Friday, May 22, 2020

Human Again from Beauty and the Beast

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Right, then,
you all know why we're here.
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We have exactly 12 hours,
36 minutes and 15 seconds
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to create the most magical,
spontaneous, romantic atmosphere
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Known to man or beast.
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(CHUCKLES)
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(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
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Right. Need I remind you
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that if the last petal falls
from this rose
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the spell will never be broken?
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Very well.
You all know your assignments.
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Half of you to the west wing,
half of you to the east wing,
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the rest of you, come with me.
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-(BARKING)
-(YELLS)
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Lighten up, Cogsworth,
and let nature take its course.
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It's obvious there's a spark
between them.
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Yes, but there's no harm
in fanning the flames, you know, a little.
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Besides, they must fall in love tonight
if we ever expect to be human again.
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-Ah, human again.
-Human again.
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Yes, think what that means.
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(CHIMING)
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(SINGING) I'll be cooking again
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Be good-looking again
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With a mademoiselle on each arm
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When I'm human again
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Only human again.
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Poised and polished
and gleaming with charm
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I'll be courting again
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Chic and sporting again
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Which should cause
several husbands alarms
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(LAUGHS)
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I'll hop down off this shelf
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and, tout de suite, be myself
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ALL: I can't wait to be human again
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When we're human again
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Only human again
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When we're knickknacks
and what-nots no more
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When we're human again
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Good and human again
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Oh, chéri, won't it all be top-drawer?
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I'll wear lipstick and rouge
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And I won't be so huge
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Why, I'll easily fit through that door
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I'll exude savior-faire
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I'll wear gowns, I'll have hair
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It's my prayer to be human again
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When we're human again
_________________________________
Only human again
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When the world once more
starts making sense
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I'll unwind for a change
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Really? That would be strange
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Can I help it if I'm tense?
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In a shack by the sea
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I'll sit back sipping tea
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Let my early retirement commence
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Far from fools made of wax
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I'll get down to brass tacks and relax
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ALL: When I'm human again
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So, sweep that dust from the floor
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Let's let some light in the room
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I can feel, I can tell
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Someone might break the spell
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Any day now
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(BARKING)
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Shine up the brass on the floor
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Alert the dustbin and broom
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If it all goes as planned
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Our time may be at hand
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Any day now
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Open the shutters
and let in some air
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Put these here
and put those over there
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Sweep up the years
of sadness and tears
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And throw them away
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We'll be human again
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Only human again
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When the girl finally sets us all free
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Cheeks a-blooming again
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We're assuming again
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We're resume our long lost
joie de vivre
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We'll be playing again
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Holidaying again
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And we're praying it's ASAP
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(YOWLING)
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We will push, we will shove
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They will both fall in love
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And we'll finally be human again
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"For never was a story of more woe
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"Than this of Juilet and her Romeo"
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Hmm.
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-Could you read it again?
-Here, why don't you read it to me?
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All right.
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-I can't.
-You mean, you never learned?
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I learned. A little.
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It's just been so long.
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Well, here, I'll help you.
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-Let's start here.
-Here.
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-Okay. "Twoh..."
-"Two."
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"Two." I knew that. "Two households..."
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ALL: (SINGING) We'll be dancing again
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We'll be twirling again
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We'll be whirling around
with such ease
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When we're human again
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Only human again
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We'll go waltzing
those old one-two-threes
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We'll be floating again
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We'll be gliding again
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Stepping, striding
as fine as you please
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Like a real human does
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I'll be all that I was
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On that glorious morn
when we're finally reborn
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And we're all of us human
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Again
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