(SQUEAKING)
(WHOOSHING)
(ROCKET FIRING)
(ROCKET FIRING)
(HYDRAULICS WHOOSHING)
(BREATHING APPARATUS HISSING)
Buzz Lightyear mission log.
All signs point to this planet as the location of Zurg's fortress,
but there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere.
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
(ALL WHIRRING)
(GRUNTS)
(LASER BUZZING)
(SCREAMING)
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
(BEEPING)
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
Come to me, my prey.
(CONTINUES GASPING)
(GRUNTS)
(ELECTRONIC BUZZING)
(SCREAMING)
To infinity and beyond!
(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)
So, we meet again, Buzz Lightyear, for the last time.
Not today, Zurg!
(CRIES OUT)
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
No, no, no, no.
Oh, you almost had him.
I'm never gonna defeat Zurg!
Sure, you will, Rex.
In fact, you're a better Buzz than I am.
But look at my little arms!
I can't press the "fire" button and jump at the same time!
Where is it? Where is it?
Woody?
Huh? (GRUNTS)
(CONTINUES GRUNTING)
BOTH: Ooh.
Hang on, cowboy!
Woody, are you all right?
(GRUNTS) Oh. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine, Buzz. Okay.
Here's your list of things to do while I'm gone.
Batteries need to be changed.
Toys in the bottom of the chest need to be rotated.
Oh, and make sure everyone attends Mr. Spell's seminar
on what to do if you or a part of you is swallowed.
Okay? Okay. Good. Okay.
Woody, you haven't found your hat yet, have you?
No! And Andy's leaving for cowboy camp any minute,
and I can't find it anywhere!
Don't worry, Woody. In just a few hours,
you'll be sitting around a campfire with Andy making delicious, hot "sch'moes."
They're called s'mores, Buzz.
Right. Right. Of course.
Has anyone found Woody's hat yet?
SERGEANT: Keep looking, men. Dig deeper! Negatory. Still searching.
The lawn gnome next door says it's not in the yard, but he'll keep lookin'.
(SHEEP BLEATING)
It's not in Molly's room. We've looked everywhere.
I found it.
You found my hat?
Your hat? No. The missus lost her earring.
Oh, my little sweet potato!
Oh, you found it!
Oh, it's so nice
to have a big, strong spud around the house.
Ooh! (GIGGLES)
Oh, great. That's just great.
This'll be the first year I miss cowboy camp, all because of my stupid hat!
Woody, look under your boot.
Don't be silly. My hat is not under my boot.
Would you just look?
(GROANS) No hat. Just the word "Andy."
Uh-huh. And the boy who wrote that
would take you to camp with or without your hat.
I'm sorry, Bo.
It's just that I've been lookin' forward to this all year.
It's my one time with just me and Andy. (GASPS)
You're cute when you care.
Bo, not in front of Buzz.
(PURRS) Let him look.
(SHEEP BLEATING)
Miss Peep, your sheep!
(WHISTLES)
(REX SCREAMS, GRUNTS)
This is Al from Al's Toy Barn,
and I'm sittin' on good deals.
Whoa!
Ow! I think I'm feeling a deal hatching right now.
Whoa! Let's see what we got.
We got boats for a buck, Beanies for a buck...
Turn it off! Someone's gonna hear!
Which one is off?
Buck, buck, buck! And that's cheap, cheap, cheap!
So hurry on down...
For cryin' out loud, it's this one.
I despise that chicken.
Fellas! Fellas!
Okay, I got some good news, and I got some bad news.
What news?
The good news is I found your hat, Woody.
My hat! Slink, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Where'd you find it?
Well, that's the bad news.
(DOG BARKING)
Oh, it's Buster!
SERGEANT: Canine alert! Man your battle stations!
Let's move, move, move!
(BUSTER GROWLING)
Woody! Hide! Quick!
(WOODY GASPS)
(BARKING)
(CONTINUES BARKING)
(BEEPING ELECTRONICALLY)
(SNIFFING)
(CONTINUES BARKING)
(GROWLING)
(SNARLING)
(SPUTTERING) Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay! You found me!
Buster, all right. (GROANS)
Hey, how did he do, Hamm?
Looks like a new record.
Okay, boy. Sit.
Reach for the sky.
(WHIMPERING)
(YELPS)
Gotcha!
(CHUCKLES) Great job, boy.
Who's gonna miss me while I'm gone, huh?
Who's gonna miss me?
(PANTING)
Who's gonna miss me?
WOMAN: Andy, you got all your stuff?
Have a good weekend, everybody. I'll see you Sunday night.
It's in my room.
(BARKING)
Stick 'em up.
I guess we'll work on that later.
Hey, Woody. Ready to go to cowboy camp?
Andy, honey, come on. Five minutes, and we're leavin'.
Five minutes. Hmm.
Help, help! Somebody help me!
Let her go, evil Dr. Pork Chop!
ANDY: (EVIL VOICE) Never!
You must choose, Sheriff Woody. How shall she die?
Shark, or death by monkeys? (IMITATES MONKEY CHITTERING)
Choose!
ANDY: (IMITATING WOODY) I choose Buzz Lightyear!
What? That's not a choice!
ANDY: (IMITATING BUZZ) To infinity and beyond!
I'll save you, Miss Peep.
My hero. (IMITATES KISSING)
ANDY: (AS WOODY) Thanks, Buzz.
ANDY: (AS BUZZ) No problem, buddy.
You should never tangle with the unstoppable duo
of Woody and Buzz Lightyear!
Oh, no.
Andy, let's go! Molly's already in her car seat.
But, Mom, Woody's arm ripped.
Oh, no.
Maybe we can fix him on the way.
No, just leave him.
I'm sorry, honey, but you know toys don't last forever.
(SIGHS)
(GASPS)
What happened?
Woody's been shelved.
(REX GASPS)
Andy!
SLINKY: Woody?
BO PEEP: Woody? Honey, are you okay?
ANDY: Yee-haw! Ride 'em, cowboy! (WHOOPS)
He's back? Hey, everybody! Andy's back!
He's back early from cowboy camp!
Places, everybody! Andy's coming!
(ALL GASPING, CHATTERING)
Yeah!
(HUMMING LONE RANGER THEME SONG)
Hey, Woody! Did you miss me?
Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap. Ride 'em, cowboy!
Ohh. I forgot. You're broken.
I don't wanna play with you anymore.
(GASPING)
No, Andy! No. No, Andy! No!
(CHOKING) Andy. Andy. (GARBLED)
(VOICE ECHOING) Bye, Woody.
No! No! Andy!
(SCREAMING, GASPING)
(GRUNTS, COUGHS)
(COUGHING)
(CONTINUES COUGHING)
WOODY: Wheezy, is that you?
Hey, Woody.
What are you doing up here?
I thought Mom took you to get your squeaker fixed months ago.
Andy was so upset.
Nah.
She just told him that to calm him down
and then put me on the shelf.
Why didn't you yell for help?
Well, I tried squeakin'.
But I'm still broken. No one could hear me. (WHEEZES)
(COUGHS) Besides, the dust aggravates my condition.
(WHEEZES, COUGHS)
What's the point in prolonging the inevitable?
We're all just one stitch away from here to there.
Yard sale? Yard sale!
Yard sale! Guys, wake up, wake up! There's a yard sale outside!
Yard sale?
Sarge, emergency roll call!
Sir, yes, sir! Red alert!
All civilians fall in position now!
Single file! Let's move, move, move!
Hamm?
Here.
Potato Head, Mr. and Mrs.?
BOTH: Here.
Troikas. Check, check, check, check, check.
I hate yard sales!
(YELPS) Someone's coming!
(GASPS)
Okay. Let's see what's up here.
(PUZZLE PIECES RATTLING)
Bye, Woody.
Wheezy! Think, think, Woody. Think, think, think.
Ooh... (BLOWS RASPBERRY, SPUTTERS, WHISTLES)
(BARKING)
Hey. Here, boy. Here, Buster!
Up here! No, no, no, no, no, no!
Okay, boy. To the yard sale! Hyah!
MR. POTATO HEAD: What's goin' on? He's nuts.
His arm ain't that bad.
Don't do it, Woody! We love you!
WOODY: Careful on the steps, now.
(GRUNTING)
(BUSTER PANTS)
(CHILD LAUGHING)
Okay, boy. Let's go. And keep it casual.
WOODY: Not that casual.
(CHILD BABBLING)
HAMM: Piggy bank coming through, coming through.
REX: Is he out there?
BUZZ: There he is.
(WOODY GRUNTS)
(MAN WHISTLING)
REX: He's getting in the box!
HAMM: He's sellin' himself for 25 cents!
Woody, you're worth more than that.
BUZZ: Hold on. Hold on. He's got something.
It's Wheezy!
ALL: Wheezy?
Hey, it's not suicide. It's a rescue.
(WOODY GRUNTS)
(WHEEZY SQUEAKING)
Good boy, Buster. Hold still. There. There you go, pal.
Bless you, Woody.
All right, now.
Back to Andy's room. Hyah!
(TOYS LAUGHING)
BUZZ: Way to go, cowboy.
SLINKY: Golly bob howdy!
Woody, I'm slipping!
(YELLS, GRUNTS)
(CHILD LAUGHING) Mommy... Mommy, look! Look at this!
Mommy, look! It's a cowboy dolly!
Hey, that's not her toy!
SLINKY: What's that little gal think she's doin'?
Mommy, Mommy, can we get it? Please? Mommy, please?
Oh, honey. You don't want that toy. It's broken.
VOICE BOX: There's a snake in my boot.
(MAN GASPING)
Original hand-painted face. Natural-dyed, blanket-stitched vest!
Little rip. Fixable. Oh, if only you had your hand-stitched, polyvinyl...
(GASPS, LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) A hat! I found him!
I found him! I found him!
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
ANDY'S MOM Buster! Quiet down!
Excuse me. Can I help you?
Yes.
You can help take his paws off my pal.
I'll give you 50 cents for all this junk.
Oh, now, how did this get down here?
BUZZ: Hand her the sheriff.
Nice and easy.
$5.
I'm sorry. It's an old family toy.
(GROANS)
Now just walk away.
Wait.
The other way.
I'll give you 50 bucks for it.
50 bucks ain't bad.
MOTHER: It's not for sale.
Everything's for sale.
Or trade. You like my watch?
Sorry.
He's safe. Way to go Andy's mom!
She showed him!
Molly, don't touch that, sweetie.
(SPUTTERING, GROANING)
MR. POTATO HEAD: Yeah. Go home, Mr. Fancy Car.
BUZZ: Hold on.
HAMM: What's up?
REX: What is it, Buzz?
(CRASH)
TOYS: What's happening?
What's he doing?
I can't watch! Can someone cover my eyes?
BUZZ: He's stealin' Woody!
REX: What? He can't take Woody.
It's illegal.
Where's he going?
Do something.
BO PEEP: Buzz!
(GASPING)
MR. POTATO HEAD: Get him, Buzz.
Where's the red jacket?
(GASPING, GRUNTING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
(GRUNTING)
(CRIES OUT, GRUNTS)
Why would someone steal Woody?
(GASPING, GRUNTING)
All right. Let's review this one more time.
At precisely 8:32-ish,
Exhibit A, Woody, was kidnapped.
Exhibit B, a composite sketch of the kidnapper.
He didn't have a beard like that.
Fine. Etch, give him a shave.
SLINKY: The kidnapper was bigger than that.
Oh, picky, picky, picky.
Let's just go straight to Exhibit F.
The kidnapper's vehicle.
Now, the vehicle fled the scene in this direction.
Your eyes are in backwards. It went the other way.
Hey. Put a cork in it.
How do you spell FBI?
My crime scene!
Oh, why don't you watch where you're going, Godspilla?
I didn't know there was a crime scene.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
A little quiet, please. Thank you.
Huh?
MR. SPELL: Lazy toy brain.
Lousy try, Brian.
What are you doing, Buzz?
It's some sort of message encoded on that vehicle's I.D. tag.
Liz try bran.
It's just a license plate.
It's just a jumble of letters.
Yeah, and there are about
3.5 million registered cars in the tri-county area alone.
(BUZZ GROANING)
Lou's thigh burn.
Oh, this can't help. Let's leave Buzz to play with his toys.
Toy. Toy. Toy. Hold on!
(MR. SPELL BEEPING ELECTRONICALLY)
Al's Toy Barn.
Al's Toy Barn!
Etch, draw that man in a chicken suit.
(ALL GASPING)
It's the chicken man!
BUZZ: That's our guy.
I knew there was something I didn't like about that chicken.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be right there.
And we're gonna do this commercial in one take, do you hear me,
because I am in the middle of something really important.
(PHONE BEEPS OFF)
(CHUCKLING MANIACALLY)
You, my little cowboy friend,
are gonna make me big buck, buck, bucks.
(GASPING, STRAINING)
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING, GRUNTING)
(SIREN BLARING)
(GASPS)
Andy!
I can't believe I have to drive all the way to work on a Saturday.
All the way to work!
(HORNS HONKING)
(GRUNTING)
What? Whoa!
(SCREAMING)
Hey! Stop! Horsey, stop! Stop! Sit, boy!
Stop it! (SCREAMS) Sit, I said!
Whoa! Whoa. (GRUNTS)
Yee-haw!
(CRIES OUT)
It's you! It's you! It's you! It's you! It's you!
It's really you!
What's me?
Whoo-whee!
VOICE BOX: There's a snake in my boot.
Ha! It is you!
Please stop saying that.
Prospector said someday you'd come.
Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln!
The Prospector! He'll wanna meet ya! (WHISTLES)
Say "hello" to the Prospector!
It... It's a box.
He's mint in the box.
Never been opened.
PETE: Turn me around, Bullseye, so I can see.
Why, the prodigal son has returned.
Yee-haw!
It's you! It's you!
You're here! It's you! It's you! It's you!
Okay. I'm officially freaked-out now.
Oh, we've waited countless years for this day.
It's good to see you, Woody.
Listen. I don't know...
Hey, how do you know my name?
Everyone knows your name, Wood-y.
Why, you don't know who you are, do you? Bullseye?
(GASPS)
That's me.
(GASPING)
Wow.
Holy cow.
(WESTERN-STYLE THEME SONG PLAYS)
ANNOUNCER: Cowboy Crunchies,
the cereal that's sugar-frosted and dipped in chocolate,
proudly presents...
♪ Woody's Roundup Come on, it's time to play
♪ There's Jessie the yodeling cowgirl
♪ Yodel-ay-hee-hoo
(CHORUS YODELING)
Look it! That's me!
♪ Bullseye, he's Woody's horse
♪ He's a smart one
♪ Pete the old Prospector
Has anyone seen my pick?
♪ And the man himself Of course, it's time for Sheriff Woody
♪ He's the very best
♪ He's the rootin'-est tootin'-est cowboy
♪ In the wild, wild west
♪ Woody's Roundup ♪
I can't find it!
It doesn't seem to be on any of these stations.
Keep looking.
You're going too slow.
Let me take the wheel.
(JUMBLED AUDIO)
REX: It's too fast.
How can you even tell what's on?
I can tell.
(AL SQUAWKS)
ALL: Stop! Back, back, back!
Too late. I'm in the 40s. Got to go 'round the horn. It's faster.
ALL: Back, back! Stop!
And look for the giant chicken!
Now, Etch!
That's where I need to go.
You can't go, Buzz. You'll never make it there.
Woody once risked his life to save me.
I couldn't call myself his friend
if I weren't willing to do the same.
So who's with me?
I'm packing you an extra pair of shoes
and your angry eyes just in case.
This is for Woody when you find him.
(CLEARS THROAT) All right,
but I don't think it'll mean the same coming from me.
Mr. Buzz Lightyear, you just gotta save my pal Woody.
(COUGHING, WHEEZING)
I'll do my best, son.
Okay, fellas. Let's roll.
Geronimo!
You'd think with all my video game experience,
I'd be feeling more prepared.
(SCREAMING)
The idea is to let go.
We'll be back before Andy gets home.
Don't talk to any toy you don't know!
To Al's Toy Barn and beyond!
TV JESSIE: They don't call this
the old abandoned mine for nothin', Prospector.
I reckon we oughta get outta here.
TV PETE: Where's my gold? Hold on. I'll light me a candle.
This sure is a fast-burnin' wick.
Blast us to smithereens! That there's dynamite!
Holy tarnation.
I'll call for help.
♪ Yodel-ay-hee-hoo ♪
Hey, critters, go get Sheriff Woody. Now scurry!
TV WOODY: Good job, Bullseye.
I reckon the new schoolhouse is finally done.
(CRITTERS CHITTERING)
What's that?
Jessie and Prospector are trapped in the old abandoned mine,
and Prospector just lit a stick of dynamite thinkin' it was a candle,
and now they're about to be blown to smithereens?
RABBIT: Mmm-hmm.
Ride like the wind, Bullseye!
You're fannin' the flames, Jessie!
It takes brains to put out that fire.
Yow! My biscuits are burnin'!
ANNOUNCER: Will Woody and Bullseye land to safety?
Can they reach Jessie and Stinky Pete in time?
Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion, "Woody's Finest Hour."
All right! All right! Next tape!
Hey, wait. What happened? What happens next?
Come on! Let's see the next episode!
PETE: That's it.
What?
The show was canceled after that.
Wait. What about the gold mine and the cute little critters and the dynamite?
That was a great show! I mean, why cancel it?
Two words, Sput-nik.
Once the astronauts went up,
children only wanted to play with space toys.
I know how that feels. But, still, my own show.
I mean, look at all this stuff!
JESSIE: Didn't you know?
Why, you're valuable property!
I wish the guys could see this.
Hey-howdy-hey. That's me.
I'm on a yo-yo. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, hey. Nice teeth. And yet still a good-lookin' guy.
Oh, it's a bank! Cool.
What do you do? You push the hat, and out...
Oh, out come bubbles. Clever.
Oh, wow. Hey, what's this thing do?
(LAUGHING) I get it.
"There's a snake in my boot."
Oh, hey, Bullseye. Go long! Go long! Whoo!
(DISTORTED INSTRUMENTAL)
A record player!
I haven't seen one of these in ages.
(FAST-SPEED YODELING)
(SINGING SLOWS)
Okay, now. Slow.
(EXTRA-SLOW SINGING)
Oh, that's funny, Bullseye.
Hop on, cowgirl! Think fast!
JESSIE: (GASPS) Oh.
Not bad.
♪ It's time for Woody's Roundup
Whee!
♪ He's the very best
(FAST-SPEED) ♪ He's the rootin'-est tootin'-est cowboy... ♪
Look at us! We're a complete set!
Now it's on to the museum.
Museum?
(RECORD SCRATCHING)
(JESSIE SCREAMING)
What museum?
PETE: THE museum.
We're being sold to the Konishi Toy Museum in Tokyo.
That's in Japan!
Japan?
No, no, no, no, no. I can't go to Japan.
(CHUCKLES) What do you mean?
I got to get back home to my owner, Andy. Hey, look, look. See?
(GASPS) He still has an owner.
Oh, my goodness.
(HYPERVENTILATING) No. Can't go.
I can't do storage again. I just can't!
Jessie. Jessie.
I won't go back in the dark!
What's the matter? What's wrong with her?
Well, we've been in storage for a long time
waiting for you.
Why me?
The museum's
only interested in the collection if you're in it, Woody.
Without you, we go back into storage.
It's that simple.
It's not fair!
How can you do this to us?
Hey, look. I'm sorry, but this is all a big mistake.
You see, I was in this yard sale...
Yard sale?
Why were you in a yard sale if you have an owner?
Well, I wasn't supposed to be there.
I was trying to save another toy when...
Was it because you're damaged? Hmm? Did this Andy break you?
Yeah, but... No, no, no, no, no! It was... It was an accident.
I mean...
Sounds like he really loves you.
It's not like that, okay? And I'm not going to any museum!
Well, I'm not going back into storage!
(DOOR OPENING)
(GASPS)
PETE: Al's coming!
(GASPS)
Go! Go on, Jessie.
Oh...
Jessie, look at me.
I promise you'll come out of the box. Now go! Go!
(AL HUMMING)
It's show time!
(CHUCKLES) Oh, money, baby. Money, money, money.
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
And now
the main attraction.
(RESUMES HUMMING)
(GASPS, SCREAMS)
No! His arm! Where's his arm?
Oh... No. No, no, no, no!
What am I gonna do? I know. I know.
(MUTTERING) Come on! Come on! Come on! Pick up the phone!
MAN: Hello?
It's me. It's Al.
I got an emergency.
I'm busy.
Yes, we're all busy.
Look. It has to be tonight.
(MAN RESPONDS, INDISTINCT)
All right. All right. But first thing in the morning.
(SCREAMS) It's gone! I can't believe it!
My arm is completely gone!
All right. Come here. Let me see that.
(GASPING)
Oh, it's just a popped seam,
easily repaired.
You should consider yourself lucky.
Lucky?
Are you shrink-wrapped? I am missing my arm!
Big deal.
Let him go. I'm sure his precious Andy
is dying to play with a one-armed cowboy doll.
Why, Jessie, you know he wouldn't last an hour on the streets in his condition.
It's a dangerous world out there for a toy.
(OWL HOOTING)
(GASPING)
(CHUCKLES)
All right. Nobody look till I get my cork back in.
Good work, men. Two blocks down and only 19 more to go.
What?
ALL: Nineteen?
Are we gonna do this all night? My parts are killing me.
Come on, fellas.
Did Woody give up when Sid had me strapped to a rocket?
ALL: No.
No.
And did he give up when you threw him out of the back of that moving van?
Oh, you had to bring that up.
No, he didn't!
We have a friend in need,
and we will not rest until he's safe in Andy's room!
(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Now let's move out!
ANNOUNCER: And that concludes our broadcast day.
(STATIC)
(SNORING)
(SNORTING)
(CRUNCHING)
(CRUNCHING)
(GASPS)
Bullseye. Bullseye, go, go, go, go.
Come on. You don't wanna help me. I'm the bad guy.
You're gonna go back in storage because of me, remember? Just go.
Bullseye... (SPUTTERING) All right. All right.
But you have got to keep quiet. Come on.
Over here. Attaboy.
Okay, Bullseye. Upsy-daisy.
(CONTINUES SNORING)
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
(CHUCKLING)
Psst. Bullseye. Cut it out.
Stop it. Psst. Stop it, Bullseye. Stop it. Stop it.
Stop it.
(STOMACH RUMBLING)
(BURPING)
(GROANING)
(GAGGING)
(EXHALING)
(SNORTING)
Phew.
(REMOTE CLICKS)
♪ Woody's Roundup Come on, it's time to play ♪
(GASPING)
No, Officer! I swear. (MUTTERING) What? (GASPS)
(GASPING, MUTTERING)
Uh... Oh.
Get in there. There you go. Cheap case.
Where is the remote?
(THEME SONG CONTINUES)
Where is the remote?
(GRUNTING)
Why don't I put it in the same place every... Oh, here it is.
(YAWNING)
(MUTTERING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
What is your problem? Look, I'm sorry I can't help you guys out.
Really, I am. But you didn't have to go and pull a stunt like that.
What? You think I did that?
Oh, right, right. The TV just happened to turn on,
and the remote magically ended up in front of you!
You calling me a liar?
Well, if the boot fits...
Say that again.
(ENUNCIATING) If the boot fits.
Okay, cowboy.
(GRUNTING)
Yah!
How do you like that? Take it back! Take it back!
Don't think just 'cause you're a girl, I'm gonna take it easy on you.
(SCREAMS)
Jessie, Woody, you stop this at once.
(CRIES OUT)
(GASPS)
I don't know how that television turned on,
but fighting about it isn't helping anything.
If I had both my arms...
The fact is, you don't, Woody,
so I suggest you just wait until morning.
The cleaner will come, fix your arm...
And then I'm outta here!
Oh, no, no. Bullseye, don't take it that way.
It's just that Andy...
Andy, Andy, Andy.
That's all he ever talks about.
(SIGHS)
Hey, Buzz, can we slow down?
May I remind you that some of us are carrying over $6 in change?
Losing health units. Must rest.
Is everyone present and accounted for?
Not quite everyone.
Who's behind?
Mine.
Hey, guys. Why do the toys cross the road?
Not now, Hamm.
Oh, I love riddles. Why?
To get to the chicken on the other side! (LAUGHS)
(ALL WHOOPING)
REX: The chicken!
Oh, well. We tried.
We'll have to cross.
(ALL GASPING)
What the...
You're not turning me into a mashed potato.
I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.
There must be a safe way.
BUZZ: Okay. Here's our chance. Ready. Set. Go.
(WHIMPERING)
Drop!
(AIR HISSING)
(HORNS HONKING)
BUZZ: Go!
BUZZ: Drop! I said "drop"!
(HORNS HONKING)
BUZZ: Go!
(MUMBLING)
BUZZ: Drop.
(HORN HONKING, TIRES SQUEALING)
BUZZ: Go.
That went well.
(HORNS HONKING)
Good job, troops. We're that much closer to Woody.
(HONKING CONTINUES)
(RINGING)
Oh, thank goodness you're here.
Is the specimen ready for cleaning?
So, how long is this gonna take?
You can't rush art.
(MOOING)
(WHEELS SQUEAKING)
SLINKY: Oh, no. It's closed.
We're not preschool toys, Slinky. We can read.
(DOORS MOOING)
MAN: Hey, Joe, you're late.
We've got a ton of toys to unload.
All right. All right. I'm comin'. I'm comin'.
All right. Let's go.
REX: But the sign says it's closed.
No, no, no, no. All together. Now!
(ALL GRUNTING)
(DOORS MOOING)
(GIGGLING)
Whoa, Nelly! How are we going to find Woody in this place?
Look for Al. We find Al, we find Woody. Now move out!
Woody?
Woody.
(MOTOR PUMPING)
(AIR HISSING)
There you go. (CHUCKLES)
He's for display only.
You handle him too much, he's not gonna last.
It's amazing. You're a genius. He's just like new.
(GASPS)
Wow.
(GASPS)
(WHISTLES) I could use one of those.
You know, they make it so you can't defeat Zurg unless you buy this book.
It's extortion. That's what it is.
Hey, I always thought the golden sector was the only...
(SCREAMS)
HAMM: I thought we could search in style.
Nice going there, Hamm. So how about letting a toy with fingers drive?
Am I really that fat?
(WHISTLES)
(GRUNTING)
Ow!
What are you doing?
You're in direct violation
of Code 6404.5,
stating all Space Rangers are to be in hyper-sleep
until awakened by authorized personnel.
(GRUNTS)
Oh, no.
You're breakin' ranks, Ranger.
Buzz Lightyear to Star Command.
I've got an AWOL Space Ranger.
Tell me I wasn't this deluded.
No back talk! I have a laser, and I will use it.
(LASER HUMMING)
Mean the laser that's a light bulb?
(GASPS)
Has your mind been melded? You could've killed me, Space Ranger.
Or should I say "traitor"?
I don't have time for this.
Halt!
I order you to halt!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Listen to me. Listen. Wait.
We've been down this aisle already.
We've never been down this aisle.
It's pink.
Face it. We're lost.
HAMM: Back it up. Back it up.
(ALL GIGGLING)
(BEACH MUSIC PLAYS)
What a great party!
How low can you go? How low can you go?
(GIGGLING CONTINUES)
Excuse me, ladies.
Does anyone know where we might find the Al of Al's Toy Barn?
I can help.
I'm Tour Guide Barbie.
Please keep your hands, arms and accessories inside the car,
and no flash photography.
Thank you.
I'm a married spud.
I'm a married spud.
Then make room for the single fellas.
BARBIE: To our right is the Hot Wheels aisle. Developed in 1967,
the original series had 16 cars, including the Corvette.
I beg your pardon, ma'am, but where's Al's office?
Please hold all questions until the end of the tour. Thank you.
It says how you defeat Zurg! Look!
Excuse me, sir.
Get this outta here, geekosaur.
SLINKY: Look out!
Stop, stop, stop!
(ALL YELLING)
(REX WHIMPERING)
HAMM: Turn into the spin, Barbie!
(SCREAMS) My source of power!
No! Come back! (YELLS) Hey!
Wait up! Hey! Come on! Slow down!
Dinosaur overboard! Slow down! (CRIES OUT)
Remain seated, please.
(RECITES IN SPANISH)
Ow! Listen to me. Listen to me. You're not really a Space Ranger.
You're a toy. We're all toys. Do you hear me?
Well, that should hold you till the court martial.
Let me go! You don't realize what you're doing!
And this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle.
In 1995, shortsighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand.
Hey, Buzz!
Halt! Who goes there?
Quit clownin' around and get in the car!
Buzz, Buzz, I know how to defeat Zurg!
You do?
Come on. I'll tell you on the way.
No, no, guys! You've got the wrong Buzz!
You've got the wrong Buzz!
Say, where'd you get the cool belt, Buzz?
Well, slotted pig, they're standard issue.
No!
(FLASH POPPING)
(AL CHUCKLING)
It's like printing my own money.
(PHONE RINGING)
(MAN SPEAKING, INDISTINCT)
Yeah? What?
Oh, oh. Mr. Konishi. Yes, I have the pictures right here.
In fact, I'm in the car right now
on my way to the office to fax them to you.
I'm going through a tunnel! I'm breakin' up!
Oh, wow! Will you look at me? It's like I'm fresh out of the box!
Look at this stitching! Andy's gonna have a hard time rippin' this! Hello!
Hi! Hello!
Great. Now you can go.
Well, what a good idea.
PETE: Woody, don't be mad at Jessie.
She's been through more than you know.
Why not make amends before you leave, huh?
It's the least you can do.
(GROANS) All right. But I don't know what good it'll do.
Hey. Whatcha doin' way up here?
Thought I'd get one last look at the sun before I get packed away again.
Look, Jessie. I know you hate me for leaving,
but I have to go back.
I'm still Andy's toy.
Well, if you knew him, you'd understand. Andy's a real...
Let me guess. Andy's a real special kid.
And to him, you're his buddy, his best friend.
And when Andy plays with you, it's like even though you're not moving,
you feel like you're alive, because that's how he sees you.
How did you know that?
Because Emily was just the same.
She was my whole world.
WOMAN: ♪ When somebody loved me
♪ Everything was beautiful
♪ Every hour we spent together
♪ Lives within my heart
♪ And when she was sad
♪ I was there to dry her tears
♪ And when she was happy, so was I
♪ When she loved me
♪ Through the Summer and the Fall
♪ We had each other That was all
♪ Just she and I together
♪ Like it was meant to be
♪ And when she was lonely
♪ I was there to comfort her
♪ And I knew that
♪ She loved me
(BOTH GIGGLING)
♪ So the years went by
♪ I stayed the same
♪ But she began to drift away
♪ I was left alone
♪ Still I waited for the day
♪ When she'd say
♪ I will always love you
♪ Lonely and forgotten
♪ I never thought she'd look my way
♪ She smiled at me and held me
♪ Just like she used to do
♪ Like she loved me
♪ When she loved me
♪ When somebody loved me
♪ Everything was beautiful
♪ Every hour we spent together
♪ Lives within my heart
♪ When she loved me ♪
You never forget kids like Emily or Andy.
(WHISPERING) But they forget you.
Jessie, I didn't know.
Just go.
How long will it last, Woody? Do you really think
Andy is gonna take you to college or on his honeymoon?
Andy's growing up, and there's nothing you can do about it.
It's your choice, Woody.
You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever.
You'll be adored by children for generations.
Who am I to break up the Roundup gang?
Hey, Woody, are you in here?
Nah. This one's empty too.
Woody! Woody!
Woody!
Pardon me, gentlemen,
but have either of you seen a cowboy doll with a bad arm?
Why, no, I haven't.
Hey! He was talkin' to me!
No! He was talkin' to me!
Why, you...
(BOTH GRUNTING)
You see, all along,
we thought the way into Zurg's fortress was through the main gate,
but in fact the secret entrance is to the left, hidden in the shadows.
To the left in the shadows. Got it.
(AL SPEAKING JAPANESE)
Someone's coming.
Everyone, take cover.
It was a big pile-up, but I don't want to bore you with the details.
Yes. Now, let me confirm your fax number.
MAN: 011...
011. Wait.
That's a lot of numbers. No. I got it.
It's him.
The chicken man.
Funny, he doesn't look like poultry.
SLINKY: That's the kidnapper, all right.
A kidnapper! An agent of Zurg if I ever saw one.
(GRUNTING)
And the piece de resistance!
I promise the collection will be the crown jewel of your museum.
It's Woody!
Now that I have your attention,
imagine we added another zero to the price, huh?
(MAN SPEAKING, INDISTINCT)
I'll pay anything you want.
Yes! Yes!
You got a deal! I'll be on the next flight to Japan!
Quick. Into the poultry man's cargo unit.
He'll lead us to Zurg. Move, move, move!
(SPUTTERING) Don't touch my moustache!
(SCATTING HAPPILY)
(GRUNTS)
(AL SPEAKING, INDISTINCT)
Rich, rich, rich, rich!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(GASPS)
(HUMMING HAPPILY)
(GRUNTS)
(CONTINUES HUMMING)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
Huh?
(GRUNTS)
(DOORS MOOING)
(RADAR BUZZING)
(GROWLS) Destroy Buzz Lightyear.
Destroy Buzz Lightyear. Destroy Buzz Lightyear.
REX: Augh! He didn't take the bag!
No time to lose!
(GRUNTING)
He's ascending in the vertical transporter.
All right, everyone. Hang on. We're gonna blast through the roof.
Uh, Buzz?
To infinity and beyond!
What are you? Insane? We're wasting time. Stand still, Godzilla.
(GRUNTING)
I don't understand.
Somehow my fuel cells have gone dry.
(SCREAMS)
(CHUCKLES)
(LASER BUZZING)
(LASER STOPS)
(BELL DINGS)
Blast. He's on level 23.
How are we gonna get up there?
Maybe if we find some balloons, we could float to the top.
Are you kidding? I say we stack ourselves up,
push the intercom and pretend we're delivering a pizza.
How about a ham sandwich with fries and a hot dog?
What about me?
You can be the toy that comes with the meal.
Troops! Over here. (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
Just like you said, lizard man. "In the shadows to the left."
Okay. Let's move!
Mission log. Have infiltrated enemy territory without detection
and are making our way through the bowels of Zurg's fortress.
You know, I think that Buzz aisle went to his head.
SLINKY: Oh, no. Which way do we go?
This way!
MR. POTATO HEAD: What makes you so sure?
I'm Buzz Lightyear. I'm always sure.
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
We've been detected. The walls! They're closing in! Quick!
Help me prop up vegetable man, or we're done for.
Hey! Put me down, you moron!
Guys, look! It's not the walls! It's the elevator!
Come on. We've got no time to lose. Everyone, grab hold!
HAMM: What?
SLINKY: Huh?
Uh, Buzz, why not just take the elevator?
They'll be expecting that.
REX: Hey, Buzz! Stop!
Slow down!
To overnight six packages to Japan is how much?
(WOMAN SPEAKING, INDISTINCT)
That's in yen, right?
Dollars? (GROANS) You are deliberately taking advantage
of people in a hurry, you know that?
All right. (SPUTTERING) I'll do it! All right. Fine.
I'll have the stuff in the lobby, and you'd better be here in 15 minutes,
because I have a plane to catch, do you hear me?
(DOOR CLOSING)
Whoo-hoo!
We're finally going. Can you believe it?
(LAUGHS) That's custom-fitted
foam insulation you'll be riding in, Bullseye.
First class all the way!
You know what? I'm actually excited about this.
I mean it. I really am!
And why shouldn't you be?
Yee-haw!
Whoa!
♪ Swing your partner do-si-do ♪
Look at you, dancing cowboy!
Look! I'm doin' the box step!
(PETE LAUGHS)
(GRUNTING)
Uh-oh. Hey, heads up down there!
Whoa! Pork bellies are fallin'.
Hey, how much farther, Buzz?
(GRUNTING) Halfway there.
(GROANING) My arms can't hold on much longer!
(TOYS CRYING OUT)
(GRUNTING) Too heavy.
What was I thinking?
My antigravity servos!
(HYDRAULIC WHIRRING)
Hang tight, everyone. I'm going to let go of the wall.
What?
He wouldn't.
One...
He would.
Two...
(ALL PROTEST)
(TOYS SCREAMING)
Three!
(TOYS LANDING, GRUNTING)
To infinity and beyond!
Approaching destination. Reengaging gravity.
(HYDRAULIC WHIRRING)
(LASER BUZZING)
Area secure.
(ALL MOANING)
It's okay, troops.
The antigravity sickness will wear off momentarily. Now let's move!
Remind me to glue his helmet shut when we get back.
How 'bout givin' me a little intro there, Jessie?
Introducing the high-ridin'-est cowboy around...
(GIGGLES)
You forgot "rootin'-tootin'-est"!
The high-ridin'-est, rootin'-tootin'-est cowboy hero of all time,
Sheriff Woody!
Say, little missy, you notice any trouble around these parts?
Nary a bit, not with Sheriff Woody around.
Wait, wait, wait! I got it! This is great! Okay!
The bandits got the critters tied up in the burning barn. Now the best part!
Help us! The barn's on fire!
I've got ya, critters. No need to worry.
Woody saves the day again!
Yee-haw!
Now, where's my trusty steed Bullseye?
I have to ride off into the sunset... Oh!
Ride like the wind, Bullseye! (GRUNTS)
(GROANS, CHUCKLES)
(GIGGLING) Watch it. Wait. I'm ticklish, okay?
Oh, you are?
No, no, no. Cut it out. Stop it. Stop it.
(LAUGHING)
No, please. No, no. Stop! Stop!
(LASER BUZZING)
Mission log. Have reached Zurg's command deck,
but no sign of him or his wooden captive.
WOODY: Please, no!
That's Woody!
(HOWLING)
This way!
WOODY: Please, please, no!
MR. POTATO HEAD: Buzz, can you see? What's going on?
(SHOUTING, PROTESTS CONTINUE)
JESSIE: Take that! MR. POTATO HEAD: To the left.
No, your left.
Take it up higher.
BUZZ: What's happening?
Oh, it's horrible. They... They're torturing him.
(GASPS) What are we gonna do, Buzz?
Use your head!
But I don't wanna use my head!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL MOANING)
What's going on here?
Buzz, guys! Hey, how did you find me?
Watch yourself!
SLINKY: We're here to spring ya, Woody!
(YELLING)
You heard of kung fu?
Well, get ready for pork chop.
Prepare to meet Mr. Angry Eyes! (SNARLING)
Hold it, now! Hey, you don't understand!
These are my friends!
Yeah, we're his friends!
No, Rex, I mean they're my friends!
(GROWLING)
Hey, stop it!
Leave him alone, springy dog! Hey!
Grab Woody, and let's go!
Fellas, hold it! Buzz, put me down!
Quick! To the vent!
They're stealing him.
PETE: No!
(WOODY YELLING)
Hold it right there!
Buzz?
You again?
Thank goodness you're all right.
Buzz, what is going on?
Hold on. I am Buzz Lightyear, and I'm in charge of this detachment.
No, I'm Buzz Lightyear.
I'm Buzz Lightyear!
I'm Buzz Lightyear!
So, who's the real Buzz?
I am!
Don't let this impostor fool you!
He's been trained by Zurg himself to mimic my every move.
(GASPS, CHOKES)
(CONTINUES GASPING)
ALL: Buzz!
I had a feelin' it was you.
My front end just had to catch up with my back end.
Will somebody please explain what's going on?
It's all right, Space Ranger. It's a code 546.
(GASPS) You mean it's a...
Yes.
And he's a... (GASPS)
Oh, yeah.
Your Majesty.
(CHUCKLES)
Woody, you're in danger here. We need to leave now.
Al's selling you to a toy museum
in Japan!
(CHUCKLING) I know.
It's okay, Buzz. I actually wanna go.
What?
Are you crazy?
Look, the thing is, I'm a rare Sheriff Woody doll,
and these guys are my Roundup gang.
What are you talking about?
Woody's Roundup!
Oh, it's this great old TV show, and I was the star. See? Now look.
Look! Look at me! See? That's me!
This is weirdin' me out.
Buzz, it was a national phenomenon.
There was all this merchandise that got packed up.
You should have seen it.
There was a record player and a yo-yo. Buzz, I was a yo-yo!
"Was"?
Stop this nonsense and let's go.
Nah, Buzz. (SIGHS)
I can't go. I can't abandon these guys.
They need me to get into this museum.
Without me, they'll go back into storage. Maybe forever!
Woody, you're not a collector's item. You're a child's plaything.
You are a toy!
For how much longer? One more rip, and Andy's done with me.
And what do I do then, Buzz? Huh? You tell me.
Somewhere in that pad of stuffing is a toy who taught me
that life's only worth living if you're bein' loved by a kid.
And I traveled all this way to rescue that toy
because I believed him.
Well, you wasted your time.
Let's go, everyone.
What about Woody?
He's not coming with us.
But... But Andy's coming home tonight.
Then we'd better make sure we're there waiting for him.
I don't have a choice, Buzz. This is my only chance.
To do what, Woody?
Watch kids from behind glass and never be loved again?
Some life.
TV WOODY: Is everybody okay?
TV JESSIE: Sheriff Woody!
I knew you'd make it!
Now, remember, deputies,
the real treasures are your friends and family.
Before I go, kids, I want to share somethin' special with you,
for the times I'm not around.
Good going, Woody!
I thought they'd never leave.
TV WOODY: ♪ You've got a friend in me
♪ You've got a friend in me
Woody?
♪ You've got troubles
♪ Well, I've got 'em too
♪ There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
♪ We stick together and see it through
♪ 'Cause you've got a friend in me
♪ Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
♪ Bigger and stronger too Maybe
♪ But none of them will ever love you
♪ The way I do It's me and you, boy
♪ And as the years go by
♪ Our friendship will never die
(SIGHS) What am I doing?
♪ You're gonna see it's our destiny ♪
Buzz! Wait! Wait!
Woody, where are you going?
You're right, Prospector. I can't stop Andy from growing up.
But I wouldn't miss it for the world.
No!
Buzz!
Yes?
Yes?
I'm coming with you!
(GASPS) Wait, wait, wait. I'll be back in just a second.
Way to go, cowboy!
Hey, you guys... Come with me.
What?
Andy will play with all of us. I know it!
Woody, I don't know. I...
Wouldn't you give anything just to have one more day with Emily?
Come on, Jessie. This is what it's all about, to make a child happy.
And you know it. Bullseye, are you with me?
(CHUCKLING) Okay, good boy.
Prospector, how 'bout you?
(METALLIC THUD)
(GASPS)
JESSIE: Prospector?
You're outta your box!
I tried reasoning with you, Woody,
but you keep forcing me to take extreme measures.
Wait a minute. You turned on the TV last night, not Jessie.
Look, we have an eternity to spend together in the museum.
Let's not start off by pointing fingers, shall we?
You really are Stinky Pete, aren't you?
Prospector, this isn't fair.
"Fair"? I'll tell you what's not fair.
Spending a lifetime on a dime-store shelf watching every other toy be sold.
Well, finally my waiting has paid off,
and no hand-me-down cowboy doll is gonna mess it up for me now!
Buzz. Help, Buzz! Guys!
It's too late, Woody. That silly Buzz Lightweight can't help you.
His name is Buzz Lightyear.
Whatever. I've always hated those upstart space toys.
(GRUNTING) It's stuck! What do we do?
Should I use my head?
(GRUNTS, GASPS)
(RUMBLING)
It's Al!
(GASPS)
Look at the time. I'm gonna be late!
Figures. I can't miss this flight! I've gotta pack.
All right. Let's see. Wallet, keys, tickets,
passport, beef jerky, very expensive over there.
Shower! (SNIFFS) Oh, I can skip the shower.
I just gotta get outta here now! (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)
Quick! To the elevator!
(BUZZING)
Hurry. I can hear it coming.
(GASPS)
So, we meet again, Buzz Lightyear,
for the last time.
Aah! It's Zurg! Watch out! He's got an ion blaster!
(SCREAMS)
(BELL DINGS)
Quick! Get on!
(GASPS)
(WHIMPERS)
The emergency hatch! Come on!
(WHIMPERS, YELLS)
(GROANS)
Huh?
Come on! Hurry!
(WHIMPERS) But Buzz is in peril!
VOICE BOX: (REPEATING) Buzz Buzz Buzz...
(MUTTERING)
Surrender, Buzz Lightyear. I have won.
I'll never give in. You killed my father!
No, Buzz. I AM your father.
No!
(SIGHS IMPATIENTLY) Come on! Come on! Come on!
(WHIMPERS) Buzz, you could have defeated Zurg all along!
You just need to believe in yourself! (GASPS)
Prepare to die!
(WHIMPERS) I can't look!
Whoa! (YELLING)
I did it. I finally defeated Zurg!
Father.
(GASPS, GRUNTS)
(BELL DINGS)
Ah, finally!
(TOYS GRUNT)
(DOOR SLAMS, ENGINE STARTS)
(HORNS HONKING)
How are we gonna get him now?
Pizza, anyone?
Go, go, go! (GRUNTS)
I got it!
Buzz, are you coming?
No, I have a lot of catching up to do with my dad.
Good throw, son. That's my boy. Go long, Buzzy!
Oh, you're a great dad. Yippee!
Farewell.
Does anyone know how to drive?
Slink, take the pedals. Rex, you navigate.
Hamm and Potato, operate the levers and knobs.
Whoa.
Ohh.
Strangers.
From the outside.
Oh, no.
He's at a red light! We can catch him!
Maximum power, Slink!
(ENGINE REVS)
Whaa! It turned green! Hurry!
Why won't it go?
Use the Wand of Power.
(GEARS GRINDING)
(TIRES SQUEALING)
(SCREAMS)
Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
Rex, which way?
Left! No, no! I mean right!
That's right! No, I mean left! Left is right!
Buzz, he's turning left! He's turning left!
(GASPS)
Oh, oh, boy!
Whoa!
Oh, I seriously doubt he's gettin' this kind of mileage.
Go right! To the right! Right, right, right, right!
Whoa!
(GASPS, GROANS)
You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.
WOMAN OVER PA: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading...
No parking.
Guys, we can't park here! It's a white zone!
You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
Final boarding call...
There he is!
...for Far East Airlines flight 451 to Tokyo.
All confirmed passengers with boarding passes
must board at this time.
MAN OVER PA: Passenger Twitch,
passenger Leon Twitch, please pick up...
You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
MR. POTATO HEAD: Will you leave me alone?
REX: Someone's coming!
GIRL: Ooh, a puppy!
Bark, bark, bark, bark.
Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
Listen, flyboy.
The contents of that case are worth more than you make in a year!
You got that, sport? You be careful!
I understand, sir.
Do you have a "fragile" sticker or something?
I had a box of cookies once that came back as crumbs!
The Mystic Portal!
Oooh.
Once we go through, we just need to find that case.
(GASPS)
(TOYS SCREAMING)
(ALL GROANING)
Ow! There's the case!
No, there's the case!
You take that one! We'll take this one!
(ALL GRUNT)
Whoa! Buzz!
Buzz, my back end's goin' to Baton Rouge!
Slinky!
(PANTING)
Here we come, Woody! Woody, here we come! Woody!
(ALL GROAN)
Nice flash, though.
(PANTING)
(PANTING) Okay, Woody, let's go!
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
Take that, space toy.
Hey! No one does that to my friend! (GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(YELLS)
Your choice, Woody.
You can go to Japan together or in pieces.
If he fixed ya once, he can fix ya again. Now get in the box!
Never!
Fine!
(GASPS)
(YELLS)
(ALL SHOUT)
No! Aaah!
Gotcha!
Idiots! Children destroy toys!
You'll all be ruined, forgotten!
Spending eternity rotting in some landfill!
Well, Stinky Pete,
I think it's time you learned the true meaning of playtime.
Right over there, guys!
(WHIMPERING) No. No! No!
WOMAN OVER PA: Atlantic Air flight 810 from Point Richmond
is now arriving at Gate 3.
GIRL: (GASPING) Look, Barbie. A big, ugly man doll.
Ooh, he needs a makeover.
(WHIMPERING)
Hi! You'll like Amy.
(GASPS)
She's an artist!
(SOBBING)
MOTHER: Come on, hon!
Happy trails, Prospector.
Buzz! Woody!
Help us out here!
(GASPING)
Hurry!
Oh, no. Jessie! Come on!
Oh, Woody!
(JESSIE SCREAMING)
Jessie! (WHISTLES)
(GRUNTS) Come on, Buzz.
Yah!
Ride like the wind, Bullseye!
Hey-howdy-hey! Giddyap!
BUZZ: Come on, Bullseye! Yah!
Buzz, give me a boost!
(GRUNTING, PANTING)
Oh! Ohh! Oohhh!
Woody!
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS)
Here's the rest!
(PANTING)
(GLASS TINKLING, SHATTERING)
(PANTING, GRUNTING)
Excuse me, ma'am, but I believe you're on the wrong flight.
Woody!
Come on, Jess.
It's time to take you home.
But
what if Andy doesn't like me?
Nonsense!
Andy'll love you! Besides,
he's got a little sister.
He does?
Why didn't you say so? Let's go!
Whoa!
MAN: Hold it! There's a couple more bags coming from the terminal!
Okay. On three.
One, two...
Too late! Put 'em on the next flight!
This is bad.
How are we gonna get outta here?
(LATCH CLICKS)
Over there! Come on!
(GRUNTING)
You sure about this?
No! Let's go!
(BOTH GASP)
(YELLING)
Hold on, Woody!
(RIPPING SOUND)
(YELLING)
What's a cowboy without his hat?
Buzz!
(ENGINES ACCELERATING)
(WHIMPERING)
Buzz! Buzz, get behind the tires!
(PANTING, GRUNTING)
Jessie, let go of the plane!
What? Are you crazy?
Just pretend it's the final episode of Woody's Roundup.
But it was canceled! We never saw if you made it!
Well, then, let's find out together!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Oh-oh-oh.
(LAUGHING)
We did it! We did it! We did it!
Nice ropin', cowboy.
That was definitely Woody's finest hour!
(LAUGHING)
Your hat, partner.
Hoo-hoo!
(ENGINES ROARING)
Let's go home.
Yee-haw!
(PANTING)
(HUMS LONE RANGER THEME)
Hey, Woody! Woody?
Oh, wow! New toys!
Cool! Thanks, Mom!
It's Bazooka Jane and her jet-propelled horse!
(MAKES JET SOUNDS)
Woody, Buzz, that polecat Zurg has stolen my space cows!
(CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)
Andy, come on, hon. Time to go.
Hey, you fixed Woody!
Yeah.
Glad I decided not to take him to camp.
His whole arm might have come off.
Well, what do you know?
Yee-haw!
Oh, Bullseye,
we're part of a family again!
Hmm?
Uh, ma'am, I, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
I wanted to say you're a bright young woman
with a beautiful "yarnful" of hair.
"Hairful" of yarn. It's, uh... Whoo... Uh...
(CLEARS THROAT) I must go.
Well, aren't you the sweetest space toy I ever met?
(BARKING)
What's that? Bark, bark?
(BARKING)
This fella says he needs to go out back for a little private time.
That critter needs help!
♪ Yodel-ay-hee-hoo ♪
(GRUNTS)
(BARKS)
Ooh, ooh, oh...
Hey, Rex, I could use a hand over here, buddy.
I don't need to play. I've lived it!
No, no, no, no! Oh, nuts!
(CLICKS CHANNEL)
(WEEPING) Welcome to Al's Toy Barn.
We've got the lowest prices in town.
Everything for a buck, buck, buck. (SOBBING)
Well, I guess crime doesn't pay.
Oh, Andy did a great job, huh? Nice and strong!
I like it. Makes you look tough.
(GIGGLES)
(SMOOCHING)
(LAUGHING)
You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
You saved their lives? Oh, my hero!
And they're so adorable! Let's adopt them!
Daddy!
Oh, no.
(SQUEAKING)
Wheezy, you're fixed!
Oh, yeah. Mr. Shark looked in the toy box
and found me an extra squeaker.
And how do you feel?
Oh, I feel swell.
In fact, I think I feel a song comin' on.
(BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYS)
ROBERT GOULET'S VOICE: ♪ You've got a friend in me
♪ You've got a friend in me
♪ You just remember what your old pal said
(BARKING)
♪ Babe, you've got a friend in me
(GIGGLING)
♪ Yeah, you've got a friend in me
Come on over. Oh, you are such a big girl.
Andy, you think she's ready to drive the car yet?
(BARKING)
Yeah, and I can teach her.
You still worried?
About Andy?
Nah. It'll be fun while it lasts.
I'm proud of you, cowboy.
Besides, when it all ends,
I'll have old Buzz Lightyear to keep me company
for infinity and beyond.
♪ You're gonna see it's our destiny
♪ You've got a friend in me
♪ Yes, you do
♪ You've got a friend in me
♪ That's the truth
♪ You've got a friend
♪ In me ♪
Yeah!
MAN 1: Speed.
MAN 2: Marker.
MAN 3: And action.
(GROANING, LAUGHING)
(STRUGGLING, LAUGHING)
Okay. (SNORTING) A little help here, please.
What are we gonna do, Buzz?
Use your head!
But I don't wanna use my head!
(ALL SCREAMING)
-(THUD) -REX: Ow!
MAN 1: Speed.
MAN 2: Marker.
MAN 3: Okay, and pull back.
(WHEELS SQUEAKING)
(BURPING) Whew!
I don't remember eating that.
MAN: Cut.
(GROANING) I can't believe this.
That's the fifth time.
What row is that guy in?
Sorry.
I had that bean burrito for lunch.
Okay, I'm all right now. Sorry.
MAN: And action.
I'm packing you an extra pair of shoes
and your angry eyes just in case.
And if you get hungry, here's some cheese puffs. And a key.
I don't know what it's for, but you never know.
MAN 1: Speed.
MAN 2: Marker.
MAN 3: And action.
Whoo!
(CRASHING)
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
Could...? Should we just...?
Should that just be part of the movie now?
He lost... He lost his string.
And the golf ball, if you have time for golf.
And a plastic steak and a rubber ducky and a yo-yo.
Who's behind?
Mine.
MAN: All right, cut. Good take.
What good acting. That was a good take.
You're such a cute little bottom.
Look at you. Look at you. Look at you. Look at you.
In fact, I think I feel a song comin' on.
(THUDDING)
(FEEDBACK)
Mr. Mike, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt your equipment?
You gotta aim it right here at my flipper.
I'm not a very good catch.
Okay, I'm ready for another take.
MAN: Let's go again.
(THUDDING)
(WHEEZING)
Oh, no! Oh, no, I think I swallowed my squeaker!
(COUGHING)
And an extra-bouncy bouncy ball.
And some extra teeth. Be careful, they chatter.
(TEETH CHATTERING)
Whoa!
MAN 1: Marker.
MAN 2: And action.
(TAPPING)
(SNICKERING)
We'll be back before Andy gets home.
What? What're you laughing about?
Huh? (LAUGHING)
Real funny, Woody.
MAN: We're losing our light. Wipe it off and let's go again.
Golly bob howdy.
What? What's so funny? Woody!
(SPRINGING)
(LAUGHING)
Huh?
Darn it, Woody!
MAN: Okay, let's go again.
And crayons, in case you get bored.
And some blue Play-Doh.
(GROANING)
Isn't this exciting, Heimlich? Our first day of shooting.
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's so exciting!
You know, I can't believe you talked them into making A Bug's Life 2.
Oh, oh, yeah, I can hardly believe it also.
Oh, but there's a little baby tiny thing I forgot to tell you.
What's that, Heimlich?
Well, it's a "2" movie, but it's not A Bug's Life 2.
What...? I don't understand. What is it then?
MAN: And action.
(CRASHING)
(BUGS SCREAMING)
MAN 1: Marker.
MAN 2: And action.
Bullseye, are you with me?
Okay, good boy.
Prospector, how 'bout you?
And so, you two are absolutely identical? (LAUGHING)
You know, I'm sure I could get you a part in Toy Story 3.
I'm sorry. Are we back?
(CHUCKLING) All right, girls. Lovely talking with you.
Anytime you'd like some tips on acting, I'd be glad to chat with you.
All right, off you go then.
MAN 1: Speed.
MAN 2: Let me check focus.
Did you make it into the first Toy Story?
In the letterbox copy,
you can see my arm grabbing Woody's ankle.
What will you do next?
I'm up for this villain in a toothpaste commercial.
Wow, that's great.
And a dime, call me. And monkey chow.
Monkey chow? For what?
Well, for the monkeys, of course.
(SCREECHING)
Come on, monkeys.
That's it. I draw the line at monkeys.
Get my agent on the phone!
MAN 1: Marker.
MAN 2: And action.
It's your choice, Woody.
You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever.
(FARTING)
Good heavens. Was that me? (LAUGHING)
Oh, my. (FARTING) I am so sorry.
I guess that's why they call me Stinky Pete. Whoo!
MAN: Okay, let's cut.
We are so glad you came.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye, now. Bye. Bye-bye.
Remember, please discard all candy wrappers and popcorn containers
in the nearest trash receptacle. Thank you.
Okay, bye-bye, now. Bye-bye. Bye.
(LAUGHING)
Okay.
Are they all gone?
Is everybody gone?
Huh?
(SQUEAKING) Good. Oh, my gosh, my cheeks are killing me.
I can't keep smiling like this anymore. I am exhausted.
I think I need a break.
A little break? Okay.
Whew.
(WOODY'S ROUNDUP THEME PLAYING)
CHORUS: ♪ Woody's Roundup
♪ Come on, and gather round
♪ Woody's Roundup
♪ Where nobody wears a frown
♪ Bad guys go runnin'
♪ Whenever he's in town
♪ He's the rooting-est Tooting-est, shooting-est
♪ Hooting-est cowboy around
♪ Woody's Roundup ♪
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