Disney NeverEnding Chronicles (2017 Part 3) - Subtitles (en)

________

Imagining in July 2017

_________________________________

On a scale of one to ten,

_________________________________

 I give this day an F.

_________________________________

Well, why don't we quit standing

around and do something?

_________________________________

Like what, genius?

_________________________________

Like quitting. That's what I'm doing.

_________________________________

Sure it's the coward's way out.

_________________________________

But this coward's gonna survive.

_________________________________

Ow!

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________
DISGUST: Emotions can't quit, genius!

_________________________________
Ugh! I thought we were supposed to

be keeping Riley happy.

_________________________________

♪ First you find a can from a rusty van

_________________________________

♪ Bump-bump

_________________________________

♪ Quicker than a dart, make it into art

_________________________________

♪ Bump-bump

_________________________________

♪ That's the way it's done,
it's a lot of fun

_________________________________

♪ Bump-bump

_________________________________

♪ Liftin' my funk,
makin' sculpture outta junk ♪

_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES)
-(DEVICE BEEPING)

_________________________________

What's that? (SCOFFS) There we go!

_________________________________

Somebody's interrupting genius!

_________________________________

-(GASPS) Well, hey, there, buddy!

-(CHUCKLES) Mater!
_________________________________
You know, I was just thinking of you

_________________________________

and here you are lookin' right at me!

_________________________________

You see me okay? Hang on a second
there. Hold on. Let me see here.

_________________________________

-That better?
-(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Looking you straight

in the eye there, pal.

_________________________________

Hey, sorry about calling so late.

_________________________________

Shoot, not for me it's not.

_________________________________

I'm always burning that midnight oil.

_________________________________

So get me caught up on everything.

_________________________________

Well, actually kind of hoping

_________________________________

I might hear what's going on back home.

_________________________________

Not much. If you don't

count Sarge and Fillmore

_________________________________

tryin' to run the tire shop.

_________________________________

But tell Luigi not to worry,

Sarge is gonna track down...

_________________________________

every last tire
that Fillmore done gived away.

_________________________________

Other than that, everything's good.

_________________________________

-How's Sally?
-Oh, she's fine.

_________________________________

Keeping busy at the Cone.
She misses you.

_________________________________

Well, shoot! We all do

when you're on the road.

_________________________________

Yeah. You know, I've been

kind of thinking about that.

_________________________________

You know, what we should do

_________________________________

when I'm not on the road anymore.

_________________________________

What do you mean not on the road?

_________________________________

Well, you know.

_________________________________

Mater, I can't do this forever.

_________________________________

Huh?

_________________________________

I'm just not getting anywhere
with the training.

_________________________________

If anything,
I've gotten slower not faster.

_________________________________

Shoot, buddy, it'll work out.

_________________________________

Just tell me what the problem is...

_________________________________

and I'll stay right here

with you until we fix it.

_________________________________

That's just it, Mater. I don't know.

_________________________________

And I feel like I'm all out of ideas.

_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

All right, let me think.

Oh! You know what I'd do?

_________________________________

What?

_________________________________

I don't know. I got nothin'.

_________________________________

I guess I ain't Doc when it comes to that.

_________________________________

I would give anything
to talk to him right now.

_________________________________

Yep, there was nobody

smarter than old Doc.

_________________________________

Well, except for maybe

whoever taught him.

_________________________________

Yeah. Wait. What?

_________________________________

Everybody was taught

by somebody, right?

_________________________________

Take my cousin Doyle.

_________________________________

He taught me how to sing
and whistle at the same time.

_________________________________

He was very musical that way.

_________________________________

Smokey. Mater, you're brilliant.

_________________________________

Ah, well... It's all about

the shape of your teeth.

_________________________________

I got to go to Thomasville.

_________________________________
MATER: Oh, well, good.

_________________________________

You know me, buddy,
I'm always happy to help.

_________________________________

Think I am better at that than most folks.
You know, talkin' and stuff.

_________________________________

For the preparation for Incredibles 2 (after information from the D23 Expo 2017), go to: The Incredibles - Subtitles (en)

_________________________________

_________________________________

MAN ON TV: (FRENCH ACCENT)
Although each of the world's countries
_________________________________

would like to dispute this fact,
_________________________________

we French know the truth:
_________________________________

The best food in the world
is made in France.
_________________________________

The best food in France
is made in Paris.
_________________________________

And the best food in Paris, some say,
is made by Chef Auguste Gusteau.
_________________________________

Gusteau's restaurant
is the toast of Paris,
_________________________________

booked five months in advance.
_________________________________

And his dazzling ascent
to the top of fine French cuisine
_________________________________

has made his competitors envious.
_________________________________

He is the youngest chef ever
to achieve a five-star rating.
_________________________________

Chef Gusteau's cookbook,
Anyone Can Cook!
_________________________________

climbed to the top of the bestseller list.
_________________________________

But not everyone
celebrates its success.
_________________________________

Amusing title, Anyone Can Cook!
_________________________________

What's even more amusing is that
Gusteau actually seems to believe it.
_________________________________

I, on the other hand,
take cooking seriously.
_________________________________

And, no, I don't think anyone can do it.

_________________________________

(LOW, PULSATING RUMBLE)
_________________________________

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
_________________________________

(TRIUMPHANT THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRA CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________

(PERCUSSION BOOMING)
_________________________________

We come in peace

for cats and mice everywhere.
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(GLASS BREAKS, AIR HISSING)
_________________________________

(POPPING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING)
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________

Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.

Thanks for coming out.
_________________________________

(PRESIDENTIAL SONG PLAYING)
_________________________________
SCRATCHY: Itchy... Itchy...

_________________________________

(AIR HORN BLASTS)
_________________________________

(QUIET, OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

GROWS LOUDER)
_________________________________

(SNAPS FINGERS)
_________________________________

(CLICK)
_________________________________

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(MUSIC CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________

(LOUD BUZZING)
_________________________________

(MISSILES RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(MISSILES WHIZZING

THROUGH AIR)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(MISSILE WHIZZING)
_________________________________

(MECHANICAL RATCHETING)
_________________________________

(METALLIC CLUNK)
_________________________________

(LOUD EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

Boring!
_________________________________
LISA: Dad, we can't see the movie!

_________________________________

I can't believe we're paying to see

something we get on TV for free.
_________________________________

If you ask me, everybody

in this theater is a giant sucker,
_________________________________

especially you!
_________________________________

(CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________

PROFESSOR FRINK:
Movie on the big screen!
_________________________________

(THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

(CREAKING, THUD)
_________________________________

(PEN SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

(MARTIN HOWLING)
_________________________________

(ROCK BAND JOINS IN

ON THE SIMPSONS THEME)
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________

(STRAINED GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Excuse me, my heinie is dipping.
_________________________________

-(OTHERS GROAN IN DISGUST)

-(LOUD THUD, GRUNT)
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

(TO THE SIMPSONS THEME)

♪ Da, da, da, da-da, da, da
_________________________________

♪ Da, da-da-da-da
_________________________________

CROWD: ♪ Da-da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
_________________________________

(SONG ENDS, CHEERING)
_________________________________

All right, well,

thanks a lot for coming.
_________________________________

We've been playing

for three and a half hours.
_________________________________

Now we'd like just a minute of your time
_________________________________

to say something

about the environment!
_________________________________

-(CROWD QUIETS)

-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

(LOUD BOOING)
_________________________________

MAN 1: You suck!

MAN 2: Shut up and play!
_________________________________

-Preachy!

-We're not being preachy.
_________________________________

But the pollution in your lake,

it's dissolving our barge!
_________________________________

(CROWD BOOING)
_________________________________

I thought they touched on a vital issue.
_________________________________

I beg to differ.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(SCREECHY GASP)
_________________________________

Gentlemen, it's been an honor

playing with you tonight.
_________________________________

(PLAYING

"NEARER MY GOD TO THEE")
_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYING)
_________________________________

For the latest rock band

to die in our town,
_________________________________

Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________

CONGREGATION:

Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________

(CAR SCREECHES TO A HALT)
_________________________________
MARGE: I hate being late.
HOMER: Well, I hate going.

_________________________________

Why can't I worship the Lord

in my own way...
_________________________________

by praying like hell on my deathbed?
_________________________________
MARGE: Homer,

they can hear you inside.
_________________________________
HOMER: Relax. Those pious morons

_________________________________
are too busy talking
to their phony-baloney God.

_________________________________

(QUIETLY) How you doing?

Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.
_________________________________

(GRAMPA SNORING)
_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYING QUIETLY)
_________________________________

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
_________________________________

-(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)

-(BABIES SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS STOP)
_________________________________

Now, today I'd like to try

something a little different.
_________________________________

I'm going to call on one of you!
_________________________________

(MAN YELPS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Now, the word

of God dwells within everyone.
_________________________________

I want you to let that word out.
_________________________________

-Let your spirit...

-FLANDERS: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
_________________________________

(FRUSTRATED SIGH) What is it, Ned?
_________________________________

The good Lord is telling me

to confess to something.
_________________________________

(QUIETLY)

Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
_________________________________

An immodest sense of pride

in our community!
_________________________________

Somebody else?
_________________________________

Let the Lord's light shine upon you.
_________________________________

-(HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGING)

-(SNORING)
_________________________________

Feel the spirit.
_________________________________

Let it out!
_________________________________

Horrible, horrible things

are going to happen!
_________________________________

And they're gonna happen to you

and you and you!
_________________________________

-And you!

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

Whoa, Nelly.
_________________________________

(GOOFY GASPING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(BEEP)
_________________________________

People of Springfield, heed this warning!

_________________________________

Twisted tail!
_________________________________

A thousand eyes!
_________________________________

Trapped forever!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING LIKE THREE STOOGES)
_________________________________

Dad, do something!
_________________________________

This book doesn't have any answers!
_________________________________

Beware, beware! Time is short!
_________________________________

EPA! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________

(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________

Believe me! Believe me!
_________________________________

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

Thanks for listening.
_________________________________

Okay, who wants waffles?
_________________________________

ALL: I do! I do! I do!
_________________________________

Wait a minute. What about Grandpa?
_________________________________

-I want syrup.

-I want strawberries!
_________________________________

Something happened to that man.
_________________________________

I'll tell you what happened to him. A

certain someone had a senior moment.
_________________________________

But that's okay, because we love him

and we got a free rug out of it.
_________________________________

What is the point of

going to church every Sunday
_________________________________

when if someone we love has a

genuine religious experience,
_________________________________

we ignore it? Right, Grandpa?
_________________________________

I want bananas on my waffles!
_________________________________

I rest my case.
_________________________________

I'm not dropping this.
_________________________________

Wait a minute! I'm still in the car.
_________________________________

Oh, right.
_________________________________

Hmm...
_________________________________

"Take out hornets' nest."
_________________________________

(HORNETS BUZZING)
_________________________________

(FRENZIED BUZZING)
_________________________________

Check. "Fix sinkhole."
_________________________________

(QUIET SUCKING)
_________________________________

(SUCKING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

-(PLOP)

-(SUCKING STOPS)
_________________________________

Check.
_________________________________

"Reshingle roof"?
_________________________________

(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________

-(LOUD SQUISH)

-Ow-how-how!
_________________________________

-Ow-how-how!

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(YELLS) Why, you little...
_________________________________

I'll teach you to laugh

at something that's funny!
_________________________________

(EXHALES) You know, we are on

the roof. We could have some fun.
_________________________________

What kind of fun?
_________________________________

How about a dare contest?
_________________________________

That sounds fun. I dare you to...
_________________________________

climb the TV antenna.
_________________________________

Piece of cake.
_________________________________

-Earthquake!

-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING AND GASPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Aftershock!
_________________________________

-(PLAYFUL GRUNTING)

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
FLANDERS: Homer, I don't mean to
be a nervous Pervis or anything,

_________________________________

but if he falls, couldn't that

make your boy a parapleg-erino?
_________________________________

Shut up, Flanders.
_________________________________

-Yeah, shut up, Flanders.

-Well said, boy.
_________________________________

BOTH: Yeah!
_________________________________

Steady... Steady...
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________
HOMER: Ah!

_________________________________

-(THUDS)

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
LISA: Hello. Sorry to bother you

on a Sunday,

_________________________________

but I'm sure you're as worried about

the pollution
_________________________________
-in Lake Springfield as I am.

-(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
LISA: Lake Springfield has
higher levels of mercury than even...

_________________________________

(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________
SWEET OLD LADY: Why, it's

the little girl who saved my cat.

_________________________________
LISA: Lake Springfield is...

_________________________________

-(DOOR SLAMS)

-(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(DOORS SLAMMING)
_________________________________

(DOG YELPS)
_________________________________

(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________

-(BELL RINGS)

-(SHIP'S HORN BLOWS)
_________________________________

(GROANS) Oh...
_________________________________

-(DOOR CREAKS)

-Come on over, Lisa.
_________________________________

You can canvass me
as long as you want.

_________________________________

Milhouse, you don't care

about the environment.
_________________________________

Hey! I am very passionate

about the planet!
_________________________________

Say global warming is a myth!
_________________________________

It's a myth! Further study is needed!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

That's for selling out your beliefs!
_________________________________

Oh, poor Milhouse.
_________________________________

-Dream coming true.

-(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
COLIN: Are you aware that

a leaky faucet can waste over...
_________________________________

-(DOOR SLAMS)

-2,000 gallons a year.
_________________________________

-And turning off your lights can save...

-Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
_________________________________

And if we just kept our

thermostats at 68 in winter...
_________________________________

We'd be free from our dependency

on foreign oil in 17 years!
_________________________________

-I'm Colin.

-(GASPS SOFTLY)
_________________________________

I haven't seen you at school.
_________________________________

Just moved from Ireland.

My dad's a musician.
_________________________________

-Is he...

-He's not Bono.
_________________________________

I just thought because you're

Irish and you care about...
_________________________________

He's not Bono.
_________________________________

Do you play?
_________________________________

Just piano, guitar,

trumpet, drums and bass.
_________________________________
LISA: (THINKING) He's pure gold!

For once in your life, be cool.
_________________________________

So is your name as pretty as your face?
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(SCREECHES) Ha! Ha!
_________________________________

You okay there?
_________________________________

(LISA GAGGING)
_________________________________

(CHOKING AND GIGGLING)
_________________________________

Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!

Trapped forever! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________

"EPA." What could that be?
_________________________________

I believe it's the sound

the Green Lantern made
_________________________________

when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.

_________________________________

Epa!
_________________________________

Yeah. Uh, thanks for coming over.
_________________________________

Thanks for giving me

your pregnancy pants.
_________________________________

I've never known comfort like this.
_________________________________

(ELASTIC SLAPS)
_________________________________

-(BB'S PINGING)

-(HOMER GRUNTING)
_________________________________

D'oh! Oh, why did I... Oh! Suggest this?
_________________________________

(SHRIEKING) Oh! Aah!

Ow! Ee! Aah! Aah!
_________________________________

(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)
_________________________________

(TIMER DINGS)
_________________________________

All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare.
_________________________________

I dare you to skateboard

to Krusty Burger and back...
_________________________________

naked.
_________________________________

-How naked?

-Fourth base.
_________________________________

But girls might see my doodle.
_________________________________

(MOCKING) Oh, I see. Then

I hereby declare you "chicken for life."
_________________________________

Every morning, you'll wake up to
"Good morning, chicken."

_________________________________

At your wedding, I'll sing...
_________________________________

(CLUCKING WEDDING SONG)
_________________________________

(SURPRISED CLUCK)
_________________________________

(SURF ROCK PLAYING)
_________________________________

(PEOPLE GASP)
_________________________________

I like men now.
_________________________________

Don't look where I'm pointing!
_________________________________

(SIREN WAILING)
_________________________________
WIGGUM: Stop in the name of

American squeamishness!
_________________________________

-(TIRES SCREECH)

-(DRIVERS GASPING)
_________________________________

Boys, before we eat, don't forget

to thank the Lord for this bountiful...
_________________________________

Penis!
_________________________________

BOTH: Bountiful penis.
_________________________________

Amen.
_________________________________

(GLASS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Listen, kid, nobody

likes wearing clothes in public,
_________________________________

but, you know, it-it's the law.
_________________________________

Lunchtime!
_________________________________

You can't just leave me out here.
_________________________________

Don't worry. We found

a friend for you to play with.
_________________________________

Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________

(HOARSELY) Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha...
_________________________________

Nelson, honey, where have you been?
_________________________________

Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________

_________________________________
BUCK: Mmm...

_________________________________

Okay, mammals.

Let's stop here for the night.
_________________________________

Stop? What about the whole
_________________________________

end of the world collision thing?
_________________________________

Oh, asteroid's still a day off.
_________________________________

And like my grandfather used to say...
_________________________________

"Red sky at night, sailor's delight.
_________________________________

"Purple sky at night,

who moved my foot cream?
_________________________________

"I need my foot cream."
_________________________________

Grampy was a confused

and angry weasel.
_________________________________

-(JULIAN AND DIEGO LAUGHING)

-DIEGO: You are so funny, J.
_________________________________

Stop! You're funny.
_________________________________

Take it easy, my brother

from a tiger mother.
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Hasta manana, J-man.
_________________________________

What was that?
_________________________________

What was what?
_________________________________

Oh, that! It's a cool way to peace out.
_________________________________

Julian taught it to me.
_________________________________

Well, I'm glad the apocalypse

is bringing you together.
_________________________________

He's a good kid, Manny.

I like his philosophy.
_________________________________

Give him a chance. Bond with him.
_________________________________

(SINGING) So light 'em up, up, up
_________________________________

Light 'em up, up, up
_________________________________

Light 'em up, up, up
I'm on fire

_________________________________
-(GROANS)

-Bonding! That's a good idea!
_________________________________

Oh, right. Got you.
_________________________________

You take Julian.
I got an idea for Peaches.

_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

Hey, Bro-Kid.
_________________________________

Oh, hey, Bro-Dad. You here to rock out?
_________________________________

(MIMICKING DRUMMING)
_________________________________

Okay. Instead of that...
_________________________________

how about a game before bedtime?
_________________________________

No way! You want to play

a game with me? Wow!
_________________________________

What is honored times 1,000?
_________________________________

No! Times one million?
_________________________________

'Cause whatever that equals,

is how honored I am.
_________________________________

So, is that a "yes"?
_________________________________

Yes, that's a "yes." It's the most "yes"!
_________________________________

It's like "yes" with a bunch of s's...
_________________________________

so it's like "yessssssssssssssssssss."
_________________________________

Great!
_________________________________

-(GRUNTING)

-I'll see you on the ice!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Happy?
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Oh, boy.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

So, do you think you're ready

to go out roaming on your own?
_________________________________

I won't be alone. I'll have Julian.
_________________________________

Sure. But with asteroids flying...
_________________________________

no home to speak of
_________________________________

and absolutely no support system...
_________________________________

do you think you'll be ready for...
_________________________________

this?
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

I'm a wittle baby.
_________________________________

(BAWLING)
_________________________________

Imagine. You're in the woods,

looking for food...
_________________________________

and your baby gets sick.
What do you do?

_________________________________

Uh...
_________________________________

No! Jiggling makes her feel worse!
_________________________________

(VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(BAWLING)
_________________________________

Oh, no! Now your older toddler
_________________________________

has a skinned knee and a stuffy nose.
_________________________________

Mommy, hold me!
_________________________________

Now your babies are crying.
_________________________________

You have no food and then
_________________________________

you come face to face

with a rabid beast!
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

I am a rabid beast

who gives rabies to babies.
_________________________________

(YELLING)
_________________________________

And there's an arsonist on the loose.
_________________________________

(CACKLING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

How are you going to handle

all this without our help?
_________________________________

(BOTH BAWLING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(CACKLING)
_________________________________

-Huh?

-Ah!
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

-Ah!

-(BAWLING)
_________________________________

Peaches, out!
_________________________________

That's just the easy stuff.
_________________________________

There's a lot more we still need to cover.
_________________________________

Uh... Baby made a poopie.
_________________________________

(SPITS) I'm a method actor,

so I will need to be changed.
_________________________________
JULIAN: Oh! So close!

_________________________________

These pucks go fast.
_________________________________

Just watch the puck

all the way into the stick.
_________________________________

Oh! I did it!
_________________________________

Too bad you and Peaches
are moving away.

_________________________________

If you stayed,

we could do this all the time.
_________________________________

Okay. Show me the heat!
_________________________________

I'm like a hockey ninja!
_________________________________

Hey, Peaches!
_________________________________

Looks like you got a new hockey partner

_________________________________

to replace your dad.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Oh, no.
_________________________________

Julian!
_________________________________

(SHIVERING)
_________________________________

Such a mystery why

he wants to move far away.
_________________________________

I didn't mean to do it.
_________________________________

It's not my fault the kid has no reflexes.
_________________________________
PEACHES:

How could you do that to him?
_________________________________

I thought you liked Julian.
_________________________________

I do like Julian.
_________________________________

Well, you don't act like it.
_________________________________

When you look at him

all you see is an obstacle.
_________________________________

Or worse, a target.
_________________________________

But I see a sweet guy...
_________________________________

who's trying his hardest to impress you.
_________________________________

-Peaches.

-No! Both of you, just stop!
_________________________________

If we survive, I'm still getting married
_________________________________

and I'm still leaving home.
_________________________________

Whether you're happy for me or not.
_________________________________

Don't give me that look. She said both.
_________________________________

That means you, too.
_________________________________

And this widdle astewoid went

wee, wee, wee, all the way home.
_________________________________

(DINO-BIRDS GASP)
_________________________________
ROGER: Hey... (YELPS)

_________________________________

Eh...
_________________________________

Because Daddy and his fwiends

saved the world.
_________________________________

_________________________________
(GUN FIRING)
_________________________________

(THUNDER RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(WOMAN SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(CLATTERING)
_________________________________

REMY: This is me.
_________________________________

I think it's apparent
I need to rethink my life a little bit.
_________________________________

What's my problem?
_________________________________

First of all, I'm a rat.
_________________________________

Which means life is hard.
_________________________________

And second, I have a highly developed
sense of taste and smell.

_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla bean...

_________________________________

Oh! Small twist of lemon.

_________________________________

Whoa, you can smell all that?
You have a gift.

_________________________________

REMY: This is Emile, my brother.
He's easily impressed.

_________________________________
So you can smell ingredients?
So what?
_________________________________

This is my dad. He's never impressed.

_________________________________
He also happens to be
the leader of our clan.

_________________________________
So, what's wrong
with having highly developed senses?

_________________________________
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't eat that!

-What's going on here?
_________________________________

Turns out that funny smell
was rat poison.

_________________________________
Suddenly, Dad didn't think
my talent was useless.
_________________________________

I was feeling pretty good about my gift,
_________________________________

until Dad gave me a job.
_________________________________

Clean.

_________________________________

Clean.

_________________________________

That's right. Poison checker.
_________________________________
Cleanerific.

_________________________________

Cleanerino.

_________________________________

Close to godliness.

_________________________________

Which means clean.
You know, cleanliness is close to...

_________________________________

Never mind. Move on.

_________________________________

Well, it made my dad proud.
_________________________________

Now, don't you feel better, Remy?
You've helped a noble cause.

_________________________________

Noble? We're thieves, Dad.

_________________________________

And what we're stealing is,
let's face it, garbage.

_________________________________

It isn't stealing if no one wants it.

_________________________________

If no one wants it,
why are we stealing it?

_________________________________
(LECTURING)
_________________________________

Let's just say
we have different points of view.
_________________________________

This much I knew:

_________________________________
If you are what you eat,
then I only want to eat the good stuff.

_________________________________
But to my dad...
_________________________________

Food is fuel.

_________________________________

You get picky about what you put
in the tank, your engine is gonna die.

_________________________________

Now shut up and eat your garbage.

_________________________________

Look, if we're going to be thieves,
_________________________________

why not steal the good stuff
in the kitchen,
_________________________________

where nothing is poisoned?
_________________________________

First of all, we are not thieves.

_________________________________

Secondly, stay out of the kitchen
and away from the humans.

_________________________________

It's dangerous.

_________________________________

REMY: I know
I'm supposed to hate humans,
_________________________________

but there's something about them.
_________________________________

They don't just survive.
They discover, they create.
_________________________________

I mean,
just look at what they do with food.

_________________________________
GUSTEAU: (ON TV)
How can I describe it?
_________________________________

Good food is like music you can taste,
color you can smell.
_________________________________

There is excellence all around you.
_________________________________

You need only be aware to stop
and savor it.

_________________________________
REMY: Oh, Gusteau was right.
_________________________________

Oh, mmm, yeah.
_________________________________

Oh, amazing.
_________________________________

Each flavor was totally unique.
_________________________________

But combine one flavor with another,
_________________________________

and something new was created.

_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________

_________________________________

Dad!
_________________________________

What seems to be the problem, officers?
_________________________________

Tell them you dared me to do it.
_________________________________

If that's true, then you should be

taking the rap here, not your son.
_________________________________

And what happens to me if it's my fault?
_________________________________

You'll have to attend

a one-hour parenting class.
_________________________________

It was all his idea!

He's out of control, I tell you!
_________________________________

I'm at my wit's end!
_________________________________

(SOBBING) It's so...
_________________________________
WIGGUM: See you in court, kid.

_________________________________

Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
_________________________________

Did you at least bring my clothes?
_________________________________

Shirt, socks, everything you need.
_________________________________

-You didn't bring my pants!

-Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Oh, this is

the worst day of my life.
_________________________________

The worst day of your life so far.
_________________________________

-Say, Bart?

-What do you want, Flanders?
_________________________________

If you need pants, I carry an extra pair.
_________________________________

I mean, you know how boys are,

always praying through the knees.
_________________________________

Why are you helping me?

I'm not your kid.
_________________________________

We're neighbors. I'm sure your father

would do the same for my boys.
_________________________________
HOMER: Thank you.

_________________________________

HOMER: (CHOMPING)
Mmm, mmm, mmm...
_________________________________

(MUMBLING)
_________________________________

-Hey, what's with you?

-You really want to know?
_________________________________

Of course I do.
_________________________________

What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...

_________________________________

A pig wearing a hat!
_________________________________
DIRECTOR: Action.

_________________________________

Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,
for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger!

_________________________________

If you can find a greasier sandwich,

you're in Mexico!
_________________________________

(GOOFY LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Mmm!
_________________________________
DIRECTOR: And we're clear.

_________________________________

Blech! Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.
_________________________________

(SQUEALING)
_________________________________

What? You can't kill him

if he's wearing people clothes.
_________________________________

(SQUEALS)
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS, SNORTS)
_________________________________

(MAN SINGING

ROMANTIC POP SONG)
_________________________________

-You're coming home with me.

-(SQUEALS AND SNORTS)
_________________________________

(GUNSHOTS AND BABIES CRYING)
_________________________________

"A thousand eyes." What could that be?
_________________________________

Hmm, I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.

_________________________________

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married

to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
_________________________________

Actually, it's aged me horribly.
_________________________________

Then say hello to the newest Simpson!

_________________________________

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Homer!
_________________________________

(QUIET GRUNT)
_________________________________

I believe what happened in church

was a warning about precisely this.
_________________________________

Please, get rid of that pig!
_________________________________

Oh, you're gonna love him.

Look, he does an impression of you.
_________________________________

(SQUEALS LOUDLY)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) You nailed her.
_________________________________

He also does me.
_________________________________

(BELCHES)
_________________________________

(MARGE LAUGHING)
_________________________________

You smiled! I'm off the hook!
_________________________________

Ooh.
_________________________________

(HOMER HUMMING)
_________________________________

Oh, you have so many looks.
_________________________________

(PLOPPER SNORTS)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(KISSING)
_________________________________

(VACUUM WHIRRING)
_________________________________

Hmm, so that's what snug is.
_________________________________
HOMER: Who's a good pig?

_________________________________

(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
_________________________________

Who's a good pig?
_________________________________
FLANDERS: Rough day, huh, son?

_________________________________

You don't know what rough is, sister.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Bart, you know, whenever my boys

bake up a batch of frownies,
_________________________________

I take them fishing.
_________________________________

Does your dad ever take you fishing?
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

-Dad!
_________________________________

It's not fair to use a bug zapper
to catch the fish.

_________________________________

If you love fish like I do,

you want them to die with dignity.
_________________________________

(LOUD ZAPPING)
_________________________________

(GURGLING)
_________________________________

I think I have a nibble. (SCREAMS)
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

-(SCREAMING)

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

I think fishing might be
more fun with you.

_________________________________

Oh, great. Now, how about

I fix you some cocoa?
_________________________________

No way, cocoa's for wusses.
_________________________________

Well, sir, if you change your mind,

it's on the windowsill.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(SLURPING)
_________________________________
BART: Oh, my God.

_________________________________

Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the

best part. He loves the environment.
_________________________________

Oh, wait, I still didn't tell you

the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.
_________________________________

No, no, wait, wait!
I still didn't tell you the best part!

_________________________________

He's not imaginary.
_________________________________

Oh, honey, that's great.
_________________________________

But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.

_________________________________

Because nothing means more
than for a man to...
_________________________________

How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?
_________________________________

HOMER: (SINGING) Spider Pig
_________________________________
♪ Spider Pig
_________________________________

♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________

♪ Can he swing from a web?
_________________________________

♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
_________________________________

♪ Look out
He is the Spider-Pig

_________________________________
RALPH: Okay. My turn, my turn.

Um, I got one.
_________________________________

VANELLOPE:
Great, but can you make it
_________________________________
a little more challenging this time?
_________________________________

RALPH: Okay. Check this out.
(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

I spy with my little eye...
_________________________________

something yellow...
_________________________________

and round, and it eats dots.
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: (SCOFFS)
Seriously, Ralph?
_________________________________

RALPH: Yeah, seriously.

You're never gonna get it.
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Well, obviously,
it's Pac-Man.
_________________________________

RALPH: No, that's not...
_________________________________
Why is it obvious?
_________________________________

Name one other thing
in this whole arcade
_________________________________

that is yellow and round and eats dots.
_________________________________

I can name two things.
_________________________________
Ms. Pac-Man and Baby Pac-Man.
_________________________________
Boom! I accept your apology.
_________________________________

Yeah, you're right. Okay.
But was it Pac-Man?

_________________________________

-Yeah, you got me.
-(VANELLOPE LAUGHS)
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Knew it.
All right, riddle me this...
_________________________________

do you or do you not think
that Zangief waxes?
_________________________________

No way. Look at the guy.

He looks like a yeti.
_________________________________

I don't know.
_________________________________
I mean, if the fur
were confined to his chest,

_________________________________

I might agree...
_________________________________
but look at those two very specific
_________________________________

tuffets of shin hair...
_________________________________

poking out of his boots.
_________________________________

That does not just happen,
Ralph. That is a choice.
_________________________________

RALPH:
You're totally right, kid.
_________________________________

He's baby smooth everywhere else.
_________________________________

I rest my case.
_________________________________
My mind is blown!
_________________________________

Let's go get a root beer.
_________________________________

RALPH: (SIGHS) Okay, let's see
what you got, kid.
_________________________________

-(BURPS)
-Ooh!
_________________________________
Nice one. Okay.
(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________
I think I got one in the chamber.
_________________________________

-(BURPS LOUDLY)
-Ew!
_________________________________
-Gross.

-Thank you.
_________________________________

Hey, wanna sneak into Tron?

_________________________________
Doesn't that game have a virus?
_________________________________

No. I'm sure they fixed it.
_________________________________

-(LASERS ZAPPING)
-VANELLOPE: Whoo!
_________________________________
I'm gonna beat my speed record!
_________________________________

Hey, wait for me!
_________________________________
(VANELLOPE WHOOPING)
_________________________________
(DISTORTED WHOOPING)
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Ralph.
_________________________________

RALPH: Yeah?
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: I don't think
they fixed the game.
_________________________________

RALPH: Uh... No.
_________________________________

Help!
_________________________________
Hey, Tron!
_________________________________
Tronny!
_________________________________
Tronny boy!
_________________________________

Help!
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Do you realize
_________________________________
we're basically
just, like, zeroes and ones...

_________________________________

floating around the universe
like tiny specks of dust?
_________________________________

Like, doesn't the very nature
_________________________________
of our existence make you wonder...
_________________________________

if there's more to life than this?
_________________________________

Why would I wonder
if there's more to life
_________________________________
when the life I got is perfect?
_________________________________

I mean, sure.
Doesn't look so hot on paper.
_________________________________

I'm just a bad guy
from some old video game
_________________________________
who wrecks a building.

_________________________________
And yeah, for 27 years,
_________________________________
I was a total zero without any friends.
_________________________________

But now,
I got a best friend...
_________________________________
who just happens to be
_________________________________
the coolest kid in the whole arcade.

_________________________________

Aw, thanks, pal.
_________________________________

Watch this.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

-(BUZZING)
-RALPH: Home run!
_________________________________

All right,
let's go watch the sunrise.

_________________________________

(DUCKS QUACKING)
_________________________________

Are we having fun yet?
_________________________________

We are now. You've got a bite.
_________________________________

Whoa, mama!
_________________________________

Oh, no, my good pole!
_________________________________

(CHOKING)
_________________________________

Huh? You're not strangling me.
_________________________________

What the...

Why, strangling's only good for...
_________________________________

Well, it's not really good for anything.
_________________________________

I think the only time

you should lay hands on a boy
_________________________________

is when you're giving him

a good old pat on the back.
_________________________________

Hey, what the hell are you...
_________________________________

Oh... One more time.
_________________________________

-(INCOHERENT RAMBLING)

-(MEOWING)
_________________________________

-(BOTTLES CLINKING)

-Honey, I'm home.
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

(GROWLS)
_________________________________

(GUITAR PLAYING SWEETLY)
_________________________________
LISA: We are at the
tipping point, people.

_________________________________

If we don't do something now, uh...
_________________________________

I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought.
Isn't he dreamy?

_________________________________

-Agreed.

-(GAVEL BANGS)
_________________________________

Okay, so here's the bottom line.
_________________________________

If we don't change our ways right now,
_________________________________

pollution in Lake Springfield

will be at this level.
_________________________________

(MOTOR WHIRRING)
_________________________________

That's not so bad.
_________________________________

-No, the lift is stuck.

-(GEARS GRINDING)
_________________________________

(WHIRRING AND GRINDING)
_________________________________

(CRASHING)
_________________________________

Am I getting through to anyone?
_________________________________

Hell, yeah. We need a new one
of those things.

_________________________________

All in favor of a new scissor lift say aye.
_________________________________

-CROWD: Aye.

-No!
_________________________________

This lake is just one piece of trash

away from a toxic nightmare.
_________________________________

But I knew you wouldn't listen,
_________________________________

so I took the liberty of pouring water

from the lake
_________________________________

in all your drinking glasses.
_________________________________

(SPITTING AND GROANING)
_________________________________
MOE: This is why we should hate kids.

_________________________________

This is serious, people.
_________________________________

No more dumping in the lake.

I hereby declare a state of emergency.
_________________________________

Code black.
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

Black? That's the worst color there is.
_________________________________

-No offense there, Carl.

-I get it all the time.
_________________________________

(TRIUMPHANT

ORCHESTRATION PLAYS)
_________________________________

(SIZZLING)
_________________________________

(MACHINERY WHIRRING)
_________________________________

Uh, sorry, sorry. No dumping in the lake.
_________________________________

Fine. I will put my yard

trimmings in a car compactor.
_________________________________

Uh... Chief, I think there

was a dead body in there.
_________________________________

I thought that too,

until he said "yard trimmings."
_________________________________

You got to learn to listen, Lou.
_________________________________

Let us now make sure this barrier

is completely idiot proof.
_________________________________

-Cletus.

-Yessum?
_________________________________

Try to dump something in the lake.
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

I can't. (STAMMERS) I simply can't.
_________________________________

-Brilliant.

-Very effective.

_________________________________

VANELLOPE:
Are you really saying
_________________________________

there's not one single,
solitary thing...
_________________________________
about your life that you would change?

_________________________________

RALPH: Well, think about it.
_________________________________
You and me get to
goof off all night long.
_________________________________

Litwak shows up, we go to
work, we put in our hours.
_________________________________
Then the arcade closes
_________________________________

and we get to do it all over again.
_________________________________

The only thing I might do

different in that scenario...
_________________________________

would be not having to go to work.
_________________________________
Other than that, (CHUCKLES)
I wouldn't change a thing.
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________

Hey, where'd our sunrise go?
_________________________________

MR. LITWAK: All right,
let's get you plugged in.
_________________________________
(BEEPING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
That's a plug-in alert.
_________________________________

Litwak hasn't plugged in
a new game in forever.
_________________________________
-Let's go see what it is!
-Yeah!
_________________________________

RALPH: Excuse us. Excuse us.
Minor emergency.
_________________________________
Hey, Felix, Calhoun,
what's getting plugged in?
_________________________________

Well, Ralph, Sonic thinks
_________________________________
it's gonna be a new pinball machine.
_________________________________

What do you think, lady love?
_________________________________

I'll bet you a shiny nickel

it's a blood pressure machine.
_________________________________

-Kids love those things.
-RALPH: Ooh.
_________________________________
(ALARM BLARING)
_________________________________

Please be a racing game.
Please be a racing game.
_________________________________
Please be a racing game.
_________________________________

"Whiffee"? Or, "Wifey"?
_________________________________

Well, it's either wiffle ball,

or an arranged marriage game.
_________________________________

It's actually pronounced "Wi-Fi," Ralph.
_________________________________

Yeah, that's what I said.
_________________________________

And Wi-Fi is the Internet...
_________________________________

which is an online community
_________________________________

where human beings go to shop...
_________________________________

and play games and socialize.
_________________________________

Ooh, fun!
_________________________________

Oh, no, it is not.
_________________________________

That sign right there says "Wi-Fi."
_________________________________

What it should say is "Die-Fi."
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

That's a little humor there.
_________________________________
But seriously, the Internet
is nothing to laugh at.
_________________________________

It is new, it is different,
_________________________________
and therefore we should fear it.
_________________________________

So keep out, for Pete's sake,
and get to work.
_________________________________
The arcade's about to open.
_________________________________

Figures, we finally get

something new plugged in...
_________________________________

and we're not even allowed
to go in there.
_________________________________

Totally not fair.
_________________________________

A new racing game would've been cool.
_________________________________

Something wrong with your game?
_________________________________

No, no.
_________________________________

It's just every bonus level's
been unlocked.
_________________________________
I know every shortcut.
_________________________________

Man, I'd kill for even just a new track!
_________________________________

New track? You already got,
like, three choices.
_________________________________

Yeah, I know,
but don't you ever wish

_________________________________

something new and different..
_________________________________

would happen in your game?
_________________________________

Nope.
_________________________________

Really?
Well, agree to disagree.

_________________________________

Wait, I don't wanna disagree.
_________________________________

No, no.
It's just a fancy way to say
_________________________________

we don't have to argue about it.
_________________________________

We're arguing?
I don't wanna argue.
_________________________________

Relax. Stop making it a thing.
_________________________________
Go to work. I'll see you
tonight, stench-vessel.
_________________________________

All right.
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________

She wants a new track,
I'll give her a new track.

_________________________________

So now I had a secret life.

_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CACKLING)
_________________________________

The only one who knew about it
was Emile.
_________________________________

(WHISPERING FIERCELY)
Hey, Emile. Emile.

_________________________________

I found a mushroom.

_________________________________

Come on, you're good at hiding food.
Help me find a good place to put this.

_________________________________

He doesn't understand me,
but I can be myself around him.

_________________________________
Why are you walking like that?
_________________________________

I don't want to constantly
have to wash my paws.

_________________________________

Did you ever think about how we walk
on the same paws
_________________________________

that we handle food with?
_________________________________

You ever think about
what we put into our mouths?
_________________________________

All the time.

_________________________________

When I eat, I don't want to taste
everywhere my paws have been.

_________________________________

Well, go ahead.

_________________________________

But if Dad sees you walking like that,
he's not going to like it.

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

What have you got there?
_________________________________

Ah, oh, oh...

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

You found cheese?
_________________________________

And not just any cheese.
Tomme de chevre de pays!
_________________________________

That would go beautifully
with my mushroom.

_________________________________

And...

_________________________________

(STUTTERING)
_________________________________

This rosemary! This rosemary
_________________________________

with maybe with a few drops
from this sweet grass.

_________________________________

Well, throw it on the pile, I guess,
and then we'll... You know...

_________________________________

We don't want to throw this in
with the garbage. This is special.

_________________________________

But we're supposed
to return to the colony
_________________________________

before sundown or,
you know, Dad's gonna...

_________________________________

Emile!
_________________________________

There are possibilities
unexplored here.

_________________________________

We got to cook this.

_________________________________

Now, exactly how we cook this
is the real question...

_________________________________

Yeah.

_________________________________

The key is to keep turning it.

_________________________________

Get the smoky flavor nice and even.

_________________________________

(THUNDER RUMBLING)
_________________________________

That storm's getting closer.

_________________________________

Hey, Remy, you think that maybe
we shouldn't be so...

_________________________________

(BOTH SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(MOANING)
_________________________________

(MUNCHING)
_________________________________

Oh! You got to taste this!
_________________________________

This is... It's got this kind of...
It's burny, melty...

_________________________________

It's not really a smoky taste.
It's a certain... It's kind of like a...

_________________________________

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

It's got, like, this "ba-boom, zap"
kind of taste. Don't you think?
_________________________________

-What would you call that flavor?

-(HESITANTLY) Lightning-y?
_________________________________

Yeah. It's lightning-y!
We got to do that again.

_________________________________

Okay, when the next storm comes,
we'll go up on the roof...

_________________________________

I know what this needs! Saffron!
A little saffron would make this!
_________________________________

Saffron. Why do I get the feeling
_________________________________

-it's in the kitchen?

-It's in the kitchen.

_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

(KISSING)
_________________________________

Ayayay!
_________________________________

Un burro amoroso!
_________________________________

Don't get any ideas. Huh?
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Maybe we should kiss
just to break the tension.

_________________________________

What's going on here?
_________________________________

Uh, nothing, nothing.
_________________________________

I'm not sure that pig
should be in the house.

_________________________________

And by the way,
what are you doing with his leavings?

_________________________________

Don't worry. I've devised a most
elegant solution.

_________________________________

(GROANS) Oh, it's leaking.
_________________________________

It's not leaking, it's overflowing.
_________________________________

He filled up the whole silo

in just two days?
_________________________________

Well, I helped.
_________________________________

Homer, stop. I know it's easy

for your mind to wander...
_________________________________

(CYMBALS CLICKING)
_________________________________

(MUFFLED) I want you

to really concentrate on me.
_________________________________

I can't escape the feeling that this is
the crisis Grandpa warned us about.

_________________________________

You have to dispose
of that waste properly.

_________________________________

Okay, Marge, I will.
_________________________________

You can take Spider Pig with you.
_________________________________

He's not Spider-Pig anymore.

He's Harry Plopper.
_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

(FAINT CELL PHONE RINGING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Y'ello.
_________________________________

Homer, you got to get over here.
_________________________________

Health inspector
shut down the doughnut store,
_________________________________
they're giving out free doughnuts.

_________________________________

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

I just got one thing I got to do first.
_________________________________

Well, you better hurry!
They're going fast.

_________________________________

(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

Whoa, that was close.
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(GURGLING)
_________________________________

(GURGLING)
_________________________________

(FIZZING)
_________________________________

Uh-oh.
_________________________________
SKULL: Evil!

_________________________________

Drive, drive, drive!
_________________________________

-(SNORTING)

-Oh, right.
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

(CHITTERING)
_________________________________

(SNARLING)
_________________________________

(BUBBLING)
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

(GIGGLES)
_________________________________

Look at that. You can see the

four states that border Springfield.
_________________________________

Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.
_________________________________

Oh, yeah.
_________________________________

And if you look real close,

you can almost... (SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

Well, this certainly seems odd,
_________________________________

but who am I to question

the work of the Almighty?
_________________________________

Oh, we thank you, Lord, for

this mighty fine intelligent design.
_________________________________

Good job.
_________________________________
BART: Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab!

_________________________________

Hey, jab one more eye,
and it's a federal crime.

_________________________________

-Who are you?

-Environmental Protection Agency.
_________________________________

Russ Cargill, head of the E.P.A.,

here to see the president.
_________________________________

(BUZZING)
_________________________________

(RAPID BUZZING)
_________________________________

Mr. President.
_________________________________

Ja. That is me.
_________________________________

Pollution in Springfield

has reached crisis levels.
_________________________________

Oh... I hate this job. Everything's

crisis this and end of the world that.
_________________________________

Nobody opens with a joke.

I miss Danny DeVito.
_________________________________

You want a joke, huh?

Stop me if you've heard this one.
_________________________________

-(GROWLING)

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

Look at those angry eyes
and giant teeth.

_________________________________

It's like Christmas

at the Kennedy compound.
_________________________________

You know, sir, when you

made me head of the E.P.A.,
_________________________________

you were applauded for appointing one

of the most successful men in America
_________________________________

to the least successful

agency in government.
_________________________________

And why did I take the job?
_________________________________

'Cause I'm a rich man who

wanted to give something back.
_________________________________

Not the money, but something.
_________________________________

So here is our chance to kick

some ass for Mother Earth.
_________________________________

I'm listening.
_________________________________

Well, I've narrowed your choices
down to five unthinkable options.

_________________________________

Each will cause untold misery...
_________________________________

I pick number three.
_________________________________

You don't even want to read them first?
_________________________________

I was elected to lead, not to read.
Number three!

_________________________________

(LOW RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(INHALER WHOOSING)
_________________________________

(CHOKING)
_________________________________

(RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(ROTORS WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(CRACKING AND RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(GASPING) We're being sealed
in a dome! (YELLS)

_________________________________

(THUDS) Whoa!
_________________________________

Oh, what do I do?

I don't know what to do.
_________________________________

If I stay I'm trapped, if I leave I'm alone.
_________________________________

Oh, God! In, out, in, out...
_________________________________

I never saw Venice.
_________________________________

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(CRASHING)
_________________________________

EPA! EPA! Trapped forever.
_________________________________

It's all come true.
_________________________________

That crazy old man in church was right.
_________________________________

(SUCTION POPPING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING) D'oh-ome!
_________________________________

(INDISTINCT MURMURING)
_________________________________

(SIRENS APPROACHING)
_________________________________

(GASPING AND SHRIEKING)
_________________________________

All right, men, open fire.
_________________________________

-(GUNSHOTS RICOCHETING)

-COPS: Ow!
_________________________________

Who's hurt? Raise your hands.
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Without the attitude.
_________________________________

People, people.
I have an important announcement.

_________________________________

I have just perfected
an acid-firing super-drill

_________________________________

which can cut through anything.
_________________________________

-Hey, that's cool.

-(CROWD GASPING)
_________________________________

It's right there.
Just outside... of the dome.

_________________________________

(CROWD GROANING)
_________________________________

(BANGING)
_________________________________

What ruthless madmen

could have done this to us?
_________________________________
CARGILL:

The United States government.
_________________________________

(GASPING AND MURMURING)
_________________________________

(STATIC HISSES)
_________________________________

My name is Russ Cargill,

and I'm head of the E.P.A.
_________________________________

(INDISTINCT MURMURING)
_________________________________

The what?
_________________________________

-Environmental Protection Agency.

-LENNY: Come again?
_________________________________

Look, I'm a man on a big TV. Just listen.
_________________________________

-Springfield has become...

-MAN 1: Whoo! Springfield!
_________________________________

the most polluted city

in the history of the planet.
_________________________________
KRUSTY: Drama queen!

_________________________________

To keep your poisons from spreading,
_________________________________

your government has

sealed you all within this dome.
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

Believe me,
it's the last thing we wanted to do.
_________________________________

I do own the company that makes

the dome, but that's beside the point.
_________________________________

What, are you telling us
we're trapped like rats?

_________________________________

No, rats can't be trapped this easily.

You're trapped like carrots.
_________________________________

Wait. We couldn't be more polluted.

Everyone stopped dumping in the lake.
_________________________________

Apparently someone
didn't get the message.

_________________________________

Act natural.
_________________________________

(SNORTS)
_________________________________

Hey, buddy, sooner or later, people are
going to come by and discover this.

_________________________________

Don't worry about that. We found

a way to take you off the map.
_________________________________
G.P.S.: Coming up on your right...

_________________________________

-(BEEP)

-Nothing.
_________________________________

This is Kent Brockman,

reporting to you on a crisis so serious
_________________________________

it has its own name and theme music.
_________________________________

(DRAMATIC THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

The dome has put

an end to life as we know it.
_________________________________

The town is running low on supplies

of everything from gasoline to Botox.
_________________________________

Moment, please.
_________________________________

Now, as always, (CHUCKLES)

we end our news on the lighter side.
_________________________________

It's the time of year when

the swallows return to Springfield.
_________________________________

(CHIRPING)
_________________________________

(THUDDING)
_________________________________

(SCREECHING ALONG GLASS)
_________________________________

(MEOWING)

_________________________________
(WHIRRING)
_________________________________

SWATI: Come on, Nafisa!

Let's play Sugar Rush!
_________________________________

Pick Vanellope, Swati.
She's got the best superpower.

_________________________________

Yeah, the glitch. I love her.
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Drivers,
_________________________________
-start your engines.
-(ENGINES REVVING)
_________________________________

You're gonna lose today,
Princess.
_________________________________

While, yes, I am technically
a princess, Taffyta...

_________________________________

I'd rather you'd just think of
me as plain old Vanellope...
_________________________________

the racer who's about to kick your butt.
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER:
Three, two, one, go!

_________________________________
(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________
And pardon me, excuse me,
coming through.
_________________________________
VANELLOPE: Whoo-hoo!
_________________________________
Whoo!
_________________________________
And one, two, three gumboils
right on cue.
_________________________________

Yeah, I love it when she glitches.
_________________________________
(ENGINES REVVING)
_________________________________
(VANELLOPE SNORING)
_________________________________
Ooh! Huh.
_________________________________

Excuse me.
I must have fallen asleep.
_________________________________

Oh, fun. I'm winning.
_________________________________
(CRYING)
_________________________________
ANNOUNCER:
Vanellope takes a huge lead.
_________________________________
No one's gonna catch her now.
_________________________________
(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

She's gonna love this.
_________________________________
(ENGINE REVVING)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Right on time.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

"Looking for something new...
_________________________________
"and different?
_________________________________

"Then take this track."
(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

Oh, Ralph,
you old son-of-a-gun.
_________________________________

I'd say I got a little time for a detour.
_________________________________

SWATI: Whoa!
_________________________________
Hey, look, I think I unlocked
a new track.
_________________________________

-Never seen that before.
-(VANELLOPE WHOOPING)
_________________________________
(EXCLAIMING SHAKILY)
_________________________________

This is awesome!
_________________________________

-Hey, thanks, Ralph!
-(RALPH LAUGHS)
_________________________________

You're welcome!
_________________________________

Get back up on the track,
Swati.
_________________________________

You're going to lose.
_________________________________
(STAMMERS) I can't.
It's like it's driving itself.

_________________________________
Whoo! (EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

What is wrong with this thing?
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES) What?
_________________________________
-(GRUNTING)
-(GASPS, GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
-(GRUNTING)
-(GASPS)
_________________________________

-(YELLS) No, no!
-(GASPS)
_________________________________
RALPH: Kid!
_________________________________
(VANELLOPE SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(VANELLOPE SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
_________________________________

RALPH: Kid! Kid!
_________________________________

Oh, kid, I'm so sorry,
are you okay?

_________________________________
VANELLOPE: Oh, my gosh.
_________________________________

What an amazing track!
_________________________________
Thank you, Ralph! Thank you,
thank you, thank you!
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) You're welcome!
_________________________________

You know I take my duty
as your hero very seriously.
_________________________________

Wait a minute.
_________________________________
You took a serious doody where?
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(WHISPERING)
Vanellope, get up here.
_________________________________

We have a situation.
_________________________________

Mr. Litwak, the Vanellope

racer wasn't working...
_________________________________
and I think maybe
I turned the wheel too hard.
_________________________________

-Whoa.

-I'm real sorry.
_________________________________

It's okay, Swati.
_________________________________

I think I can get it back
on there pretty easy.

_________________________________

-What did you do, Ralph?

-Nothing.
_________________________________

Leave him alone.
_________________________________
He was just trying to
make the game more exciting.

_________________________________
Yeah, why don't you relax,
Taffyta? Litwak will fix it.
_________________________________

All right, on you...
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
-(NAFISA GASPS)
-Oh!
_________________________________

Okay. Still not a problem.
_________________________________

He'll just order a new part.
_________________________________

Well, I'd order the new part...
_________________________________

but the company that made Sugar Rush

_________________________________
went out of business years ago.
_________________________________
-(RALPH SIGHS)
-(CANDLEHEAD EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

BOYD: I can try to find one
on the Internet.
_________________________________

NAFISA: Good idea.
GIRL: Oh, me too.
_________________________________

Good luck, that'll be like
finding a needle in a...
_________________________________

I found one! On ebay!
_________________________________

Really? How about that?
_________________________________

See? Those kids have it under control.
_________________________________
They're just gonna get another

wheel from the eboy.
_________________________________

MR. LITWAK: Are you
kidding me? How much?
_________________________________

That's more than this game
makes in a year.
_________________________________

Aw, I hate to say it,
_________________________________
but my salvage guy
is coming on Friday...
_________________________________

and it might be time to sell

Sugar Rush for parts.
_________________________________

-SWATI: Aww.
-Where's he going?
_________________________________

Litwak's gonna unplug the game.
_________________________________

Get out of here!
Go, scram, let's go, run!
_________________________________
RALPH: Go, run, run, run, run!
_________________________________
-Let's go!
-JUBILEENA: Run!
_________________________________
(SURGE PROTECTOR WHISTLING)
_________________________________
(RUMBLING)
_________________________________

WYNNCHEL: Gangway!
_________________________________
DUNCAN: Yeah,
you heard him, gangway!
_________________________________
(GROANS) Stop it! No running!
_________________________________

What are you people doing
out of your game,

_________________________________
for Peter's sake?
_________________________________

The arcade is open!
_________________________________

(PANTING) Sugar Rush
is getting unplugged.
_________________________________
(WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
_________________________________
-(POWERING DOWN)
-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

-We're homeless! (SOBBING)

-Yeah, yeah, we're homeless!
_________________________________

-Oh, what are we gonna do?
-(CRYING)
_________________________________

Y'all, calm down, calm down.

Get a hold of yourselves.
_________________________________
SUGAR RUSH CANDY:
I don't want to be gameless.
_________________________________
(SURGE PROTECTOR GROANS)

_________________________________
An unplugging.
Good Lord.

_________________________________
I haven't seen
this many gameless characters
_________________________________

since Space Invaders went down.
_________________________________
Um...
_________________________________

Where are we gonna live?
_________________________________

Well, you can stay here until
the arcade closes, I guess...
_________________________________

and then we'll figure out
_________________________________
where the heck we're gonna put you all.

_________________________________

(WIND RUSTLING TREES)
_________________________________

(MARGE SIGHS DEEPLY)
_________________________________

I think the thing I miss most

is a simple summer breeze.
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Maggie?
_________________________________

(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: We've got dome

wax, dome polish, dome freshener,

_________________________________

all your dome needs at Dome Depot,

located at the intersection
_________________________________

of the 105 Freeway and the dome.
_________________________________

CHORUS: Dome Depot!
_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________

-Maggie got out! Maggie got out!

-Huh?
_________________________________

Maggie was right there.
Just outside the dome.

_________________________________

Marge, she's right here.
_________________________________

Hmm?
_________________________________

This dome can play tricks on you.

You just have to keep calm and...
_________________________________

Oh, my God!
_________________________________

I'm out of the dome. Fresh air! Freedom!

_________________________________

(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
_________________________________

I'll write you. Lead good lives.
_________________________________

(HOMER GROANS)
_________________________________

(MARGE SIGHS HEAVILY)
_________________________________

(SUCKS PACIFIER)

_________________________________

(SNORING)
_________________________________

(BOTTLES CLINKING)
_________________________________

-REMY: Saffron.

-Not good.

_________________________________

Saffron.

_________________________________

Don't like it. She's gonna wake up.

_________________________________

I've been down here a million times.

_________________________________

She turns on the cooking channel,
boom, she never wakes up.

_________________________________

You've been here a million times?
_________________________________

I'm telling you, saffron will be
just the thing. Gusteau swears by it.

_________________________________

Okay. Who's Gusteau?
_________________________________

Just the greatest chef in the world.
Wrote this cookbook.

_________________________________

(STAMMERING)
Wait. You read?
_________________________________

-Well, not excessively.

-Oh, man. Does Dad know?
_________________________________

(SCOFFS) You could fill a book, a lot
of books, with things Dad doesn't know.

_________________________________

And they have, which is why I read.
Which is also our secret.

_________________________________

I don't like secrets.

_________________________________

(STUTTERING) All this cooking
and reading and TV-watching
_________________________________

while we read and cook.

_________________________________

It's like you're involving me in crime,
and I let you.

_________________________________

Why do I let you?
_________________________________

What's taking those kids so long?
_________________________________

Ah, I'Aquila saffron. Italian. Huh?
_________________________________

Gusteau says it's excellent.
Good thing the old lady is a food love...

_________________________________

GUSTEAU: (ON TV) Forget mystique.
This is about your cooking.

_________________________________
Hey! That's Gusteau. Emile, look.
_________________________________

Great cooking
is not for the faint of heart.
_________________________________

You must be imaginative,
strong hearted.
_________________________________

You must try things that may not work.
_________________________________

And you must not let anyone
define your limits
_________________________________

because of where you come from.
_________________________________

Your only limit is your soul.
_________________________________

What I say is true. Anyone can cook.
But only the fearless can be great.

_________________________________
Pure poetry.

_________________________________
Good evening, this is Kent Brockman.
_________________________________

Efforts to find out whose selfish crime
_________________________________

against the environment caused

our entrapment have been fruitless.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

-Until moments ago...

-(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

a shocking discovery has been made
here at Lake Springfield.

_________________________________

That could be anybody's pig-crap silo.
_________________________________

-(SHRIEKS)

-(GASPS) Homer!

_________________________________
It was you!
_________________________________

You single-handedly killed this town.
_________________________________

I know. It's weird.
_________________________________

Just a reminder. This station

does not endorse vigilante justice.
_________________________________

Unless it gets results. Which it will.
_________________________________

(BUZZER SOUNDING)
_________________________________

You didn't listen to me
after I warned you!

_________________________________

Don't worry, nobody

watches this stupid show.

_________________________________

REPORTER: But it was not to last.
_________________________________

Gusteau's restaurant lost
one of its five stars
_________________________________

after a scathing review
by France's top food critic, Anton Ego.
_________________________________

It was a severe blow to Gusteau,
_________________________________

and the brokenhearted chef
died shortly afterwards,
_________________________________

which, according to tradition,
meant the loss of another star.

_________________________________
Gusteau is dead?

_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Oh! Oh!
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Run!
_________________________________

No, you'll lead her to the colony!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CLICKING)

_________________________________

Hmm, what's that ominous

glow in the distance?

_________________________________

(CLAMORING)
_________________________________

MOB: (CHANTING)

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
_________________________________

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
_________________________________

Marge, look, those idiots

don't even know where we live.
_________________________________

-MOB: Kill! Kill! Kill!

-D'oh!
_________________________________

MOB: (CHANTING)

We want Homer! We want Homer!
_________________________________

You monster! You monster!
_________________________________

Uh, did you see the news?
_________________________________

Honey, come on,
we have bigger problems.

_________________________________

But I'm so angry.
_________________________________

You're a woman.
You can hold on to it forever.

_________________________________

(SNIFFLES)
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

(CHANTING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

Homer, you have to go out there,

face that mob
_________________________________

and apologize for what you did.
_________________________________

I would, but I'm afraid if I

open the door, they'll take all of you.
_________________________________
CARL: No, we won't.

We just want Homer!

_________________________________

Well, maybe not you,

but they'll kill Grandpa.
_________________________________
GRAMPA: I'm part of the mob!

_________________________________

Teeny, take out the baby!
_________________________________

(SCREECHES)
_________________________________

(SQUEALING)
_________________________________

(CLAMORING)
_________________________________

(SWEET, ROMANTIC

THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Here, let me get that for you.
_________________________________

(DISAPPOINTED SIGH)

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

-Help, Remy, help!

-Emile! Start swinging the light!

_________________________________
(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Try to grab you.

_________________________________

(GRUMBLING)
_________________________________

Emile, swing to me.

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)

_________________________________

(RATTLING)
_________________________________

Stay back. I got a chain saw!
_________________________________

(IMITATES CHAIN SAW REVVING)
_________________________________

(SLOWLY, WEAKLY MAKING

CHAIN SAW SOUNDS)
_________________________________

Uh-oh.
_________________________________

(MOB SHOUTING)
_________________________________

Bart! Crawl across, hurry!
_________________________________

But if they see you

trying to help us, they'll kill you.
_________________________________

Oh, pshaw! I'm sure your

father would do the same for...
_________________________________

Point taken. Now, hustle your bustles.
_________________________________

Archers!
_________________________________

I'm using a red arrow,
so I know who I kill.

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

No, Plopper.

If you push that, daddy will die.
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Hey, my luck's beginning to turn.
_________________________________

Wait! There's something I have to get.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Ooh!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

-What'd you get?

-Our wedding video.
_________________________________

-We have a wedding video?

-KRUSTY: Torch his gas tank!
_________________________________

We lost 'em.
_________________________________

Yahoo!
_________________________________

(HOMER LAUGHING)

_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(CRACKING)
_________________________________

(CREAKING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(RATS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Evacuate! Everyone, to the boats.

_________________________________

(ALL CLAMORING)
_________________________________

-RAT: Let me through!

-The book.

_________________________________

Excuse me. Move, move.

_________________________________

(AIR HISSING)
_________________________________

(WHIMPERING)

_________________________________

BART: Ooh! Up here!
_________________________________

Get 'em! Get 'em!
_________________________________
HOMER: Um, little help?

_________________________________

(HOMER HOWLS)
_________________________________

You know, the word "apology"...
_________________________________

is tossed around a lot these days,

but when it comes from in here...
_________________________________

D'oh!
_________________________________

(HOMER SCREAMS)
_________________________________

Mom, what are we gonna do?
_________________________________

Maggie, not now.
_________________________________

We'll play later.

_________________________________

Go, go, go, go. Move, move, move.

_________________________________

Get the bridge up! Move it, move it!
_________________________________

FEMALE RAT:
Hey, Johnny! Hurry!
_________________________________

Push off. Come on.

_________________________________

Get hold!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

-Take the baby. Here!

-Give me your paw.

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

The sinkhole. Follow me, kids.
_________________________________
BART: Geronimo!
LISA: Sacajawea!

_________________________________

Hey, wait for me!
_________________________________

(THUNDER CRACKING)
_________________________________

Is everybody here?
Do we have everybody?

_________________________________
-Wait a minute. Where's Remy?

-Right here. I'm coming.

_________________________________

I'm coming!
_________________________________

Hold on, Son.
Give him something to grab on to.

_________________________________

Come on, boy. Paddle, Son.
_________________________________

Come on. Reach for it.

_________________________________

You can do it.

_________________________________

(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

-Remy!

-Dad!
_________________________________

Come on. You can make it.
You can make it.

_________________________________

(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

Guys, wait. Stop!
_________________________________

Remy. Come on. Paddle.

_________________________________

Hold on! Wait for me. Hold on.

_________________________________

(RATS SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Dad?
_________________________________

Dad?

_________________________________

So long, losers.
_________________________________

(THUD)

_________________________________

Uh-oh.
_________________________________

The top of his head is still showing.
Claw at it!

_________________________________

(HOMER SHRIEKING)
_________________________________
NELSON: Ha-ha!

_________________________________

Which way?
_________________________________

(WATER ROARING)

_________________________________

(GASPING)

_________________________________

(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________

(CAR ALARM WAILING)
_________________________________

(DEEP RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(CROWD SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(GASPING)

_________________________________

(CLOCK CHIMING)

_________________________________

(CUCKOOS)

_________________________________

Well, they're China's problem now.

_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________

Colin!
_________________________________

(NO AUDIO)
_________________________________

I can't hear you!
_________________________________

(MARKER SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

♪ Da, da-da, da-da, da, da... ♪
_________________________________

I never thought my life would have an

absolutely perfect moment, but this...
_________________________________

(SINGSONGY) Lisa's got a

boyfriend that she'll never see again!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Perfect.
_________________________________

(SIRENS WAILING)
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

-What do we do?

-Now we run.
_________________________________

I'm afraid we lost them, sir.
_________________________________

Damn it.
_________________________________

Well, then you find them and

you get them back in the dome.
_________________________________

And to make sure nobody else gets out,
_________________________________

I want roving death squads

around the perimeter 24/7.
_________________________________

I want 10,000 tough guys,
_________________________________

and I want 10,000 soft guys

to make the tough guys look tougher.
_________________________________

And here's how I want them arranged:

Tough, tough, soft, tough, soft,
_________________________________

soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft.

_________________________________

Sir, I'm afraid you've

gone mad with power.
_________________________________

Of course I have. Did you ever

try going mad without power?
_________________________________

It's boring. No one listens to you.
_________________________________

Whew!
_________________________________

(SIREN WAILS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

-(GROANING PASSIONATELY)

-(SMOOCHING)
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(SUCKS PACIFIER)
_________________________________

(HELICOPTER BLADE WHIRRING)
_________________________________

-Bart, are you drinking whiskey?

-I'm troubled.
_________________________________

-Bart.

-I promise I'll stop tomorrow.
_________________________________

You'll stop right now.
_________________________________

You come back here, little man.
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(DRUNKENLY)
I miss Flanders. There, I said it!

_________________________________

-Where's your father?

-He went out.
_________________________________

Let's quickly rebuild our lives
while he's gone.

_________________________________
HOMER: Hey, guys?

_________________________________

What's the secret knock again?
_________________________________

Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.
_________________________________

It's huge! We're homeless!
_________________________________

Our friends wanna kill us!
_________________________________

Before we can even
stay in the same room with you,

_________________________________

I need to know
what was going through your mind

_________________________________

when you didn't listen to me
_________________________________

and dumped that silo in the lake.
_________________________________

-(CLUELESS WHIMPER)

-Homer!
_________________________________

I don't know what to tell you, Marge.

I don't think about things.
_________________________________

I respect people who do, but...
_________________________________

I just try to make the days not hurt
_________________________________

until I get to crawl in next to you again.
_________________________________

(SWEETLY) Oh...
_________________________________

(STERNLY) I mean, oh.
_________________________________

Look, I'm really sorry.
But I'm more than just sorry.

_________________________________

I'm prepared with a solution.
_________________________________

I've always been afraid

I'd screw up our lives so badly
_________________________________

that we'd need a backup plan.
_________________________________

And that plan is right here.
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

No...
_________________________________

Nope.
_________________________________

Bingo.
_________________________________

Bear with me.
_________________________________

Ta... da!
_________________________________

(ANGELIC CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________

Alaska?
_________________________________

Alaska. A place where you

can't be too fat or too drunk.
_________________________________

Where no one says things like:
_________________________________

"Let's see your high school

equivalency certificate."
_________________________________

Oh, I don't know, Homie.
_________________________________

Oh, I'm not saying it right.
_________________________________

Look, the thing is,
I can't start a new life alone.

_________________________________

And I've really come to like you guys.
_________________________________

I just don't see it.
_________________________________

Marge, in every marriage,

you get one chance to say:
_________________________________

"I need you to do this with me."
_________________________________

And there's only one answer

when somebody says that.
_________________________________

Okay, Homie. I'm with you.
_________________________________

Thank you, my sweetheart.
_________________________________

-BART: Mom?

-Yes, honey?
_________________________________

You just bought another load of crap
_________________________________

from the world's
fattest fertilizer salesman.

_________________________________

You'll pay for ruining

this golden family moment!
_________________________________

Homer!
_________________________________

How are we supposed to get
to Alaska without any money?

_________________________________

All right, son, if you don't

believe in me, believe in America.
_________________________________

America, where any man can make

quick money with no questions asked.
_________________________________

________

Imagining in November 2017

_________________________________

(WATER DRIPPING)
_________________________________

REMY: I waited
_________________________________

for a sound,
_________________________________

a voice,
_________________________________

a sign,
_________________________________

something.

_________________________________
(STOMACH GROWLING)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

If you are hungry,
go up and look around, Remy.

_________________________________

Why do you wait and mope?
_________________________________

Well, I've just lost my family,
all my friends,
_________________________________

probably forever.

_________________________________

-How do you know?

-Well, I...

_________________________________

You are an illustration.
Why am I talking to you?
_________________________________

Well, you just lost your family,
all your friends. You are lonely.

_________________________________

Yeah. Well, you're dead.

_________________________________

Ah, but that is no match
for wishful thinking.

_________________________________

If you focus on what you've left behind,
_________________________________

you'll never be able to see
what lies ahead.

_________________________________

Now go up and look around.
_________________________________

_________________________________
File 82-712.
_________________________________

Agent Rick Dicker interrogating.
_________________________________

State your name, please.
_________________________________

Uh, Tony. Tony Rydinger.
_________________________________

Tell me about the incident.
_________________________________

Well, there's this girl,
um, in my class.
_________________________________

I saw her at the track meet.
_________________________________

-You're, uh, Violet, right?

-That's me.
_________________________________

TONY: I sort of knew her,
but she'd changed.
_________________________________
Relaxed.
She was more sure of herself.
_________________________________

Cool, cute.

_________________________________

I asked her out for a movie.
_________________________________

So, Friday?
_________________________________

-Friday.
-Friday.
_________________________________

TONY: And I went to watch
the track meet.
_________________________________

Not long after, this thing

happened in the parking lot.
_________________________________
(RUMBLING)
_________________________________
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
(PANTING)
_________________________________

UNDERMINER:
Behold! The Underminer!
_________________________________

I am always beneath you,

but nothing is beneath me!
_________________________________

TONY: As if things aren't
weird enough,
_________________________________

I look over and I see these boots.
_________________________________

MR. INCREDIBLE: You two, stay here.
_________________________________

ELASTIGIRL: Wait.
Should we be doing this?
_________________________________

It is still illegal.
_________________________________

TONY:
They looked like superheroes.
_________________________________

-We're gonna lose him.

-Oh, all right.
_________________________________

One of you patrol the perimeter,
_________________________________

keep the crowds back and safe.
_________________________________

The other,
watch after Jack-Jack.

_________________________________
But I thought we were gonna go with...
_________________________________

You heard your mother.

_________________________________
Trampoline me.
_________________________________
(ELASTIGIRL GRUNTS)
_________________________________
I call perimeter!
_________________________________

VIOLET: You're not
going anywhere,
_________________________________
you little maggoty creep!

_________________________________

TONY: I see my chance
to get out of there.
_________________________________

But there's something familiar

about one of the kids' voices.
_________________________________

-(VIOLET SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
-TONY: The girl, she's upset
_________________________________
and she throws down her mask...

_________________________________

and it's her!
_________________________________

VIOLET: Oh. Tony!
_________________________________

Hi.
_________________________________
VIOLET: Uh, this isn't
what you think it is.
_________________________________

TONY: It was just getting
too freaky.
_________________________________

I couldn't handle it and ran off.
_________________________________

I feel kinda bad about it.
_________________________________

Maybe I should've said
"hi" or something?
_________________________________

It's not her fault superheroes are illegal.
_________________________________

And it's not like I don't like strong girls.
_________________________________

I'm pretty secure manhood-wise.
_________________________________

What is that?
_________________________________

Have you told anyone else
about this? Your parents?

_________________________________

No, they'd only think

I was hiding something.

_________________________________
-You know what I mean?

-Sure, kid.
_________________________________

I like this girl, Mr. Dicker.
_________________________________

I'm supposed to go out
with her Friday night.
_________________________________

Now, things are just gonna be weird.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) I wish I could forget
I ever saw her in that suit.

_________________________________

You will, kid.
_________________________________

You will.
_________________________________

(MR. INCREDIBLE GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Come on!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING AND SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(COUGHS)
_________________________________

Consider yourselves undermined!
_________________________________
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
_________________________________
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(UNDERMINER CONTINUES
LAUGHING)
_________________________________
UNDERMINER: Ooh. (LAUGHS)

_________________________________
-Underminer! We meet again...

-Huh?
_________________________________
(MR. INCREDIBLE GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Oh, great!
Now, he's on the agenda.
_________________________________
(GROANING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
-(POUNDING)
-(GASPS)

_________________________________

-Incredible!
-(GROANS)
_________________________________

Meet Jack Hammer!
_________________________________

(BOTH GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Buh-bye! (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
(ALARMS BLARING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

No, no, no! No, no, no!
_________________________________
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Everybody, stay back!
Okay? Stay back!

_________________________________

You're not sticking me with babysitting!
_________________________________

I can't steer it or stop it.

And the Underminer's escaped!
_________________________________

We'll have to stop it...
Bob! The monorail!
_________________________________

Frozone! Yeah!
_________________________________

We have to stop this thing
_________________________________

before it gets to the overpass!
_________________________________

I'll try to keep it away from the buildings!
_________________________________
-(PEOPLE CONTINUE SCREAMING)
-(MR. INCREDIBLE GRUNTING)
_________________________________

-DASH: Hey, lady!
-(WOMAN YELPS)
_________________________________

-Thank you so much, young man!
-(JACK-JACK COOING)
_________________________________
-(JACK-JACK GIGGLING)
-What?
_________________________________

Violet!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING) Ahh!
_________________________________
(STRAINING)
_________________________________

-Stop!
-(BRAKES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

-Everybody, stop!
-(BRAKES SCREECHING)
_________________________________
(STRAINING)
_________________________________
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
_________________________________
(PANICKED CHATTER)
_________________________________
(PEOPLE GASP)
_________________________________
(STRAINING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(LAUGHS)

_________________________________
-DASH: Heads up, Dad!

-Dash!
_________________________________

Violet!
Who's watching Jack-Jack?
_________________________________

Dash is watching him!
_________________________________

-Violet, here, you take him!
-(JACK-JACK GIGGLES)
_________________________________

It's headed for City Hall!
_________________________________

-DASH: Mom needs help!
-(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
_________________________________

They're out in public again!
This is our chance!

_________________________________

Follow them, follow Frozone!
_________________________________
(STRAINING)
_________________________________

Bob!
Help me with the boiler!

_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

That should do it! (GASPS)
_________________________________

What are you kids doing?
Get out of here!
_________________________________
This thing's gonna blow!
_________________________________

There's no time!
_________________________________
(ALL GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(SIRENS WAILING)
_________________________________
(ALL LAUGHING)
_________________________________

We did it!
_________________________________
-(GUNS COCKING)

-OFFICER: Freeze, Supers!
_________________________________

Oh, what did we do?
_________________________________
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

TOMMY: Excuse me, Mr. Zone?
_________________________________

FROZONE: Sorry, but I'm not
really supposed to be here.
_________________________________

TOMMY: Which seems wrong...
_________________________________
doesn't it?
_________________________________

Perhaps you'd be interested in
changing that law?

_________________________________

Superheroes including Frozone,
_________________________________
Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl...

_________________________________

caused further damage to the city.
_________________________________
The Underminer remains at large.

_________________________________
We didn't start this fight.
_________________________________

Well, you didn't finish it either!

_________________________________
Did you stop the Underminer
from inflicting more damage?

_________________________________
No.

_________________________________
Did you stop him
from robbing the banks?
_________________________________
-No.

-Did you catch him?
_________________________________

-No.

-The banks were insured.
_________________________________
We have infrastructure in place

_________________________________

to deal with these matters.
_________________________________

If you had simply done nothing...
_________________________________

everything would now be
_________________________________

proceeding in an orderly fashion.
_________________________________

You'd have preferred we do nothing?
_________________________________

Without a doubt.
_________________________________

You weren't much help.
_________________________________

Do you want out of the hole?
_________________________________

First you gotta put down the shovel.
_________________________________

Well, that went poorly.
_________________________________

Dad, this is probably
_________________________________

not the best time to tell you about this...

_________________________________
but something else
happened today with a kid...
_________________________________
and my mask.
_________________________________
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

_________________________________

Oh, hey, Rick.
_________________________________
Violet thinks a friend
of hers, a kid named Tony...

_________________________________

might have seen her in the
outfit, without her mask.

_________________________________

-Talkative type?

-Don't know.
_________________________________
Last name is Rydinger.

_________________________________
Tony Rydinger.
_________________________________
I'll check it out.
_________________________________

Bob, Helen...
_________________________________
a word if you don't mind.
_________________________________

Uh, the program's been shut down.
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

Politicians don't understand people...
_________________________________
who do good simply because it's right.

_________________________________

It makes 'em nervous.
_________________________________

DICKER: They've been gunning

for Supers for years.
_________________________________

Today was all they needed.
_________________________________

Anyway...
_________________________________
I'm done.
_________________________________

I'm afraid two more weeks in the motel
_________________________________

is the best I can do for ya.
_________________________________

It ain't much.
_________________________________

You've done plenty, Rick.
_________________________________

We won't forget.
_________________________________

Well, it has been a great honor
_________________________________

working with you good people.
_________________________________

Thanks for everything,
and good luck.
_________________________________

Yeah. You, too.
_________________________________
(JACK-JACK COOING)

_________________________________

Did you wash your hands?
_________________________________

-(WATER RUNNING)
-With soap?
_________________________________

VIOLET: Did you dry them?
_________________________________

What? Is this all vegetables?

Who ordered all vegetables?
_________________________________

I did. They're good
and you're going to have some.
_________________________________
(GROANS)

_________________________________

Are we going to talk about it?
_________________________________

-What?

-The elephant in the room.

_________________________________
-What elephant?

-I guess not then.
_________________________________

You're referring to today?
_________________________________

Yeah, what's the deal with today?

_________________________________
We all make mistakes.
_________________________________

For example,
_________________________________
you kids were supposed
to watch Jack-Jack.

_________________________________

Babysitting, while you guys

did the important stuff.
_________________________________

We talked about this.
_________________________________

You're not old enough
to decide about these things.

_________________________________

-We are old enough to help out.

-Yeah!
_________________________________

Isn't that what you tell us,
Dad?
_________________________________

Yeah, well, "help out" can
mean many different things.

_________________________________

But we're supposed to help

if there's trouble.
_________________________________
-Well, yeah, but...

-Aren't you
_________________________________
-glad we helped today?

-Yeah, I know but...
_________________________________

You said that you were proud of us.
_________________________________

Well, yeah, I was. Am!
_________________________________

We wanna fight bad guys!
_________________________________

-(BABBLING)
-No, you don't!
_________________________________

You said things were different now.
_________________________________

And they were, on the island.
_________________________________

But I didn't mean that from now on...
_________________________________

So now, we've gotta go back to

never using our powers.

_________________________________
It defines who I am.
_________________________________

We're not saying you have...
_________________________________

-What?

-Someone on TV said it.
_________________________________

Can we just eat?
_________________________________
The dinner, while it's hot?

_________________________________

Did we do something wrong?

_________________________________
-Yes.
-BOB: No.
_________________________________

We didn't do anything wrong.
_________________________________

Superheroes are illegal.
_________________________________

Whether it's fair or not,
that's the law.
_________________________________

The law should be fair.

What are we teaching our kids?

_________________________________
To respect the law!
_________________________________

Even when the law is disrespectful?

_________________________________
If laws are unjust,
there are laws to change them!
_________________________________
Otherwise, it's chaos!

_________________________________

Which is exactly what we have!

_________________________________
I just thought it was kinda cool.
_________________________________

-What was?

-Fighting crime as a family.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) It was cool.
_________________________________

But it's over.
The world is what it is.

_________________________________

We have to adapt.
_________________________________

Are things bad?
_________________________________

Things are fine.
_________________________________

May I be excused?
_________________________________
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
_________________________________

How much longer in the motel, Dad?
_________________________________

-Uh...
-Not much longer, honey.

_________________________________
(LADDER CLANKING)
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________
Here we go.
_________________________________

I raided Gene's fridge.
_________________________________

Good news, he's got pie.
_________________________________

Took a bunch of his pillows
and junk too.
_________________________________
I'm thinking we make a fort
out here, or like a yurt.
_________________________________

Or we could take these pillows...
_________________________________
If we stack them right,
_________________________________
we can make an igloo out of pillows.
_________________________________

Like a pillow igloo.
Pigloo. Pigloo!
_________________________________

So what do you think, kid?
_________________________________
Fort, yurt, or the obvious
best choice, pigloo?
_________________________________

I can't believe I don't have
a game anymore.
_________________________________

I mean, like,
what am I gonna do all day?
_________________________________

What? Come on,
are you kidding?
_________________________________

You sleep in, you do no work,
_________________________________
then you go to Tapper's
with me every night.
_________________________________

I've literally just described paradise.
_________________________________

But I loved my game.
_________________________________

Oh, come on.
_________________________________
You were just bellyaching
about the tracks

_________________________________
being too easy.
_________________________________

No, that doesn't mean I didn't love it.
_________________________________

Yeah, sure,
it was kind of predictable...
_________________________________

but still I never really knew

what might happen in a race.
_________________________________

And it's that,
it's that feeling,
_________________________________
that not-knowing-what's-
coming-next feeling.
_________________________________

That's the stuff.
That feels like life to me.

_________________________________

And if I'm not a racer,
Ralph...

_________________________________
what am I?
_________________________________

Well, you're my best friend.
_________________________________

That's not enough.
_________________________________
Hey.
_________________________________

No, I just...
_________________________________

I'm sorry,
I know I'm being weird.
_________________________________

I think maybe I just need to
be alone right now.
_________________________________
Oh.
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

I'll meet you over at Tapper's

in a little while, I guess.
_________________________________
If you want.
_________________________________

FELIX: All right, now...
_________________________________
we found some good homes
_________________________________
for so many of our chums

from Sugar Rush...
_________________________________
and we're just hoping a few more of you
_________________________________

will open your doors...
_________________________________
and your hearts to those in need.
_________________________________

Well, I suppose that large green olive
_________________________________

will fit in nicely with my decor.
_________________________________

I'm a sour ball.
_________________________________

Well, beggars can't be
choosers, can they?

_________________________________

Come along, condiment.
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Mmm-kay.
_________________________________

Marvelous.
That just leaves the racers.
_________________________________

We're, like, adorable.
_________________________________

You sure are.
_________________________________

So, any takers?
_________________________________
(ALL HUMMING HESITATINGLY)
_________________________________
FELIX: Um...
_________________________________

Anyone?
_________________________________
(SNIFFLING)
_________________________________

Felix. I know
we've never once talked about
_________________________________
having a family before, but...
_________________________________

I know, it feels like the kind of thing
_________________________________
you just jump into with both feet...
_________________________________

and nary a plan.
_________________________________

Felix and I will give them sanctuary.
_________________________________
(SPITS)
_________________________________

Can I get a quick word with you two?
_________________________________
(SUGAR RUSH RACERS CHEERING)
_________________________________

Look, I get it.
_________________________________
You've been married six years,
_________________________________

you're looking to spice things up...

_________________________________

but trust me,
adopting 15 children
_________________________________

is the wrong kind of spice.
_________________________________

Those things are basically feral.
_________________________________

Pardon me, sir, but those
youngsters are lambs.
_________________________________

Lost little lambs in need of
two kind, caring shepherds.
_________________________________

That's right.
_________________________________

Besides,
how hard can parenting be?
_________________________________

You treat the child like your best friend...
_________________________________

you give them everything they want...
_________________________________

and you just love their little
socks off. Right, Tammy?
_________________________________
Darn tootin'.
_________________________________
-(GIRL SCREAMING)
-FELIX: (GASPS) Huh?
_________________________________
(FELIX GASPS)
_________________________________
RACER KID: Come and get it.
_________________________________
CANDLEHEAD: Get your own candle.
_________________________________

Hey, Mom,
why does your lame TV
_________________________________
only have one channel?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Well,
hate to say I told ya...
_________________________________
Ow!
_________________________________
(SURGE PROTECTOR GROANS)

_________________________________

To remember one of the Disney Princesses spending the holidays twenty years ago, go to: Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas - Subtitles (en)

For Olaf's Frozen Adventure, go to: Olaf's Frozen Adventure - Subtitles (en)

________
Imagining in November 2017

_________________________________

_________________________________

Surprise!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Not yet, Olaf.
_________________________________

-Surprise!

-(WOMEN GASP)
_________________________________

WOMEN: Not yet, Olaf.
_________________________________

-Surprise!

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Not yet, Olaf.

_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

Hello!
_________________________________

-Surprise!

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Olaf! Not yet!
_________________________________
ELSA: Anna's right.

_________________________________

Our surprise holiday party
doesn't start
_________________________________

until after
the Yule bell rings.
_________________________________

Sorry, the suspense
is tearing me apart.
_________________________________

Thank you!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
I'm excited too, Olaf.
_________________________________

This is Arendelle's

first Christmas in forever.
_________________________________

The first of many to come.
_________________________________

Elsa, look!
They're arriving!
_________________________________

(SINGING)
Look at everyone
_________________________________

They don't realize

_________________________________
(GASPS) What?
_________________________________

We planned a party
As a big surprise
_________________________________

Soon the ballroom will echo

With sounds of cheer
_________________________________

As we ring in
The season this year
_________________________________

This is overdue
_________________________________

Gotta look our best

_________________________________
Ooh!
_________________________________

I've never been
So nicely dressed
_________________________________

We'll be hosting
And toasting
_________________________________

The whole night through
_________________________________

As we ring in
The season with you
_________________________________

It's the first Christmas
In forever
_________________________________

Since we opened up
The gate
_________________________________

And it's the first Christmas 
I remember to date
_________________________________

And it's already
Worth the wait
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________

-Look at all the joy

-All the joy
_________________________________

-And it's everywhere

-Everywhere
_________________________________

I feel the Christmas spirit
In the air
_________________________________

Feel the spirit
_________________________________

And the party will start 
At the strike of noon

_________________________________

And we'll ring
In the season so soon
_________________________________
OLAF: Hey!
It's Kristoff and Sven!

_________________________________

(GASPS) And the Yule bell!
_________________________________

Why am I so excited
about that?
_________________________________

Olaf, the Yule bell signals
_________________________________

the start of the holidays
in Arendelle.

_________________________________

Ooh!
_________________________________

And it's almost time
To ring the bell
_________________________________

We'll hear it chime
Through Arendelle
_________________________________

It's finally here
And it's happening fast
_________________________________

We'll make up for all
We have missed in the past

_________________________________

It's time to celebrate
_________________________________

As we ring in the season
_________________________________

At last
_________________________________

(TOLLING)
_________________________________

Let the holidays begin!
_________________________________

(CHEERING)
_________________________________

Okay, now!
_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES) Surprise!

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

-OLAF: Uh-oh.

-Wait, wait, wait.
_________________________________
Hold on, hold on.
Going so soon?
_________________________________

The Yule bell rang.
_________________________________

I must get home

for my family's holiday tradition,
_________________________________

-rolling the lefse.

-Um...
_________________________________

Ours is putting out porridge

for the Tomte.
_________________________________

BOTH: We're making traditional

bordstabelbakkels!
_________________________________

And I'm gonna filet

the krumsakringlekakke!
_________________________________

That's a thing, right?
_________________________________

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Olsen?
_________________________________

You're welcome to join us

in the castle if you'd like.
_________________________________

Thank you, Your Majesty.
_________________________________

But Olga and I should be
getting home
_________________________________

to knit socks
for our grandchildren.
_________________________________

It's our tradition.
_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Yes.

And we wouldn't want to intrude
_________________________________

on your family traditions.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Oh, so the surprise
is everyone left.

_________________________________

Hey, I say it's their loss.
_________________________________

-Who needs a big party anyway?

-Kristoff?
_________________________________

I've got just the thing to cheer you up.
_________________________________

My favorite traditional
troll tradition.
_________________________________

-Care to join in?

-Uh, yeah!
_________________________________

Okay, it starts
with a gathering song,
_________________________________

The Ballad of Flemmingrad.
_________________________________

I love ballads!
_________________________________

(SINGING) Every December 
we all gather round
_________________________________

To pay our respects 
To a troll so renowned

_________________________________

In remembrance
Of the friend we had
_________________________________

A jolly old soul
We called Flemmingrad
_________________________________

Tempo!
_________________________________
We all dig deep down 
And we uproot the past

_________________________________

We shove up its nostrils 
A fistful of grass

_________________________________

Nostrils?
_________________________________

We shape his likeness 
Bless his soul

_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

Whoa, gross.
_________________________________

Oh Flemmy 
The fungus troll

_________________________________

Now, you lick his forehead

and make a wish.
_________________________________

(LICKS) Who's next?
_________________________________

-Elsa, you're up.

-(GAGS)
_________________________________

Come on.
Tastes like lichen.
_________________________________

You're a princess.

You don't have to settle.
_________________________________

Okay. Not so much
a royal activity. I get it.

_________________________________

But wait until you taste

my traditional Flemmy stew.
_________________________________

It may smell like wet fur,

but it's a real crowd pleaser.
_________________________________

Oh, thanks. We're good.
_________________________________

Big breakfast. (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

(OLAF EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) I can't wait!
_________________________________
ELSA: For what, Olaf?

_________________________________

For your family tradition.
What is it?
_________________________________

Tell me, tell me, tell me!
_________________________________

Do we have any traditions, Elsa?
_________________________________

Do you remember?
_________________________________

Well, I remember...
_________________________________

(SINGING)
It was long ago
_________________________________

They would ring the bell
_________________________________

We could hear it chime
Through Arendelle
_________________________________

I remember the way
That I felt back then
_________________________________

We would ring
In the season
_________________________________

We would ring
In the season
_________________________________

But the Yule bell
was for the kingdom.
_________________________________

What about us?
_________________________________

After the gates were closed,

we were never together.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Elsa?
_________________________________
ELSA: I'm sorry, Anna.

_________________________________

It's my fault we don't have

a family tradition.
_________________________________

Wait, Elsa...
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(OLAF WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________

Sven! Anna and Elsa

don't have a family tradition.
_________________________________

(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

I know it's sad,
_________________________________

but I have a solution!
_________________________________

We'll go and find the best tradition
_________________________________

Anna and Elsa have ever seen
_________________________________

and bring it back to the castle!
_________________________________

Are you with me?
_________________________________

Ow!

_________________________________

Let's go find their tradition!

_________________________________

House number one.
_________________________________

Wow, festive.
_________________________________

WOMAN: Coming!
_________________________________

Good afternoon. I am Olaf, and...

_________________________________

Hey, Olaf!
_________________________________

Please let me finish,

and I like warm hugs.
_________________________________

This is my associate, Sven.
_________________________________

We're going door to door

looking for family traditions.
_________________________________

Tell us yours,

and we'll decide if it's special enough.
_________________________________

Oh! We make candy canes together.
_________________________________

Ooh!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
Sugar rush!
_________________________________

You're supposed to eat it.
_________________________________

Eat my new nose? Why would I do that?
_________________________________

Because it's that time of year!
_________________________________

Hmm.
_________________________________
It's that time of year!
(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

(SINGING) Happy, merry, holly, jolly

Season's greetings here

_________________________________
I'm wondering
What your family does

_________________________________
At that time of year

_________________________________
Love and joy
And peace on earth
_________________________________

And tidings of good cheer
_________________________________

Do you
Have tradition things
_________________________________

For that time of year?
_________________________________

Well, we hang up
Boughs of evergreen
_________________________________

On every single doorway
_________________________________

Bake a giant cookie

In the wavy shape of Norway

_________________________________
Go from door to door to door

Wassailing with our choir
_________________________________

Hang up all your giant socks

Above an open fire
_________________________________

That sounds safe.
_________________________________

So happy, merry,
Yuletide carol
_________________________________

Faithful friends are deer
_________________________________

Thanks for sharing
What you do
_________________________________

At that time of year

_________________________________

(GASPS) We better get a move on
_________________________________

if we're gonna hit

every house in the kingdom.
_________________________________

(NEIGHS)
_________________________________

Jolly, merry, happy, holly

On a midnight clear

_________________________________
I'm here to ask you
What you do
_________________________________

At that time of year
_________________________________

Hi, shalom, happy solstice

Fancy chandelier
_________________________________

I'm looking
For tradition stuff

_________________________________
For that time of year

_________________________________
Well, we make
Our decorations

_________________________________
Out of flotsam and jetsam
_________________________________

Bake a yummy fruitcake
_________________________________

And you can't leave
Till you get some
_________________________________

That went right through me.
_________________________________

Buy each other presents
_________________________________

And then hide them
Very nimbly
_________________________________

Wait up for a chubby man

To shimmy down your chimney

_________________________________
Breaking and entering,

okay on Christmas.
_________________________________

Oh, happy,
Merry mule-tied barrels
_________________________________

Faithful, gladsome cheer
_________________________________

And thanks for sharing
What you do
_________________________________

At that time of year
_________________________________

Thank you.
_________________________________

We knit scarves
And sweaters
_________________________________

And we wear
Our matching mittens
_________________________________

Don't forget
The jammies
_________________________________

That I knitted
For my kittens
_________________________________

Eight nights in a row
_________________________________

We light menorahs
On our mantels
_________________________________

You cut down a tree
_________________________________

and then you dress
its corpse with candles.

_________________________________

(KIDS WHIMPER)
_________________________________

I love it!
_________________________________

Anna and Elsa
_________________________________

Will have all that
They need
_________________________________

I'll fill my sleigh here
_________________________________

With the help of my steed
_________________________________

It'll be the best
Time of year
_________________________________

It's up to you
_________________________________

Up to me

Me, me
_________________________________

Up to...
_________________________________

Mew
_________________________________

Oh, happy, merry,
Mele Kaliki
_________________________________

Holly, jolly, happy tappy
_________________________________

Chubby man
Will soon appear

_________________________________
And faithful friends
Are tiny deer

_________________________________
And festive tidings
Midnight clear, and...

_________________________________
Can I leave
this fruitcake here?
_________________________________

At that time of year
_________________________________

(MEWS)

_________________________________

Last house, Sven.
_________________________________

Something tells me this will

be the best tradition yet!
_________________________________

Yoo-hoo.
_________________________________

Hello.
_________________________________

And what does your family do

at that time of year?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Oh!
_________________________________

(MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

Enjoying the Christmas sweats,

inquisitive magic snowman?
_________________________________

Oh, yeah!
_________________________________

Nothin' like taking your coals off

once in a while.
_________________________________
You know what I mean?
_________________________________

My troubles are just melting away.
_________________________________

In retrospect, the holiday sweats
_________________________________
are for those not made of snow.
_________________________________

(SPLUTTERS)
_________________________________

Oh, I feel so refreshed! Am I glowing?
_________________________________

(GRUNTS) Here's a sauna
for your friends.

_________________________________

Thank you, Mr. Wandering Oaken.
_________________________________

Oh, one last thing.
_________________________________

Would it be possible to get

one of those
_________________________________
awkwardly revealing,
_________________________________

yet tastefully traditional towels
_________________________________

your family is so fond of wearing?
_________________________________

Take mine, yeah?
_________________________________

(DOOR CLOSES)
_________________________________
OLAF: Still warm.

_________________________________

(SINGING)
Dashing through the snow
_________________________________

With traditions
In our sleigh
_________________________________

Back to the castle we go

To save this holiday
_________________________________

Ho, ho, ho
_________________________________

Our plan has zero flaws

I see nothing going wrong
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

Whew! Crisis averted.
_________________________________

(WHISTLING)
_________________________________

Oh, look, another reindeer

going the opposite direction.
_________________________________

Hi!
_________________________________
(NEIGHS)
_________________________________
(MOOS)
_________________________________
(GROANS)
_________________________________
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

Wow, we're making
really good time!
_________________________________
OLAF: Whoa!
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

-(THUD)
-Hey! The fire's out.
_________________________________

(EXPLODES)
_________________________________

Oh, darn it.

_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
_________________________________

Anna, I owe you
an apology for earlier.
_________________________________

Anna?
_________________________________

(CLATTERS)

_________________________________

-(GASPS)

-Hi, Elsa!
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Anna!

What are you doing up here?
_________________________________

Looking for traditions.
_________________________________

Ooh! (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

And what are you wearing?
_________________________________

My old Viking helmet,
_________________________________

and this was my sorceress cloak.
_________________________________

Dragon feet!
_________________________________

-(MIMICS GROWLING)

-(LAUGHS)
_________________________________

I found them in my old trunk.

What's in yours?
_________________________________

Oh, mostly gloves.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Right.
Rows and rows of satin gloves.
_________________________________

Oh. (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Yep. Welcome to my world.
_________________________________

Wait. Who's this little guy?
_________________________________

Oh! Sir Jorgenbjorgen!
_________________________________

He was a really good listener.
_________________________________

Anna, how are we going to find
any traditions up here?

_________________________________

(BELL JINGLES SOFTLY)
_________________________________

Unless...
_________________________________

What's that?
_________________________________

Look inside.
_________________________________

(GASPS)

_________________________________
OLAF: Okay, Sven,

_________________________________

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.

This is a bit of a setback.
_________________________________

Ooh! Maybe this is salvageable.
_________________________________

No, definitely not.
_________________________________

Oh, parts of this
are still good, I think.
_________________________________

Oh, no, this is unsafe now.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Hey, the fruitcake!
_________________________________

These things are indestructible!
_________________________________

I'll just take this seemingly

harmless shortcut here
_________________________________

and meet you back at the castle, okay?
_________________________________

(WOLVES HOWLING)
_________________________________
OLAF: Oh, puppies!

_________________________________

-(WOLVES GROWLING)

-Down, boy.
_________________________________

Ah! I'm just gonna go now!
_________________________________

(OLAF SCREAMING)

_________________________________

Hey!
_________________________________

MAN: Whoa!

WOMAN: No!
_________________________________

Oh, Sven!
The Flemmy stew is ready!
_________________________________

Anna and Elsa are gonna love this.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

"Oh, Kristoff, you're so thoughtful.
_________________________________

"Now where's my bowl?"
_________________________________

Hey, simmer down, buddy.
_________________________________
Here you go.
_________________________________

Whoa, what are you...
_________________________________

Oh! Of course!
_________________________________

"Needs more carrots!"
_________________________________

Can't get enough of 'em, can ya?
_________________________________

(MIMICS OLAF'S CHUCKLE)
_________________________________

(MIMICS WOLF HOWLING)
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________
(MIMICS OLAF SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Uh...
_________________________________

Oh, no! Olaf's lost in the forest?
_________________________________

And being chased by hungry wolves?
_________________________________

Yeah. Obviously.
_________________________________

Ring the bell. Gather everyone!
_________________________________

Come on, Sven!
Make yourself useful.
_________________________________

-Olaf needs our help.

-(BELL RINGING)

_________________________________

-(WOLVES HOWLING)

-(PANTING)
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

Please, I know you're hungry
_________________________________

but I need at least one tradition
_________________________________

for my best friends.
_________________________________

The fate of the world depends on it!
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

-(SIGHS AND GASPS)
-(WOLVES WHINING)
_________________________________

(GASPS) Yes! Yes, I did it!
_________________________________

A tradition is saved!
_________________________________

(HAWK SHRIEKS)
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Well, I guess hawks need
traditions too.
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(SINGING)
Happy, merry, holly, jolly
_________________________________

Tidings of good cheer
_________________________________

(SNIFFLES)
_________________________________

I never meant
To let them down

_________________________________
At that time of year

_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Maybe I should just stay lost.
_________________________________

(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

(WIND HOWLING)
_________________________________
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
_________________________________

(INAUDIBLE)

_________________________________

TEENAGER: Olaf!
_________________________________

MAN: Olaf, where are you?
_________________________________

KID: Come out, come out,

wherever you are!
_________________________________

Any sign of him?
_________________________________

-No.
-(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Olaf?

_________________________________

Olaf?
_________________________________

Olaf? Where are you?
_________________________________
OLAF: He's not here.

_________________________________

(ANNA GASPS)
_________________________________

Oh.
_________________________________

Hmm. I wonder where he went.
_________________________________
OLAF: Well, he probably

went on a mission
_________________________________

to find traditions
for Anna and Elsa.
_________________________________

Oh. And did he find any?
_________________________________
OLAF: He did,

_________________________________

but then they caught fire

and fell off a cliff.
_________________________________

And then they caught fire again.
_________________________________

And then a hawk took them.

_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

I'm sorry.
_________________________________

You still don't have a tradition.
_________________________________

But we do, Olaf.
_________________________________

Look.
_________________________________

(GASPS) Wait,
_________________________________

is that...
_________________________________
ELSA: Anna made these years ago.

_________________________________

When we first made you.
_________________________________

"Hi, I'm Olaf."
_________________________________

You were the one

who brought us together...
_________________________________

and kept us connected

when we were apart.
_________________________________
ANNA: Every Christmas...

_________________________________

(KNOCK ON DOOR)
_________________________________

I made Elsa a gift.
_________________________________
ELSA: All those long years alone...

_________________________________

(KNOCK ON DOOR)
_________________________________

we had you to remind us

of our childhood.
_________________________________
ANNA: Of how much

we still loved each other.

_________________________________
ELSA: It's you, Olaf.
_________________________________

You are our tradition.
_________________________________

Me?
_________________________________

Surprise!
_________________________________

Aw!

_________________________________

(SINGING)
Sure, it's nice to open a gift
_________________________________

That's tied up
With a perfect bow
_________________________________

But the greatest
Present of all
_________________________________

Was given to me long ago

_________________________________
It's something
I would never trade

_________________________________
Olaf!
_________________________________

It's the family
That we've made
_________________________________

We were worried
about you!
_________________________________

'Cause when
We're together
_________________________________

I have everything
On my list
_________________________________

And when we're together
_________________________________

I have all I wished
_________________________________

All around
The Christmas tree
_________________________________

There'll be dreams
Coming true

_________________________________
But when we're together

_________________________________
Then my favorite gift
Is you

_________________________________
(GIGGLING)
_________________________________

I would travel
Miles and miles

_________________________________
And I would follow
Any star

_________________________________
I'd go almost any place

_________________________________
If it's any place
You are

_________________________________
'Cause when
We're together

_________________________________
When we're together

_________________________________
I'll forever
Feel at home

_________________________________
And when we're together

_________________________________
When we're together

_________________________________
We'll be safe and warm

_________________________________
Safe and warm

_________________________________
Doesn't matter where we are
If you're there with me

_________________________________
'Cause when we're together

_________________________________
That's my favorite
Place to be

_________________________________
'Cause when
We're together

_________________________________
It's a holiday
Every night
_________________________________

And when we're together

_________________________________
-Then the season's bright

-Season's bright
_________________________________

I don't need
The bells to ring
_________________________________

I don't need the bells

_________________________________
I'll know when it's here
_________________________________

I'll know when it's here
_________________________________

'Cause when
We're together
_________________________________

I could stay forever
_________________________________

And when we're together

_________________________________
It's my favorite

_________________________________
Time of year
_________________________________

Well, I think Arendelle

has a new tradition.
_________________________________

Thank you, Olaf.
_________________________________

-(HAWK SHRIEKS)

-Ooh!
_________________________________
OLAF: (GASPS) The fruitcake!

_________________________________

It's a Christmas miracle!

_________________________________

(JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING)

_________________________________

_________________________________