Sunday, February 16, 2020

Disney NeverEnding Chronicles (Summer 2017 Part 2) - Subtitles (en)

_________________________________
_________________________________
July 2017
_________________________________
_________________________________
On a scale of one to ten,
_________________________________
 I give this day an F.
_________________________________
Well, why don't we quit standing
around and do something?
_________________________________
Like what, genius?
_________________________________
Like quitting. That's what I'm doing.
_________________________________
Sure it's the coward's way out.
_________________________________
But this coward's gonna survive.
_________________________________
Ow!
_________________________________
(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________
DISGUST: Emotions can't quit, genius!
_________________________________
Ugh! I thought we were supposed to
be keeping Riley happy.
_________________________________
♪ First you find a can from a rusty van
_________________________________
♪ Bump-bump
_________________________________
♪ Quicker than a dart, make it into art
_________________________________
♪ Bump-bump
_________________________________
♪ That's the way it's done,
it's a lot of fun
_________________________________
♪ Bump-bump
_________________________________
♪ Liftin' my funk,
makin' sculpture outta junk ♪
_________________________________
-(CHUCKLES)
-(DEVICE BEEPING)
_________________________________
What's that? (SCOFFS) There we go!
_________________________________
Somebody's interrupting genius!
_________________________________
-(GASPS) Well, hey, there, buddy!
-(CHUCKLES) Mater!
_________________________________
You know, I was just thinking of you
_________________________________
and here you are lookin' right at me!
_________________________________
You see me okay? Hang on a second
there. Hold on. Let me see here.
_________________________________
-That better?
-(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
Looking you straight
in the eye there, pal.
_________________________________
Hey, sorry about calling so late.
_________________________________
Shoot, not for me it's not.
_________________________________
I'm always burning that midnight oil.
_________________________________
So get me caught up on everything.
_________________________________
Well, actually kind of hoping
_________________________________
I might hear what's going on back home.
_________________________________
Not much. If you don't
count Sarge and Fillmore
_________________________________
tryin' to run the tire shop.
_________________________________
But tell Luigi not to worry,
Sarge is gonna track down...
_________________________________
every last tire
that Fillmore done gived away.
_________________________________
Other than that, everything's good.
_________________________________
-How's Sally?
-Oh, she's fine.
_________________________________
Keeping busy at the Cone.
She misses you.
_________________________________
Well, shoot! We all do
when you're on the road.
_________________________________
Yeah. You know, I've been
kind of thinking about that.
_________________________________
You know, what we should do
_________________________________
when I'm not on the road anymore.
_________________________________
What do you mean not on the road?
_________________________________
Well, you know.
_________________________________
Mater, I can't do this forever.
_________________________________
Huh?
_________________________________
I'm just not getting anywhere
with the training.
_________________________________
If anything,
I've gotten slower not faster.
_________________________________
Shoot, buddy, it'll work out.
_________________________________
Just tell me what the problem is...
_________________________________
and I'll stay right here
with you until we fix it.
_________________________________
That's just it, Mater. I don't know.
_________________________________
And I feel like I'm all out of ideas.
_________________________________
Hmm.
_________________________________
All right, let me think.
Oh! You know what I'd do?
_________________________________
What?
_________________________________
I don't know. I got nothin'.
_________________________________
I guess I ain't Doc when it comes to that.
_________________________________
I would give anything
to talk to him right now.
_________________________________
Yep, there was nobody
smarter than old Doc.
_________________________________
Well, except for maybe
whoever taught him.
_________________________________
Yeah. Wait. What?
_________________________________
Everybody was taught
by somebody, right?
_________________________________
Take my cousin Doyle.
_________________________________
He taught me how to sing
and whistle at the same time.
_________________________________
He was very musical that way.
_________________________________
Smokey. Mater, you're brilliant.
_________________________________
Ah, well... It's all about
the shape of your teeth.
_________________________________
I got to go to Thomasville.
_________________________________
MATER: Oh, well, good.
_________________________________
You know me, buddy,
I'm always happy to help.
_________________________________
Think I am better at that than most folks.
You know, talkin' and stuff.
_________________________________
_________________________________
July–August 2017
_________________________________
_________________________________
MAN ON TV: (FRENCH ACCENT)
Although each of the world's countries
_________________________________
would like to dispute this fact,
_________________________________
we French know the truth:
_________________________________
The best food in the world
is made in France.
_________________________________
The best food in France
is made in Paris.
_________________________________
And the best food in Paris, some say,
is made by Chef Auguste Gusteau.
_________________________________
Gusteau's restaurant
is the toast of Paris,
_________________________________
booked five months in advance.
_________________________________
And his dazzling ascent
to the top of fine French cuisine
_________________________________
has made his competitors envious.
_________________________________
He is the youngest chef ever
to achieve a five-star rating.
_________________________________
Chef Gusteau's cookbook,
Anyone Can Cook!
_________________________________
climbed to the top of the bestseller list.
_________________________________
But not everyone
celebrates its success.
_________________________________
Amusing title, Anyone Can Cook!
_________________________________
What's even more amusing is that
Gusteau actually seems to believe it.
_________________________________
I, on the other hand,
take cooking seriously.
_________________________________
And, no, I don't think anyone can do it.
_________________________________
_________________________________
(LOW, PULSATING RUMBLE)
_________________________________
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
_________________________________
(TRIUMPHANT THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________
(ORCHESTRA CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________
(PERCUSSION BOOMING)
_________________________________
We come in peace
for cats and mice everywhere.
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(GLASS BREAKS, AIR HISSING)
_________________________________
(POPPING)
_________________________________
(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING)
_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.
Thanks for coming out.
_________________________________
(PRESIDENTIAL SONG PLAYING)
_________________________________
SCRATCHY: Itchy... Itchy...
_________________________________
(AIR HORN BLASTS)
_________________________________
(QUIET, OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
GROWS LOUDER)
_________________________________
(SNAPS FINGERS)
_________________________________
(CLICK)
_________________________________
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
_________________________________
(MUSIC CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________
(LOUD BUZZING)
_________________________________
(MISSILES RUMBLING)
_________________________________
(MISSILES WHIZZING
THROUGH AIR)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(MISSILE WHIZZING)
_________________________________
(MECHANICAL RATCHETING)
_________________________________
(METALLIC CLUNK)
_________________________________
(LOUD EXPLOSION)
_________________________________
Boring!
_________________________________
LISA: Dad, we can't see the movie!
_________________________________
I can't believe we're paying to see
something we get on TV for free.
_________________________________
If you ask me, everybody
in this theater is a giant sucker,
_________________________________
especially you!
_________________________________
(CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________
PROFESSOR FRINK:
Movie on the big screen!
_________________________________
(THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________
(CREAKING, THUD)
_________________________________
(PEN SQUEAKS)
_________________________________
(MARTIN HOWLING)
_________________________________
(ROCK BAND JOINS IN
ON THE SIMPSONS THEME)
_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Excuse me, my heinie is dipping.
_________________________________
-(OTHERS GROAN IN DISGUST)
-(LOUD THUD, GRUNT)
_________________________________
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
_________________________________
♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________
♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________
(TO THE SIMPSONS THEME)
♪ Da, da, da, da-da, da, da
_________________________________
♪ Da, da-da-da-da
_________________________________
CROWD: ♪ Da-da-da-da-da
♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
_________________________________
(SONG ENDS, CHEERING)
_________________________________
All right, well,
thanks a lot for coming.
_________________________________
We've been playing
for three and a half hours.
_________________________________
Now we'd like just a minute of your time
_________________________________
to say something
about the environment!
_________________________________
-(CROWD QUIETS)
-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
_________________________________
(LOUD BOOING)
_________________________________
MAN 1: You suck!
MAN 2: Shut up and play!
_________________________________
-Preachy!
-We're not being preachy.
_________________________________
But the pollution in your lake,
it's dissolving our barge!
_________________________________
(CROWD BOOING)
_________________________________
I thought they touched on a vital issue.
_________________________________
I beg to differ.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(SCREECHY GASP)
_________________________________
Gentlemen, it's been an honor
playing with you tonight.
_________________________________
(PLAYING
"NEARER MY GOD TO THEE")
_________________________________
(ORGAN PLAYING)
_________________________________
For the latest rock band
to die in our town,
_________________________________
Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________
CONGREGATION:
Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________
(CAR SCREECHES TO A HALT)
_________________________________
MARGE: I hate being late.
HOMER: Well, I hate going.
_________________________________
Why can't I worship the Lord
in my own way...
_________________________________
by praying like hell on my deathbed?
_________________________________
MARGE: Homer,
they can hear you inside.
_________________________________
HOMER: Relax. Those pious morons
_________________________________
are too busy talking
to their phony-baloney God.
_________________________________
(QUIETLY) How you doing?
Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.
_________________________________
(GRAMPA SNORING)
_________________________________
(ORGAN PLAYING QUIETLY)
_________________________________
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
_________________________________
-(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)
-(BABIES SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS STOP)
_________________________________
Now, today I'd like to try
something a little different.
_________________________________
I'm going to call on one of you!
_________________________________
(MAN YELPS)
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES) Now, the word
of God dwells within everyone.
_________________________________
I want you to let that word out.
_________________________________
-Let your spirit...
-FLANDERS: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
_________________________________
(FRUSTRATED SIGH) What is it, Ned?
_________________________________
The good Lord is telling me
to confess to something.
_________________________________
(QUIETLY)
Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
_________________________________
An immodest sense of pride
in our community!
_________________________________
Somebody else?
_________________________________
Let the Lord's light shine upon you.
_________________________________
-(HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGING)
-(SNORING)
_________________________________
Feel the spirit.
_________________________________
Let it out!
_________________________________
Horrible, horrible things
are going to happen!
_________________________________
And they're gonna happen to you
and you and you!
_________________________________
-And you!
-(GASPS)
_________________________________
Whoa, Nelly.
_________________________________
(GOOFY GASPING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(BEEP)
_________________________________
People of Springfield, heed this warning!
_________________________________
Twisted tail!
_________________________________
A thousand eyes!
_________________________________
Trapped forever!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING LIKE THREE STOOGES)
_________________________________
Dad, do something!
_________________________________
This book doesn't have any answers!
_________________________________
Beware, beware! Time is short!
_________________________________
EPA! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________
(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________
Believe me! Believe me!
_________________________________
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________
(CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________
Thanks for listening.
_________________________________
Okay, who wants waffles?
_________________________________
ALL: I do! I do! I do!
_________________________________
Wait a minute. What about Grandpa?
_________________________________
-I want syrup.
-I want strawberries!
_________________________________
Something happened to that man.
_________________________________
I'll tell you what happened to him. A
certain someone had a senior moment.
_________________________________
But that's okay, because we love him
and we got a free rug out of it.
_________________________________
What is the point of
going to church every Sunday
_________________________________
when if someone we love has a
genuine religious experience,
_________________________________
we ignore it? Right, Grandpa?
_________________________________
I want bananas on my waffles!
_________________________________
I rest my case.
_________________________________
I'm not dropping this.
_________________________________
Wait a minute! I'm still in the car.
_________________________________
Oh, right.
_________________________________
Hmm...
_________________________________
"Take out hornets' nest."
_________________________________
(HORNETS BUZZING)
_________________________________
(FRENZIED BUZZING)
_________________________________
Check. "Fix sinkhole."
_________________________________
(QUIET SUCKING)
_________________________________
(SUCKING CONTINUES)
_________________________________
-(PLOP)
-(SUCKING STOPS)
_________________________________
Check.
_________________________________
"Reshingle roof"?
_________________________________
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________
Steady...
_________________________________
Steady...
_________________________________
-(LOUD SQUISH)
-Ow-how-how!
_________________________________
-Ow-how-how!
-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(YELLS) Why, you little...
_________________________________
I'll teach you to laugh
at something that's funny!
_________________________________
(EXHALES) You know, we are on
the roof. We could have some fun.
_________________________________
What kind of fun?
_________________________________
How about a dare contest?
_________________________________
That sounds fun. I dare you to...
_________________________________
climb the TV antenna.
_________________________________
Piece of cake.
_________________________________
-Earthquake!
-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(LAUGHING AND GASPS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Aftershock!
_________________________________
-(PLAYFUL GRUNTING)
-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
FLANDERS: Homer, I don't mean to
be a nervous Pervis or anything,
_________________________________
but if he falls, couldn't that
make your boy a parapleg-erino?
_________________________________
Shut up, Flanders.
_________________________________
-Yeah, shut up, Flanders.
-Well said, boy.
_________________________________
BOTH: Yeah!
_________________________________
Steady... Steady...
_________________________________
Steady...
_________________________________
HOMER: Ah!
_________________________________
-(THUDS)
-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
LISA: Hello. Sorry to bother you
on a Sunday,
_________________________________
but I'm sure you're as worried about
the pollution
_________________________________
-in Lake Springfield as I am.
-(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________
(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
LISA: Lake Springfield has
higher levels of mercury than even...
_________________________________
(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________
SWEET OLD LADY: Why, it's
the little girl who saved my cat.
_________________________________
LISA: Lake Springfield is...
_________________________________
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-(SIGHS)
_________________________________
(DOORS SLAMMING)
_________________________________
(DOG YELPS)
_________________________________
(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________
-(BELL RINGS)
-(SHIP'S HORN BLOWS)
_________________________________
(GROANS) Oh...
_________________________________
-(DOOR CREAKS)
-Come on over, Lisa.
_________________________________
You can canvass me
as long as you want.
_________________________________
Milhouse, you don't care
about the environment.
_________________________________
Hey! I am very passionate
about the planet!
_________________________________
Say global warming is a myth!
_________________________________
It's a myth! Further study is needed!
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
That's for selling out your beliefs!
_________________________________
Oh, poor Milhouse.
_________________________________
-Dream coming true.
-(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
COLIN: Are you aware that
a leaky faucet can waste over...
_________________________________
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-2,000 gallons a year.
_________________________________
-And turning off your lights can save...
-Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
_________________________________
And if we just kept our
thermostats at 68 in winter...
_________________________________
We'd be free from our dependency
on foreign oil in 17 years!
_________________________________
-I'm Colin.
-(GASPS SOFTLY)
_________________________________
I haven't seen you at school.
_________________________________
Just moved from Ireland.
My dad's a musician.
_________________________________
-Is he...
-He's not Bono.
_________________________________
I just thought because you're
Irish and you care about...
_________________________________
He's not Bono.
_________________________________
Do you play?
_________________________________
Just piano, guitar,
trumpet, drums and bass.
_________________________________
LISA: (THINKING) He's pure gold!
For once in your life, be cool.
_________________________________
So is your name as pretty as your face?
_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
(SCREECHES) Ha! Ha!
_________________________________
You okay there?
_________________________________
(LISA GAGGING)
_________________________________
(CHOKING AND GIGGLING)
_________________________________
Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!
Trapped forever! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________
"EPA." What could that be?
_________________________________
I believe it's the sound
the Green Lantern made
_________________________________
when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.
_________________________________
Epa!
_________________________________
Yeah. Uh, thanks for coming over.
_________________________________
Thanks for giving me
your pregnancy pants.
_________________________________
I've never known comfort like this.
_________________________________
(ELASTIC SLAPS)
_________________________________
-(BB'S PINGING)
-(HOMER GRUNTING)
_________________________________
D'oh! Oh, why did I... Oh! Suggest this?
_________________________________
(SHRIEKING) Oh! Aah!
Ow! Ee! Aah! Aah!
_________________________________
(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)
_________________________________
(TIMER DINGS)
_________________________________
All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare.
_________________________________
I dare you to skateboard
to Krusty Burger and back...
_________________________________
naked.
_________________________________
-How naked?
-Fourth base.
_________________________________
But girls might see my doodle.
_________________________________
(MOCKING) Oh, I see. Then
I hereby declare you "chicken for life."
_________________________________
Every morning, you'll wake up to
"Good morning, chicken."
_________________________________
At your wedding, I'll sing...
_________________________________
(CLUCKING WEDDING SONG)
_________________________________
(SURPRISED CLUCK)
_________________________________
(SURF ROCK PLAYING)
_________________________________
(PEOPLE GASP)
_________________________________
I like men now.
_________________________________
Don't look where I'm pointing!
_________________________________
(SIREN WAILING)
_________________________________
WIGGUM: Stop in the name of
American squeamishness!
_________________________________
-(TIRES SCREECH)
-(DRIVERS GASPING)
_________________________________
Boys, before we eat, don't forget
to thank the Lord for this bountiful...
_________________________________
Penis!
_________________________________
BOTH: Bountiful penis.
_________________________________
Amen.
_________________________________
(GLASS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________
Listen, kid, nobody
likes wearing clothes in public,
_________________________________
but, you know, it-it's the law.
_________________________________
Lunchtime!
_________________________________
You can't just leave me out here.
_________________________________
Don't worry. We found
a friend for you to play with.
_________________________________
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________
(HOARSELY) Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha...
_________________________________
Nelson, honey, where have you been?
_________________________________
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________
_________________________________
BUCK: Mmm...
_________________________________
Okay, mammals.
Let's stop here for the night.
_________________________________
Stop? What about the whole
_________________________________
end of the world collision thing?
_________________________________
Oh, asteroid's still a day off.
_________________________________
And like my grandfather used to say...
_________________________________
"Red sky at night, sailor's delight.
_________________________________
"Purple sky at night,
who moved my foot cream?
_________________________________
"I need my foot cream."
_________________________________
Grampy was a confused
and angry weasel.
_________________________________
-(JULIAN AND DIEGO LAUGHING)
-DIEGO: You are so funny, J.
_________________________________
Stop! You're funny.
_________________________________
Take it easy, my brother
from a tiger mother.
_________________________________
(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Hasta manana, J-man.
_________________________________
What was that?
_________________________________
What was what?
_________________________________
Oh, that! It's a cool way to peace out.
_________________________________
Julian taught it to me.
_________________________________
Well, I'm glad the apocalypse
is bringing you together.
_________________________________
He's a good kid, Manny.
I like his philosophy.
_________________________________
Give him a chance. Bond with him.
_________________________________
(SINGING) So light 'em up, up, up
_________________________________
Light 'em up, up, up
_________________________________
Light 'em up, up, up
I'm on fire
_________________________________
-(GROANS)
-Bonding! That's a good idea!
_________________________________
Oh, right. Got you.
_________________________________
You take Julian.
I got an idea for Peaches.
_________________________________
(HUMMING)
_________________________________
Hey, Bro-Kid.
_________________________________
Oh, hey, Bro-Dad. You here to rock out?
_________________________________
(MIMICKING DRUMMING)
_________________________________
Okay. Instead of that...
_________________________________
how about a game before bedtime?
_________________________________
No way! You want to play
a game with me? Wow!
_________________________________
What is honored times 1,000?
_________________________________
No! Times one million?
_________________________________
'Cause whatever that equals,
is how honored I am.
_________________________________
So, is that a "yes"?
_________________________________
Yes, that's a "yes." It's the most "yes"!
_________________________________
It's like "yes" with a bunch of s's...
_________________________________
so it's like "yessssssssssssssssssss."
_________________________________
Great!
_________________________________
-(GRUNTING)
-I'll see you on the ice!
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
Happy?
_________________________________
Whoa!
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Oh, boy.
_________________________________
(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________
So, do you think you're ready
to go out roaming on your own?
_________________________________
I won't be alone. I'll have Julian.
_________________________________
Sure. But with asteroids flying...
_________________________________
no home to speak of
_________________________________
and absolutely no support system...
_________________________________
do you think you'll be ready for...
_________________________________
this?
_________________________________
(GASPING)
_________________________________
I'm a wittle baby.
_________________________________
(BAWLING)
_________________________________
Imagine. You're in the woods,
looking for food...
_________________________________
and your baby gets sick.
What do you do?
_________________________________
Uh...
_________________________________
No! Jiggling makes her feel worse!
_________________________________
(VOCALIZING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMS)
_________________________________
(BAWLING)
_________________________________
Oh, no! Now your older toddler
_________________________________
has a skinned knee and a stuffy nose.
_________________________________
Mommy, hold me!
_________________________________
Now your babies are crying.
_________________________________
You have no food and then
_________________________________
you come face to face
with a rabid beast!
_________________________________
(GROWLING)
_________________________________
I am a rabid beast
who gives rabies to babies.
_________________________________
(YELLING)
_________________________________
And there's an arsonist on the loose.
_________________________________
(CACKLING)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
How are you going to handle
all this without our help?
_________________________________
(BOTH BAWLING)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(CACKLING)
_________________________________
-Huh?
-Ah!
_________________________________
(CRYING)
_________________________________
-Ah!
-(BAWLING)
_________________________________
Peaches, out!
_________________________________
That's just the easy stuff.
_________________________________
There's a lot more we still need to cover.
_________________________________
Uh... Baby made a poopie.
_________________________________
(SPITS) I'm a method actor,
so I will need to be changed.
_________________________________
JULIAN: Oh! So close!
_________________________________
These pucks go fast.
_________________________________
Just watch the puck
all the way into the stick.
_________________________________
Oh! I did it!
_________________________________
Too bad you and Peaches
are moving away.
_________________________________
If you stayed,
we could do this all the time.
_________________________________
Okay. Show me the heat!
_________________________________
I'm like a hockey ninja!
_________________________________
Hey, Peaches!
_________________________________
Looks like you got a new hockey partner
_________________________________
to replace your dad.
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(GROANING)
_________________________________
Oh!
_________________________________
Oh, no.
_________________________________
Julian!
_________________________________
(SHIVERING)
_________________________________
Such a mystery why
he wants to move far away.
_________________________________
I didn't mean to do it.
_________________________________
It's not my fault the kid has no reflexes.
_________________________________
PEACHES:
How could you do that to him?
_________________________________
I thought you liked Julian.
_________________________________
I do like Julian.
_________________________________
Well, you don't act like it.
_________________________________
When you look at him
all you see is an obstacle.
_________________________________
Or worse, a target.
_________________________________
But I see a sweet guy...
_________________________________
who's trying his hardest to impress you.
_________________________________
-Peaches.
-No! Both of you, just stop!
_________________________________
If we survive, I'm still getting married
_________________________________
and I'm still leaving home.
_________________________________
Whether you're happy for me or not.
_________________________________
Don't give me that look. She said both.
_________________________________
That means you, too.
_________________________________
And this widdle astewoid went
wee, wee, wee, all the way home.
_________________________________
(DINO-BIRDS GASP)
_________________________________
ROGER: Hey... (YELPS)
_________________________________
Eh...
_________________________________
Because Daddy and his fwiends
saved the world.
_________________________________
_________________________________
(GUN FIRING)
_________________________________
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
_________________________________
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(CLATTERING)
_________________________________
REMY: This is me.
_________________________________
I think it's apparent
I need to rethink my life a little bit.
_________________________________
What's my problem?
_________________________________
First of all, I'm a rat.
_________________________________
Which means life is hard.
_________________________________
And second, I have a highly developed
sense of taste and smell.
_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
_________________________________
Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla bean...
_________________________________
Oh! Small twist of lemon.
_________________________________
Whoa, you can smell all that?
You have a gift.
_________________________________
REMY: This is Emile, my brother.
He's easily impressed.
_________________________________
So you can smell ingredients?
So what?
_________________________________
This is my dad. He's never impressed.
_________________________________
He also happens to be
the leader of our clan.
_________________________________
So, what's wrong
with having highly developed senses?
_________________________________
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't eat that!
-What's going on here?
_________________________________
Turns out that funny smell
was rat poison.
_________________________________
Suddenly, Dad didn't think
my talent was useless.
_________________________________
I was feeling pretty good about my gift,
_________________________________
until Dad gave me a job.
_________________________________
Clean.
_________________________________
Clean.
_________________________________
That's right. Poison checker.
_________________________________
Cleanerific.
_________________________________
Cleanerino.
_________________________________
Close to godliness.
_________________________________
Which means clean.
You know, cleanliness is close to...
_________________________________
Never mind. Move on.
_________________________________
Well, it made my dad proud.
_________________________________
Now, don't you feel better, Remy?
You've helped a noble cause.
_________________________________
Noble? We're thieves, Dad.
_________________________________
And what we're stealing is,
let's face it, garbage.
_________________________________
It isn't stealing if no one wants it.
_________________________________
If no one wants it,
why are we stealing it?
_________________________________
(LECTURING)
_________________________________
Let's just say
we have different points of view.
_________________________________
This much I knew:
_________________________________
If you are what you eat,
then I only want to eat the good stuff.
_________________________________
But to my dad...
_________________________________
Food is fuel.
_________________________________
You get picky about what you put
in the tank, your engine is gonna die.
_________________________________
Now shut up and eat your garbage.
_________________________________
Look, if we're going to be thieves,
_________________________________
why not steal the good stuff
in the kitchen,
_________________________________
where nothing is poisoned?
_________________________________
First of all, we are not thieves.
_________________________________
Secondly, stay out of the kitchen
and away from the humans.
_________________________________
It's dangerous.
_________________________________
REMY: I know
I'm supposed to hate humans,
_________________________________
but there's something about them.
_________________________________
They don't just survive.
They discover, they create.
_________________________________
I mean,
just look at what they do with food.
_________________________________
GUSTEAU: (ON TV)
How can I describe it?
_________________________________
Good food is like music you can taste,
color you can smell.
_________________________________
There is excellence all around you.
_________________________________
You need only be aware to stop
and savor it.
_________________________________
REMY: Oh, Gusteau was right.
_________________________________
Oh, mmm, yeah.
_________________________________
Oh, amazing.
_________________________________
Each flavor was totally unique.
_________________________________
But combine one flavor with another,
_________________________________
and something new was created.
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
_________________________________
Dad!
_________________________________
What seems to be the problem, officers?
_________________________________
Tell them you dared me to do it.
_________________________________
If that's true, then you should be
taking the rap here, not your son.
_________________________________
And what happens to me if it's my fault?
_________________________________
You'll have to attend
a one-hour parenting class.
_________________________________
It was all his idea!
He's out of control, I tell you!
_________________________________
I'm at my wit's end!
_________________________________
(SOBBING) It's so...
_________________________________
WIGGUM: See you in court, kid.
_________________________________
Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
_________________________________
Did you at least bring my clothes?
_________________________________
Shirt, socks, everything you need.
_________________________________
-You didn't bring my pants!
-Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
_________________________________
(SIGHS) Oh, this is
the worst day of my life.
_________________________________
The worst day of your life so far.
_________________________________
-Say, Bart?
-What do you want, Flanders?
_________________________________
If you need pants, I carry an extra pair.
_________________________________
I mean, you know how boys are,
always praying through the knees.
_________________________________
Why are you helping me?
I'm not your kid.
_________________________________
We're neighbors. I'm sure your father
would do the same for my boys.
_________________________________
HOMER: Thank you.
_________________________________
HOMER: (CHOMPING)
Mmm, mmm, mmm...
_________________________________
(MUMBLING)
_________________________________
-Hey, what's with you?
-You really want to know?
_________________________________
Of course I do.
_________________________________
What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...
_________________________________
A pig wearing a hat!
_________________________________
DIRECTOR: Action.
_________________________________
Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,
for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger!
_________________________________
If you can find a greasier sandwich,
you're in Mexico!
_________________________________
(GOOFY LAUGHING)
_________________________________
Mmm!
_________________________________
DIRECTOR: And we're clear.
_________________________________
Blech! Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.
_________________________________
(SQUEALING)
_________________________________
What? You can't kill him
if he's wearing people clothes.
_________________________________
(SQUEALS)
_________________________________
(SQUEAKS, SNORTS)
_________________________________
(MAN SINGING
ROMANTIC POP SONG)
_________________________________
-You're coming home with me.
-(SQUEALS AND SNORTS)
_________________________________
(GUNSHOTS AND BABIES CRYING)
_________________________________
"A thousand eyes." What could that be?
_________________________________
Hmm, I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.
_________________________________
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
_________________________________
Actually, it's aged me horribly.
_________________________________
Then say hello to the newest Simpson!
_________________________________
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
Homer!
_________________________________
(QUIET GRUNT)
_________________________________
I believe what happened in church
was a warning about precisely this.
_________________________________
Please, get rid of that pig!
_________________________________
Oh, you're gonna love him.
Look, he does an impression of you.
_________________________________
(SQUEALS LOUDLY)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(LAUGHING) You nailed her.
_________________________________
He also does me.
_________________________________
(BELCHES)
_________________________________
(MARGE LAUGHING)
_________________________________
You smiled! I'm off the hook!
_________________________________
Ooh.
_________________________________
(HOMER HUMMING)
_________________________________
Oh, you have so many looks.
_________________________________
(PLOPPER SNORTS)
_________________________________
(SIGHS)
_________________________________
(KISSING)
_________________________________
(VACUUM WHIRRING)
_________________________________
Hmm, so that's what snug is.
_________________________________
HOMER: Who's a good pig?
_________________________________
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
_________________________________
Who's a good pig?
_________________________________
FLANDERS: Rough day, huh, son?
_________________________________
You don't know what rough is, sister.
_________________________________
(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
Bart, you know, whenever my boys
bake up a batch of frownies,
_________________________________
I take them fishing.
_________________________________
Does your dad ever take you fishing?
_________________________________
-(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)
-Dad!
_________________________________
It's not fair to use a bug zapper
to catch the fish.
_________________________________
If you love fish like I do,
you want them to die with dignity.
_________________________________
(LOUD ZAPPING)
_________________________________
(GURGLING)
_________________________________
I think I have a nibble. (SCREAMS)
_________________________________
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
-(SCREAMING)
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
_________________________________
-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
I think fishing might be
more fun with you.
_________________________________
Oh, great. Now, how about
I fix you some cocoa?
_________________________________
No way, cocoa's for wusses.
_________________________________
Well, sir, if you change your mind,
it's on the windowsill.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(SLURPING)
_________________________________
BART: Oh, my God.
_________________________________
Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the
best part. He loves the environment.
_________________________________
Oh, wait, I still didn't tell you
the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.
_________________________________
No, no, wait, wait!
I still didn't tell you the best part!
_________________________________
He's not imaginary.
_________________________________
Oh, honey, that's great.
_________________________________
But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.
_________________________________
Because nothing means more
than for a man to...
_________________________________
How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?
_________________________________
HOMER: (SINGING) Spider Pig
♪ Spider Pig
_________________________________
♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________
♪ Can he swing from a web?
_________________________________
♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
_________________________________
♪ Look out
He is the Spider-Pig
_________________________________
_________________________________

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