Disney PhilharMagic Fantasia of Spring & Autumn (2019) subtitles (Autumn 2019 Part 1)

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(WHISTLING)
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(HUMMING)
_________________________________

-Walter, hey.

-Oh, Gary.
_________________________________

Oh, where have you been?
_________________________________
Look, I need you to help me
figure out a talent.

_________________________________

A talent for what?
_________________________________

For the show. Kermit asked me

to do an act in the show.
_________________________________

I... I could be a Muppet.
_________________________________

Wow. Wow, Walter, that's amazing.
_________________________________

Yeah, but, uh, I need to

figure out if I have a talent.
_________________________________

Well, um, you know what?
I'm sure you'll think of something,
_________________________________

but right now I actually...

I need your help. Um...
_________________________________

I'm starting to get the feeling that

Mary's upset with me about something,
_________________________________
and I don't know what, and I was hoping
maybe you would talk to her for me.
_________________________________

Gary, I'd love to help you out,
_________________________________

but I can't leave the theater now.

This is important.
_________________________________

Well, hold on a second.
I mean, my life is important, too.
_________________________________

Yeah, but the whole reason we came
here was to see the Muppets.
_________________________________

No, it wasn't!
The whole reason we came here
_________________________________

was to take a vacation where

I took Mary out to a fancy dinner
_________________________________

because it's our tenth

anniversary, and then...
_________________________________

-Walter, what day is today?

-Uh, Friday.
_________________________________

Yeah. Yeah, that's it.
_________________________________

This is bad.
Walter, this is really bad. I have to...
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-Mary? Mary!

-Wait.
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Gary, I need you.
_________________________________

Okay, is everybody ready?
_________________________________

Commence Operation

Celebri-nap. Masks on!
_________________________________

-ALL: Masks on!

-Except for moi.
_________________________________

Nothing covers this beautiful face.
_________________________________

-(GASPS) No maskin'?

-No maskin'.
_________________________________

MAN: Check the door on Stage 28.
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MAN 2: I'm going over there now.
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Ah! I told you, I'm not done
putting on my balls!
_________________________________

(ANIMAL PANTING)
_________________________________

Oh, hey, Animal.
_________________________________

What are you doin' here?
_________________________________

Acting. Natural.
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MISS PIGGY: Now!

_________________________________
Whoa!

_________________________________

-Hi-yah!

-Ah!
_________________________________
-Whoop!
-Whoa!

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(GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

Hoo!
_________________________________

Hi-yah!
_________________________________

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(BOAT HULL CREAKING)
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(SCRAPING)
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Look!
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The crown!
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(GROGGILY) Rapunzel.
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-Rapunzel!

-(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
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-FLYNN: No! Wait, guys!

-(NICKERS QUESTIONINGLY)
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FLYNN: Rapunzel!
_________________________________

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Mary, surprise! I figured out

why you're mad... At me.
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MARY: Gary, I've gone home.

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I love you, but you need

to decide, are you a man
_________________________________

or a Muppet?
_________________________________

(SINGING) I reflect on my reflection
_________________________________

And I ask myself the question
_________________________________

What's the right direction to go?
_________________________________

I don't know
_________________________________

Am I a man
_________________________________

-Or am I a Muppet?

-Am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

If I'm a Muppet
Then I'm a very manly Muppet
_________________________________

-Very manly Muppet

-Am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

-Muppet

-Or am I a man?
_________________________________

Am I a man?
_________________________________

If I'm a man that makes
me a Muppet of a man
_________________________________
A Muppet of a man

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I look into these eyes
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And I don't recognize
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The one I see inside
_________________________________

It's time for me to decide
_________________________________

Am I a man
_________________________________

Or am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

Am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

If I'm a Muppet
Well, I'm a very manly Muppet
_________________________________

-Very manly Muppet

-Am I a Muppet?
_________________________________

-Muppet

-Or am I a man?
_________________________________

Am I a man?
_________________________________

If I'm a man that makes
me a Muppet of a man
_________________________________

A Muppet of a man
_________________________________

Here I go again
_________________________________

I'm always running out of time
_________________________________

I think I made up my mind
_________________________________

Now I understand who I am
_________________________________

I'm a man
_________________________________

I'm a Muppet
_________________________________

-I'm a Muppet of a man

-I'm a very manly Muppet
_________________________________

I'm a Muppet-y man
_________________________________

I'm so sorry.
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-Oh, Gary.

-Mary.
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That's what I am
_________________________________

_________________________________

Papa?

_________________________________

Papa?

_________________________________

(GASPS)

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Ooh, ooh!

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(CHUCKLES) They're back.
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MS. FIELDMOUSE:
Feeling better, my dear?
_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
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Ohh!

_________________________________

-Where... Where am I?

-In my kitchen.
_________________________________

I'm Ms. Fieldmouse,

and we are snug and safe underground.
_________________________________

I'm... I'm underground?
_________________________________

Yes, dearie. Three feet under.
_________________________________

I dug it myself with my own two hands.

_________________________________

Here. Drink this.
_________________________________

At least that toad
won't find me down here.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) You know,
there's something I don't understand.
_________________________________

Did you really think you could

survive the winter in that old shoe?
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Honestly!
_________________________________

-I wanna go home.

-Well,
_________________________________
I'm afraid you'll just have to wait here
till spring, Thumbelina.

_________________________________

You know my name.
_________________________________
Oh, that was easy. I know much more,

_________________________________
like you were engaged
to the fairy prince.

_________________________________
Um, Cornelius, I believe?
_________________________________

Well, almost.
_________________________________

-Oh, that is so sad.

-What?
_________________________________

That he was found stone-cold-frozen
dead in the snow.

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-THUMBELINA: (GASPS) No.
-But, of course, you knew that?
_________________________________

No. No.
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Cornelius. No!
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MS. FIELDMOUSE: That is so sad.

THUMBELINA: No, it's not true.
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No!
_________________________________

(THUMBELINA
CONTINUES SOBBING)
_________________________________
Hmm.
_________________________________

MS. FIELDMOUSE:
Oh, Thumbelina, forgive me.

_________________________________
Sometimes I just blurt things out
without thinking.

_________________________________

You're still young though.

There'll be another.
_________________________________

He was perfect.
_________________________________

Nobody's perfect.
_________________________________

-Cornelius was the only one...

-Now, put this on.
_________________________________
We'll take these corn cakes to Mr. Mole.

_________________________________

-He lives just down the tunnel.

-I'd rather not.
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Oh. I saved your life this very day,

and you'd rather not?
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Very well.
_________________________________

Oh, one more thing.
_________________________________

Is it true that you have
a beautiful voice?
_________________________________
Hmm?
_________________________________

I don't feel much like singing.
_________________________________

Oh, you must sing for Mr. Mole.
_________________________________

He loves sweet things.
_________________________________
Come on.
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Mr. Mole loves his corn cakes.
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Cornelius was looking for me.
_________________________________
(SNIFFLES)
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That's what must have happened.

_________________________________
(SNIFFLES)
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(DOOR SQUEAKS)
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(HUMMING)
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-Good afternoon, Mr. Mole.

-Oh, yes.
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(SNIFFING)
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Ms. Fieldmouse.
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Oh, good afternoon. Lovely day.
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I want you to meet
a new friend of mine, Thumbelina.

_________________________________

She just came down from... Up there.
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Up there? Up there.
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Terrible place. (SNIFFING)

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Mmm.
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How do you do, Miss Thumbelina?

Pleased to make your acquaintance.
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Uh, how do you do, Mr. Mole?
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Come in, come in.
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Don't touch anything.
These are my things.

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We brought some corn cakes for you.
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Just you try one, Mr. Mole.
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Ooh. Mmm. (SLURPING)
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Mmm. (LIPS SMACK)
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Very nice.
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Well, tell us about... Up there.
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I went up once. Nearly blinded me.
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Hurried as fast as I could back down
where it's dark and decent.

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Oh, but... Well....
-Hmm?
_________________________________

I love the light.
_________________________________
I hate it. End of story.
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Story? Thumbelina,
tell Mr. Mole a story...
_________________________________

a lovely, sad story.
_________________________________

Well, uh...
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MR. MOLE: Stand right there
where I can see you.
_________________________________

Okay, um...
_________________________________

Oh, I love love stories, don't you?
_________________________________

Once upon a time,
there was, um, the sun.
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Sing it, Thumbelina. Sing.
_________________________________

-She sings?

-Shh!
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Oh. Um...
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(SINGING) Once there was the sun
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-Bright and warm and wonderful

-Ah!
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Shining like the love within my heart
_________________________________

Now there's no more sun
_________________________________

Winter has killed everything
_________________________________

And although it's dark December
_________________________________

Forever
_________________________________

I'll remember sun

_________________________________
Winter has killed everything,
_________________________________
even the sun.
_________________________________

MS. FIELDMOUSE: Wonderful story.
_________________________________
Dreadful thing, the sun.

_________________________________

And now I have a story to tell you.
_________________________________

Just this morning, as I was out
for my early morning stroll,

_________________________________
I stumbled across the most
extraordinary thing in my tunnel...

_________________________________

a dead bird.
_________________________________

-MS. FIELDMOUSE: No!

-Yes.
_________________________________
How do you suppose

a dead bird got into my tunnel?
_________________________________

Oh, well, I'm certainly glad
I'm not a bird,

_________________________________
bothering the world with endless

twittering, twittering, twittering.
_________________________________

My, yes.
_________________________________
Oh. There it is.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Oh!
_________________________________

Whatever do you suppose
happened to him?
_________________________________

Well, there's one less bird

to twitter, twitter, twitter up there.
_________________________________

Oh, Jacquimo.
_________________________________
Jacquimo, my dear, dear friend.

_________________________________

-MS. FIELDMOUSE: Tender little thing.

-Yes.
_________________________________
Quite lovely. (CLEARS THROAT)

_________________________________

Ms. Fieldmouse,
could I have a word with you?
_________________________________

I wish you would.
_________________________________
Ms. Fieldmouse,
_________________________________

you know I have been meaning

to take a wife for some time now.
_________________________________

What a lovely idea.
_________________________________

I find myself sometimes,
_________________________________
um, you know, uh,

lonely for companionship.
_________________________________

What could be more natural?
_________________________________

-And I wonder if...

-Yes?
_________________________________

If I could ask you to help me

persuade Miss Thumbelina...
_________________________________

(STUTTERS) to be my wife?
_________________________________

Thumbelina?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
She could keep me company...
_________________________________

and tell me stories, don't you think?
_________________________________

Yes.
_________________________________

And for your service in helping

to arrange this match,
_________________________________

I will reward you handsomely.
(BLOWS)
_________________________________

Oh, I will. I will.
_________________________________

Dear Ms. Fieldmouse.
_________________________________

Leave the arrangements to me.
_________________________________

Thumbelina.
_________________________________

I... I hear your heart.
_________________________________
You're not dead, no.
_________________________________

Jacquimo.
_________________________________
Jacquimo.
_________________________________

I'll come back... Tonight.
_________________________________

MS. FIELDMOUSE: Thumbelina?

_________________________________

-(CHATTERING)
-One ice-cold prince coming up.
_________________________________
-Where do you want him?

-There.
_________________________________
He looks dead.
_________________________________

Dead? Dead, schmead!

What difference does it make?
_________________________________

-You killed him.

-Okay, okay, okay. Have it your way.
_________________________________

I killed him. There. You satisfied? Huh?
_________________________________

Huh? Forget the prince, all right?
_________________________________

Now, uh, what if I were to tell you...
_________________________________

I know where Thumbelina is
right now, huh?
_________________________________

What if I was to tell you that?

Would you give me my wings?
_________________________________

I'm glad you kill prince. It's a deal.
_________________________________

Good.
_________________________________
My sources tell me...
_________________________________

she's buried alive with the mole.
_________________________________

Mole?
_________________________________
What mole?
_________________________________

If I were you, I'd get my tail

over there and save her.
_________________________________

Go. Get hopping. Oh, and give me my
wings, would you, please? My wings.

_________________________________
Aah! Where does mole live?
_________________________________

I go kick down his door.
_________________________________

Oh! Ooh, ooh! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Let go of my arm!
_________________________________

What's going on? Where are we going?
_________________________________

We go rescue Thumbelina
from the mole.
_________________________________

Mole? Are you out of your mind?

I'm not going down there.

_________________________________
You know what that guy
does to beetles?
_________________________________

Do you have any idea what he does?

He stuffs 'em.
_________________________________
He stuffs 'em and he pins
'em on his walls.

_________________________________

Quiet!
_________________________________

Look, why don't you just go home and
marry a toad? You ever think about that?

_________________________________

You find yourself a pretty toad
with warts and you marry her.

_________________________________

Quiet!
_________________________________

Toads, toads.
I gotta be stuck with toads.

_________________________________
They've got the fairy prince.
We've got to help him.
_________________________________

Come on, guys. Let's build a fire.
_________________________________

_________________________________
That same Christmas Eve,

along the riverbank,
_________________________________

the name of Toad
was banned from conversation,

_________________________________
lest the memory of his disgrace

becloud the merriment of the season.

_________________________________
And yet there was one home at least
in which two loyal hearts
_________________________________

still held the warmth

of Christian charity.

_________________________________
Bless this good food

we are about to enjoy.
_________________________________

Bless us, every one.
_________________________________

And bless poor Toad.
_________________________________

And may he get time off

for good behavior.
_________________________________
(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

Why, it's a poor old lady.
_________________________________

Let's take her over by the fire.
_________________________________
Ow!
_________________________________
Toad!
_________________________________

What are you doing here?
_________________________________

-I was just...

-Well, this is a merry Christmas.
_________________________________

-But aren't you afraid of the police?

-Afraid of the police?
_________________________________
(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

I, Toad, afraid of the police?

_________________________________
-MALE: Open up! Open up, I say!
-The police!
_________________________________

Hide me.
_________________________________

Sorry, but you owe a debt to society

and you've got to pay.
_________________________________

Let them in.
_________________________________

-(KNOCKING)
-But, Ratty...
_________________________________

-Don't you think, maybe....
-Open the door.

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RAT: MacBadger.
_________________________________

(PANTS) Aye, lads.
_________________________________

I've just made
a very important discovery.

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Toad Hall is ablaze with lights.

_________________________________
And in possession of

a pack of weasels.

_________________________________
And the leader of the gang

is none other than Mr...

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WEASELS: Winky!
_________________________________
WEASEL: Hip, hip...
_________________________________

Hooray!
_________________________________

And so, you see, he did trade
Toad Hall for the motor car.
_________________________________

Then Toad was innocent all the time.
_________________________________

Aye, lads, and if he were only here,
right now...
_________________________________

-Toad!

-Angus.
_________________________________

Sorry, Toad, I misjudged you.
_________________________________

I hope someday
you'll find it in your heart...
_________________________________

Tut-tut, not another word.
_________________________________

To err is human, to forgive...
_________________________________

Thaddeus, not so fast.
_________________________________

You're still guilty in the eyes of the law.
_________________________________

To prove your innocence, we've got

to get that paper away from Winky.
_________________________________

Now, I have a plan.
_________________________________

We'll sneak in
through the secret tunnel.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Ariel!

_________________________________

Ariel, wake up! Wake up.

I just heard the news. Congratulations.

_________________________________

Kiddo, we did it!

_________________________________
(YAWNS)
_________________________________

What is this idiot babbling about?

_________________________________

Right, as if you two didn't know, huh?

_________________________________

The whole town's buzzin'
_________________________________
about the prince gettin' himself
hitched this afternoon!

_________________________________

You know, he's getting married.

_________________________________

You silly side-walker.

I just wanted to wish ya luck.

_________________________________

I'll catch ya later. I wouldn't miss it!

_________________________________
GRIMSBY: Well, now, Eric.

_________________________________

It appears that I was mistaken.

_________________________________

This mystery maiden of yours

does, in fact, exist.

_________________________________
GRIMSBY: And she is lovely.

_________________________________

 Congratulations, my dear.

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ERIC: We wish to be married

as soon as possible.

_________________________________
GRIMSBY: Oh, yes, of course, Eric,

_________________________________

but, uh, these things
do take time, you know.

_________________________________

This afternoon, Grimsby.

The wedding ship departs at sunset.

_________________________________
GRIMSBY: Oh. Oh. Very well,

Eric, uh, as you wish.

_________________________________

(SNICKERS)

_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYS)

_________________________________

(SOBBING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

MS. FIELDMOUSE: All the same,

we'll make it a thrilling wedding.
_________________________________

Why, it's a wonderful match.
_________________________________
Mr. Mole is the richest rodent
for miles around.

_________________________________

Educated, well-dressed,
_________________________________
highly thought of.
_________________________________

Never mind that he can't see.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) That's all the better.
_________________________________

How can I possibly marry Mr. Mole?

I don't love him.
_________________________________

Love?
_________________________________
Love is what we read about

in books, my dear.
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

(SINGING) "Here Comes the Bride"
_________________________________

Is a lovely little ditty
_________________________________

But marrying for love

is a foolish thing to do
_________________________________

'Cause love won't pay the mortgage
_________________________________

Or put porridge in your bowl
_________________________________

Dearie
_________________________________
Marry the mole
_________________________________

True, it's a fact that he's not exactly witty
_________________________________

He's blinder than a bat
_________________________________

But at least his eyes are blue
_________________________________

His breath may be alarming
_________________________________

But he's charming for a troll
_________________________________

Dearie
_________________________________
Marry the mole
_________________________________

Romeo and Juliet
_________________________________

Were very much in love

when they were wed
_________________________________

They honored every vow
_________________________________

So where are they now?
_________________________________

They're dead, dead
_________________________________

Very, very dead
_________________________________

Poor Thumbelina,

your brain's so itty-bitty
_________________________________

I hate to seem a pest,

but I know what's best for you
_________________________________

Just think of all the ways

that you can decorate a hole
_________________________________

Take my advice
_________________________________

I'll bring the rice
_________________________________

Dearie
_________________________________
Marry the mole
_________________________________

Marry the mole
_________________________________

Marry that mole
_________________________________

"M" is for money

_________________________________

-Oh!

-L-E
_________________________________
(WIND HOWLING)
_________________________________

Please be warm, dear friend.
_________________________________
Please live.
_________________________________

Poor little swallow.
_________________________________
I'm sorry for all
the trouble I've caused you.

_________________________________

I know now...
_________________________________

there's no place in this big world

for little people.
_________________________________

We...

_________________________________
We cannot do impossible things.
_________________________________

Perhaps I should marry the mole.
_________________________________

He could take care of me. He could.
_________________________________
Hmm.
_________________________________
Hmm.
_________________________________

I will.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) I will marry the mole.
_________________________________
(GROANING)
_________________________________

You are joking.
_________________________________

Jacquimo?
_________________________________

Marry the prince.
_________________________________

Jacquimo, you're awake.
_________________________________

Oh! Oh, Jacquimo.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
_________________________________

I have a thorn in my wing.
_________________________________

A thorn?
_________________________________
Well, let me see.
_________________________________

-Oh, my goodness.
-(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Well, hold still.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS) Ah!
_________________________________
There. (KISSES)

_________________________________

Oh, now it will get better.
_________________________________

-Don't get up.

-No, no.
_________________________________
I go to find the Vale of the Fairies
and the prince.

_________________________________

(LAUGHS) You silly bird.
_________________________________
Don't you understand?
_________________________________

Get on my back. Get on my back.
_________________________________

I will take you to the Green Forest.
_________________________________

Be realistic.
_________________________________
Cornelius is gone. I...
_________________________________

-I will find him.

-Jacquimo, don't.
_________________________________
-Remember...
-Jacquimo...
_________________________________

(SINGING) You're sure to do
impossible things

_________________________________

-Stop! Stop it, Jacquimo!
-If you follow your heart

_________________________________
Bon voyage, mon amie!

_________________________________

-Bon voyage!

-Jacquimo!
_________________________________
No.
_________________________________
Jacquimo.
_________________________________

Oh, Jacquimo,
_________________________________
stop torturing me.
_________________________________

Cornelius is dead.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(CHESHIRE CAT HUMS)
_________________________________

And the mome raths outgrabe
_________________________________

Oh, Cheshire Cat, it's you.
_________________________________

Whom did you expect?
The White Rabbit, perchance?
_________________________________

No, no, no. I'm through with rabbits.

_________________________________

I wanna go home.
But I can't find my way.

_________________________________

Naturally.
That's because you have no way.

_________________________________

All ways here, you see,
are the queen's ways.
_________________________________

-But I've never met any queen.
-You haven't? You haven't?
_________________________________

Oh, but you must.
_________________________________

She'll be mad about you,
simply mad. (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

And the mome raths outgrabe
_________________________________

Please, please. How can I find her?
_________________________________

Well, some go this way.
_________________________________

Some go that way.
_________________________________

But as for me, myself, personally...
_________________________________

I prefer the short cut.

_________________________________
(DOOR CREAKS)
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________

_________________________________

HADES: Geez Louise!

What got his goat, huh?

_________________________________

Baboom. Name is Hades,

Lord of the Dead.

_________________________________

-Hi. How ya doin'?

-Not now, okay?

_________________________________

Hey, hey. I only need a few seconds

and I'm a fast talker, all right?

_________________________________

I've got the major deal in the works.

A real estate venture, if you will.

_________________________________

And Herc, you little devil you.

May I call you Herc?

_________________________________

You seem to be constantly

getting in the way of it.

_________________________________

You've got the wrong guy.

_________________________________

Hear me out, ya little...

Just hear me out, okay?

_________________________________

So I would be eternally grateful

_________________________________

if you would just take a day off

from this hero business of yours.

_________________________________

I mean, monsters, natural disasters.

You wait a day, okay?

_________________________________

-You're out of your mind.

-Not so fast, because, ya see,

_________________________________

I do have a little leverage

you might wanna know about.

_________________________________

-Meg!

-Don't listen, Herc...

_________________________________

-Let her go!

-Here's the trade-off.

_________________________________

You give up your strength

for about 24 hours, okay?

_________________________________

Say the next 24 hours.

_________________________________

And Meg here is free as a bird

and safe from harm.

_________________________________

We dance, we kiss, we schmooze,

we carry on, we go home happy.

_________________________________

What d'ya say? Come on.

_________________________________

People are gonna get hurt, aren't they?

_________________________________

Nah! I mean, it's a possibility.

It happens 'cause, you know, it's war.

_________________________________

But what can I tell ya? Anyway,

what do you owe these people?

_________________________________

Isn't Meg, little smoochy face,

isn't she more important than they are?

_________________________________

-Stop it!

-Isn't she?

_________________________________

You've gotta swear

she'll be safe from any harm.

_________________________________

Fine, okay. I'll give you that one.

_________________________________

Meg is safe, otherwise you get your

strength right back. Yadda yadda.

_________________________________

Fine print. Boilerplate. Okay? Done.

What d'ya say we shake on it?

_________________________________

Hey, I really don't have, like,

time to bat this around.

_________________________________

I'm kind of on a schedule here.

I got plans for August. Okay?

_________________________________

I need an answer, like, now.

Going once, going twice...

_________________________________

-All right!

-Yes, we're there! Bam!

_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

You may feel just a little queasy.

It's kinda natural.

_________________________________

Maybe you should sit down!

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Now you know how it feels

to be just like everybody else.

_________________________________

Isn't it just peachy?

_________________________________

Oh! (CHUCKLES)

You'll love this. One more thing.

_________________________________

Meg, babe, a deal's a deal.

You're off the hook.

_________________________________

And by the way, Herc,

is she not a fabulous little actress?

_________________________________

-Stop it.

-What do you mean?

_________________________________

I mean your little chickie-poo here

was working for me all the time.

_________________________________

Duh.

_________________________________

You're... You're lying!

_________________________________

-Help! (COUGHING)

-Jeepers, mister, you're really strong.

_________________________________

Couldn't have done it without you,

sugar, sweetheart, babe.

_________________________________

No! It's not like that.

_________________________________

I didn't mean to... I couldn't... I...

_________________________________

I'm so sorry.

_________________________________

Our hero's a zero! Our hero's a zero!

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Well, gotta blaze.

_________________________________

There's a whole cosmos up there

waiting for me with, hey, my name on it.

_________________________________

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

_________________________________

So much for the preliminaries,

and now on to the main event!

_________________________________

_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________

(MEN CHATTERING)
_________________________________

They got guns!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Man, that is one killer-diller costume!
_________________________________

Hey, gator, can you blow that horn?
_________________________________

Come on. Sit in with us!

We're playing Mardi Gras.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY)
_________________________________

We can't miss this! Little Louis

going to finally play with the big boys!
_________________________________

Naveen, you coming?
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

I'll catch up with you later.
_________________________________

Oh, Evangeline. Why can't I just look

Tiana in the eye and say,
_________________________________

"I will do whatever it takes to make

all your dreams come true because...
_________________________________

"Because I love you"?
_________________________________

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cap!

You making goo-goo eyes at my girl?
_________________________________

That's it! Put them up! I'm going to

make some shoes out of you!
_________________________________

No, Ray!

I am not in love with Evangeline.
_________________________________

I am in love with Tiana!
_________________________________

Ooh! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

You come here, you.
_________________________________

And I can no longer marry

Miss Charlotte LaBouff.
_________________________________

You're going to be happy together!
_________________________________

I'll find another way

to get Tiana a restaurant.
_________________________________

You're going to have

the cutest little tadpoles!
_________________________________

I will get a job.

Maybe two. Maybe three.
_________________________________

I can't wait to tell chére!
_________________________________

No, no, no. I must tell her. Alone.
_________________________________

Right. You rascal!
_________________________________

(BELL CLANGING)
_________________________________
TIANA: Where you taking me?

_________________________________

I just wanted to show you

a little something
_________________________________

to celebrate our last night together

as frogs.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

All my years no one's ever done

anything like this for me.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

It is too much, is it not?

Thank you, Beaux.
_________________________________

I thought it was a nice touch.
_________________________________

Pretend you did not see that.

Please, please, sit down.
_________________________________

-What's this?

-Ta-da!
_________________________________

-You minced.

-I did!
_________________________________

You have had

quite an influence on me,
_________________________________

which is amazing because I have dated

thousands of women and...
_________________________________

No, like two, three, just other women.

And anyway, listen.
_________________________________

You could not be more different,

you know?
_________________________________

You are practically one of the guys.
_________________________________

No, no, no. You are not a guy.

Let me begin again.
_________________________________

I'm not myself tonight.

Tiana! Sorry, that was loud.
_________________________________

-This is a disaster.

-No. It's cute.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

-Tiana, I...

-(GASPS) There it is!
_________________________________

Your restaurant?
_________________________________

Can't you just picture it?

All lit up like the Fourth of July.
_________________________________

-Yes. Jazz pouring out of every window!

-It should be elegant.
_________________________________

But you got to keep it loose, though.

Got to let it swing.
_________________________________

-You know a good ukulele player?

-Really? You'd let me perform?
_________________________________

I'll talk to the owner. Owner says yes.
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Folks are going to be coming together

from all walks of life
_________________________________

just to get a taste of our food.
_________________________________

Our food?
_________________________________

Huh? Oh, no. My daddy.
_________________________________

We always wanted

to open this restaurant.
_________________________________

He died before he could see it happen.
_________________________________

But tomorrow, with your help,

our dream is finally coming true.
_________________________________

-Tomorrow?

-If I don't deliver that money
_________________________________

first thing tomorrow,

I lose this place forever.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Tiana, I love
_________________________________

the way you light up

when you talk about your dream.
_________________________________

A dream that... It is so beautiful, I...
_________________________________

I promise I will do whatever it takes

to make it come true.
_________________________________

(BOAT HOOTING)
_________________________________

CAPTAIN: Port of New Orleans,

all ashore!
_________________________________

I'll go round up the boys.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Evangeline,
_________________________________

I've always been so sure about

what I wanted, but now I...
_________________________________

What do I do?
_________________________________

Please tell me.
_________________________________

(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

People of Agrabah,

_________________________________

my daughter has finally

chosen a suitor.

_________________________________

-(CROWD CHEERING)

-ALADDIN: Jasmine.

_________________________________

Ali, where have you been?

_________________________________

Jasmine, there's something

I got to tell you.

_________________________________

The whole kingdom's turned out

for Father's announcement.

_________________________________

No. But, Jasmine, listen to me, please.

_________________________________

-You don't understand...

-Good luck.

_________________________________

-SULTAN: Ali Ababwa!

-(CHEERING)

_________________________________

Oh, boy.

_________________________________

(CHEERING)

_________________________________

Look at them,

cheering that little pipsqueak.

_________________________________

Let them cheer.

_________________________________

You know, AI, I'm getting really...

_________________________________

I don't think you're him.

Tonight, the part of AI

_________________________________

will be played by a tall, dark

and sinister ugly man.

_________________________________

-I am your master now.

-I was afraid of that.

_________________________________

Genie, grant me my first wish.

_________________________________

I wish to rule on high as sultan.

_________________________________

-Whoa!

-Bless my soul.

_________________________________

What is this? What's going on?

_________________________________

Oh, my goodness, what's happening?

_________________________________

Father.

_________________________________

(CACKLING)

_________________________________

Jafar, you vile betrayer.

_________________________________

That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you.

_________________________________

Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that.

_________________________________

-(GASPS) The lamp.

-(JAFAR LAUGHS)

_________________________________

Finders keepers, Abubu.

_________________________________

(WHISTLES)

_________________________________

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

_________________________________

Genie, no!

_________________________________

Sorry, kid. I got a new master now.

_________________________________

Jafar, I order you to stop.

_________________________________

Ah, but there's a new order now.

_________________________________

My order.

_________________________________

Finally, you will bow to me.

_________________________________

We will never bow to you.

_________________________________

Why am I not surprised?

_________________________________

If you won't bow before a sultan,

_________________________________

then you will cower before a sorcerer!

_________________________________

Genie, my second wish...

_________________________________

I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer

in the world!

_________________________________

-(JAFAR LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

-Genie, stop!

_________________________________

Ladies and gentlemen,

_________________________________

a warm Agrabah welcome

for Sorcerer Jafar!

_________________________________

Now, where were we?

_________________________________

Ah, yes. Abject humiliation.

_________________________________

-Down, boy.

-(MEOWS)

_________________________________

Oh, Princess.

_________________________________

There's someone

I'm dying to introduce you to.

_________________________________

Jafar. Get your hands off her.

_________________________________

(SINGING) Prince Ali

Yes, it is he

_________________________________

But not as you know him

_________________________________

Read my lips

And come to grips with reality

_________________________________

Yes, meet a blast from yourpast

_________________________________

Whose lies were too good to last

_________________________________

Say hello

To your precious Prince Ali

_________________________________

Or should we say Aladdin?

_________________________________

Ali?

_________________________________

Jasmine, I tried to tell you. I'm just...

_________________________________

So Ali turns out to be

Merely Aladdin

_________________________________

Just a con, need I go on

_________________________________

Take it from me

_________________________________

His personality flaws

_________________________________

Give me adequate cause

_________________________________

To send him packing

On a one-way trip

_________________________________

Genie!

_________________________________

So his prospects

Take a terminal dip

_________________________________

His assets frozen, the venue chosen

Is the ends of the Earth, whoopee!

_________________________________

-So long!

-Good-bye, see ya.

_________________________________

Ex-Prince Ali

_________________________________

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

_________________________________

(WIND HOWLING)

_________________________________

(SHIVERING)

_________________________________

Abu.

_________________________________

Abu!

_________________________________

(ABU WHIMPERING)

_________________________________

Oh, this is all my fault.

_________________________________

I should have freed the genie

when I had the chance.

_________________________________

-Abu. Are you okay?

-(TEETH CHATTERING) Mmm-hmm.

_________________________________

I'm sorry, Abu.

_________________________________

I made a mess of everything.

_________________________________

Somehow, I gotta go back

and set things right.

_________________________________

Carpet.

_________________________________

-(ABU CHITTERS)

-(ALADDIN STRAINS)

_________________________________

Abu, start digging.

_________________________________

(FRANTIC PANTING)

_________________________________

That's it.

_________________________________

Yeah! All right!

_________________________________

(WHINES)

_________________________________

Now, back to Agrabah. Let's go.

_________________________________

_________________________________
(TRUMPETS BLARING)
_________________________________

Cinderella? Cinderella?
_________________________________

-Cinderella! Where is that...

-Yes?
_________________________________
Here I am.
_________________________________

My daughters, where are they?
_________________________________

-I think they're still in bed.
-(GROANS)
_________________________________

Don't just stand there!

Bring up the breakfast trays at once.
_________________________________
And hurry!
_________________________________

Wow. I wonder what's the matter.
_________________________________

What's the matter with her?
_________________________________

I don't know. Let's find out. Come on.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

The last number
on our Fantasia programme

_________________________________

is a combination of two pieces
of music so utterly different
_________________________________
in construction and mood

that they set each other off perfectly.
_________________________________

The first is
"A Night on Bald Mountain,"
_________________________________

by one of Russia's greatest composers,

Modeste Moussorgsky.
_________________________________

The second is Franz Schubert's

world-famous "Ave Maria."
_________________________________

Musically and dramatically,

we have here a picture
_________________________________

of the struggle
between the profane and the sacred.
_________________________________

"Bald Mountain," according to tradition,
_________________________________

is the gathering place

of Satan and his followers.
_________________________________

Here on Walpurgis Night, which is

the equivalent of our own Halloween,
_________________________________

the creatures of evil gather
to worship their master.
_________________________________

Under his spell, they dance furiously
_________________________________

until the coming of dawn

and the sounds of church bells
_________________________________

send the infernal army slinking back

into their abodes of darkness.
_________________________________

And then we hear the "Ave Maria,"

with its message of the triumph
_________________________________
and hope of life over the powers

of despair and death.
_________________________________
(SONG BEGINS)
_________________________________
(SONG ENDS)
_________________________________
(BELLS TOLLING)
_________________________________
(BELLS CONTINUE TO TOLL)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Drizella. Drizella!
_________________________________

(YAWNING) What?
_________________________________

Get up. Quick. This instant.

_________________________________
We haven't a moment to lose.
_________________________________

Anastasia.
_________________________________
Anastasia.
_________________________________

-Get up, Anastasia.
-(YAWNING)
_________________________________

What for? Why?
_________________________________

Everyone's talking about it,

the whole kingdom.
_________________________________
-Hurry now. He'll be here any minute.

-Who will?
_________________________________

The Grand Duke.
He's been hunting all night.
_________________________________

-Hunting?

-For that girl.
_________________________________

The one who lost
her slipper at the ball last night.
_________________________________

They say he's madly in love with her.
_________________________________

-The Duke is?

-No, no, no. The Prince!
_________________________________

-(GASPING) The Prince!
-(CRASHING)
_________________________________

STEPMOTHER: You clumsy little fool.
_________________________________

Clean that up,
then help my daughters dress.
_________________________________

What for?
_________________________________

If he's in love with that girl,
_________________________________

why should we even bother?
_________________________________

Now, you two, listen to me.
_________________________________

There is still a chance

that one of you can get it.
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________

BOTH: One of us?

Why, Mother, what do you mean?
_________________________________

Just this:
_________________________________
No one, not even the Prince,

knows who that girl is.
_________________________________

We know! We know! Cinderelly!
_________________________________

The glass slipper is their only clue.
_________________________________

The Duke has been ordered to try it on
_________________________________
every girl in the kingdom.
_________________________________

And if one can be found

whom the slipper fits,
_________________________________
then, by the King's command,
_________________________________
that girl shall be the Prince's bride.
_________________________________

-His bride.
-His bride!
_________________________________

Cinderella, get my things together.
_________________________________

Never mind her. Get mine right away.
_________________________________
(SISTERS SHOUTING ORDERS)
_________________________________

(STAMMERS)
What's the matter with her?
_________________________________

-Wake up, stupid.

-We've gotta get dressed.
_________________________________

Dressed. Oh, yes.
_________________________________

Oh, we must get dressed.
_________________________________
It wouldn't do for the Duke to see me...
_________________________________

Mother, did you see what she did?
_________________________________

-Are you just going to let her...

-Quiet!
_________________________________
(CINDERELLA HUMMING)
_________________________________

So this is love

_________________________________
(HUMMING)
_________________________________
What's she gonna do?
_________________________________

Shh. I don't know. Gotta watch.
_________________________________
Come on.
_________________________________
(CINDERELLA HUMMING)
_________________________________

-Cinderelly!

-Cinderelly!
_________________________________

So this is the miracle

_________________________________
That I've been dreaming of

_________________________________
(EXCITED CHATTERING)
_________________________________

What? (GASPS)
_________________________________

Oh! Oh, no!
_________________________________

No, please!
_________________________________

Oh, you can't, you just can't.
_________________________________

Let me out! You must let me out!
_________________________________

You can't keep me in here!
_________________________________

(SOBBING) Oh, please.
_________________________________

No, no. She can't do it.

She can't lock up Cinderelly.
_________________________________
-I'm gonna...
-Shh.
_________________________________
CINDERELLA: (SOBBING)
Please. Please.
_________________________________

We gotta get that key, Gus-Gus.

We just gotta get that key.
_________________________________

_________________________________
NARRATOR: It was an excellent plan,
_________________________________
cunningly contrived,
but extremely dangerous.

_________________________________
It would work only if each did his part.
_________________________________
There was no margin for error.

_________________________________
The odds against them
were tremendous.

_________________________________
But the stakes were high.

_________________________________
Now steady's the word.

_________________________________
One false move and four lives
hang in the balance.

_________________________________
Careful, lads. There is a guard.
_________________________________

-I'll pop him off.

-Stop!
_________________________________

Who goes there?

_________________________________
NARRATOR: Phew!
That was a close one.
_________________________________

Trust Toad to start things off
on the wrong foot.

_________________________________
Well, no turning back now.
_________________________________
Nothing for it but to push on.

_________________________________
What new and greater perils

lay ahead no one could say.

_________________________________
For with Toad already getting
out of hand, anything could happen.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
_________________________________

Prince Naveen, darling.
_________________________________

You better hurry up. Don't want to be

late for our Mardi Gras wedding.
_________________________________

Um... Getting dressed! Just a few more

minutes, my dearest heart.
_________________________________

Okay, honey lamb.

We'll be waiting in the Packard.
_________________________________

Daddy, start the car!
_________________________________

Oh, my heavens, I'm doomed! Ow!
_________________________________

No, Larry! I'm the one who's doomed.

Unless we get that frog's blood in...
_________________________________

(RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(SHADOWS HOWLING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

We are back in business, boys!
_________________________________

Get your filthy hands off me! Lawrence!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) Oh, now hold still,

Your Eminence.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

There. Does he know Mr. Mole's
gonna marry Thumbelina?

_________________________________

We'll find out when the ice melts.
_________________________________

Then we'll tell him.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Whoa! (GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Look. He's waking up.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(SINGING) Yo ho, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho

_________________________________

So try the life of a thief

_________________________________

Just sample the life of a crook

_________________________________

There isn't a boy who won't enjoy

_________________________________

A-workin' for Captain Hook

_________________________________

The world's most famous crook

_________________________________

Crook, crook

Crickety crockety, crickety, crick

_________________________________

The croc is after Captain...

_________________________________

A special offer for today

_________________________________

I'll tell you what I'll do

_________________________________

All those who sign without delay

_________________________________

Will get a free tattoo

_________________________________

Why, it's like money in the bank

_________________________________

Come on, join up and I'll be frank

_________________________________

Unless you do, you'll walk the plank

_________________________________

The choice is up to you

_________________________________

The choice is up to you

_________________________________

Yo ho, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho

_________________________________

You'll love the life of a thief

_________________________________

You'll relish the life of a crook

_________________________________

There's barrels of fun for everyone

_________________________________

And you'll get treasures by the ton

_________________________________

So come and sign the book

_________________________________

Join up with Captain Hook

_________________________________

-Hey, I wanna join!

-Please! Oh, boy!

_________________________________

-I wanna be a pirate!

-Oh, boy! A pirate!

_________________________________

Boys!

_________________________________

Aren't you ashamed of yourselves?

_________________________________

But Captain Hook

is most insistent, Wendy.

_________________________________

Yeah! He says we'll walk

the plank if we don't.

_________________________________

Oh, no, we won't.

Peter Pan will save us.

_________________________________

Peter Pan will save them, Smee.

_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Peter Pan will save them.

_________________________________
SMEE: Oh, captain, you did it.

_________________________________

But a thousand pardons, my dear.

_________________________________

I don't believe you are in

on our little joke.

_________________________________

You see, we left a present for Peter.

_________________________________
SMEE: Sort of a surprise package,

you might say.

_________________________________

Why, I can see our little friend

at this very moment,

_________________________________

reading the tender inscription.

_________________________________

(READING)

_________________________________

На.

_________________________________

I wonder what's in it.

_________________________________
HOOK: Could he but see

within the package,

_________________________________

he would find

an ingenious little device.

_________________________________

Set, so that when the clock is like this...

_________________________________

Peter Pan will be blasted

_________________________________

out of Never Land forever.

_________________________________

No!

_________________________________
HOOK: But time grows short.

_________________________________

We have but 18 seconds.

_________________________________

Fifteen seconds.

_________________________________

Thirteen seconds.

_________________________________
PETER: Twelve seconds.

_________________________________

Well, I guess I can open it now.

_________________________________

Hey, Tink. Look what Wendy left.

_________________________________

Hey, stop that! Stop it!

What's the matter with you?

_________________________________

Hook? A bomb?

_________________________________

Don't be ridiculous!

_________________________________

(ALARM RINGING)

_________________________________

(EXPLOSION)

_________________________________

And so passeth a worthy opponent.

_________________________________

Amen.

_________________________________

Hook! It was a bomb!

_________________________________

Why, if it hadn't been for Tink...

Tinker Bell!

_________________________________

(RUMBLING)

_________________________________

Tink? Tinker Bell?

_________________________________

(TINKER BELL JINGLING)

_________________________________

Where are you, Tink?

_________________________________

Tink? Tinker Bell!

_________________________________

(JINGLING FAINTLY)

_________________________________

Tink. Are you all right?

_________________________________

Wendy? The boys?

_________________________________

But I've gotta save you first.

Hold on, Tink! Hold on!

_________________________________

Don't go out.

Don't you understand, Tink?

_________________________________

You mean more to me

than anything in this whole world!
_________________________________

_________________________________

(DISTANT WHISTLING)
_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red
_________________________________

We dare not stop or waste a drop
So let the paint be spread
_________________________________

We're painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red
_________________________________

Painting the roses red
And many a tear we shed
_________________________________

Because we know they'll cease to grow
_________________________________

In fact, they'll soon be dead
_________________________________

(ALL SOB)
_________________________________

And yet we go ahead
painting the roses red

_________________________________

Painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red
_________________________________

Pardon me but, Mr. Three,
why must you paint them red?
_________________________________

ALL: Huh? Oh!
_________________________________

Well, the fact is, miss,
_________________________________

we planted the white roses
by mistake, and...

_________________________________

(SINGING)
The queen, she likes them red
_________________________________
If she saw white instead
_________________________________
-She'd raise a fuss
-And each of us
_________________________________

Would quickly lose his head
_________________________________

Goodness.

_________________________________

Since this is the thought we dread
We're painting the roses red

_________________________________

Oh, dear. Then let me help you.

_________________________________

(SINGING) Painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red
_________________________________

Don't tell the queen what you have
seen or say that's what we said
_________________________________
-We're painting the roses red
-Yes, painting the roses red

_________________________________
-Not pink

-Not green

_________________________________

-Not aquamarine
-We're painting the roses red

_________________________________
(FANFARE)
_________________________________

-The queen!
-The queen!

_________________________________
COMMANDER: Cards, halt!
_________________________________

Count off!
_________________________________

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack.
_________________________________

(PLAYING BUGLE)
_________________________________

The Rabbit!
_________________________________
(PANTS)
_________________________________

Her Imperial Highness, Her Grace,
_________________________________

Her Excellency, Her Royal Majesty,
the Queen of Hearts.
_________________________________

(ALL CHEER)

_________________________________
-And the king.
-CARD: Hooray!
_________________________________

Hmm!
_________________________________

Who's been painting my roses red?

_________________________________

Who's been painting my roses red?
_________________________________

Who dares to paint with vulgar
paint the royal flower bed?
_________________________________

(SINGING) For painting my roses red
_________________________________

Someone will lose his head
_________________________________

No, Your Majesty, please.
It's all his fault.

_________________________________

Not me, Your Grace. The ace.

_________________________________
-QUEEN: You?
-No. Two.
_________________________________

-The deuce, you say?
-Not me. The trey.

_________________________________

That's enough! Off with their heads!
_________________________________

(CHEERING)
_________________________________

(SINGING)
They're going to lose their heads
_________________________________
For painting the roses red
_________________________________

Serves them right, they planted
white and roses should be red
_________________________________

They're going to lose their heads
_________________________________

Silence!
_________________________________

-Please, they were only trying...
-And who is this?
_________________________________

Well. Well now, let me see, my dear.
_________________________________

It certainly isn't a heart.
Do you suppose it's a club?
_________________________________

Why, it's a little girl.

_________________________________
-Yes. And I was hoping...
-QUEEN: Look up. Speak nicely.
_________________________________

And don't twiddle your fingers.
_________________________________

Turn out your toes. Curtsy.
_________________________________

Open your mouth a little wider.
_________________________________

And always say, "Yes, Your Majesty."
_________________________________

-Yes, Your Majesty.
-(QUEEN CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Now, where d'you come from
and where are you going?
_________________________________

-I'm trying to find my way home.
-Your way?
_________________________________

All ways here are my ways!
_________________________________

Yes, I know. But I was just thinking...
_________________________________

Curtsy while you're thinking.
It saves time.

_________________________________

Yes, Your Majesty.
But I was only going to ask...
_________________________________

I'll ask the questions!
_________________________________

-Do you play croquet?
-Yes, Your Majesty.

_________________________________

Then let the game begin!
_________________________________

To your places!
By order of the king! Hurry!

_________________________________
COMMANDER: Shuffle deck!
_________________________________

Cards, cut!
_________________________________

Deal cards!
_________________________________

Cards, halt!
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Silence!
_________________________________

(CHEERING)
_________________________________

Off with his head!
_________________________________

Off with his head. By order of the king.
You heard what she said.

_________________________________

-You're next.
-But...
_________________________________

-My dear.
-Yes, Your Majesty.
_________________________________

(GIGGLES)
_________________________________

(LAUGHTER)

_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
(GIGGLES)
_________________________________

Stop!
_________________________________

Of all the impossible...

_________________________________

-Do you want us both to lose our heads?
-Uh-huh.
_________________________________

Well, I don't.

_________________________________

Huh? (SQUAWKS)
_________________________________
(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________

(CHESHIRE CAT HUMS)
_________________________________

I say, how are you getting on?
_________________________________

-Not at all.
-Beg pardon?
_________________________________

-I said not at all.
-Who are you talking to?
_________________________________

-A cat, Your Majesty.
-Cat? Where?
_________________________________

There.
_________________________________

-There he is again.
-I warn you, child.
_________________________________

If I lose my temper,
you will lose your head.
_________________________________

Understand?
_________________________________

You know,
we could make her really angry.

_________________________________

-Shall we try?
-No.
_________________________________

-But it's loads of fun.
-No. Stop.
_________________________________

Oh, no!
_________________________________

Oh, my fur and whiskers.
_________________________________

Oh, dear. Save the queen.

_________________________________
QUEEN: Someone's head
will roll for this.
_________________________________

Yours!
_________________________________

Off with her...
_________________________________

But, consider, my dear.
Couldn't she have a trail first?
_________________________________

-Trial?
-Well, just a little trial?

_________________________________

Very well, then. Let the trial begin.
_________________________________
(CHEERING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Now we come to the next chapter,
_________________________________

in which the first snowfall had

covered the Hundred Acre Wood.

_________________________________
And in which Tigger learns
that even bouncing can be overdone.
_________________________________

On this day,
_________________________________
Roo was waiting for Tigger
to take him out to play.

_________________________________
Mama, when is Tigger gonna get here?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Be patient, dear.
He'll be here.
_________________________________

Well, (CHUCKLES) here I am!
_________________________________

Did I surprise you, Roo?
_________________________________

You sure did! I like surprises.
_________________________________

-Hello, Mrs. Kanga, ma'am.

-Why, hello, Tigger, dear.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) She called me "dear."
_________________________________

Roo, are you ready for some bouncing?
_________________________________

Yeah! You and me are good bouncers.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Just a moment, dear.
_________________________________

Hold still.
Goodness, you're bouncy today.
_________________________________

That's what roos do the best-est.
_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES) Now keep your scarf on.

-Not so tight, Mama.
_________________________________

-Is your sweater warm enough?

-Yes, Mother.
_________________________________

Well, come on, Roo. Let's go!
_________________________________

Tigger, have Roo home

in time for his nap.
_________________________________

And be careful!
_________________________________

Don't worry, Mrs. Kanga.

I'll take care of the little nipper.
_________________________________
Hoo, hoo, hoo!
_________________________________
Hoo, hoo, hoo!
_________________________________

(SCATTING)
_________________________________

Ah! What a perfect day!
_________________________________

Peace and quiet,

and thank goodness, no Tigger.
_________________________________

Say, look, look, look.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) If it isn't old long-ears.
_________________________________

Can tiggers ice skate

as fancy as Mr. Rabbit?
_________________________________

Can tiggers ice skate? (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

That's what tiggers do the best.
_________________________________

Hoo, hoo, hoo! Whee!
_________________________________

Say, this is a cinch.
_________________________________

Whee! (GASPS)
_________________________________

Oh, no. Not him!
_________________________________

Uh-oh, I can't... Watch out!
_________________________________

-It can't be!

-Out of the way!
_________________________________

Look out! I can't... Whoa!
_________________________________
(CLATTERING)
_________________________________

Oh, why does it always have to be me?
_________________________________

Why, oh, why, oh, why?
_________________________________

Tigger, Tigger, are you all right?
_________________________________

(SPITS) Yuck!
_________________________________

Tiggers don't like ice skating.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: (CHUCKLES)

So Tigger and Roo

_________________________________

went farther

into the Hundred Acre Wood

_________________________________
looking for something

that tiggers do best.

_________________________________
I bet you can climb trees, huh, Tigger?
_________________________________

Climb trees?

That's what tiggers do best!
_________________________________

Only tiggers don't climb trees.

They bounce them!
_________________________________

Come on, let's go.
_________________________________

I almost bounced clear out of the book.
_________________________________

Some bouncing, huh?
_________________________________
(GASPS)

_________________________________

TIGGER: Say, how did this tree

get so high?

_________________________________

Hey. Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

What's happening now?
_________________________________

Don't swing on a string,

it's much too frail,
_________________________________

the best kind of swing is a tigger's tail.
_________________________________
Whee!
_________________________________

Stop that, kid. Please.

_________________________________

TIGGER: S-T-O-P. Stop!

_________________________________

You're rocking the forest.
_________________________________

What's the matter, Tigger?
_________________________________

Whew! Oh, thank goodness.
_________________________________

I was just getting see-sick from
(GULPS) seeing too much.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: We'll have to leave Tigger

up in the treetop for a little while.

_________________________________

Because, at the bottom

of the next page,
_________________________________

Pooh is having a problem of his own.

_________________________________
-What are you doing, Pooh?

-Shh!
_________________________________

-Tracking something.

-Tracking what?
_________________________________

That's what I asked myself, Piglet.
What?
_________________________________

And what do you think

you'll answer yourself?
_________________________________

I shall have to wait

until I catch up with it.
_________________________________

Pooh, for a bear of very little brain,

you sure are a smart one!
_________________________________

Thank you, Piglet.
_________________________________

Ah-ha!
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Now what?
_________________________________

A very mysterious thing, Piglet.
_________________________________

A whole new set of tracks. See?

_________________________________

NARRATOR: And so it seemed to be.

_________________________________

There were the tracks

joining each other, here,

_________________________________
getting mixed up

with each other, there.

_________________________________
But to Pooh, quite plainly,

four sets of paw marks.

_________________________________
Piglet, whatever it was

that made these tracks,
_________________________________

has now been joined

by a whatever-it-is.
_________________________________

Yes.
_________________________________
And all of them are
proceeding in company.
_________________________________

Piglet, I wasn't exactly

expecting company.
_________________________________

Neither was I, Pooh.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: So they went on,

feeling a little anxious now,

_________________________________

in case the animals in front
of them were of hostile intent.

_________________________________

TIGGER: Hello!
_________________________________
(GASPS)

_________________________________

Look, look, Piglet, there's
something in that tree over there.
_________________________________

-Is it one of the fiercer animals?

-Hello!
_________________________________

Yes. It's a jagular.
_________________________________

What do jagulars do, Pooh?
_________________________________

Well, jagulars always call, "Hello!"
_________________________________

And when you look up,

they drop on you.
_________________________________

I'm looking down, Pooh.
_________________________________

Hello!
_________________________________

Hey, Tigger, it's Pooh and Piglet.
_________________________________

Pooh! Piglet!
_________________________________

Why, it's only Tigger and Roo.
_________________________________

Come on.
_________________________________

Hello, Roo.
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES) What are you

and Tigger doing up there?
_________________________________

I'm all right, (CHUCKLES)

but Tigger's stuck.
_________________________________

Help, somebody, please.

Get Christopher Robin.
_________________________________

_________________________________
(WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(DOOR CREAKS)
_________________________________
(SNORING)
_________________________________
MOLE: Oh, look. They're all asleep.
_________________________________
MacBADGER: Lads, they're drunk.
They're been hitting the bottle.
_________________________________
-But where's Winky?
-RAT: There he is.
_________________________________
MacBADGER: Shh.
He's got the paper on him.
_________________________________

(WHISPERS)
We'll have to climb up on the balcony.
_________________________________
(SNORES)
_________________________________
(GULPS)
_________________________________

_________________________________

(HUMMING WEDDING MARCH)

_________________________________

(ARIEL'S VOICE SINGING)
What a lovely little bride I'll make

_________________________________

My dear, I'll look divine

_________________________________

(LAUGHS)

_________________________________

Things are working out

According to my ultimate design

_________________________________

(LAUGHS)

_________________________________

Soon I'll have that little mermaid

_________________________________

And the ocean will be mine

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________
(CACKLES)
_________________________________

The sea witch! Oh, no!

She's gonna... I gotta...

_________________________________

Ariel!

_________________________________

Ariel!

_________________________________

Ariel, I was flying...

Of course, I was flying. And...

_________________________________

I saw the... The watch...

The witch was watching the mirror,

_________________________________

and she was singin'

with a stolen set of pipes.

_________________________________

Do you hear what I'm tellin' you?

_________________________________

The prince is marrying

the sea witch in disguise!

_________________________________

-Are you sure about this?

-Have I ever been wrong?

_________________________________

I mean, when it's important?

_________________________________

What are we gonna do?

_________________________________
URSULA: Before the sun sets

on the third day.

_________________________________

(URSULA'S VOICE ECHOES)

_________________________________
SEBASTIAN: Ariel, grab onto that.

_________________________________

Flounder, get her to that boat

as fast as your fins can carry you.

_________________________________

I'll try!

_________________________________

I gotta get to the sea king.

He must know about this.

_________________________________

-What about me? What about me?

-You!

_________________________________

Find a way to stall that wedding!

_________________________________

Stall the wedding. What am I?

_________________________________

What? That's it! (SQUAWKS)

_________________________________
(SQUAWKING)
_________________________________

-(CLICKING)

-Move it! Let's go!

_________________________________

-We got an emergency here.
-(BARKING)

_________________________________

-(SQUAWKING)
-(CHIRPING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(DOOR OPENS)
_________________________________

Let's get this over with, Rider.
_________________________________

Where are we going?
_________________________________

Oh.

_________________________________
Kermit. We have our celebrity!

_________________________________

Mr. Jack Black has graciously

agreed to do the telethon!
_________________________________

Oh, my gosh, that's amazing.

Where is he?
_________________________________

-In the trunk.

-JACK: Get me outta here!
_________________________________

You kidnapped Jack Black?

That's illegal!
_________________________________

But, Kermit, what's more illegal,

briefly inconveniencing Jack Black,
_________________________________

or destroying the Muppets?
_________________________________

Kidnapping Jack Black, Fozzie!
_________________________________

Kermit, listen. Whatever

I may think of you right now,
_________________________________

these guys are counting on you.

You inspire them.
_________________________________

-What, to kidnap people?

-To work together.
_________________________________

-To kidnap people?
-Mr. The Frog, we all agreed
_________________________________
a celebrity is not a people.

_________________________________

And now that we have a celebrity,
the show's back on.
_________________________________

Come on, Kermit.

Don't let these guys down now.
_________________________________

All right. Well, what are you guys
still doing here, huh? It's showtime!
_________________________________

(ALL SHOUTING)
_________________________________
BOBO: Nicely done, sir. As usual.
TEX: En garde.

_________________________________

Oh. Mmm-hmm. Ow!
_________________________________

-Ow! Okay, very nice. Doh!

-(TEARING)
_________________________________

Halt! Point left!
_________________________________

Well done, sir. Thank you.

Thank you so much.
_________________________________

MAN: And coming up next on CDE,

The Muppet Telethon.
_________________________________

Kermit and friends host
a celebrity-studded gala,
_________________________________

with special guest Jack Black.

_________________________________
-Oh, he's pretty good.

-Ah!
_________________________________

-We're going to phase two.

-Yes, Mr. Richman.
_________________________________

Hmm... So do you think we're
working for the bad guy?

_________________________________

There. It never happened.
_________________________________

Now, wash up for dinner.

I'm making hazelnut soup.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) I really did try, Rapunzel.

I tried to warn you what was out there.
_________________________________

The world is dark and selfish and cruel.
_________________________________

If it finds

even the slightest ray of sunshine,
_________________________________

it destroys it.
_________________________________

_________________________________

-MAURICE: Belle.

-Shh.

_________________________________

It's all right, Papa. I'm home.

_________________________________

I thought I'd never see you again.

_________________________________

-I missed you so much!

-But the Beast...

_________________________________

-Did you... How did you escape?

-I didn't escape, Papa.

_________________________________

-He... He let me go.

-That horrible beast?

_________________________________

But he's different now, Papa.

He's changed somehow.

_________________________________

(RATTLING)

_________________________________

-Hi!

-Oh! A stowaway.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) Why, hello there,

little fella.

_________________________________

Didn't think I'd see you again.

_________________________________

Belle, why'd you go away?

_________________________________

Don't you like us any more?

_________________________________

-Chip, of course I do. It's just that...

-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

_________________________________

-May I help you?

-I've come to collect your father.

_________________________________

-My father?

-Don't worry, mademoiselle.

_________________________________

We'll take good care of him.

_________________________________

-My father's not crazy!

-He was raving like a lunatic!

_________________________________

-We all heard him, didn't we?

-ALL: Yes!

_________________________________

(INDISTINCT YELLING)

_________________________________

-No, I won't let you!

-Belle?

_________________________________
Maurice, tell us again, old man.

_________________________________

Just how big was the beast?

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

He was... I mean, he was...

He was enormous!

_________________________________

I'd... I'd say at least eight,

no, more like 10 feet!

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Well, you don't get much crazier

than that.

_________________________________

It's true, I tell you.

_________________________________

-LeFOU: Get him out of here!

-Let go of me!

_________________________________

No! You can't do this!

_________________________________

Poor Belle.

It's a shame about your father.

_________________________________

You know he's not crazy, Gaston.

_________________________________

I might be able to clear up

this little misunderstanding if...

_________________________________

-If what?

-If you marry me.

_________________________________

-What?

-One little word, Belle.

_________________________________

-That's all it takes.

-Never!

_________________________________

Have it your way.

_________________________________

Belle? Let go of me!

_________________________________

My father's not crazy

and I can prove it.

_________________________________

Show me the Beast.

_________________________________

(ALL GASP)

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

-WOMAN: Is it dangerous?

-No, no, he'd never hurt anyone.

_________________________________

Please, I know he looks vicious,

but he's really kind and gentle.

_________________________________

-He's my friend.

-If I didn't know better,

_________________________________

I'd think you had feelings

for this monster.

_________________________________

He's no monster, Gaston. You are!

_________________________________

She's as crazy as the old man.

_________________________________

The Beast will make off

with your children.

_________________________________

(ALL GASP)

_________________________________

-He'll come after them in the night.

-No.

_________________________________

We're not safe till his head

is mounted on my wall!

_________________________________

I say we kill the Beast!

_________________________________

(ALL EXCLAIM)

_________________________________

(SINGING) We're not safe

until he's dead

_________________________________

He'll come stalking us at night

_________________________________

Set to sacrifice our children

_________________________________

To his monstrous appetite

_________________________________

He'll wreak havoc on our village

_________________________________

If we let him wander free

_________________________________

So, it's time to take some action, boys

_________________________________

It's time to follow me

_________________________________

Through the mist, through the woods

through the darkness and the shadows

_________________________________

It's a nightmare

but it's one exciting ride

_________________________________

Say a prayer, then we're there

at the drawbridge of a castle

_________________________________

And there's something

truly terrible inside

_________________________________

It's a beast

He's got fangs, razor-sharp ones

_________________________________

Massive paws, killer claws

for the feast

_________________________________

Hear him roar, see him foam

_________________________________

But we're not coming home

_________________________________

Till he's dead, good and dead

Kill the Beast!

_________________________________

No, I won't let you do this.

_________________________________

If you're not with us, you're against us.

Bring the old man!

_________________________________

Get your hands off me!

_________________________________

We can't have them running off

to warn the creature.

_________________________________

-Let us out!

-We'll rid the village of this beast!

_________________________________

-Who's with me?

-ALL: I am!

_________________________________

-I am!

-I am!

_________________________________

Light your torch, mount your horse

_________________________________

Screw your courage

to the sticking place

_________________________________

We're counting on Gaston

to lead the way

_________________________________

Through a mist, to a wood

where within a haunted castle

_________________________________

Something's lurking

that you don't see every day

_________________________________

It's a beast

One as tall as a mountain

_________________________________

We won't rest

till he's good and deceased

_________________________________

Sally forth, tally-ho

_________________________________

Grab your sword and your bow

_________________________________

Praise the Lord and here we go

_________________________________

We'll lay siege to the castle

and bring back his head!

_________________________________

I have to warn the Beast.

This is all my fault.

_________________________________

-Papa, what are we going to do?

-Now, now. We'll think of something.

_________________________________

Ah!

_________________________________

ALL: We don't like

what we don't understand

_________________________________

In fact, it scares us

_________________________________

And this monster

is mysterious at least

_________________________________

Bring your guns, bring your knives

_________________________________

Save your children and your wives

_________________________________

We'll save our village and our lives

_________________________________

We'll kill the Beast

_________________________________

I knew it. I knew it was foolish

to get our hopes up.

_________________________________

Maybe it would have been better

if she'd never come at all.

_________________________________

(BARKING)

_________________________________

-Could it be...

-Is it she?

_________________________________

Sacrebleu! Invaders!

_________________________________

COGSWORTH: Encroachers.

MRS. POTTS: And they have the mirror.

_________________________________

Warn the master.

_________________________________

If it's a fight they want,

we'll be ready for them. Who's with me?

_________________________________

-(DOOR SLAMS)

-Ah!

_________________________________

Take whatever booty you can find.

_________________________________

But remember, the Beast is mine!

_________________________________

ALL: (SINGING)

Hearts ablaze, banners high

_________________________________

We go marching into battle

_________________________________

Unafraid, although the danger

just increased

_________________________________

Raise the flag, sing the song

_________________________________

Here we come, we're 50 strong

_________________________________

And 50 Frenchmen can't be wrong

_________________________________

Let's kill the Beast

_________________________________

(THUDDING)

_________________________________

-Pardon me, Master.

-Leave me in peace.

_________________________________

But, sir, the castle is under attack.

_________________________________

ALL: Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!

_________________________________

-This isn't working.

-Lumiere, we must do something!

_________________________________

Wait! I know!

_________________________________

Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!

_________________________________

(THUDDING)

_________________________________

What shall we do, Master?

_________________________________

It doesn't matter now.

_________________________________

Just let them come.

_________________________________

Kill the Beast! Kill the Beast!

_________________________________

Kill the Beast!

_________________________________

_________________________________
(HORSE TROTTING)
_________________________________
-DRIVER: Whoa.
-(BUGLE SOUNDS)
_________________________________

He's over here, the Duke-Duke.
_________________________________

-Yeah, yeah. Who?

-The Grand Duke, with the slipper.
_________________________________

We gotta get that key quick.
_________________________________

Yup, yup. Key, key. Quick.
_________________________________

Oh, Mother, Mother,
he's here, he's here.
_________________________________

-The Grand Duke.

-Do I look all right?
_________________________________
-I'm so excited, I don't know what I'll do.
-STEPMOTHER: Girls.
_________________________________
Now, remember,

this is your last chance. Don't fail me.
_________________________________
(SOUNDING)
_________________________________

Announcing
His Imperial Grace, the Grand Duke.
_________________________________

You honor our humble home.
_________________________________

Quite so.
_________________________________

May I present my daughters,
_________________________________

Drizella, Anastasia.
_________________________________

Your Grace.
_________________________________

Yes. Charmed, I'm sure.
_________________________________

His Grace will read
the royal proclamation.
_________________________________
(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

"All loyal subjects
of His Imperial Majesty
_________________________________
"are hereby notified by royal
proclamation in regard to a certain
_________________________________

"glass (YAWNING) slipper.
_________________________________

"It is decreed..."
_________________________________

Why, that's my slipper!
_________________________________

(GASPING) Well, I like that.
It's my slipper!
_________________________________

No, no, no! It's Cinderelly's slipper!
_________________________________
-How can she stand there...
-STEPMOTHER: Girls.
_________________________________

Your manners.
_________________________________

A thousand pardons, Your Grace.
_________________________________

Please continue.
_________________________________

Yes, quite so.
_________________________________

Eh, um... Oh, yes.
"It is upon this day decreed
_________________________________

"that a quest be instituted throughout...
(YAWNING)
_________________________________
"The sole and express
purpose of such quest to be as follows:
_________________________________

"That every maid throughout the
kingdom without exception,
_________________________________

"shall try on her foot

this slipper of glass,
_________________________________

"and should one be found upon whose
foot this slipper shall properly fit,
_________________________________
(DUKE YAWNING)
_________________________________

"such maiden shall be
acclaimed the object of this search
_________________________________

"and shall be looked upon

as the true love of His Royal Highness,
_________________________________

"our beloved son and heir,

(YAWNING) the noble Prince.
_________________________________
(CLEARING THROAT)
_________________________________

"Said Prince will, upon bended knee
_________________________________

"beg, request, or if need be, implore
_________________________________

"said maiden that he be granted her
hand in marriage. (YAWNS)
_________________________________

"Whereupon,

should the aforementioned maiden
_________________________________

"look with favor,

shall the couple pledge their troth...
_________________________________
(YAWNING)
_________________________________

"And in due course, upon the inevitable
demise of His Majesty the King,
_________________________________

"succeed to the throne

to rule over the land
_________________________________

"as King and Queen of our kingdom.
_________________________________

-(BANGING)
-(SIGHING) "So be it."
_________________________________

You must be quite fatigued, Your Grace.
_________________________________

May we offer you some tea?
_________________________________

DUKE: What? Tea? (YAWNING)
_________________________________

Thank you, madam, no.
_________________________________

We must proceed with the fitting.
_________________________________

Of course. Anastasia, dear.
_________________________________

There. I knew it was my slipper.
_________________________________

Exactly my size.
_________________________________

I always wear the same size.
_________________________________

As soon as I saw it, I said...
_________________________________

Oh, well...
_________________________________
It may be a trifle snug today.
_________________________________

You know how it is, dancing all night.
_________________________________

I can't understand why.
_________________________________

It's always fit perfectly before.
_________________________________

I don't think you're half trying.
_________________________________

-Mother, can you...

-Shh.
_________________________________
Quiet, my dear.

We mustn't disturb His Grace.
_________________________________

Young man, are you sure
you're trying it on the right foot?
_________________________________
(SQUEALING)
_________________________________
ANASTASIA:
Oh, it's the right foot, but...
_________________________________

These glass shoes
aren't always reliable.
_________________________________

Come on, hurry.
_________________________________
Up the stairs, up the stairs!
_________________________________
Lucify, Lucify.
_________________________________
(STRAINING)
_________________________________
Up, up, up with it.
_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
(PANTING)
_________________________________
Here.
_________________________________
(STRAINING)
_________________________________
(PANTING)
_________________________________
Shh.
_________________________________

Why can't you hold still a minute?
_________________________________

Oh! My word. Enough of this!
_________________________________

The next young lady, please.
_________________________________

Did you hear that, Gus?
_________________________________

-Yup.

-Gotta hurry.
_________________________________

Shh. Come on, come on, hurry.
_________________________________
(STAMMERING)
_________________________________

. Gus-Gus, Gus-Gus, come on.
_________________________________

Look, look. Just up there. Come on.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(FANFARE)
_________________________________

Your Majesty, members of the jury,
_________________________________

loyal subjects...
_________________________________

-(CLEARS THROAT)
-...and the king.
_________________________________

The prisoner is charged with enticing
Her Majesty the Queen of Hearts
_________________________________
into a game of croquet and willfully
and with with malice aforethought

_________________________________
teasing, tormenting
and otherwise annoying...
_________________________________

Never mind all that!
Get to the part where I lose my temper.

_________________________________

(MUMBLES) ...causing the queen
to lose her temper.

_________________________________

Now, are you ready for your sentence?
_________________________________

Sentence?
But there must be a verdict first.

_________________________________

Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.

_________________________________

-But that just isn't the way...
-All ways are...

_________________________________

Your ways, Your Majesty.

_________________________________

Yes, my child.

_________________________________
-Off with her...
-Consider, my dear.

_________________________________
We've called no witnesses. Couldn't
we hear maybe one or two, huh?
_________________________________

-Maybe?
-Oh, very well.
_________________________________

But get on with it!
_________________________________

First witness.
Herald, call the first witness.

_________________________________
RABBIT: The March Hare.
_________________________________

What do you know about
this unfortunate affair?
_________________________________

-Nothing.
-Nothing whatever?
_________________________________

-Nothing whatever!
-That's very important!
_________________________________

Jury, write that down.

_________________________________

Unimportant, Your Majesty means,
of course.

_________________________________

Silence! Next witness.

_________________________________
RABBIT: The Dormouse.
_________________________________

-Well?
-Shh.
_________________________________

(WHISPERS) What have you
to say about this?
_________________________________

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder...
_________________________________

That's the most important piece
of evidence we've heard yet.

_________________________________
Write that down!
_________________________________

Twinkle, twinkle...

_________________________________

Twinkle, twinkle. What next?

_________________________________
RABBIT: The Mad Hatter.
_________________________________

(GIGGLES)
_________________________________

-Off with your hat!
-Oh, my.
_________________________________

Where were you when this
horrible crime was committed?
_________________________________

I was home drinking tea.

_________________________________

Today, you know, is my unbirthday.

_________________________________

Why, my dear,
today is your unbirthday, too.

_________________________________

-It is?
-It is?
_________________________________

CROWD: It is?
_________________________________
-(SINGING) A very merry unbirthday
-To me?

_________________________________
Oh, no.

_________________________________

-A very merry unbirthday
-For me
_________________________________

For you
_________________________________

Now blow the candle out, my dear,
and make your wish come true
_________________________________

A very merry unbirthday
_________________________________

To you
_________________________________

-Oh, Your Majesty.
-Yes, my dear?
_________________________________

-Look. There he is now.
-What? Who?
_________________________________

-The Cheshire Cat.
-Cat?
_________________________________

Cat! Cat! (STUTTERS) Cat!
_________________________________

-There he goes.
-This is terrible. Help.
_________________________________
-Stop him.
-Catch him, somebody. Help me.

_________________________________
-Get me the jam.
-The jam. By order of the king.
_________________________________

-The jam.
-Let me have it.

_________________________________
QUEEN: Somebody's head
is going to roll for this!
_________________________________

Ah-ha!
_________________________________

The mushroom.

_________________________________

Off with her...
_________________________________
(CARDS SHOUT)
_________________________________

Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you.

_________________________________

Why, you're nothing but a pack of cards.

_________________________________

Rule 42: all persons more than a mile
high must leave the court immediately.
_________________________________

I'm not a mile high, and I'm not leaving.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Sorry. Rule 42, you know.

_________________________________

And as for you, Your Majesty.

_________________________________

Your Majesty indeed.
You're not a queen.

_________________________________

You're just a fat, pompous,
bad-tempered old ty... Tyrant.
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

And er... What were you
saying, my dear?
_________________________________

Well, she simply said that you're a fat,

pompous, bad-tempered old tyrant.
_________________________________

Off with her head!
_________________________________

You heard what Her Majesty said.

Off with her head.
_________________________________

(FANFARE)
_________________________________

_________________________________

(SQUEAKING SADLY)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

How did you know about her?

Tell me, now!
_________________________________

It wasn't us! It was the old lady!
_________________________________

Old lady?
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Wait. No! Wait!
_________________________________

You don't understand!

She's in trouble! Wait!
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

What's going on up there?
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

Are you all right?
_________________________________

I'm the lost princess.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Please speak up, Rapunzel.

You know how I hate the mumbling.
_________________________________

(LOUDLY) I am the lost princess.
_________________________________

Aren't I?
_________________________________

Did I mumble, Mother?
_________________________________

Or should I even call you that?
_________________________________

Oh, Rapunzel,

do you even hear yourself?
_________________________________

Why would you ask

such a ridiculous question?
_________________________________

It was you! It was all you!
_________________________________

Everything I did was to protect you.
_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-Rapunzel!
_________________________________

I've spent my entire life

hiding from people
_________________________________

-who would use me for my power...

-Rapunzel!
_________________________________

...when I should have been hiding

from you!
_________________________________

Where will you go?

He won't be there for you.
_________________________________
RAPUNZEL: What did you do to him?

_________________________________
GOTHEL: That criminal is to be hanged

for his crimes.
_________________________________

-(GASPS) No.

-Now, now, it's all right.
_________________________________

Listen to me.

All of this is as it should be.
_________________________________

No! You were wrong about the world.
_________________________________

And you were wrong about me!
_________________________________

And I will never

let you use my hair again!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(SOFTLY) You want me

to be the bad guy?
_________________________________

Fine, now I'm the bad guy.

_________________________________

-(HORN HONKING)

-(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

Hurry! The show starts in ten minutes!
_________________________________

-(ALL SHOUTING)

-Where did you learn to drive?
_________________________________

Hang on, everyone!
_________________________________

Come on, guys.

Okay, listen up, everybody! This is it!
_________________________________

Five minutes to curtain!
_________________________________

-Kermit?

-Uh, listen,
_________________________________

get ready for the opening number.
_________________________________

-Yes?

-I need to talk to you about my act.
_________________________________

Listen, Walter,

I know you're gonna be fine.
_________________________________

In fact, I'm sure you'll be great.

Scooter, who's up first?
_________________________________

-Come on, come on, come on!

-No...
_________________________________
-Fly in the arches!

-(CLUCKING)
_________________________________

Okay, first we have the opening theme.
_________________________________

Of course. Yeah.
_________________________________

Then you come out

and introduce Fozzie.
_________________________________

-Right.

-Then we have...
_________________________________

TV executive at six o'clock!
_________________________________

-What? Ah!

-The show is a disaster, frog!
_________________________________

-Veronica...

-Where's the audience?
_________________________________

I knew you guys

weren't popular anymore.
_________________________________

I should have trusted that chart.

There's no one here!
_________________________________

-What about Hobo Joe?

-Who?
_________________________________

Why does everybody

forget about Hobo Joe?
_________________________________

-Just a second. Scooter!

-Uh, yeah, chief?
_________________________________

Scooter,

did you hand out all those flyers?
_________________________________

Of course. Every last one!
_________________________________

Don't worry. We'll think of something!
_________________________________

-You better.

-Oh!
_________________________________

_________________________________

(HOWLING)

_________________________________

Brothers! Titans!

_________________________________

Look at you in your squalid prison!

_________________________________

Who put you down there?

_________________________________

TITANS: Zeus!

_________________________________

And now that I set you free, what is

the first thing you are going to do?

_________________________________

-TITANS: Destroy him!

-Good answer.

_________________________________

Crush Zeus!

_________________________________

Freeze him!

_________________________________

Melt Zeus!

_________________________________

Blow him away!

_________________________________

(BLEATING)

_________________________________

ALL: Zeus!

_________________________________

-HADES: Uh, guys?

-Huh?

_________________________________

Olympus would be that way.

_________________________________

-Zeus!

-Freeze him!

_________________________________

Hold it, bright eye.

_________________________________

I have a special job for you,

my optic friend.

_________________________________

(RUMBLING)

_________________________________

-(ROCK TITAN YELLING)

-Ah, huh?

_________________________________

Destroy Zeus!

_________________________________

Oh, we're in trouble!

Big trouble! I gotta...

_________________________________

My lord and lady,

the Titans have escaped,

_________________________________

and they're practically at our gates!

_________________________________

Sound the alarm!

Launch an immediate counterattack!

_________________________________

-Go! Go!

-Gone, babe.

_________________________________

(TRUMPETING)

_________________________________

Huh?

_________________________________

Charge!

_________________________________

Yah!

_________________________________

On to battle!

_________________________________

(SHOUTING)

_________________________________

Eeyah!

_________________________________

You windbag!

_________________________________

(SHOUTING)

_________________________________

Boom, badda-boom, boom, boom!

Hah!

_________________________________

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

_________________________________

CYCLOPS: Hercules!

_________________________________

Where are you?

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

What can we do?

_________________________________

-Where is Hercules?

-Yeah, Hercules'll save us.

_________________________________

Hercules!

_________________________________

Come out! Face me!

_________________________________

What are you doing?

Without your strength, you'll be killed.

_________________________________

There are worse things.

_________________________________

Run!

_________________________________

Wait! Stop!

_________________________________

-Hey, look! It's Hercules.

-Thank the gods!

_________________________________

-We're saved!

-CYCLOPS: So...

_________________________________

You mighty Hercules.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

-Oh!

-(GROANING)

_________________________________

-(PEGASUS WHINNYING)

-(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

Easy, horsefeathers.

_________________________________

-(WHINNYING CONTINUES)

-Whoa, stop twitching.

_________________________________

Listen. Hercules is in trouble.

_________________________________

We've gotta find Phil.

_________________________________

He's the only one

who can talk some sense into him.

_________________________________

-(PEGASUS WHINNYING)

-(MEG YELLING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

Yoo-hoo! You've got audience.
_________________________________

It's me! What am I, invisible?
_________________________________

-(KNOCKING)

-Jack Black.
_________________________________

Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Black.
_________________________________

-Hi!

-Ah! Where am I?
_________________________________

Why am I so fancy? What are

you doing? You're ruining my look!
_________________________________

Yeah, well, we'll see

you out there! Good luck!

_________________________________

-You sure got nice teeth, Jack Black.

-Yeah.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)

-We're here!
_________________________________

-Start the show!

-Ready for some kind of entertainment!
_________________________________

All right, good luck, everyone,

and cue Scooter.
_________________________________

Okay, we go live in three, two...
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
_________________________________

please welcome your host,
Kermit the Frog.
_________________________________

It's The Muppet Telethon,
_________________________________

with our very special guest,

Mr. Jack Black! Yay!
_________________________________

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) It's time to play the music
_________________________________

It's time to light the lights
_________________________________

It's time to meet the Muppets
on The Muppet Show tonight

_________________________________
It's time to put on makeup
_________________________________

It's time to dress up right
_________________________________

It's time to get things started
_________________________________

Why don't you get things started?
_________________________________

I always dreamed we'd be back here.
_________________________________

Dreams? Those were nightmares!
_________________________________

It's time to get things started

_________________________________
On the most sensational
_________________________________

Inspirational
Celebrational
_________________________________

Muppetational
This is what we call
_________________________________
The Muppet Show

_________________________________
-(HORN PLAYS TARZAN YELL)

-Ladies and gentlemen,
_________________________________

welcome to The Muppet Telethon!

_________________________________
We have Muppets standing by
to take your calls.
_________________________________

-Yes, we are.

-Hi. Hello.
_________________________________

Could I have a large pizza

with ham and...
_________________________________

Yes, uh, and, boy, do we have

a wonderful show for you
_________________________________

with our special guest, Mr. Jack Black!
_________________________________

-(GRUNTING)

-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

I'm being held captive by these weirdos!
_________________________________

Now you know how we've felt
for the past 40 years!
_________________________________

Somebody, anybody, please call

the police. This is real rope!
_________________________________

Man, this 3-D is incredible!
_________________________________

-This is real!
-KERMIT: Oh, and by the way, folks,
_________________________________
we have plenty of room
here in the audience,

_________________________________

so if you'd like to come down
_________________________________

and see the show live...
_________________________________

There's no audience in the theater.

Look, it's totally empty.
_________________________________

Poor Walter.
_________________________________

Maybe we should go back.
_________________________________

No way, Mary.

I've made my choice already.
_________________________________

I just sang a whole song about it.
_________________________________

I wanna stay here with you.
_________________________________

So thank you.
_________________________________

(FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

Ladies and gentlemen,
prepare yourselves

_________________________________

for the Great Gonzo's

most amazing feat ever.
_________________________________

-Head bowling.

-What? No!
_________________________________

-I have not signed off on this!

-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-Drumroll, please.

-(TINKLING)
_________________________________

And a one and a two and a three!
_________________________________

Uh-oh. Ahem! My fingers got stuck.
_________________________________

All part of the act, folks. Uh, stay tuned.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)
-Please, make this end! Please!

_________________________________
This is great. Call 'em.
_________________________________

(PHONE RINGS)
_________________________________

Hello?
_________________________________

You wanna give us some money? Um...
_________________________________

-Say yes!

-Um, yes! We will take that money!
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________
Hey, guys, we got us some money!

_________________________________

Oh, yeah, tickets. Here we are.

Tickets. Thank you.
_________________________________

Uh, five dollars to show your seat.

It's up there somewhere.
_________________________________

-(GONZO SHOUTING)

-Okay, thank you, Gonzo.
_________________________________
Thank you very much.

_________________________________

Ladies and gentlemen,

we will see what happens with,
_________________________________

uh, head bowling

a little later in the show.
_________________________________

Up next is our furry funny man,

Mr. Fozzie Bear! Yay!
_________________________________

-(APPLAUSE)

-Thank you, thank you,
_________________________________
and thank you.
_________________________________

Boy, did I go to a bad
seafood place last night.
_________________________________

The catch of the day was salmonella.

Ah, wocka wocka!
_________________________________
-Okay.

-That joke's like 50 years old!
_________________________________

(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________
FOZZIE: So how 'bout those
shopping centers, huh?

_________________________________

You seen one, you seen a mall! Take it.
_________________________________

-(SOBBING) Make it stop!

-(LAUGHTER)
_________________________________
FOZZIE: Wocka wocka wocka wocka!

JACK: Make it stop! No!

_________________________________

-We're not a team! I'm not with him!
-What is happening?

_________________________________

People are actually watching this?
_________________________________

Deadly! Bring the car!
_________________________________

(SIGHS) What am I gonna do? What

am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?
_________________________________

-(KNOCKING)

-Walter?
_________________________________

Sixty seconds till you're on, Walter.
_________________________________

You ready?
_________________________________

No. Guh! Yes, yes, yes...
_________________________________

Whoopi Goldberg?
_________________________________

Selena Gomez? And... Uh, hi there.
_________________________________

Yeah, look, somebody said there

might be a career opportunity here,
_________________________________

-and something about saving a theater.

-Yes, yes, of course.
_________________________________

I don't really know who you guys are.
_________________________________

My agent just told me to show up.
_________________________________

That's great.
_________________________________

Are you one of the

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
_________________________________

Yes, I am, and let me
show you how you can help.

_________________________________

And don't worry. It's just your
one shot to go on live TV
_________________________________
before millions of people
to prove you have what it takes
_________________________________
to become one of the Muppets.
_________________________________

-Good luck.

-(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Up next, folks, I am proud to present

a brand-new act to the show.
_________________________________

Introducing Walter.
_________________________________

-(FANFARE MUSIC PLAYING)

-(INHALES)
_________________________________

-(SCREAMS)

-(CRASHING)
_________________________________
-FOZZIE: That's not good.

-Uh, it appears that, uh,
_________________________________
Walter has, uh, uh,
stepped out, so it's, uh...
_________________________________

Well, it's back to the days of
yore down at the old barbershop.

_________________________________

-(SINGING) Hello

-(SINGING) Hello
_________________________________

-(SINGING) Hello

-(SINGING) Mee-mee
_________________________________

Oh! (BABBLING)
_________________________________

Mee-mee
_________________________________

Hello

_________________________________
Oh, no! It's a barbershop quartet!

Get me out of here!
_________________________________

(ALL VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

Wait a minute. What are you doing?
_________________________________

-Is that Nirvana?

-With the lights out
_________________________________

Stop it! Stop!
_________________________________

-Here we are now

-Entertain us
_________________________________

You're ruining one of the
greatest songs of all time!
_________________________________

-Mee mee mee mee

-Here we are now
_________________________________

-Entertain us

-Careful around the ears!
_________________________________

-An albino

-A mosquito
_________________________________

-Mee mee mee mo mo

-Ah!
_________________________________

Mee mee mee mee mee mee
_________________________________

Hello, how low?
_________________________________

Yeah
_________________________________

-Yeah

-Ow, that was hot!
_________________________________

Hey! What's going on here?

Why is my body so big?
_________________________________

What'd you do to my voice?

I sound like a chipmunk!
_________________________________

Wait a second.

Did you guys shrink my head?
_________________________________
KERMIT: Ladies and gentlemen,

Jack Black!
_________________________________

Nice work, everybody.

Chickens, you're up next!
_________________________________

It's going rather nicely.

We might just make this.
_________________________________

And now I am
pleased and proud to present
_________________________________

those princesses of poultry,

Camilla and friends!
_________________________________

(MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(CLUCKING MELODICALLY
TO TUNE OF FORGET YOU)
_________________________________

Let's hear it for Camilla

and her farmyard friends!
_________________________________

No, I... I don't know

why I'm not hosting this.
_________________________________

So remember, folks, keep on calling
_________________________________

and you'll help us reach our goal
of ten million dollars by midnight.
_________________________________
And if...
_________________________________

-(GASPING)

-Oh, dear.
_________________________________
Ladies and gentlemen, don't be alarmed.

_________________________________

We will get this sorted out just
_________________________________
as soon as we can. Scooter!

_________________________________

(FIZZLING)
_________________________________

Well, that's that. Nice try, Muppets!
_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)

-(GROWLING)
_________________________________
FOZZIE: Uh, Kermit,
_________________________________
how are we going to raise the rest
of the money with no electricity?

_________________________________
KERMIT: All right,

calm down, everybody.
_________________________________

-Is everybody okay?

-ALL: Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
_________________________________

Well, we can't do the show

without power.
_________________________________

-Huh. Anybody got any bright ideas?

-Not now, Fozzie.
_________________________________

Ten-gauge gator grip.
_________________________________

I love it when you talk shop.

_________________________________

_________________________________

Get back, blast you!

_________________________________

(ROARING)

_________________________________

-Ooh, Chihuahua.

-Zeus!

_________________________________

Come on! Hurry up!

We're shovin' off here!

_________________________________

-Phil!

-(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

Phil, Hercules needs your help!

_________________________________

What does he need me for

when he's got friends like you?

_________________________________

-He won't listen to me.

-Good! He's finally learned something.

_________________________________

Look, I know what I did was wrong,

but this isn't about me.

_________________________________

It's about him.

If you don't help him now, Phil, he'll die.

_________________________________

I need more thunderbolts!

_________________________________

Hephaestus has been captured,

my lord.

_________________________________

Everyone's been captured.

I've been captured!

_________________________________

Hey, hey! Watch the glasses.

_________________________________

Zeusy, I'm home!

_________________________________

Hades. You're behind this!

_________________________________

You are correct, sir!

_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Flea.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

-Hercules!

-Phil.

_________________________________

Come on, kid. Come on. Fight back.

_________________________________

Come on, you can take this bum.

This guy's a pushover. Look at him.

_________________________________

You were right all along, Phil.

_________________________________

Dreams are for rookies.

_________________________________

No, no, no, no, kid.

Givin' up is for rookies.

_________________________________

I came back

'cause I'm not quittin' on ya.

_________________________________

I'm willing to go the distance.

_________________________________

How 'bout you?

_________________________________

(CYCLOPS APPROACHING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Me bite off head!

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

Whoa, baby!

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

Hercules! Look out!

_________________________________

Meg! No!

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

What's happening?

_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

Hades' deal is broken.

_________________________________

He promised I wouldn't get hurt.

_________________________________

Meg.

_________________________________

Why did you...

_________________________________

You didn't have to...

_________________________________

Oh, people always do crazy things

when they're in love.

_________________________________

Oh, Meg.

_________________________________

Meg, I... I...

_________________________________

Are you always this articulate?

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

You haven't got much time.

You can still stop Hades.

_________________________________

I'll watch over her, kid.

_________________________________

You're gonna be all right.

_________________________________

I promise.

_________________________________

(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

Let's go, Pegasus!

_________________________________

_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYS)

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

(MAX YELPS)
_________________________________

Dearly beloved...

_________________________________

(PANTING) Don't worry, Ariel.

We're gonna make it.

_________________________________

We're almost there.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYING
"BRIDAL CHORUS")
_________________________________
(MUSIC CONTINUES)

_________________________________
CORNELIUS: (SINGING)

Let me be your wings

_________________________________
Let me be your only love

_________________________________
Let me take you far beyond the stars

_________________________________

_________________________________

(BOAT HOOTING)
_________________________________

ALL: (CHANTING)

Mardi Gras! Mardi Gras!
_________________________________

Ray! Have you seen Naveen?
_________________________________

Look at you. Where the ring at?
_________________________________

What are you talking about?
_________________________________

Well, if Cap didn't say nothing,

I ain't going to say nothing
_________________________________

because old Ray's sealed up

tight as a drum.
_________________________________

-You ain't getting nothing out of me, no!

-Ray.
_________________________________

Okay, Cap not going to marry Charlotte,

he going to marry you!
_________________________________

Soon as he gets himself kissed

and y'all both turn human,
_________________________________

he's going to find a job,

get you that restaurant...
_________________________________

I said too much, didn't I?
_________________________________

You said just enough, Ray!

Thank you, Evangeline.
_________________________________

(RAY LAUGHS)
_________________________________

(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

He was trying to propose!

That's what all that fumbling was about!
_________________________________

And here I thought all he wanted

was to marry a rich girl!
_________________________________

(RAY EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

What are we looking for again?
_________________________________

You just keep your eyes out

for the biggest, gaudiest float
_________________________________

with a Mardi Gras princess

about to kiss herself a...
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

A frog.
_________________________________

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here tonight
_________________________________

in this fine celebration to join together
_________________________________

this prince and this young woman

in holy matrimony.
_________________________________

Oh, no. This can't be right, darling.
_________________________________

And how you can still be a frog?

Mama Odie, she...
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

I know what we seen with our eyes,
_________________________________

but if we just go back that way,
_________________________________

we're going to find out

your fairy tale come true.
_________________________________

Just because you wish for something

doesn't make it true.
_________________________________

It's like my Evangeline always said

to me...
_________________________________

Evangeline is nothing but a star, Ray!
_________________________________

A big ball of hot air

a million miles from here!
_________________________________

Open your eyes now,

before you get hurt.
_________________________________

She just speaking out a broken heart.

That's all that is.
_________________________________

Come on, Evangeline.
_________________________________

We're going to show chére the truth!
_________________________________

If any of you objects to the union

of these two people,
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING WICKEDLY)
_________________________________

speak now or forever hold your peace.
_________________________________

Me! Me! I object!
_________________________________

REVEREND: Do you, Prince Naveen,

take Charlotte to be your wife?
_________________________________

Cap, what you doing, son?
_________________________________

(SHOUTS)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

REVEREND: ...as you both shall live?
_________________________________

What? I do! Yes, I'm for it.
_________________________________

REVEREND RAT: Uh, Mr. Mole,
do you take this woman...

_________________________________
to be your lawful wedded, uh, wife?
_________________________________

Let me be your wings

_________________________________
Let me lift you high above

_________________________________
Everything we're dreaming of

will soon be ours

_________________________________
MR. MOLE: (CLEARS THROAT) I do.

_________________________________
Yes, do you, Eric, take Vanessa

to be your lawfully-wedded wife

_________________________________

for as long as you both shall live?

_________________________________

I do.
_________________________________
(SCUTTLE SQUAWKS)

_________________________________

And do you...

_________________________________

-(SQUAWKING)
-(CHIRPING)

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

-(SCREAMS)

-(BARKS)

_________________________________

Oh!

_________________________________

(SEALS BARK)

_________________________________

Oh! Oh! Oh!

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

Then by the power...

_________________________________

(URSULA'S VOICE) Get away from me,
you slimy...

_________________________________

-Oh!

-(BARKS)

_________________________________

-Do you, Charlotte LaBouff...

-Is that you, Cap?
_________________________________
NAVEEN: Ray! Get me out of this box!

_________________________________

I can't hear you!

I'm going to get you out this box!
_________________________________

...to keep yourself only unto him,

as long as you both shall live?
_________________________________

Oh, I do.

_________________________________

Anything that you desire

_________________________________
Anything at all

_________________________________
And, uh... Uh, Thumbelina,
_________________________________
do you take this, uh, mole...

_________________________________
to be your lawful wedded, uh, husband?
_________________________________

THUMBELINA: Do not forget me.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Forget-me-nots.
_________________________________

Oh, I'll never forget you. Never.
_________________________________

Never, never.
_________________________________

REVEREND RAT: Speak up.
_________________________________

Never.
_________________________________

-What?

-Never.
_________________________________

-I beg your pardon?

-I cannot marry Mr. Mole.
_________________________________

(SPECTATORS GASP)
_________________________________

-I don't love him.

-What?
_________________________________

Thumbelina!

_________________________________

REVEREND: And so, by the power

vested in me by the state of Louisiana,
_________________________________

I now pronounce you man and...
_________________________________

Prince Naveen!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS ANGRILY)
_________________________________

(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Goodness gracious! Are you all right?
_________________________________

I just need a moment

to compose myself.
_________________________________
CHARLOTTE: Cheese and crackers!

_________________________________
NAVEEN: Lawrence,

why are you doing this?
_________________________________

As payback for

all those years of humiliation.
_________________________________

Get your royal rump back on that

wedding cake and finish this deal!
_________________________________

What's he doing? Stop him!
_________________________________
LAWRENCE: Give it to me!

_________________________________

I've got it! It got me, too.
_________________________________

-Let go of that!

-Stay out of sight!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Come on. Come on.
_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

(YELLING)
_________________________________

-You!

-I marry her.
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________
I no marry you. I go home.
_________________________________

-No! (GRUNTING)

-Go away!
_________________________________

Aah!
_________________________________

-After her!
-(PANTING)

_________________________________

-(BARKS)

-Oh!
_________________________________
(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

-Oh!

-(CLICKING)

_________________________________

-(SQUAWKS)

-Oh, why, you little...

_________________________________

(BARKS)

_________________________________

(UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

Ray?
_________________________________

Hey, why did you stop?
_________________________________

(LOUIS ROARING)
_________________________________

MAN: He's a real gator!
_________________________________

(RAY SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
_________________________________

Ray?
_________________________________

This proves what we saw

ain't what we thought we saw!
_________________________________

-What is this?

-It's a voodoo hayacall.
_________________________________

The Shadow Man,

he been using it for the...
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

You can't let Shadow Man get this,

no matter what!
_________________________________

Now run, girl! Run!
_________________________________

Don't make me light my butt!
_________________________________

(SHRIEKING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

I'm going to get you!

I got a lot more of me! Come here, you!
_________________________________

(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
_________________________________

Who's next?
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(SQUISHES)
_________________________________

Ray!
_________________________________

Ray?

_________________________________

-(GROWLS)

-(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(ARIEL'S VOICE VOCALIZING)

_________________________________

Huh? (GROANS)

_________________________________

(VOCALIZING CONTINUES)

_________________________________

(VOCALIZES)

_________________________________

Ariel?

_________________________________

-Eric.

-(BARKS)

_________________________________

You... You can talk?

_________________________________

-You're the one.

-Eric, get away from her.

_________________________________

-It was you all the time.

-Eric, I wanted to tell you.

_________________________________
URSULA: Eric, no!

_________________________________

(MOANS)

_________________________________

You're too late! (CACKLES)

_________________________________

You're too late!

_________________________________

-(ALL GASP)

-(CACKLES)

_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-So long, lover boy.

_________________________________

Ariel!

_________________________________

Ha-ha! Hiya, toots.
_________________________________

-I'm not your toots.
-(SQUEALS) Whoa.
_________________________________

-Hey, wait! Wait!

-Thumbelina!
_________________________________

-My wings! My wings!
-(YELLS)
_________________________________

CORNELIUS: Whoa!
_________________________________
(GROANS)
_________________________________

Thumbelina.
_________________________________

GRUNDEL: She marry me!
_________________________________

That's the toad
we've been telling you about.

_________________________________
We meet at last, Mr. Toad.
_________________________________

Fairy prince? No!
_________________________________
-You killed him.
-Aah!

_________________________________

Aah! (GROWLS)
_________________________________

(PANTING) Oh!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Oh! Oh!
_________________________________

The sun. The sun is shining again.
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________
CORNELIUS: Ha!
GRUNDEL: Aah!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Come on.
Show me what you got.
_________________________________

-(CORNELIUS GRUNTS)
-(GRUNDEL LAUGHS)
_________________________________

CORNELIUS: Let me go!
_________________________________

-THUMBELINA: Aah!

-Thumbelina!
_________________________________
(YELLING)
_________________________________
(PANTING)

_________________________________

MR. MOLE: Thumbelina, come back!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING) Ooh.
_________________________________

(ALL SCREAMING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

The paper. It's gone.

_________________________________
Oi.
_________________________________
Get 'em.
_________________________________

I beg your pardon.
_________________________________
Moley! Moley!
_________________________________

Over here.

_________________________________
WINKY: After it.
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Just one more.
_________________________________

There he is. Get him.
_________________________________

Where's Moley?
_________________________________

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Back off, or I'm going to break this thing

into a million pieces!
_________________________________

(MOANS)
_________________________________

(SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

Naveen?
_________________________________

Now, isn't this a whole lot better
_________________________________

than hopping around the bayou

for the rest of your life?
_________________________________

Shadow Man.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Got to hand it to you, Tiana.
_________________________________

When you dream, you dream big.
_________________________________

Just look at this place.
_________________________________

Going to be the crown jewel

of the Crescent City!
_________________________________

And all you got to do

to make this a reality
_________________________________

is hand over

that little old talisman of mine.
_________________________________

No. This is not right.
_________________________________

Come on now, darling.

Think of everything you've sacrificed.
_________________________________

-Girl, all you ever do is work.

-I told y'all she wouldn't come.
_________________________________

Think of all those naysayers

who doubted you.
_________________________________

You ain't never going to get enough

for the down payment.
_________________________________

...little woman of your background,

you're better off where you're at.
_________________________________

And don't forget your poor daddy.
_________________________________

-Now that was one hard-working man.

-MAN: See you in the morning, James.
_________________________________
DR. FACILIER: Double,

sometime triple shifts.
_________________________________

(BONES CRACKING)
_________________________________

Never letting on how bone tired

and beat down he really was.
_________________________________

-TIANA: Daddy!

-Hey, babycakes!
_________________________________
DR. FACILIER:

Shame all that hard work
_________________________________

didn't amount to much more

than a busted-up old gumbo pot
_________________________________

and a dream that

never got off the back porch.
_________________________________

But you?
_________________________________

You can give your poor daddy

everything he ever wanted.
_________________________________

Come on, Tiana. You're almost there.
_________________________________

My daddy never did get

what he wanted.
_________________________________

(ALL LAUGHING)
_________________________________

But he had what he needed.
_________________________________

He had love. He never lost sight of

what was really important.
_________________________________

-Easy with that. Careful.

-And neither will I!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

(LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY)
_________________________________

(TIANA GROANS)
_________________________________

Y'all should have taken my deal.
_________________________________

Now you're going to spend

the rest of your life
_________________________________

being a slimy, little frog.
_________________________________

I've got news for you, Shadow Man.

It's not slime. It's mucus!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

No! No!
_________________________________

How am I ever going to pay back

my debt?
_________________________________

(VOODOO MASKS VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

Friends.
_________________________________

MASKS: (SINGING) Are you ready?
_________________________________

No! I'm not ready at all!

In fact, I got lots more plans.
_________________________________

Are you ready?

_________________________________
This is just a minor setback

in a major operation.
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

As soon as I whip up another spell,

we'll be back in business!
_________________________________

I still got that froggy prince

locked away!
_________________________________

I just need a little more time.
_________________________________

No, please!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

Just a little more time!
_________________________________

I promise I'll pay y'all back! I promise!
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Hush

_________________________________
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(BELL TOLLING)
_________________________________

Prince! Prince Naveen!
_________________________________

Your shy and retiring bride-to-be

is getting antsy!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

Hello, darling.
_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Miss LaBouff! Please, down here!
_________________________________

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am the real Prince Naveen!
_________________________________

(WEAKLY) Of Maldonia.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Did you say "Prince"?
_________________________________

Boys, drag this maggot

down to the parish prison.
_________________________________

I'm completely innocent!

Now, the Shadow Man bamboozled me!
_________________________________

Goodness gracious.

This is so much to absorb.
_________________________________

Let me see if I got this right.
_________________________________

If I kiss you before midnight,

you and Tiana will turn human again?
_________________________________

And then we're gonna

get ourselves married
_________________________________

and live happily ever after, the end!
_________________________________

Yeah, more or less. But remember,
_________________________________

you must give Tiana all the money

she requires for her restaurant.
_________________________________

Because Tiana,
_________________________________

she is my Evangeline.
_________________________________
CHARLOTTE:

Anything you want, sugar.
_________________________________

Pucker up, buttercup.
_________________________________

-TIANA: Wait!

-Tiana?
_________________________________

-Tiana?

-Don't do this.
_________________________________

I have to do this.

And we are running out of time.
_________________________________

I won't let you!
_________________________________

It's the only way to get you your dream!
_________________________________

My dream?
_________________________________

My dream wouldn't be complete
_________________________________

without you in it.
_________________________________

I love you, Naveen.
_________________________________

-Warts and all?

-Warts and all.
_________________________________

(SNIFFLES)
_________________________________

All my life, I read about

true love in fairy tales
_________________________________

and, Tia, you found it!
_________________________________

I'll kiss him. For you, honey.
_________________________________

No marriage required.
_________________________________

(BELL TOLLING)
_________________________________

Oh, my word!

Maybe that old clock's a little fast!
_________________________________

(CHARLOTTE GROANS)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

I'm so sorry.
_________________________________
LOUIS: Tiana! Naveen!

_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

-NAVEEN: Louis, what is it?

-Shadow Man done laid poor Ray low.
_________________________________

-Ray.

-He's hurting awful bad.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Hey, chére,
_________________________________

-how come you're still...

-We're staying frogs, Ray.
_________________________________

And we're staying together.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(SPEAKS FRENCH)
_________________________________

I like that very much.
_________________________________

Evangeline likes that, too.

_________________________________

(PLAYING SOLEMN TUNE)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________
(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

(ALL EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-Ahem.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

-La la la la la la la

-Mee mee mee mee mee
_________________________________
TEX: What? How'd they
get the power back?

_________________________________

Mm-mm-mm.
_________________________________

We're gonna have to get up on that roof
_________________________________
and shut 'em down for good!

Bolt cutters!
_________________________________

Bolt cutters.
_________________________________

Deadly! You come with me.
_________________________________

That's it. (GROWLS)
_________________________________

-(GROWLS)

-To the end of the Muppets!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Deadly! What are you doing?
_________________________________

Enough!
_________________________________

Just because I have a terrifying name
_________________________________

and an evil English accent,
_________________________________

does not preclude the
fact that in my heart,
_________________________________

I am a Muppet, not a Moopet!
_________________________________

Looks like it's I who
will have the last laugh!
_________________________________

-What does that mean?

-It's an idiom, you idiot,
_________________________________

because you cannot laugh! Ha-ha!
_________________________________

-(CRASHING)

-Oopsie.
_________________________________

-(DEADLY LAUGHS)
-Deadly.

_________________________________

Now that's a maniacal laugh for you!
_________________________________

_________________________________

Hup, two, three, four.

Come on, everybody!

_________________________________

-I can't hear you!

-Oh, oh!

_________________________________

I swear to you, Hades,

when I get out of this...

_________________________________

I'm the one giving orders now, bolt boy.

_________________________________

And I think I'm gonna like it here.

_________________________________

HERCULES:

Don't get too comfortable, Hades!

_________________________________

(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

Hercules!

_________________________________

This ought to even the odds!

_________________________________

Yeah, Hercules! Thank you, man.

_________________________________

Get them!

_________________________________

Whoa! Hey!

_________________________________

No! Get him! Not me! Him!

_________________________________

Follow the fingers! Him!

The yutz with the horse.

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

Thank you, my boy.

_________________________________

Nice horsey! My intentions were pure!

I really was attracted to you.

_________________________________

(BOTH YELLING)

_________________________________

Throw!

_________________________________

Hah!

_________________________________

Now watch your old man work!

_________________________________

Uh-oh.

_________________________________

Guys, get your titanic rears in gear

and kick some Olympian butt!

_________________________________

Whoa, is my hair out?

_________________________________

(SNICKERING)

_________________________________

-Hah! (LAUGHING)

-Whoo-hoo!

_________________________________

Thanks a ton, Wonderboy.

_________________________________

But at least

I've got one swell consolation prize,

_________________________________

a friend of yours who's dying to see me.

_________________________________

-(WHINNIES)

-Meg.

_________________________________

Meg.

_________________________________

(CRYING) Meg, no.

_________________________________

(MOURNFUL NEIGHING)

_________________________________

Oh, I'm sorry, kid.

_________________________________

(SIGHS) There's some things

you just can't change.

_________________________________

Yes, I can.

_________________________________

_________________________________

And now, which will it be?

The pen or the plank?

_________________________________

Captain Hook,

we will never join your crew.

_________________________________

As you wish. Ladies first, me dear.

_________________________________

-Goodbye, boys.

-Goodbye, Wendy.

_________________________________

-Be brave, John.

-I shall strive to, Wendy.

_________________________________

-Goodbye, Michael.

-Goodbye, Wendy.

_________________________________

Come on! Get along over there!

_________________________________

Get going! Don't give us no trouble!

_________________________________

Go on! Go on! Get it over with!

_________________________________

-Move along!

-The captain's waitin'!

_________________________________
MICHAEL: Wendy! Wendy!

_________________________________

Captain, no splash.

_________________________________

Not a sound.

_________________________________

-Not a bloomin' ripple.

-It's a jinx, that's what it is.

_________________________________
MAN: No splash.
MAN 2: No sign of the wench.

_________________________________
MAN 3: Did you hear a splash?

_________________________________
MAN 4: I'm telling you, mates,

it's a black day.

_________________________________
MAN 5: Mark me words.

We'll all pay for this.

_________________________________

The ship is bewitched.

_________________________________

No splash, captain.

_________________________________

So you want a splash, Mr. Starkey.

_________________________________

I'll give you a splash!

_________________________________

-Who's next?

-PETER: You're next, Hook!

_________________________________

-This time you've gone too far!

-It's Pan! Peter Pan!

_________________________________

-And Wendy!

-It can't be!

_________________________________

It's his blinkin' ghost what's talkin'!

_________________________________

Say your prayers, Hook.

_________________________________

I'll show you this ghost

has blood in his veins.

_________________________________

I'll run him through!

_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

Take that!

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

Curse this hook!

_________________________________

Come on, everybody!

_________________________________

Hurry, Michael! Hurry!

_________________________________
HOOK: Don't stand there, you bilge rats!

_________________________________

Get those scurvy brats!

_________________________________
MAN: After the brats, men!

_________________________________

(ALL CLAMOURING)

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

This is no mere boy.

_________________________________

'Tis some fiend fighting me.

A flying devil!

_________________________________

-Hold your fire.

-Get 'em!

_________________________________

Steady, men. Steady.

_________________________________

-Club 'em with the marline.

-Fire!

_________________________________

-I'll crack their bloomin' skulls!

-Let me at 'em!

_________________________________

Down, you blackguard!

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)

_________________________________

(MEN SCREAMING)

_________________________________

BOYS: Hurray!

_________________________________

-Right through, Michael.

-Yea, Bear Killer!

_________________________________
SLIGHTLY: Yea for Bear Killer!

_________________________________

Now!

_________________________________

(SLURPS)

_________________________________

(BELCHES)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Hey, Gary, Mary, how'd
you guys get here so fast?
_________________________________

We traveled by map.

We thought it'd be quicker.
_________________________________

Hey, I'm sorry I bailed. I just...
_________________________________

I realized you don't let
the most important person
_________________________________
in your world slip away.
_________________________________

-Hey, Scooter?

-Yeah?
_________________________________

Uh, could you do me a favor

and take over hosting duty?
_________________________________

But, chief, I don't go onstage.
_________________________________

Well, just do what I do.

Pretend that the audience is naked.
_________________________________

Yeah, but, I... Yeah-ha-ha-ha.
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

Uh, Miss Piggy?
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________

(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________

Uh... Ha-ha. You are all naked.
_________________________________
Uh... Well, sorta.

_________________________________

Okay. Great!

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
_________________________________

please welcome, a real hero...
_________________________________
MISS PIGGY: You saved it?
_________________________________

After all this time?
_________________________________

Oh, Kermie.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT, STUTTERS)

I guess I'm not that good
_________________________________

at saying this kind of stuff.
_________________________________

-Yes, Kermie?

-Well...
_________________________________

over the last week, um, I realized that...

_________________________________

I... I miss you.
_________________________________

And I need you.
_________________________________

Uh, and maybe you don't need the...
_________________________________

The whole world to love you.
_________________________________

Maybe you just need one person.
_________________________________

It's time for our song,
_________________________________

and if we don't raise the money tonight,
_________________________________

it might be the
last time we sing together.
_________________________________

-(ALL MURMURING)

-And...
_________________________________
Well, are you ready?
_________________________________

-Oh, Kermie.

-Hmm?
_________________________________

(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________

(BANJO PLAYING)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Why are there so many
_________________________________

Songs about rainbows?

_________________________________
And what's on the other side?

_________________________________
Rainbows are visions
_________________________________

But only illusions
_________________________________

And rainbows have nothing to hide

_________________________________
So we've been told

_________________________________
And some choose to believe it

_________________________________
I know they're wrong
Wait and see

_________________________________
Someday we'll find it
_________________________________

The rainbow connection
_________________________________

The lovers, the dreamers and me

_________________________________
All of us under its spell

_________________________________
We know that it's probably magic

_________________________________
Have you been half asleep
_________________________________

And have you heard voices?

_________________________________
I've heard them calling my name

_________________________________
(PANTING)
_________________________________

-Hey, these are yours, man.

-Huh?
_________________________________

I kept 'em for ya.
_________________________________

-Drum.

-No drum.
_________________________________

-Drum!

-No drum!
_________________________________

-Drum! Drum!

-No drum! No drum!
_________________________________

(SHOUTING)
_________________________________

You know what to do.
_________________________________

I've heard it too many times
to ignore it
_________________________________

It's something that
I'm supposed to be
_________________________________

Someday we'll find it

_________________________________
The rainbow connection

_________________________________
The lovers
The dreamers and me

_________________________________
(VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

Drum! Drum, drum! Drum!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

You still got it, man!
_________________________________

-Piggy?

-Hmm?
_________________________________

Will you stay... For me?
_________________________________

-For you, Kermie?

-Yeah.
_________________________________

Of course!
_________________________________

Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________

(TICKING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

What's this?
_________________________________

Open up!
_________________________________

-What's the password?

-What?
_________________________________

-(CHUCKLING) Nope.

-Open this door!
_________________________________

Not even close!
_________________________________

You have three seconds! One...
_________________________________

Two...
_________________________________

Three.
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

Frying pans! Who knew, right?
_________________________________

(THUDDING)
_________________________________

(ALL YELLING)
_________________________________

(BELLOWING)
_________________________________

(ALL SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(SOLDIERS YELLING)
_________________________________

-Head down.

-Head down.
_________________________________

-Arms in.

-Arms in.
_________________________________

-Knees apart.

-Knees apart. Knees apart?
_________________________________

Why do I need

to keep my knees apart...
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

(NICKERS)
_________________________________

Max! You brought them here?
_________________________________

Thank you.
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

No, really. Thank you.
_________________________________

I feel maybe this whole time,
_________________________________

we've just been misunderstanding

one another,
_________________________________

and we're really just...
_________________________________

You're right, we should go.
_________________________________

(SOLDIERS YELLING)
_________________________________

Max?
_________________________________

Max!
_________________________________

-Max!

-(NEIGHING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(NEIGHING)
_________________________________

(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Okay, Max.

Let's see how fast you can run.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Uh, thank you, everybody.
_________________________________

Uh, thank you, all.
_________________________________

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
_________________________________

it's almost midnight and we haven't

quite reached our target yet,
_________________________________

but, uh, if you'll all just stick around,
_________________________________

we'll be right back with our final act.
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: The Muppet Telethon

will return after these messages.

_________________________________
(CHEERING)
_________________________________

Walter? Walter, where are you, buddy?
_________________________________

Listen, everybody, the show ran short,
_________________________________
and we don't have
anything else planned.
_________________________________

We need one last act to bring us home.
_________________________________

I'm gonna go check on Jack Black

and see if he has any ideas.
_________________________________

You guys see if you can
come up with something.
_________________________________

We have two minutes! Two minutes!
_________________________________

-Think, think, think!

-FOZZIE: What am I thinking?
_________________________________

_________________________________

-IAGO: Puppet ruler want a cracker?

-(SULTAN MOANING)

_________________________________

Here's your cracker. Shove them

all the way down your throat.

_________________________________

Here. Have lots.

_________________________________

Stop it. Jafar, leave him alone.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

It pains me to see you

reduced to this, Jasmine.

_________________________________

A beautiful desert bloom

such as yourself

_________________________________

should be on the arm of the most

powerful man in the world.

_________________________________

What do you say, my dear?

_________________________________

Why, with you as my queen...

_________________________________

-Never.

-(ENRAGED GROWL)

_________________________________

I'll teach you some respect.

_________________________________

(GASPING)

_________________________________

No. Genie.

_________________________________

I have decided to make my final wish.

_________________________________

I wish for Princess Jasmine

_________________________________

to fall desperately in love with me.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Poor little princess.

_________________________________

It's not you I'm after.

I've a much bigger fish to...

_________________________________

-Ursula, stop!

-Hmph!

_________________________________

Why, King Triton!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
How are you?

_________________________________

-Let her go!

-Not a chance, Triton! She's mine now!

_________________________________

-We made a deal.

-Daddy, I'm sorry! I...

_________________________________

I didn't mean to! I didn't know!

_________________________________

(URSULA LAUGHS)

_________________________________

You see?

_________________________________

The contract's legal, binding

and completely unbreakable,

_________________________________ 
even for you.

_________________________________

Of course, I always was a girl

with an eye for a bargain.

_________________________________

The daughter of the great sea king
_________________________________

is a very precious commodity.

_________________________________

But I might be willing

to make an exchange

_________________________________

for someone even better.

_________________________________

Ah, Master, there are a few addendas,

some quid pro quos...

_________________________________

Don't talk back to me, you big blue lout.

_________________________________

You will do what I order you to do, slave.

_________________________________

JASMINE: Jafar.

_________________________________

I never realised how

incredibly handsome you are.

_________________________________

Mmm. That's better.

_________________________________

Now, pussycat,

_________________________________

tell me more about myself.

_________________________________

You're tall, dark,

_________________________________

well dressed...

_________________________________

AI. AI, little buddy.

_________________________________

Shh.

_________________________________

AI, I can't help you.

_________________________________

I work for Señor Psychopath now.

What are you gonna do?

_________________________________

Hey, I'm a street rat, remember?

I'll improvise.

_________________________________

JASMINE: Cute little gaps

between your teeth.

_________________________________

Go on.

_________________________________

And your beard is so twisted.

_________________________________

-You've stolen my heart.

-(GASPING) Jafar...

_________________________________

-(IAGO MUMBLING)

-And the street rat?

_________________________________

What street rat?

_________________________________

-(CLATTERING)

-(GASPING)

_________________________________

(GASPING)

_________________________________

BOTH: Yech!
_________________________________

_________________________________

Eric, what are you doing?

_________________________________

Grim, I lost her once.

I'm not gonna lose her again!

_________________________________

Now, do we have a deal?

_________________________________

Ha! It's done, then!

_________________________________

-(URSULA LAUGHS)

-No! Oh, no!

_________________________________

Your Majesty.

_________________________________

Daddy.

_________________________________

-At last.

-ARIEL: No.

_________________________________

It's mine.

_________________________________

(CACKLES)

_________________________________

You!

_________________________________

You monster!

_________________________________

Don't fool with me, ya little brat!

_________________________________

Contract or no, I'll blast... Ow!

_________________________________

-Why, you little fool.

-Eric! Eric, look out!

_________________________________

After him!

_________________________________

(PANTS)

_________________________________

Come on!

_________________________________

Ow!

_________________________________

Say goodbye to your sweetheart.

_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)

_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAM)

_________________________________

Babies! My poor little poopsies.

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________
(GROWLS DEEPLY)

_________________________________

_________________________________
(SOBBING)
_________________________________
(MICE STRAINING)
_________________________________

Us is coming, Cinderelly.
_________________________________
-I can get you out.
-CINDERELLA: You've got the key!
_________________________________

How did you ever manage to... (GASPS)
_________________________________

Lucifer!
_________________________________
Let him go, Lucifer.
_________________________________

Please, let him go.
_________________________________

-Let him go.

-Let him go!
_________________________________
Let him go. Let him out, your hear?
_________________________________
Lucify, you...
_________________________________
(YOWLING)
_________________________________

Bruno. Yes, Bruno!
_________________________________

Quick, get Bruno. Get Bruno!
_________________________________
(TWEETING)
_________________________________
(WHINNYING)
_________________________________
(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

Oh! Of all the stupid little idiots.
_________________________________

I'll do it myself.
_________________________________

Get away from me.
_________________________________

I'll make it fit. (STRAINING)
_________________________________

-There.

-It fits.
_________________________________

It fits?
_________________________________
(GASPING) No!
_________________________________

-(SIGHING)
-Oh, Your Grace, I'm dreadfully sorry.
_________________________________

It shan't happen again.
_________________________________

Precisely, madam.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Yes!

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)

_________________________________

Here we go!

_________________________________

What the devil?

_________________________________

Belle, look out!

_________________________________

You guys gotta try this thing.

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

Up here, you scurvy scum.

_________________________________

Now!

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(WHOOPING)

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

Oh! Hmm?

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(WHIMPERING)

_________________________________

(CHORTLES EVILLY)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(WHIMPERING)

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

-(LAUGHING)

-Ow! Ow!

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

(BARKING)

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________

(SNARLING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING MANICALLY)

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES WICKEDLY)

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(CHEERING)

_________________________________

And stay out.

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
_________________________________

_________________________________
(PANTING)
_________________________________
(GROWLING)
_________________________________
(MEOWING)
_________________________________

Come on, come on.
Get up, Gus-Gus, get up.
_________________________________

Don't, don't, don't, don't.
_________________________________

Let go, let go.
_________________________________

_________________________________

That was...

_________________________________

You!

_________________________________

How many times

do I have to kill you, boy?

_________________________________

Get the lamp.

_________________________________

No!

_________________________________

Ah, ah, ah, Princess. Your time is up.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

Jasmine.

_________________________________

Oh, nice shot, Jaf...

_________________________________

Don't toy with me.

_________________________________

Abu!

_________________________________

JAFAR: Things are unravelling

fast now, boy.

_________________________________

(JAFAR LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Get the point?

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(STRAINING)

_________________________________

I'm just getting warmed up.

_________________________________

Eric, you've gotta get away from here.

_________________________________

No, I won't leave you.

_________________________________

(CACKLES)

_________________________________

(GUTTURAL LAUGHTER)

_________________________________

You pitiful, insignificant fools!

_________________________________

Look out!

_________________________________

Now I am the ruler of all the ocean!

_________________________________

The waves obey my every whim!

_________________________________

-Eric!

-(ERIC SCREAMS)

_________________________________

The sea and all its spoils

bow to my power!

_________________________________

Are you afraid to fight me yourself,

you cowardly snake?

_________________________________

A snake, am I?

_________________________________

Perhaps you'd like to see

how snakelike I can be.

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(SINGING)

Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake

_________________________________

Stick that sword into that snake

_________________________________

You stay out of this.

_________________________________

Jafar, Jafar, he's our man.

If he can't do it... Great!

_________________________________

_________________________________

Fly! Fly! Fly! You coward!

_________________________________

Coward? Me?

_________________________________

You wouldn't dare fight

old Hook man-to-man!

_________________________________

You'd fly away like a cowardly sparrow!

_________________________________

Nobody calls Pan a coward and lives!

_________________________________

I'll fight you man-to-man,

one hand behind my back.

_________________________________

-You mean you won't fly?

-No, don't, Peter! It's a trick!

_________________________________

-I give my word, Hook.

-Good, then let's have at it!

_________________________________

Now!

_________________________________

Insolent youth, prepare to die!

_________________________________

Fly! Fly, Peter! Fly!

_________________________________

No! I gave my word.

_________________________________

You're mine, Hook!

_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)

_________________________________

Cleave him to the brisket!

_________________________________

You wouldn't do old Hook in now,

would you, lad?

_________________________________

I'll go away forever.

I'll do anything you say.

_________________________________

Well, all right. If ya say you're a codfish.

_________________________________

-I'm a codfish.

-Louder!

_________________________________

(WAILING) I'm a codfish!

_________________________________

Hurray!

_________________________________

 (SINGING)

Hook is a codfish, a codfish, a codfish

_________________________________

Hook is a codfish...

_________________________________

All right, Hook,

_________________________________

you're free to go, and never return.

_________________________________

 (CROWING LIKE ROOSTER)

_________________________________

Peter!

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

Smee! Smee!

_________________________________

(RINGING)

_________________________________

(SWALLOWS)

_________________________________

Smee!

_________________________________

Smee! Smee!

_________________________________

Smee!

_________________________________

Captain!

_________________________________

Captain! Captain!
_________________________________

_________________________________

JASMINE: Aladdin.

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

Jasmine, hang on.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING) You little fool.

_________________________________

You thought you could defeat

the most powerful being on Earth.

_________________________________

Squeeze him, Jafar.

Squeeze him like a... Awk!

_________________________________

Without the genie, boy, you're nothing.

_________________________________

The genie. The genie.

_________________________________

The genie has more power

than you'll ever have.

_________________________________

What?

_________________________________

He gave you your power.

He can take it away.

_________________________________

AI, what are you doing?

Why are you bringing me into this?

_________________________________

Face it, Jafar.

You're still just second best.

_________________________________

You're right.

_________________________________

His power does exceed my own.

_________________________________

But not for long.

_________________________________

Eric!

_________________________________

(PANTS)

_________________________________

Oh! Oh!

_________________________________

The boy is crazy.

He's a little punch-drunk.

_________________________________

One too many hits with the snake.

_________________________________

Slave, I make my third wish.

_________________________________

I wish to be an all-powerful genie!

_________________________________

(URSULA CACKLES)

_________________________________

So much for true love!

_________________________________

All right, your wish is my command.

Way to go, AI.

_________________________________

Yes.

_________________________________

Yes!

_________________________________

The power.

_________________________________

-(JAFAR LAUGHS)

-(JASMINE COUGHS)

_________________________________

The absolute power!

_________________________________

_________________________________
(SINGING) Forward, backward,
inward, outward

_________________________________
Here we go again
_________________________________
No one ever loses
and no one can ever win

_________________________________

Backward, forward, outward, inward

Bottom to the top...
_________________________________

Off with her head! Off with her head!
_________________________________

You can't leave a tea party
without having a cup of tea.

_________________________________
But I can't stop now.
_________________________________

But we insist.

You must join us in a cup of tea.

_________________________________

Off with her head!
_________________________________

Mr. Caterpillar. What will I do?
_________________________________

Who are you?
_________________________________

(COUGHS)
_________________________________

There she goes. Don't let her get away.

_________________________________

Off with her head!
_________________________________

_________________________________

-What have you done?

-Trust me.

_________________________________

The universe is mine to command,

to control!

_________________________________

Not so fast, Jafar.

Aren't you forgetting something?

_________________________________

-Huh?

-You wanted to be a genie, you got it.

_________________________________

What?

_________________________________

And everything that goes with it.

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)

_________________________________

-No! No!

-I'm gettin' out of here.

_________________________________

ALADDIN:

Phenomenal cosmic powers...

_________________________________

You're the genie. I don't want...

_________________________________

Itty bitty living space.

_________________________________

AI, you little genius, you.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Get up.

_________________________________

Get up.

_________________________________

What's the matter, Beast?

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

Too kind and gentle to fight back?

_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

BELLE: No!

_________________________________

(NEIGHING)

_________________________________

-Belle.

-No, Gaston, don't.

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

Let's go, Philippe.

_________________________________

(NEIGHING)

_________________________________

(GROWLING)

_________________________________

Come on out and fight!

_________________________________

Were you in love with her, Beast?

_________________________________

Did you honestly think she'd want you

_________________________________

when she had someone like me?

_________________________________

It's over, Beast! Belle is mine!

_________________________________

Let me go. Let me go.

Please, don't hurt me.

_________________________________

I'll do anything. Anything!

_________________________________

(GASTON WHIMPERING)

_________________________________

Get out.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Walter. Walt!
_________________________________

-Walter!

-Gary?
_________________________________

-Wha... You came back.

-Walter.
_________________________________

What are you doing down here?
_________________________________

They just need one more act.
_________________________________
You gotta get out there
and help those guys.
_________________________________

I can't. What if people laugh at me? I...
_________________________________

I'd rather go back home to Smalltown.

With you.
_________________________________

Look, Walter, you're my brother,
_________________________________

and I'm always gonna love you,
_________________________________

but you belong here, with these guys.
_________________________________

Hey, you're the one

who got Kermit to do this.
_________________________________

You're the one who brought

everyone here together.
_________________________________

You always believe in other people,

but that's easy.
_________________________________

Sooner or later, you gotta

believe in yourself, too,
_________________________________

because that's what growing up is.
_________________________________

It's becoming who you want to be.
_________________________________

You have to try.
_________________________________
Please, Walter.
_________________________________

You're my hero.
_________________________________

(MURMURING)
_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________

Okay, Jack Black's got nothing.

What did you guys come up with?
_________________________________

Uh, Bunsen can set Beaker on fire.
_________________________________

No, no, no, we can't do that.
_________________________________

I could break out the fart shoes.
_________________________________
No, no, no, that will never work!

_________________________________

We're back in three, two...
_________________________________

-(BELL DINGS)

-Oh, no!

_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________
(WHISTLING MOURNFUL TUNE)
_________________________________

It's Walter.
_________________________________

-(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS)

-(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

-(SONG ENDS)

-(APPLAUSE)
_________________________________

Thank you.
_________________________________
He's all grown up.
_________________________________

Oh, that was wonderful!

_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________
KERMIT:

Ladies and gentlemen, Walter!
_________________________________

It looks like we're going
to get our studio back!
_________________________________

This just in, the Muppets are
about to take back their studio.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

Rapunzel, let down your hair!

_________________________________

Beast!

_________________________________

Belle.

_________________________________

Belle?

_________________________________

You came back.

_________________________________

Rapunzel,

I thought I'd never see you again.
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(SCREAMING MUFFLED WARNING)
_________________________________

-(GRUNTS)

-(GROANS)
_________________________________

(MUFFLED SCREAM)

_________________________________

-(THUD)

-(ROARING)

_________________________________

Now look what you've done, Rapunzel.
_________________________________

Oh, don't worry, dear.

Our secret will die with him.
_________________________________

(MUFFLED PROTESTS)
_________________________________
GOTHEL: And as for us...

_________________________________

(SCOFFS)
_________________________________

We are going where no one

will ever find you again.
_________________________________

(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(SNARLING)
_________________________________

-(GOTHEL GRUNTS)

-(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

Rapunzel, really!
_________________________________

Enough already! Stop fighting me!
_________________________________

No! I won't stop!
_________________________________

For every minute of the rest of my life,

I will fight!
_________________________________

I will never stop trying

to get away from you!
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

But if you let me save him,

I will go with you.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING) No! No, Rapunzel.
_________________________________

I'll never run. I'll never try to escape.
_________________________________

Just let me heal him

and you and I will be together,
_________________________________

forever, just like you want.
_________________________________

Everything will be the way it was.
_________________________________

I promise.
_________________________________

Just like you want.
_________________________________

(ENUNCIATING) Just let me heal him.
_________________________________

_________________________________

-(CAR STARTS)

-(TIRES SCREECH)
_________________________________
'80S ROBOT: Help! I've been
mugged. Alerting authorities.

_________________________________

-RECORDED VOICE: We're sorry...

-What happened? Hello?
_________________________________

-Hello?

-Guys, my phone is dead.
_________________________________

News flash! My phone is also dead.

Repeat, my phone is also dead.
_________________________________

Ooh!
_________________________________

(GROANING)

_________________________________

I did it. (GRUNTS) I beat you.
_________________________________

Game over, Kermit. You lost.
_________________________________

-Aw.

-Chicky!
_________________________________

Too late, Muppets. I won!

Turn that thing off!
_________________________________

The show is over!

_________________________________
-(AUDIENCE GASPS)

-Ah! But we were so close!
_________________________________

-(WINDING DOWN)

-(ALL GASP)
_________________________________

-(ALL GROAN)

-Or not.
_________________________________

It kinda makes me feel better, honestly.
_________________________________

I mean, we were nowhere close at all.
_________________________________

You artists formerly

known as the Muppets
_________________________________

are standing on private property.
_________________________________

My private property.
_________________________________

And I'm telling you to leave. Now!
_________________________________

-Ooh.

-(WHIMPERS)

_________________________________

In case you get any ideas

about following us.
_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

Eugene!
_________________________________

(COUGHING)
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

I'm so sorry.

Everything is going to be okay, though.
_________________________________

No, Rapunzel.
_________________________________

I promise. You have to trust me.

Come on. Just breathe.
_________________________________

I can't let you do this.
_________________________________

And I can't let you die.
_________________________________

But if you do then you will die.
_________________________________

Hey. It's going to be all right.

_________________________________

(WEAKLY) Rapunzel.
_________________________________

Wait.

_________________________________

Eugene...
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

(BLUBBERING)
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

What have you done?

What have you done?
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

No! No. No!
_________________________________

(SOBBING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Oh...
_________________________________
-Still locked, you know.

-But the queen. I simply must get out.
_________________________________

-But you are outside.

-What?
_________________________________

See for yourself.

_________________________________

Why, that's me. I'm asleep.

_________________________________
QUEEN: Don't let her get away!
_________________________________

Off with her head!
_________________________________

Alice, wake up! Please wake up, Alice.

_________________________________
Please wake up, Alice.

_________________________________

(ECHOES) Alice, Alice, Alice...
_________________________________

_________________________________

Well, laddies, we saved our skins.
_________________________________

But we did not get the deed.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

No, no, no. Eugene.
_________________________________

(COUGHS)
_________________________________

No! Look at me. I'm right here.

Don't go. Stay with me.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
_________________________________

Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
_________________________________

Rapunzel.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

(WEAKLY) You were my new dream.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES SADLY)
_________________________________

And you were mine.

_________________________________

You...

_________________________________

You came back.

_________________________________

Of course I came back.

I couldn't let them...

_________________________________

Oh, this is all my fault.

_________________________________

If only I'd gotten here sooner.

_________________________________

Maybe it's better... It's better this way.

_________________________________

Don't talk like that.

_________________________________

-You'll be all right.

-(COUGHING)

_________________________________

We're together now.

Everything's going to be fine, you'll see.

_________________________________

At least I got to see you

_________________________________

one last time.
_________________________________

(EXHALES)

_________________________________

(EXHALES)

_________________________________

No. No.

_________________________________

Please. Please. Please don't leave me.

_________________________________

(SOBBING)

_________________________________

I love you.

_________________________________

_________________________________

He's right, everybody.
_________________________________

He won. We gotta go.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(FARTING NOISES)
_________________________________
ROWLF: Ah, not now, Fozzie.

_________________________________
(FART NOISES CEASE)
_________________________________

-I can't believe this.

-I know.
_________________________________
Well, that's that.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(SINGING) Heal what has been hurt

_________________________________
Change the Fates' design

_________________________________
Save what has been lost

_________________________________
Bring back what once was mine

_________________________________
What once was mine

_________________________________
(SOBBING)

_________________________________

This isn't right.
_________________________________
It can't end like this.
_________________________________

But what can we do?

_________________________________

Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

Listen, everybody,
_________________________________
we've got nothing to be ashamed of.
And you know why?
_________________________________

Well, because thanks
to Walter here, we tried.
_________________________________

And if we failed, we failed together,
_________________________________

and to me, that's not failing at all.
_________________________________

And I don't care what anybody says.
_________________________________

And I don't care if no one

believes in us, because I believe.
_________________________________

-I believe in you.

-Huh? Ah.
_________________________________

-And you.

-Me?
_________________________________

And you.
_________________________________

You know, what's important

isn't this building or a name.
_________________________________

It's each other. So I say, fine,
_________________________________

let's just start at the bottom
and work our way back up to the top.
_________________________________

-ALL: Yeah.

-Let's all walk out through these doors
_________________________________

with our heads held high. As a family.
_________________________________

-Because that's what we are.

-ALL: Yeah. Yeah.
_________________________________
(SIGHING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

(PANTING, COUGHING)
_________________________________
Ah! Ooh!
_________________________________

Oh! The sun!
_________________________________

JACQUIMO: (SINGING)

And always follow

_________________________________
Your heart

_________________________________
Jacquimo, it's you!
_________________________________

Of course. C'est moi.

_________________________________
Oh, Thumbelina.
_________________________________
I found it. I have found it.

I found the Vale of the Fairies!
_________________________________

-Oh, Jacquimo.

-No, no. Listen. It is true.
_________________________________

I talk to the rabbit who talk to the fox...

_________________________________

who talk to the deer who know for sure.

_________________________________

You see... I show you. Jump on.
_________________________________
-Hang on!

-No, no. Jacquimo!
_________________________________

(JACQUIMO HUMMING)
_________________________________
(HUMMING CONTINUES)

_________________________________
We go find us a fairy prince.
_________________________________

Oh, that's impossible.
_________________________________

Ho-ho! You are wrong.
_________________________________

Jacquimo, I nearly made
the biggest mistake of my life.

_________________________________

(JACQUIMO
CONTINUES HUMMING)
_________________________________
I nearly said yes to the mole.
_________________________________

There's the mountain looks like a turtle.

_________________________________
But... Well, I don't love the mole.
_________________________________
(HUMMING)
_________________________________

Ah. We are here. We are here.
_________________________________

Hello, hello, hello! (ECHOING)
_________________________________
Fairies! (ECHOING)
_________________________________

This is it.
_________________________________

This?
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) It just looks like

a patch of ordinary weeds.
_________________________________

Sing, Thumbelina. Sing!
_________________________________

Oh, Jacquimo, please,
can you take me home?
_________________________________

Oh! Sing!
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(SINGING) You will be my wings
_________________________________

You will be my only love
_________________________________

You will take me far beyond the stars

_________________________________
Jacquimo, this is silly.
_________________________________
This is a weed patch.
_________________________________

This is the Vale of the Fairies.
_________________________________

Take me home.
_________________________________
Please.
_________________________________

(SINGING) Let me be your wings

Like that.
_________________________________
Sing. Like that.
_________________________________

You will lift me high above

_________________________________
Oh-ho! Magnifique.
_________________________________

Everything we're dreaming of

will soon be ours

_________________________________
Oh-ho!
_________________________________
Incroyable.
_________________________________

Anything that we desire
_________________________________

Anything at all
_________________________________

Every day you'll take me higher

_________________________________
Let's be practical.
_________________________________

This isn't the Vale of the Fairies...
_________________________________

and Cornelius is never coming back.
_________________________________

And I'll never let you fall

_________________________________
You. It's you.
_________________________________
Cornelius, you're alive!

_________________________________

Belle, it's me.

_________________________________

(EXHALES)
_________________________________

Rapunzel?
_________________________________

(GASPS) Eugene?
_________________________________

Did I ever tell you

I've got a thing for brunettes?
_________________________________

(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Eugene!
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)

_________________________________

It is you.
_________________________________

_________________________________
TOAD: Ahem!
_________________________________

Well done, Thaddeus.

-ALL: Hip, hip, hooray!

_________________________________

_________________________________

-(CHEERING)

-(GASPING)
_________________________________

(CHANTING)

Muppets, Muppets, Muppets!
_________________________________

(CHANTING)
Muppets, Muppets, Muppets!
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) All right.
_________________________________

-Wow.

-Wow.
_________________________________

-(LAUGHS)

-Hey, where's Walter?
_________________________________

See? Your fans, they love you guys!
_________________________________

Hey, Walter. Aren't you gonna join us?
_________________________________
FOZZIE: Yeah! Come on!
ROWLF: Come on, Walter!

_________________________________

-Come on, Walter!

-Yes. Come!
_________________________________

What're you waiting for, buddy?

Get over there.
_________________________________

Yeah, go ahead.
_________________________________

(CHEERING)
_________________________________

CROWD: (CHANTING) Muppets!
Muppets! Muppets!
_________________________________

_________________________________

Thumbelina, will you marry me?
_________________________________

I will.
_________________________________

Wings.
_________________________________
I have wings.
_________________________________

My very own wings!

_________________________________

_________________________________

-Ahh!

-(MEOWS)

_________________________________

JAFAR: Get your blasted beak

out of my face.

_________________________________

-IAGO: Oh, shut up, you moron.

-Don't tell me to shut up.

_________________________________

Allow me.

_________________________________

Ten thousand years in a

Cave of Wonders ought to chill him out.

_________________________________

(IAGO YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

_________________________________

JAFAR: Shut up!

_________________________________

(ALL MOAN)

_________________________________

(MURMURING)

_________________________________

_________________________________

It wasn't too long before word got back
_________________________________
to Christopher Robin and the others
that Tigger was in trouble.

_________________________________
Hello, Pooh. Hello, Piglet. What's up?
_________________________________

-Tigger and Roo are up.

-Oh, my goodness.
_________________________________

Roo, how did you get way up there?
_________________________________

Easy, Mama. We bounced up.
_________________________________

Oh, gracious. Do be careful, dear.
_________________________________

I'm all right, Mama, but Tigger's stuck.
_________________________________

Oh, what a shame. That's too bad.
_________________________________

No, that's good.
_________________________________
You see, he can't
bounce anybody up there.
_________________________________

Oh, dear! We'll just have

to get him down, somehow.
_________________________________

Down? Down? Do we have to?
_________________________________

Come on, everyone.

Let's hold the corner of my coat.
_________________________________

You're first, Roo. Jump!
_________________________________

Try not to fall too fast, dear.
_________________________________

Whee!
_________________________________

Oh, thank goodness.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Gee, that was fun!
_________________________________

Come on, Tigger. It doesn't hurt. Jump!
_________________________________

You're next, Tigger.
_________________________________
-Jump!

-(GASPS) Jump?
_________________________________

Tiggers don't jump. They bounce.
_________________________________

Then bounce down.
_________________________________

Don't be ri-dic-cour-ous.

Tiggers only bounce up!
_________________________________

You can climb down, Tigger.
_________________________________

But tiggers can't climb down,

because their tails get in the way.
_________________________________

Hooray! That settles it.
_________________________________

If he won't jump

and he can't climb down,
_________________________________

then we'll just have to

leave him up there forever!
_________________________________

Forever? (SOBBING)
_________________________________

If I ever get out of this,

I promise never to bounce again. Never!
_________________________________

I heard that, Tigger.
_________________________________
He promised!

Did you hear him promise?
_________________________________

I heard him. I heard him!

You heard him, didn't you?

_________________________________

NARRATOR: (CHUCKLES)

Well, Tigger, your bouncing

_________________________________

really got you into trouble this time.

_________________________________
Say, who are you?
_________________________________

I'm the narrator.

_________________________________
Please, for goodness sakes,

narrate me down from here.
_________________________________

Very well. Hold on tight.

_________________________________
Ooh, ooh. Whoo!
_________________________________

CHRISTOPHER: You can let go, Tigger.

_________________________________

(SOBBING) Never.

_________________________________

NARRATOR: But, Tigger,

look for yourself.

_________________________________

You're perfectly safe.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
What did I tell you, Tigger?

_________________________________
Come on. Back we go.

_________________________________
(YELLS)
_________________________________
Oh! Good old terra firma. (KISSES)
_________________________________

Say, I'm so happy, I feel like bouncing.
_________________________________

Uh-uh-uh! You promised. You promised.
_________________________________

Oh, I did, didn't I?
_________________________________

You mean, I can't ever bounce again?
_________________________________

Never!
_________________________________

Never?
_________________________________

Not even just one teensy,
weensy bounce?
_________________________________

Not even a smidgen of a bounce.
_________________________________

Oh, the poor dear. Oh, that's too bad.
_________________________________

Christopher Robin,

I like the old, bouncy Tigger best.
_________________________________

So do I, Roo.
_________________________________

-I do, too.

-Me, too!
_________________________________

Of course, we all do.

Don't you agree, Rabbit?
_________________________________

-I... I...

-Well, Rabbit?
_________________________________

Well, I... I...
_________________________________

That is, uh... Uh, what I mean...
_________________________________

Well?
_________________________________
I...
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Oh, all right.
_________________________________

I guess I like the old Tigger better, too.
_________________________________

Oh, boy! You mean, I can have
my bounce back? Hoo, hoo, hoo!
_________________________________

Come on, Rabbit.

Let's you and me bounce.
_________________________________

Good heavens! Me bounce?
_________________________________

Why, certainly!

Look, you've got the feet for it.
_________________________________

-I have?

-Sure. Come on, try it.
_________________________________

It makes you feel just great!
_________________________________

Well, say, it does, doesn't it?
_________________________________

Come on, everybody. Bounce!

_________________________________

TIGGER: Come on, bounce.
_________________________________
Hoo, hoo, hoo!

_________________________________
(SINGING) The wonderful thing
about tiggers
_________________________________

is tiggers are wonderful things
_________________________________

Their tops are made out of the rubber

their bottoms are made out of springs
_________________________________

They're bouncy trouncy flouncy

pouncy fun, fun, fun, fun, fun
_________________________________

But the most wonderful thing

about tiggers is I'm the only one
_________________________________

I'm the only one

_________________________________
(PURRING)
_________________________________
_________________________________
You are the only ladies
in the household I hope... I presume.
_________________________________
-There's no one else, Your Grace.
-Quite so.
_________________________________
-Good day. Good day.
-CINDERELLA: Your Grace?
_________________________________
Your Grace, please, wait.
_________________________________
May I try it on?
_________________________________
STEPMOTHER: Pay no attention.
DRIZELLA: It's Cinderella.
_________________________________
-From the kitchen.
-Ridiculous.
_________________________________
She's out of her mind.
_________________________________
Just an imaginative child.
_________________________________
Madam,
my orders were "every maiden."
_________________________________
Come, my child.
_________________________________
Oh, no.
_________________________________
No, no, no! Oh, no!
_________________________________
Oh, this is terrible.
_________________________________
The King, what will he say?
_________________________________
What will he do?
_________________________________
Perhaps, if it would help...
_________________________________
No, no. Nothing can help now. Nothing.
_________________________________
But, you see, I have the other slipper.
_________________________________
(ALL CHEERING)
_________________________________

_________________________________

ALL: Hurray!

_________________________________

Hurray for Captain Pan!

_________________________________

All right, ya swabs, aloft with ya!

_________________________________

We're castin' off! Heave those halyards!

_________________________________

But... But, Peter...

Oh, that is, Captain Pan.

_________________________________

At your service, madam.

_________________________________

Could you tell me, sir,

where we're sailing?

_________________________________

To London, madam.

_________________________________

Oh, Peter.

_________________________________

Michael! John! We're going home!

_________________________________

Man the capstan!

_________________________________
PETER: Hoist anchor!

_________________________________

Pixie dust!

_________________________________

(TOLLING)
_________________________________

_________________________________