(Walt Disney Animation Studios logo: The shorter version. The variant has the last few seconds of Mickey whistling with the music)
(TITLE CARD: GIVE A DAY. GET A DISNEY DAY. TOONS)
(TITLE CARD: A CHRISTMAS CAPER)
(INT. DISNEYLAND HOTEL – NIGHT. The screen says
"Christmas Eve 1800 Hours")
(A periscope pops out of a hotel hall ceiling. It shows
Peter Pan and Wendy Darling sewing a stocking. Next it shows Mickey and the
Disney Patrol turning on Christmas lights on Goofy. However next, it shows
Melinda, Lily, Miss Piggy, and Camilla sitting down on the bench, sad. After
that, it shows Alice, the White Rabbit, Captain Hook, and Mr. Smee partying,
and then returns to Melinda, Lily, Miss Piggy, and Camilla who sighs sadly)
(INT. PENTHOUSE, DISNEYLAND HOTEL – NIGHT. Gonzo is
operating the periscope, Kermit is at the center, Lew Zealand is beating down
fish, and Fozzie and the other Muppets are standing in front of a tree)
Gonzo: They looked so sad.
Kermit: Fozzie! I want that tree up to muster.
(Fozzie and the Muppets decorated a Christmas tree quickly)
Kermit: Check. Scooter! What's the status of the improved
musical selection?
Scooter: Scheduled to begin... now.
(The radio is turned on and music plays)
Kermit: Exellente! Right on track.
Gonzo: Kermit!
Kermit: Making pudding at 1900 hours, yule log to commence
on my mark. Engage!
(Lew Zealand lights a match on a log and it began burning)
Lew Zealand: Yule log engage.
Kermit: Checkamundo!
Gonzo: Kermit!
Kermit: Eggnog at 2100 hours, writing our names in the snow
at 2105.
Gonzo: Kermit!
Kermit: What is it, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Your wife Melinda and the girls are all alone on this
holiday and they seem so sad. Could we bring them presents to cheer him up?
Kermit: Scooter.
Scooter: (making calculations on his abacus) Negative,
chief. (Shows lots of boxes wrapped up) We have presents and there are lots of
us.
Gonzo: We can go and get them something.
Kermit: Sorry, Gonzo, no can do.
Gonzo: But no one should be sad and alone on Christmas.
Kermit: Excatly. So throw those troubles away and be merry,
pronto.
Gonzo: But, Kermit–
Kermit: That's an order, mister. All right troops, stand by
for eggnog.
Rowlf: (pounding the fish with a mallet) Aye aye, Kermit.
Crazy Harry: EGGNOOOOG!! EGGNOG, EGGNOG, EGGNOG, EGGNOG...
Kermit: Gonzo?
Gonzo: I'll pass, thank you.
(Gonzo sadly walks off, then gets an idea. He gets some
money out of his Pluto piggy bank and sneaks to the door while Kermit and the
Muppets see how much eggnog Crazy Harry can chug at once)
Kermit & The Muppets: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,
chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
Kermit: Hold on, Harry! That guy can really hold his nog.
(Gonzo opens the door and sneaks out)
Kermit: Twenty-one and ten hours everyone! Engage
cranberries!
Kermit: (to Crazy Harry playing the "Knife game"
at the dinner table) Harry! Not at the table.
Kermit: Hold on a second! Something's missing!
Scooter: Cranberries: check! Eggnog: check!
Kermit: Give me a headcount.
Scooter: (Grabs abacus) We have three heads, frog!
Kermit: Where's the Gonzo?
Rowlf: Unknown sir! It would appear that he's
(Grabs milk carton)
Rowlf: missing!
(Shows milk carton with a big missing advert for Gonzo)
Skipper: Missing? Hoover Dam! Wait, there he is. He just
went to bed. (Pulls off sheets, revealing a bowling pin underneath) What the...
(Slapping the pin) What have you do with Gonzo? Talk, Mister!
Fozzie: Kermit, over here.
Kermit: (to pin) I'll deal with you later.
Fozzie: Oh, no. He must be out there all by himself.
Kermit: He's one of us, men. You all know the Muppet Credo.
Rowlf: Never bathe in hot oil and Bisquick?
Kermit: No.
(Crazy Harry speaks Japanese gibberish)
Kermit: No, that's the Walrus Credo. It's "Never swim
alone." Gonzo's out there all by himself, and we never leave one of our
own.
The Muppets: Oh!
Scooter: Oh, yeah.
Kermit: Now, let's go.
Gonzo: Oh! That's perfect! Just things for the sad girls!
Kermit: Scooter, analysis!
Scooter: (Eats some snow) Adrenaline, sweat and sardines.
These tracks are fresh chief!
Kermit: He's close…I can feel it.
Scooter: Uh oh! We may have a problem! (Upon seeing Miss
Yeast)
Kermit: Well we need to get closer. Ten o' clock, men!
(Following a group of nuns) Blend! Blend! Blend!
Kermit: He's in trouble.
Crazy Harry: (Starts to light a stick of dynamite) Kaboom!
Kermit: Stand down, soldier. We're in observation mode.
Miss Yeast: (Thinks that Gonzo is a toy) Now this is
woikmanship. So where's the gosh darn squeaker on this thing? It's gotta have a
squeaker.
(Gonzo squeaks)
Miss Yeast (CONT.): Now that's more like it.
Kermit: (to the Muppets) Grand Coolee Dam! Gonzo's been
captured.
Kermit: (following Miss Yeast) Not on my watch, Blue Hair!
Miss Yeast: (to the bus driver) I got a tip for you! Drop
dead!
Lew Zealand: Mr. The Frog, how are we going to get inside?
Crazy Harry: (Lights a fuse) Ka-boom! Ka-boom!
Kermit: I have a better idea.
(Puts out the fuse)
Crazy Harry: Oh.
Kermit: Hold that elevator!
Gonzo: Kermit! (Seeing him and the Muppets)
Kermit: What be delivered must go down!
Fozzie: Kermit! (Found a way to the bottom floor)
Kermit: All right troops, Commence Operation: Special
Delivery!
Kermit: Shitake mushrooms! No more Mr. Showtime.
Crazy Harry: (Grabs stang of dynamite) Kaboom-kaboom-kaboom!
Kermit: Harry! Enough with the dynamite already!
Crazy Harry: (Sighs disappointed) Aww.
Miss Yeast: (to Snowflake) Why does Christmas have to be
every year! What a pain the ugh! The tape! It's so sticky!
(Miss Yeast's reindeer, Snowflake, starts activating the
conveyor belt with Gonzo's Christmas sock, while Gonzo's in it)
Gonzo: Nice reindeer! Good reindeer! No, good boy! No! No!
Don't activate! No!
(Snowflake pulls the lever on "FAST" and Gonzo
starts to panic)
Gonzo: Stop! Don't activate! AAAH!
(Kermit and the Muppets break in through a window, landing
safely on a conveyor belt)
Kermit: Santa Claus has come to town!
Gonzo: Ooh, Kermit.
Gonzo: Help me guys! (When stuck on top of the giant
Christmas tree)
Scooter: I'm on it (to get Gonzo out of the giant tree)
Kermit: Quadruped, moose, twelve o' clock!
Scooter: I'm gonna need some cover fire!
Kermit: Rowlf!
Kermit: Scooter, status!
Scooter: Almost there, Kermit!
Kermit: Let him have it, Lew!
TV Announcer: (Gonzo flies across the room) Ryan takes the
snap! (Gonzo flies into a cart covered in wrappers) What a hit! Ryan is down!
Kermit: (to the Muppets) Holy butterball!
Gonzo: Don't eat me! (Stuck in the wrapper and running)
Kermit: Scooter, any options?
Scooter: Chief! (Planning to stop Snowflake)
Kermit: Exellent! Engage Operation: Stocking Stuffer!
Kermit: High five, low five! Down low, too slow! I think our
work here is done.
Kermit: (as Fozzie hold an anvil above Miss Yeast's head)
Fozzie! She didn't see anything!
Kermit: Let's blow this popsicle stand, troops!
Crazy Harry: (Grabs stick of dynamite) Kaaboooom?
Kermit: Yes, Harry. Kaaboom.
Gonzo: Thanks for rescuing me, Kermit.
Kermit: Think nothing of it, Gonzo. It's the least we could
do. You remember the Muppet Credo.
Gonzo: What does deep-frying in Bisquick have to do with any
of this?
Kermit: Not that one, the other one! "Never swim
alone!" Alone! On Christmas! Don't you get it? Come on people, do I have
to explain this to everybody?
Gonzo: Poor Melinda! She's alone on Christmas with no one to
swim with?
Kermit: It's not too late, Gonzo. I've got a new plan to fit
him in.
(Doorbell rings)
Kermit: Who could that be?
Kermit: WHAT?!
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