Ratatouille subtitles

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MAN ON TV: (FRENCH ACCENT)
Although each of the world's countries
_________________________________

would like to dispute this fact,
_________________________________

we French know the truth:
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The best food in the world
is made in France.
_________________________________

The best food in France
is made in Paris.
_________________________________

And the best food in Paris, some say,
is made by Chef Auguste Gusteau.
_________________________________

Gusteau's restaurant
is the toast of Paris,
_________________________________

booked five months in advance.
_________________________________

And his dazzling ascent
to the top of fine French cuisine
_________________________________

has made his competitors envious.
_________________________________

He is the youngest chef ever
to achieve a five-star rating.
_________________________________

Chef Gusteau's cookbook,
Anyone Can Cook!
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climbed to the top of the bestseller list.
_________________________________

But not everyone
celebrates its success.
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Amusing title, Anyone Can Cook!
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What's even more amusing is that
Gusteau actually seems to believe it.
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I, on the other hand,
take cooking seriously.
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And, no, I don't think anyone can do it.

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(GUN FIRING)
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(THUNDER RUMBLING)
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(WOMAN SCREAMING)
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(CLATTERING)
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REMY: This is me.
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I think it's apparent
I need to rethink my life a little bit.
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What's my problem?
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First of all, I'm a rat.
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Which means life is hard.
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And second, I have a highly developed
sense of taste and smell.

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(SNIFFING)
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Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla bean...

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Oh! Small twist of lemon.

_________________________________

Whoa, you can smell all that?
You have a gift.

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REMY: This is Emile, my brother.
He's easily impressed.

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So you can smell ingredients?
So what?
_________________________________

This is my dad. He's never impressed.

_________________________________
He also happens to be
the leader of our clan.

_________________________________
So, what's wrong
with having highly developed senses?

_________________________________
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't eat that!

-What's going on here?
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Turns out that funny smell
was rat poison.

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Suddenly, Dad didn't think
my talent was useless.
_________________________________

I was feeling pretty good about my gift,
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until Dad gave me a job.
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Clean.

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Clean.

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That's right. Poison checker.
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Cleanerific.

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Cleanerino.

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Close to godliness.

_________________________________

Which means clean.
You know, cleanliness is close to...

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Never mind. Move on.

_________________________________

Well, it made my dad proud.
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Now, don't you feel better, Remy?
You've helped a noble cause.

_________________________________

Noble? We're thieves, Dad.

_________________________________

And what we're stealing is,
let's face it, garbage.

_________________________________

It isn't stealing if no one wants it.

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If no one wants it,
why are we stealing it?

_________________________________
(LECTURING)
_________________________________

Let's just say
we have different points of view.
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This much I knew:

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If you are what you eat,
then I only want to eat the good stuff.

_________________________________
But to my dad...
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Food is fuel.

_________________________________

You get picky about what you put
in the tank, your engine is gonna die.

_________________________________

Now shut up and eat your garbage.

_________________________________

Look, if we're going to be thieves,
_________________________________

why not steal the good stuff
in the kitchen,
_________________________________

where nothing is poisoned?
_________________________________

First of all, we are not thieves.

_________________________________

Secondly, stay out of the kitchen
and away from the humans.

_________________________________

It's dangerous.

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REMY: I know
I'm supposed to hate humans,
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but there's something about them.
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They don't just survive.
They discover, they create.
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I mean,
just look at what they do with food.

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GUSTEAU ON TV:
How can I describe it?
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Good food is like music you can taste,
color you can smell.
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There is excellence all around you.
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You need only be aware to stop
and savor it.

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REMY: Oh, Gusteau was right.
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Oh, mmm, yeah.
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Oh, amazing.
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Each flavor was totally unique.
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But combine one flavor with another,
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and something new was created.

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(GASPS)
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So now I had a secret life.

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(GASPS)
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(CACKLING)
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The only one who knew about it
was Emile.
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(WHISPERING FIERCELY)
Hey, Emile. Emile.

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I found a mushroom.

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Come on, you're good at hiding food.
Help me find a good place to put this.

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He doesn't understand me,
but I can be myself around him.

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Why are you walking like that?
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I don't want to constantly
have to wash my paws.

_________________________________

Did you ever think about how we walk
on the same paws
_________________________________

that we handle food with?
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You ever think about
what we put into our mouths?
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All the time.

_________________________________

When I eat, I don't want to taste
everywhere my paws have been.

_________________________________

Well, go ahead.

_________________________________

But if Dad sees you walking like that,
he's not going to like it.

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
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What have you got there?
_________________________________

Ah, oh, oh...

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

You found cheese?
_________________________________

And not just any cheese.
Tomme de chevre de pays!
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That would go beautifully
with my mushroom.

_________________________________

And...

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(STUTTERING)
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This rosemary! This rosemary
_________________________________

with maybe with a few drops
from this sweet grass.

_________________________________

Well, throw it on the pile, I guess,
and then we'll... You know...

_________________________________

We don't want to throw this in
with the garbage. This is special.

_________________________________

But we're supposed
to return to the colony
_________________________________

before sundown or,
you know, Dad's gonna...

_________________________________

Emile!
_________________________________

There are possibilities
unexplored here.

_________________________________

We got to cook this.

_________________________________

Now, exactly how we cook this
is the real question...

_________________________________

Yeah.

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The key is to keep turning it.

_________________________________

Get the smoky flavor nice and even.

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(THUNDER RUMBLING)
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That storm's getting closer.

_________________________________

Hey, Remy, you think that maybe
we shouldn't be so...

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(BOTH SCREAMING)
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(MOANING)
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(MUNCHING)
_________________________________

Oh! You got to taste this!
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This is... It's got this kind of...
It's burny, melty...

_________________________________

It's not really a smoky taste.
It's a certain... It's kind of like a...

_________________________________

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

It's got, like, this "ba-boom, zap"
kind of taste. Don't you think?
_________________________________

-What would you call that flavor?

-(HESITANTLY) Lightning-y?
_________________________________

Yeah. It's lightning-y!
We got to do that again.

_________________________________

Okay, when the next storm comes,
we'll go up on the roof...

_________________________________

I know what this needs! Saffron!
A little saffron would make this!
_________________________________

Saffron. Why do I get the feeling
_________________________________

-it's in the kitchen?

-It's in the kitchen.

_________________________________

(SNORING)
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(BOTTLES CLINKING)
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-REMY: Saffron.

-Not good.

_________________________________

Saffron.

_________________________________

Don't like it. She's gonna wake up.

_________________________________

I've been down here a million times.

_________________________________

She turns on the cooking channel,
boom, she never wakes up.

_________________________________

You've been here a million times?
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I'm telling you, saffron will be
just the thing. Gusteau swears by it.

_________________________________

Okay. Who's Gusteau?
_________________________________

Just the greatest chef in the world.
Wrote this cookbook.

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(STAMMERING)
Wait. You read?
_________________________________

-Well, not excessively.

-Oh, man. Does Dad know?
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(SCOFFS) You could fill a book, a lot
of books, with things Dad doesn't know.

_________________________________

And they have, which is why I read.
Which is also our secret.

_________________________________

I don't like secrets.

_________________________________

(STUTTERING) All this cooking
and reading and TV-watching
_________________________________

while we read and cook.

_________________________________

It's like you're involving me in crime,
and I let you.

_________________________________

Why do I let you?
_________________________________

What's taking those kids so long?
_________________________________

Ah, I'Aquila saffron. Italian. Huh?
_________________________________

Gusteau says it's excellent.
Good thing the old lady is a food love...

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GUSTEAU ON TV: Forget mystique.
This is about your cooking.

_________________________________
Hey! That's Gusteau. Emile, look.
_________________________________

Great cooking
is not for the faint of heart.
_________________________________

You must be imaginative,
strong hearted.
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You must try things that may not work.
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And you must not let anyone
define your limits
_________________________________

because of where you come from.
_________________________________

Your only limit is your soul.
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What I say is true. Anyone can cook.
But only the fearless can be great.

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Pure poetry.

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REPORTER: But it was not to last.
_________________________________

Gusteau's restaurant lost
one of its five stars
_________________________________

after a scathing review
by France's top food critic, Anton Ego.
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It was a severe blow to Gusteau,
_________________________________

and the brokenhearted chef
died shortly afterwards,
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which, according to tradition,
meant the loss of another star.

_________________________________
Gusteau is dead?
_________________________________

Oh!
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(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Oh! Oh!
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Oh!
_________________________________

Run!
_________________________________

No, you'll lead her to the colony!
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(GASPS)
_________________________________

(CLICKING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

-Help, Remy, help!

-Emile! Start swinging the light!

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(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Try to grab you.

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(GRUMBLING)
_________________________________

Emile, swing to me.

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(GRUNTING)
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(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
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(EXCLAIMS)
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(SIGHS)
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(CRACKING)
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(CREAKING)
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(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(RATS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Evacuate! Everyone, to the boats.

_________________________________

(ALL CLAMORING)
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-RAT: Let me through!

-The book.

_________________________________

Excuse me. Move, move.

_________________________________

(AIR HISSING)
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(WHIMPERING)
_________________________________

Go, go, go, go. Move, move, move.

_________________________________

Get the bridge up! Move it, move it!
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FEMALE RAT:
Hey, Johnny! Hurry!
_________________________________

Push off. Come on.

_________________________________

Get hold!
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(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

-Take the baby. Here!

-Give me your paw.

_________________________________

Hey, wait for me!
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(THUNDER CRACKING)
_________________________________

Is everybody here?
Do we have everybody?

_________________________________
-Wait a minute. Where's Remy?

-Right here. I'm coming.

_________________________________

I'm coming!
_________________________________

Hold on, Son.
Give him something to grab on to.

_________________________________

Come on, boy. Paddle, Son.
_________________________________

Come on. Reach for it.

_________________________________

You can do it.

_________________________________

(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

-Remy!

-Dad!
_________________________________

Come on. You can make it.
You can make it.

_________________________________

(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

Guys, wait. Stop!
_________________________________

Remy. Come on. Paddle.

_________________________________

Hold on! Wait for me. Hold on.

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(RATS SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Dad?
_________________________________

Dad?
_________________________________

Which way?
_________________________________

(WATER ROARING)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

(WATER DRIPPING)
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REMY: I waited
_________________________________

for a sound,
_________________________________

a voice,
_________________________________

a sign,
_________________________________

something.

_________________________________
(STOMACH GROWLING)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

If you are hungry,
go up and look around, Remy.

_________________________________

Why do you wait and mope?
_________________________________

Well, I've just lost my family,
all my friends,
_________________________________

probably forever.

_________________________________

-How do you know?

-Well, I...

_________________________________

You are an illustration.
Why am I talking to you?
_________________________________

Well, you just lost your family,
all your friends. You are lonely.

_________________________________

Yeah. Well, you're dead.

_________________________________

Ah, but that is no match
for wishful thinking.

_________________________________

If you focus on what you've left behind,
_________________________________

you'll never be able to see
what lies ahead.

_________________________________

Now go up and look around.

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(SNIFFING)
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(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
_________________________________

Oh!
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(CHUCKLING)
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(CORK POPPING)
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WOMAN: Champagne!
_________________________________

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

What are you doing?
_________________________________

(SIGHING)
_________________________________

I'm hungry.

_________________________________

I don't know where I am,
_________________________________

and I don't know
when I'll find food again.

_________________________________

Remy, you are better than that.
You are a cook.

_________________________________

A cook makes. A thief takes.
You are not a thief.

_________________________________

But I am hungry.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
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Food will come, Remy.

_________________________________

Food always comes
to those who love to cook.

_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

-You think I am playing?

-You don't have the guts.

_________________________________

(GUNSHOT)
_________________________________

(WOMAN EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

(BARKING)
_________________________________

Paris?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) All this time
I've been underneath Paris?

_________________________________
Wow.

_________________________________

It's beautiful.

_________________________________

The most beautiful.

_________________________________

Gusteau's? Your restaurant?
_________________________________

You've led me to your restaurant.

_________________________________

It seems as though I have. Yes.
There it is! I have led you to it!

_________________________________
I got to see this.

_________________________________

HORST: Ready to go on table seven.

COLETTE: Coming around.

_________________________________

LALO: One order of steamed pike up.

MAN: Coming up.
_________________________________

LAROUSSE: I need
more soup bowls, please.

_________________________________

COLETTE: I need two rack of lamb.
I need more leeks.

_________________________________

I need two salmon, three
salade composee, and three filet.

_________________________________

LAROUSSE: Three orders
of salade composee working.

_________________________________

Firing two orders, seared salmon.

_________________________________

Three filet working. I need plates.

_________________________________

HORST: Fire seven.

MAN: Three salade composee up.

_________________________________

COLETTE: Don't mess with my mise!
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LAROUSSE: Open down low.

_________________________________

MAN: I'm getting buried here.

_________________________________

Hello, Chef Skinner.
How your night be now?

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HORST: Bonjour, chef.

LAROUSSE: Hello, Chef Skinner.

_________________________________

-Evening, chef.

-WAITER: Ordering deux filet.

_________________________________

Hey, boss, look who is here.

_________________________________

Alfredo Linguini, Renata's little boy.

_________________________________

-Hi.

-All grown up, eh?
_________________________________

You remember Renata,
Gusteau's old flame?

_________________________________
(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

-Yes. How are you...

-Linguini.

_________________________________

Yes, Linguini. So nice of you to visit.
How is...

_________________________________

-My mother?

-Renata.

_________________________________

-Yes, Renata. H?

-Good.

_________________________________

Well, not... She's been better. I mean...

_________________________________

She died.

_________________________________

Oh.

_________________________________

I'm sorry.

_________________________________

Oh, don't be. She believed in heaven,
so she's covered.

_________________________________

You know, afterlife-wise?
_________________________________

(TITTERS)
_________________________________

-What's this?

-She left it for you.

_________________________________

I think she hoped it would help me,
_________________________________

you know, get a job here.

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But of course.
Gusteau wouldn't hesitate.

_________________________________

Any son of Renata's is more than...

_________________________________

Yes, well, we could file this
and if something suitable opens up...

_________________________________

We have already hired him.

_________________________________

What? How dare you hire someone
without my...

_________________________________

We needed a garbage boy.

_________________________________

Oh, garbage. Well...

_________________________________

I'm glad it worked out.

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Uh...

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(GULPS)
_________________________________

I can't believe it.
_________________________________

A real gourmet kitchen,
and I get to watch.

_________________________________

You've read my book.
Let us see how much you know, huh?

_________________________________
Which one is the chef?
_________________________________

Oh! Uh...

_________________________________

-Oh, that guy.

-Very good.

_________________________________

Who is next in command?
_________________________________

The sous chef. There.

_________________________________

The sous is responsible for the kitchen
when the chef's not around.

_________________________________

Saucier, in charge of sauces.
Very important.

_________________________________

Chef de partie, demi chef de partie,
both important.

_________________________________

Commis, commis, they're cooks.
Very important.

_________________________________

You are a clever rat. Now, who is that?
_________________________________

Oh, him? He's nobody.

_________________________________

Not nobody. He is part of the kitchen.

_________________________________

No, he's a plongeur or something.

_________________________________

He washes dishes or takes out
the garbage. He doesn't cook.

_________________________________

-But he could.

-(SNICKERING) Uh, no.

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How do you know?
What do I always say?

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Anyone can cook.

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Well, yeah, anyone can.
That doesn't mean that anyone should.

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(CHUCKLING) Well,
that is not stopping him. See?
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What is he doing?
No. No! No, this is terrible!

_________________________________
(STUTTERING)
_________________________________

He's ruining the soup.
And nobody's noticing?
_________________________________

It's your restaurant. Do something.

_________________________________

What can I do?
I am a figment of your imagination.

_________________________________

But he's ruining the soup!
We got to tell someone that he's...

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(GASPING)
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COLETTE: Table five coming up,
right now.

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(GASPS)
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LALO: Coming down the line.

COLETTE: Set.

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Ah!
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COLETTE: Hot! Open oven!
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(PANTING)
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Ah!
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HORST: Coming around.

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Ooh!
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COLETTE: Oui, chef.
One filet mignon, three lamb, two duck.

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HORST: Fire those souffles
for table six, ja.

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-COLETTE: Five minutes, chef.

-Oh, God.

_________________________________

Tonight,
I'd like to present the foie gras.

_________________________________

It has a wonderful finish.

_________________________________

-REMY: Ooh!

-Ah!
_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

HORST: Ready to go on table seven.
Come on! Let's go!

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WAITER: Oui, chef.

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(VOMITING)

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(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING INDECISIVELY)
_________________________________

(BUBBLING GENTLY)
_________________________________

Remy! What are you waiting for?
_________________________________

Is this going to become a regular thing
with you?
_________________________________

You know how to fix it.
This is your chance.

_________________________________

(BELL DINGS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

The soup! Where is the soup?
Out of my way.

_________________________________

Move it, garbage boy!
_________________________________

You are cooking?
_________________________________

How dare you cook in my kitchen?
_________________________________

Where do you get the gall
_________________________________

to even attempt something
so monumentally idiotic?
_________________________________

I should have you drawn
and quartered!
_________________________________

I'll do it. I think the law is on my side.

_________________________________

(PLEADING)
_________________________________

Larousse, draw and quarter this man
_________________________________

after you put him in the duck press
to squeeze the fat out of his head.

_________________________________

-What are you blathering about?

-(STUTTERING) The soup!
_________________________________

Soup?
_________________________________

Stop that soup!
_________________________________

No!
_________________________________

(PIANO PLAYING SOFTLY)
_________________________________

Waiter.

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

Linguini!
_________________________________

You're fired!
_________________________________

F-I-R-E-D! Fired!
_________________________________

She wants to see the chef.

_________________________________

(STUTTERING) But he...

_________________________________

(CLEARING THROAT)
_________________________________

-What did the customer say?

-It was not a customer. It was a critic.

_________________________________

-Ego?

-Solene LeClaire.

_________________________________

-LeClaire? What did she say?

-She likes the soup.

_________________________________

-Wait.

-What do you mean, "Wait"?

_________________________________
You're the reason I'm in this mess.

_________________________________

(SHUSHING)
Someone is asking about your soup.

_________________________________

What are you playing at?

_________________________________
(STAMMERING)
_________________________________

Am I still fired?
_________________________________

-COLETTE: You can't fire him.

-What?
_________________________________

LeClaire likes it, yeah?
She made a point of telling you so.

_________________________________

If she write a review to that effect
_________________________________

and find out you fired
the cook responsible...

_________________________________

-(SCOFFS) He's a garbage boy.

-Who made something she liked.

_________________________________

How can we claim to represent
the name of Gusteau
_________________________________

if we don't uphold
his most cherished belief?
_________________________________

And what belief is that,
Mademoiselle Tatou?
_________________________________

Anyone can cook.

_________________________________

Perhaps I have been a bit harsh
on our new garbage boy.

_________________________________

He has taken a bold risk
_________________________________

and we should reward that,
as Chef Gusteau would have.

_________________________________

If he wishes
to swim in dangerous waters,

_________________________________
who are we to deny him?
_________________________________

(CLEARING THROAT)
_________________________________

-You were escaping?

-Oh, yeah.

_________________________________

Since you have expressed
such an interest in his cooking career,

_________________________________
you shall be responsible for it.

_________________________________

(TITTERING)
_________________________________

Anyone else?
_________________________________

Then back to work.

_________________________________

You are either very lucky
or very unlucky.

_________________________________

You will make the soup again,
and this time, I'll be paying attention.

_________________________________

Very close attention.

_________________________________

They think you might be a cook.
But you know what I think, Linguini?

_________________________________
I think you are a sneaky,
overreaching little...

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Rat!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

-Rat!

-HORST: Get the rat.

_________________________________

Linguini. Get something to trap it.

_________________________________

HORST: It's getting away.
Get it, get it, get it.

_________________________________

-What should I do now?

-Kill it.

_________________________________

-Now?

-No, not in the kitchen. Are you mad?
_________________________________

Do you know what would happen to us
_________________________________

if anyone knew
we had a rat in our kitchen?

_________________________________
They'd close us down.

_________________________________

Our reputation is hanging by a thread
as it is.

_________________________________

Take it away from here. Far away.
Kill it. Dispose of it. Go!

_________________________________
Whoa!
_________________________________

Doh!
_________________________________

(REMY PANTING)
_________________________________

Don't look at me like that!
You aren't the only one who's trapped.

_________________________________

They expect me to cook it again!
_________________________________

I mean, I'm not ambitious.
I wasn't trying to cook.

_________________________________

I was just trying to stay out of trouble.

_________________________________

You're the one who was getting fancy
with the spices!
_________________________________

What did you throw in there? Oregano?
No? What? Rosemary?
_________________________________

That's a spice, isn't it? Rosemary?
_________________________________

You didn't throw rosemary in there?
_________________________________

Then what was all the flipping
and all the throwing the...

_________________________________

(SIGHING)
_________________________________

I need this job. I've lost so many.

_________________________________

I don't know how to cook, and now
I'm actually talking to a rat as if you...

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Did you nod?
_________________________________

Have you been nodding?
_________________________________

You understand me?
_________________________________

So I'm not crazy!
_________________________________

Wait a second, wait a second.

_________________________________

I can't cook, can I?
_________________________________

But you...
_________________________________

You can, right?
_________________________________

Look, don't be so modest.
You're a rat, for Pete's sake.

_________________________________

Whatever you did, they liked it.

_________________________________

Yeah. This could work.

_________________________________

Hey, they liked the soup!
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

They liked the soup.
Do you think you could do it again?

_________________________________
Okay, I'm going to let you out now.

_________________________________

But we're together on this. Right?
_________________________________

Okay.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(SOFT PATTERING APPROACHING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

So this is it.

_________________________________

I mean, it's not much, but it's,
you know...

_________________________________

Not much.
_________________________________

It could be worse.

_________________________________

There's heat and light
and a couch with a TV.

_________________________________

So, you know, what's mine is yours.

_________________________________

Are you...
_________________________________

Is this a dream?
_________________________________

The best kind of dream.
_________________________________

One we can share.

_________________________________
(SNORING)
_________________________________

But why here?
_________________________________

Why now?
_________________________________

Why not here?
_________________________________

Why not now?
_________________________________

What better place to dream
than in Paris?

_________________________________
Morning, Little Chef. Rise and...

_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Oh, no.

_________________________________

Idiot! I knew this would happen!
_________________________________

I let a rat into my place
and tell him what's mine is his!

_________________________________
Eggs, gone!
_________________________________

Stupid! He's stolen food
and hit the road! What did I expect?

_________________________________
That's what I get for trusting a...

_________________________________

(STUTTERING)
_________________________________

Hi. Is that for me?
_________________________________

Mmm!
_________________________________

That's good. What did you put in this?
_________________________________

Where'd you get that?
_________________________________

Look, it's delicious. But don't steal.
I'll buy some spices, okay?
_________________________________

Oh, no. We're going to be late.
And on the first day!
_________________________________

(MOUTH FULL)
Come on, Little Chef!
_________________________________

"Though I, like many other critic,
_________________________________

"had written off Gusteau as irrelevant
since the great chef's death,
_________________________________

"the soup was a revelation.
A spicy yet subtle taste experience."

_________________________________
-Solene LeClaire?

-Yes!
_________________________________

"Against all odds,
Gusteau's has recaptured our attention.

_________________________________

"Only time will tell if they deserve it."
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Well...

_________________________________

You know.

_________________________________

Look, I know it's stupid and weird,
but neither of us can do this alone,
_________________________________

so we got to do it together, right?
You with me?
_________________________________

So let's do this thing!
_________________________________

I...

_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

(STAMMERING)
_________________________________

(PANTING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Welcome to hell.
Now, recreate the soup.

_________________________________

Take as much time as you need.
All week if you must.

_________________________________

Soup.

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

You little...

_________________________________

(STRIKING)
_________________________________

Ow!
_________________________________

(STRIKING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(YELPS)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

You son of a...

_________________________________

(SHIVERS)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

You got...

_________________________________

(WHIMPERING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(SHRIEKS)
_________________________________

This is not going to work, Little Chef!
_________________________________

I'm going to lose it
if we do this anymore.

_________________________________

We've got to figure out something else.

_________________________________

Something that doesn't involve
any biting, or nipping,
_________________________________

or running up and down my body
with your little rat feet.

_________________________________

The biting! No! Scampering! No!
_________________________________

No scampering or scurrying.
Understand, Little Chef?

_________________________________
Little Chef?
_________________________________

Oh, you're hungry.

_________________________________

Okay. So let's think this out.

_________________________________

You know how to cook,
and I know how to appear

_________________________________
human.

_________________________________

We need to work out a system
so that I do what you want
_________________________________

in a way that doesn't look like
I'm being controlled by a tiny rat chef.

_________________________________

Would you listen to me? I'm insane!
I'm insane! I'm insane!
_________________________________

In a refrigerator talking to a rat
about cooking in a gourmet restaurant.

_________________________________

-I will never pull this off!

-Linguini?
_________________________________

We gotta communicate.

_________________________________

I can't be constantly checking
for a yes or no head shake from a...

_________________________________

The rat! I saw it!
_________________________________

-A rat?

-Yes, a rat. Right next to you.

_________________________________

What are you doing in here?
_________________________________

I'm just familiarizing myself with,
you know, the vegetables and such.

_________________________________

Get out.

_________________________________

One can get too familiar
with vegetables, you know!
_________________________________

That was close. Are you okay up there?
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

(GUFFAWING)
_________________________________

How did you do that?
_________________________________

That's strangely involuntary!
_________________________________

REMY: One look and I knew
we had the same crazy idea.

_________________________________
Okay.

_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Where are you taking me? Wait.

_________________________________

(CLATTERING)
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
Wait. I'm sorry.

_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

Okay.

_________________________________

Mmm-hmm...

_________________________________

(SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

Okay.

_________________________________

(GLASS SHATTERING)
_________________________________

(TIRES SCREECHING)
_________________________________

(CRASHING)
_________________________________

(BLABBERING)
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

A votre santé!
_________________________________

(GURGLING)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) All right.

_________________________________

That should do it.

_________________________________

Mmm.

_________________________________

Congratulations. You were able to
repeat your accidental success.

_________________________________

But you'll need to know more than soup
if you are to survive in my kitchen, boy.

_________________________________

Colette will be responsible for
teaching you how we do things here.

_________________________________

Listen, I just want you to know
_________________________________

how honored I am
to be studying under such...

_________________________________

No! You listen. I just want you to know
exactly who you are dealing with.

_________________________________

How many women
do you see in this kitchen?

_________________________________
(TITTERING) Well, I...

_________________________________

-Only me. Why do you think that is?

-Well, I...

_________________________________

Because haute cuisine
is an antiquated hierarchy
_________________________________

built upon rules
written by stupid old men.

_________________________________

Rules designed to make it impossible
for women to enter this world.

_________________________________

But still I'm here. How did this happen?
_________________________________

(TITTERING)
Because, well, because you...

_________________________________

Because I am the toughest cook
in this kitchen.

_________________________________

I've worked too hard
for too long to get here
_________________________________

and I am not going to jeopardize it
for some garbage boy who got lucky.

_________________________________

Got it?
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Wow!
_________________________________

Easy to cook. Easy
to eat. Gusteau makes Chinese food
_________________________________

Chine-easy.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

-Excellent work, Francois, as usual.

-It's good, isn't it?
_________________________________

I want you to work up something
for my latest frozen food concept.

_________________________________

Gusteau's Corn Puppies.

_________________________________

They're like corn dogs, only smaller.
Bite size.

_________________________________

What are corn dogs?
_________________________________

Cheap sausages dipped in batter
and deep fried. You know, American.

_________________________________

Whip something up.
_________________________________

Maybe Gusteau in overalls
and Huckleberry Tom hat.

_________________________________

Or as a big ear of corn
in doggie make-up.

_________________________________

(HESITANTLY) Yes.
But, please, with dignity.

_________________________________

(CLEARING THROAT)
_________________________________

Get my lawyer!
_________________________________

Well, the will stipulates
_________________________________

that if after a period of two years
from the date of death
_________________________________

no heir appears,
_________________________________

Gusteau's business interests
will pass to his sous chef. You.

_________________________________

I know what the will stipulates.

_________________________________

What I want to know is if this letter...
If this boy changes anything!

_________________________________
There's not much resemblance.

_________________________________

There's no resemblance at all.
He is not Gusteau's son.

_________________________________

Gusteau had no children,
and what of the timing of all this?
_________________________________

The deadline in the will
expires in less than a month!
_________________________________

Suddenly,
some boy arrives with a letter
_________________________________

from his recently deceased mother
claiming Gusteau is his father?
_________________________________

Highly suspect!
_________________________________

-This is Gusteau's?

-Yes, yes, yes.

_________________________________

-May I?

-Of course.

_________________________________

But the boy does not know.

_________________________________

She claims she never told him,
or Gusteau, and asks that I not tell.

_________________________________

-Why you? What does she want?

-A job for the boy.

_________________________________

-Only a job?

-Well, yes.

_________________________________

Then what are you worried about?
If he works here,
_________________________________

you'll be able to keep an eye on him
while I do a little digging.

_________________________________

Find out how much of this is real.

_________________________________

I will need you
to collect some DNA samples

_________________________________
from the boy. Hair, maybe.

_________________________________

Mark my words.
The whole thing is highly suspect.

_________________________________

He knows something.

_________________________________

Relax, he's a garbage boy.
I think you can handle him.

_________________________________

What are you doing?
_________________________________

(STAMMERING) I'm cutting vegetables.
I'm cutting vegetables?
_________________________________

No! You waste energy and time!
_________________________________

You think cooking is a cute job,
like Mommy in the kitchen?
_________________________________

Well, Mommy never had to face
_________________________________

the dinner rush when the orders
come flooding in,
_________________________________

and every dish is different
and none are simple,
_________________________________

and all of the different cooking times,
_________________________________

but must arrive on the customer's table
_________________________________

at exactly the same time,
hot and perfect!
_________________________________

Every second counts,
and you cannot be Mommy!
_________________________________

What is this? Keep your station clear!
_________________________________

When the meal rush comes,
what will happen?
_________________________________

Messy stations slow things down.

_________________________________

Food doesn't go, orders pile up.
Disaster.

_________________________________

I'll make this easy to remember.

_________________________________

Keep your station clear,
or I will kill you!
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) Your sleeves
look like you threw up on them.

_________________________________

Keep your hands and arms in,
close to the body. Like this. See?
_________________________________

Always return to this position.

_________________________________

Cooks move fast. Sharp utensils,
hot metal, keep your arms in.

_________________________________

You will minimize cuts and burns
and keep your sleeves clean.

_________________________________

Mark of a chef:
Messy apron, clean sleeves.

_________________________________

I know the Gusteau style cold.

_________________________________

In every dish, Chef Gusteau
always has something unexpected.

_________________________________

I will show you.
I memorize all his recipe.

_________________________________

-Always do something unexpected.

-No. Follow the recipe.
_________________________________

-But you just said that...

-No, no, no.

_________________________________

It was his job to be unexpected.
It is our job to...

_________________________________

-Follow his recipes.

-Follow the recipe.

_________________________________

How do you tell how good bread is
without tasting it?
_________________________________

Not the smell, not the look,
but the sound of the crust.

_________________________________

Listen.

_________________________________

(CRUST CRACKING)
_________________________________

Symphony of crackle.
Only great bread sound this way.

_________________________________

The only way to get the best produce
is to have first pick of the day
_________________________________

and there are only two way
to get first pick.

_________________________________

Grow it yourself, or bribe a grower.

_________________________________

Voilá! The best restaurant get first pick.

_________________________________

People think haute cuisine is snooty.
So chef must also be snooty.

_________________________________

But not so.
Lalo there ran away from home at 12.

_________________________________

Got hired by circus people
as an acrobat.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) And then he get fired
_________________________________

for messing around
with the ringmaster's daughter.

_________________________________

(CONSPIRATORIAL WHISPER)
Horst has done time.

_________________________________

LINGUINI: What for?
_________________________________

No one know for sure. He changes
the story every time you ask him.

_________________________________

I defrauded a major corporation.

_________________________________

I robbed the second largest bank
in France using only a ballpoint pen.

_________________________________

I created a hole in the ozone
over Avignon.

_________________________________

I killed a man with this thumb.

_________________________________

COLETTE: Don't ever play cards
with Pompidou.

_________________________________

He's been banned from Las Vegas
and Monte Carlo.

_________________________________

-Larousse ran gun for the Resistance.

-Which resistance?
_________________________________

He won't say.
Apparently, they didn't win.

_________________________________

So you see.

_________________________________

We are artist, pirate.
More than cooks are we.

_________________________________

-We?

-Oui. You are one of us now, oui?

_________________________________
Oui. Thank you, by the way,
for all the advice about cooking.

_________________________________

-Thank you, too.

-For what?
_________________________________

For taking it.

_________________________________

(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

The rat!
_________________________________

-(STUTTERING) But he is a...

-(TITTERING) I just dropped my keys.

_________________________________

Have you decided this evening?
_________________________________

-Your soup is excellent. But...

-But we order it every time.

_________________________________

-What else do you have?

-Well, we have a very nice foie gras.

_________________________________

I know about the foie gras.

_________________________________

The old standby,
used to be famous for it.

_________________________________

What does the chef have that's new?
_________________________________

(DOOR SLAMMING)
_________________________________

-Someone has asked what is new!

-New?
_________________________________

Yes. What do I tell them?
_________________________________

-Well, what did you tell them?

-I told them I would ask!
_________________________________

What are you blathering about?
_________________________________

-Customers are asking what is new.

-What should I tell them?
_________________________________

-What did you tell them?

-I told them I would ask!
_________________________________

(PONDERING)
_________________________________

This is simple.

_________________________________

Just pull out an old Gusteau recipe,
_________________________________

something we haven't made
in a while...

_________________________________

They know about the old stuff.
They like Linguini's soup.

_________________________________

They are asking for food from Linguini?
_________________________________

A lot of customers like the soup.
That's all we are saying.

_________________________________

Were we saying that?
_________________________________

Very well. If it's Linguini they want
_________________________________

tell them Chef Linguini has prepared
something special for them.

_________________________________

Something definitely off menu.

_________________________________

Oh, and don't forget to stress
_________________________________

-its Linguini-ness.

-Oui, chef.

_________________________________

Now is your chance to try something
worthy of your talent, Linguini.

_________________________________

A forgotten favorite of the chef's,
sweetbread a la Gusteau.

_________________________________

-Colette will help you.

-Oui, chef.

_________________________________

Now, hurry up. Our diners are hungry.

_________________________________

Are you sure?
That recipe was a disaster.

_________________________________

Gusteau himself said so.

_________________________________

Just the sort of challenge
a budding chef needs.

_________________________________

"Sweetbread á la Gusteau.

_________________________________

"Sweetbread cooked
in a seaweed salt crust
_________________________________

"with cuttlefish tentacle,
dog rose puree,
_________________________________

"geoduck egg, dried white fungus?
_________________________________

"Anchovy licorice sauce."
_________________________________

I don't know this recipe,
but it's Gusteau's, so...

_________________________________

Lalo! We have
some veal stomach soaking, yes?
_________________________________

LALO: Yes!
The veal stomach, I get that.

_________________________________

Veal stomach?
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

I'll be right back. Where...

_________________________________

Hey, I got to... Hey!
_________________________________

Don't mind me.
I just need to borrow this real quick.

_________________________________

Let's see, over here...
_________________________________

I'll be back.

_________________________________

Thank you.

_________________________________

Excuse me. I'm going to...

_________________________________

Apparently, I need this. I'll be right...

_________________________________

I'm going to pick that up.

_________________________________

I got some of that spice.

_________________________________

Okay.
_________________________________

What are you doing? You're supposed
_________________________________

to be preparing the Gusteau recipe.

_________________________________

(STUTTERING)
This is the recipe.

_________________________________

The recipe doesn't call
for white truffle oil!
_________________________________

What else have you...
You are improvising?
_________________________________

This is no time to experiment.
The customer are waiting.

_________________________________

You're right. I should listen to you!
_________________________________

-Stop that!

-Stop what?
_________________________________

Freaking me out!
Whatever you are doing, stop it.

_________________________________

-HORST: Where is the special or?

-Coming!
_________________________________
-I thought we were together on this.

-We are together.

_________________________________

-Then what are you doing?

-It's very hard to explain.

_________________________________

-The special?

-Come get it!
_________________________________

Whoa, whoa.
I forgot the anchovy licorice sauce.

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)

_________________________________
(GASPING)
_________________________________

-Don't you dare.

-I'm not, I'm not. I'm...

_________________________________

Sorry.

_________________________________

Is Linguini's dish done yet?
_________________________________

Ja. It's as bad as we remember.
Just went out.

_________________________________

-Did you taste it?

-Ja, of course, before he changed it.

_________________________________

Good. What? How could he change it?
_________________________________

He changed it
as it was going out the door!

_________________________________
Ow!
_________________________________

They love it!
_________________________________

Other diners are already
asking about it, about Linguini.

_________________________________

I have seven more orders!
_________________________________

That's wonderful.
_________________________________

I'd like one of those.

_________________________________

Special order!
_________________________________

What is that?
_________________________________

HORST: Special order! Special order!
Special order!
_________________________________

ALL: To Linguini.

_________________________________

-Congratulations, Mr. Linguini.

-Cheers, ja?

_________________________________
LAROUSSE: Drink now, there's plenty.

_________________________________

Take a break, Little Chef. Get some air.

_________________________________

We really did it tonight.

_________________________________

Dah!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Got your toque!
_________________________________

Oh, seriously now.

_________________________________

I'd love to have a little talk with you,
Linguini, in my office.

_________________________________

-Am I in trouble?

-Trouble? No.

_________________________________

A little wine, a friendly chat.
Just us cooks.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING GRACIOUSLY)
_________________________________

The plongeur won't be coming to you
for advice anymore, eh, Colette?

_________________________________
He's gotten all he needs.

_________________________________

(SNICKERING)
_________________________________

Toasting your success, eh, Linguini?
_________________________________

Good for you.

_________________________________

I just took it to be polite.
I don't really drink, you know.

_________________________________

Of course you don't.
I wouldn't either if I was drinking that.

_________________________________

But you would have to be an idiot
of elephantine proportions
_________________________________

not to appreciate
this '61 Chateau Latour.

_________________________________

And you, Monsieur Linguini,
are no idiot.

_________________________________

Let us toast your non-idiocy.

_________________________________

(SLURPING)
_________________________________

(CLATTERING)
_________________________________

-Remy!

-Emile?
_________________________________

I can't believe it! You're alive!
_________________________________

-You made it!

-I thought I'd never see you guys again!
_________________________________

We figured
you didn't survive the rapids.

_________________________________

And what are you eating?
_________________________________

I don't really know.

_________________________________

I think it was
some sort of wrapper once.

_________________________________

What? No.
You're in Paris now, baby. My town.

_________________________________

No brother of mine eats rejectamenta
in my town.

_________________________________

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Remy! You are stealing?
You told Linguini he could trust you.

_________________________________

-And he can. It's for my brother.

-But the boy could lose his job.

_________________________________

Which means I would, too.
It's under control, okay?
_________________________________

-More wine?

-I shouldn't, but... Okay.

_________________________________

So, where did you train, Linguini?
_________________________________

Train? All right.

_________________________________

Surely you don't expect me to believe
this is your first time cooking?
_________________________________

-It's not.

-I knew it!
_________________________________

It's my... Second, third, fourth...
Fifth time.

_________________________________

Monday was my first time.

_________________________________

But I've taken out the garbage
lots of times before that...

_________________________________

Yes, yes. Have some more wine.

_________________________________

Tell me, Linguini, about your interests.

_________________________________

Do you like animals?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) What?
Animals? What kind?
_________________________________

The usual, dogs, cats, horses,
guinea pigs,

_________________________________
rats.

_________________________________

I brought you something to...

_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

No, no, no, no!
_________________________________

Spit that out right now!
_________________________________

I have got to teach you about food.
_________________________________
Close your eyes.
Now take a bite of...

_________________________________
No! No! No!
_________________________________

-Don't just hork it down!

-Too late.

_________________________________

Here.

_________________________________

Chew it slowly.
Only think about the taste.

_________________________________

-See?

-Not really.

_________________________________

Creamy, salty sweet,
an oaky nuttiness.

_________________________________

-You detect that?

-Oh, I'm detecting nuttiness.

_________________________________

Close your eyes. Now taste this.

_________________________________

Whole different thing, right?
Sweet, crisp, slight tang on the finish.

_________________________________

-Okay.

-Now, try them together.

_________________________________

Okay.

_________________________________

I think I'm getting
a little something there.

_________________________________

-It might be the nuttiness.

-See?
_________________________________

-Could be the tang.

-That's it.

_________________________________

Now, imagine every great taste
in the world
_________________________________

being combined
into infinite combinations.

_________________________________

Tastes that no one has tried yet!
Discoveries to be made!
_________________________________

I think...

_________________________________

Uh-huh.

_________________________________

-You lost me again.

-(GROANING) Yeah.

_________________________________

But that was interesting.

_________________________________

Most interesting garbage I ever...
Hey! What are we doing?
_________________________________

Dad doesn't know you're alive yet!
_________________________________

We've got to go to the colony!
Everyone will be thrilled!
_________________________________

-Yeah! But...

-What?
_________________________________

Thing is, I kind of have to...

_________________________________

What do you "have to"
more than family?
_________________________________

What's more important here?
_________________________________

Well, I...

_________________________________

It wouldn't hurt to visit.

_________________________________

-Have you had a pet rat?

-No.

_________________________________

-Did you work in a lab with rats?

-No.

_________________________________

Perhaps you lived in squalor
at some point?
_________________________________

Nopety nopety no.

_________________________________

You know something about rats!
You know you do!
_________________________________

You know who know do whacka-doo.
Ratta-tatta.
_________________________________

-Hey! Why do they call it that?

-What?
_________________________________

Ratatouille. It's like a stew, right?
Why do they call it that?
_________________________________

If you're going to name a food,
_________________________________

you should give it a name
that sounds delicious.

_________________________________

Ratatouille doesn't sound delicious.
It sounds like "rat" and "patootie."
_________________________________

Rat patootie.
Which does not sound delicious.

_________________________________

Regrettably we are all out of wine.

_________________________________

My son has returned!
_________________________________

(ALL CHEERING)

_________________________________

And finding someone to replace you
for poison checker has been a disaster.

_________________________________

Nothing's been poisoned, thank God,
but it hasn't been easy.

_________________________________

-You didn't make it easy.

-I know. I am sorry, Dad.

_________________________________

Well, the important thing
is that you're home.

_________________________________

(STUTTERING) Yeah, well, about that...

_________________________________

You look thin. Why is that?
_________________________________

A shortage of food,
or a surplus of snobbery?
_________________________________

It's tough out there in the big world
all alone, isn't it?
_________________________________

Sure, but it's not like I'm a kid anymore.

_________________________________

-Hey. Hey, boy. What's up?

-I can take care of myself.

_________________________________

I've found a nice spot not far away,
so I'll be able to visit often.

_________________________________

Nothing like a cold splash of reality
to make you...

_________________________________

-Visit?

-I will. I promise. Often.

_________________________________

-You're not staying?

-No. It's not a big deal, Dad. I just...

_________________________________

You didn't think
I was going to stay forever, did you?

_________________________________
Eventually,
a bird's got to leave the nest.

_________________________________

We're not birds. We're rats.

_________________________________

We don't leave our nests.
We make them bigger.

_________________________________

-Well, maybe I'm a different kind of rat.

-Maybe you're not a rat at all.

_________________________________

Maybe that's a good thing.

_________________________________

Hey! The band's
really on tonight, huh?
_________________________________

Rats. All we do is take, Dad.

_________________________________

I'm tired of taking.
I want to make things.

_________________________________

I want to add something to this world.

_________________________________

-You're talking like a human.

-Who are not as bad as you say.

_________________________________

-Oh, yeah? What makes you so s?

-Oh, man.

_________________________________

(HESITANTLY) I've been able to
observe them
_________________________________

at a close-ish sort of range.

_________________________________

-Yeah? How close?

-Close enough.

_________________________________

And they're, you know,
not so bad as you say they are.

_________________________________

Come with me.
I got something I want you to see.

_________________________________

You know, I'm going to stay here.

_________________________________

Make sure the floors and countertops
are clean before you lock up.

_________________________________

Wait. You want me to stay and clean?
_________________________________

Is that a problem?
_________________________________

-No.

-Good boy. See you tomorrow.

_________________________________

(SIGHING)
_________________________________

We're here.

_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

Take a good long look, Remy.

_________________________________

Now, this is what happens
_________________________________

when a rat gets
a little too comfortable around humans.

_________________________________

The world we live in
belongs to the enemy.

_________________________________

We must live carefully.

_________________________________

We look out for our own kind, Remy.

_________________________________

When all is said and done,
we're all we've got.

_________________________________

-No.

-What?
_________________________________

No. Dad, I don't believe it.
You're telling me that the future is...

_________________________________

Can only be more of this?
_________________________________

This is the way things are.
You can't change nature.

_________________________________

Change is nature, Dad.
The part that we can influence.

_________________________________

And it starts when we decide.

_________________________________

-Where you going?

-With luck, forward.
_________________________________

Hey! Yeah.

_________________________________

(SNORING)
_________________________________

(SNORING)
_________________________________

(VEHICLE ARRIVING)
_________________________________

(MOANING)
_________________________________

(LINGUINI MOANS)
_________________________________

(SLEEPILY) Stop it.

_________________________________

(RATTLING OUTSIDE)
_________________________________

(DEEP BREATH)
_________________________________

Good morning.

_________________________________

(CLEARING THROAT)
_________________________________

Good morning.

_________________________________

So, the chef,
he invited you in for a drink?
_________________________________

That's big.

_________________________________

That's big. What did he say?
_________________________________

What?
_________________________________

What, you can't tell me?
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Forgive me for intruding on your deep,
personal relationship with the chef.

_________________________________

Oh, I see how it is.

_________________________________

You get me to teach you
a few kitchen tricks
_________________________________

to dazzle the boss
and then you blow past me?
_________________________________

Wake up. Wake up.

_________________________________

I thought you were different.

_________________________________

I thought you thought I was different.

_________________________________

I thought...

_________________________________

(SNORING)
_________________________________

I didn't have to help you!
_________________________________

If I looked out only for myself,
I would have let you drown!

_________________________________
But...

_________________________________

I wanted you to succeed. I liked you.

_________________________________

My mistake.

_________________________________

Colette. Wait, wait. Colette!
_________________________________

It's over, Little Chef.
I can't do it anymore.

_________________________________

Colette! Wait, wait!
Don't motorcycle away.

_________________________________

Look, I'm no good with words.
I'm no good with food either.

_________________________________

At least not without your help.

_________________________________

I hate false modesty.
It's just another way to lie.

_________________________________

-(SIGHS) You have talent.

-No, but I don't! Really! It's not me.

_________________________________

When I added that extra ingredient
_________________________________

instead of following the recipe
like you said,
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
that wasn't me either.

_________________________________

-What do you mean?

-I mean, I wouldn't have done that.

_________________________________

I would've followed the recipe.

_________________________________

I would've followed your advice.

_________________________________

I would've followed your advice
to the ends of the earth.

_________________________________

-Because I love your advice.

-But...

_________________________________

But I...

_________________________________

Don't do it.

_________________________________

I have a secret. It's sort of disturbing.

_________________________________

(TITTERING)
_________________________________

-I have a...

-(STUTTERING) What? You...

_________________________________

-I have a ra...

-You have a rash?
_________________________________

No, no, no. I have this...
This tiny little...

_________________________________

Little...

_________________________________

(SPEAKING QUICKLY) A tiny chef
who tells me what to do.

_________________________________

(IN DISBELIEF) A tiny chef?
_________________________________

Yes. Yes. He's...

_________________________________

-He's up here.

-In your brain?
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Why is it so hard to talk to you?
Okay. Here we go.

_________________________________

You inspire me. I'm going to risk it all.

_________________________________

I'm going to risk looking like the
biggest idiot psycho you've ever seen.

_________________________________

You want to know why
I'm such a fast learner?
_________________________________

You want to know why
I'm such a great cook?
_________________________________

Don't laugh! I'm going to show you!
_________________________________

No! No!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)

_________________________________

(TYPEWRITER CLICKING)

_________________________________
-What is it, Ambrister?

-Gusteau's.

_________________________________

-Finally closing, is it?

-No.

_________________________________

-More financial trouble?

-No, it's...
_________________________________

Announced a new line
of microwave egg rolls?
_________________________________

What? What? Spit it out.

_________________________________

(STUTTERING)
It's come back. It's popular.

_________________________________

-I haven't reviewed Gusteau's in years.

-No, sir.

_________________________________

My last review condemned it
_________________________________

-to the tourist trade.

-Yes, sir.

_________________________________

I said, "Gusteau has finally
found his rightful place in history
_________________________________

"right alongside
another equally famous chef,

_________________________________
(IN DISGUST) "Monsieur Boyardee."
_________________________________

Touché.

_________________________________

That is where I left it.
That was my last word.

_________________________________

-The last word.

-Yes.

_________________________________

Then tell me, Ambrister,
_________________________________

how could it be popular?
_________________________________

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
_________________________________

The DNA matches, the timing works,
everything checks out.

_________________________________

He is Gusteau's son.

_________________________________

This can't just happen!
The whole thing is a setup!
_________________________________

The boy knows!
_________________________________

Look at him out there,
pretending to be an idiot.

_________________________________

He's toying with my mind
like a cat with a ball of... Something.

_________________________________

-String?

-Yes! Playing dumb.

_________________________________

-Taunting me with that rat.

-Rat?
_________________________________

Yes. He's consorting with it.

_________________________________

Deliberately trying to make me think
it's important.

_________________________________

-The rat.

-Exactly!
_________________________________

Is the rat important?
_________________________________

Of course not!
He just wants me to think that it is.

_________________________________

Oh, I see the theatricality of it.

_________________________________

A rat appears on the boy's first night,
I order him to kill it.

_________________________________

And now he wants me
to see it everywhere.

_________________________________

(EXCITEDLY) Ooh!
_________________________________

It's here! No, it isn't, it's here!
_________________________________

Am I seeing things, am I crazy?
Is there a phantom rat or is there not?
_________________________________

But, oh, no!
_________________________________

I refuse to be sucked into
his little game of...

_________________________________

Should I be concerned about this?
About you?
_________________________________

(SIGHING)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

I can't fire him. He's getting attention.

_________________________________

If I fire him now,
everyone will wonder why.

_________________________________

And the last thing I want
is people looking into this.

_________________________________

What are you so worried about?
_________________________________

Isn't it good to have the press?
_________________________________

Isn't it good to have Gusteau's name
getting headlines?
_________________________________

Not if they're over his face!
_________________________________

Gusteau's already has a face,
and it's fat and lovable and familiar.

_________________________________

And it sells burritos!
Millions and millions of burritos!

_________________________________
The deadline passes in three days.

_________________________________

Then you can fire him
whenever he ceases to be valuable

_________________________________
and no one will ever know.

_________________________________

I was worried
about the hair sample you gave me.

_________________________________

-I had to send them back to the lab.

-Why?
_________________________________

Because the first time it came back
identified as rodent hair.

_________________________________

-No, no, no.

-LINGUINI: What?

_________________________________
Try this. It's better.

_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(SIGHING)
_________________________________

Well, because you...

_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(LINGUINI LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
_________________________________

Rat!
_________________________________

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
_________________________________

WOMAN: Disgusting little creatures.

_________________________________

REMY: I was reminded
how fragile it all was.
_________________________________

How the world really saw me.

_________________________________
And it just kept getting better.

_________________________________
EMILE: Remy!
_________________________________

Psst! Psst!
_________________________________

Hey, hey, hey, little brother!
_________________________________

We were afraid you weren't going to,
you know, show up.

_________________________________

-Hey, Remy! How you doing?

-You told them?
_________________________________

Emile,
that's exactly what I said not to do!
_________________________________

But you know these guys.
They're my friends.

_________________________________

I didn't think you meant them.

_________________________________

(GROANING) Look, I'm sorry.

_________________________________

Don't tell me you're sorry,
tell them you're sorry.

_________________________________

-Is there a problem over here?

-No, there is not.

_________________________________

Wait here.

_________________________________

It's locked?
_________________________________

Hmm...

_________________________________

Remy, what are you doing in here?
_________________________________

Okay. Emile shows up with...

_________________________________

Okay, I said not to. I told him...
He goes and blabs to...

_________________________________

Yeah, it's a disaster.

_________________________________

Anyway, they're hungry, the food safe
is locked and I need the key.

_________________________________

-They want you to steal food?

-Yes. No! It's...

_________________________________

It's complicated. It's family.
They don't have your ideals.

_________________________________

(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT) Ideals?
If Chef Fancy Pants had any ideals,
_________________________________

you think I'd be hawking barbecue
over here?
_________________________________

(IN MEXICAN ACCENT)
Or microwave burritos?
_________________________________

Or, Tooth, I say,
Tooth Pick'n Chicken?
_________________________________

About as French as a corn dog!
_________________________________

(BARKING) Coming soon!
_________________________________

We're inventing new ways
to sell out over here.

_________________________________

(IN SCOTTISH ACCENT)
Will ye be wanting some haggis bites?
_________________________________

I cannot control
how they use my image, Remy.

_________________________________

-I am dead!

-Can you guys shut up?
_________________________________

I've got to think! Word's getting out.
If I can't keep them quiet,
_________________________________

the entire clan's gonna be after me
with their mouths open and...

_________________________________

Here it is.

_________________________________

Hey. Your will!
_________________________________

-Oh, this is interesting. Mind if I...

-Not at all.

_________________________________

Linguini?
_________________________________

Why would Linguini be filed
with your will?
_________________________________

This used to be my office.

_________________________________

He's your son?
_________________________________

-I have a son?

-How could you not know this?
_________________________________

I am a figment of your imagination.
You did not know, how could I?
_________________________________

Well, your son is the rightful owner
of this restaurant!
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

No! No! The rat!
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

-Sorry, chef.

-The rat! It's stolen my documents!

_________________________________
-It's getting away!

-LALO: Hey, Mr. Chef!

_________________________________
(HORN BLARING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)

_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(GASPS) You!
_________________________________

-Get out of my office.

-He's not in your office. You are in his.

_________________________________

Bottoms up, Linguini!
_________________________________

(LE FESTIN PLAYING)
_________________________________

HORST: Cheers, ja.
_________________________________

(ALL CHUCKLING)

_________________________________
(GRUMBLING)
_________________________________

(HORST EXCLAIMING
ANGRILY)
_________________________________

REPORTER 1: Chef! Chef!

REPORTER 2: Chef Linguini!
_________________________________

(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
_________________________________

Your rise has been meteoric,
yet you have no formal training.

_________________________________

What is the secret to your genius?
_________________________________

LINGUINI: Secret? You want the truth?
_________________________________

(HESITANTLY) I am Gusteau's son.
It's in my blood I guess.

_________________________________

FEMALE REPORTER: But you weren't
aware of that fact until very recently.

_________________________________

No.

_________________________________

MALE REPORTER: And it resulted in
your taking ownership of this restaurant.

_________________________________

How did you find out?
_________________________________

Well, some part of me just knew.

_________________________________

The Gusteau part?
_________________________________

-Where do you get your inspiration?

-Inspiration has many names.

_________________________________

-Mine is named Colette.

-What?
_________________________________

(REMY SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Something's stuck in my teeth.

_________________________________

(RINGING)
_________________________________

Health Inspector.

_________________________________

I wish to report a rat infestation.

_________________________________

It's taken over my...

_________________________________

(STAMMERING) Gusteau's restaurant.

_________________________________

Gusteau's, eh?
_________________________________

I can drop by. Let's see.
First opening is three months.

_________________________________

It must happen now!
It's a gourmet restaurant!
_________________________________

Monsieur, I have the information.
If someone cancels, I'll slot you in.

_________________________________

(STAMMERING) But the rat!
You must...

_________________________________

(DIAL TONE DRONING)
_________________________________

It stole my documents.

_________________________________

It's past opening time.

_________________________________

(GROANING) He should have
finished an hour ago.

_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Bonjour, ma cherie.
Join us.

_________________________________

We were just talking
about my inspiration.

_________________________________

Yes, he calls it his tiny chef.

_________________________________

(SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Not that, dearest. I meant you.

_________________________________

(DOOR OPENING)
_________________________________

(REPORTERS GASPING)
_________________________________

-It's him.

-Ego?
_________________________________

Anton Ego!
_________________________________

REPORTER: Is that Ego?
_________________________________

I can't believe it.

_________________________________

-You are Monsieur Linguini?

-Hello.

_________________________________

Pardon me for interrupting
your premature celebration,
_________________________________

but I thought it only fair
to give you a sporting chance
_________________________________

as you are new to this game.

_________________________________

-Game?

-Yes.

_________________________________

And you've been playing
without an opponent.

_________________________________

Which is, as you may have guessed,
against the rules.

_________________________________

You're Anton Ego.

_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

You're slow
for someone in the fast lane.

_________________________________

(PEOPLE GASPING)
_________________________________

And you're thin
for someone who likes food.

_________________________________

(ALL GASPING IN SHOCK)
_________________________________

I don't like food. I love it.

_________________________________

If I don't love it, I don't swallow.

_________________________________

(GULPING)
_________________________________

I will return tomorrow night
with high expectations.

_________________________________

Pray you don't disappoint me.

_________________________________

(REPORTERS MURMURING)
_________________________________

Listen, we hate to be rude,
but we're French, and it's dinnertime.

_________________________________

She meant to say,
"It's dinnertime and we're French."

_________________________________
Don't give me that look.

_________________________________

You were distracting me
in front of the press.

_________________________________

How am I supposed to concentrate with
you yanking on my hair all the time?

_________________________________
And that's another thing.

_________________________________

Your opinion isn't the only one
that matters here.

_________________________________

Colette knows how to cook, too,
you know.

_________________________________

All right, that's it!
_________________________________

You take a break, Little Chef.

_________________________________

I'm not your puppet,
_________________________________

and you're not
my puppet-controlling guy!

_________________________________
(GASPS) The rat is the cook.

_________________________________

You cool off and get your mind right,
Little Chef.

_________________________________

Ego is coming, and I need to focus!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

You stupid...

_________________________________

(GRUMBLING ANGRILY)
_________________________________

Wow. I have never seen that before.

_________________________________

Yeah, it's like you're his fluffy bunny
or something.

_________________________________

(RATS LAUGHING)
_________________________________

EMILE: I'm sorry, Remy.

_________________________________

I know there are too many guys.

_________________________________

-I tried to limit...

-You know what?
_________________________________

It's okay. I've been selfish.

_________________________________

-You guys hungry?

-Are you kidding?
_________________________________

All right. Dinner's on me.
We'll go after closing time.

_________________________________

-In fact...

-Yeah.

_________________________________

...tell Dad to bring the whole clan.

_________________________________

Little Chef?
_________________________________

This is great, Son.
An inside job. I see the appeal.

_________________________________

(SHUSHING)

_________________________________

(CLICKS TONGUE)
_________________________________

Oof!
_________________________________

(BECKONS)
_________________________________

(KEYS JINGLING)
_________________________________

(ALL GASP)
_________________________________

Little Chef?
_________________________________

Little Chef?
_________________________________

Hey, Little Chef.

_________________________________

I thought you went back
to the apartment.

_________________________________

Then when you weren't there,
I don't know...

_________________________________

It didn't seem right to leave things
the way that we did, so...

_________________________________

Look, I don't want to fight.

_________________________________

I've been under a lot of, you know,
pressure.

_________________________________

A lot has changed
in not very much time, you know?

_________________________________
I'm suddenly a Gusteau.

_________________________________

And I got to be a Gusteau or, you know,
_________________________________

people will be disappointed.

_________________________________

It's weird.

_________________________________

You know, I've never
disappointed anyone before,
_________________________________

because nobody's
ever expected anything of me.

_________________________________

And the only reason
anyone expects anything from me now

_________________________________
is because of you.

_________________________________

I haven't been fair to you.

_________________________________

You've never failed me,
and I should never forget that.

_________________________________

You've been a good friend.

_________________________________

The most honorable friend
a guy could ever ask...

_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

What is this?
_________________________________

What's going on?
_________________________________

What...

_________________________________

Hey...

_________________________________

(STUTTERING) You're...

_________________________________

You're stealing food? How could you?
_________________________________

I thought you were my friend!
I trusted you!
_________________________________

Get out! You and all your rat buddies!
_________________________________

And don't come back
_________________________________

or I'll treat you the way restaurants
are supposed to treat pests!
_________________________________

You're right, Dad. Who am I kidding?
_________________________________

We are what we are, and we're rats.
_________________________________

Well, he'll leave soon,
and now you know how to get in.

_________________________________

Steal all you want.

_________________________________

-You're not coming?

-I've lost my appetite.

_________________________________

Do you know
what you would like this evening, sir?

_________________________________
Yes,
I'd like your heart roasted on a spit.

_________________________________

(ANTON SNICKERING)

_________________________________
(ANTON SNICKERING)
_________________________________

(EXCLAIMS)
_________________________________

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
_________________________________

Come in!
_________________________________

Today's the big day.
You should say something to them.

_________________________________

-Like what?

-You are the boss. Inspire them.

_________________________________

(MEEKLY) Attention.

_________________________________

(MORE CONFIDENTLY)
Attention, everyone.

_________________________________

Tonight is a big night.

_________________________________

Appetite is coming,
and he's going to have a big ego.

_________________________________

I mean, Ego. He's coming. The critic.

_________________________________

And he's going to order something.

_________________________________

Something from our menu.

_________________________________

And we'll have to cook it,
unless he orders something cold.

_________________________________

EMILE: Just can't leave it alone,
can you?
_________________________________

You really shouldn't be here
during restaurant hours. It's not safe.

_________________________________

I'm hungry!
_________________________________

And I don't need the inside food
to be happy.

_________________________________

The key, my friend, is to not be picky.

_________________________________

-Observe.

-No, wait!
_________________________________

-Oh, no! No, no! What do we do?

-(STUTTERING) I'll go get Dad.

_________________________________

(SNICKERING)
_________________________________

You might think you are a chef
but you are still only a rat.

_________________________________

Sure he took away a star
last time he reviewed this place.

_________________________________

Sure it probably killed... Dad.

_________________________________

-This is very bad juju right here.

-But I'll tell you one thing...

_________________________________

-Ego is here.

-Ego? He is here?
_________________________________

Anton Ego is just another customer.
Let's cook!

_________________________________
Yeah! Let's...

_________________________________

Okay.

_________________________________

So I have in mind
a simple arrangement.

_________________________________

You will create for me a new line
of Chef Skinner frozen foods.

_________________________________

And I, in return, will not kill you.

_________________________________

(SNICKERING)

_________________________________
Au revoir, rat!
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Do you know
what you would like this evening, sir?

_________________________________
Yes, I think I do.

_________________________________

After reading a lot of overheated
puffery about your new cook,

_________________________________
you know what I'm craving?
_________________________________

A little perspective.

_________________________________

That's it. I'd like some fresh, clear,
well seasoned perspective.

_________________________________

Can you suggest
a good wine to go with that?

_________________________________
-With what, sir?

-Perspective. Fresh out, I take it?

_________________________________
I am...

_________________________________

Very well.
Since you're all out of perspective
_________________________________

and no one else
seems to have it in this bloody town,

_________________________________
I'll make you a deal.

_________________________________

You provide the food,
I'll provide the perspective.

_________________________________

Which would go nicely
with a bottle of Cheval Blanc 1947.

_________________________________

I'm afraid I...

_________________________________

Your dinner selection?
_________________________________

Tell your Chef Linguini that I want
whatever he dares to serve me.

_________________________________

Tell him to hit me with his best shot.

_________________________________

I will have whatever he is having.

_________________________________

-So, we have given up.

-Why do you say that?
_________________________________

We are in a cage inside the car trunk
_________________________________

awaiting a future
in frozen food products.

_________________________________

No, I'm the one in a cage. I've given up.
_________________________________

You are free.

_________________________________

I am only as free
as you imagine me to be.

_________________________________

As you are.

_________________________________

Oh, please. I'm sick of pretending.
I pretend to be a rat for my father.

_________________________________

I pretend to be a human
through Linguini.

_________________________________

I pretend you exist
so I have someone to talk to!
_________________________________

You only tell me stuff I already know!
_________________________________

I know who I am!
Why do I need you to tell me?

_________________________________
Why do I need to pretend?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

But you don't, Remy.

_________________________________

You never did.

_________________________________

(CRASHING)
_________________________________

No. My other left!
_________________________________

REMY: (MUFFLED)
Dad? Dad, I'm in here!
_________________________________

I'm inside the trunk! What the...

_________________________________

Dad!
_________________________________

-Hey, little brother!

-Emile!
_________________________________

I love you guys!
_________________________________

Where are you going?
_________________________________

Back to the restaurant.
They'll fail without me.

_________________________________

-Why do you care?

-Because I'm a cook!
_________________________________

(STAFF CLAMORING)
_________________________________

It's your recipe.

_________________________________

How can you not know
your own recipe?
_________________________________

I didn't write it down. It just came to me.

_________________________________

Then make it come to you again, ja?
Because we can't serve this!
_________________________________

Where's my order?
_________________________________

Can't we serve something else?
Something I didn't invent?
_________________________________

This is what they're ordering.

_________________________________

Make them order something else.
Tell them we're all out.

_________________________________

We cannot be all out. We just opened.

_________________________________

I have another idea.
What if we serve them what they order!

_________________________________
We will make it.
Just tell us what you did.

_________________________________

I don't know what I did.

_________________________________

We need to tell
the customers something.

_________________________________

Then tell them... Tell them...

_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

Huh?
_________________________________

-Don't do it.

-Remy. Remy.

_________________________________

EMILE: Don't! Stop!
They'll see you. Stop.

_________________________________

We're not talking about me.
We're talking about what to do right...

_________________________________

Rats!
_________________________________

-Remy!

-Get my knife.

_________________________________

Don't touch him!
_________________________________

(WHISPERING)
Thanks for coming back, Little Chef.

_________________________________

I know this sounds insane, but...

_________________________________

Well,
the truth sounds insane sometimes.

_________________________________

But that doesn't mean it's not
_________________________________

(STAMMERING) the truth.

_________________________________

And the truth is, I have no talent at all.

_________________________________

But this rat,
he's the one behind these recipes.

_________________________________

He's the cook. The real cook.
He's been hiding under my toque.

_________________________________

He's been controlling my actions.

_________________________________

(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________

He's the reason I can cook the food
that's exciting everyone.

_________________________________

The reason Ego is outside that door.

_________________________________

You've been giving me credit
for his gift.

_________________________________

I know it's a hard thing to believe.

_________________________________

But, hey, you believed I could cook,
right?
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Look, this works.
It's crazy, but it works.

_________________________________

We can be
the greatest restaurant in Paris,
_________________________________

and this rat, this brilliant Little Chef,
can lead us there.

_________________________________

What do you say? You with me?
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(MOTORCYCLE STARTING)
_________________________________

(GROANS)
_________________________________

(HORN BLARING)
_________________________________

(TIRES SKIDDING)
_________________________________

(HORNS HONKING)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

Dad.

_________________________________

Dad, I don't know what to say.

_________________________________

I was wrong about your friend
and about you.

_________________________________

I don't want you to think
I'm choosing this over family.

_________________________________

I can't choose
between two halves of myself.

_________________________________

I'm not talking about cooking.
I'm talking about guts.

_________________________________

This really means that much to you?
_________________________________

(WHISTLES)
_________________________________

(ALL CHATTERING)
_________________________________

We're not cooks, but we are family.

_________________________________

You tell us what to do,
and we'll get it done.

_________________________________

-Stop that health inspector!

-Delta Team, go, go, go, go!
_________________________________

The rest of you stay and help Remy.

_________________________________

(ELECTRIC ENGINE WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(ENGINE STARTS)
_________________________________

Team three will be handling fish.
Team four, roasted items.

_________________________________

Team five, grill. Team six, sauces.
Get to your stations. Let's go, go, go!
_________________________________

Those handling food
will walk on two legs.

_________________________________

We need someone to wait tables.

_________________________________

I'm sorry for any delay,
but we're a little short tonight.

_________________________________

Please, take all of the time you need.

_________________________________

He came in late one more time
and all of a sudden he...

_________________________________

REMY: Make sure that steak
is nice and tenderized.

_________________________________

Work it. Yeah. Stick and move.
Stick and move.

_________________________________

Easy with that sole meuniere.
Less salt. More butter.

_________________________________

Only use the mimolette cheese.

_________________________________

Whoa! Compose the salad
like you were painting a picture.

_________________________________

Not too much vinaigrette
on that salade composee.

_________________________________

Don't let that beurre blanc separate.
Keep whisking.

_________________________________

Gently poach the scallops.
Taste check. Spoons down.

_________________________________

Good. Too much salt. Good.

_________________________________

Don't boil the consommé,
it'll toughen the pheasant. Emile!
_________________________________

Sorry.

_________________________________

Colette, wait! Colette.

_________________________________

-You came back. Colette...

-Don't say a word.

_________________________________

If I think about it,
I might change my mind.

_________________________________

Just tell me what the rat wants to cook.

_________________________________

Ratatouille? It's a peasant dish.

_________________________________

Are you sure
you want to serve this to Ego?

_________________________________
(DISHWARE SHATTERING)
_________________________________

(MUFFLED EXCLAIMING)
_________________________________

What? I am making ratatouille.

_________________________________

(SCOFFS)
_________________________________

Well, how would you prepare it?
_________________________________

Ratatouille? They must be joking.

_________________________________

(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________

(SNIFFLING)
_________________________________

(THUDDING)
_________________________________

Mmm.

_________________________________

No, it can't be.

_________________________________

Who cooked the ratatouille?
I demand to know!

_________________________________
(GASPING)
_________________________________

(CLATTERING)
_________________________________

(MUFFLED GROANING)
_________________________________

I can't remember the last time
_________________________________

I asked a waiter
to give my compliments to the chef.

_________________________________

And now I find myself
in the extraordinary position

_________________________________
of having my waiter be the chef.

_________________________________

Thanks, but I'm just your waiter tonight.

_________________________________

Then who do I thank for the meal?

_________________________________
Excuse me a minute.

_________________________________

(MUFFLED ARGUING)
_________________________________

You must be the chef...

_________________________________

If you wish to meet the chef,
you will have to wait
_________________________________

until all the other customer have gone.

_________________________________

So be it.

_________________________________

REMY: At first, Ego thinks it's a joke.
_________________________________

But as Linguini explains,
Ego's smile disappears.

_________________________________
(RATS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

He doesn't react
beyond asking an occasional question.
_________________________________

And when the story is done,
Ego stands, thanks us for the meal...
_________________________________

Thank you for the meal.

_________________________________

...and leaves without another word.
_________________________________

The following day his review appears.

_________________________________
EGO: In many ways,
the work of a critic is easy.
_________________________________

We risk very little,
yet enjoy a position over those
_________________________________

who offer up their work
and their selves to our judgment.
_________________________________

We thrive on negative criticism,
which is fun to write and to read.
_________________________________

But the bitter truth we critics must face
is that in the grand scheme of things,
_________________________________

the average piece of junk
is probably more meaningful
_________________________________

than our criticism designating it so.
_________________________________

But there are times
when a critic truly risks something
_________________________________

and that is in the discovery
and defense of the new.
_________________________________

The world is often unkind
to new talent, new creations.
_________________________________

The new needs friends.
_________________________________

Last night,
I experienced something new,
_________________________________

an extraordinary meal
from a singularly unexpected source.
_________________________________

To say that both the meal
and its maker
_________________________________

have challenged my preconceptions
about fine cooking
_________________________________

is a gross understatement.
_________________________________

They have rocked me to my core.
_________________________________

In the past, I have made no secret
of my disdain
_________________________________

for Chef Gusteau's famous motto,
"Anyone can cook."
_________________________________

But I realize only now
do I truly understand what he meant.
_________________________________

Not everyone
can become a great artist,
_________________________________

but a great artist
can come from anywhere.
_________________________________

It is difficult to imagine
more humble origins
_________________________________

than those of the genius
now cooking at Gusteau's,
_________________________________

who is, in this critic's opinion,
_________________________________

nothing less
than the finest chef in France.
_________________________________

I will be returning to Gusteau's soon,
hungry for more.
_________________________________

REMY: It was a great night.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLING) The happiest of my life.
_________________________________

But the only thing predictable
about life is its unpredictability.
_________________________________

Well, we had to let Skinner
and the health inspector loose,
_________________________________

and of course they ratted us out.
_________________________________

The food didn't matter.
_________________________________

Once it got out
there were rats in the kitchen,
_________________________________

oh, man, the restaurant was closed
_________________________________

and Ego lost his job and his credibility.

_________________________________

But don't feel too bad for him.

_________________________________

He's doing very well
as a small business investor.

_________________________________

-He seems very happy.

-How do you know?
_________________________________

(LE FESTIN PLAYING)
_________________________________

Got to go. Dinner rush.

_________________________________

You know how he likes it.

_________________________________

Thanks, Little Chef.

_________________________________

Can I interest you
in a dessert this evening?

_________________________________
-Don't you always?

-Which one would you like?

_________________________________
Surprise me.

_________________________________

Can I interest you
in a dessert this evening?
_________________________________

(RATS CHUCKLING)
_________________________________

Hey, believe me, that story
gets better when I tell it, okay?
_________________________________

Come on. Bring some food over here,
we're starving!

_________________________________