The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water 2015 full script

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

Directed by: Paul Tibbitt
Produced by: Paul Tibbett, Mary Parent
Screenplay by: Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger
Story by: Stephen Hillenburg, Paul Tibbitt
Based on: SpongeBob SquarePants by Stephen Hillenburg
Starring: Antonio Banderas, Tom Kenny, Clancy Brown, Rodger Bumpass, Bill Fagerbakke, Carolyn Lawrence, Mr. Lawrence, Matt Berry
Music by: John Debney
Cinematography: Phil Meheux
Edited by: David Ian Salter
Production company: Paramount Animation, Nickelodeon Movies, United Plankton Pictures
Distributed by: Paramount Pictures
Release dates: January 28, 2015 (Belgium/Netherlands), February 6, 2015 (North America)
Running time: 92 minutes
Country: United States
Language: English
Budget: $74 million
Box office: $311.6 million
MPAA Rating: PG: "Parental Guidance Suggested. Some Material May Not Be Suitable For Children." (for mild action and rude humor)
Rotten Tomatoes: Critic Score: 78% Certified Fresh. Average Rating: 6.5/10. Reviews Counted: 89. Fresh: 69. Rotten: 20. Critics Consensus: The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water won't win over many viewers who aren't fans of the show, but for the converted, it's another colorful burst of manic fun.
Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1
Subtitles: (WHITE)

(On a dark cloudy background, we see several stars flying towards us, a mirrored reference to the previous logo. As the third star flies towards us, we follow the star to reveal that we were looking at the reflection of a lake. We follow the stars as they skim the lake and create ripples. We continue to fly forward as a total of 22 stars line up and encircle the mountain ahead. Then the word "Paramount" zooms back to take its place on the mountain, which is situated on a cloudy sunset landscape. The 2010 Viacom fades in below)
(In the middle of the bright blue ocean, a pirate ship sat anchored just off the shore of a tiny desert island. BURGER BEARD, the captain of the ship, eagerly rowed a little wooden boat to the beach)
(The moment the tip of his boat touched the sand, he jumped out, carrying a map and his trusty sword)
(EXT. JUNGLE — DAY. Following the map, Burger Beard hacked his way through the thick jungle to the ruins of an ancient temple, avoiding booby traps)
Burger Beard: "Booby Traps"? (GRUNTS)
(At the far end of the temple, a dusty pirate skeleton sat on a magnificent throne, holding an old leather-bound book)
(While the skeleton was holding a book, the title card faded in: THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER)
(When he saw the book, Burger Beard's eyes lit up)
Burger Beard: Oh, there you are, my lovely.
(Dancing a happy jig, he made his way across the temple to the throne, avoiding giant spikes and poison darts. Then he cupped his ear and pretended to listen to the silent pirate skeleton)
Burger Beard: Hmm! What's that? Take the book? I don't mind if I do.
(He yanked the old book out of the skeleton's hand, and the skeleton collapsed into a pile of bones)
(But the pirate didn't notice. He was twirling around, hugging the book to his chest)
Burger Beard: (LAUGHS) At last, it is mine. Finally, you are mine.
(When he turned around, he saw the pirate skeleton! It had reassembled itself, and now it was waving its bony fists, challenging Burger Beard to a fight)
Burger Beard: All right. Let's do this. Bare knuckles. Bring it on, skinny. You don't scare me.
(CRACK! The skeleton landed a tremendous punch right on Burger Beard's chin, which sent him flying all the way back to his ship)
(EXT. SHIP — DAY. The seagulls were waiting)
Seagull 1: You got any sevens?
Seagull 2: Go fish.
(THUMP! The pirate landed hard on the deck)
(He bounced up and shook his fist at the island
Burger Beard: Is that all you got? (LAUGHING)
(He kissed the book one more time, weighed anchor, caught a good stiff wind, and sailed away)
Ooh.
(Satisfied with his course, Burger Beard hit the auto-pirate button on the ship's steering wheel and sat down in his reading chair. As he opened the ancient volume, several curious seagulls settled around him to listen)
Burger Beard: Man, this is way overdue.
(He began to read out loud)
Burger Beard: "Once upon a time, under the sea, there was a little town called Bikini Bottom. In this town, there was a place called The Krusty Krab, where folks would come to eat a thing called the Krabby Patty. Every greasy spoon has a fry cook, and the one who worked here was named SpongeBob SquarePants."
(The name of SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, leads to the seagulls performing the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song)
SEAGULLS: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he
Burger Beard: Just hold it. Hold it.
(He was trying to calm them down)
Seagulls: SpongeBob SquarePants!
If nautical nonsense be something you wish
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish
SpongeBob SquarePants!
(He then gets mad)
Burger Beard: (GROANS) Stop!
(As they hear this, the seagulls stop before they finish performing the song and are then shown disappointed. Burger Beard have his finger marking the page where he stopped reading)
Burger Beard: There's only one thing worse than talking birds, and that would be... Singing birds!
Seagull 3: Okay, I promise not to (SINGS) si-i-i-ng.
Kyle: (CLEARS THROAT)
(In the birdcage, there was a skeleton parrot band)
Dead Parrot 1: Take it from us.
Dead Parrot 2: He really does hate singing birds.
Seagull: (SQUAWKS AND FARTS)
Kyle: Just keep weading. Pwease, Mr. Piwate, sir.
Burger Beard: (GROANS) Come closer while I tell you the tale.
David: Okay, start reading.
Burger Beard: No. Not that close!
(He scares the seagull off as couple more seagulls come in to listen, then turns the page)
Burger Beard: All right, here we go.
(Burger Beard resumed reading)
(The KRUSTY KRAB with falling Krabby Patties)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) Now, SpongeBob loved his job as a fry cook...
SpongeBob: (LAUGHS)
(SpongeBob goes into the Krusty Krab)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) ...more than anything.
(SpongeBob happily polishes his snow globes before kissing one)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) And that is saying a lot because he loved everything!
(SpongeBob hugs his snail GARY)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) He loved his pet snail, Gary.
Gary: (MEOWS)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) He loved his best friend, Patrick.
(Gary poofs into PATRICK STAR before he giggles)
(SpongeBob makes his friends into bubbles)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) He loved blowing bubbles
(SpongeBob catches a jellyfish while falling off a cliff)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) and jellyfishing.
SpongeBob: Whee!
(SpongeBob happily makes Krabby Patties)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) He loved making Krabby Patties for the folks of Bikini Bottom
(Many Krabby Patties land on the customers' plates)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) just as much as they loved eating them
(The customers are enjoying their Krabby Patties together, including BUBBLE BASS, which his seat breaks)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) Why, you may ask, do they love this greasy little sandwich so much? Why did they eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner,
(A customer is eating a Krabby Patty while on a hospital bed and wearing a breathing mask)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) despite their doctor's warnings?
Dr. Gill Gilliam: He'll be gone in a week.
Evelyn: (SOBBING) Oh, Harold!
(She sadly bites into a Krabby Patty as the doctor does the same too, happily)
BURGER BEARD: Oh. It was a secret.
(A real-life Krabby Patty with many question marks in the background)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) No one was sure what was in these patties that made them so delicious. And, frankly, no one cared, except for Plankton.
(An embarrassed PLANKTON)
Plankton: Meh.
(A crowd Krusty Krab before zooming to an empty Chum Bucket)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) Plankton owned a restaurant right across the street from The Krusty Krab, where no one ate
(A disgusting chum pstty before Plankton appears from behind)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) because the food was really bad.
Plankton: Now, is that really necessary?
(The patty deflates a little)
(Plankton was wearing spy gear and tries to steal the formula)
BURGER BEARD: Plankton had made it his life's work to steal the recipe.
(Plankton was holding on to the handle of a safe while SpongeBob tried to vacuum him off it)
Plankton: (WHIMPERS) SpongeBob, please, let's talk about this!
(SpongeBob blows the vacuum thereafter)
Burger Beard: (V.O.) And SpongeBob was always there to protect it. But today, things would be different.
(EXT. THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. High above Bikini Bottom, a bomber plane flew toward the Krusty Krab. Behind the restaurant, SpongeBob tossed a bag into the trash bin just as his best friend, Patrick, walked up)
Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Morning, Patrick! You here for your pre-lunch Krabby Patty?
Patrick: I'm getting two today. One for me and one for my friend.
SpongeBob: Oh. Have I met this friend?
(Patrick used both hands to squish his belly to look like a big mouth. He moved his hands to make the "mouth" talk)
Patrick: "You know me, SpongeBob."
(The two pals laughed)
SpongeBob: Enjoy, Patrick's tummy.
(Up above the Krusty Krab, the bomber plane dropped a huge jar of tartar sauce. As the gigantic jar fell, it made a whistling sound)
(Meanwhile, in front of the Krusty Krab, the owner, MR. KRABS, was happily counting the customers who were lining up to spend their money. He was too busy counting to notice the whistle of the falling jar)
Krabs: Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen...
(SpongeBob went over to his boss)
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs, I thought we got our tartar sauce delivery on Thursday.
(Mr. Krabs stopped counting)
Krabs: (puzzled) Tartar...
(SPLAT! The giant jar hit the ground and exploded, covering everyone and everything with tartar sauce!)
Krabs: Sauce?
(Tartar sauce dripped off his nose and claws)
(Overheard, the pilot of the bomber plane circled around to see the damage he had done. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob heard a familiar voice yell:)
PLANKTON: Bull's-eye! (LAUGHING)
(The plane flew off)
SpongeBob: Plankton!
(He recognized the evil laugh right away)
Krabs: So it's a food fight he wants, eh?
(Plankton piloted his bomber plane toward the Krusty Krab for another attack)
Plankton: Welcome to Air Plankton. Please put your seat backs and tray tables up as we're now approaching our final destination.
(Up on the roof of the Krusty Krab, a giant antiaircraft gun rose into position. SpongeBob and Patrick, wearing their battle helmets, worked the gun)
SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, load the potatoes!
(Patrick held up a plate full of steaming potatoes)
Patrick: Mashed or scalloped, sir?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Raw.
Patrick: Sir, yes, sir!
(He dropped the plate of cooked potatoes, picking up a bag of raw potatoes, and poured them into the antiaircraft gun)
Patrick: Locked and loaded!
(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs opened his safe and placed the Krabby Patty secret formula inside)
Krabs: Don't worry, little formuler, you'll be safe in this, uh, safe.
(He slammed the door closed, twirled the dial, and grabbed a microphone)
Krabs: Fire!
(EXT. THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. On the roof, SpongeBob pulled the trigger. BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! The antiaircraft gun fired whole potatoes at Plankton's fighter plane)
Plankton: Potatoes?
(He saw them coming straight at him. He pulled the stick to the right, swerving the plane out of the way, and headed toward the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: He's closing in!
(Patrick peered through a pair of binoculars...which he was holding backward)
Patrick: I think we have a few minutes before he gets here.
(SpongeBob reached up and flipped the binoculars around)
Patrick: (GASPS) He's right on top of us!
(SpongeBob kept firing the big gun, but the propellers of Plankton's plane shredded the potatoes into French fries, sending them flying down towards SANDALS)
Sandals: Hey, it's raining fries!
Plankton: It's gonna take a lot more than potatoes to bring this baby down.
(But just then, the potatoes knocked the wings off his plane)
Plankton: Or maybe not.
(The plane plummeted to the ground and crashed WHAM!)
(SpongeBob and Patrick celebrated on the roof with a victory dance)
Patrick: Whoo!
(Then SpongeBob spotted something floating gently through the sky: a parachute)
SpongeBob: Wait a minute, Patrick, look! He's got a tank!
(Dangling from the parachute was tank)
(INT. TANK — DAY. Plankton loaded a pickle as ammunition and manned the controls)
Plankton: Well, Krabs, you're certainly in a pickle now! (LAUGHS EVILLY)
(The tank shot the pickle at the Krusty Krab. It hit the restaurant and exploded, blowing SpongeBob and Patrick off the roof. They screamed as they fell and hit the ground)
Sandals: Hey, it's raining pickles! (LAUGHS) Now it's raining...
(The tank lands on Sandals)
Sandals: Tanks.
Plankton: You're welcome!
(The tank drives away)
(SpongeBob and Patrick stood up, breathing hard)
Patrick: Finland.
(They saw the tank rolling closer)
(SpongeBob frantically cranked a field radio and shouted into it)
SpongeBob: You orders, sir!
(The Texas squirrel named SANDY CHEEKS looks at a menu at the drive-thru)
Sandy: I'll have two Krabby Patties-extra ketchup, extra mustard, and hold the mayo.
SpongeBob: Wrong channel!
(He cranked a field radio again)
SpongeBob: Your orders, sir!
(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs answered)
Krabs: Extra ketchup! Extra mustard! Hold the mayo!
SpongeBob: Yes, sir!
(He hoists giant squeeze bottles onto his shoulders)
SpongeBob: Extra ketchup! Extra mustard!
(Patrick lifted a giant jar of mayo over his head)
Patrick: (GRUNTS) Hold the mayo!
(His arms shook with the effort of holding the huge jar over his head. He and SpongeBob watched as the tank rolled closer and closer...)
(Finally, their radio crackled)
Krabs: Unleash the condiments!
SpongeBob: With relish. (YELLS)
(He shot ketchup and mustard at Plankton's tank repeatedly before they run out, making fart noises)
SpongeBob: Excuse me.
(He and Patrick laugh before SpongeBob gets another set of ketchup and mustard and does the same thing)
(Sandy calls through the window)
Sandy: Hello? Hello? Guess y'all don't want my money.
Krabs: Money?
(He quickly snatches Sandy's money and gives her the food)
Krabs: Thank you! Come again! (quickly closes the window)
(As the tank just kept on coming, firing exploding pickles at the Krusty Krab, Patrick starts getting tired)
Patrick: I can't hold the mayo any longer!
(Patrick heaved the gaint jar of mayo right in front of the tank. CRASH!)
Plankton: Mayo? Well, it's going to take a lot more than mayo to stop...
(BOOM! The tank ran into the mayo and exploded, sending globs of white goo flying everywhere)
(SpongeBob was carefully watching the wreckage of Plankton's tank. He saw movement)
SpongeBob: Now what?
(SpongeBob watched in horror as a giant metal robot rose from the smoldering ashes of the tank. Plankton was working the robot's controls from a seat inside its head, He laughed a long, loud evil laugh and pushed on a control stick. The robot stomped forward. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The ground shook with every step the giant robot took)
(Patrick stared up at the robot)
Patrick: I just remembered, I don't work for Mr. Krabs!
(He ran off)
(SpongeBob dropped the helmet and sprinted for the front door of the Krusty Krab)
SPONGEBOB: Robot! Robot! Robot! Giant robot!
(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs was staring at the closed door. He could hear the thundering steps of the robot coming closer. He could also hear SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Robot! Robot!
(SpongeBob burst into the office and slammed the door shut behind him)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, Plankton's here and he's got a giant robot!
Krabs: Quick, boy, bar the door!
(SpongeBob shoved a flimsy chair under the doorknob)
SpongeBob: Got it!
(The robot burst through the door and the wall surrounding it. SMASH! It flattened SpongeBob and stomped right up to Mr. Krabs)
Plankton: I'll take one secret formula...
Krabs: (SCREAMS)
Plankton: ...to go.
(The robot's big mechanical hand reached toward Mr. Krabs, who cowered and groaned, until suddenly...)
(...the robot sputtered and froze)
(SpongeBob peeled himself off the floor and stood up, wondering what the robot was doing)
(Inside the robot's head, Plankton stared at a gauge. The needle pointed to E)
Plankton: Oh, barnacles. I'm out of gas?
(He opened a little door, climbed out of the robot's head, and walked down its extended arm to Mr. Krabs)
Plankton: I'm not through yet. I've got something that will make you hand over that formula. Something you can't resist.
(Plankton whipped out his wallet)
Krabs: (GASPS) Money!
Plankton: Yes!
(Swaggering over his long-awaited victory, Plankton opened his wallet)
(It was empty)
(Plankton's eye bulged in disbelief)
Plankton: Huh? That's... That's... That's impossible! Well, it was full of money just last week.
(He thought hard about where all his money could possibly have gone)
Plankton: And then I bought that airplane and built that tank.
(Mr. Krabs chuckled)
KRABS: Sounds to me like someone's just a wee bit broke!
(Plankton shrugged)
Plankton: Well, Krabs, I guess you've won. I've spent every penny I've ever made trying to put you out of business.
(He pulled out a single penny)
Plankton: Except this one. My last penny. (CRYING) Besides, what can I do with one measly cent anyway?
(Mr. Krabs looked at the penny and licked his lips)
Krabs: You could give it to me. Just a suggestion.
(Plankton stared at his last penny. He closed his eye and sighed)
Plankton: Here, take it.
(He tossed the penny to Mr. Krabs, who caught it with one eager claw. Mr. Krabs kissed the penny. Then he opened his safe, tossed the penny inside)
(Plankton began to sob)
Plankton: You've taken everything else. Why not? (SOBBING)
(Huge tears flowed from Plankton's single eye)
(INT. DINING AREA, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs picked him up and carried him out of his office, stopping in the restaurant's dining area. SpongeBob followed his boss)
(Mr. Krabs holds Plankton in his big claw)
Krabs: Well, Plankton, like a reheated Krabby Patty, you've been foiled again.
(He dropped the tiny villain onto the floor)
SpongeBob: I guess this means the secret formula is safe forever, right, Mr. Krabs?
Krabs: It sure does, boy.
(Plankton let out a big sigh)
Krabs: Why don't you scurry along?
(He and the other customers laughed. Plankton gave another sob, hung his little green head, and slunk out of the Krusty Krab)
Krabs: Thanks for coming! Have a nice day!
(BUBBLE TRANSITION to:)
(MOMENTS LATER. Outside, Plankton walked over to a signpost, leaned his forehead against it, and wept)
(A little while later, Mr. Krabs watched Plankton through a telescope. He was still leaning against the signpost)
KRABS: He's been out there crying for 20 minutes. Pathetic.
(He peered through the telescope, then snapped it shut)
Krabs: I'm just going to go out there and gloat a little.
(Humming a happy tune, Mr. Krabs hurried out the front door)
(INT. SAFE, OFFICE — DAY. Meanwhile, inside the safe in Mr. Krabs's office, Plankton's last penny was doing something unusual for a coin)
(It was moving)
(The penny wiggled, stood on edge, rolled, and suddenly popped open. Hidden inside the penny was...PLANKTON!)
(He laughed and spoke into a tiny microphone hidden inside the penny)
Plankton: Cyclops to Laptop. Come in, Laptop.
(INT. THE CHUM BUCKET — DAY. In the Chum Bucket, Plankton's computer wife, KAREN, was playing solitaire on her screen. She heard her husband)
Karen: "Laptop." You do realize that nickname is demanding? I have twice the processing power of a lap top.
(INT. SAFE, OFFICE — DAY. Plankton answered in code)
Plankton: (WHISPERING) Never mind. Maintain radio silence.
(He looked around the inside of Mr. Krabs's safe and spotted the Krabby Patty secret formula rolled up and corked in a bottle)
Plankton: (LAUGHS) Finally!
(He was about to grab the bottle when he noticed it was sitting on a metal plate)
Plankton: A pressure plate, eh, Krabs? Amateur hour.
(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Plankton opened the door to the safe and cautiously looked around Mr. Krabs's office)
Plankton: Hmm.
(Then he saw a ship in a bottle on Mr. Krabs's desk)
Plankton: Perfect!
(He yanked the miniature ship out of the bottle and tossed it in the trash. After finding a pad of paper and a pencil, he quickly scribbled a fake formula, tore out the page and rolled it up, then shoved it in the bottle)
(Plankton pushed the cork back in the bottle and admired his work)
Plankton: Not a bad likeness. Good enough to fool that idiot Krabs.
(INT. SAFE, OFFICE — DAY. Back in the safe, Plankton carefully slid the fake formula bottle onto the pressure plate, simultaneously easing off the real bottle)
Plankton: Easy, easy.
(He worked. After a moment, he'd done it: the fake formula bottle was on the pressure plate, and the real formula bottle was in his dishonest hand!)
(INT. DINING AREA, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. In the dining area, SpongeBob was using the telescope to watch Mr. Krabs outside. His boss was gleefully dancing around around the sobbing Plankton)
(As he danced, Mr. Krabs sang a little song)
Krabs: (MOCKINGLY) Plankton's broke! Ooh-ooh.
SPONGEBOB: Look at Mr. Krabs go. I've never seen him gloat this hard before.
(EXT. THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs stopped dancing and laughed)
Krabs: Hey, well, Plankton, me bunions are telling me it's time to stop gloating.
(He picked up Plankton, who was still sobbing)
(He noticed what looked like a loose thread)
Krabs: Huh? Looks like you're falling apart at the seams.
(When Mr. Krabs pulled on the thread, Plankton's skin unraveled, revealing metal underneath. It wasn't Plankton he was holding. It was a tiny Plankton robot!)
Plankton Robot: Poor me. Sob, sob.
Krabs: A robot?
(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Inside the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob walked into Mr. Krabs's office and saw... the open safe!)
SpongeBob: (GASPS) Plankton?
(Startled, Plankton whirled around, knocking the fake formula bottle off the pressure plate with the real formula bottle. An alarm sounded. WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!)
Plankton: Uh-oh. That ain't good.
(A computer voice came over a loudspeaker)
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Initiating lockdown sequence.
(EXT. THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs heard the alarm go off)
Krabs: Me formuler!
(Mr. Krabs ran to the front door)
(INT. THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. The lockdown sequence had begun. Metal shudders slammed down around every part of the restaurant. SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! The big sheets of metal surrounded Squidward's work station)
Squidward: Huh?
(Another metal shutter slammed into place)
Squidward: Ow!
(Metal shutters closed off the kitchen, the bathrooms, and even the customers' food so no one could possibly escape from the restaurant)
(EXT. THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs watched a heavy metal shutter cover the front doors)
(He ran as fast as he could)
Krabs: No, no, no!
(But he was too late. The last shutter closed. SLAM!)
Krabs: No! Squidward! Open up!
(The Plankton robot picked itself up and started to dance)
Plankton Robot: Ha-ha, victory dance. Boo-ya.
(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. SpongeBob and Plankton were struggling over the bottle that held the Krabby Patty secret formula)
SpongeBob: (PANTING) Give me that!
Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob, join me! And we'll be rich and powerful, until I eventually betray you.
(He realized what he'd said)
Plankton: (STAMMERING) Uh, join me!
(SpongeBob shook his head, violently)
SpongeBob: No! Never! I'm on Team Krabs for life!
(INT. THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Mr. Krabs used all the strength he could muster to force the metal shutters open. He burst through the front door)
Krabs: Plankton!
(INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. SpongeBob and Plankton were still trying to pull the formula bottle away from each other. They tugged. They strained. They yanked with all their might)
(Suddenly, the bottle vanished into thin air!)
(SpongeBob's mouth hung open)
SpongeBob: What? Where'd it go?
PLANKTON: Wait a minute. Molecular deconstruction? I proved that to be a scientific impossibility seven times!
SPONGEBOB: Wait a minute. I think I forget to empty Gary's litter box today.
(Mr. Krabs dashed in. He immediately saw that the safe was open and Plankton was standing there. The REAL Plankton—not a robot)
Krabs: Where's me formuler, Plankton?
(Plankton raised his tiny hands and shrugged)
Plankton: I... I don't know! It just disappeared!
Krabs: Why should I believe you, you lying liar?
(SpongeBob stepped forward)
SpongeBob: Normally, I'd agree with you, Mr. Krabs, but this time he's telling the truth. It just vanished!
Plankton: It's true! (GASPS)
(Mr. Krabs wasn't buying it. He grabbed Plankton and taped him to his desk. SpongeBob watched his boss, looking worried)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I'm telling you he's innocent!
Plankton: What are you going to do, Krabs? Pour hot oil on me? Or put bamboo shoots under my nails?
(Mr. Krabs shook his head)
Krabs: (seriously) No. Knock, knock.
(Plankton grinned)
Plankton: Knock-knock jokes? I can do this all day, Krabs.
Krabs: Knock, knock.
Plankton: Oh, boy. Who's there?
Krabs: Jimmy.
Plankton: Jimmy who?
Krabs: Jimmy back my formuler, Plankton!
(Plankton looked confused)
Plankton: Well, that's stupid, but how is it torture?
Krabs: (CHUCKLES) You'll see.
(He put on soundproof headphones)
(SpongeBob was thinking hard)
SpongeBob: (to himself) "Jimmy back my formula"? Hmm. Oh! I get it!
(He started to laugh his high, annoying laugh)
SpongeBob: (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
Plankton: (SCREAMING)
(He kept laughing. And laughing. And laughing)
Plankton: Oh, make it stop, Krabs! Make it stop!
(But Mr. Krabs just stood there wearing his headphones. And SpongeBob kept laughing)
SpongeBob: (CONTINUES LAUGHING)
Plankton: (CONTINUES SCREAMING)
(As SpongeBob continued to laugh at the knock-knock joke, Squidward opened the door to the office. Behind him, a throng of angry customers scowled and complained)
Squidward: Mr. Krabs?
(But Mr. Krabs couldn't hear him because of his headphones. And SpongeBob was still laughing as Plankton writhed in psychological pain)
Squidward: SpongeBob, zip it!
(SpongeBob immediately stopped laughing)
(Plankton looked immensely relieved)
Plankton: (GROANS) Thank you, Squidward.
(Squidward ignored Plankton's apology)
Squidward: The customers are getting restless! They're asking for refunds. (ECHOES) Refunds.
(To Mr. Krabs, "refund" was such a horrible, terrifying word that he could hear it even through his sound-proof headphones)
Krabs: (COUGHS) Refunds?
(Sure enough, the customers were chanting...)
CUSTOMERS: (CHANTING) Refund! Refund!
(...like a mob of zombies)
(Mr. Krabs grabbed SpongeBob by his skinny arms)
Krabs: Listen up, boy. Get in there and make some customers some Krabby Patties!
(He hustled SpongeBob out of his office and shoved him through the kitchen door. Then he hurried back to his office)
Krabs: All right, Plankton...
(But when he looked at his desk, he saw that Plankton was GONE!)
Krabs: Huh?
(He had used his strongest tape to hold Plankton down)
(INT. KITCHEN, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. SpongeBob opens up the patty vault)
SpongeBob: (SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL)
(Mr. Krabs ran to see what was wrong. When he burst into the kitchen, he found his fry cook staring into the freezer)
Krabs: SpongeBob! What's wrong, boy?
(The he looked into the freezer himself)
Krabs: (SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL)
(It was empty)
Krabs: We're out of Krabby Patties?
(SpongeBob started to sweat despite the cold air pouring out of the freezer)
SpongeBob: How can we make more Krabby Patties without the secret formula?
(Mr. Krabs paced around the kitchen, concentrating)
Krabs: You've got to have that formuler memorized by now!
(SpongeBob reminded him)
SpongeBob: But as you are aware, sir, the employee handbook clearly states, and I quote, (reading) "No employee may, in part or in whole, commit the Krabby Patty secret formula to any recorded written or visual form, including memories, dreams, and/or needlepoint."
Krabs: (WAILING) Curse you, fine print!
(INT. DINING AREA, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. The crowd of hungry customers was still chanting, picking up the order boat)
CUSTOMERS: (CHANTING) Refund! Refund! Refund!
(Mr. Krabs burst into the dining room)
Krabs: (O.S.) Stop!
(Everyone stops and the customers drop the order boat)
Krabs: I'm not your enemy!
(He holds a "WANTED" sign with a picture of Plankton on it)
Krabs: Plankton is your enemy!
Squidward: So is he an anemone or a plankton?
(DRUM PLAYS RIMSHOT)
Mrs. Puff: Well, someone had to do it.
SpongeBob: (STAMMERS) But Mr. Krabs...
(Mr. Krabs flipped the paper to show a Krabby Patty on it)
Krabs: He took this from you!
(The customers gasp)
Fred: Krabby Patty...
Sandals: I can almost taste it.
SpongeBob: Uh, Mr. Krabs, Plankton didn't take the secret formula.
Krabs: (throwing the paper away) Not now, SpongeBob!
(Patrick sits at a table, catching the paper)
Patrick: Hey! I ordered a double Krabby Patty!
Krabs: So join me! Help get the formuler back, and I'll give each and every one of you a free Krabby Patty!
(The customers cheer)
Krabs: Oh, no! Wait! Even better, a slight discount!
(The customers groan, then they, along with Mr. Krabs, angrily run out of the Krusty Krab, chanting)
Krabs: To the Chum Bucket!
(SpongeBob was left standing alone in the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: But he didn't do it.
(INT. THE CHUM BUCKET — DAY. Plankton was telling Karen what had happened)
PLANKTON: I had it right in my greedy little mitts, and then... Poof! And now it's gone. Gone forever. Oh, I was so close to gaining the people's respect-slash-fear.
Karen: Um, Plankton?
Plankton: Oh, when will my frustration-slash-humiliation end?
Karen: Plankton?
Plankton: Not now, hon! Im'm ranting-slash-raving. All right, what is it?
Karen: Well, I was trying to tell you there's an angry mob outside. But now they're inside.
(The mob burst into his restaurant, led by Mr. Krabs)
Plankton: Oh. (YELPS)
(Mr. Krabs grabbed Plankton)
CROWD: Hmm?
Karen: I just work here.
(EXT. BIKINI BOTTOM — DAY. Mr. Krabs carried Plankton outside)
Krabs: We'd like to have a word with you!
(Mr. Krabs roughly threw Plankton to the ground. Squidward, the starving customers, and Karen gathered around)
Plankton: (CHUCKLES) You all look very hungry. Can I get anybody a Chum Burger?
(Mr. Krabs leaned over Plankton and pointed him)
KRABS: Enough with the niceties, Plankton! This is the last time I'm going to ask you. Where is me formuler?
(Plankton tried to scoot away from his enemy)
Plankton: I told you, Krabs, I don't have it.
Krabs: Wrong answer.
(He lifted his foot to stomp Plankton)
SPONGEBOB: Stop!
(Mr. Krabs hesitated and looked around. He saw his fry cook. And he looked mad)
SpongeBob: All right, Mr. Krabs, let me get in on this. (GROWLS)
(Then he angrily walked over to Plankton, pushing up his short white sleeves)
(Plankton looked confused)
Plankton: What's going on around here?
SpongeBob: You may want to step back a little, Mr. Krabs. This could get messy.
Krabs: Let's hope so.
(SpongeBob leaned over and shoved his face close to Plankton's)
SpongeBob: So you won't talk, eh, Plankton? I didn't want to have to do this.
(He pulled out a bottle of bubble solution, unscrewed the cap, and removed the wand. Then he expertly dipped the wand in the soapy liquid)
SpongeBob: Plankton, here comes the pain.
Krabs: Soap, in the eye, eh? Diabolical!
(SpongeBob took a deep breath and pursed his lips. Plankton held up his tiny hands)
Plankton: No! Stop! Don't!
(SpongeBob blew a large, shiny bubble that surrounded Plankton completely. Mr. Krabs looked puzzled)
Krabs: Wait. That didn't look painful.
(SpongeBob turned to Mr. Krabs)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you may not understand what I'm about to do today, but somebody we'll look back
(He jumped inside the bubble with Plankton)
SpongeBob: and have a good laugh.
(As Mr. Krabs and the angry mob watched in disbelief, SpongeBob and Plankton floated up into the sky in their bubble)
Krabs: Wait a minute.
Angry Customer #1: Hey, they're getting away!
(SpongeBob called down from the rising bubble)
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs!
(Mr. Krabs shook his fist up at SpongeBob)
Krabs: So, you've been running a long con on me, eh? All these years you've been working for Plankton!
Paco: They're in cahoots!
Krabs: Yeah, I guess that's a short way of saying it.
(Then he jabbed his claw up toward the floating bubble)
Krabs: Stop that bubble!
(He and the mob ran after the bubble on the ground. They even launched one customer at the bubble. He hit it and held on for dear life)
Customer: Please tell me there's something soft below me.
BOTH: Mmm, nope.
(He fell off, screaming)
KRABS: SpongeBob!
(The bubble disappear into the distance)
Krabs: Oh. You were like an underpaid son to me. I would've expected Squidward to stab me in the back.
(At the sound of his name, Squidward woke from a brief snooze)
Squidward: (SNORING) Huh? What? Huh?
Krabs: But SpongeBob? Me most trusted employee? (deep breath) Working with me sworn enemy? You know what this means, Mr. Squidward.
Squidward: (hopefully) We get the rest of the day off?
Krabs: No! This be but a harbinger of what I fear lies ahead. For you. For me. For all of Bikini Bottom! The Krabby Patty is what ties us all together! Without it, there will be a complete breakdown of social order. A war of all against all! Dark times are ahead. Dark times indeed!
(Squidward scrunched up his face)
Squidward: Seriously? Aren't you overreacting a bit?
(But when he looked around, Squidward saw that Bikini Bottom had already erupted into flames. People were looting stores and fighting each other over scraps of food. The town had become a violent, ugly place. And Squidward and Mr. Krabs themselves were suddenly wearing leather outfits that made them look tough)
Krabs: (dramatically) Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. I hope you like leather.
SQUIDWARD: I prefer suede.
(EXT. SHIP — DAY. Surrounded by attentive seagulls, Burger Beard read from the old book he'd stolen. He held it open to a picture of Bikini Bottom in flames)
BURGER BEARD: And so Bikini Bottom became an apocalyptic cesspool forevermore.
(He snapped the book shut)
Burger Beard: The end.
(He stands up and stretches, flexing his bones)
(The seagulls were very upset)
Kyle: Wait a minute. That's a terrible ending.
David: Oh, this is bad. Really bad.
Seagull: What? What?
David: SpongeBob's in trouble and the story's over?
Andy: (banging his head with a bell repeatedly) Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
(The others freak out)
SEAGULL 1: Hey, call a therapist!
SEAGULL 2: I have anxiety!
(SEAGULL 3 SOBBING)
(Humming and singing to himself, Burger Beard strolled over to the ship's wheel and steered)
(HENRY, another seagull landed on Burger Beard's steering wheel)
Henry: There is no way that that's the end of this story.
Burger Beard: (SCOFFS) Of course it is. I'll show you. Just turn around.
Henry: Oh, all right.
(Henry turned, and Burger Beard plucked a feather from its tail)
Henry: (GROANS) Hey! I need that to fly, you jerk.
(Burger Beard dipped the point of the feather in black ink and wrote:)
Burger Beard: "The End"!
(THE END! in his book)
(Fake end credits roll: MAIN CAST (IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE), Tom Kenny — SpongeBob, Bill Fagerbakke — Patrick, Rodger Bumpass — Squidward, Mr. Lawrence — Plankton, Clancy Brown — Mr. Krabs, Carolyn Lawrence — Sandy, Jill Talley — Karen)
HENRY: That's not the ending!
(Not wanting the story to end, Henry tried to pull the book out of his hands, making the fake end credits stop by ripping itself back to the scene)
Burger Beard: (GRUNTS) Of course it is!
Henry: Unhand that book!
Burger Beard: You let go of that!
Henry: Let go, you numbskull!
(He accidentally tore loose the page that Burger Beard had written on)
(The pirate scrambled to grab back the torn page, but he slipped and fell on the deck. KLUNK!)
Andy: You better keep reading, Mr. Pirate,
(He and other seagulls aim their butts at Burger Beard)
Andy: or else!
(Henry flapped its wings and flew off the ship with the page in its beak. Then it dropped the sheet into the water)
Henry: I know I shouldn't be littering, but that ending was rubbish! (LAUGHING) Rubbish! (LAUGHS)
(The page with THE END on it slowly sank into the briny depths...)
(EXT. BIKINI BOTTOM — DAY. In Bikini Bottom, things had gone from bad to worse. Chaos reigned everywhere. Lawlessness ruled the streets. Fires, robbery, people bumping into each other without saying "Excuse me"—you name it)
(INT. DINING AREA, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Somehow Patrick didn't notice. He strolled into the Krusty Krab)
Patrick: Good morning, Squidward. I'll have the usual.
(A fiery boat crashes in the Krusty Krab)
Patrick: With cheese.
(Squidward shook his head. He couldn't believe Patrick hadn't heard the news)
Squidward: We're out of Krabby Patties right now!
Patrick: (stepping out slowly) No Krabby Patties? No!
(He turns himself into a post-apocalyptic version of himself)
(EXT. BIKINI BOTTOM — DAY. SpongeBob peered through the bubble as it flew over his hometown)
SpongeBob: Look what's become of Bikini Bottom. We've really gotta get that formula back.
Plankton: Hmm. Get the secret formula, you say? Excuse me, I need a moment.
(He turned away from SpongeBob and talked to himself)
Plankton: With that formula, I could rule the world! (LAUGHING EVILLY) (CLEARS THROAT)
(Then he turned back to SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: You know I can hear you, right?
Plankton: Well, what do we do now?
SpongeBob: Now we work together. You know, teamwork.
(Plankton looked as though he had absolutely no idea what SpongeBob was talking about)
Plankton: What's, uh, 'tee-am work"?
(SpongeBob gently corrected him)
SpongeBob: No, Plankton, teamwork.
Plankton: Tee-am work.
SpongeBob: Teamwork.
Plankton: Tie-'em work.
SpongeBob: Teamwork.
Plankton: Tie 'em up!
(SpongeBob sighed)
SpongeBob: Say "team," like a sports...
Plankton: Team.
SpongeBob: Team. Now say "work."
Plankton: Work.
SpongeBob: Put them together. What do you got?
Plankton: Time bomb work.
SpongeBob: Getting better!
(EXT. TREE DOME — DAY. Sandy sat down to watch TV and eat a Krabby Patty she'd been saving. An anchorman came on the screen)
News Anchor: (On TV) Now, Bikini Bottom Action News!
(Sandy heard a strange noise above her. She looked up and saw Patrick stuck to the outside of her tree dome, staring at her Krabby Patty and drooling)
Sandy: (GASPS) Oh, hey, Patrick!
(Patrick had his tongue stuck to the dome's glass)
Patrick: Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty! (WHIMPERS)
(When Sandy started to take a bite, Patrick pulled his tongue off the glass)
Patrick: Krabby Patty, Krabby Patty, Krabby... (WHIMPERS)
(Sandy tried to take a bite of her sandwich each time)
Patrick: Krabby Patty, Krabby... (WHIMPERS) Krabby Patty... (WHIMPERS) Krabby... (WHIMPERS)
(Finally, she shoved the whole Krabby Patty into her mouth at once. Patrick screamed, slid off the glass, and wondered away miserably)
Patrick: Krabby! (SOBBING) Come on, tummy, it's gonna be a long day.
(On the TV)
NEWS ANCHOR: We interrupt your regular program for an important news bulletin.
(Reporter PERCH PERKINS appeared on the screen holding a microphone)
Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins reporting live from downtown Bikini (YELPS) (ducking as a boatmobile flew by his head) Bottom. Complete chaos here today as our town attempts to deal with a sudden and complete shortage of Krabby Patties. Whoa! (ducking again to avoid a metal trash can) Events here have this reporter wondering, what is the secret ingredient in Krabby Patties anyway? (SCREAMING) (runs away)
(An angry fish ran up, waving a metal pipe)
Angry Fish: It's love! The secret ingredient is love!
(The angry fish swung his pipe at the camera, and Sandy's TV screen went blank)
Sandy: (GASPS) No more Krabby Patties? If I'd have known that, I'd have chewed it slower.
(Suddenly, the inside of the tree dome went dark. Sandy looked up and saw a huge shadow covering the curved glass)
Sandy: Huh? What the corndog is that?
(The page from Burger Beard's book with THE END written on it had drifted down and landed on Sandy's tree dome)
(EXT. BIKINI BOTTOM — DAY. Up in their bubble, SpongeBob was still trying to teach Plankton about teamwork)
SpongeBob: Come on Plankton, it's easy! It means, I help you, you help me, and when we accomplish our goal, then we do hands in the middle.
Plankton: Hands in the middle? No, no. Sounds idiotic.
(He looked down through the bubble to the town below)
Plankton: Beside, the two of us are no match for that cranky mob!
(Down in Bikini Bottom, the angry horde was destroying a doughnut shop. They pushed on the side of the building until it tipped over and burst into flames. Doughnuts flew everywhere. People from the mob frantically gathered up doughnuts and carried them off, laughing hysterically, madness in their eyes)
Plankton: We could probably use a few more tee-am works.
(SpongeBob brightened)
SpongeBob: That's exactly what I was thinking!
(He pulled a pin out of his pocket)
Plankton: Wait, what are you doing?
(SpongeBob jammed the pin into the bubble. POP! He and Plankton plummeted through the air with Plankton screaming all the way!)
(EXT. BIKINI BOTTOM — DAY. WHUMP! SpongeBob and Plankton landed right next to Squidward's house. Plankton groaned, lying on the ground. SpongeBob quickly got to his feet and looked around)
(What he saw surprised him)
(Patrick was sitting on top of his house, banging his face against the rock. But instead of his usual shorts, he was wearing a futuristic-looking leather outfit)
(Patrick was doing face-bangs)
PATRICK: I need Krabby Patties!
SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?
(Patrick stopped banging his face against his house and looked over at SpongeBob and Plankton)
Patrick: Krabby Patties! Vandalizing stuff.
Plankton: Isn't that your house?
Patrick: Hey, what's with all the questions? Who are you guys?
(SpongeBob couldn't believe Patrick had asked. They hadn't been up in the bubble that long. What was wrong with Patrick?)
SpongeBob: It's me, your best friend! SpongeBob?
(Patrick looked skeptical)
Patrick: Oh, yeah? Well, if you're SpongeBob, then what's the secret password?
(At the same time, SpongeBob and Plankton said:)
BOTH: Uh...
Patrick: Correct! It is you! SpongeBob!
(Patrick jumped off his rock and landed on SpongeBob. BLOMP!)
Patrick: SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Patrick!
Patrick: SpongeBob! Why aren't you at The Krusty Krab making Krabby Patties?
(Patrick sat down, right on top of Plankton)
SpongeBob: Well, I'd love to, but the formula's gone.
Patrick: Yeah, Mr. Krabs says you and Plankton took it.
SpongeBob: No, that's not what happened. It just disappeared. We're putting a team together to find it.
Patrick: A team? Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!
(Patrick jumped up to give SpongeBob a big bear hug)
SpongeBob: (grinning) Okay, Patrick, you're in.
PLANKTON: I don't know, SpongeBob.
(Plankton popped out of the sand)
Plankton: What exactly does this clown bring to the tee-am?
SpongeBob: He brings loyalty, Plankton. Loyalty. Isn't that right, Patrick?
Patrick: Yeah, yeah, loyalty.
(Then suddenly...)
Patrick: I've got SpongeBob! He's over here! (started making alarm sounds) (IMITATES ALARM)
(Mr. Krabs had heard Patrick's alarm)
Krabs: Let's go get him!
(Plankton started to run)
Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob, let's get out of here!
SpongeBob: Patrick!
(Patrick threw SpongeBob right on top of Plankton and then sat on them both, still making alarm sounds)
Patrick: (CONTINUES IMITATING ALARM)
SpongeBob: Patrick, why are you doing this?
Patrick: Because I need... Krabby... Patties!
(He turned toward Mr. Krabs and the angry mob, who were running straight toward them)
Patrick: Hurry up! I'm hungry! Over here!
(Frantic to escape from his hunger-crazed friend, SpongeBob began furiously burrowing underground. Carrying Plankton in his hand, he tunneled away from Patrick. Then he popped up out of the ground, gasping and panting)
(As the mob grew closer, SpongeBob and Plankton ran away as fast as their legs could carry them)
Patrick: Guys, am I still on the team? Hey, what are you looking at?
(The two fugitives ran straight to Sandy's tree dome)
SpongeBob: Sandy!
(INT. AIR LOCK ENTRANCE — DAY.  SpongeBob opened the air-lock door, rushed inside, and slammed the door shut. He put on a water helmet and pressed a big red button. The water in the air lock drained. SpongeBob scooped Plankton into a glass of water before he dried out)
SpongeBob: Sandy!
(INT. TREE DOME — DAY. They opened the second air lock and stepped inside the dome. It was dark and eerie. Pieces of paper were stuck all over the inside of the dome, blocking the light)
SpongeBob: Sandy?
(They walked farther inside but didn't find Sandy anywhere)
SpongeBob: Sandy, are you home?
(He turned to Plankton)
SpongeBob: Gee, Plankton, I wonder where she is.
(The two of them looked more closely at the papers stuck to the inside of the dome. They were covered with scribbles and strange writing, all connected by string)
SpongeBob: What is all this stuff?
(As they stared at the papers, dark shape whipped by, passing right behind them. SpongeBob turned around)
SpongeBob: Sandy?
(SpongeBob reached toward one of the papers and a hand grabbed his shoulder)
Sandy: Don't touch that!
(Sandy darted away and picked up a thick notebook. SHe opened it and started reading, mumbling to herself)
Sandy: Incoherent muttering. (MUTTERING)
(SpongeBob and Plankton slowly walked over to her)
(She didn't seem like the old Sandy SpongeBob knew and loved)
SpongeBob: Sandy? Are you okay?
(She wheeled around and stared at him)
Sandy: (SHOUTING) Okay? Have you looked outside?
(Sandy pointed out the glass wall of her tree dome to Bikini Bottom, where they could see flames and plumes of black smoke)
Sandy: Does that seem "okay" to you?
(Sandy started pacing)
Sandy: I'm trying to figure out what happened to society. If we don't fix it soon, there won't  be anything left to fix!
(She twitched, and her eyes bulged out of her head)
SpongeBob: Sandy? The lack of Krabby Patties has driven her mad.
(Sandy stared at the papers stuck inside her tree dome. SHe grabbed her head with her hands)
Sandy: And I think I figgered it out. Look.
(She grabbed some papers and tore them off the curved glass dome. Through the dome, SpongeBob and Plankton could see a big sheet of paper with THE END on it)
(Sandy stabbed her finger at the big sheet of paper)
Sandy: When this came down from above, I knew it could only mean one thing.
(SpongeBob looked puzzled)
SpongeBob: And that would be?
(Sandy whipped around and held her hands wide apart)
Sandy: It means it's the end! The sandwich gods are angry with us!
(Now SpongeBob and Plankton were really confused)
BOTH: Sandwich gods?
(Sandy started pacing again, moving even faster this time, waving her hands through the air)
Sandy: I just don't know how we're going to appease them! (MUTTERING)
(SpongeBob and Plankton look at each other)
PLANKTON: You got any other friends who aren't dim bulbs or nut jobs?
SpongeBob: Well, I have one friend who's loyal to the very end.
(BUBBLE TRANSITION to:)
(INT. SPONGEBOB'S PINEAPPLE HOUSE — DAY. When SpongeBob saw his pineapple home, he gasped. It had been severely damaged by a wandering mob! And for some reason, it was covered in gooey snail slime)
SpongeBob: Gary, I'm home.
(Where was SpongeBob's beloved pet snail?)
SpongeBob: Gare-bear? Gary? Gary?
(A blob of snail slime dripped onto SpongeBob's head)
Plankton: Revolting!
SpongeBob: But it means Gary is close by! Gary, I'm back!
(When they walked into the broken house, they suddenly stopped, shocked by what they saw)
SpongeBob: Whoa.
(The house was filled with snails. Big snails. Small snails. Snails of every color and description. And they were all looking respectfully at...)
(GARY. SpongeBob's pet snail was sitting on a giant throne, surrounded by pillars and huge fire pits)
SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Gary, Plankton and I need you to help us find the Krabby Patty formula and fix Bikini Bottom.
Gary: (MEOWING)
SpongeBob: What do you mean, you don't have to do as I say anymore?
Gary: (MEOWING)
SpongeBob: What do you mean, "King of Snails"? (looking stern, folding his arms) Gary The Snail, you get down here right now and join this team!
Gary: (MEOWING)
SpongeBob: What do you mean, "Seize them"?
(All the snails who had been paying their respects to Gary, the King of the Snails, turned to SpongeBob and Plankton. Then they advanced on them with their fangs bared, growling!)
(EXT. BIKINI BOTTOM — DAY. SpongeBob turned and ran out of the pineapple house as fast as he could!)
Plankton: Why are you running?
SpongeBob: (PANTING) Because they're right on our tail.
(He looked back to see the snails moving very, very slowly)
SpongeBob: Oh, right, snails.
(The two unlikely partners strolled away from SpongeBob's house)
Plankton: Well, so much for your tee-am.
SpongeBob: Putting together a team is a lot harder than I thought it would be!
(Nearby, Mr. Krabs and the angry mob was still on their tail)
KRABS: This way!
Plankton: We better get out of here until things cool off.
(EXT. RIDGE, BIKINI BOTTOM — NIGHT. That night, high on a ridge overlooking Bikini Bottom, Plankton and SpongeBob looked down at their hometown. They could see fires burning in the darkness)
SPONGEBOB: Everything we know and love has been destroyed.
Plankton: Oh, yeah, looks like they're gonna have to change the name of Bikini Bottom to Dirty Bottom. (LAUGHS) Right, SpongeBob?
(SpongeBob wrinkled his and nose and frowned)
SpongeBob: That's kind of gross, Plankton.
Plankton: Yeah. Yeah, too soon, huh?
(SpongeBob stared into distance)
SpongeBob: This feels like it really is the end.
Plankton: Don't worry, SpongeBob, we'll find the secret formula and everything will go back to the way it was, you know, all happy and junk.
(he pushed a rock toward SpongeBob)
Plankton: Now let's try and get some sleep.
SpongeBob: Yeah, I guess you're right.
(He lay his head on the rock)
(Plankton pulled a blanket of seaweed over SpongeBob)
Plankton: Here you are. Feel comfy?
SpongeBob: You know, Plankton, I think you might know a little bit more about teamwork than you let on.
Plankton: Good night, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Good night, Plankton.
(Exhausted from the day, SpongeBob instantly fell into a deep sleep)
(Plankton let out an evil little chuckle)
Plankton: (LAUGHS EVILLY) "Good night," indeed.
(He crept up onto SpongeBob's head)
Plankton: That's right, SpongeBob, sleep. You're hiding that formula in there somewhere.
(Plankton forced one of SpongeBob's holes open jumped into his head)
(INT. SPONGEBOB. Once inside SpongeBob's head, Plankton wasted no time going straight to his brain, hoping to find the Krabby Patty secret formula)
Plankton: Well, here goes nothing.
(He digs his way into SpongeBob's brain)
Plankton: Huh?
(EXT. COTTON CANDY FOREST, SPONGEBOB'S BRAIN. But inside the brain was colorful and bright cotton candy forest, with funny shapes and happy music)
Plankton: What is this place?
(A bottle of maple syrup ran by laughing, chased by a waffle, which was also laughing)
(Two ice cream cones threw fudge at each other)
Ice Cream Cone #1: (LAUGHS) Fudge fight!
(Plankton was confused)
Plankton: Ew! It's so sweet in here! I think my eyeball is getting a toothache!
(As he stared to search through SpongeBob's brain. Plankton heard two voices calling to him)
FEMALE POPSICLES: Hello, Plankton.
(He turned and saw two ice popsicles stuck together. They were smiling at them)
Female Popsicles: Come and play with us.
Plankton: (GASPS)
Female Popsicles: Hurry before we melt.
(Horrified, Plankton ran away, scattering a bunch of happy balloons. He passed a doughnut blowing bubbles out of a cliff, landing in a pile of cute little fur balls)
(The fur balls pushed together and transformed into a single giant kitten. It was cute but gigantic. Looming over Plankton, the kitten purred and meowed)
Plankton: (GROANS) So much sweetness. I think I'm going to be sick! (GAGS)
(He threw up, but what came out of his mouth was a giant rainbow. He stared at the rainbow in disbelief. The giant rainbow suddenly grew arms and eyes)
Rainbow: Daddy!
(Plankton screamed and ran away again)
(EXT. RIDGE, BIKINI BOTTOM — NIGHT. Soon he popped out of SpongeBob's ear and landed next to their cold campfire. His grunts and groans awakened SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Uh, Plankton? Oh, Plankton! I just had the craziest dream! And you were in it!
Plankton: I'm sure it was nothing.
(He was covered in cotton candy, cookie crumbs, and caramel sauce)
Plankton: Now go back to sleep.
(SpongeBob noticed a candy cane stuck to Plankton's head)
SpongeBob: Were you in my brain?
Plankton: What? No! That's crazy talk!
SpongeBob: Then why is there cotton candy on your antenna?
Plankton: Because, uh, because, uh... Okay, fine, I was in your brain.
(SpongeBob gasped, stepped back, and covered his head with his hands)
SpongeBob: (GASPS) What were you doing in there?
Plankton: What do you think I was doing? Looking for the secret formula.
SpongeBob: What?
Plankton: Don't act so innocent. You knew what I was up to. That's why you're pretending not to know the formula.
(SpongeBob looked shocked)
SpongeBob: I'm not pretending! I can't believe you thought I was lying.
(Plankton shrugged)
Plankton: Hey, don't take it personally. I just assume everyone is lying.
SpongeBob: That is a horrible way to live your life.
Plankton: Whatever.
SpongeBob: It is! And if we're going to be on the same team...
(Plankton jumped to his feet and shook his fist)
Plankton: Maybe I don't want to be on the tee-am! You think of that?
SpongeBob: But, Plankton, everything's better when you're part of a team.
(With that, he pulled out a pitch pipe and blew through it)
Plankton: You're not going to start singing, are you?
(In his enthusiasm, SpongeBob picked up Plankton during the song)
SpongeBob: (SINGING) Teamwork!
Plankton: Oh, brother.
SpongeBob: We can do anything when we have teamwork
Don't you think so, my friend?
Plankton: No, tee-am work
Is getting in the way of my schee-am work
What don't you comprehend?
SpongeBob: But working together is the key
Nothing's impossible when it's you and me
Plankton: I'm doing just fine on my own
SpongeBob: Work is no fun when you do it alone
Plankton: If I want it done right, I'll do it by myself
SpongeBob: But what if you need something on a higher shelf?
Plankton: But I'm the target
Of a very scary, crazy post-apocalyptic mob!
SpongeBob: Well, that's exactly why you need a partner
Helping you with this important job
I'll be the hammer, you'll be the nail
I'll be the boat and you'll be the sail
I'm the flower, you're the aroma
Plankton: Right now I wish I was in a coma
SpongeBob: Come on.
I'm here for you and you're here for me
It's better when you plus me equals we
Working together in harmony
Side by side, we can reach our dreams
'Cause nothing's impossible
When we're a team!
Plankton: All right, you can put me down.
(SpongeBob gently set Plankton on the ground)
Plankton: Well... (SIGHS) That's one minute of my life I'll never get back.
SpongeBob: Not without a time machine.
Plankton: Wait a minute. Hold that thought.
(SpongeBob grabs a thought bubble with a question mark on it)
Plankton: Now back up.
SpongeBob: (SPEAKING BACKWARDS) (REWINDING)
Plankton: Slow down.
SpongeBob: (SLOWLY) Not without a time machine.
Plankton: Hmm. Yes! (jumps onto SpongeBob's head) SpongeBob, you're a genius!
SpongeBob: (puzzled) I am?
Plankton: If we build a time machine, we can go back to before the formula disappeared. Before society broke down. Before we became the hunted!
(SpongeBob looked doubtful)
SpongeBob: That sounds great, Plankton, but how do we build a time machine?
(Plankton paced back and forth)
Plankton: Well, first we'll need a computer powerful enough to calculate the intricacies of time travel.
SpongeBob: Where would we get one of those?
Plankton: Hmm.
(BUBBLE TRANSITION to:)
(EXT. CHUM BUCKET, BIKINI BOTTOM — NIGHT. High on another cliff at the edge of Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob and Plankton looked down at the Chum Bucket. It was surrounded by guards. And they looked angry)
PLANKTON: There she is. My computer wife. They're got her tied up in the back room. I've never seen this many people at The Chum Bucket.
SpongeBob: I've never seen anyone there.
(Plankton looked exasperated)
Plankton: Now was that really necessary?
SpongeBob: Cause the food's really bad.
Plankton: Oh, come on! Really?
SpongeBob: Shh! How are we gonna sneak past those guards?
Plankton: Hmm.
(Moments later, a tire rolled down the cliff toward the Chum Bucket. When it reached the bottom of the cliff, it kept going, rolling right into the middle of a group of guards)
Fish Guard: Well, what do we have here?
(The guards pulled out some wooden sticks and metal rods and started beating the tire!)
(Behind them, SpongeBob and Plankton sneaked over to the Chum Bucket, hidden in a stack of tires)
SpongeBob: We better hurry. Those guys really hate tires.
(Plankton tried to open a small door, but it was locked)
Plankton: We'll never get in. The door's locked.
(SpongeBob climbed out of the stack of tires and examined the side of the Chum Bucket more carefully. When he looked up, he saw an open window)
SpongeBob: Wait. The window is open. Come on, Plankton, it's time for some teamwork. Give me a boost.
Plankton: Okay.
(Then he saw SpongeBob's shiny black shoe coming down at him)
Plankton: Wait a minute, no!
(Plankton tried with all his might to hold up SpongeBob by his shoe, but he just didn't have enough strength. SQUISH!)
(Not realizing what had happened. SpongeBob was still straining to reach the open window)
SpongeBob: Just a little higher, Plankton.
(Then he realized Plankton wasn't answering him)
SpongeBob: Plankton?
(When SpongeBob lifted his shoe and looked at its sole, he saw Plankton flattened across it)
Plankton: Why don't you boost me up instead?
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah, good thinking.
(SpongeBob lifted his shoe up to the open window and scraped Plankton off. Groaning, Plankton landed on the windsill. Then he jumped through the window into the Chum Bucket)
(INT. CHUM BUCKET — NIGHT. As soon as he hit the floor, he ran to the small door and opened it)
Plankton: (WHISPERING) Come on, SpongeBob, come on!
(SpongeBob squeezed through the small door and into the restaurant)
SpongeBob: We're in!
(Then he swung the door closed. SLAM!)
Plankton: Shh! There's a guard over there.
(Plankton pointed across the room at the guard. It was Patrick, snoring loudly as he slept in a chair by another door)
Plankton: Let's take the key from around his neck. We're gonna have to be very quiet. Let's walk on the tips of our toes.
(Plankton raised himself up on the tips of his toes—which SpongeBob had never before—and skittered across the floor. There was a high, tinkling sound)
(Patrick stirred in his sleep. Plankton froze, but the high tinkling sound continued. He looked back and saw SpongeBob playing a tiny piano)
Plankton: Will you stop playing that tiny piano? (WHISPERING) You're gonna get us caught.
(SpongeBob sheepishly put the tiny piano away)
SpongeBob: Sorry.
(They both tiptoed over to Patrick, who was still snoring. The key was on his chest, hanging on a chain around his neck)
Plankton: Now just reach over and grab it.
(SpongeBob took a step closer to Patrick and stepped on a floorboard. CREAK!)
Patrick: Halt! Who goes there? (SNORING)
(But then he fell right back to sleep)
(SpongeBob gently grabbed the key and pulled it down)
Plankton: Stop! Pull it over his head!
SpongeBob: Oh.
(He lifed the key up toward Patrick's head, but the chain got caught in the folds of Patrick's fat neck)
Plankton: Stop, stop, stop!
(SpongeBob let go of the key)
Plankton: Let me get up there.
(Plankton jumped onto Patrick and climbed up to the key. He yanked the chain free, but then the key slid down Patrick's chest, heading straight for his belly button. Plankton leapt onto the key and rode it like a snowboard)
(He headed into Patrick's belly button. Just as he and the key were about to completely disappear into the depths of Patrick's navel, SpongeBob plucked them out, covered in gross lint))
(They had the key! Success!)
(Except—at that very moment, Patrick woke up)
(When he saw SpongeBob and Plankton, he pulled out a giant whistle and inhaled, ready to blow a mighty blast!)
SpongeBob: (tackling Patrick) No!
(The two buddies struggled. Patrick kept trying to put his lips on the whistle, but SpongeBob kept stopping him)
SpongeBob: Plankton, help! (GRUNTS) I'll rock him, you tell him a bedtime story.
(SpongeBob flipped Patrick over onto his lap. Plankton jumped onto Patrick's belly and talked quickly)
Plankton: (STAMMERS) Once upon a time there was a big fat pink idiot who went to sleep. The end!
Patrick: Nice try, but it's gonna take more than that to...
(And he fell fast asleep)
(SpongeBob and Plankton lost no time using the key to open the door. They burst through to find...)
(...Karen chained to the wall!)
Karen: I told you, I don't have the formula, you monsters!
Plankton: Hey, baby, how are you?
(Karen was thrilled to see her husband)
Karen: Plankton! My hero! You must need something, otherwise you wouldn't have come back.
SpongeBob: Plankton has a plan to save Bikini Bottom. (unlocking Karen's chains)
(If Karen could have shaken her head, she would have)
Karen: It doesn't matter, Plankton. Krabs knows all your plans. He's been through my hard drive looking for the secret formula.
(Plankton hung his head)
Plankton: Eh, I never had it.
(Then he looked up and smiled)
Plankton: But we're going to get it. We're gonna go back in time to steal the formula before it disappeared.
Karen: Time travel! Where are you gonna find a computer that can do that?
(Instantly, her powerful computer brain gave her the answer)
Karen: Wait a minute!
(EXT. CHUM BUCKET, BIKINI BOTTOM — NIGHT. Outside, SpongeBob and Plankton sneaked away from the Chum Bucket carrying Karen's head)
SpongeBob: I've never carried a head before.
PLANKTON: You'll get used to it.
SpongeBob: It's still warm. (GASPS)
(They left the angry guards behind, still beating the tire)
Fish Guard: So you won't talk, huh? Let some air out of him.
(INT. TACO HAUS — NIGHT. At an abandoned Mexican-German restaurant called Taco Haus, SpongeBob carefully set Karen's head on the floor)
(SpongeBob looked around at the dusty restaurant)
SPONGEBOB: Is this where we're gonna build our time machine?
(Plankton nodded)
PLANKTON: Sure. It's got everything we need. A photo booth. A cuckoo clock. Some day-old chips. Now all we have to do is build it.
(Seeing another opportunity for a song about teamwork, SpongeBob happily pulled out his trusty pitch pipe and blew into it)
Plankton: Oh, no, you don't! (GRUNTS)
SpongeBob: Hey, my pitch pipe!
Plankton: Uh, I need it. For the time machine.
SpongeBob: Oh. Okay.
(Plankton took the pitch pipe into another room. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! It sounded as though he was smashing something with a hammer. FLUSH! Then it sounded like he was flushing something down a toilet)
Plankton: Installed!
(And so, working together, along with Karen's powerful brain, using the crummy materials they found in the abandoned restaurant, Plankton and SpongeBob built a time machine. When they were done, Plankton spun the hands on the cuckoo clock, and an engine roared to like. VRROOM!)
Plankton: I did it!
SpongeBob: (correcting him) No, we did it!
Plankton: Wait. We did do it. As a tee-am.
SpongeBob: A team.
Plankton: Whatever.
BOTH: (SINGING) Working together in harmony
Side by side, we can reach our dreams
'Cause nothing's impossible
When we're a team
(SpongeBob carries Karen into the time machine)
SpongeBob: Okay, now for the brains!
(INT. PHOTO BOOTH TIME MACHINE — NIGHT. He pushed Karen into the opening and she powers up)
Karen: Okay, Plankton, this is it. It's gonna take all my processors and energy to power this time machine. So if you have anything you wanna tell me, you better tell me now.
Plankton: Well, Karen... I know I've taken you for granted all these years, and I, I just wanted to say, I'm glad you're on my tee-am.
Karen: Oh, Sheldon, that's the sweetest thing you've ever...
(Plankton flips a switch and Karen shuts off and her screen flashes 12:00 AM, Plankton starts to cry)
SpongeBob: Plankton, are you crying?
Plankton: No, no, no! It's just one of the hazards of having a giant eyeball. (wipes his tear away) There's always stuff getting in there. Anyway, (CLEARS THROAT) where were we? Say "cheese."
(SpongeBob inserts a quarter in the coin slot)
SpongeBob: Cheese!
(Lights flashed! SpongeBob and Plankton hurtled back through time. When they stopped, SpongeBob cautiously slid open the photo booth's curtain and stepped out)
(INT. DESERT WASTELAND OF BIKINI BOTTOM — DAY. The time machine was sitting in the middle of a desolate wasteland. There was no sign of Bikini Bottom anywhere)
Plankton: According to my calculations, The Krusty Krab should be right here!
(SpongeBob pointed)
SpongeBob: What's that over there?
(He ran over and found Patrick! But Patrick was much, much older, with a long beard)
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Patrick?
Patrick: Is it really you?
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick, it's...
Patrick: Finally! The Great Krabby Patty Famine is over!
SpongeBob: Great Krabby Patty Famine? Oh, what year is this?
Patrick: It's Thursday.
Plankton: According to my calculations, we've only gone four days into the future.
SpongeBob: Where is everybody?
(Patrick was celebrating)
Patrick: They all gave up on you. But not me! Cause I'm not very smart.
SpongeBob: Where is The Krusty Krab?
Patrick: Right where it's always been!
(A gust of wind blew away sand from underneath Patrick, revealing that he was sitting on the Krusty Krab's old sign)
(SpongeBob and Plankton ran back to their time machine and climbed in)
(VRROOM! WHIRRR!)
(The time machine disappeared!)
(EXT. INTERDIMENSIONAL SPACECRAFT — OUTER SPACE. Once again, SpongeBob and Plankton hurtled through time and space. When they opened the photo booth curtain, they peeked out and saw...)
(...nothing. Everywhere they looked, they saw gray nothingness)
(He and Plankton stepped out of the time machine and found themselves in a great hall. They cautiously followed a long corridor. At the end of the corridor, they could see a mysterious hooded figure standing with his back to them, watching the void of space between Saturn and Jupiter)
SpongeBob: I think we may be lost in time, Plankton. Maybe we should ask this guy for directions.
(They approached the figure)
SpongeBob: Excuse me, sir? Can you tell us when we are?
(Without turning around, the figure spoke in a low voice)
Bubbles: Who dares disturb The One Who Watches?
SPONGEBOB: The One Who Watches? Your name is The One Who Watches?
Bubbles: No, my true name is Bubbles.
(The figure turned around. It was a dolphin!)
Plankton: Bubbles? (LAUGHS) What kind of a name is Bubbles?
(The hooded dolphin drew himself up with great dignity)
Bubbles: It is my ancient dolphin name.
SpongeBob: So what's a dolphin doing out here in the middle of space?
(Bubbles looked out the window)
Bubbles: My kind have been watching and protecting the galaxy for... (CLICKING) Hmm. 10,000 years!
(SpongeBob suddenly understood)
SpongeBob: Oh, so you're the one keeping the meteors from hitting us.
(Bubbles nodded solemnly)
BUBBLES: Yes, I am. And I could really do with a potty break. Would you mind keeping an eye on things?
SpongeBob: Sure thing. (thought of something) But, uh, what am I keeping my eye on?
(But Bubbles had already left, closing the bathroom door behind him as muzak plays. SpongeBob walked over to the window and stood still, staring)
Plankton: What are you doing?
SpongeBob: I'm watching.
Plankton: We don't even know what we're watching for.
(As SpongeBob stared out the window, two planets orbited into view)
SPONGEBOB: Maybe we should split up the workload. You watch the one with the big red eye. I'll watch the one with the ringy thingies. Like a team.
(As SpongeBob and Plankton watched, the two planets slowly moved each other)
Plankton: Okay, mine's moving.
SpongeBob: Mine, too.
Plankton: No, this doesn't seem right. Should we call Bubbles?
SpongeBob: Let's give him a minute. He's been holding it for 10,000 years.
(BOOM! The two planets crashed into each other and exploded! Littles pieces of the planets fell all around Plankton and SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: (GASPS) I'm pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. Come on, Plankton, we got to clean this up before Bubbles gets back! (PANTING)
(He tried to sweep the debris under the carpet with a broom)
(Bubbles came back)
Bubbles: (EXHALES) Much better. Yes. You two are free to go.
(But then he noticed the dirt and pebbles on the floor. He also noticed SpongeBob's broom and SpongeBob ditches the broom and makes an innocent face. Bubbles looked up in the sky)
Bubbles: What happened to Saturn and Jupiter?
(Saturn's rings fall off)
Bubbles: You were supposed to... (CLICKING) (GROANING) (CLICKING) Keep them from smashing into each other!
SpongeBob: Sorry.
Bubbles: Now (CLICKING) I am going to lose my job! (stares at SpongeBob and Plankton) And you will lose your lives.
(Bubbles fired lasers at SpongeBob and Plankton! ZAP! ZAP! They turned and ran away, screaming. They headed for the time machine)
SpongeBob: Quarter me!
(Plankton tossed him a quarter, but SpongeBob missed it! It landed near the time machine)
(SpongeBob and Plankton dove into the machine. SpongeBob reached out, snatched the quarter, and dropped it into the slot. VRROOM! WHIRR!)
(VRRRRROOOOMMM!)
((INT. OFFICE, THE KRUSTY KRAB — DAY. Back in the not-very-distant past, Past SpongeBoB walked into Mr. Krabs's office. He gasped when he saw the safe open)
Past SpongeBob: (GASPS) Plankton?
(Past Plankton head SpongeBob and turned around, knocking over the fake formula bottle with the real formula bottle)
Past Plankton: SpongeBob!
(FLASH! The time machine appeared in a burst of light, distracting Past Plankton and Past SpongeBob)
(Plankton stepped out of the time machine)
Past SpongeBob: Plankton? (GASPS)
(SpongeBob stepped out of the time machine)
Past Plankton: SpongeBob? Who are you two supposed to be?
Plankton: I'm you, from the future.
(SpongeBob pointed toward his past self with his thumb)
SpongeBob: And I'm him from the future.
Past Plankton: So you traveled back through time to help me? Great thinking.
(SpongeBob shook his head)
SpongeBob: Nope. He's helping me.
Past SpongeBob: (GASPS) But he's the enemy!
SpongeBob: Was the enemy. Now we're a team.
Past Plankton: What? A tee-am?
Plankton: (correcting him) A team!
(He turned to SpongeBob)
Plankton: All right, go get the formula.
(SpongeBob ran toward the safe)
(Past SpongeBob couldn't believe what he was seeing)
Past SpongeBob: What have I become?
SpongeBob: All right, Plankton.
(As SpongeBob groped in the safe, trying to take the bottle with the secret formula from Past Plankton, his past self talked to Plankton)
Past SpongeBob: Do you have flying boatmobiles in the future?
Plankton: We only came back from the day after tomorrow, dimwit.
Past SpongeBob: Are there rocket packs?
(SpongeBob tries to get the formula)
Past SpongeBob: Did they outlaw-clothes in the future?
Plankton: No!
Past SpongeBob: Then why are you naked?
Plankton: Because they don't make clothes in my size.
(SpongeBob kept trying to grab Past Plankton, but Past Plankton dodged him)
SpongeBob: Hold still, you!
Past SpongeBob: If you're from the future, what am I gonna say next?
Plankton: Something moronic?
Past SpongeBob: Wow.
Plankton: Hey, hurry up over there!
(SpongeBob quickly made a big grab for Past Plankton but accidentally knocked over the secret formula bottle)
Past Plankton: Uh-oh. That ain't good.
(An alarm went off. BWHOOP! BWHOOP! BWHOOP!)
FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Initiating lockdown sequence.
Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob, we gotta get out of here!
(SpongeBob grabbed a bottle from the safe)
SpongeBob: Got it!
Plankton: Come on!
(They ran into the time machine. VRROOM! WHIRRR! In a flash, the time machine disappeared)
(INT. PHOTO BOOTH TIME MACHINE. SpongeBob laughed)
SpongeBob: Oh, that was crazy!
Plankton: So that's what teamwork is.
(Plankton looked at the bottle, taking in its beauty)
Plankton: All those years I tried to make you mine, and I finally did it. I mean, we did it!
(EXT. SHIP — DAY. In Burger Beard's book, a picture showed SpongeBob and Plankton high-fiving. Burger Beard read to the seagulls)
BURGER BEARD: And so it would seem that our heroes have accomplished all they had set out to do.
(While he read to the seagulls, Burger Beard steered the ship)
Andy: Now that's an ending.
Seagull: Whoo-hoo!
Kyle: Andy, cue the music.
(Andy gets out an accordion)
Andy: (VOCALIZING)
(But Burger Beard dropped the book onto the deck)
BURGER BEARD: Oh, no. That's not the end.
(SEAGULLS WHIMPERING)
Kyle: So you mean the ending might be even happier?
(Burger Beard gets out his telescope and his telescope view of the beach)
(MAN 1 LAUGHING)
MAN 2: Here we go!
Burger Beard: Land ho!
(EXT. BEACH, TOWN — DAY. The pirate steered his ship up onto the shore and kept going!)
BOY: Mom, where's my towel?
(His ship had wheels on the bottom! Burger Beard drove his ship through a crowded beach, forcing all the sunbathers to scatter)
BURGER BEARD: Whoa!
MAN: Whoa! Dude, look at that.
WOMAN: What?
Burger Beard: I'm coming! Come on, you lazy people! Out of my way! I'm coming!
(The beachgoers were confused. Why was this pirate driving his ship across the sand?)
Burger Beard: Out of there!
Seagulls: Too fast!/Slow down!
(EXT. PARKING PLACE, TOWN — DAY. He steered his ship straight into a parking place between two food trucks)
Burger Beard: Yeah! All right, you feathered rats, time to shove off!
(The seagulls looked at each other. Why had the pirate changed from a nice man who read them a story to a mean guy who told them to shove off?)
Andy: What? Why?
Burger Beard: Well, I can't have you pooping all over my restaurant, can I?
Andy: Restaurant? I thought this was a pirate ship.
Burger Beard: Oh, it is. But it is also...
(The pirate opened hatches, turned on a stove, and tied on an apron. His ship had indeed turned into a food truck: THE BURGER MOBILE)
Burger Beard: A-ha! My very own food truck! (LAUGHING)
SEAGULL 1: A what?
Burger Beard: Uh, you know, a restaurant on wheels.
Seagull 2: Like a garbage truck.
Burger Beard: No! Are you trying to scare away my customers?
Seagull 3: Well, we're not leaving till we see how the story ends.
(Burger Beard thought for a moment)
Burger Beard: No problem. You guys like a little snack while you wait?
Seagull 3: Sure, I'll take a curdled milk.
Andy: How about a fish head?
Seagull 3: And a French fry covered in sand.
(The pirate reached into his food truck, pulled out a tray)
Burger Beard: Who wants some hot wings?
(The seagulls drew back, horrified)
Andy: Wait a minute. Where's Kyle?
Burger Beard: Which one of you is next?
(ALL SCREAMING)
SEAGULL 1: He's a madman!
SEAGULL 2: Let's get out of here!
Seagull: You crazy, man! You crazy!
(They all flew off, terrified)
(Burger Beard chuckled. He heard a toilet flush)
KYLE: Bye-bye, Mr. Poop. Now I can get my gold sticker.
(Burger Beard turned to see the door of a tiny portable potty open. Little Kyle came out)
Kyle: Oh, hey, Mr. Piwate. I wouldn't go in there if I were you. (CHUCKLES)
Burger Beard: (over megaphone) Boo!
(Kyle shrieked as his feathers blew off)
Kyle: (SCREAMS) I can't fly without my feathers.
(He whistles for a cab which drives up and Kyle gets in the back seat)
Pigeon Cabbie: Where to, Mac?
Kyle: Just dwive.
(The cab drives away. Laughing a loud pirate loud, Burger Beard turned back to his food truck and got to work on his evil plan...)

Oh...
Squidward!
Still out of Krabby Patties.
Does anyone have a picture
-of ketchup?
-(DOOR OPENS)
I done figgered it out!
(ALL GASPING)
We have angered the sandwich gods
and only a sacrifice will appease them!
Well, that sounds reasonable.
Soon our
post-apoca-whatchamacallit will be over,
and Krabby Patties
will rain down from above!
Rain down? Well, that's no good.
How will I get me money?
Oh, you don't like that idea?
Then we'll sacrifice you!
ALL: (CHANTING) Sacrifice! Sacrifice!
(WHIMPERS)
It's not a good idea to have a sacrifice
on an empty stomach.
Who wants a Krabby Patty?
(ALL CHEERING)
SpongeBob, is that me formuler?
Oh, happy day!
I missed you so much.
Where was it? Where did you find it?
Well, Plankton and I built a time machine
out of an old photo booth
and then we added...
-Cheese!
-Patrick, wait!
-(ALL GASPING)
-It's okay, everyone.
The post-apocalypse is almost over!
(ALL CHEERING)
Ain't that right, SpongeBob?
"Eugene, eat my
"subaquatic air bubbles.
"Love, Plankton"?
-(GASPS)
-You grabbed the wrong bottle!
I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs!
That's okay, SpongeBob.
We'll just have to sacrifice
the two of you then.
Prepare them for the sacrifice!
I bring a message from the dawn of time!
What is it, Patrick?
Run! (SCREAMS)
-(ROARS)
-(ALL GASPING)
Squidosaurus rex!
-(ROARS)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
Well, Plankton,
I guess we failed
to accomplish our goals.
"We"?
But even failure hurts a little less
when you do it as a team, right?
This is all your fault!
-(GROWLING)
-(ALL GASPING)
My fault?
You're the one who stole
the wrong secret formula.
I didn't know there were two bottles.
Of course you didn't!
Because you got cotton candy for brains!
ALL: Ooh!
No, seriously, he really does.
Well, we wouldn't even be in this mess
in the first place, if you
weren't so selfish and evil.
I was selfish and evil,
until you ruined everything
with your "teamwork"!
Oh! You take that back!
You are the worst teammate ever!
No!
-(ALL GASPING)
-(BREATHING HEAVILY)
-(WAILING)
-GASPS)
Oh, my Neptune, he's mixing
garbage and recycling!
(YELLING)
(ALL GASPING)
(PANTING)
(CROWD MURMURING)
Look at me.
Why, I've become like all of you.
Savage.
Fear-ridden.
Selfish.
An entire town of formerly good citizens
turned into heartless freaks,
bent on their own self-prever...
Self-preter...
-"Preservation?"
-Yes!
We've become alienated
from each other.
Each one an island unto himself,
concerned only with ourselves.
And in the name off all fishhood,
I am not about to let that happen!
And so,
if a sacrifice is need to restore
Bikini Bottom to its former glory...
Then I am willing
to take one for the team!
You heard him!
(CROWD CLAMORING)
ALL: (CHANTING) Sacrifice!
Sacrifice! Sacrifice!
Sacrifice!
Sacrifice! Sacrifice!
(GASPS)
Let the sacrifice begin!
ALL: (CHANTING) Patties! Patties!
And I thought my friends were primitive.
(SNIFFING)
Don't cry, me boy.
Everything's going to be fine, for us.
Oh, I'm not crying,
Mr. Krabs. (SNIFFING)
I smell Krabby Patties!
That's right. Keep thinking
happy thoughts. Now!
ALL: (CHANTING) Sacrifice! Sacrifice!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(GRUNTS)
(SNIFFS)
The boy's right.
MAN: My leg!
I smell 'em, too!
Okay, SpongeBob, go get it!
Wait. You mean we can
just take this stuff off?
Go find that Krabby Patty!
Come on, everybody!
I've got some Krabby Patty orders to fill!
(ALL CHEERING)
(SNIFFING)
It's coming from over there!
(SHIP CREAKING)
(WIND HOWLING)
(SCREAMING)
(ALL PANTING)
(SCREECHING)
Come on, guys, I think
it's just over this hill.
(ALL GROANING)
How do you expect us
to go up to the surface?
We won't be able to breathe!
All right, all secondary characters
-come with me.
-(ALL GROANING)
-Yeah, I'm with you guys.
-No way, Squidward.
You're going up there with us.
My feet hurt.
-Patrick, you don't have feet.
-(GASPS)
It's not fair! You have feet.
Sandy has feet. Squidward has feet.
Actually, I have four feet.
(GROANS)
SPONGEBOB: It's not about feet.
SQUIDWARD: What is it about, then?
SPONGEBOB: It's about being a team
and sticking together, no matter what!
The only way we're going
up there is if some
fairy godmother shows up
and helps us breathe air.
-Bubbles!
-SpongeBob, you know this guy?
Don't hurt us!
We're sorry we got you fired.
Hurt you? (CLICKING)
Why, I traveled back
through time to thank you.
I've been stuck in that job for eons.
I need a change,
but I was too afraid to go for it.
Well, Bubbles, I'm glad we could help.
Now it is my turn to help.
I can get you safety to the surface.
Now! (CLICKING)
Quick, all of you, get in my mouth.
Come on, guys, let's go!
There's no way I'm climbing
into some dolphin's mouth.
Yeah. This guy just wants a free lunch.
Guys, if Bubbles, has the courage
to quit his dead-end, nowhere job
and travel back through time to help us,
then we need to have the courage to...
(ALL SCREAMING)
Well, I never thought
I'd be eaten by a dolphin.
no, if he was eating us,
he'd be chewing us up
and we'd be going down there.
This is what you call riding in style.
(SIGHS) Not a lot of legroom in here.
Well, maybe if you didn't have four feet!
(GRUNTS)
Note to self:
Never stow away in a gym sock.
What's happening? I feel tingly!
(ALL SCREAMING)
-(ALL GRUNTING)
-SQUIDWARD: Ow, my neck!
I've done all I can.
The rest is up to you.
Thank you, Bubbles!
Farewell, SpongeBob.
Farewell, Bubbles.
Now to update my... (CLICKING)
(CHUCKLES)
Resume!
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Ah! Fresh air! Oh, how I've missed you.
Ugh! This place smells awful!
(SNIFFING) Come on, guys.
Let's get the Krabby Patty formula
and save Bikini Bottom.
Whoa!
What is this place?
KRABS: I have a bad feeling about this.
Maybe this guy knows
where we are. He looks smart.
He's got five heads.
Uh, sir? Could you tell us
where to find a Krabby Patty?
Hey, my friend's talking to you!
-What?
-(SNORING)
(GASPS)
A giant, hairy porpoise!
(GASPS) It's beached!
It's suffering. Poor thing.
Y'all, those aren't porpoises.
-All hands on deck!
-Oh, brother.
We need to get these guys
back in the water.
SPONGEBOB: Come on! Push!
KRABS: Heave!
ALL: Ho!
-Heave!
-ALL: Ho!
-Heave!
-ALL: Ho!
-Put your back into it!
-(ALL GRUNTING)
Come on, push!
SQUIDWARD: Well, I guess
this is where that
horrible smell was coming from.
-(METAL CLANGS)
-(ALL GROAN)
(GASPS)
Whoa!
Excuse me, do you know
where we can get
a Krabby Patty around here?
Invaders!
Uh-oh.
You get out of my sister's sand castle!
-GIRL: Mom!
-(ALL SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANS)
Oh!
Where have you been all my life?
Ow. Whoa!
WOMAN: Mmm.
Oh, Frank.
That feels so good.
(GOBBLING)
Gross!
-Oh, hey, Squidward.
-(GROANING)
Sandy! (SNIFFING)
The Krabby Patty!
I think I see where it's coming from!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
SpongeBob, you will not believe the size
of the ice creams here.
I wonder what other
giant snacks they have.
(GASPS) Cotton candy?
(BOTH GASPING)
(CHUCKLES)
Wow.
If you ate all that,
you'd have enough energy
to run around the whole world!
BOTH: Whoo-hoo!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(BOTH LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
Ugh! When is the sugar gonna wear off?
(SNIFFING)
Hey, guys, I smell Krabby Patties!
-I think it's this way!
-Huh?
(ALL SCREAMING)
KRABS: Don't leave me, Squidward!
(SCREAMING)
-Now what?
-We're never going to make it!
ALL: Huh?
(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)
-Heave!
-Ho!
-Heave!
-Ho!
-Heave!
-Ho!
We're doing it, guys!
-MAN: Dude, watch out!
-(PEOPLE GROANING)
Hold on!
-(SCREAMING)
-SQUIDWARD: SpongeBob!
-Huh? Lean!
-Starboard! (GRUNTS)
(WOMAN GASPS)
ALL: Whoa!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL GROANING)
(GASPS)
-What the... (GASPS)
-What?
'Home of the Krabby Patty"?
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
But The Krusty Krab
is the home of the Krabby Patty!
Mr. Krabs, what are we gonna do?
$8.99 for a Krabby Patty?
Why didn't I think of that?
-(SIZZLING)
-(SINGING)
(GASPS)
-You!
-Huh?
Cease and desist that
unauthorized patty flipping!
Yeah, that's my job!
BURGER BEARD: How did you get here?
You cannot breathe air.
Well, there was this magical dolphin
from the future who shot us
out of his blowhole, and...
Wait! Wait.
That's not in the book.
Book?
There is no magical dolphin in this story.
What story?
The story of how Bikini
Bottom was brought to its knees
when its beloved Krabby Patty formula
was stolen by me,
Burger Beard.
How does it end?
Well, let me see.
It looks like, uh,
Burger Beard becomes the richest
food truck proprietor in all the land.
But how did you steal the formula?
That was easy.
I simply rewrote the story, and...
Poof!
-(GASPS)
-Me formuler!
What do you mean, rewrote the story?
Watch this.
"The brave
"and handsome
"Burger Beard
-"banished our poor heroes..."
-(GASPS)
"...to be stranded on
"Pelican Island!"
(ALL SCREAMING)
(BURGER BEARD LAUGHING)
"The End"!
(SQUAWKING)
Oh, this looks bad.
And these guys look hungry!
-Look out!
-(SCREECHING)
(YELPING)
(SCREAMING)
Nice. So this is what teamwork get you.
Here Take Squidward, you vile beasts!
I want to be on a new team.
This one's broken.
Sandy, you're smart.
You have any ideas?
I ain't been too smart
since I found this old piece of paper!
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
-What?
-KRABS: Incoming!
(SCREECHING)
Wait a minute!
(GRUNTS) Now all we need
-is some ink!
-(SQUIDWARD SQUIRTS)
Oh. Which Squidward
has helpfully provided.
It happens when I'm nervous.
Whatever you're going to do,
make it quick! They're closing in on us!
I'm gonna write us an ending.
(ROARS)
Will it be a happy ending?
It's going to be superpowered!
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
I'll show you a happy ending.
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
Huh?
Da-da-da-da!
-Patrick!
-Huh?
Hey, I got feet!
Oh, what is in these things?
We'll take one secret formula to go!
Clear the area, citizens.
There's going to be
some serious aft-kicking here.
(CAMERA CLICKS)
But I banished you.
Sour Note?
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
SEAGULL 1: My tiny little eardrums!
Hey, hey, wait! Hold on! Hold on!
Wait! Wait! Customers!
Wait, please!
SPONGEBOB: Mr. Superawesomeness,
take him down.
-Huh?
-Huh?
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(GIGGLES)
Um, maybe we should have picked
a better superpower for you Patrick.
Let's see you get out of this one!
-(GASPS)
-Ka-ching!
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS)
Get ready for the Invinci-Bubble!
No!
My book!
All right, team,
time for hands in the middle!
Yes! Huh?
Oh, yeah.
(GRUNTS)
Great job, guys. We did it!
ALL: Ew!
Huh?
What?
Sandy? Is that you?
You can call me The Rodent!
Hi-yah!
Hey, where'd the pirate go?
Hmm. Uh...
(GASPS)
Mmm.
It looks liked Burger Beard
forget the first rule of mobile fry cooking.
Always batten down your grease traps.
Follow that grease, team!
(TIRE SCREECHING)
(CHITTERING)
(GRUNTS)
(ENGINE REVS)
BURGER BEARD: There she blows.
(LAUGHING)
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
SPONGEBOB: Whoo-hoo!
(LAUGHING)
(TIRE SCREECHING)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
SPONGEBOB: Whoo!
-(GRUNTS)
-Oh, no, you don't.
-(GRUNTS)
-(SCREAMING)
Ow!
(GRUNTS)
-(SCREAMS)
-(GRUNTS) Oh!
(PATRICK GROANING)
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
(WHIMPERS)
(GRUNTS)
He's after the book!
Sandy, use your squirrel powers!
Roger that!
Oh, she's never gonna make it!
Huh? Everyone...
Lean!
(SANDY SCREAMS)
(ALL GROANING)
(GRUNTS)
-That's what you get.
-(LAUGHS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(LAUGHING)
(BOOK APPROACHING)
Come here.
Come here.
The book!
Sour Note!
(YELLS)
(SCREAMING)
All right, Burger Beard,
prepare to be teamworked!
I'm going to scrub my armpits with you.
Uh, I don't get it.
Because you're a sponge.
Duh.
Oh.
Get him, The Rodent!
-Consider him roasted!
-(PEOPLE GASING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(PEANUTS WHIZZING)
(YELLS)
Huh?
Aw, nuts! I'm all out of nuts!
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
Justice is best soft served.
(WOMAN GASPS)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Patrick, I should have
never doubted your powers!
(CACKLING)
(GROANING)
I can't think of a sweeter way to go.
Ha! It's all mine!
Not so fast, Booger Beard!
(YELPS)
(SCREAMING)
Me formuler. Huh?
This will make you feel a little butter.
Not melted butter!
(SCREAMING)
Mr. Krabs!
Voila!
-(BURGER BEARD LAUGHING)
-Uh-oh.
(SCREAMS)
A-ha!
Oh, yeah!
Huh?
Hoo-hoo!
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
Ta-da!
They're beautiful!
-Patrick!
-(GROWLS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHING)
(PANTING)
BURGER BEARD: I gotcha!
SpongeBob!
-Patrick?
-Talk to me, buddy.
I'm... I'm seeing a bright light.
Is this better?
Much. Thank you.
But the discomfort I feel
in my eyes is nothing
compared to the shame I feel
for letting down the Patty.
For letting down Bikini Bottom.
Yeah, SpongeBob, you really blew it.
No, Patrick, we blew it, as a team.
Nope. This one's on you.
(ENGINE STARTS)
PLANKTON: Where do you
think you're going?
(LAUGHING)
Why don't you get going, little fella,
before you hurt yourself?
(RUMBLING)
(GRUNTS)
Plankton?
It's Plank-Ton!
Come on down from there, little fella.
You wouldn't want to get hurt.
Huh?
(GRUNTS)
(GROWLS)
(GRUNTS)
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Huh? (SCREAMS)
My eye!
He's getting away!
(PANTING)
Ready for a Plank-Ton of bubbles?
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(SPONGEBOB LAUGHING)
(PANTING)
(GROANING)
The formula, please.
Come on. Team up with me.
We'll be rich and powerful! Huh?
PLANKTON: No, thanks.
I'm already part of a teamwork.
(SIGHS)
(SCREAMING)
(MUTTERING)
Can we do hands in the middle again?
Yes, we can, Patrick.
But this time, there's one more
hand to go in the middle.
Plankton?
Hmm.
(GASPS) Oh, no.
(WHIMPERS)
-Here you go, Krabs.
-Huh?
She's all yours.
This doesn't have
another insulting note in it, does it?
No, that's the old me.
The one who turned his back
on everything important
just to have that formula all to himself.
But I realize now that keeping
something to myself is...
Selfish.
Especially when that something
is the Krabby Patty.
Okay, everybody, let's get back
to Bikini Bottom and... (GASPS)
Oh, no! I don't have the page!
-Oh, no!
-(GASPS)
SPONGEBOB: It must be
back on Pelican Island!
Don't worry. I thought of everything.
All right, SpongeBob, take us home.
Thanks.
-Squidward!
Oh, yeah.
Come on, it's time to go back
and open up The Krusty Krab!
Are you out of your patty-flipping mind?
I'll never leave this place!
I mean, look at me. I'm a god!
No, Squidward, you're a cashier.
Wait a minute! What? No!
(SIGHS)
Well, it was fun while lasted.
Don't be sad, Squidward.
I left you a little surprise under your shirt!
SQUIDWARD: Rock-hard abs!
Aw, SpongeBob, you're okay in my book.
Aw, shucks.
Excuse us! We'd like 3,000
Krabby Patties, please!
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
(IMITATES CASH REGISTER)
That sound must mean
things are back to normal.
Who wants 3,000 Krabby Patties?
(ALL CHEERING)
First one's for you, Gary.
Extra mayo, just the way you like it.
(MEOWS)
A-ha!
Caught you red-handed!
Gary hates mayo.
Plankton!
Yp to your old tricks again already, eh?
Hey, I'm just
putting things back back the way they were.
What do you have
to say about this, Gary?
-(ROARS)
-Oh, shrimp.
(PLANKTON SCREAMING)
(ROARS)
See you later, tee-am-mate!
(EXT. BIKINI ATOLL — DAY. A seagull puts Burger Beard's hat on his head)
Seagull: Now can we sing it?
SEAGULLS: Yeah!
(The seagulls start pleading)
Kyle: Pwease, Mr. Piwate?
Burger Beard: Oh, Kyle... How can I say no to you?
(A seagull places a picture frame in front of Burger Beard)
Burger Beard: Are you ready, kids?
SEAGULLS: Aye-aye, Captain!
Burger Beard: Uh, what did you say? There's sand in my ears and I can't hear you!
SEAGULLS: Aye-aye, Captain!
ALL: Oh...
(They all start singing the SpongeBob SquarePants Theme Song as the scene becomes animated)
Painty the Pirate: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Painty the Pirate: Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!
ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Painty the Pirate: If nautical nonsense be something you wish
ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Painty the Pirate: The drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants!
Painty the Pirate: Ready?
ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants!
BUBBLES: Stop it.
ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants!
BUBBLES: That's enough.
ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants!
(The portal suddenly opened and Bubbles appeared in the scene)
Bubbles: Silence!
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
Seagull: Oh, man. I like that song. What happened?
Bubbles: I don't like that song and I put an end to it.
Seagull: Well, this music is terrible.
Bubbles: I suppose you're entitled to your... Wait. Why am I talking to you?
(RAPPING) You're an inferior species
What could you know about taste?
You get excited by a pile of trash on a plate
While I'm a spacetime traveler
Fabric unraveler
Saving the Patty's in the past
But now I'm rapping ya
That song's so bad
That I can't even stand it
Dispense with this nonsense at once
I demand it!
You all stand no chance against my power
Don't try it
Just sit there with your flappy beak shut and be quiet!
Seagulls: Hold up, fish guts
You can't insult us
The Seagull crew
We're in no mood to hear (SQUAWKS) from you!
We're floating on the breeze
Party in seven seas
You got your nose on your head
You blow up when you sneeze
Why's this guy so mean?
'Cause he's older than a fossil
All alone up in space
Yeah, that must be awful
Painty the Pirate: Here, knock it off!
Yer making the movie too long!
Seagull: Why don't you take us back in time so we can finish our song?
Bubbles: (HUFFS) Fine.
(Rewinding)
ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
(The camera zooms out to show a couple of whales emerging from water and hillbillies with banjos on elephants and an airplane passes with a banner that "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS." The elephants trumpeted and fireworks exploded in the air while the portal opened and Bubbles appeared again)
Bubbles: That was pretty good, actually.
(THE END)

(Reggae music plays as the credits start to roll with SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Pearl, Larry, Mrs. Puff, Sandy and Squidward walking in a conga line to the song Squeeze Me)
PATRICK: Oh, yeah, sorry! (catching up with SpongeBob)
Pearl: This dance is so last year.
(Mr. Krabs takes Patrick's wallet and Patrick's shorts fall down, pockets the cash and throws the wallet at Mrs. Puff, which makes her bloat and the conga line continues with Patrick's shorts around his ankles)
Squidward: You know what this needs? A little interpretive dance!
(He does the dance move as seen in Culture Shock)

(The real credits)
CAST (in order of appearance)
Antonio Banderas — Burger Beard
Tom Kenny — SpongeBob, Gary, Agreeable Mob Member, Waffle
Clancy Brown — Mr. Krabs
Rodger Bumpass — Squidward, Doctor, Angry Mob Member #2, Doughnut, Squidasaurus Rex
Bill Fagerbakke — Patrick, Male Fish, Eager Customer
Carolyn Lawrence — Sandy
Mr. Lawrence — Plankton, Plankton Robot, News Anchor Fish
Matt Berry — Bubbles
Eric Bauza — Seagull
Tim Conway — Seagull
Eddie Deezen — Seagull
Rob Paulsen — Seagull
Kevin Michael Richardson — Seagull
April Stewart — Seagull
Cree Summer — Seagull
Billy West — Seagull
Carlos Alazraqui — Seagull, Dead Parrot
Nolan North — Seagull, Dead Parrot, Pigeon Cabbie
Paul Tibbitt — Kyle, Helpful Angry Mob Member
Jill Talley — Karen (the Computer Wife), Harold's Wife, Ice Cream Cone #2
Dee Bradley Baker — Sandals, Customer #1, Fish on Bubble, Perch Perkins, Angry Fish, Maple Syrup Jar, Waffle, Ice Cream Cone #1, Furballs, Giant Cute Kitty, Rainbow, Spotlight Guard, Angry Guard #1, Tough Mob Member
Sirena Irwin — Computer Voice, Shocked Mob Member
Mary Jo Catlett — Mrs. Puff
Mark Fite — Customer #2
Thomas F. Wilson — Angry Customer #1
Riki Lindhome — Popsicle
Kate Micucci — Popsicle
Stephen Hillenburg — Baby in Stroller
Lori Alan — Pearl

(GARY ROARS)
(SCREAMING)