Disney NeverEnding Chronology (Summer 2017 Part 2) - Subtitles (en)

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CHICKEN LITTLE: (SINGING)

I am the champion, my friend

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And I'll keep on fightin' till the end

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(IMITATING GUITAR RIFF)

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I am the champion

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I am the champion

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But gone is the loser

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'Cause I am the champion

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Of the world

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-(CAR ALARMS BLARING)

-Yow!

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-(KNOCK ON DOOR)

-Here's the wind-up and the pitch!

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-A knuckleball!

-He swings!

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-Crack!

-It's going.

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-He rounds first, to second!

-It hits high off the wall!

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He flies past third

and heads for the plate!

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It's a scramble for the ball!

It's gonna be close!

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-He is safe!

-(BOTH CHEERING)

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-The mighty Acorns win!

-Yes! Acorns win!

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The mighty Acorns win!

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-Yeah!

-(WHOOPING)

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-(LAUGHING)

-(CHUCKLING)

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-(SIGHING)

-(YAWNING)

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Geez, you know,

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I guess that puts the whole

"sky is falling" incident

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behind us once and for all. Hey, kiddo?

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You bet, Dad.

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I... (CLEARS THROAT)

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Unless you think we need closure?

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Closure? What's to close here?

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Unless you think we need to close...

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-Not me.

-It's closed!

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-I agree. Vacuum sealed.

-Shut tight!

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Okay, great, Dad. You...

Closure, I don't know.

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All right. Enough fun.

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Good talk. Good talk, son.

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(STRAINING)

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-Here, I'll give you a push.

-Rock me a little. Help me.

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-Okay.

-Okay, I'm up.

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Hey.

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Good night, Ace.

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(CLICKS TONGUE)

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Here's the wind-up, and the pitch!

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Whoo-hoo!

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(CHEERING AND LAUGHING)

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(SIGHS)

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Thanks.

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Thanks for the chance.

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(WHIRRING)

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(GASPING)

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(GRUNTING)

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Oh...

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(GASPING)

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(WHIMPERING)

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CHICKEN LITTLE: No!

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A piece of the sky?

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Shaped like a stop sign? Not again!

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BUCK: Hey! Son!
You all right? I'm coming!

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I'm coming! I'm comin' upstairs!

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-What's wrong?

-Nothing.

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You sure? I thought I heard you yell.

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No.

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Uh, I, uh...

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I fell out of bed.

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BUCK: Huh?

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-How'd you get over there?

-Over where?

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-There. There!

-Where?

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How'd you get over there?

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Who're we talking about?

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Never mind. What's the difference?

Look, the past is behind us, right?

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-Mmm.

-Tomorrow's gonna be a new day.

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(CHUCKLING)

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(GASPING) Please be gone,

please be gone, please be gone...

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(GASPING)

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(GASPING)

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Good.

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-(HUMMING)

-Ah!

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(PANTING)

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(SHUDDERING)

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No.

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(HUMMING)

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(GASPING)

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-(GRUNTING)

-(HUMMING)

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(HUMMING)

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No.

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I gotta call Abby!

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(WANNABE PLAYING)

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ABBY: Uh-huh.
RUNT: Uh-huh.

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(SINGING) Yo, I'll tell you what I want

What I really really want

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Tell me what you want

What you really really want

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I'll tell you what I want

What I really really want

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So tell me what you want

What you really really want

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I wanna, I wanna

I wanna, I wanna

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Really really really wanna zigazig ah

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If you wanna be my lover

You gotta get with my friends

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-Gotta get with my friends

-Make it last forever

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Friendship never ends

If you wanna be my lover

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You have got to give

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-Taking is too easy

-(TELEPHONE RINGING)

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-But that's the way it is

-Hello! Mallard residence.

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Tell you what I want

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Runt! Quiet! I'm on the phone!

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I wanna, I wanna

I wanna, I wanna

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-I wanna really...

-Runt!

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Oh...

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(CLAPPING AND GURGLING)

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Hey! Where are you?

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-We already started. We were just...

-CHICKEN LITTLE: It opened up!

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What?

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CHICKEN LITTLE: All right, guys.
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Watch this.

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-Bizarre.

-(RUNT WHIMPERING)

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Okay. Let me guess.

You haven't told your dad yet.

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-Well...

-I knew it!

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Why haven't you told him?

There hasn't been

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-"you, your dad, talk-talk-talking."

-There was talking.

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-There was definitely talking.

-Really? What did he say?

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Uh...

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(MUMBLES GIBBERISH)

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What?

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All right, that's it.

We are doing an intervention!

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You have got to stop messing around

and deal with the problem!

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-She's right!

-Abby, please.

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This is exactly what

fell on me the first time.

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There's no way

I'm bringing this up again.

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-No, he's not.

-Runt!

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Sorry! I'm a gutless flip-flopper.

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Okay. I'm sure there's

a simple, logical explanation.

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I mean, it could be

a piece of weather balloon,

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or maybe it's part of some

experimental communications satellite.

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I don't care. I want it

out of my life, gone for good.

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Everything back to normal.

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Hey, remember when

that icy blue stuff fell from the sky?

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Everybody thought it was

from space and stuff?

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And it just turned out to be

frozen pee from a jet airplane.

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Yeah, that's right. It's frozen pee.

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Yeah. It's frozen pee.

Pee, pee, pee, pee pee.

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-Could you stop saying that?

-What? Pee?

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-Pee.

-How about tinkle?

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-Piddle? Wee-wee?

-Whiz?

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Okay, subject change.

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-Make pishee?

-I don't care what it is!

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-(HUMMING)

-(GURGLING)

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CHICKEN LITTLE: Are you gonna
help me get rid of it or not?

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-(HUMMING AND BEEPING)

-(GURGLING)

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-(HUMMING)

-(EXPLOSION)

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-(ELECTRIC HUMMING)

-(GURGLING)

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Flying Fish! Take cover!

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Fish!

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-No!

-Fish!

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-(GASPING)

-(GURGLING)

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-(GASPING)

-Aaah!

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Come on, come on, come on!

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Wait, wait, whoa, son!

Where's the fire here?

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Chicken Little has something

to tell you! Tell him. He can handle it.

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Who're we talking about?

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-(SIGHING)

-Uh...

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Gotta go, Dad! Bye!

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Ha! You got to be ready

to listen to your children,

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even if they have nothing to say.

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-ABBY: Sit tight, Fish!

-Fish! We will try to save you!

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-(PANTING)

-Yeah!

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(GRUNTING)

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-(GRUNTING)

-(MUMBLING)

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I'm sorry! Wait!

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(PANTING)

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-(HORN HONKS)

-Sorry!

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-Curb!

-Ay!

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(PANTING)

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(ALL PANTING)

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Fish!

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(RUNT WHEEZING AND GULPING)

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(RUMBLING)

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(ELECTRICAL FIZZLING)

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(WINDS GUSTING)

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(THUNDERCLAP)

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(HUMMING)

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(SCREAMING)

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Abby!

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Abby! Wake up!

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Come on! Let's get outta here!

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(BEEPING)

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(GASPING)

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(GARBLED GURGLING)

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RUNT: Oh, poor Fish!

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He's probably stuffed and mounted

like an intergalactic trophy or...

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maybe he's a half-living host

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implanted with their
face-hugging embryo babies.

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One thing's for sure, man. He's gone!

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-Gone, man!

-(GASPING) Not yet!

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-(TAPPING)

-(GURGLING)

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Oh, snap.

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(GUARD SNORING)

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GUARD: Shut up, you thick-skulled dolt.

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Always barking at nothing.
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All right,

might as well make our rounds.

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(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

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ABBY: Fish.

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(GULPING AND MUFFLED BURP)

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(SQUEAKING)

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(GASPING)

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Hey! What are you doing? Come on!

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Fish.

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Fish.

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Fish.

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-Fish.

-(ELECTRIC BUZZING)

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-Where are you, Fish?

-Shh!

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I can't handle the pressure!

Go on without me!

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-Runt.

-You're just fine.

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I'll jeopardize the mission!

Endanger us all!

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Throw me overboard

while you still have a chance!

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Just leave me some ammo, little water,

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some chips if you have 'em.

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Calm. Okay, all right. Listen.

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-Where's your bag?

-Everything's okay.

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ABBY: Now breathe.
CHICKEN LITTLE: Breathe.

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-No, slowly.

-Slowly.

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Slowly.

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Okay. Now, just do the thing

you do to relax.

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(PEOPLE TALKING)
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(MUSIC PLAYING)
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Here's to everybody!
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More wine and meat for my men!
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And more women.

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Quiet. I'm trying to sleep.
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How about a kiss, eh, princess?

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Gads, you're a lovely one!
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Come on!
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Here.
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Keep your hands off, you little creeper.
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Going somewhere, Creeper?
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(MEN SNIGGERING)
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Kiss me, love, and I'll die
with a smile on my face.
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(MUSIC AND TALKINGS STOPS)

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Welcome, Your Majesty.
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We're just celebrating our success.
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Oh, I mean your success.
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We've made no mistakes this time.
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Bring in the prisoner!
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TARAN: Oh, no.
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There, sire.
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This is the pig that creates visions.

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All right, pig, show His Majesty where
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the Black Cauldron can be found!

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Go on! Show it!
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Stubborn little thing, isn't she?
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(GAGGING)
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Why, yes, sire. You're quite right.

I'll take care of it at once.
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The Black Cauldron. Where is it?
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Show us, swine!

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I warn you. The King's patience is short.
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TARAN: No, no!
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No!
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(MEN CHATTERING)
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Get him! The sneaking, no-good...
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Get back, or I'll...

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Oh.
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(CHUCKLES) Release him.

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What?
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Here.
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Hen Wen.
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Oh, Hen Wen. There, there.
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I presume, my boy,
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you are the keeper of this oracular pig.
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(STAMMERS) Yes, sir.
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Then instruct her to show me
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the whereabouts
of the Black Cauldron.

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Oh, sir, I can't. I promised.
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Very well.
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In that case, the pig is no use to me.
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-(CHUCKLING)

-(SQUEALS)
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What are you going to do?
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No! You can't!
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TARAN: Don't!

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No! Stop!
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I'll make her tell you.
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That's better.
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Now, get on with the vision, pig.
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Hen Wen, from you I do beseech

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knowledge that lies beyond my reach.

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RUNT: (SINGING)

Well, you can tell by the way

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I use my walk

I'm a woman's man

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No time to talk

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Huh huh huh huh

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Stayin' alive

Stayin' alive

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Aaah!

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-(GURGLING)

-(GASPING)

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(GURGLING)

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ALL: Fish!

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CHICKEN LITTLE AND ABBY:
Fish! Are you okay?

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Did they hurt you? Say something!

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Don't tap the glass.

They hate it when you do that.

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All right, let's get out of here.

Where's Runt?

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(WHIMPERING)
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(GASPS IN EXCITMENT)
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Look! Look, sire! It's working!

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(RUNT WHIMPERING)

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(ALL GASP)

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We're next.

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(SQUEALING)

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HORNED KING:
Ah, yes. The Black Cauldron.
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So it does exist. Go on.
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Yes, yes. Where is it?
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Show me.
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Show me.
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(SCREAMS)

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Come on, Hen!
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After them! Get them! After them!

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CHICKEN LITTLE: Run!

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Okay! That's it!

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We're running back

to your house. Tell your dad!

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Okay! You're right, you're right!

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(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

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(SCREAMING AND

GARBLED LANGUAGE)

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(SCREAMING)

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Stayin' alive

Stayin' alive

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Stayin' alive

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-Oh, Runt!

-(SCREAMING)

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RUNT: Push! Push! No!

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-Runt!

-No! Not pull! Push!

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We gotta get outta here right now!

Come on...

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No! Come on, you guys! Hu...

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Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

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Okay, time out!

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So, (LAUGHS)

have you been to the mall?

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Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy.

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I'm sorry.

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Tension makes me bloat.

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(GASPING)

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Come on, guys! Hurry, hurry, hurry!

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(GASPING)

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Gotcha, pig boy!
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(EXCLAIMING)
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(MEN SHOUTING)

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-(WHIMPERING)

-(PANTING)

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CHICKEN LITTLE: Look out!

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Thanks! Curse these

genetically tiny legs!

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Ohh! Aah! (BURPING)

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(RUNT BURPING)

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(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

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(RUNT WHIMPERING)

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(BEEPING)

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(BUZZING)

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What's that noise?

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(BUZZING)

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Sorry. Nervous eater.

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-CHICKEN LITTLE: Run!

-Wait! Fish!

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The school bell! We've got to ring

the school bell to warn everyone!

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Come on!

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(PANTING)

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CHICKEN LITTLE: Hurry! Hurry!

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ABBY: Go! Go!

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-Aaah!

-(PANTING)

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-(RUSTLING)

-(RUNT WHIMPERING)

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(GRUNTING)

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It's locked!

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(BREATHLESS SQUEAL)

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They're... They're comin'.

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I need a soda.

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(GASPING)

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Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy!

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-The corner's wrinkled!

-Why are we doing this?

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-Come on, take it, take it!

-(DINGS)

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Yes!

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Come on! Work! Work!

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Work! You work!

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What happened?

I blacked out there for a second.

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Ah!

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The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

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It was just an acorn. A little acorn!

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I can't tell you 

how embarrassed I am, folks.

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ABBY: Ring the bell!

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Come on, Chicken Little! Ring the bell!

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(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

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-(GRUNTING)

-(RINGING)

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(PANTING AND GROANING)

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(CHUCKLING) Huh? What?

(STAMMERING) Oh!

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CITIZEN ON TV:

Now the weather with Riz.

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A cold front is moving in so...

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The alarm bell has been activated!

Quick! Get a camera crew!

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-(BELL RINGING)

-(CROWD CHATTERING)

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(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)

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COACH: Chicken Little! You better
have a good explanation for this!

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There's, there's... It's a...

You have to... D'oh! Doo wah!

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What did he say?

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There's... It's a...

You have to... D'oh... Doo wah.

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Follow me! Come on!

Hurry! Hurry! Aliens here!

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Aliens here!

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It's... It's happening again.

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Come on! Hurry! Hurry!

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Come on. Come on. 

You're about to see it!

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The moat. It's our only chance.

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Come on, Hen.

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-(WHIMPERS)

-Swim, Hen! Swim!

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(HUMMING)

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(GASPING)

Quick! Quick! It's taking off!

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Come on! If you don't hurry,

you're gonna miss it!

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Oh, look! A penny!

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-Guys!

-Oh, right.

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(ALL YELLING)

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-(CHUCKLING)

-Hurry! Hurry!

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Come on! Quick! It's taking off!

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Come on! Hurry up!

Please! It's right in...

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I'm coming! (GASPS)
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(CHUCKLING)
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Gotcha, pig boy!
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I caught him, Your Majesty!

I caught the boy.
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But you let the pig go, didn't you?
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It wasn't my fault.
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(GAGGING)

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Throw the boy into the dungeon!

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REPORTER 1:

What are we looking for?

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-REPORTER 2: I don't know.

-(CAMERA LENS BUZZING)

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Uh, yeah. Okay. I know this looks bad,

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but there's an invisible
spaceship right there

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with aliens who are here
to invade Earth!

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Let me show you. (GRUNTING)

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REPORTER 3: Ooh, bad throw.

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Okay, let me try again.

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-ALL: Bad throw.

-We all know I don't have a good arm,

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but there's these

cloaking panels on the bottom.

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They make it disappear. One fell out

of the sky and hit me right on the head.

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Oh, it's the acorn thing all over again.

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Eh, there's no story here.

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At least we can sell the video to

Chickens Gone Wild.

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-I'm telling ya, it was here!

-No, wait! There were aliens!

_________________________________

It's true! They had eyes...

They're glowing and then tentacles!

_________________________________

And maps with planets

with X's through them! Aah!

_________________________________

Runt, that's enough!

_________________________________

Don't make Mommy take away

your Streisand collection!

_________________________________

Mom? You leave Barbra out of this!

_________________________________

Why can't you keep

that child of yours under control?

_________________________________

-What kind of parent are you?

-CHICKEN LITTLE: I'm telling the truth.

_________________________________

Dad! Dad! I'm not making this up!

_________________________________

You gotta believe me this time.

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(EXHALES)

_________________________________

No, son. I don't.

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(CHUCKLING) I can't tell you

how embarrassed I am, folks.

_________________________________

I'm really sorry about this, everyone.

_________________________________

Looks like this is just

a big, crazy misunderstanding.

_________________________________

Well, other than the penny,

this whole evening was a wash!

_________________________________

Mr. Cluck, don't take it so hard.

No one blames you.

_________________________________

(GASPING AND PANTING)

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(SNIFFLING AND WHIMPERS)

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-(RUSTLING)

-(GASPING)

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(SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE)

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(PANTING)

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(SPUTTERING)
_________________________________

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Mowgli. Mowgli.

_________________________________

Uh, it's time to get up.

_________________________________

(YAWNS) Oh. Hi, Baloo.

_________________________________

Hi.

_________________________________

Hey, rub that ol' sleep

outta your eyes.

_________________________________

You and me, we got

a long walk ahead of us.

_________________________________

Swell. Gee, we'll have

lots of fun together.

_________________________________

Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

_________________________________

Uh, all right, let's hit the trail, kid.

_________________________________

See ya around, uh, Bagheera.

_________________________________

Well, goodbye, Bagheera.

_________________________________

Me and Baloo, we've got things to do.

_________________________________

Goodbye, Man Club,

_________________________________

and good luck.

_________________________________

Come on, Baloo.

_________________________________

All we gotta do is...

_________________________________

(SINGING)

Look for the bare necessities

_________________________________

Some good ol' bare necessities

_________________________________

Forget about your worries

and your strife

_________________________________

I mean, the bare necessities

_________________________________

That's why a bear can rest at ease

_________________________________

With just the bare necessities of life

_________________________________

Yeah!

_________________________________

I'll live here in the jungle all my life

_________________________________

Yeah, man! I like being a bear.

_________________________________

Where we goin', Baloo?

_________________________________

Well, uh, it's uh... Um...

_________________________________

Well, it's sorta new and, uh...

_________________________________

Oh, I don't care,

as long as I'm with you.

_________________________________

Mowgli, uh, look, buddy, uh,

there's somethin' I gotta tell ya.

_________________________________

Tell me what, Baloo?

_________________________________

Oh, gee whiz.

_________________________________

Now, how did ol' Baggy put it?

It's, uh...

_________________________________

Uh, uh, Mowgli... (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

You would marry a panther, would ya?

_________________________________

(LAUGHING) Gee, I don't even know

what you're talking about.

_________________________________

(GROWLS)

_________________________________

Mowgli, don't you realize

that you're a human?

_________________________________

I'm not any more, Baloo.

I'm a bear like you.

_________________________________

-Little buddy, look, listen to me.

-Come on, Baloo!

_________________________________

-Mowgli, stop it now. Hold still.

-(GROWLING)

_________________________________

I wanna tell you something.

Now listen to me.

_________________________________

What's the matter, ol' Papa Bear?

_________________________________

Look, Mowgli, I've been tryin'

all morning to tell ya,

_________________________________

I've got to take you back

to the man-village.

_________________________________

-The man-village?

-Now, look, kid, I can explain.

_________________________________

-But you said we were partners.

-Now, believe me, kid, I...

_________________________________

-You're just like old Bagheera.

-Now just a minute!

_________________________________

That's goin' too far!

_________________________________

Hey, Mowgli! Where you goin'?

_________________________________

Wait a minute! Stop!

_________________________________

Wait!

_________________________________

Wait! Listen to ol' Baloo!

_________________________________

Mowgli!

_________________________________

Mowgli. Mowgli!

_________________________________

Now what's happened?

_________________________________

(STUTTERING) Well, you're not

gonna believe me, Bagheera,

_________________________________

but look, now, I used the same words

you did, and he ran out on me!

_________________________________

Well, don't just stand there.

_________________________________

Let's separate. We've got to find him!

_________________________________

Oh, if anything happens to that

little guy, I'll never forgive myself.

_________________________________

I gotta find him.

_________________________________

Mowgli!

_________________________________

_________________________________

Wasted my whole day.

_________________________________

I wouldn't say that.

_________________________________

It did feel great to be
out here doing real racing.

_________________________________

This isn't real racing. We're on a beach!

_________________________________

All you do is go straight.
How am I gonna get faster if I don't...

_________________________________

Thunder Hollow.

_________________________________

Thunder Hollow!
There's a dirt track there!

_________________________________

That's what I need!
To race against actual racers.

_________________________________

No! Too public! If the press find you,

_________________________________

they will be like many bugs on you.

_________________________________

-Paparazzi! (SPITS)

-Guys, I really need this!

_________________________________

Ah, just leave it to me, boss.

I am a master of disguise.

_________________________________

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

_________________________________

-(CAMERAS CLICKING)

-(CARS HONKING)

_________________________________

FEMALE CAR: All right! Next!

_________________________________

(WHISTLING TUNE)

_________________________________

(COUGHS AND SPITS)

_________________________________

You, sir, are officially incognito.

_________________________________

Nobody's bothering you.

_________________________________

The great Lightning McQueen.

_________________________________

I can feel it, guys.
Tonight is the night I find my speed!

_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Racers, get on over

to the startin' line. Pronto!

_________________________________

(ALL CHATTERING)

_________________________________

All right! No more straight lines.

_________________________________

Just a good old-fashioned oval.

_________________________________

Hey, now! You that out-of-towner?

_________________________________

Uh, yes. That's me!

Chester Whipplefilter.

_________________________________

And I'm Frances Beltline.

_________________________________

-Cruz, what are you doing?

-I'm your trainer.

_________________________________

I'm gonna track your speed
from the infield, Whipplefilter.

_________________________________

Fine. Just stay out of the way.

_________________________________

Excuse me, sir?
Where are the other racers?

_________________________________

Oh, they'll be along.

_________________________________

We always let our guests

start right up front.

_________________________________

-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

-(CROWD CHEERING)

_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Welcome, y'all,

to Thunder Hollow Speedway...

_________________________________
for tonight's edition of Crazy Eight!
_________________________________
Did he say Crazy Eight?
_________________________________
Whoa.
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Race fans!

_________________________________
It's time to meet tonight's challengers!
_________________________________
-(SIREN CHIRPS)
-(IMITATING SIREN SOUNDS)
_________________________________
-Have a nice trip!
-(EVIL LAUGHTER)
_________________________________
Protect and swerve!
_________________________________
(ALL LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
_________________________________
(WHOOPING)
_________________________________
(WHISTLING TUNE)
_________________________________
Cruz! This isn't what I thought it was.
_________________________________
Come on, follow me and we'll slip out.
_________________________________
Rule number one:
the gate closes, you race.
_________________________________
CRUZ: (GASPS) Wait!

No, no, no. I'm not a racer.
_________________________________
Rule number two: last car standing wins.
_________________________________
And rule number three:
no cursing! It's Family Night.
_________________________________
-Excuse me, sir?
-Wait. No, I'm just a trainer!
_________________________________
-Whoo!
-(BOTH YELPING)

_________________________________

Luck isn't going to help us now.

_________________________________

If she tries to use Hockey Island,

it's going down.

_________________________________

Which is why I've recalled

_________________________________

every hockey memory I can think of.

_________________________________

One of these has got to work

_________________________________

in place of the Core Memory.

_________________________________

-She's about to play!

-Hurry!

_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: And make way for

the undefeated Crazy Eight champion...

_________________________________
the Diva of Demolition, Miss Fritter!
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
Boo! (LAUGHS)
_________________________________
Lookie here, boys.
We got us a couple of rookies.
_________________________________
I'm gonna call you Muddy Britches
and you Lemonade.
_________________________________
Hey, neither one of them
has a single dent.
_________________________________
Oh, I'm gonna fix that!
_________________________________
All right, everybody! Let's go racing!
_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
(MISS FRITTER LAUGHS)
_________________________________
I'm about to commit a moving violation.
_________________________________

-McQUEEN: Ow.

-(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
-Boo!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
(GASPING)

_________________________________

(POWERING UP)
_________________________________

Ha-ha! We did it, gang! It's working!

_________________________________

Oh!

_________________________________

-(POWERING DOWN)

-(YELPS)

_________________________________
Cruz!

_________________________________

RACER: Ha-ha! Watch out.
_________________________________
What are you doing?
Got to keep moving!
_________________________________
I shouldn't be out here! (SHRIEKS)
_________________________________
-Move, Cruz! Move!
-(SCREAMS)
_________________________________
What do I do? I can't steer!
_________________________________
Turn right to go left!
Turn right to go left!
_________________________________
That doesn't make any sense!
_________________________________
Turn right to go left!
_________________________________
(RACER WHOOPING)
_________________________________
(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)
_________________________________
-Whoa.
-(RACER CAR WHIMPERING)
_________________________________
-Hey, Patty.
-Oh, hey, Bill!
_________________________________
Ahhh! (YELPS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(CREAKING)
_________________________________
(WHOOPING)
_________________________________
Look, Ma, I can drive... Oh, man!
_________________________________
Nice day for a drive, huh?
_________________________________
Hey, buddy!
Get the (HONKS) out of my way!
_________________________________
-Whoo-hoo!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
Hey! I'm driving...
_________________________________
-(IMITATING SIREN)
-(LAUGHS)
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________
(WHIMPERS)
_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________
-Oh, look at my new hat!
-(McQUEEN SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(ALL SCREAMING)

_________________________________

SUPERFLY: I'm flying!

No! I'm not flying!

_________________________________

-(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

-CAR: Get it. Get it.
_________________________________
-I got it!
-(CHEERING)

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHS) No! No! Aah!

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________
DISGUST: It's like

we don't learn anything.

_________________________________
-Cruz!
-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(IMITATING SIREN SOUND)
_________________________________
Oh!

_________________________________

CABBIE TAXI: Hey, buddy! Move it!
_________________________________
Turn right to go left.
Turn right to go left.
_________________________________
Whoa, whoa. Whoa!

_________________________________

-Here I come, boy!

-TACO: No, no, no!
_________________________________
(GROANING)
_________________________________
Oh, no.
_________________________________
Buckle up, everybody!

_________________________________
It's Fritter time!
_________________________________
(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________
CROWD: (CHANTING) Fritter! Fritter!
_________________________________
Fritter! Fritter! Fritter!
_________________________________
We love you, Miss Fritter.
_________________________________
Oh, yeah! Your license plate's gonna
look real nice in my collection.
_________________________________
-Oh, boy.
-Run!
_________________________________
Oh, no.
_________________________________
Remember, obey all
appropriate street signs.
_________________________________
-Cruz!
-(LAUGHS)
_________________________________
-(MUD SQUELCHING)
-(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Whoa! Hey...
_________________________________
Whoa, whoa, whoa. (GRUNTS)
_________________________________
-Oh, my gracious! Miss Fritter's down!
-(ALL GASPING)
_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
(REVVING)
_________________________________
(CLATTERING)
_________________________________
MISS FRITTER: Nobody touches him.

_________________________________
He is mine! (GRUNTS)
_________________________________
You gonna get it now, Whipplefilter!

_________________________________

-That's it!

-No, no, no! Breathe.

_________________________________

Find your happy place. (CHOKES)

_________________________________

(YELLING)

_________________________________
(GRUNTING)
_________________________________
Come on, McQueen. You can do it.
Come on, Lightning, keep going.
_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Miss Fritter is

looking to get upright, folks.

_________________________________
And she is not pleased.
_________________________________

CAR: Get up. Get up!
CROWD: Fritter! Fritter!
_________________________________
You about to feel the wrath of the...
_________________________________
Lower Belleville County
Unified School District!
_________________________________
Oh! What the... Wait...
_________________________________
(SCREAMING)
_________________________________
No, no, no! No! No!
_________________________________
(GASPS)

_________________________________

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a winner!

_________________________________
Frances Beltline!
_________________________________
Is that me? That's me! I won! I won!
_________________________________
-Cruz! Cruz! No!
-Ahhh! Watch out!
_________________________________
Whoa, whoa. (WHIMPERS)
_________________________________
(WATER GUSHING)
_________________________________
-(CROWD GASPS)
-(SPITS)
_________________________________

MALE CAR: Whipplefilter?
_________________________________
-It's Lightning McQueen!
-(ALL SCREAMING)
_________________________________
(GASPS)

_________________________________

-CAR: McQueen!

-(CAMERAS FLASHING)
_________________________________
(HORN BLARING)
_________________________________

Fans here at Thunder Hollow
still buzzing over tonight's...
_________________________________
unexpected appearance
of Lightning McQueen.
_________________________________
He has always been my favorite!
_________________________________
My garage is covered from
head to toe with 95 posters.

_________________________________

(RUMBLING)

_________________________________

Hockey?

_________________________________

Oh, no, no, she loves hockey.

She can't give up hockey.
_________________________________
LITTLE GIRL: It's for the lost princess.
_________________________________

Bing Bong, we have to

get to that station.

_________________________________

Sure thing. This way,

_________________________________

just past Graham Cracker Castle. Hey.

_________________________________

That's weird.

_________________________________

Graham Cracker Castle

used to be right here.

_________________________________
BING BONG: I wonder why

they moved it? Wow, that's not...

_________________________________

I would have sworn

Sparkle Pony Mountain was right here.

_________________________________

-Hey, what's going on?

-Yeah, yeah... I don't know...

_________________________________

-We'll have to come back.

-(GASPS) Princess Dream World!

_________________________________

Oh, no! The stuffed

Animal Hall of Fame!

_________________________________

(GASPS) My rocket!

_________________________________
BING BONG: Wait! Riley and I,

we're still using that rocket!

_________________________________

It still has some song power left!

_________________________________

♪ Who's your friend who likes to play? ♪

_________________________________

(DISTORTED TUNE PLAYING)

_________________________________

No! No, no, no. No, you can't

take my rocket to the dump!

_________________________________

Riley and I are going to the moon!

_________________________________

Oh!

_________________________________

(BING BONG WHIMPERING)

_________________________________

Riley can't be done with me.

_________________________________

Hey, it's going to be okay!

We can fix this!

_________________________________

We just need to

get back to Headquarters.

_________________________________

Which way to the train station?

_________________________________

I had a whole trip planned for us.

_________________________________

(GASPS) Hey, who's ticklish, huh?

_________________________________

Here comes the tickle monster!

_________________________________

Hey, Bing Bong! Look at this!

_________________________________

(MAKING FUNNY SOUNDS)

_________________________________

Oh! Here's a fun game!

_________________________________

You point to the train station

and we all go there!

_________________________________

Won't that be fun? Come on,

let's go to the train station!

_________________________________

REPORTER: Tell ours listeners at home

you weren't really trying

_________________________________
-to wreck him, were you?
-So trophy's kind of nice.
_________________________________
Don't you think?
_________________________________
I mean, I know you got like
a billion of them, so you would know.
_________________________________
I still can't believe I won. (CHUCKLES)
_________________________________
It's pretty shiny.
I have never seen one up close.
_________________________________
Looks like they spent
a lot of money on it.
_________________________________
I mean, I think it's real metal.
_________________________________
Stop. Just stop, okay, Cruz?
You don't even know.
_________________________________
-You don't even have one clue...
-Hey! I was just trying...
_________________________________
Do you know what happens
if I lose this race?
_________________________________
Every mile of this trip was to get me
faster than Jackson Storm. Faster!
_________________________________
I started off getting nowhere
for a week on a simulator!
_________________________________
I lose a whole day with you
on Fireball Beach.
_________________________________
And then I waste tonight
in the crosshairs of Miss Fritter!
_________________________________
I'm stuck in the same speed
I was a month ago!
_________________________________
I can't get any faster because
I'm too busy taking care of my trainer!
_________________________________
This is my last chance, Cruz.
Last! Final! Finito!
_________________________________
If I lose, I never get to do this again.
_________________________________
If you were a racer...
_________________________________
you'd know what I'm talking about
but you're not! So you don't.
_________________________________
(CRUZ GASPS)
_________________________________
Mack! Pull over!
_________________________________
What? Now?
_________________________________
Now!
_________________________________
Ahh! Okay! Pulling over!
_________________________________
Ask me if I dreamed of being a trainer,
Mr. McQueen. Go ahead.
_________________________________
Ask me if I got up in the dark
_________________________________
to run laps before school every day.
_________________________________
Ask me if I saved every penny
to buy a ticket
_________________________________
to the races when they came to town.
_________________________________
Ask me if I did that so I could be
a trainer someday. Ask me.
_________________________________
-Did you?
-No!
_________________________________
I've wanted to become a racer forever!
_________________________________
Because of you!
_________________________________

I used to watch you on TV,

flying through the air.

_________________________________

You seemed so... fearless.

_________________________________

"Dream small, Cruz,"

that's what my family used to say.

_________________________________

"Dream small or not at all."

_________________________________

They were just trying to protect me.

_________________________________

But I was the fastest kid in town

_________________________________

and I was gonna prove them wrong.

_________________________________

What happened?

_________________________________

When I got to my first race,
I figured it out.

_________________________________

What?

_________________________________

That I didn't belong.

_________________________________

The other racers looked nothing like me.

_________________________________

They were bigger and stronger

and so... confident.

_________________________________

And when they started their engines,
that was it...

_________________________________

I knew I'd never be a racer.

_________________________________

I just left.

_________________________________

It was my one shot and I didn't take it.

_________________________________

Yeah, so, uh, I'm gonna head back
to the training center.

_________________________________

I think we both know it's for the best.

_________________________________

But can I ask you something?

_________________________________

What was it like for you?

_________________________________

When you showed up to your first race?

_________________________________

How did you know you could do it?

_________________________________

I don't know.
I just never thought I couldn't.

_________________________________

I wish I knew what that felt like.

_________________________________

Good luck, Mr. McQueen.

_________________________________

Cruz. Cruz, wait.

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

(SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE)
_________________________________

_________________________________

REPORTER: Reports of panic

and mayhem are pouring in

_________________________________

after yet another Chicken Little

incident last night.

_________________________________

In one instance, a family 

of lemmings was sent running in fear,

_________________________________

but unable to find a cliff, they

instead began throwing themselves

_________________________________

(PHONE RINGS)

_________________________________

-from the nearest park bench.

-Hello? I'm sorry.

_________________________________

Hello? I apologize.

Hello? Give me a break!

_________________________________

What? You were trampled?

That's terrible.

_________________________________

I thought rabbits' feet

were supposed to be lucky.

_________________________________

-COMPUTER: You have hate mail.

-I'm sorry. That wasn't very funny.

_________________________________

-COMPUTER: You have more hate mail.

-Hi. What are you saying, sir?

_________________________________

Your hate mail box is full.

_________________________________

Oh, yes. I do see the skywriting there.

_________________________________

Thank goodness the cloud

blocked the last letter. Hello?

_________________________________

-Hey, hey, hey! Watch your mouth.

-(WOMAN SPEAKING ON PHONE)

_________________________________

Yeah? Oh, yeah?

Well, I'd like to see you try.

_________________________________

Okay, I love you too, Mom. Bye.

_________________________________

-(PHONE RINGS)

-Hello? Really. Well...

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

(RUSTLING)

_________________________________

If there was ever a time

to talk to your dad...

_________________________________

It's now.

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

It's too late for that.

_________________________________

(RUNT SOBBING)

_________________________________

It's too late, baby, now it's too late.

_________________________________

(SOBBING) Though they 

really did try to make it.

_________________________________

-Runt.

-(SOBBING)

_________________________________

Just think about it.

_________________________________

Something inside has died

and they just can't hide

_________________________________

and they just can't fake it. Oh, no, no.

_________________________________

DALLBEN: You must make sure

he never uses Hen Wen

_________________________________
to find the Black Cauldron.
(ECHOING)

_________________________________
TARAN: I won't fail you, Dallben.
_________________________________

Look at me, Hen! I can do it!

(ECHOING)

_________________________________
(SOBBING) I can do it. I can do it.
_________________________________

_________________________________

I'm sorry they took your rocket.

_________________________________

They took something that you loved.

_________________________________

It's gone. Forever.

_________________________________

Sadness. Don't make him feel worse.

_________________________________

Sorry.

_________________________________

It's all I had left of Riley.

_________________________________

I bet you and Riley

had great adventures.

_________________________________

Oh, they were wonderful.

_________________________________

Once we flew back in time.

_________________________________

We had breakfast twice that day.

_________________________________

Sadness...

_________________________________

It sounds amazing. I bet Riley liked it.

_________________________________

(SNIFFLING) Oh, she did.

We were best friends.

_________________________________

Yeah. It's sad.

_________________________________

(CRYING)

_________________________________

Wh...

_________________________________

(GROANS)

_________________________________

I'm okay now.

_________________________________

Come on. The train station is this way.

_________________________________

How did you do that?

_________________________________

Oh, I don't know. He was sad.

_________________________________

So I listened to what...

_________________________________

Hey! There's the train!

_________________________________

(TRAIN HONKING HORN)

_________________________________

(ALL GRUNTING)

_________________________________

Oh! We made it!

We're finally going to get home!

_________________________________

Oh, no! These Facts and Opinions

look so similar.

_________________________________

Oh, don't worry about it.

Happens all the time.

_________________________________

FEMALE CAR ON TV:
And earn your physics degree

_________________________________

from the comfort of your own home...

_________________________________

MALE CAR: You'll get

that and a $200 gift,

_________________________________

-for $29.95.
-(MACK SNORING)

_________________________________

MALE CAR 2: Now look here, Warden...

_________________________________

FEMALE CAR 2: Oh, no!

He's got a jack!

_________________________________

NARRATOR: Autos over 100,000 miles

also reported trouble sleeping.

_________________________________

You could have 12 worn-out wrenches
or you could have one atomic wrench.

_________________________________

MALE CAR: Throw the old ones out.
This covers...

_________________________________
HICKS: "Champion for the Ages".

 Chick Hicks here.
_________________________________
Coming to you live from...

Chick Hicks Studios,

_________________________________

where I'm joined once again by...

_________________________________

next-gen racing expert, Natalie Certain.

_________________________________

Thanks, Chick. Piston Cup champion

Jackson Storm set a new record today...

_________________________________

when he pulled off
the fastest lap ever recorded.

_________________________________

An unprecedented 213 miles an hour.

_________________________________
HICKS: Wow!

So what do you think, Certain?

_________________________________

Stormy boy gonna start
the season with another win?

_________________________________

Highly likely, Chick.

_________________________________
Based on his recent run times
and forecasted...

_________________________________

track temperatures on race day,

_________________________________

Storm's chances of winning...
are 95.2%.

_________________________________

That low, huh?

_________________________________

Oh, and in case you missed it,

_________________________________

talk of the track tonight

is Lightning McQueen...

_________________________________

finding yet another way

to embarrass himself

_________________________________

at a demolition derby. Whoa.

_________________________________

Almost makes me feel sorry for the guy.

_________________________________

Not really. (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Here's what his new sponsor had to say.

_________________________________

Everyone, relax. The 95's gonna race.

_________________________________

Lightning's just taking a somewhat

unconventional approach to this race.

_________________________________

It's one of the things

his fans love about him.

_________________________________
HICKS: Yeah, right!

Talk about humiliating.

_________________________________

If I were old Ka-chow...

I wouldn't even bother

_________________________________

to show up in Florida.

_________________________________

That could be for the best, Chick.
Even if he does race...

_________________________________

McQueen's probability
of winning is 1.2%.

_________________________________
HICKS: Wow!

_________________________________

Numbers never lie.
_________________________________
I'm willing to predict tonight

that Lightning McQueen's racing...
_________________________________
career will be over within the week.

_________________________________

It might even be over now.

_________________________________

I mean, I knew his career

was stuck in the mud...

_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

_________________________________

On a scale of one to ten,

_________________________________

 I give this day an F.

_________________________________

Well, why don't we quit standing

around and do something?

_________________________________

Like what, genius?

_________________________________

Like quitting. That's what I'm doing.

_________________________________

Sure it's the coward's way out.

_________________________________

But this coward's gonna survive.

_________________________________

Ow!

_________________________________

(EXCLAIMING)

_________________________________
DISGUST: Emotions can't quit, genius!

_________________________________
Ugh! I thought we were supposed to

be keeping Riley happy.

_________________________________

_________________________________

(FILM REEL SCRATCHING)

_________________________________

(BACKGROUND CHATTER)

_________________________________

-Is this on?

-INTERVIEWER: That's fine.

_________________________________

I can break through walls,

I just can't...

_________________________________

-INTERVIEWER: That's fine.

-I can't get this on.

_________________________________

INTERVIEWER: Mr. Incredible...

Do you have a secret identity?

_________________________________

Every superhero has a secret identity.

I don't know a single one who doesn't.

_________________________________

Who wants the pressure

of being super all the time?

_________________________________

Of course I have a secret identity.

_________________________________

Can you see me in this

at the supermarket? Come on.

_________________________________

Who'd want to go shopping

as Elastigirl, know what I mean?

_________________________________

Superladies, they're always trying

to tell you their secret identity.

_________________________________

Think it'll strengthen

the relationship or something.

_________________________________

I said, "Girl, I don't want to know

about your mild-mannered alter ego."

_________________________________

I mean, you tell me you're

a super-mega-ultra-lightning-babe,

_________________________________

that's all right with me.

I'm good. I'm good.

_________________________________

No matter how many times

you save the world,

_________________________________

it always manages to get back

in jeopardy again.

_________________________________

Sometimes I just want it to stay saved,

you know?

_________________________________

For a little bit. I feel like the maid.

"I just cleaned up this mess.

_________________________________

"Can we keep it clean

for ten minutes?"

_________________________________

INTERVIEWER:

I could get to that point.

_________________________________

-"Please?"

-INTERVIEWER: We're not finished.

_________________________________

Sometimes I think I'd just like

the simple life, you know?

_________________________________

Relax a little and raise a family.

_________________________________

Settle down? Are you kidding?

I'm at the top of my game!

_________________________________

I'm up there with the big dogs!

Girls, come on.

_________________________________

Leave the saving of the world

to the men? I don't think so.

_________________________________

I don't think so.

_________________________________

(POLICE SIREN WAILS)

_________________________________

(OVER RADIO)

We interrupt for a bulletin.

_________________________________

A high-speed pursuit between police

and armed gunmen is underway,

_________________________________

traveling northbound

on San Pablo Ave.

_________________________________

 Yeah, I've got time.

_________________________________

Mr. Incredible.

_________________________________

-What is it, ma'am?

-My cat, Squeaker, won't come down.

_________________________________

(CAT MEOWS)

_________________________________

Certainly. I suggest you stand clear.

There could be trouble.

_________________________________

No, he's quite tame.

_________________________________

(GUNFIRE)

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

(MEOWS)

_________________________________

(BEEPING)

_________________________________

(SIRENS WAIL)

_________________________________

Let go now.

_________________________________

(CAT YOWLS)

_________________________________

Thank you, Mr. Incredible.

You've done it again.

_________________________________

-You're the best.

-No, I'm just here to help.

_________________________________

(OVER RADIO) All units.

We have a tour bus robbery...

_________________________________

Tour bus robbery. I've still got time.

_________________________________

Officers. Ma'am. Squeaker.

_________________________________

-Cool! Ready for take-off!

-What the...

_________________________________

-Who are you supposed to be?

-I'm IncrediBoy.

_________________________________

What? No.

_________________________________

You're that kid from the fan club.

_________________________________

(STAMMERING) Brophy. Brody.

Buddy! Buddy!

_________________________________

My name is IncrediBoy.

_________________________________

I've been nice, I've stood for photos,

_________________________________

signed every scrap of paper

you pushed at me...

_________________________________

No, don't worry about training me.

I know your moves,

_________________________________

crime fighting style,

favorite catch phrases, everything!

_________________________________

I'm your number one fan!

_________________________________
BUDDY: Hey! Hey, wait!

_________________________________

(MUTTERING)

_________________________________
MR. INCREDIBLE: You know,

_________________________________

you can tell a lot about a woman

by the contents of her purse,

_________________________________

but maybe that's not

what you had in mind.

_________________________________

Hey, look...

_________________________________

(GRUNTS)

_________________________________

Elastigirl.

_________________________________

Mr. Incredible.

_________________________________

-It's all right. I've got him.

-Sure, you've got him.

_________________________________

-I just took him out for you.

-Sure, you did.

_________________________________

-His attention was on me.

-A fact I exploited to do my job.

_________________________________

-My job, you mean.

-A simple thank you will suffice.

_________________________________

Thanks, but I don't need any help.

_________________________________

Whatever happened to "ladies first"?

_________________________________

Well, whatever happened

to equal treatment?

_________________________________

Look, the lady got me first.

_________________________________

-Well, we could share, you know.

-I work alone.

_________________________________

Well, I think you need to be more

_________________________________

flexible.

_________________________________

Are you doing anything later?

_________________________________

I have a previous engagement.

_________________________________

(WHISTLES)

_________________________________

Now, you just stay here.

_________________________________

They usually pick up

the garbage in an hour.

_________________________________

-FROZONE: Hey, Incredible!

-Hey, Frozone!

_________________________________

-Shouldn't you be getting ready?

-I still got time.

_________________________________

(CROWD SCREAMING)

_________________________________

WOMAN: He's gonna jump!

_________________________________

SANSWEET: I think

you broke something.

_________________________________

With counseling,

I think you'll come to forgive me.

_________________________________

Wait a minute.

_________________________________

(SANSWEET MOANING)

_________________________________

(BEEPING)

_________________________________

(BEEPING SPEEDS UP)

_________________________________

(COUGHING) Bomb Voyage.

_________________________________

Mr. Incredible...!

_________________________________
BUDDY: And IncrediBoy!

_________________________________
VOYAGE: IncrediBoy?

_________________________________

Aren't you curious about how I get

around so fast? I have rocket boots.

_________________________________

-Go home, Buddy. Now.

-What?

_________________________________

Little oaf...!

_________________________________

Can we talk?

_________________________________

You always say be true to yourself,

_________________________________

but you never say

which part to be true to.

_________________________________

Well, I've finally figured out who I am.

I am your ward. IncrediBoy!

_________________________________

And now, you have officially

carried it too far, Buddy.

_________________________________

This is because I don't have powers,

isn't it?

_________________________________

Not every superhero has powers,

you know.

_________________________________

You can be super without them.

_________________________________

I invented these.

I can fly. Can you fly?

_________________________________

Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.

_________________________________

And your outfit is totally ridiculous!

_________________________________

Just give me one chance!

I'll show you. I'll go get the police.

_________________________________

-Buddy, don't!

-It'll only take a second, really.

_________________________________

No, stop!

There's a bomb!

_________________________________

Let go, you're wrecking

my flight pattern.

_________________________________

-I can do this if you let go!

-Will you just...

_________________________________

-I'm trying to help! Stop!

-Let go of my cape!

_________________________________

(BEEPING)

_________________________________

(BEEPING SPEEDS UP)

_________________________________

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)

_________________________________

Take this one home. And make sure

his mom knows what he's been doing.

_________________________________

I can help you.

You're making a mist...

_________________________________

The injured jumper.

You sent paramedics?

_________________________________

They picked him up.

_________________________________

The blast in that building

was caused by Bomb Voyage

_________________________________

who I caught robbing the vault.

_________________________________

We might nab him

if we set up a perimeter.

_________________________________

-He got away?

-Well, yeah.

_________________________________

-Skippy here made sure of that.

-IncrediBoy.

_________________________________

You're not affiliated with me!

Holy smokes, I'm late.

_________________________________

Listen, I've gotta be somewhere.

_________________________________

 -What about Bomb Voyage?

-Any other night, I'd go after him,

_________________________________

but I really gotta go. Don't worry.

We'll get him! Eventually!

_________________________________

(CHURCH ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS)

_________________________________

-Is the night still young?

-You're very late.

_________________________________

-How do I look? Good?

-The mask. You still got the mask.

_________________________________

(CRACKS NECK)

_________________________________

Showtime.

_________________________________

Robert Parr, will you have this woman

to be your lawful wedded wife?

_________________________________

You're late. When you asked

if I was doing anything later,

_________________________________

I didn't realize you'd forgotten.

I thought it was playful banter.

_________________________________

-It was.

-Cutting it close, don't you think?

_________________________________

You need to be more flexible.

_________________________________

I love you, but if we're

gonna make this work,

_________________________________

you've gotta be more

than Mr. Incredible.

_________________________________

You know that. Don't you?

_________________________________

-...so long as you both shall live?

-I do.

_________________________________

I pronounce this couple

husband and wife.

_________________________________

(PEOPLE CHEERING

AND WHISTLING)

_________________________________

As long as we both shall live.

No matter what happens.

_________________________________

Hey, come on. We're superheroes.

What could happen?

_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: In a stunning turn of

events, a superhero is being sued

_________________________________

 for saving someone who,

apparently, didn't want to be saved.

_________________________________

The plaintiff, Oliver Sansweet,

_________________________________

who was foiled in his attempted

suicide by Mr. Incredible,

_________________________________

has filed suit against the famed

superhero in Superior Court.

_________________________________

Mr. Sansweet didn't ask to be saved.

He didn't want to be saved.

_________________________________

The injury received from

Mr. Incredible's "actions,"
_________________________________

-causes him daily pain.

-I saved your life!

_________________________________

You didn't save my life!

You ruined my death.

_________________________________

 LAWYER: My client has no comment.

_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: Another suit was filed

by victims of the El train accident.

_________________________________

Incredible's court losses

cost the government millions.

_________________________________

And opened the floodgates for dozens

of superhero lawsuits the world over.

_________________________________

It is time for their secret identity

to become their only identity.

_________________________________

Time for them to join us, or go away.

_________________________________
ANNOUNCER: Under public pressure,

and the financial burden

_________________________________

of an ever mounting series of lawsuits,

_________________________________

the government quietly initiated

the Superhero Relocation Program.

_________________________________

The supers were granted amnesty

from responsibility for past actions,
_________________________________

in exchange for the promise

to never again resume hero work.

_________________________________

Where are they now?

_________________________________

They are living among us.

Average citizens, average heroes.

_________________________________

Quietly and anonymously continuing

to make the world a better place.

_________________________________

_________________________________

MAN ON TV: (FRENCH ACCENT)
Although each of the world's countries
_________________________________

would like to dispute this fact,
_________________________________

we French know the truth:
_________________________________

The best food in the world
is made in France.
_________________________________

The best food in France
is made in Paris.
_________________________________

And the best food in Paris, some say,
is made by Chef Auguste Gusteau.
_________________________________

Gusteau's restaurant
is the toast of Paris,
_________________________________

booked five months in advance.
_________________________________

And his dazzling ascent
to the top of fine French cuisine
_________________________________

has made his competitors envious.
_________________________________

He is the youngest chef ever
to achieve a five-star rating.
_________________________________

Chef Gusteau's cookbook,
Anyone Can Cook!
_________________________________

climbed to the top of the bestseller list.
_________________________________

But not everyone
celebrates its success.
_________________________________

Amusing title, Anyone Can Cook!
_________________________________

What's even more amusing is that
Gusteau actually seems to believe it.
_________________________________

I, on the other hand,
take cooking seriously.
_________________________________

And, no, I don't think anyone can do it.
_________________________________

_________________________________

(LOW, PULSATING RUMBLE)
_________________________________

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
_________________________________

(TRIUMPHANT THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRA CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________

(PERCUSSION BOOMING)
_________________________________

We come in peace

for cats and mice everywhere.
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(GLASS BREAKS, AIR HISSING)
_________________________________

(POPPING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING)
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________

Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.

Thanks for coming out.
_________________________________

(PRESIDENTIAL SONG PLAYING)
_________________________________
SCRATCHY: Itchy... Itchy...

_________________________________

(AIR HORN BLASTS)
_________________________________

(QUIET, OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC

GROWS LOUDER)
_________________________________

(SNAPS FINGERS)
_________________________________

(CLICK)
_________________________________

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)
_________________________________

(MUSIC CRESCENDOES)
_________________________________

(LOUD BUZZING)
_________________________________

(MISSILES RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(MISSILES WHIZZING

THROUGH AIR)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(MISSILE WHIZZING)
_________________________________

(MECHANICAL RATCHETING)
_________________________________

(METALLIC CLUNK)
_________________________________

(LOUD EXPLOSION)
_________________________________

Boring!
_________________________________
LISA: Dad, we can't see the movie!

_________________________________

I can't believe we're paying to see

something we get on TV for free.
_________________________________

If you ask me, everybody

in this theater is a giant sucker,
_________________________________

especially you!
_________________________________

(CHORUS SINGING)
_________________________________

PROFESSOR FRINK:
Movie on the big screen!
_________________________________

(THEME PLAYING)
_________________________________

(CREAKING, THUD)
_________________________________

(PEN SQUEAKS)
_________________________________

(MARTIN HOWLING)
_________________________________

(ROCK BAND JOINS IN

ON THE SIMPSONS THEME)
_________________________________

(CROWD CHEERING)
_________________________________

(STRAINED GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Excuse me, my heinie is dipping.
_________________________________

-(OTHERS GROAN IN DISGUST)

-(LOUD THUD, GRUNT)
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

♪ Hey! Hey!
_________________________________

(TO THE SIMPSONS THEME)

♪ Da, da, da, da-da, da, da
_________________________________

♪ Da, da-da-da-da
_________________________________

CROWD: ♪ Da-da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da! ♪
_________________________________

(SONG ENDS, CHEERING)
_________________________________

All right, well,

thanks a lot for coming.
_________________________________

We've been playing

for three and a half hours.
_________________________________

Now we'd like just a minute of your time
_________________________________

to say something

about the environment!
_________________________________

-(CROWD QUIETS)

-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

(LOUD BOOING)
_________________________________

MAN 1: You suck!

MAN 2: Shut up and play!
_________________________________

-Preachy!

-We're not being preachy.
_________________________________

But the pollution in your lake,

it's dissolving our barge!
_________________________________

(CROWD BOOING)
_________________________________

I thought they touched on a vital issue.
_________________________________

I beg to differ.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(SCREECHY GASP)
_________________________________

Gentlemen, it's been an honor

playing with you tonight.
_________________________________

(PLAYING

"NEARER MY GOD TO THEE")
_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYING)
_________________________________

For the latest rock band

to die in our town,
_________________________________

Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________

CONGREGATION:

Lord, hear our prayer.
_________________________________

(CAR SCREECHES TO A HALT)
_________________________________
MARGE: I hate being late.
HOMER: Well, I hate going.

_________________________________

Why can't I worship the Lord

in my own way...
_________________________________

by praying like hell on my deathbed?
_________________________________
MARGE: Homer,

they can hear you inside.
_________________________________
HOMER: Relax. Those pious morons

_________________________________
are too busy talking
to their phony-baloney God.

_________________________________

(QUIETLY) How you doing?

Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.
_________________________________

(GRAMPA SNORING)
_________________________________

(ORGAN PLAYING QUIETLY)
_________________________________

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
_________________________________

-(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)

-(BABIES SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS STOP)
_________________________________

Now, today I'd like to try

something a little different.
_________________________________

I'm going to call on one of you!
_________________________________

(MAN YELPS)
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES) Now, the word

of God dwells within everyone.
_________________________________

I want you to let that word out.
_________________________________

-Let your spirit...

-FLANDERS: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
_________________________________

(FRUSTRATED SIGH) What is it, Ned?
_________________________________

The good Lord is telling me

to confess to something.
_________________________________

(QUIETLY)

Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
_________________________________

An immodest sense of pride

in our community!
_________________________________

Somebody else?
_________________________________

Let the Lord's light shine upon you.
_________________________________

-(HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGING)

-(SNORING)
_________________________________

Feel the spirit.
_________________________________

Let it out!
_________________________________

Horrible, horrible things

are going to happen!
_________________________________

And they're gonna happen to you

and you and you!
_________________________________

-And you!

-(GASPS)
_________________________________

Whoa, Nelly.
_________________________________

(GOOFY GASPING)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(BEEP)
_________________________________

People of Springfield, heed this warning!

_________________________________

Twisted tail!
_________________________________

A thousand eyes!
_________________________________

Trapped forever!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING LIKE THREE STOOGES)
_________________________________

Dad, do something!
_________________________________

This book doesn't have any answers!
_________________________________

Beware, beware! Time is short!
_________________________________

EPA! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________

(LOUD THUD)
_________________________________

Believe me! Believe me!
_________________________________

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
_________________________________

Thanks for listening.
_________________________________

Okay, who wants waffles?
_________________________________

ALL: I do! I do! I do!
_________________________________

Wait a minute. What about Grandpa?
_________________________________

-I want syrup.

-I want strawberries!
_________________________________

Something happened to that man.
_________________________________

I'll tell you what happened to him. A

certain someone had a senior moment.
_________________________________

But that's okay, because we love him

and we got a free rug out of it.
_________________________________

What is the point of

going to church every Sunday
_________________________________

when if someone we love has a

genuine religious experience,
_________________________________

we ignore it? Right, Grandpa?
_________________________________

I want bananas on my waffles!
_________________________________

I rest my case.
_________________________________

I'm not dropping this.
_________________________________

Wait a minute! I'm still in the car.
_________________________________

Oh, right.
_________________________________

Hmm...
_________________________________

"Take out hornets' nest."
_________________________________

(HORNETS BUZZING)
_________________________________

(FRENZIED BUZZING)
_________________________________

Check. "Fix sinkhole."
_________________________________

(QUIET SUCKING)
_________________________________

(SUCKING CONTINUES)
_________________________________

-(PLOP)

-(SUCKING STOPS)
_________________________________

Check.
_________________________________

"Reshingle roof"?
_________________________________

(BIRDS CHIRPING)
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________

-(LOUD SQUISH)

-Ow-how-how!
_________________________________

-Ow-how-how!

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(YELLS) Why, you little...
_________________________________

I'll teach you to laugh

at something that's funny!
_________________________________

(EXHALES) You know, we are on

the roof. We could have some fun.
_________________________________

What kind of fun?
_________________________________

How about a dare contest?
_________________________________

That sounds fun. I dare you to...
_________________________________

climb the TV antenna.
_________________________________

Piece of cake.
_________________________________

-Earthquake!

-(LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING AND GASPS)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Aftershock!
_________________________________

-(PLAYFUL GRUNTING)

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________
FLANDERS: Homer, I don't mean to
be a nervous Pervis or anything,

_________________________________

but if he falls, couldn't that

make your boy a parapleg-erino?
_________________________________

Shut up, Flanders.
_________________________________

-Yeah, shut up, Flanders.

-Well said, boy.
_________________________________

BOTH: Yeah!
_________________________________

Steady... Steady...
_________________________________

Steady...
_________________________________
HOMER: Ah!

_________________________________

-(THUDS)

-(BART LAUGHING)
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
LISA: Hello. Sorry to bother you

on a Sunday,

_________________________________

but I'm sure you're as worried about

the pollution
_________________________________
-in Lake Springfield as I am.

-(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________

(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
LISA: Lake Springfield has
higher levels of mercury than even...

_________________________________

(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________
SWEET OLD LADY: Why, it's

the little girl who saved my cat.

_________________________________
LISA: Lake Springfield is...

_________________________________

-(DOOR SLAMS)

-(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(DOORS SLAMMING)
_________________________________

(DOG YELPS)
_________________________________

(DOOR SLAMS)
_________________________________

-(BELL RINGS)

-(SHIP'S HORN BLOWS)
_________________________________

(GROANS) Oh...
_________________________________

-(DOOR CREAKS)

-Come on over, Lisa.
_________________________________

You can canvass me
as long as you want.

_________________________________

Milhouse, you don't care

about the environment.
_________________________________

Hey! I am very passionate

about the planet!
_________________________________

Say global warming is a myth!
_________________________________

It's a myth! Further study is needed!
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

That's for selling out your beliefs!
_________________________________

Oh, poor Milhouse.
_________________________________

-Dream coming true.

-(KNOCKING)
_________________________________
COLIN: Are you aware that

a leaky faucet can waste over...
_________________________________

-(DOOR SLAMS)

-2,000 gallons a year.
_________________________________

-And turning off your lights can save...

-Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
_________________________________

And if we just kept our

thermostats at 68 in winter...
_________________________________

We'd be free from our dependency

on foreign oil in 17 years!
_________________________________

-I'm Colin.

-(GASPS SOFTLY)
_________________________________

I haven't seen you at school.
_________________________________

Just moved from Ireland.

My dad's a musician.
_________________________________

-Is he...

-He's not Bono.
_________________________________

I just thought because you're

Irish and you care about...
_________________________________

He's not Bono.
_________________________________

Do you play?
_________________________________

Just piano, guitar,

trumpet, drums and bass.
_________________________________
LISA: (THINKING) He's pure gold!

For once in your life, be cool.
_________________________________

So is your name as pretty as your face?
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

(SCREECHES) Ha! Ha!
_________________________________

You okay there?
_________________________________

(LISA GAGGING)
_________________________________

(CHOKING AND GIGGLING)
_________________________________

Twisted tail! A thousand eyes!

Trapped forever! EPA! EPA!
_________________________________

"EPA." What could that be?
_________________________________

I believe it's the sound

the Green Lantern made
_________________________________

when Sinestro threw him
into a vat of acid.

_________________________________

Epa!
_________________________________

Yeah. Uh, thanks for coming over.
_________________________________

Thanks for giving me

your pregnancy pants.
_________________________________

I've never known comfort like this.
_________________________________

(ELASTIC SLAPS)
_________________________________

_________________________________
BUCK: Mmm...

_________________________________

Okay, mammals.

Let's stop here for the night.
_________________________________

Stop? What about the whole
_________________________________

end of the world collision thing?
_________________________________

Oh, asteroid's still a day off.
_________________________________

And like my grandfather used to say...
_________________________________

"Red sky at night, sailor's delight.
_________________________________

"Purple sky at night,

who moved my foot cream?
_________________________________

"I need my foot cream."
_________________________________

Grampy was a confused

and angry weasel.
_________________________________

-(JULIAN AND DIEGO LAUGHING)

-DIEGO: You are so funny, J.
_________________________________

Stop! You're funny.
_________________________________

Take it easy, my brother

from a tiger mother.
_________________________________

(BOTH LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Hasta manana, J-man.
_________________________________

What was that?
_________________________________

What was what?
_________________________________

Oh, that! It's a cool way to peace out.
_________________________________

Julian taught it to me.
_________________________________

Well, I'm glad the apocalypse

is bringing you together.
_________________________________

He's a good kid, Manny.

I like his philosophy.
_________________________________

Give him a chance. Bond with him.
_________________________________

(SINGING) So light 'em up, up, up
_________________________________

Light 'em up, up, up
_________________________________

Light 'em up, up, up
I'm on fire

_________________________________
-(GROANS)

-Bonding! That's a good idea!
_________________________________

Oh, right. Got you.
_________________________________

You take Julian.
I got an idea for Peaches.

_________________________________

(HUMMING)
_________________________________

Hey, Bro-Kid.
_________________________________

Oh, hey, Bro-Dad. You here to rock out?
_________________________________

(MIMICKING DRUMMING)
_________________________________

Okay. Instead of that...
_________________________________

how about a game before bedtime?
_________________________________

No way! You want to play

a game with me? Wow!
_________________________________

What is honored times 1,000?
_________________________________

No! Times one million?
_________________________________

'Cause whatever that equals,

is how honored I am.
_________________________________

So, is that a "yes"?
_________________________________

Yes, that's a "yes." It's the most "yes"!
_________________________________

It's like "yes" with a bunch of s's...
_________________________________

so it's like "yessssssssssssssssssss."
_________________________________

Great!
_________________________________

-(GRUNTING)

-I'll see you on the ice!
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Happy?
_________________________________

Whoa!
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

Oh, boy.
_________________________________

(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

So, do you think you're ready

to go out roaming on your own?
_________________________________

I won't be alone. I'll have Julian.
_________________________________

Sure. But with asteroids flying...
_________________________________

no home to speak of
_________________________________

and absolutely no support system...
_________________________________

do you think you'll be ready for...
_________________________________

this?
_________________________________

(GASPING)
_________________________________

I'm a wittle baby.
_________________________________

(BAWLING)
_________________________________

Imagine. You're in the woods,

looking for food...
_________________________________

and your baby gets sick.
What do you do?

_________________________________

Uh...
_________________________________

No! Jiggling makes her feel worse!
_________________________________

(VOCALIZING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMS)
_________________________________

(BAWLING)
_________________________________

Oh, no! Now your older toddler
_________________________________

has a skinned knee and a stuffy nose.
_________________________________

Mommy, hold me!
_________________________________

Now your babies are crying.
_________________________________

You have no food and then
_________________________________

you come face to face

with a rabid beast!
_________________________________

(GROWLING)
_________________________________

I am a rabid beast

who gives rabies to babies.
_________________________________

(YELLING)
_________________________________

And there's an arsonist on the loose.
_________________________________

(CACKLING)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

How are you going to handle

all this without our help?
_________________________________

(BOTH BAWLING)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(CACKLING)
_________________________________

-Huh?

-Ah!
_________________________________

(CRYING)
_________________________________

-Ah!

-(BAWLING)
_________________________________

Peaches, out!
_________________________________

That's just the easy stuff.
_________________________________

There's a lot more we still need to cover.
_________________________________

Uh... Baby made a poopie.
_________________________________

(SPITS) I'm a method actor,

so I will need to be changed.
_________________________________

_________________________________

-(BB'S PINGING)

-(HOMER GRUNTING)
_________________________________

D'oh! Oh, why did I... Oh! Suggest this?
_________________________________

(SHRIEKING) Oh! Aah!

Ow! Ee! Aah! Aah!
_________________________________

(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)
_________________________________

(TIMER DINGS)
_________________________________

All right, boy, time for the ultimate dare.
_________________________________

I dare you to skateboard

to Krusty Burger and back...
_________________________________

naked.
_________________________________

-How naked?

-Fourth base.
_________________________________

But girls might see my doodle.
_________________________________

(MOCKING) Oh, I see. Then

I hereby declare you "chicken for life."
_________________________________

Every morning, you'll wake up to
"Good morning, chicken."

_________________________________

At your wedding, I'll sing...
_________________________________

(CLUCKING WEDDING SONG)
_________________________________

(SURPRISED CLUCK)
_________________________________

_________________________________
JULIAN: Oh! So close!

_________________________________

These pucks go fast.
_________________________________

Just watch the puck

all the way into the stick.
_________________________________

Oh! I did it!
_________________________________

Too bad you and Peaches
are moving away.

_________________________________

If you stayed,

we could do this all the time.
_________________________________

Okay. Show me the heat!
_________________________________

I'm like a hockey ninja!
_________________________________

Hey, Peaches!
_________________________________

Looks like you got a new hockey partner

_________________________________

to replace your dad.
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(GROANING)
_________________________________

Oh!
_________________________________

Oh, no.
_________________________________

Julian!
_________________________________

_________________________________

(SURF ROCK PLAYING)
_________________________________

(PEOPLE GASP)
_________________________________

I like men now.
_________________________________

Don't look where I'm pointing!
_________________________________

(SIREN WAILING)
_________________________________
WIGGUM: Stop in the name of

American squeamishness!
_________________________________

-(TIRES SCREECH)

-(DRIVERS GASPING)
_________________________________

Boys, before we eat, don't forget

to thank the Lord for this bountiful...
_________________________________

Penis!
_________________________________

BOTH: Bountiful penis.
_________________________________

Amen.
_________________________________

(GLASS SQUEAKING)
_________________________________

Listen, kid, nobody

likes wearing clothes in public,
_________________________________

but, you know, it-it's the law.
_________________________________

Lunchtime!
_________________________________

You can't just leave me out here.
_________________________________

Don't worry. We found

a friend for you to play with.
_________________________________

Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________

(HOARSELY) Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha...
_________________________________

Nelson, honey, where have you been?
_________________________________

Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
_________________________________

_________________________________

(SHIVERING)
_________________________________

Such a mystery why

he wants to move far away.
_________________________________

I didn't mean to do it.
_________________________________

It's not my fault the kid has no reflexes.
_________________________________
PEACHES:

How could you do that to him?
_________________________________

I thought you liked Julian.
_________________________________

I do like Julian.
_________________________________

Well, you don't act like it.
_________________________________

When you look at him

all you see is an obstacle.
_________________________________

Or worse, a target.
_________________________________

But I see a sweet guy...
_________________________________

who's trying his hardest to impress you.
_________________________________

-Peaches.

-No! Both of you, just stop!
_________________________________

If we survive, I'm still getting married
_________________________________

and I'm still leaving home.
_________________________________

Whether you're happy for me or not.
_________________________________

Don't give me that look. She said both.
_________________________________

That means you, too.
_________________________________

And this widdle astewoid went

wee, wee, wee, all the way home.
_________________________________

(DINO-BIRDS GASP)
_________________________________
ROGER: Hey... (YELPS)

_________________________________

Eh...
_________________________________

Because Daddy and his fwiends

saved the world.
_________________________________

_________________________________

♪ First you find a can from a rusty van

_________________________________

♪ Bump-bump

_________________________________

♪ Quicker than a dart, make it into art

_________________________________

♪ Bump-bump

_________________________________

♪ That's the way it's done,
it's a lot of fun

_________________________________

♪ Bump-bump

_________________________________

♪ Liftin' my funk,
makin' sculpture outta junk ♪

_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES)
-(DEVICE BEEPING)

_________________________________

What's that? (SCOFFS) There we go!

_________________________________

Somebody's interrupting genius!

_________________________________

-(GASPS) Well, hey, there, buddy!

-(CHUCKLES) Mater!
_________________________________
You know, I was just thinking of you

_________________________________

and here you are lookin' right at me!

_________________________________

You see me okay? Hang on a second
there. Hold on. Let me see here.

_________________________________

-That better?
-(CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Looking you straight

in the eye there, pal.

_________________________________

Hey, sorry about calling so late.

_________________________________

Shoot, not for me it's not.

_________________________________

I'm always burning that midnight oil.

_________________________________

So get me caught up on everything.

_________________________________

Well, actually kind of hoping

_________________________________

I might hear what's going on back home.

_________________________________

Not much. If you don't

count Sarge and Fillmore

_________________________________

tryin' to run the tire shop.

_________________________________

But tell Luigi not to worry,

Sarge is gonna track down...

_________________________________

every last tire
that Fillmore done gived away.

_________________________________

Other than that, everything's good.

_________________________________

-How's Sally?
-Oh, she's fine.

_________________________________

Keeping busy at the Cone.
She misses you.

_________________________________

Well, shoot! We all do

when you're on the road.

_________________________________

Yeah. You know, I've been

kind of thinking about that.

_________________________________

You know, what we should do

_________________________________

when I'm not on the road anymore.

_________________________________

What do you mean not on the road?

_________________________________

Well, you know.

_________________________________

Mater, I can't do this forever.

_________________________________

Huh?

_________________________________

I'm just not getting anywhere
with the training.

_________________________________

If anything,
I've gotten slower not faster.

_________________________________

Shoot, buddy, it'll work out.

_________________________________

Just tell me what the problem is...

_________________________________

and I'll stay right here

with you until we fix it.

_________________________________

That's just it, Mater. I don't know.

_________________________________

And I feel like I'm all out of ideas.

_________________________________

Hmm.

_________________________________

All right, let me think.

Oh! You know what I'd do?

_________________________________

What?

_________________________________

I don't know. I got nothin'.

_________________________________

I guess I ain't Doc when it comes to that.

_________________________________

I would give anything
to talk to him right now.

_________________________________

Yep, there was nobody

smarter than old Doc.

_________________________________

Well, except for maybe

whoever taught him.

_________________________________

Yeah. Wait. What?

_________________________________

Everybody was taught

by somebody, right?

_________________________________

Take my cousin Doyle.

_________________________________

He taught me how to sing
and whistle at the same time.

_________________________________

He was very musical that way.

_________________________________

Smokey. Mater, you're brilliant.

_________________________________

Ah, well... It's all about

the shape of your teeth.

_________________________________

I got to go to Thomasville.

_________________________________
MATER: Oh, well, good.

_________________________________

You know me, buddy,
I'm always happy to help.

_________________________________

Think I am better at that than most folks.
You know, talkin' and stuff.

_________________________________

_________________________________
(GUN FIRING)
_________________________________

(THUNDER RUMBLING)
_________________________________

(WOMAN SCREAMING)
_________________________________

(CLATTERING)
_________________________________

REMY: This is me.
_________________________________

I think it's apparent
I need to rethink my life a little bit.
_________________________________

What's my problem?
_________________________________

First of all, I'm a rat.
_________________________________

Which means life is hard.
_________________________________

And second, I have a highly developed
sense of taste and smell.

_________________________________
(SNIFFING)
_________________________________

Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla bean...

_________________________________

Oh! Small twist of lemon.

_________________________________

Whoa, you can smell all that?
You have a gift.

_________________________________

REMY: This is Emile, my brother.
He's easily impressed.

_________________________________
So you can smell ingredients?
So what?
_________________________________

This is my dad. He's never impressed.

_________________________________
He also happens to be
the leader of our clan.

_________________________________
So, what's wrong
with having highly developed senses?

_________________________________
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't eat that!

-What's going on here?
_________________________________

Turns out that funny smell
was rat poison.

_________________________________
Suddenly, Dad didn't think
my talent was useless.
_________________________________

I was feeling pretty good about my gift,
_________________________________

until Dad gave me a job.
_________________________________

Clean.

_________________________________

Clean.

_________________________________

That's right. Poison checker.
_________________________________
Cleanerific.

_________________________________

Cleanerino.

_________________________________

Close to godliness.

_________________________________

Which means clean.
You know, cleanliness is close to...

_________________________________

Never mind. Move on.

_________________________________

Well, it made my dad proud.
_________________________________

Now, don't you feel better, Remy?
You've helped a noble cause.

_________________________________

Noble? We're thieves, Dad.

_________________________________

And what we're stealing is,
let's face it, garbage.

_________________________________

It isn't stealing if no one wants it.

_________________________________

If no one wants it,
why are we stealing it?

_________________________________
(LECTURING)
_________________________________

Let's just say
we have different points of view.
_________________________________

This much I knew:

_________________________________
If you are what you eat,
then I only want to eat the good stuff.

_________________________________
But to my dad...
_________________________________

Food is fuel.

_________________________________

You get picky about what you put
in the tank, your engine is gonna die.

_________________________________

Now shut up and eat your garbage.

_________________________________

Look, if we're going to be thieves,
_________________________________

why not steal the good stuff
in the kitchen,
_________________________________

where nothing is poisoned?
_________________________________

First of all, we are not thieves.

_________________________________

Secondly, stay out of the kitchen
and away from the humans.

_________________________________

It's dangerous.

_________________________________

REMY: I know
I'm supposed to hate humans,
_________________________________

but there's something about them.
_________________________________

They don't just survive.
They discover, they create.
_________________________________

I mean,
just look at what they do with food.

_________________________________
GUSTEAU: (ON TV)
How can I describe it?
_________________________________

Good food is like music you can taste,
color you can smell.
_________________________________

There is excellence all around you.
_________________________________

You need only be aware to stop
and savor it.

_________________________________
REMY: Oh, Gusteau was right.
_________________________________

Oh, mmm, yeah.
_________________________________

Oh, amazing.
_________________________________

Each flavor was totally unique.
_________________________________

But combine one flavor with another,
_________________________________

and something new was created.

_________________________________
(GASPS)
_________________________________

_________________________________

(ANGUS WHINNIES)

_________________________________

(WISP CALLS)

_________________________________

(WISP CALLS)

_________________________________

-(WHISPERS) Come on, Angus.

-(ANGUS NICKERS)

_________________________________

Angus!

_________________________________

(NICKERS)

_________________________________

(SIGHS)

_________________________________

(WISPS CALL)

_________________________________

(ANGUS NEIGHS)

_________________________________

(WISP CALLS)

_________________________________

(WHINNYING)

_________________________________

(WISP CALLS)

_________________________________

Why would the wisps lead me here?

_________________________________

(BELL TINKLES)

_________________________________

Uh...

_________________________________

(WOOD GENTLY TAPPING)

_________________________________

Oh, look around.

_________________________________

You holler if you see anything you like.

_________________________________

Everything is half off.

_________________________________

Uh...

_________________________________

-Who are you?

-Just a humble woodcarver.

_________________________________

Um...

_________________________________

I don't understand... (GASPS)

_________________________________

-See anything you like?

-Uh...

_________________________________

Perhaps a touch of whimsy

to brighten any dank chamber?

_________________________________

But the will-o'-the-wisps, they...

_________________________________

Oh! This is one of a kind!

_________________________________

I'll make you a deal for this rare prize.

_________________________________

-Your broom!

-Oh! (SNAPS)

_________________________________

-It was sweeping by itself.

-That's ridiculous.

_________________________________

Wood cannot be imbued

with magical properties.

_________________________________

I should know. I'm a wit... Whittler.

_________________________________

Of wood.

_________________________________

Oh, how about this conversation starter?

It's made of yew wood.

_________________________________

-(GENTLE CLATTERING)

-Tough as stone.

_________________________________

Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah!

_________________________________

That's stuffed. (LAUGHS)

_________________________________

-Staring is rude.

-(GASPS) Ooh! The crow's talking!

_________________________________

That's not all I can do.

_________________________________

La-Ia la-la la-la

_________________________________

-(SINGS HIGH NOTES)

-(SNAPS)

_________________________________

(SQUAWKS)

_________________________________

-You're a witch!

-Woodcarver.

_________________________________

That's why the wisps led me here.

_________________________________

-Woodcarver!

-You'll change my fate!

_________________________________

-Woodcarver!

-You see, it's my mother.

_________________________________

I'm not a witch!

Too many unsatisfied customers.

_________________________________

If you're not going to buy anything,

get out. (SNAPS)

_________________________________

-No! The wisps led me here!

-I don't care!

_________________________________

-Get out! Shoo! Get! Be gone with you!

-I'll buy it all.

_________________________________

-What? What was that?

-Every carving.

_________________________________

Well... (STAMMERING)

_________________________________

(LAUGHS) And how are you going

to pay for that, sweetie?

_________________________________

-With this.

-W...

_________________________________

Oh, my, that's lovely, that is.

_________________________________

That would set us up for months.

_________________________________

(CLATTERING)

_________________________________

-MERIDA: Ah, ah, ah.

-(GASPS)

_________________________________

-Every carving and one spell.

-(SQUAWKS)

_________________________________

Are you sure

you know what you're doing?

_________________________________

I want a spell to change my mum.

_________________________________

That'll change my fate.

_________________________________

Hmm... Done!

_________________________________

-(CHUCKLES)

-Where are you going?

_________________________________

(SNAPS)

_________________________________

-(SQUAWKING)

-There.

_________________________________

What are you doing?

_________________________________

You never conjure where you carve.

_________________________________

Very important.

_________________________________

WITCH: The last time I did this

was for a prince.

_________________________________

-(CLAPS)

-(CAULDRON IGNITES)

_________________________________

Easy on the eyes. Tight pants.

_________________________________

He demanded I give him

the strength of ten men.

_________________________________

And he gave me this for a spell.

_________________________________

A spell that would change his fate.

_________________________________

And did he get what he was after?

_________________________________

(LAUGHS) Yes.

_________________________________

And made off with an especially

attractive mahogany cheese board.

_________________________________

Now, what do I need? Oh!

_________________________________

-Just a little bit of this.

-(THUNDER RUMBLING)

_________________________________

Ah. (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Hoo!

_________________________________

(SQUAWKING)

_________________________________

Tee-tee-tee-tee. Whoosh.

_________________________________

That'll do.

_________________________________

(HUMS HAPPILY)

_________________________________

-(SQUAWKS)

-Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi.

_________________________________

(BANG)

_________________________________

(PANICKED WHINNYING)

_________________________________

And now let's see. What have we here?

_________________________________

(GASPS) oh!

_________________________________

-Hey!

-(SQUAWKS)

_________________________________

Uh, a cake?

_________________________________

-You don't want it?

-Yes! I want it.

_________________________________

You're sure if I give this to my mum,

_________________________________

it will change my fate?

_________________________________

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

_________________________________

Trust me. It'll do the trick, dearie.

_________________________________

Expect delivery of your purchase

within a fortnight.

_________________________________

Ooh! Ooh...

_________________________________

What was that thing about the spell?

_________________________________

Did you say something about

_________________________________

the spell?

_________________________________

_________________________________
RALPH: Okay. My turn, my turn.

Um, I got one.
_________________________________

VANELLOPE:
Great, but can you make it
_________________________________
a little more challenging
this time?
_________________________________

RALPH: Okay. Check this out.
(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________

I spy with my little eye...
_________________________________

something yellow...
_________________________________

and round, and it eats dots.
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: (SCOFFS)
Seriously, Ralph?
_________________________________

RALPH: Yeah, seriously.

You're never gonna get it.
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Well, obviously,
it's Pac-Man.
_________________________________

RALPH: No, that's not...
_________________________________
Why is it obvious?
_________________________________

Name one other thing
in this whole arcade
_________________________________

that is yellow and round
and eats dots.
_________________________________

I can name two things.
_________________________________
Ms. Pac-Man and Baby Pac-Man.
_________________________________
Boom! I accept your apology.
_________________________________

Yeah, you're right. Okay.
But was it Pac-Man?

_________________________________

-Yeah, you got me.
-(VANELLOPE LAUGHS)
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Knew it.
All right, riddle me this...
_________________________________

do you or do you not think
that Zangief waxes?
_________________________________

No way. Look at the guy.

He looks like a yeti.
_________________________________

I don't know.
_________________________________
I mean, if the fur
were confined to his chest,

_________________________________

I might agree...
_________________________________
but look at those
two very specific
_________________________________

tuffets of shin hair...
_________________________________

poking out of his boots.
_________________________________

That does not just happen,
Ralph. That is a choice.
_________________________________

RALPH:
You're totally right, kid.
_________________________________

He's baby smooth
everywhere else.
_________________________________

I rest my case.
_________________________________
My mind is blown!
_________________________________

Let's go get a root beer.
_________________________________

RALPH: (SIGHS) Okay, let's see
what you got, kid.
_________________________________

-(BURPS)
-Ooh!
_________________________________
Nice one. Okay.
(CLEARS THROAT)
_________________________________
I think I got one
in the chamber.
_________________________________

-(BURPS LOUDLY)
-Ew!
_________________________________
-Gross.

-Thank you.
_________________________________

Hey, wanna sneak into Tron?

_________________________________
Doesn't that game
have a virus?
_________________________________

No. I'm sure they fixed it.
_________________________________

-(LASERS ZAPPING)
-VANELLOPE: Whoo!
_________________________________
I'm gonna beat
my speed record!
_________________________________

Hey, wait for me!
_________________________________
(VANELLOPE WHOOPING)
_________________________________
(DISTORTED WHOOPING)
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Ralph.
_________________________________

RALPH: Yeah?
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: I don't think
they fixed the game.
_________________________________

RALPH: Uh... No.
_________________________________

Help!
_________________________________
Hey, Tron!
_________________________________
Tronny!
_________________________________
Tronny boy!
_________________________________

Help!
_________________________________

VANELLOPE: Do you realize
_________________________________
we're basically
just, like, zeroes and ones...

_________________________________

floating around the universe
like tiny specks of dust?
_________________________________

Like, doesn't the very nature
_________________________________
of our existence
make you wonder...
_________________________________

if there's more to life
than this?
_________________________________

Why would I wonder
if there's more to life
_________________________________
when the life
I got is perfect?
_________________________________

I mean, sure.
Doesn't look so hot on paper.
_________________________________

I'm just a bad guy
from some old video game
_________________________________
who wrecks a building.

_________________________________
And yeah, for 27 years,
_________________________________
I was a total zero
without any friends.
_________________________________

But now,
I got a best friend...
_________________________________
who just happens to be
_________________________________
the coolest kid
in the whole arcade.

_________________________________

Aw, thanks, pal.
_________________________________

Watch this.
_________________________________
(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

-(BUZZING)
-RALPH: Home run!
_________________________________

All right,
let's go watch the sunrise.
_________________________________

_________________________________

Dad!
_________________________________

What seems to be the problem, officers?
_________________________________

Tell them you dared me to do it.
_________________________________

If that's true, then you should be

taking the rap here, not your son.
_________________________________

And what happens to me if it's my fault?
_________________________________

You'll have to attend

a one-hour parenting class.
_________________________________

It was all his idea!

He's out of control, I tell you!
_________________________________

I'm at my wit's end!
_________________________________

(SOBBING) It's so...
_________________________________
WIGGUM: See you in court, kid.

_________________________________

Okay, son, let's get some lunch.
_________________________________

Did you at least bring my clothes?
_________________________________

Shirt, socks, everything you need.
_________________________________

-You didn't bring my pants!

-Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
_________________________________

(SIGHS) Oh, this is

the worst day of my life.
_________________________________

The worst day of your life so far.
_________________________________

-Say, Bart?

-What do you want, Flanders?
_________________________________

If you need pants, I carry an extra pair.
_________________________________

I mean, you know how boys are,

always praying through the knees.
_________________________________

Why are you helping me?

I'm not your kid.
_________________________________

We're neighbors. I'm sure your father

would do the same for my boys.
_________________________________
HOMER: Thank you.

_________________________________

HOMER: (CHOMPING)
Mmm, mmm, mmm...
_________________________________

(MUMBLING)
_________________________________

-Hey, what's with you?

-You really want to know?
_________________________________

Of course I do.
_________________________________

What kind of a father
wouldn't care about...

_________________________________

A pig wearing a hat!
_________________________________
DIRECTOR: Action.

_________________________________

Hey, hey! It's your old pal Krusty,
for my new pork sandwich, the Klogger!

_________________________________

If you can find a greasier sandwich,

you're in Mexico!
_________________________________

(GOOFY LAUGHING)
_________________________________

Mmm!
_________________________________
DIRECTOR: And we're clear.

_________________________________

Blech! Perfect. Cut, print, kill the pig.
_________________________________

(SQUEALING)
_________________________________

What? You can't kill him

if he's wearing people clothes.
_________________________________

(SQUEALS)
_________________________________

(SQUEAKS, SNORTS)
_________________________________

(MAN SINGING

ROMANTIC POP SONG)
_________________________________

-You're coming home with me.

-(SQUEALS AND SNORTS)
_________________________________

(GUNSHOTS AND BABIES CRYING)
_________________________________

"A thousand eyes." What could that be?
_________________________________

Hmm, I'm pretty sure
a thousand is a number.

_________________________________

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married

to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
_________________________________

Actually, it's aged me horribly.
_________________________________

Then say hello to the newest Simpson!

_________________________________

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
_________________________________

(GASPS)
_________________________________

Homer!
_________________________________

(QUIET GRUNT)
_________________________________

I believe what happened in church

was a warning about precisely this.
_________________________________

Please, get rid of that pig!
_________________________________

Oh, you're gonna love him.

Look, he does an impression of you.
_________________________________

(SQUEALS LOUDLY)
_________________________________

(GRUNTING)
_________________________________

(LAUGHING) You nailed her.
_________________________________

He also does me.
_________________________________

(BELCHES)
_________________________________

(MARGE LAUGHING)
_________________________________

You smiled! I'm off the hook!
_________________________________

Ooh.
_________________________________

(HOMER HUMMING)
_________________________________

Oh, you have so many looks.
_________________________________

(PLOPPER SNORTS)
_________________________________

(SIGHS)
_________________________________

(KISSING)
_________________________________

(VACUUM WHIRRING)
_________________________________

Hmm, so that's what snug is.
_________________________________
HOMER: Who's a good pig?

_________________________________

(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
_________________________________

Who's a good pig?
_________________________________
FLANDERS: Rough day, huh, son?

_________________________________

You don't know what rough is, sister.
_________________________________

(CHUCKLES)
_________________________________

Bart, you know, whenever my boys

bake up a batch of frownies,
_________________________________

I take them fishing.
_________________________________

Does your dad ever take you fishing?
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL BUZZING)

-Dad!
_________________________________

It's not fair to use a bug zapper
to catch the fish.

_________________________________

If you love fish like I do,

you want them to die with dignity.
_________________________________

(LOUD ZAPPING)
_________________________________

(GURGLING)
_________________________________

I think I have a nibble. (SCREAMS)
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

-(SCREAMING)

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
_________________________________

-(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

-(SCREAMING)
_________________________________

I think fishing might be
more fun with you.

_________________________________

Oh, great. Now, how about

I fix you some cocoa?
_________________________________

No way, cocoa's for wusses.
_________________________________

Well, sir, if you change your mind,

it's on the windowsill.
_________________________________

(GRUNTS)
_________________________________

(SLURPING)
_________________________________
BART: Oh, my God.

_________________________________

Oh, wait. I didn't tell you the

best part. He loves the environment.
_________________________________

Oh, wait, I still didn't tell you

the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.
_________________________________

No, no, wait, wait!
I still didn't tell you the best part!

_________________________________

He's not imaginary.
_________________________________

Oh, honey, that's great.
_________________________________

But the very best thing
is that he listens to you.

_________________________________

Because nothing means more
than for a man to...
_________________________________

How did the pig tracks
get on the ceiling?
_________________________________

HOMER: (SINGING) Spider Pig
♪ Spider Pig
_________________________________

♪ Does whatever a Spider Pig does
_________________________________

♪ Can he swing from a web?
_________________________________

♪ No, he can't, he's a pig
_________________________________

♪ Look out
He is the Spider-Pig

_________________________________

_________________________________