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

Why, it's a poor old lady.
_________________________________

Let's take her over by the fire.
_________________________________
Ow!
_________________________________
Toad!
_________________________________

What are you doing here?
_________________________________

-I was just...

-Well, this is a merry Christmas.
_________________________________

-But aren't you afraid of the police?

-Afraid of the police?
_________________________________
(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

I, Toad, afraid of the police?

_________________________________
-MALE: Open up! Open up, I say!
-The police!
_________________________________

Hide me.
_________________________________

Sorry, but you owe a debt to society

and you've got to pay.
_________________________________

Let them in.
_________________________________

-(KNOCKING)
-But, Ratty...
_________________________________

-Don't you think, maybe....
-Open the door.

_________________________________
RAT: MacBadger.
_________________________________

(PANTS) Aye, lads.
_________________________________

I've just made
a very important discovery.

_________________________________
Toad Hall is ablaze with lights.

_________________________________
And in possession of

a pack of weasels.

_________________________________
And the leader of the gang

is none other than Mr...

_________________________________
WEASELS: Winky!
_________________________________
WEASEL: Hip, hip...
_________________________________

Hooray!
_________________________________

And so, you see, he did trade
Toad Hall for the motor car.
_________________________________

Then Toad was innocent all the time.
_________________________________

Aye, lads, and if he were only here,
right now...
_________________________________

-Toad!

-Angus.
_________________________________

Sorry, Toad, I misjudged you.
_________________________________

I hope someday
you'll find it in your heart...
_________________________________

Tut-tut, not another word.
_________________________________

To err is human, to forgive...
_________________________________

Thaddeus, not so fast.
_________________________________

You're still guilty in the eyes of the law.
_________________________________

To prove your innocence, we've got

to get that paper away from Winky.
_________________________________

Now, I have a plan.
_________________________________

We'll sneak in
through the secret tunnel.

_________________________________
NARRATOR: It was an excellent plan,
_________________________________
cunningly contrived,
but extremely dangerous.

_________________________________
It would work only if each did his part.
_________________________________
There was no margin for error.

_________________________________
The odds against them
were tremendous.

_________________________________
But the stakes were high.

_________________________________
Now steady's the word.

_________________________________
One false move and four lives
hang in the balance.

_________________________________
Careful, lads. There is a guard.
_________________________________

-I'll pop him off.

-Stop!
_________________________________

Who goes there?

_________________________________
NARRATOR: Phew!
That was a close one.
_________________________________

Trust Toad to start things off
on the wrong foot.

_________________________________
Well, no turning back now.
_________________________________
Nothing for it but to push on.

_________________________________
What new and greater perils

lay ahead no one could say.

_________________________________
For with Toad already getting
out of hand, anything could happen.

_________________________________
(WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(DOOR CREAKS)
_________________________________
(SNORING)
_________________________________
MOLE: Oh, look. They're all asleep.
_________________________________
MacBADGER: Lads, they're drunk.
They're been hitting the bottle.
_________________________________
-But where's Winky?
-RAT: There he is.
_________________________________
MacBADGER: Shh.
He's got the paper on him.
_________________________________

(WHISPERS)
We'll have to climb up on the balcony.
_________________________________
(SNORES)
_________________________________
(GULPS)
_________________________________

The paper. It's gone.

_________________________________
Oi.
_________________________________
Get 'em.
_________________________________

I beg your pardon.
_________________________________
Moley! Moley!
_________________________________

Over here.

_________________________________
WINKY: After it.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Just one more.
_________________________________

There he is. Get him.
_________________________________

Where's Moley?
_________________________________

Well, laddies, we saved our skins.
_________________________________

But we did not get the deed.
_________________________________
TOAD: Ahem!
_________________________________

Well done, Thaddeus.

-ALL: Hip, hip, hooray!

_________________________________
NARRATOR: And so it was
a happy ending after all.
_________________________________

Toad's friends
were dreadfully proud of him.
_________________________________
And why not? He was a new toad now,

completely reformed,

_________________________________
through with gypsy carts

and motor cars forever.

_________________________________
And so, on this happiest of New Years,
a toast was in order.

_________________________________
To the New Year! And to the new Toad.
_________________________________
(CRASHING)
_________________________________
(WHIRRING)

_________________________________
TOAD: Hello, you fellows.
_________________________________

Come, I'll show you the world.
_________________________________

Travel! Change! Excitement!
_________________________________
(TOAD LAUGHS)
_________________________________

And that was
the fabulous Thaddeus Toad.

_________________________________
But let's weigh our judgement carefully,

we moles and rats and badgers.
_________________________________

Really, now, don't we envy him a bit?

_________________________________
(CHUCKLES) I know I do.

_________________________________
So when we speak
of fabulous characters,

_________________________________
the most fabulous of all will always be,
_________________________________
to me at least, the master of Toad Hall.
_________________________________

Mickey and the Beanstalk (Fun and Fancy Free) subtitles

_________________________________
(LAUGHING) Oh, dear.
Nanny goats and petticoats.

_________________________________

-I'm a caution.
-Yes, you certainly are.

_________________________________

Tell me, what is the secret
of your lovely complexion?

_________________________________

-Well, I... I use saddle soap.
-I see.

_________________________________

-Yes.
-Yes.
_________________________________
If I'm not being too personal, Ophelia...

_________________________________

-Yeah ?
-Uh, how old are you?

_________________________________

-Oh, I'm, uh, a girl my age.
-A girl your age?

_________________________________

-Yes.
-And how old is that?

_________________________________

-Uh, twenty-eight.
-Twenty-eight.

_________________________________

I thought you were
a little bit older than that.

_________________________________

Well, I knocked off a few years
for good behavior.

_________________________________

I don't care for that. It's kid stuff.
(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Well, we're awfully glad
you came to our party.
_________________________________
-Well... Oh, yes, indeedy.

-Did you have fun?

_________________________________

I thought Charlie made a pig
of himself with that chocolate cake.

_________________________________
BERGEN: You're quite right.
OPHELIA: Oh, yes, I am. Yes.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Yes, I agree with you.
_________________________________

-Well, good night, Luana.
-Good night, Ophelia.

_________________________________

-Bonne nuit, Mortimer.
-Uh... Ma'am?

_________________________________
(REPEATS IN FRENCH)
_________________________________

Uh, yes, ma'am. Yeah, yeah. Bunny...

_________________________________

Bunny, bunny wee, bunny wee. Bun...

_________________________________

I don't know no bunny wee.
(SNIFFLING, MUTTERING)

_________________________________
-OPHELIA: Good night, Charlie.
-Uh, good night.
_________________________________

-You know, Ophelia, you look so sweet.
-Ah, what'd you say?

_________________________________

-I say, I think you look so sweet.
-Yes?

_________________________________

-I'm going to kiss you good night.
-Oh, help, help, help!

_________________________________

Help.

_________________________________

(GIGGLES) Isn't that a wonderful trick?

_________________________________

Yes, it is. Yes.
I wish I could enjoy my first childhood

_________________________________

as much as he does his second.
(LAUGHS)

_________________________________

Now, Luana, how would you like
another piece of cake
_________________________________
or some ice cream?

_________________________________

-No, thank you. I'm full up.
-Some candy?

_________________________________

-Care for a cigar?
-Me? (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

How about you, Mortimer?

_________________________________

-Mortimer?
-Uh... I don't smoke.

_________________________________

I don't mean that.
Well, what shall we do now?
_________________________________

Any suggestions?
_________________________________
How would you like to go down
to the city dump,

_________________________________

-and watch me slug rats?
-Certainly not.

_________________________________

No?
_________________________________
How would you like
to hear me tell a story?

_________________________________

Oh, I'd love it. Wouldn't you, Charlie?

_________________________________

Well, I... (STAMMERS) Yeah, no.

_________________________________

This is a story that
everyone should know.

_________________________________

Yes, but not everyone should tell it.
And you know who.

_________________________________

Well, I'm going to tell it anyway.
Now, many, many years ago...

_________________________________

I think I'll run out and wind a sundial.

_________________________________

-You'll stay right here.
-Yes, sir.

_________________________________
BERGEN: Once upon a time,
long, long ago...
_________________________________

Funny, nothing ever
happens nowadays.
_________________________________

There was a place called Happy Valley.

_________________________________

Now, it was called Happy Valley

_________________________________

because everyone
who lived there was happy.

_________________________________

No! Well, there's a hunk of logic for you.
_________________________________
Are you listening, Mortimer?

_________________________________

-Uh, Happy Valley?
-That's right, yes.

_________________________________

Now just try and imagine it.
_________________________________
Can't you just close your eyes
and see it?

_________________________________

Well, I can't see very good
with my eyes closed.

_________________________________

My eyelids get in the way.

_________________________________

-You create a picture in your mind's eye.
-Oh.

_________________________________

That's not easy for him.
His mind gets in the way.
_________________________________
(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

-Now try and paint a mental picture.
-Yeah.

_________________________________

I painted a barn once, I did.

_________________________________

-Well, that's very interesting.
-Yeah.

_________________________________

-It was... It was a red barn. It was. Yeah.
-Well, forget the barn.

_________________________________

-Yeah.
-And try and picture Happy Valley.

_________________________________

-Well, I'll... I'll work on it.
-That's the spirit.

_________________________________

Yeah. Yeah. I'll work on it.

_________________________________

Let's see, uh... Let's see, now.

_________________________________

It's, uh... Oh, let's say it's about...

_________________________________

Uh, what was the question ?

_________________________________

-Happy Valley.
-Oh, yeah! Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

_________________________________

-Let's see...
-Think hard!

_________________________________

Yeah. (GRUNTS)

_________________________________

Let's see... (GROANS)

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Oh, I'm tired. All that work for nothin'.

_________________________________
-Can I try?
-BERGEN: Certainly.
_________________________________

Yes. I think I can see it, Mr. Bergen.

_________________________________

It's beautiful.

_________________________________
BERGEN: Yes, it was one of nature's
garden spots
_________________________________

nestled among the green, rolling hills.

_________________________________

Can't you see the lovely brook
as it flows through the valley?

_________________________________
MORTIMER: Mmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
_________________________________
BERGEN: The winding roads,
lined with stately trees.
_________________________________
MORTIMER: Trees. Yeah.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Lush fields and prosperous
farms dot the landscape.
_________________________________
MORTIMER: Landscape. Yeah.
_________________________________
BERGEN: And high on a hilltop
overlooking the valley,
_________________________________
-shining like a jewel, stands...
-MORTIMER: My red barn.
_________________________________
BERGEN: No, no.
It was something much nicer.
_________________________________
-It was a majestic castle!
-LUANA: Oh, that's pretty.
_________________________________
BERGEN: And something very precious
is kept within these castle walls.
_________________________________
LUANA: What is it?
_________________________________
BERGEN: It's a magic,
singing harp. Listen.
_________________________________

(SINGING) What a happy day

_________________________________

What a sunny sky
Kind of makes you sigh in a happy way

_________________________________

What a very merry day
_________________________________

All the world is gay
_________________________________

When your cares are light
and your heart takes flight
_________________________________

And you're swept away

_________________________________

The air is sweet with clover

_________________________________

The clouds are turning over

_________________________________

Oh, yes, they're turning over

_________________________________

Just to show their silver lining

_________________________________

My, what a happy day

_________________________________

Never knew such bliss
Never read of this

_________________________________

In a book or play

_________________________________

What a lovely day

_________________________________

What a great big, gorgeous,
sumptuous, thumping, bumptious

_________________________________

Hum-galumptious
simply scrumptious

_________________________________

My, what a happy day

_________________________________

(BELL CLANKING)

_________________________________

My, what a happy day
_________________________________

Never knew such bliss
Never read of this in a book or play

_________________________________

What a lovely day

_________________________________

What a great big, gorgeous,
sumptuous, thumping, bumptious

_________________________________

Hum-galumptious
simply scrumptious

_________________________________

Oh, my, oh, my

_________________________________

What a happy

_________________________________
-Day
-(ALL LAUGHING)

_________________________________
BERGEN: Yes,
the voice of this golden harp
_________________________________

cast a magic spell of joy
and prosperity over the valley.

_________________________________

But it was too good to last.
_________________________________
CHARLIE: I knew
there was a catch in it.
_________________________________
BERGEN: For one day...
CHARLIE: They built a schoolhouse.
_________________________________
BERGEN: No, no.
_________________________________
One day, a mysterious
shadow crept over the valley.

_________________________________

And then something
dreadful happened!

_________________________________

(THUNDER ROLLING, CRASHING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________
LUANA: What happened?
_________________________________
BERGEN: When the shadow lifted,
the golden harp was gone.
_________________________________

No longer was the valley happy,
for without the magic of the harp,

_________________________________

all was misery, misery, misery.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Just like the eighth grade.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Desolation spread
over the land.
_________________________________

Everything was drying up.

_________________________________
MORTIMER: Dry rot.
CHARLIE: Yes, isn't it?
_________________________________
BERGEN: Charlie.
CHARLIE: Yes, sir.
_________________________________
BERGEN: The fields of golden corn
turned to dust.
_________________________________
CHARLIE: Kerplop.
_________________________________
BERGEN: The laughing brook
flowed no more.
_________________________________

To think that this
was once Happy Valley!

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Now it's Gruesome Gulch.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Days pass, weeks pass.
_________________________________
CHARLIE: I pass. New deal.
_________________________________
LUANA: What happened
to all the people?
_________________________________
BERGEN: Well, suppose we look
in on these humble peasants.
_________________________________
MORTIMER: Is that a peasant?
CHARLIE: That's a cow, stupid.
_________________________________
LUANA: Well, at least they had milk.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Well, she used to be
a good milker. But now...
_________________________________
CHARLIE: She's an udder failure.
_________________________________
BERGEN: She was the bosom friend
of a once-proud family.
_________________________________
CHARLIE: Well, they're certainly
out of the high rent district.
_________________________________

(HINGE SQUEAKING)

_________________________________
BERGEN: And there they are,
_________________________________

three poor farmers,
gripped by the pangs of starvation.

_________________________________

Still alive, still breathing,

_________________________________

sharing a pitiful crust between them.

_________________________________

Share and share alike.

_________________________________

Sharing and staring.
Staring and sharing.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Uh, just tell it. Don't ham it.
_________________________________
BERGEN: But are their spirits broken?
_________________________________

Have they lost hope?

_________________________________

Yes. Men facing famine,
naught left but beans.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Ahem. Bean, you mean.
_________________________________
BERGEN: If it were
one man and three beans...
_________________________________

But, no. One bean and three men.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Well,
at least there are no bones in it.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Just look
at that miserable creature,
_________________________________

doggedly struggling to maintain life,

_________________________________

a gaunt, lean bag
of bones and feathers.

_________________________________

Truly a picture of despair.

_________________________________

But Donald doesn't whimper.

_________________________________

-Donald doesn't give up.
-Shut up!

_________________________________

I can't stand it! (SQUAWKING)

_________________________________
GOOFY: Easy, Donald. Easy!
_________________________________

(ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE)

_________________________________

There. There, now.
There. Easy, Donald.

_________________________________

I'll be all right.

_________________________________

Yeah. I'll be all right. (PANTING)

_________________________________

I'll be all right.

_________________________________
BERGEN: He says
he's all right, but I wonder.
_________________________________

He's suffered too much.

_________________________________

What diabolical thought is being
hatched in the fevered brain

_________________________________

of this poor, demented duck?

_________________________________

Donald! No! No!

_________________________________

Nice bossy, bossy.

_________________________________

(LAUGHS)

_________________________________

-Nice old cowsy wowsy.
-Donald!

_________________________________

-(SQUAWKING)
-(MOOING)

_________________________________
-MICKEY: Donald! No, Donald!
-(MOOING)
_________________________________

(SQUAWKING)
_________________________________
Give it here! Let me...

_________________________________
(MUTTERING, PANTING)
_________________________________

I just gotta eat.

_________________________________

I'm so hungry.

_________________________________
BERGEN: The little fellow was
completely out of his head.
_________________________________

-Cut it out, will ya? I get the idea!
-He was a pitiful sight.

_________________________________

-Weeks without food.
-(GROANS)

_________________________________

-Poor Donald.
-Yeah, poor me!

_________________________________

It was all they could do to restrain him.

_________________________________

You see, he had just about reached
the end of his rope.
_________________________________
-Yeah.

-Oh, it was a sorry predicament indeed.

_________________________________

What to do? What to do?

_________________________________

Well, Donald may be nuts,
but he's got the right idea.

_________________________________

Kill the cow.
_________________________________
Oh, no, Charlie!
The cow was their best friend.

_________________________________

Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

_________________________________

-So what?
-So, they need some steak.

_________________________________

No! If you're gonna kill the cow,

_________________________________

I don't wanna hear the rest of the story.

_________________________________

Well, she wouldn't have to know.

_________________________________

They could sneak up on her
and surprise her.

_________________________________

Yeah, that's what we'll do.
We'll kill the cow.
_________________________________
Oh, no, Charlie. You mustn't.

_________________________________

We'll get a stranglehold on her
while she's asleep,

_________________________________

and then push her off the cliff.
_________________________________
-(CACKLING)
-Oh, no!

_________________________________

I ain't a-gonna listen to the story.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Well, it'll be your fault
if they starve to death.
_________________________________
-LUANA: Why don't they sell the cow?
-That's just what they did.
_________________________________

Well, why didn't you say so
in the first place and save a lot of time?

_________________________________

I could save a lot of time
by not telling the story at all!

_________________________________

Your idea is not without merit.

_________________________________

Well, back to the scene of desolation.

_________________________________

Things are beginning
to look much brighter now,

_________________________________

because as Mickey goes to the village
to sell the cow,
_________________________________
the thought of prosperity brings
new hope to the famished farmers.

_________________________________

Even Donald has fully recovered,
for soon their long-empty plates

_________________________________

will overflow with food.

_________________________________

Hey, look!
_________________________________
(SINGING)
Turkey, lobster, sweet potato pie
_________________________________

Pancakes piled up
'til they reach the sky

_________________________________

Wa-wa, wa-wa, wa-wa, wa-wa
Wa-wa, wa-wa, wa-wa, wa-wa

_________________________________

Ohh

_________________________________

I wanna eat and eat and eat and eat

_________________________________

And eat until I die

_________________________________

BOTH: Turkey, lobster, sweet potato pie

_________________________________

Pancakes piled up
'til they reach the sky

_________________________________

Lots of starches
Lots of greens

_________________________________

Fancy chocolate-covered...

_________________________________

-Beans!
-What do you mean, beans?

_________________________________

Yeah, fellows. I sold the cow
for some magic beans!

_________________________________

Beans!
_________________________________
(SQUAWKING)

_________________________________
MICKEY: But Donald!
_________________________________

These are not ordinary beans!
They're magic beans!

_________________________________

If you plant these beans
in the light of a full moon,
_________________________________
do you know what'll happen?

_________________________________

Yes! We get more beans!
(SQUAWKING)

_________________________________
-No, no, Donald!
-DONALD: Magic beans!
_________________________________
BERGEN: Poor Mickey,
_________________________________

cheated into trading his cow
for a handful of beans.

_________________________________

(CLICKS TONGUE)
_________________________________
What a mean trick!

_________________________________

Swindling an innocent farmer
out of all he owned

_________________________________

and lying to him, telling him
that the beans were magic.

_________________________________

Planted in the light of a full moon!

_________________________________

What a shame to deceive
a simple little peasant.

_________________________________

Magic beans, indeed!

_________________________________
-Light of a full moon.
-CHARLIE: Bergen? Bergen!
_________________________________
BERGEN: What?
LUANA: There's something moving.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Why, yes. Well, maybe
there is some magic in them!
_________________________________

All right, now let's all keep quiet
and see what happens.

_________________________________

(SNORING)

_________________________________

(SNORING)

_________________________________

Mmm.

_________________________________

(GIGGLES)

_________________________________
BERGEN: And all through the night,
it grew onward and upward.
_________________________________
CHARLIE: That thing
is a menace to aviation.
_________________________________
BERGEN: And so,
with the coming of dawn,
_________________________________

we find the bewildered farmers
staring at a mammoth castle

_________________________________

miles above the Earth.
_________________________________

Their curiosity was aroused.
Nothing could hold them back.

_________________________________

Who lives there? Man or monster?

_________________________________

Friend or foe? A princess or a dragon?

_________________________________
MORTIMER: Well, search me.
_________________________________
BERGEN: What drew them
toward this place of mystery?
_________________________________

Hunger? Desperation?

_________________________________

Or perhaps it was love of adventure.

_________________________________

What a fantastic experience,
perhaps mortal man

_________________________________

has never before set foot
on this strange land.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Well, somebody did.
_________________________________
MORTIMER: Oh, gosh!
Who made them?
_________________________________
CHARLIE: Well, it wasn't Cinderella.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Soon they reached
the moat surrounding the castle.
_________________________________

But this didn't stop them. On they went,
as if drawn by some irresistible force.

_________________________________

And then, suddenly, without warning,
out of the sky above...

_________________________________
-(DRAGONFLIES DRONING)
-LUANA: Ooh! Dragonflies!
_________________________________
CHARLIE: Yeah. A-flyin' front
and draggin' behind.
_________________________________

-Gee, what whoppers!
-Yeah. Bombers!

_________________________________

(IMITATING MACHINE GUN)

_________________________________

Come back and fight! (SQUAWKING)

_________________________________

(DRONING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

(ALL SCREAMING)

_________________________________
BERGEN: Finally,
they reached the castle.
_________________________________
CHARLIE: The hard way.
_________________________________
BERGEN: This was
the biggest adventure of their lives.
_________________________________

Forgotten was their hunger,
forgotten was their fear.

_________________________________

It took courage to scale
these massive steps

_________________________________

to make this journey into the unknown.

_________________________________

But these stouthearted lads
never faltered.

_________________________________

Three minds with but a single thought.

_________________________________

What mystery lurked
within those cold, forbidding walls?

_________________________________

What strange spell hovered
over this gloomy place?

_________________________________

Will no one answer?

_________________________________

Are they walking into a trap?
Do they go in?

_________________________________
CHARLIE: You know, you could stand
some rehearsal on this story.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Inside, the tremendous hall
was as silent as a tomb.
_________________________________

Not a sign of life anywhere.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Caught with his pants...
_________________________________
BERGEN: Charlie!
CHARLIE: Caught with his pants...
_________________________________
BERGEN: Charlie!
CHARLIE: Well, his slip was showing.
_________________________________
BERGEN: They gazed
in speechless wonder
_________________________________

almost afraid to breathe.

_________________________________

Suddenly, they looked up.
What was it?

_________________________________
DONALD: Food! Let me at it!
_________________________________

Oh! Who's there? Who is it?

_________________________________
MICKEY: That's the harp!
DONALD: Boy, oh, boy!
_________________________________

How'd you get here?

_________________________________

I was kidnapped by that wicked giant!

_________________________________

-Oh! A giant!
-A giant!

_________________________________

-A giant?
-A giant!

_________________________________

-Bigger than 40 men.
-Oh, no!

_________________________________

An ogre who had the power to turn
himself into anything, man or beast.

_________________________________

That calls for a drink.

_________________________________

(HICCUPS)

_________________________________

It was this heartless monster that
swooped down under cover of darkness

_________________________________

carried off the golden harp
and brought ruin to Happy Valley.
_________________________________
-No!
-SCARY VOICE: Ohh!
_________________________________
(ALL GASPING)

_________________________________

Ohh... (GROWLING)

_________________________________

-(GROWLING) I'm a giant.
-You are not.

_________________________________

-You're nothing of the kind.
-Well, I'm a small giant.

_________________________________

-No, you're not.
-I'm, uh... I'm tougher than 40 men.

_________________________________

-You're not.
-Well, uh, 20 men.

_________________________________

-No.
-No? Ten men?
_________________________________

Aren't you ashamed of yourself,
Charlie? Why do you act like that?

_________________________________

I don't know. I guess
it's just a stage I'm goin' through.

_________________________________

-Well, take off that moustache.
-(YELPS)

_________________________________

Now go over there
and behave yourself.

_________________________________

Yes, sir. Everything I do is wrong.

_________________________________

But why did the giant
want to steal the harp?

_________________________________

Because he was cruel and selfish.
_________________________________
He didn't care
what happened to the valley.

_________________________________

He just wanted someone
to sing him to sleep.

_________________________________

Well, why didn't he turn on the radio?

_________________________________

Well, they didn't have radios
in those days.

_________________________________

Yeah. That's why they called it
Happy Valley. (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

-What did the giant look like?
-Well, he was...

_________________________________

Oh... I'll try and show you.

_________________________________

He looked something like this.

_________________________________

Looks like my pig, Smedley.

_________________________________

Never mind the self-portraits.
(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Well, no, that isn't right.
He looked more like,

_________________________________

more like this.

_________________________________

There he is now. And the giant came
home for dinner, roaring...
_________________________________
Drunk.

_________________________________
-I was not!
-BERGEN: I mean, he was not.
_________________________________

No.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Down the castle hall
he came roaring...
_________________________________

Fe, fi, fo, fum!

_________________________________

Fe, fi, fo, fum!

_________________________________

(SINGING) Fe, fi, fo, fum
_________________________________

He, hi, ho, hum

_________________________________

I'm a most amazing guy
A most amazing guy am I

_________________________________

Fe, fi, fo, fum

_________________________________

He, hi, ho, hum

_________________________________

I'm the stuff, I'm tellin' you
For here's what I can do

_________________________________

I can change myself into an elf

_________________________________

Fly up high like the birdies

_________________________________

I can disappear into atmosphere

_________________________________

Peekaboo
'Cause I know the magic wordies

_________________________________

Fi, fo, fe, foy
Fe, fe, fe, fe

_________________________________

Fifi? I don't know no Fifi.

_________________________________
BERGEN: Those are
his magic words, you know.
_________________________________

Fe, fi, fo, fum.

_________________________________
-I smell...
-CHARLIE: You're telling us!
_________________________________
BERGEN: Now, wait a minute.
He may be smarter than he looks.
_________________________________
LUANA: Oh, I hope
he doesn't find them.
_________________________________
CHARLIE: Hey, Giant,
you're getting warm.
_________________________________
MORTIMER: Well, don't tell him!
_________________________________
CHARLIE: Behind the jar, stupid.
LUANA: Charlie!
_________________________________

(SNIFFING)

_________________________________
GIANT: Pot roast! Chocolate pot roast!
_________________________________

With stispacio... With dismashmee...

_________________________________

With dismash...

_________________________________

With green gravy.

_________________________________

(HUMMING)

_________________________________

Feedy, fidey,

_________________________________

fodey,

_________________________________

fum!

_________________________________

-(HUMMING)
-(GASPING)

_________________________________

(SNEEZES)

_________________________________

Gesundheit.

_________________________________

Oh, no, you don't!
You can't get away from Willie.

_________________________________

I got you!

_________________________________

I think I got you.

_________________________________

Yeah, I got you.

_________________________________

Willie.

_________________________________

What?

_________________________________
CHARLIE: He'll have to talk fast
to get out of this one.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Well, you leave it to Mickey.
Just watch.
_________________________________

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty.
Boy, what a life line!

_________________________________

But what's this here?

_________________________________

What is it? What is it!

_________________________________

Uh-oh! I can't believe it!

_________________________________

-Is it bad?
-Why, it says here,

_________________________________

that you can change
yourself into anything!

_________________________________

Sure, sure! You wanna see me?

_________________________________

I can change myself
into the darndest things! (LAUGHS)
_________________________________
Go on, give me somethin'.

_________________________________

-Anything!
-Anything?

_________________________________

Anything.

_________________________________
BERGEN: See?
Mickey never misses a trick.
_________________________________

-He's got a good idea.
-Well...

_________________________________

Can you change into a fly?

_________________________________

A cute, teeny-weeny,
itsy-bitsy housefly?

_________________________________

That's it. A housefly.

_________________________________

Aw, you don't want a fly.

_________________________________

How about a bunny
with long, pink ears?

_________________________________

Ha. Well, of course,
if you can't do a fly, why, uh...

_________________________________

All right. A fly.

_________________________________

-(SHOUTS) Why?
-Well, they're...

_________________________________

-Because.
-Okay.

_________________________________

A teeny-weeny fly. (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

With pink wings.

_________________________________

-Now for the magic wordies.
-(WHISTLES)

_________________________________

(SINGING) Fe, fi, fo, fum
He, hi, ho, hum

_________________________________

I'm a most amazing guy
Te, ti, te, ti, te, ti

_________________________________

You sure you don't want a pink bunny?

_________________________________

Hey, what is this?

_________________________________

You think you fool Willie.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Yeah, a couple more good
ideas like that, and they're finished.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Well, I'll admit
the little fellows are in a bad fix.
_________________________________

But Mickey isn't one
to give up without a struggle.

_________________________________

And with a little luck,
they may still pull through.

_________________________________

This isn't the first time
Mickey's been in a tight spot.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Anybody wanna buy
a tall, thin mouse?
_________________________________
BERGEN: No, thank you. I mean no.
_________________________________

Yes, things look pretty dark
for the prisoners.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: Looks like
their goose is cooked.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Oh, fate may yet deal them
a winning hand.
_________________________________

Don't forget,
there's still the magic harp.
_________________________________
She knows the giant's weakness.

_________________________________
-CHARLIE: She could be my weakness.
-(HARP STRUMMING)
_________________________________
BERGEN: There might still be a chance
of escape
_________________________________

if she could only use her magic voice
to put the giant to sleep.

_________________________________
CHARLIE: If she can't, I know who can.
_________________________________
BERGEN: Shh.
Let's all be quiet now and see.
_________________________________

(SINGING) In my favorite dream

_________________________________

Everyone is so delightful

_________________________________

No one's mean or spiteful

_________________________________

In my favorite dream

_________________________________

Yes, and in my favorite dream

_________________________________

There my heart can go romancing

_________________________________

Dancing to a heavenly theme

_________________________________

But there's something else
I look forward to

_________________________________

It's a secret

_________________________________

But here's a clue

_________________________________

He's my favorite

_________________________________

You know who

_________________________________

You're the hero of

_________________________________

-My most favorite
-(SNORING)

_________________________________

Dream

_________________________________

Oh, mercy. Forgiveness.

_________________________________

(YAWNING)

_________________________________

(HARP HUMMING)

_________________________________

(SNORING)

_________________________________

In his right vest pocket
_________________________________

You'll find the key

_________________________________

The right vest pocket
Go carefully

_________________________________

(HARP HUMMING)

_________________________________

Oh!

_________________________________

(HARP HUMMING)
_________________________________
Ah... Ah... Ah...

_________________________________

(SNEEZING)

_________________________________

I'll smash... Ah... I'll smash...

Ah... Ah... Ah...

_________________________________

(SNORTS)

_________________________________

(MUTTERING) Where is he ?

_________________________________

Hello?

_________________________________

Nightmare. (YAWNS)

_________________________________

Oh, boy.

_________________________________

(SNORING)

_________________________________

-He made it!
-He did?

_________________________________

-Here he comes with the key!
-Let me have it, Mickey!

_________________________________

(SNORING CONTINUES)

_________________________________
BERGEN: Well,
it looks like success at last.
_________________________________

Free from the clutches
of that terrible monster.

_________________________________

And now to find the beanstalk, climb
down and return home in triumph

_________________________________

with a big surprise for Happy Valley.

_________________________________

But wait. Mickey's
going to make doubly sure.

_________________________________

He's taking no chances.

_________________________________

Just in case the giant might wake up.

_________________________________
LUANA: Oh!
_________________________________
CHARLIE: Ha.
Should have left well enough alone.
_________________________________

Come back here! Come back here!

_________________________________

(WHISTLES)

_________________________________

(SQUAWKING)

_________________________________
BERGEN: And there goes the giant!
_________________________________

(YELPING)

_________________________________

He's helpless now,
tumbling over and over and over,

_________________________________

down, down, down, down.

_________________________________

(CRASH)

_________________________________

And so with the passing
of the wicked giant,

_________________________________

Happy Valley echoed once again
with song and laughter.

_________________________________

For with the return of the magic harp,

_________________________________

peace and prosperity
reigned throughout the land.

_________________________________

-And the people of the valley...
-We know.

_________________________________

-Lived happily ever after.

-Lived happily ever after.
_________________________________

You're a wonderful storyteller,
Mr. Bergen. Isn't he, Charlie?

_________________________________

Simply thrilling.

_________________________________

You're even better than
the old-fashioned sleeping pill.

_________________________________

(MORTIMER SOBBING)
_________________________________
BERGEN: What's the matter, Mortimer?
_________________________________

Oh, the poor giant got killed, that he did.
_________________________________
(SOBBING)

_________________________________

-I don't like them sad endings.
-Oh, now, you don't understand.

_________________________________

Willie was a nice giant, he was.

_________________________________

He just got too big for his britches.

_________________________________

-But you don't understand.
-No, don't touch me. (SOBBING)
_________________________________
I'll be all right.

_________________________________

(BLOWS NOSE)
_________________________________
Oh, excuse me.

_________________________________

What I'm trying to explain, Mortimer,
_________________________________
is that Willie the Giant
didn't actually exist.

_________________________________

-No?
-No. He's a metaphysical phenomenon

_________________________________

of your subconscious mind,
_________________________________
a phantasmagoria
of your mental faculties.

_________________________________

Yeah?
_________________________________
In other words,
just a figment of your imagination.

_________________________________

-No!
-Yes.

_________________________________

So there's nothing to be upset about.
_________________________________
-(CREAKING)
-MORTIMER: Oh!
_________________________________

Hey! Has anybody seen anything

_________________________________

of a teensy-weensy little mouse?

_________________________________

No. (STAMMERING) I...

_________________________________

(THUD)
_________________________________
LUANA: Oh, Mr. Bergen!
_________________________________

Bergen, speak to me. Speak to me.

_________________________________

What's the matter with him?
Somethin' he ate?

_________________________________

Uh, no. It's a fig,
_________________________________

figmentation of his imagination.

_________________________________
-No!
-MORTIMER: Yeah.

_________________________________

Well, good night, Willie.

_________________________________

Don't slam the roof.

_________________________________

You might wake Mr. Bergen.

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________